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(The Sun)   Tan Mom, banned from every tanning salon in her home state of New Jersey, plans to beat ban by moving to London (w/pics)   (thesun.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Followup, New Jersey, school nurse  
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27968 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Feb 2013 at 10:16 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-02-24 09:02:49 PM  
4 votes:
"All I do is cry and cry and cry and I think the only way out of this dreadful existence is to flee as far away as possible.

"no matter where you go, there you are".
2013-02-24 11:03:58 PM  
3 votes:
1. She looks like one large melanoma.
2. She said: "They told me it was bad and tanning beds cause cancer. But I've been using them for years and never got cancer, so what do they know?"
My dad smoked, used carcinogenic chemicals at work, and had exposure to asbestos. He made similar comments before his lung cancer diagnosis, but no longer made those comments between his diagnosis and death.

I used to open hot radiators for customers when I worked in a gas station. So one day my car overheated, and I gave myself a 3rd degree burn opening the radiator before it cooled. Now I know that I, too, am moral.


Sooner Or Later -- With apologies to The Grass Roots
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna get ya
Sooner or later, girl you got to give in
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna let ya
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna win
Its just a matter of time
Before you make up your mind
To give all that cancer that you've been hiding
Its just a question of when
I've told you time and again
I'll get all the cancer you've been denying
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna get ya
Sooner or later, girl you got to give in
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna let ya
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna win
You say you'll never be mine
But darling they'll come a time
I'll taste all that cancer that you've been hiding
Its just a question of time
Before you make up your mind
And give all that cancer you've been denying
You've been looking for cancer
In all the wrong places
You've been looking for cancer
All the wrong faces
Gotta get ya girl
On this illusion
Gonna save your heart
From all this confusion
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna get ya
Sooner or later, girl you got to give in
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna let ya
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna win
cancer is gonna win
Its just a matter of time
Before you make up your mind
And give all the cancer that you've been hiding
Its just a question of when
Told you time and again
I'll get all the cancer you've been denying
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna get ya
Sooner or later, girl you got to give in
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna let ya
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna win
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna get ya
Sooner or later, girl you got to give in
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna let ya
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna win
2013-02-24 10:38:44 PM  
3 votes:

namatad: KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!

and wouldnt it be cheaper and easier to buy a home tanning bed??
LOL


Because if she bought a tanning bed, she wouldn't be able to attention whore.

Even funnier, she thinks she can escape mockery and snide comments in the UK.  The people I know over there would pounce on her like a cat, but not quite kill her so they could bat her body around for an hour or two to amuse themselves.
2013-02-24 10:38:02 PM  
3 votes:
After reading that article, two things continue to boggle my mind:

1) Somebody married and supports that thing
2) She says she can't sunbathe B/C the winter's too cold in Jersey...so she's moving to London

i.qkme.me
2013-02-24 10:27:58 PM  
3 votes:
"It has also heaped torment on her other children Ashley, 19, Alec, 18, Austin, 16, and four-year-old Addison, who have faced harrassment and bullying at school and in their neighbourhood."


You mean if your Mom is a complete dumb-ass it may have consequences on you? Who would have hunk it?
2013-02-24 10:21:02 PM  
3 votes:
If she is that addicted to tanning wouldn't it make sense to just buy her own tanning bed?
2013-02-24 10:18:44 PM  
3 votes:
image.shutterstock.com

Mahogany is not a skin tone, damn it.
What does she use as tanning lotion? Lemon Pledge?
2013-02-24 09:35:52 PM  
3 votes:
KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!

and wouldnt it be cheaper and easier to buy a home tanning bed??
LOL
2013-02-24 07:49:55 PM  
3 votes:
The occasional rare mummified corpse aside, I did not realize a white woman could turn that color and not become a corpse herself.
2013-02-25 12:38:33 AM  
2 votes:

gregscott: mortal. Need edit here on fark... I never see my typos until after I submit.


Or use the preview button. You can edit from there.
2013-02-25 12:14:00 AM  
2 votes:
'Docs said sunbeds cause cancer, but what do they know'

Um.. they know it causes cancer, so enjoy having your body covered with scars from your many melanoma removals.
2013-02-24 11:24:33 PM  
2 votes:
Where's CPS?

She let her red haired, fair skinned minor daughter use a tanning bed. Research has shown that pre-adolescent sunburns increase the chances of SJN cancers later in life. She's actively trying to give her daughter cancer.

/tanned like the dickens in '70s and '80s when we didn't know better. Burnt often as a kid.
//get every strange growth examined or removed when it appears
///!CSB
2013-02-24 10:50:17 PM  
2 votes:
Why do British papers make up quotes from people? Have you seen "tan mom" interviewed on TV? Do the "quotes" in this piece sound like an uneducated woman from New Jersey said them?
2013-02-24 10:43:30 PM  
2 votes:

skullkrusher: she is straight up Jersey trash and she's talking about her "garden" and referring to herself as a "mum" and talking about her "dreadful" existence? This woman did not say those words.


Yeah, The Sun probably translated her dialect into chav. It's not like we're dealing with a paragon of journalistic integrity here.
2013-02-24 10:36:31 PM  
2 votes:
Moving to Britain so she can tan because she's banned in all the salons here?  Wouldnt it be easier to just buy your own tanning bed?
2013-02-24 10:31:13 PM  
2 votes:
If she doesn't want her own tanning bed, wouldn't maybe moving someplace like Arizona work better?  Or Philadelphia.  I hear it's always sunny in Philadelphia.
2013-02-24 10:24:25 PM  
2 votes:
On behalf of the USA, I would like to go ahead and proactively apologize to the Brits for the money your tax payers will spend on her healthcare (leading up to her death from cancer) and the subsequent cost of raising her daughter after she's gone...
2013-02-24 10:22:41 PM  
2 votes:
Tan Mo-

gifrific.com
2013-02-25 10:57:48 AM  
1 vote:

BigNumber12: namatad: KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!


Clearly she absorbs those attacks. Try Ice.


I lol'd hard on that one. Bravo, sir!
2013-02-25 10:17:48 AM  
1 vote:

BigNumber12: namatad: KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!


Clearly she absorbs those attacks. Try Ice.


I may have just snerked my lunch all over the keyboard, you magnificent bastard.
2013-02-25 09:08:55 AM  
1 vote:
itstimetostoptoasting.jpg
2013-02-25 03:15:20 AM  
1 vote:

KrispyKritter: skullkrusher: "It's freezing cold here in New Jersey during winter so I cannot spend any time sunbathing in my garden."

Yeah, I totally believe that this woman from New farking Jersey is referring to her backyard as her "garden".

Ignorance is bliss, moran. New Jersey is "The Garden State". Wow did your Momma raise a fool.

Foxxinnia: When I think of a place that's less of a nanny state than New Jersey, the first place that comes to mind is England.

Just because you toss the salads of diseased street urchins in front of children on their way to school is no reason to sling insult. The citizens of New Jersey just have morals and values. Remember them? They're what you gave up when you were 12 and started doing anal for nickels.

ISO15693: There you go, London. Your challenge is to seem more educated and less small minded than new jersey.

In addition to some of the countries finest public schools New Jersey has over 65 Colleges and Universities. And there is no lack of bright minds from The Garden State that have greatly contributed to most every field of science, medicine, the arts, inventions, etcetera. When you project your own lack of personality, education, contribution and that terribly low self-esteem you suffer from towards others it mirrors what a pathetic POS you are as a representative of San Jose CA. Now get back to work, you have at least a dozen more stray dogs to blow before your shift is over.


And all of that was undone with the advent of "Jersey Shore". You can put pearls on a pig and polish a turd, but you cannot unmake that shiatfest blight upon humanity.
2013-02-25 12:40:52 AM  
1 vote:
"It's freezing cold here in New Jersey during winter so I cannot spend any time sunbathing in my garden.

She does know, that it's actually quite easy to tan/burn in the winter, right? Just get some cardboard/wood, aluminum foil, and set it up in a reflective pattern and lay in the middle of it.
2013-02-25 12:23:14 AM  
1 vote:

AndreMA: quatchi: Yes, I do realize she is mentally ill and that that's not funny but this *is* Fark so there's no way she gets let off the hook completely.

Balance in all things.

How immediate does "danger to self" have to be for involuntary commitment?


There's the rub, skin cancer takes time to develop.

If I were her hubby (Thank the FSM I'm not, just saying) I would have at least tried to have her committed long ago.

If that didn't work plan B would have been divorce and making sure I got the kids.

/Yes, I realize the difficulty there, just saying.
2013-02-25 12:19:33 AM  
1 vote:
She was on Howard Stern a few months ago. Her voice is incredibly annoying and after hearing her speak you'd swear she was a bit "slow".
2013-02-24 11:28:47 PM  
1 vote:
I can't get in, but Tan Mom can?  I'm not even sure I'd associate with you anymore, GB.
2013-02-24 11:15:47 PM  
1 vote:

dopirt: skullkrusher: Real Women Drink Akvavit: skullkrusher: Sheseala: I somehow avoided this story, was she making the redhead tan??

daughter was sunburned and someone said that the kid said she got burned from a tanning bed. Who the fark knows. This woman is a psycho but this article is a load of horseshiat

Having had the misfortune of hearing her speak for a news interview attempt and now reading that article makes me agree. Unless she has a very interesting case of multiple personality disorder.

/well, that and having seen many Sun articles before makes me agree...

she is straight up Jersey trash and she's talking about her "garden" and referring to herself as a "mum" and talking about her "dreadful" existence? This woman did not say those words.

Get over it. Have you ever seen "Honey Boo Boo," and how they have subtitles?  This is the same thing. They are translating whatever she uttered into their readership's vernacular.


The only show.where its acceptable is Moonshiners. The reason why Honey Boo Boo can't speak properly is because its 'cute' and her ham beast mother keeps.eating the teachers.
2013-02-24 11:14:28 PM  
1 vote:

Lidocaine: On behalf of the USA, I would like to go ahead and proactively apologize to the Brits for the money your tax payers will spend on her healthcare (leading up to her death from cancer) and the subsequent cost of raising her daughter after she's gone...


Umm, yeah... They're not going to let her move there.
2013-02-24 11:10:25 PM  
1 vote:
I'm glad she's emigrating to GB. Let THEIR socialized medicine pay for her melanoma treatments.
2013-02-24 11:08:17 PM  
1 vote:
pics.drugstore.com
Is this the tanning lotion she plans to market? If so, already been done.
2013-02-24 10:56:55 PM  
1 vote:
"I never felt tanning was doing me any harm and love looking like I'm just back from vacation."


Where the fark is she holidaying, the 7th circle of hell?  The heart of Betelgeuse?  That skin colour doesn't occur in nature, she looks like she's rolled in creosote.  I hear Death Valley is nice this time of year, certainly gets a bit sunnier than Chingford.  Or Clacton-on-Sea.
2013-02-24 10:49:48 PM  
1 vote:

Lidocaine: On behalf of the USA, I would like to go ahead and proactively apologize to the Brits for the money your tax payers will spend on her healthcare (leading up to her death from cancer) and the subsequent cost of raising her daughter after she's gone...


Considering they've given us Piers Morgan, Simon Cowell and Gordon Ramsey; I think this is a fair trade.
2013-02-24 10:45:54 PM  
1 vote:

skullkrusher: Real Women Drink Akvavit: skullkrusher: Sheseala: I somehow avoided this story, was she making the redhead tan??

daughter was sunburned and someone said that the kid said she got burned from a tanning bed. Who the fark knows. This woman is a psycho but this article is a load of horseshiat

Having had the misfortune of hearing her speak for a news interview attempt and now reading that article makes me agree. Unless she has a very interesting case of multiple personality disorder.

/well, that and having seen many Sun articles before makes me agree...

she is straight up Jersey trash and she's talking about her "garden" and referring to herself as a "mum" and talking about her "dreadful" existence? This woman did not say those words.


Get over it. Have you ever seen "Honey Boo Boo," and how they have subtitles?  This is the same thing. They are translating whatever she uttered into their readership's vernacular.
2013-02-24 10:42:12 PM  
1 vote:

Real Women Drink Akvavit: skullkrusher: Sheseala: I somehow avoided this story, was she making the redhead tan??

daughter was sunburned and someone said that the kid said she got burned from a tanning bed. Who the fark knows. This woman is a psycho but this article is a load of horseshiat

Having had the misfortune of hearing her speak for a news interview attempt and now reading that article makes me agree. Unless she has a very interesting case of multiple personality disorder.

/well, that and having seen many Sun articles before makes me agree...


she is straight up Jersey trash and she's talking about her "garden" and referring to herself as a "mum" and talking about her "dreadful" existence? This woman did not say those words.
2013-02-24 10:40:38 PM  
1 vote:
She went black and is taking measures ensure she doesn't go back.
2013-02-24 10:39:37 PM  
1 vote:

skullkrusher: Sheseala: I somehow avoided this story, was she making the redhead tan??

daughter was sunburned and someone said that the kid said she got burned from a tanning bed. Who the fark knows. This woman is a psycho but this article is a load of horseshiat


Having had the misfortune of hearing her speak for a news interview attempt and now reading that article makes me agree. Unless she has a very interesting case of multiple personality disorder.

/well, that and having seen many Sun articles before makes me agree...
2013-02-24 10:34:27 PM  
1 vote:

Sheseala: I somehow avoided this story, was she making the redhead tan??


daughter was sunburned and someone said that the kid said she got burned from a tanning bed. Who the fark knows. This woman is a psycho but this article is a load of horseshiat
2013-02-24 10:24:44 PM  
1 vote:
Chavulous!
2013-02-24 10:24:42 PM  
1 vote:
she already looks british. Ugly and bad teeth. no prob fitting in.
 
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