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(Yahoo)   Dear Abby: My adult granddaughters have rejected me, feeling uncomfortable with the way I rub their shoulders and necks   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 366
    More: Obvious, Abigail Van Buren, adult granddaughters, Jeanne Phillips, Pauline Phillips, grandfather  
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28236 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Feb 2013 at 10:53 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-25 09:23:07 AM  
Stay above the clavicle, grandpa.
 
2013-02-25 09:26:30 AM  
What's the big problem gramps?   When my now-16 yo niece turned 13 she started looking like a real woman and I stopped treating her like a little kid and went into guarded mode.  If she wants a hug, she can initiate it.  If she posts a cute pic on Facebook, I don't click like. Common sense stuff.

It's not about you.  Obviously they feel a bit creeped out about it, so show some real love and back off.
 
2013-02-25 09:40:24 AM  
I feel violated just from reading that guys letter.
 
2013-02-25 09:40:31 AM  
Is that you George?
 
2013-02-25 09:55:36 AM  
Pic of gramps:

s16.postimage.org
 
2013-02-25 09:55:59 AM  
It wasn't so much the rubbing of the shoulders Gramps. However the going over the top, cupping their breasts, giving them a squeeze & saying "wow, I can't believe how big you're getting...." was a bit much.  You should be receiving the restraining order any day now...
 
2013-02-25 10:00:57 AM  
The only change is in their perception of my actions.

And the march of time, and their maturity.
 
2013-02-25 10:05:04 AM  
Dear Abby: My teenage daughters have rejected me, feeling uncomfortable with the way I clean up after them when they urinate. I've been doing this since the day they were born, but suddenly they don't want anything to do with me. How do I throw away a family bond that has been cultivated for 13 years?
 
2013-02-25 10:54:35 AM  

Recoil Therapy: It wasn't so much the rubbing of the shoulders Gramps. However the going over the top, cupping their breasts, giving them a squeeze & saying "wow, I can't believe how big you're getting...." was a bit much.  You should be receiving the restraining order any day now...


*16candlesgrandmagrope.jpg
 
2013-02-25 10:58:40 AM  

jaylectricity: Dear Abby: My teenage daughters have rejected me, feeling uncomfortable with the way I clean up after them when they urinate. I've been doing this since the day they were born, but suddenly they don't want anything to do with me. How do I throw away a family bond that has been cultivated for 13 years?


FTFA:

These girls and both parents have misinterpreted my innocent expressions of affection, which haven't changed since the girls were little.

Yep, you nailed it.

Probably still wants to bounce them on his knee.  Liked it when they started getting slippery.
 
2013-02-25 11:00:44 AM  

Fano: Recoil Therapy: It wasn't so much the rubbing of the shoulders Gramps. However the going over the top, cupping their breasts, giving them a squeeze & saying "wow, I can't believe how big you're getting...." was a bit much.  You should be receiving the restraining order any day now...

*16candlesgrandmagrope.jpg


images.quickblogcast.com

I had completely forgotten about that scene when I wrote the above

I have a feeling though that Gramps is more like LDD than he'd like to admit...

3.bp.blogspot.com

/hot like the 16 year old Molly was to me at the time
//still pretty good from what I've seen
 
2013-02-25 11:00:45 AM  
i87.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-25 11:01:27 AM  
Dear Abby Dear Abby my Grandfather has nerve - He rubs up and down us like some kind of perv
 
2013-02-25 11:01:42 AM  
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-25 11:01:59 AM  
Isn't Dear Abby six feet under?
 
2013-02-25 11:02:04 AM  
Damn gramps.
 
2013-02-25 11:03:01 AM  
Rub'n the shoulders then hips and a peck on those lips.
Grandpa's needin sum lubbins.
 
2013-02-25 11:03:53 AM  
does anyone realize it's grandma not gramps that has the massage fetish and where does abby get off by say they need professional mediation. abby why not tell the stupid biatch to stop groping them and except the fact they don't want to be touched that way.
 
2013-02-25 11:06:15 AM  
I can sympathize. I was thrown out of my gym for taking pictures of teenage girls with my camera-pen. I just wanted to show those girls how beautiful they were. I'd post the pictures here, but I became so enraged for being kicked out, I threw was my pen and broke it.
 
2013-02-25 11:06:33 AM  
Suddenly, I am reminded of Joey Tribbiani's tailor.
 
2013-02-25 11:07:21 AM  
Dear Abby:

My kids say I'm crazy for writing a dead woman for advice.

What should I do?
 
2013-02-25 11:08:22 AM  
Creepy and old? Time to Renew!
 
2013-02-25 11:09:42 AM  

Amos Quito: Dear Abby:

My kids say I'm crazy for writing a dead woman for advice.

What should I do?


You realize her daughter took over the column years ago when she got Alzheimer's disease, right?  Next you're going to be shocked to hear that Jim Davis doesn't draw Garfield these days too.
 
x23
2013-02-25 11:10:34 AM  

rigamrts: does anyone realize it's grandma not gramps that has the massage fetish and where does abby get off by say they need professional mediation. abby why not tell the stupid biatch to stop groping them and except the fact they don't want to be touched that way.



what?

Loving Grandfather Is Hurt By Sudden Silent Treatment
DEAR ABBY: My two adult granddaughters have rejected me, their doting grandfather.
[...]
-- GRIEVING GRANDDAD
 
so yeah... i am kinda curious how you came to the conclusion it is actually the grandmother.
 
2013-02-25 11:10:45 AM  

rigamrts: does anyone realize it's grandma not gramps that has the massage fetish and where does abby get off by say they need professional mediation. abby why not tell the stupid biatch to stop groping them and except the fact they don't want to be touched that way.


Read the first line again, it was written by a their doting grandFATHER.  As far as I know, the old man didn't transgendered.
 
2013-02-25 11:14:18 AM  

Andromeda: Amos Quito: Dear Abby:

My kids say I'm crazy for writing a dead woman for advice.

What should I do?


You realize her daughter took over the column years ago when she got Alzheimer's disease, right?



Dear Abby's daughter has Alzheimer's?
 
2013-02-25 11:14:33 AM  
Dear Abby, how can you help me to convince them that I should be able to rub and touch them? Also, can you please give me validation by talking about how unreasonable they are being so that I can continue acting like an innocent old man who doesn't get it?
 
2013-02-25 11:15:16 AM  
Sounds like Gramps needs to stop giving them the "Sheila test".
 
2013-02-25 11:16:47 AM  

Amos Quito: Dear Abby's daughter has Alzheimer's?


Stupid pronouns, they get me every time.
 
2013-02-25 11:17:07 AM  
Dear Abby,

My lithe, nubile, sixteen-year-old niece no longer wants to take bubble baths with me, nor does she want me to play doctor with her anymore. I feel like we're growing apart. What can I do?
 
2013-02-25 11:19:16 AM  
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-25 11:19:21 AM  
Impossible to say from reading a tiny bit of one side. There are people out there who either just don't like any sort of contact, or even read something inappropriate into innocent gestures. Or gramps could be a perv.
 
2013-02-25 11:20:25 AM  
I saw an old dude at my church do this to our (female) priest yesterday.  When your priest squirms away and tells you she doesn't need her shoulders rubbed, you know it's awkward.
 
2013-02-25 11:21:32 AM  
When my niece was young, I treated her like a kid. She'd sit on my lap, lean against me, etc. Now that she's 12, we don't do that anymore. Perhaps 12 is a child still to a grandfather, but you should know that to a 12-year-old, perspective has changed.
 
2013-02-25 11:22:33 AM  
Why can't some grandfathers just go fishing, watching the price its right and giving their grandchildren booze

/I had one of the best grandfathers ever
 
2013-02-25 11:22:36 AM  
An uncle I can see, but grandfather is just creepy.
 
2013-02-25 11:23:01 AM  
That would make me uncomfortable too. Don't farking touch me . I don't care who you are.
 
2013-02-25 11:23:10 AM  

Skirl Hutsenreiter: I saw an old dude at my church do this to our (female) priest yesterday.  When your priest squirms away and tells you she doesn't need her shoulders rubbed, you know it's awkward.


Awkward or sexy? There's a fine line, you know
 
2013-02-25 11:23:41 AM  
Dear Askance: I work above a grocery store. At night, we borrow their carts (with their blessing) in order to help us take our garbage out in one trip.

ALWAYS WASH YOUR PRODUCE BEFORE YOU EAT IT.

Thanks, TMLPK
 
2013-02-25 11:26:25 AM  
Gramps,

There are plenty of 20-something women out there  with daddy issues who would be more than willing to be your jolly-dolly, in exchange for a little sugar. Lets give that a spin for a while, and maybe you won't be such a perv around the fam...m'Kay?

Abby
 
2013-02-25 11:26:27 AM  
*Bounce *Bounce* *Bounce*..."Uh oh. Ok, honey. You have to get off of Grandpa's lap for a little while. We have to take a short break."
 
2013-02-25 11:26:58 AM  

weave: What's the big problem gramps?   When my now-16 yo niece turned 13 she started looking like a real woman and I stopped treating her like a little kid and went into guarded mode.  If she wants a hug, she can initiate it.  If she posts a cute pic on Facebook, I don't click like. Common sense stuff.


Obviously you need to respect what other people are comfortable with, but it sounds like you're afraid to hug your family members lest you be deemed a sexual predator, and that's a sad reflection on the state of our society.
 
2013-02-25 11:27:19 AM  

No Time To Explain: Why can't some grandfathers just go fishing, watching the price its right and giving their grandchildren booze

/I had one of the best grandfathers ever


Did your Grandpa teach you to cuss?  Because my grandfather did all of the above listed things and taught us to cuss.  But NEVER in front of our grandmother.  Sometimes he would let us have a cigarette, too.
 
2013-02-25 11:29:15 AM  
They found out gramps is a convicted sexual predator from the internet.
 
2013-02-25 11:29:43 AM  
awwwwwwwkward.
 
2013-02-25 11:30:06 AM  

jaylectricity: Stay above the clavicle, grandpa.


And below the knees!
 
2013-02-25 11:31:07 AM  
It seems to me like, when people get older, they just don't care anymore about certain things, and more about others. Kind of like, "I love my grandkids, and I want to hug them and be close to them. Phooey on being reserved, that's just silly. When you get old, you understand what's important in life, and value your family and the time you get to be with them." I honestly don't think the grandfather in this story means badly, I think it's just that kind of perspective.
 
2013-02-25 11:31:09 AM  

Virtuoso80: When my niece was young, I treated her like a kid. She'd sit on my lap, lean against me, etc. Now that she's 12, we don't do that anymore. Perhaps 12 is a child still to a grandfather, but you should know that to a 12-year-old, perspective has changed.


My oldest nephew is about half your niece's age (in your story, don't know about her IRL) and I allow him to be the one to initiate hugs now. He's a snuggly little guy. With his little brother (around 20 months) I go by body language, but I think it's just important for kids to understand that they do have rights to their bodies and don't need to submit just because some adult wants a hug.
 
2013-02-25 11:31:14 AM  

Amos Quito: Andromeda: Amos Quito: Dear Abby:

My kids say I'm crazy for writing a dead woman for advice.

What should I do?


You realize her daughter took over the column years ago when she got Alzheimer's disease, right?


Dear Abby's daughter has Alzheimer's?


that would make for some fantastic advice .
 
2013-02-25 11:33:03 AM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: Dear Abby, how can you help me to convince them that I should be able to rub and touch them? Also, can you please give me validation by talking about how unreasonable they are being so that I can continue acting like an innocent old man who doesn't get it?


I don't think that is what he is complaining about.  I think he complaining due to the fact they never asked him to stop yet completely abandoned him.  I can fully understand where he is coming from.  You have a little girl that likes to throw her arms around you to get a hug, likes being picked up, or snuggling every time she see's you.  You become so used to the behavior it becomes a huge shock when all of a sudden out of the blue it is completely unwelcome because you still see her as that same little girl.  However, massaging is a little weird in "US" society.
 
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