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(The Sun)   Tan Mom, banned from every tanning salon in her home state of New Jersey, plans to beat ban by moving to London (w/pics)   (thesun.co.uk) divider line 185
    More: Followup, New Jersey, school nurse  
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27917 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Feb 2013 at 10:16 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-25 12:57:46 AM
"From an early age I associated being tanned with being pretty. I would spend hours sunbathing on the beach or in my garden. The darker I got, the prettier I felt.

She also needs an eye exam.

"To me, London is the perfect place. Nobody will know us and, unlike in New Jersey, I think people are more educated and less small-minded.

Unless you are such an attention whore that you tell the news media that you're moving... AND make sure it's in a British newspaper.  Plus it will only take a few days for people to notice the crispy fried freak walking around their burg.
 
2013-02-25 01:04:35 AM
Your nightmare of attention whoring will soon be over.
 
2013-02-25 01:08:39 AM
When she was young:
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-25 01:08:44 AM
Burn our Whitehouse will ya!

Take this!

/please?
 
2013-02-25 01:12:47 AM
Does she think she's going to see the sun in England?
 
2013-02-25 01:17:47 AM

WeenerGord: Does she think she's going to see the sun in England?


Not if  she's staying in Lower Uncton....
 
2013-02-25 01:20:11 AM
I'm ordering a round of eye bleach for the entire thread.
 
2013-02-25 01:26:47 AM

astouffer: She was on Howard Stern a few months ago. Her voice is incredibly annoying and after hearing her speak you'd swear she was a bit "slow".


sounded drunk to me.
 
2013-02-25 01:29:00 AM

skullkrusher: "It's freezing cold here in New Jersey during winter so I cannot spend any time sunbathing in my garden."

Yeah, I totally believe that this woman from New farking Jersey is referring to her backyard as her "garden".


Ignorance is bliss, moran. New Jersey is "The Garden State". Wow did your Momma raise a fool.

Foxxinnia: When I think of a place that's less of a nanny state than New Jersey, the first place that comes to mind is England.


Just because you toss the salads of diseased street urchins in front of children on their way to school is no reason to sling insult. The citizens of New Jersey just have morals and values. Remember them? They're what you gave up when you were 12 and started doing anal for nickels.

ISO15693: There you go, London. Your challenge is to seem more educated and less small minded than new jersey.


In addition to some of the countries finest public schools New Jersey has over 65 Colleges and Universities. And there is no lack of bright minds from The Garden State that have greatly contributed to most every field of science, medicine, the arts, inventions, etcetera. When you project your own lack of personality, education, contribution and that terribly low self-esteem you suffer from towards others it mirrors what a pathetic POS you are as a representative of San Jose CA. Now get back to work, you have at least a dozen more stray dogs to blow before your shift is over.
 
2013-02-25 01:29:00 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-25 01:43:53 AM

KrispyKritter: skullkrusher: "It's freezing cold here in New Jersey during winter so I cannot spend any time sunbathing in my garden."

Yeah, I totally believe that this woman from New farking Jersey is referring to her backyard as her "garden".

Ignorance is bliss, moran. New Jersey is "The Garden State". Wow did your Momma raise a fool.

Foxxinnia: When I think of a place that's less of a nanny state than New Jersey, the first place that comes to mind is England.

Just because you toss the salads of diseased street urchins in front of children on their way to school is no reason to sling insult. The citizens of New Jersey just have morals and values. Remember them? They're what you gave up when you were 12 and started doing anal for nickels.

ISO15693: There you go, London. Your challenge is to seem more educated and less small minded than new jersey.

In addition to some of the countries finest public schools New Jersey has over 65 Colleges and Universities. And there is no lack of bright minds from The Garden State that have greatly contributed to most every field of science, medicine, the arts, inventions, etcetera. When you project your own lack of personality, education, contribution and that terribly low self-esteem you suffer from towards others it mirrors what a pathetic POS you are as a representative of San Jose CA. Now get back to work, you have at least a dozen more stray dogs to blow before your shift is over.


New Jersey like typing detected
 
2013-02-25 01:47:29 AM
No one could get that Farkin' ugly in only 44 years!
 
2013-02-25 01:48:48 AM

mrswood: keep it classy tan mom.
[celebrities.ninemsn.com.au image 600x400]


AIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
I could have went my whole life without seeing that.  Thanks for ruining it.
wwwdelivery.superstock.com
 
2013-02-25 01:52:40 AM

namatad: KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!

and wouldnt it be cheaper and easier to buy a home tanning bed??
LOL


yeah, cuz hard core level 10 junky addiction usually goes hand in hand with common sense.
Besides i she were at home, sho would be seeing her? She OBVIOUSLY wants the attention.
 
2013-02-25 02:04:22 AM

callmedutch: Why do British papers make up quotes from people? Have you seen "tan mom" interviewed on TV? Do the "quotes" in this piece sound like an uneducated woman from New Jersey said them?


I agree. The quotes use the word "mum." And it said the family is now on the breadline, something the US hasn't had in nearly a century.

I wonder if anyone has considered that this woman might be depressed and that the tanning was increasing her serotonin levels. I'm not a tanner, but 20 minutes outside in the middle of the afternoon on a summer day really gives me an energy jump. And during the winter I use a non-UV light box that seems to help with energy too. Although it doesn't feel as good as sitting in the sun for a bit.
 
2013-02-25 02:09:08 AM
Not that it really helps her health, but why doesn't she just buy her own tanning bed, and fry herself.
 
2013-02-25 02:20:44 AM
It is a nice thought, but why does England have to take her? She has the little matter of the possible 10 years hanging over her for child endangerment. Further it is possible England has some standards. If one sets the bar at all it is probably too high for her to qualify.
 
2013-02-25 02:20:46 AM
img.thesun.co.uk

prettycleverfilms.com
 
2013-02-25 02:36:08 AM

KrispyKritter: New Jersey is "The Garden State". Wow did your Momma raise a fool.


I shouldn't taunt the self described mentally ill, but... isn't NJ the place where NY sends its garbage? How did that "Fresh Kills" garbage dump that they sent the 9/11 debris to, get a name like that?

I've know people from NJ who told me NJ jokes. Also....dammit I couldn't find an image of Joe Piscopo grinning like a fiend and saying "I'm from Joisey! Are you from Joisey? I'm from Joisey! " but I did find this


1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-25 02:53:30 AM

KrispyKritter: skullkrusher: "It's freezing cold here in New Jersey during winter so I cannot spend any time sunbathing in my garden."

Yeah, I totally believe that this woman from New farking Jersey is referring to her backyard as her "garden".

Ignorance is bliss, moran. New Jersey is "The Garden State". Wow did your Momma raise a fool.

Foxxinnia: When I think of a place that's less of a nanny state than New Jersey, the first place that comes to mind is England.

Just because you toss the salads of diseased street urchins in front of children on their way to school is no reason to sling insult. The citizens of New Jersey just have morals and values. Remember them? They're what you gave up when you were 12 and started doing anal for nickels.

ISO15693: There you go, London. Your challenge is to seem more educated and less small minded than new jersey.

In addition to some of the countries finest public schools New Jersey has over 65 Colleges and Universities. And there is no lack of bright minds from The Garden State that have greatly contributed to most every field of science, medicine, the arts, inventions, etcetera. When you project your own lack of personality, education, contribution and that terribly low self-esteem you suffer from towards others it mirrors what a pathetic POS you are as a representative of San Jose CA. Now get back to work, you have at least a dozen more stray dogs to blow before your shift is over.


One KrispyKritter defends another?

Color me farking shocked.

/Ice it down, brah.
//Your spraytan is showing.
 
2013-02-25 03:15:20 AM

KrispyKritter: skullkrusher: "It's freezing cold here in New Jersey during winter so I cannot spend any time sunbathing in my garden."

Yeah, I totally believe that this woman from New farking Jersey is referring to her backyard as her "garden".

Ignorance is bliss, moran. New Jersey is "The Garden State". Wow did your Momma raise a fool.

Foxxinnia: When I think of a place that's less of a nanny state than New Jersey, the first place that comes to mind is England.

Just because you toss the salads of diseased street urchins in front of children on their way to school is no reason to sling insult. The citizens of New Jersey just have morals and values. Remember them? They're what you gave up when you were 12 and started doing anal for nickels.

ISO15693: There you go, London. Your challenge is to seem more educated and less small minded than new jersey.

In addition to some of the countries finest public schools New Jersey has over 65 Colleges and Universities. And there is no lack of bright minds from The Garden State that have greatly contributed to most every field of science, medicine, the arts, inventions, etcetera. When you project your own lack of personality, education, contribution and that terribly low self-esteem you suffer from towards others it mirrors what a pathetic POS you are as a representative of San Jose CA. Now get back to work, you have at least a dozen more stray dogs to blow before your shift is over.


And all of that was undone with the advent of "Jersey Shore". You can put pearls on a pig and polish a turd, but you cannot unmake that shiatfest blight upon humanity.
 
2013-02-25 03:18:20 AM
cdn.ebaumsworld.com

Not seeing the problem here.
 
2013-02-25 04:06:36 AM
1: Sees headline

2: Knows not to click it

3: Does it anyway, for reasons that can't be explained

4: Hates himself for doing it
 
2013-02-25 04:20:17 AM
skibalaw.com
 
2013-02-25 04:34:33 AM

Brick-House: When you make Snookie look normal, you have a problem...

[www.nypost.com image 300x300]


Snooki is hispanic, so that picture anyway is a normal skin tone. The orange one not so much.
I did know a white guy who was that dark, but he was a commercial fisherman.
Anyway, this coont should move farther away. I wonder what qualifications she has to immigrate to the UK. Like you have to have a job. It's not like the U.S. where you just walk over the Canadian border and say "Here I am". The rules are tight
 
2013-02-25 05:06:30 AM

cretinbob: Brick-House: When you make Snookie look normal, you have a problem...

[www.nypost.com image 300x300]

Snooki is hispanic, so that picture anyway is a normal skin tone. The orange one not so much.
I did know a white guy who was that dark, but he was a commercial fisherman.
Anyway, this coont should move farther away. I wonder what qualifications she has to immigrate to the UK. Like you have to have a job. It's not like the U.S. where you just walk over the Canadian border and say "Here I am". The rules are tight


And getting tighter by the day. I think they'll revert the post graduate visa decision in the next couple of years though. Getting rid of that visa was pretty stupid. (well educated? get the fark out!) Plus fewer foreign students paying huge fees means home students have to pay more.

I'm currently waiting on the decision for my own visa switch (Tier 1 general to Unmarried partner) so any anger felt at someone thinking you can just "move to the UK" may be stress related.
 
2013-02-25 05:08:56 AM
branded "world's worst mom?" Really?Look, she's a bit of a freak and a tanorexic. That much is certain. But her kid looks healthy, happy and normal enough and I doubt the girl has actually been tanned unnaturally at all. "World's worst mom" would be for someone who beat their kid, and left her chained, naked in her own feces in the dark and starved her. There are people who have done that.
 
2013-02-25 05:47:43 AM
I thought she was a chav to begin with. That's more believable than her Jersey origin.
 
2013-02-25 06:13:34 AM
1 - Why hasn't this woman BOUGHT a tanning bed?
2 - FTFA : "It's freezing cold here in New Jersey during winter so I cannot spend any time sunbathing in my garden...
"But I love London and am convinced that moving there is the only way my family and I can find happiness again."

Ah London, the sunny paradise and tanning mecca of europe.

/whiskey
//tango
///foxtrot
 
2013-02-25 06:14:12 AM

Thraeryn: ASBO to follow.


Follow what? A trail of ashes?
 
2013-02-25 06:23:18 AM
London's burning!
 
2013-02-25 06:56:50 AM

KrispyKritter:

In addition to some of the countries finest public schools New Jersey has over 65 Colleges and Universities. And there is no lack of bright minds from The Garden State that have greatly contributed to most every field of science, medicine, the arts, inventions, etcetera. When you project your own lack of personality, education, contribution and that terribly low self-esteem you suffer from towards others it mirrors what a pathetic POS you are as a representative of San Jose CA. Now get back to work, you have at least a dozen more stray dogs to blow before your shift is over.


Being from Jersey myself, I can attest to the fact that we are indeed loaded with geeks and research facilities up in the north/middle part of the state.

It's comfortably like the better parts of New England up here for me.

However, I think it's better to point that out gently as to not reinforce the New Jersey stereotypes.

Or, carry on.
 
2013-02-25 07:00:57 AM
i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-02-25 07:03:31 AM

cretinbob: Brick-House: When you make Snookie look normal, you have a problem...

[www.nypost.com image 300x300]

Snooki is hispanic, so that picture anyway is a normal skin tone. The orange one not so much.
I did know a white guy who was that dark, but he was a commercial fisherman.
Anyway, this coont should move farther away. I wonder what qualifications she has to immigrate to the UK. Like you have to have a job. It's not like the U.S. where you just walk over the Canadian border and say "Here I am". The rules are tight


Canadian immigration isn't easy either unless you have a spotless medical history. I know two people who were denied immigration to Canada for health history. One was an old skin cancer diagnosis, the other was a "cleared" 10 year breast cancer survivor. Both had a lot of money, too. One wanted to buy hundreds of acres of land from my cousin, cash. Before she closed the deal she wanted to get her immigration taken care of, but was denied on the basis of her old diagnosis.
 
2013-02-25 07:31:33 AM

Neondistraction: naughtyrev: Ok, how the hell can she just afford to up and move to the UK? And why are they willing to take her?

She can't, and even if she could they won't.  Unless you have a desirable job skill or a shiatload of money, they don't let just anyone move there who wants to.


This is exactly what I thought while reading the article,well besides the fact every article in The Sun and the Daily Fail is to be taken with a grain of salt.
/biatch needs beaten for making a little redheaded kid tan like that.
//We don't tan,we burst into flames the moment the sun touches us.
 
2013-02-25 07:53:21 AM

quatchi: "All I do is cry and cry and cry and I think the only way out of this dreadful existence is to flee as far away as possible.

"no matter where you go, there you are".


Ahhh, the story of my life.
 
2013-02-25 09:08:55 AM
itstimetostoptoasting.jpg
 
2013-02-25 09:20:29 AM
" We have no money"..."were moving to London".

How does that work?
 
2013-02-25 09:22:02 AM

shastacola: " We have no money"..."were moving to London".

How does that work?


"we're"
 
2013-02-25 09:32:12 AM
Just buy your own farking tanning bed.
 
2013-02-25 09:46:11 AM

skullkrusher: "It's freezing cold here in New Jersey during winter so I cannot spend any time sunbathing in my garden."

Yeah, I totally believe that this woman from New farking Jersey is referring to her backyard as her "garden".


Seriously, dude? Many NJ residents have gardens.

0/10
 
2013-02-25 09:53:46 AM
Sunshine is still free. Just saying.
 
2013-02-25 10:17:48 AM

BigNumber12: namatad: KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!


Clearly she absorbs those attacks. Try Ice.


I may have just snerked my lunch all over the keyboard, you magnificent bastard.
 
2013-02-25 10:18:38 AM

KrispyKritter: Ignorance is bliss, moran. New Jersey is "The Garden State". Wow did your Momma raise a fool.


nice try
 
2013-02-25 10:19:57 AM

unfarkingbelievable: skullkrusher: "It's freezing cold here in New Jersey during winter so I cannot spend any time sunbathing in my garden."

Yeah, I totally believe that this woman from New farking Jersey is referring to her backyard as her "garden".

Seriously, dude? Many NJ residents have gardens.

0/10


sure. Do they sunbathe in them in between the tomatoes and the cucumbers?
 
2013-02-25 10:20:49 AM
I'd say to kill it with fire, but I believe that leathery hide could withstand it.
 
2013-02-25 10:57:48 AM

BigNumber12: namatad: KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!


Clearly she absorbs those attacks. Try Ice.


I lol'd hard on that one. Bravo, sir!
 
2013-02-25 11:37:05 AM

illannoyin: [i.imgur.com image 401x271]


Someone has been using Joker brand products.
 
2013-02-25 11:52:31 AM

stuffy: Very very sorry London please don't be mad at us for this.


fark them! We owe them for Piers Morgan, and I think we one upped them by sending her leathery ass over there.
 
2013-02-25 11:53:10 AM
Is this what they call: "Tanarchy In The UK?"
 
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