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(Huffington Post)   The reviews are in, and not only is Seth McFarlane near universally considered to be the worst Oscars host ever, but it also looks like he killed his chances of ever again getting a date   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 371
    More: Fail, Seth MacFarlane, Josh Brolin, pick up lines, Tom Rothman  
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15636 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 25 Feb 2013 at 9:32 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-25 11:02:47 AM
Didn't see it but the guy writes cartoons aimed at 12 year old boys for farks sake. What kind of humor were they expecting?
 
2013-02-25 11:05:10 AM

FarFarAway: DamnYankees: Yeah, it wasn't good. There was a serious lack of confidence about the whole thing, and many of his jokes were just being a dick for the sake of being a dick. You don't make a joke about George Clooney banging a 9 year old when she's sitting right there. You make that joke at a George Clooney roast, not when the girl is sitting in the audience.


Good thing he didn't actually make a joke about banging a nine year old, then.
 
2013-02-25 11:05:18 AM
An anal gland in a suit.
 
2013-02-25 11:05:20 AM
I thought there were too many references to the Golden Globes, though the Tommy Lee Jones joke was enjoyable to me.

I thought the Kirk sequence went a little long, and the closing song was a bit flat. But the singing and dancing prior to that was very nice! Watching actors pull off some old school light entertainment in the middle of an overly hallowed event was fun. I feel like I'm supposed to dislike Channing Tatum, but I can't manage to do it.

I enjoyed the Sound of Music reference. It's about the movie, not the nazis. It's a perfect integration of his referential humor from any of his other projects.

The Mark/Ted presenter part seemed lame.

Catherine Zeta Jones continues to be hot. Was hoping to see John Reilly. My 20 year old wants to see Chicago now that he's learned Mr. Reilly appears. It reminds of when he got a Guitar Hero game and came to our room asking if we've heard of a band called Black Sabbath. He's too young to like what I like for the same reasons, but we have our moments.

The Jaws playout music was a nice touch. The Lincoln joke was great! Perhpas not the right room, but it was the first joke to bring me close to a spit take.

I expected some of his jokes to offend feminists, or at least give writers who ride feminism to a paycheck something to write about. He's practilly giving them a paycheck, so why whine? The Oscars is big enough that bloggers and writers are compelled to draw some social relevancy in a bunch of jokes. McFarland's jokes about wmen are never going to end up on Gloria Steinham's tombstone. But they usually come out of characters no one should be modeling their behavior from. I never minded the gay jokes from Silent Bob and Jay, because it made them look dumb, not homosexuals.

Did you know McFarland is producing a new version of Cosmos for Fox, and he bought and donated all Sagan's papers? It adds a lot to my perception of him.
 
2013-02-25 11:07:05 AM

rickythepenguin: "i really had to go dark places for this role, it was emotionally taxing, and only with my incredible courage was i able to channel my darkest rage to create such a wonderful performance" type quotes.  like, these dopey, self congratulatory, dramatic quotes about acting.


Yeah.
Guys like S L Jackson show up on time, know their lines, do their thing (most excellently) then go home.

This chick is an AW Drama Queen.
 
2013-02-25 11:07:23 AM

HotIgneous Intruder: An anal gland in a suit.


I have a gland in my anus? News to me. Regarding McFarlane, if it's possible to be too smug for show business, he is.
 
2013-02-25 11:08:35 AM

taxandspend: but Seth's get the edge because unlike NPH, Seth is a bottom.


Hang out at some of the same bath houses do you?
 
2013-02-25 11:08:39 AM

Nabb1: Whoever wrote that worked very, very hard to be offended.


No shiat. "Domestic violence is not like dating, Seth".  Um...never has the "That's The Joke" pic been more needed.
 
2013-02-25 11:10:23 AM
Any man banging Khalessi has nothing to prove.
 
2013-02-25 11:12:33 AM
My hate for Family Guy burns with the heat of a thousand suns so I'm getting a kick.
 
kab
2013-02-25 11:13:08 AM

DamnYankees: The real question is why we aren't discussing the now-infamous Onion tweet post. People seem very upset about that.


The Oscars = trophy ceremonies for viewers who need their cinematic opinions validated.
 
2013-02-25 11:14:25 AM

stonicus: You really think the host writes all the jokes and/or has carte blanche to say or do anything they like?


I think for a show that has everything planned to the second like the Oscars, I'm pretty sure they have to approve the script and anything he says or does. Then again, it's live.
 
2013-02-25 11:15:19 AM

farkingnotworking: Moopy Mac: DamnYankees: Bruce Campbell: They did know who they were hiring to host, didn't they?  That is his entire shtick so what did they honestly expect?

I'm not sure what this has to do anything. We expected him to be tasteless and bad so we can't criticize him for being tasteless and bad?

You think that Clooney joke was about him having sex with a 9 year old? Really, that's what you got out of it?

No, the point is that is what the 9 year old girl probably got out of it.  "Congratulations on a great acting job! We aren't giving you an award, but let's make sure you feel like millions of people watching tv are thinking about you naked right now!  Good luck with your future self esteem, sweetie."


Whoa. Paging Dr. Freud. I don't you realize how much you revealed about yourself just now. (Psst: no one else but you was thinking about her naked).
 
2013-02-25 11:16:04 AM

A Terrible Human: NO,fark NO. McFarlane can stay right the fark away from Archer.



in fairness to him, they do a fair amount of flashbacks. the shows really aren't that unlike.  adult humor, sly jokes, gross out humor. 

not saying i want him to guest write archer, i just don't think it would be bad.
 
2013-02-25 11:17:11 AM

farkingnotworking: Moopy Mac: DamnYankees: Bruce Campbell: They did know who they were hiring to host, didn't they?  That is his entire shtick so what did they honestly expect?

I'm not sure what this has to do anything. We expected him to be tasteless and bad so we can't criticize him for being tasteless and bad?

You think that Clooney joke was about him having sex with a 9 year old? Really, that's what you got out of it?

No, the point is that is what the 9 year old girl probably got out of it.  "Congratulations on a great acting job! We aren't giving you an award, but let's make sure you feel like millions of people watching tv are thinking about you naked right now!  Good luck with your future self esteem, sweetie."


How do you think she got the role in the first place? Two words: casting couch.
 
2013-02-25 11:17:43 AM

A Terrible Human: SlashW: I kinda want to see Seth McFarlane write one episode of Archer ...  just to see how weird it can get ..

NO,fark NO. McFarlane can stay right the fark away from Archer.


Yeah, Seth's second wave of cartoons have been hit or miss, he can stay the hell away from Archer.

/I like first gen Family Guy and American Dad is pretty good
//the other work though, not so much
 
2013-02-25 11:17:48 AM

A Terrible Human: SlashW: I kinda want to see Seth McFarlane write one episode of Archer ...  just to see how weird it can get ..

NO,fark NO. McFarlane can stay right the fark away from Archer.


I dunno, last week's Archer seemed to go out of its way to be more offensive than normal. :)

"I will never suck your taint!"
 
2013-02-25 11:18:05 AM

rickythepenguin: A Terrible Human: NO,fark NO. McFarlane can stay right the fark away from Archer.


in fairness to him, they do a fair amount of flashbacks. the shows really aren't that unlike.  adult humor, sly jokes, gross out humor. 

not saying i want him to guest write archer, i just don't think it would be bad.


the only real difference is that for Archer any flash back or joke done is accepted as show canon and will be maintained for continuity later.
 
2013-02-25 11:19:09 AM

eddiesocket: farkingnotworking: Moopy Mac: DamnYankees: Bruce Campbell: They did know who they were hiring to host, didn't they?  That is his entire shtick so what did they honestly expect?

I'm not sure what this has to do anything. We expected him to be tasteless and bad so we can't criticize him for being tasteless and bad?

You think that Clooney joke was about him having sex with a 9 year old? Really, that's what you got out of it?

No, the point is that is what the 9 year old girl probably got out of it.  "Congratulations on a great acting job! We aren't giving you an award, but let's make sure you feel like millions of people watching tv are thinking about you naked right now!  Good luck with your future self esteem, sweetie."

Whoa. Paging Dr. Freud. I don't you realize how much you revealed about yourself just now. (Psst: no one else but you was thinking about her naked).


Yeah, I think you have to be kinda warped to either think that immediately, or to think that's what a 9 year old is thinking.
 
2013-02-25 11:19:50 AM

thecpt: rickythepenguin: A Terrible Human: NO,fark NO. McFarlane can stay right the fark away from Archer.


in fairness to him, they do a fair amount of flashbacks. the shows really aren't that unlike.  adult humor, sly jokes, gross out humor. 

not saying i want him to guest write archer, i just don't think it would be bad.

the only real difference is that for Archer any flash back or joke done is accepted as show canon and will be maintained for continuity later.


And usually lasts a few seconds and doesn't involve someone saying OWWWWWW for a good minute.
 
2013-02-25 11:20:18 AM

FarFarAway: He has a disturbing habit of dating women from the same age range, even as he gets older and older.


It's only disturbing to people who can't always bang chicks in that age range.  Any straight dude that says he doesn't want to constantly have young, toned, smoking hot tail at his beck and call is lying.

Mind you I'm not talking about the "someone is tired of her shiat no matter how hot" because I guarantee you Clooney has 0 patience for shiat.  Dude could kick her out of bed and be balls deep in another POA before breakfast.

I, for one, applaud that man for having the sense to always bang hotties and never get attached to them in a way that would affect his wallet or his lifestyle.
 
2013-02-25 11:21:18 AM
I didn't think any of McFarland's jokes were as tone-deaf as having the orchestra play the theme to Gone With the Wind as Tarentino finished up his accepetance speech for Django Unchained.
 
2013-02-25 11:21:19 AM
for all you Seth MacFarlane haters:

The 2013 show was the highest rated Oscars since 2007′s 27.7/42 when Ellen DeGeneres hosted.
 
2013-02-25 11:21:56 AM
"'Django' is a movie where a woman is subjected to violence, or as we call it, a  date move.""Domestic violence is not like dating, Seth."That's the point, you overly-sensitive, moronic Huff-Po douchebag.
 
2013-02-25 11:22:29 AM

kab: The Oscars = trophy ceremonies for viewers who need their cinematic opinions validated.



i usually watch the oscars, despite rarely seeing any of the movies nominated.  this year, i saw more nominated movies (argo, lincoln, django, one or two others i can't remember) but didn't really watch the oscars.

i thought argo was farking awesome but django far more enjoyable.  but i guess as the cliche goes, "oscar loves drama and hates comedy".  and while django won't be on Comedy Central anytime soon, there are some overt "this scene is for laughs" moments.

like the scene where a group of men get together (vague to avoid spoiler, but even if i said what it was, it wouldn't be a spoiler) and they start in with their costumes, i recognized the humor pretty quickly and I was laughing my ass off.  i notice da few people looking at me like, "hey asshole, this is a drama" and then 2-3 minutes later, everyone in the theater is laughing their asses off.
 
2013-02-25 11:22:49 AM

SlothB77: for all you Seth MacFarlane haters:

The 2013 show was the highest rated Oscars since 2007′s 27.7/42 when Ellen DeGeneres hosted.


And McDonalds sells a lot of hamburgers.
 
2013-02-25 11:23:03 AM

SlothB77: for all you Seth MacFarlane haters:

The 2013 show was the highest rated Oscars since 2007′s 27.7/42 when Ellen DeGeneres hosted.


Another score for funny chicks who are into other chicks?
 
2013-02-25 11:23:55 AM

SlothB77: for all you Seth MacFarlane haters:

The 2013 show was the highest rated Oscars since 2007′s 27.7/42 when Ellen DeGeneres hosted.


seven forty-seconds of a tenth?
 
2013-02-25 11:24:38 AM

SlothB77: for all you Seth MacFarlane haters:

The 2013 show was the highest rated Oscars since 2007′s 27.7/42 when Ellen DeGeneres hosted.


Looks like he'll be back, unless the old farts running the Oscars oppose it.

Seriously, it was hit and miss - like almost every Oscars. MacFarlane wasn't helped by some atrocious writing and bad decisions by the producers. That being said, he didn't really help himself when things weren't going so great (see the interminable opening monologue, which stopped being funny halfway through and cratered during the boobs song).

If he hosts again, I'll give him another shot.
 
2013-02-25 11:26:35 AM

DamnYankees: FarFarAway: He wasn't making a joke about George Clooney banging a 9 year old. I can't believe so many people didn't get that one. He said that in 16 years she would be old enough to date Clooney. It was a swipe at Clooney's consistent habit of dating 25 year old women, no matter how old he gets. It said nothing about, and had nothing to do with, dating underage girls.

I understood the joke. It's not a bad joke. But its not one you make in front of the girl. And I'm not remotely squeamish about that kind of humor, I just didn't find it all that funny.


So date=sex to you.  Good to know.
 
2013-02-25 11:28:46 AM

thecpt: he only real difference is that for Archer any flash back or joke done is accepted as show canon and will be maintained for continuity later.



is it not for Family Guy?  i don't really watch that anymore.  i like it, but it is just the kind of show where, if i happen to find it, i'll watch it, but i don't DVR it.  it kinda lost its fastball for me a few years ago.  dunno.

(although I freaking laughed my farking ass off at 'ted')

/csb:  i saw ted with the wife one day, afterwards, she's like, "i thought adam carolla was in it."  i'm like, "no, he's voiced on Family Guy which is by McFarlane, and they're friends, as he's been on Carolla's podcasta  few times, but no, adam carolla was not part of 'Ted'."  and the very next morning i'm at the airport, and I run into carolla (almost literally) at the airport.  Gto to talk to him for maybe 10 minutes, got a few laughs out of him.  later texted my wife, "holy shiat, how odd is that?  saturday i'm talking about adam carolla, sunday morning I'm talking to adam carolla!"

//csb 2:  the next day's podcast, the little show write up was like, "adam recounts an unpleasant moment at the phoenix airport...."  i thought he would rant about some asshole fan that chewed his ear for ten boring minutes but instead, it was about how the airport farked up the terminal, which is what happened to me, which is also why i got to talk to him for 10 minutes.  we both had to walk to the "wrong" terminal, then walk back.  anyways.
 
2013-02-25 11:29:12 AM

JusticeandIndependence: DamnYankees: FarFarAway: He wasn't making a joke about George Clooney banging a 9 year old. I can't believe so many people didn't get that one. He said that in 16 years she would be old enough to date Clooney. It was a swipe at Clooney's consistent habit of dating 25 year old women, no matter how old he gets. It said nothing about, and had nothing to do with, dating underage girls.

I understood the joke. It's not a bad joke. But its not one you make in front of the girl. And I'm not remotely squeamish about that kind of humor, I just didn't find it all that funny.

So date=sex to you.  Good to know.


Well, only if you take them to White Castle.
 
2013-02-25 11:29:49 AM

Alphax: Article seemed butthurt.


Not anywhere to the level of Subby, however.
 
DGS [TotalFark]
2013-02-25 11:34:01 AM
I enjoyed the show and Seth as a host. I'd be glad to see him back.
 
2013-02-25 11:37:45 AM
The author doesn't like the way Seth eats crackers.
 
2013-02-25 11:38:13 AM
The reviews are in, and not only is Seth McFarlane near universally considered to be the worst Oscars host ever

No, I won't have that!

There's an Oscar host in Eastborne...
 
2013-02-25 11:38:35 AM

rickythepenguin: thecpt: he only real difference is that for Archer any flash back or joke done is accepted as show canon and will be maintained for continuity later.


is it not for Family Guy?  i don't really watch that anymore.  i like it, but it is just the kind of show where, if i happen to find it, i'll watch it, but i don't DVR it.  it kinda lost its fastball for me a few years ago.  dunno.

(although I freaking laughed my farking ass off at 'ted')

/csb:  i saw ted with the wife one day, afterwards, she's like, "i thought adam carolla was in it."  i'm like, "no, he's voiced on Family Guy which is by McFarlane, and they're friends, as he's been on Carolla's podcasta  few times, but no, adam carolla was not part of 'Ted'."  and the very next morning i'm at the airport, and I run into carolla (almost literally) at the airport.  Gto to talk to him for maybe 10 minutes, got a few laughs out of him.  later texted my wife, "holy shiat, how odd is that?  saturday i'm talking about adam carolla, sunday morning I'm talking to adam carolla!"

//csb 2:  the next day's podcast, the little show write up was like, "adam recounts an unpleasant moment at the phoenix airport...."  i thought he would rant about some asshole fan that chewed his ear for ten boring minutes but instead, it was about how the airport farked up the terminal, which is what happened to me, which is also why i got to talk to him for 10 minutes.  we both had to walk to the "wrong" terminal, then walk back.  anyways.


Man. No offense, but I was really hoping your story would end with Adam ranting on his podcast about some a-hole talking his ear off at the airport.
 
2013-02-25 11:40:50 AM
When they tried to appeal to the younger demo a couple years ago with the disaster that was James Franco (Anne Hathaway wasn't too bad), I thought Justin Timberlake would have been a much better choice.  I'm not really a fan and not too familiar with his work, but based on SNL and interviews I've run across, I think he'd do a great job.
 
2013-02-25 11:40:58 AM

FitzShivering: eddiesocket: farkingnotworking: Moopy Mac: DamnYankees: Bruce Campbell: They did know who they were hiring to host, didn't they?  That is his entire shtick so what did they honestly expect?

I'm not sure what this has to do anything. We expected him to be tasteless and bad so we can't criticize him for being tasteless and bad?

You think that Clooney joke was about him having sex with a 9 year old? Really, that's what you got out of it?

No, the point is that is what the 9 year old girl probably got out of it.  "Congratulations on a great acting job! We aren't giving you an award, but let's make sure you feel like millions of people watching tv are thinking about you naked right now!  Good luck with your future self esteem, sweetie."

Whoa. Paging Dr. Freud. I don't you realize how much you revealed about yourself just now. (Psst: no one else but you was thinking about her naked).

Yeah, I think you have to be kinda warped to either think that immediately, or to think that's what a 9 year old is thinking.


Maybe. Though having once been a nine year old girl, and having endured a similar joke at my expense from one of my dad's friends at that age, i can say with great confidence that such a fear would not be entirely out of character at that age.
 
2013-02-25 11:41:32 AM

rickythepenguin: is it not for Family Guy?


no.  Once they flash all bets are off.  Otherwise Peter would have died a couple hundred times.  Once they flash everything should be considered as character joking.  As for Archer, if they flash to him getting a tattoo, you will see that on him every time afterwards.
 
2013-02-25 11:42:08 AM
I thought he had some marvelous bits. The Flying Nun thing was bizarrely funny and the sock-puppet re-creation of Flight was genius. The Chris Brown / Rihanna joke was offensive, but richly deserved. On the other hand, Seth needed an editor. Shatner's bit went on too long, for example, and other material didn't work. If I had been in charge, I would have cut the "boobs" song. I might have let him keep it in if it had been witty, ala Cole Porter, but it wasn't. It was just juvenile. The Mel Gibson joke? Just tired. There was a time when it would have been a funny reference, but that time has passed. The John Wilkes Booth joke? Wrong audience.

But of course he wasn't the worst host ever. Nobody will ever take that title from Franco. That's safer than Cy Young's record of 749 complete games. Oh, sure, you could name some douchebags who would actually be worse hypothetically, like (let's say) Donald Trump, but nobody who could actually be considered for the job could do worse.

I'd go farther than that. Remember Rhinestone, the Dolly Parton movie where she bets that she can turn the next asshole she sees into a country singer, and that asshole happens to be Rocky Rambo Balboa? Well, I'll bet that you could pick some random person off the streets and, with a month of coaching, turn him or her into a better Oscar host than Franco.

Unless you happened to pick Donald Trump.
 
2013-02-25 11:45:50 AM

Mugato: Ricky Gervais  was a much bigger dick at the Golden Globes and everyone thinks he's a genius.


If McFarlane had gone full-jerk, everyone would have been more comfortable with his jokes. Instead, he was the almost-sweet kinda-jerk, confusing the audience.
 
2013-02-25 11:46:11 AM

farkingnotworking: FitzShivering: eddiesocket: farkingnotworking: Moopy Mac: DamnYankees: Bruce Campbell: They did know who they were hiring to host, didn't they?  That is his entire shtick so what did they honestly expect?

I'm not sure what this has to do anything. We expected him to be tasteless and bad so we can't criticize him for being tasteless and bad?

You think that Clooney joke was about him having sex with a 9 year old? Really, that's what you got out of it?

No, the point is that is what the 9 year old girl probably got out of it.  "Congratulations on a great acting job! We aren't giving you an award, but let's make sure you feel like millions of people watching tv are thinking about you naked right now!  Good luck with your future self esteem, sweetie."

Whoa. Paging Dr. Freud. I don't you realize how much you revealed about yourself just now. (Psst: no one else but you was thinking about her naked).

Yeah, I think you have to be kinda warped to either think that immediately, or to think that's what a 9 year old is thinking.

Maybe. Though having once been a nine year old girl, and having endured a similar joke at my expense from one of my dad's friends at that age, i can say with great confidence that such a fear would not be entirely out of character at that age.


The joke was not at QW's expense. It wasn't even about her. No one even mentioned sex or farking or anything. It was a joke about Clooney being a hound who dates 18-20 yr olds, not 9 year olds. It's highly unlikely QW even got it. You're coming off as very disturbed.
 
2013-02-25 11:46:55 AM

eddiesocket: but I was really hoping your story would end with Adam ranting on his podcast about some a-hole talking his ear off at the airport.


i was half scared it would!  i had forgotten he was in town with the thing he does with the smart guy ("dennis kader" or whatever, it just doesn't interest me as that guy is annoying).

so i saw adam, and i did the thing he hates, where I go, "whoa, Aceman, HUGE fan, love the podcast!  What are you doing here?"  He literally winced.  He goes, "big fan, huh?  I did a show last night, but I guess you didn't know about that."

I recovered quickly with an excuse about how i couldn't get a babysitter, and then we just started talking and i made a few jokes that hopefully proved I wasn't kidding about the podcast.  like stuff he regularly references and shiat.  i gave him a "made up movie" title called "Fourth and Inches", but it is a good cop/bad cop movie about a football game.

but yeah.  when i saw that writeup i was like, "fark, he's going to go off on the 'huge fan' that didn't know why ace was in town...."
 
2013-02-25 11:47:30 AM

KidSock2004: Everybody's being pissed off about the "We Saw Your Boobs" song...

...and I'm just sitting here frantically writing down all the movie titles listed


Someone's done the dirty work and made a YouTube video for you / us.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiKcfwpF46M
 
2013-02-25 11:48:01 AM

thecpt: As for Archer, if they flash to him getting a tattoo, you will see that on him every time afterwards.


huh.  never noticed that.  on the other hand, IT IS A TV SHOW, RELAX.
 
2013-02-25 11:48:05 AM

dj_spanmaster: Mugato: Ricky Gervais  was a much bigger dick at the Golden Globes and everyone thinks he's a genius.

If McFarlane had gone full-jerk, everyone would have been more comfortable with his jokes. Instead, he was the almost-sweet kinda-jerk, confusing the audience.


Yeah, he was surprisingly deferential and clearly honored to be there.  People "offended" this morning have really had to work hard.
 
2013-02-25 11:49:40 AM
I've always thought Justin Timberlake would be a great choice for host.  Based on his SNL stints and what interviews and other award show appearances I've seen, the guy can be quite funny and handles the spotlight with ease.  It think the Franco disaster (Hathaway wasn't horrible but gets lumped in with him), a ploy to try to appeal to the younger demographic, caused them to overreact with Crystal the next year.   McFarlane was myeh and probably a failure as a host.  Timberlake could get the gen x/y/millenials without spooking the boomers too much, I think.  But what do I know.
 
2013-02-25 11:49:59 AM

theurge14: My hate for Family Guy burns with the heat of a thousand suns so I'm getting a kick.


why do you hate funny?
 
2013-02-25 11:50:34 AM
My only beef with the "Boobs" song is that it missed the obvious chance to rip on the actresses that won't show them because they "want to be taken seriously".  What better way to do that then a juvenile song about a shiat load of Oscar winners and nominees who have, in fact, shown their boobs?

Would have turned it from "juvenile" into a point that, it's not your boobs that keep you from being taken seriously but your lack of actual talent.
 
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