If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(New York Daily News)   Bronx newborn hasn't slept through the night since she was born 18 months ago. Also meet her mom and dad, probably the world's strongest parents   (nydailynews.com) divider line 37
    More: Sappy, Weill Cornell Medical College, Bronx, Dr. Haviva Veler, sleep apnea, hyperactivity, night terrors, Haley Rivera  
•       •       •

22045 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Feb 2013 at 5:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-02-25 03:52:38 PM  
9 votes:

queezyweezel: brap: Well maybe if that baby hadn't done so much got damned COCAINE she wouldn't have a deviated septum.  Had a similar issue with brap jr. until we started bottle feeding him Nyquil.

Nyquil?  What the hell is wrong with you?  Benadryl is for babies.  B.  Baby.


Never EVER drug a baby to sleep with OTC medecines!

That's what whiskey is for.
2013-02-25 03:51:01 PM  
8 votes:
I have not slept for 18 months either because that would be too long.
2013-02-25 05:25:23 PM  
6 votes:
www.explosm.net
2013-02-25 04:05:55 PM  
6 votes:

namegoeshere: queezyweezel: brap: Well maybe if that baby hadn't done so much got damned COCAINE she wouldn't have a deviated septum.  Had a similar issue with brap jr. until we started bottle feeding him Nyquil.

Nyquil?  What the hell is wrong with you?  Benadryl is for babies.  B.  Baby.

Never EVER drug a baby to sleep with OTC medecines!

That's what whiskey is for.


I though the whiskey was for teething. Are you trying to say that gently shaking them to sleep is wrong?
2013-02-25 03:47:10 PM  
6 votes:

brap: Well maybe if that baby hadn't done so much got damned COCAINE she wouldn't have a deviated septum.  Had a similar issue with brap jr. until we started bottle feeding him Nyquil.


Nyquil?  What the hell is wrong with you?  Benadryl is for babies.  B.  Baby.
2013-02-25 03:44:57 PM  
6 votes:
Well maybe if that baby hadn't done so much got damned COCAINE she wouldn't have a deviated septum.  Had a similar issue with brap jr. until we started bottle feeding him Nyquil.
2013-02-25 04:11:25 PM  
5 votes:

The My Little Pony Killer: namegoeshere: queezyweezel: brap: Well maybe if that baby hadn't done so much got damned COCAINE she wouldn't have a deviated septum.  Had a similar issue with brap jr. until we started bottle feeding him Nyquil.

Nyquil?  What the hell is wrong with you?  Benadryl is for babies.  B.  Baby.

Never EVER drug a baby to sleep with OTC medecines!

That's what whiskey is for.

I though the whiskey was for teething. Are you trying to say that gently shaking them to sleep is wrong?


Whiskey is for the babysitter.  You NEVER shake a toddler. you apply a good choke hold.
2013-02-25 05:11:02 PM  
4 votes:
If I were offered a cute woman's nipple to suck every time I woke up crying, I'd be waking up every 3 hours too.
2013-02-25 05:09:32 PM  
4 votes:
Sounds like she has ADHD.  They should give her Adderall so she can concentrate on sleeping more.
2013-02-25 08:35:49 PM  
3 votes:

Lucidz: Keep these threads coming.  It thrills me to no end that I've made the choice to be celibate so that I don't have to worry about any little demon-monsters running around the house.


Please tell us more about your "choice" to be celebate.
2013-02-25 05:16:23 PM  
3 votes:

Lee451: The next night you can't get to sleep, think about this:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fatal_familial_insomnia


The patient suffers increasing insomnia, resulting in panic attacks, paranoia, and phobias. This stage lasts for about four months.
Hallucinations and panic attacks become noticeable, continuing for about five months.
Complete inability to sleep is followed by rapid loss of weight. This lasts for about three months.
Dementia, during which the patient becomes unresponsive or mute over the course of six months. This is the final progression of the disease, after which death follows.

Known Causes: reading this Wikipedia page.

WTF are you doing to us!?
2013-02-25 06:25:16 PM  
2 votes:
"

 but indicated it may be a behavioral problem causing the sleeping problems "

"Mam, have a seat please.  I don't know how to break it to you but we've ruled out apnea and came to the conclusion your kid is just a jerk."
2013-02-25 05:49:48 PM  
2 votes:
sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net
Is getting a kick out of this thread.....

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
....not so much.
2013-02-25 05:43:13 PM  
2 votes:
queezyweezel : Nyquil? What the hell is wrong with you? Benadryl is for babies. B. Baby

Nyquil is for newborns. N. Newborn.
2013-02-25 05:31:29 PM  
2 votes:

busy chillin': Pair-o-Dice: billybobtoo: a shot of whiskey!  Thanks Mom...I am now a raging alcoholik...

Xanax. Makes me sleep like a baby. Not this baby, a generic baby.

Pair-o-Dice: billybobtoo: a shot of whiskey!  Thanks Mom...I am now a raging alcoholik...

Xanax. Makes me sleep like a baby. Not this baby, a generic baby.

Like a baby? So you wake up every couple hours crying with sh*t in your diaper?


Maybe...
2013-02-25 05:19:58 PM  
2 votes:
We used the Baby Wise system. Worked pretty well as he was sleeping through the night at 5 months. They should try that, and if that doesn't work exchange her for one that sleeps, next time they are at the hospital.
2013-02-25 05:10:34 PM  
2 votes:

Lollipop165: The morning of my first day home (also as a Bronx newborn) my parents woke up at 8am in the morning and ran to my crib thinking I was dead. I was just sleeping. I never had a problem sleeping as a baby.

Still don't.


Most parents hardly get any sleep those first few nights home for fear of SIDS and making sure the baby is fed at proper intervals to regain birth weight.  Good to hear your parents didn't care about such matters and were able to sleep so soundly.
2013-02-25 05:06:41 PM  
2 votes:
I really thought this was going to be a cute zoo story. I am disappoint.
2013-02-25 05:04:47 PM  
2 votes:

Lollipop165: The morning of my first day home (also as a Bronx newborn) my parents woke up at 8am in the morning and ran to my crib thinking I was dead. I was just sleeping. I never had a problem sleeping as a baby.

Still don't.


You still do not experience problems sleeping as a baby?
2013-02-25 09:00:35 PM  
1 votes:
Welcome to parenthood.
2013-02-25 08:23:00 PM  
1 votes:
lh6.googleusercontent.com
2013-02-25 07:39:51 PM  
1 votes:
blatz514:
[www.nydailynews.com image 635x433]
Dr. Haviva Veler is the director of Weill Cornell's Pediatric Sleep Center and a pediatric pulmonologist at New York-Presbyterian's Komansky Center for Children's Health.

*shakes head*

 I read that as Valveeta.


Huh.  I read it as "Princess Vaginitis, Queen of Vulvania".  Aaaand my joke would be funnier if she actually was an OBGYN.
2013-02-25 07:21:20 PM  
1 votes:
My children perform in superior fashion when measured against the performance of your children
2013-02-25 06:40:31 PM  
1 votes:

SchadenFraud: skullkrusher: queezyweezel: lordargent: queezyweezel : Nyquil? What the hell is wrong with you? Benadryl is for babies. B. Baby

Nyquil is for newborns. N. Newborn.

I hope to God that nobody ever stumbles across this thread looking for child rearing advice.

Whiskey is for wee ones. W...

Codeine is for children.  C. Children


P is for Penis. For children.
2013-02-25 05:57:46 PM  
1 votes:

queezyweezel: lordargent: queezyweezel : Nyquil? What the hell is wrong with you? Benadryl is for babies. B. Baby

Nyquil is for newborns. N. Newborn.

I hope to God that nobody ever stumbles across this thread looking for child rearing advice.


Whiskey is for wee ones. W...
2013-02-25 05:35:33 PM  
1 votes:

sweeneytoad: Our little man is almost 6 months and hasn't slept all night. We also have the type of monitor that detects lack of movement after 20 seconds of stillness, to help with the SIDS thing.

/yes I'm paranoid
//also CPR trained in adult and infants
///would still love some real sleep


we had a person in our infant CPR class ask if she should use the mouth shields that we used on the practice dummies if she had to administer CPR to her baby.
Yes, if you don't know where your baby has been.
2013-02-25 05:32:33 PM  
1 votes:
Need Frank Gallagher the baby whisperer.
2013-02-25 05:30:04 PM  
1 votes:

Pair-o-Dice: billybobtoo: a shot of whiskey!  Thanks Mom...I am now a raging alcoholik...

Xanax. Makes me sleep like a baby. Not this baby, a generic baby.


Pair-o-Dice: billybobtoo: a shot of whiskey!  Thanks Mom...I am now a raging alcoholik...

Xanax. Makes me sleep like a baby. Not this baby, a generic baby.


Like a baby? So you wake up every couple hours crying with sh*t in your diaper?
2013-02-25 05:26:54 PM  
1 votes:
Put clothes in dryer.  Put baby in basket.  Put warm clothes on baby in basket.  Run next load in dryer with baby laying in basket on top of dryer while you sit in chairs watching baby on dryer in basket.  Baby sleep.  Use condom or nut cutting to prevent further complications.
2013-02-25 05:24:46 PM  
1 votes:

billybobtoo: a shot of whiskey!  Thanks Mom...I am now a raging alcoholik...


Xanax. Makes me sleep like a baby. Not this baby, a generic baby.
2013-02-25 05:13:58 PM  
1 votes:
www.nydailynews.com
Dr. Haviva Veler is the director of Weill Cornell's Pediatric Sleep Center and a pediatric pulmonologist at New York-Presbyterian's Komansky Center for Children's Health.

*shakes head*

 I read that as Valveeta.
2013-02-25 05:11:26 PM  
1 votes:
Haley Rivera hasn't slept through the night since she was born 18 months ago.
Neither has her mom or dad.


Well that is bad parenting.  Coffee for one; tiny ear plugs for the other and switch every couple nights.
2013-02-25 05:10:55 PM  
1 votes:
I've never understood that, ok, we're gonna tape a bunch of shiat and tubes to your face, ok, niiiighty. I understand it serves a purpose, you'd just think they would somehow simplify it.
2013-02-25 05:09:57 PM  
1 votes:

The My Little Pony Killer: namegoeshere: queezyweezel: brap: Well maybe if that baby hadn't done so much got damned COCAINE she wouldn't have a deviated septum.  Had a similar issue with brap jr. until we started bottle feeding him Nyquil.

Nyquil?  What the hell is wrong with you?  Benadryl is for babies.  B.  Baby.

Never EVER drug a baby to sleep with OTC medecines!

That's what whiskey is for.

I though the whiskey was for teething. Are you trying to say that gently shaking them to sleep is wrong?


You're only supposed to give them liquor if they have the croup! Or colic, or the jimmy legs, or...
2013-02-25 05:03:48 PM  
1 votes:
The morning of my first day home (also as a Bronx newborn) my parents woke up at 8am in the morning and ran to my crib thinking I was dead. I was just sleeping. I never had a problem sleeping as a baby.

Still don't.
2013-02-25 04:19:37 PM  
1 votes:
I heard there's nothing duct tape can't fix.  Try using that?
2013-02-25 04:10:49 PM  
1 votes:

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: I have not slept for 18 months either because that would be too long.


my girlfriend works at hooters. in the kitchen.
 
Displayed 37 of 37 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report