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(The Sun)   Tan Mom, banned from every tanning salon in her home state of New Jersey, plans to beat ban by moving to London (w/pics)   (thesun.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Followup, New Jersey, school nurse  
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27963 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Feb 2013 at 10:16 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



185 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2013-02-24 10:50:28 PM  
Dear Britain,
You gave us Piers Morgan and in return we are giving you Tan Mom.

Congrats,
USA
 
2013-02-24 10:50:48 PM  
I just don't know what is worse, the fact that this woman can reproduce and has 5 children, or the fact that we forced to see her on TV and in the news....it all leads to just one conclusion ....Our world is doomed.
 
2013-02-24 10:56:05 PM  

L.D. Ablo: Because if she bought a tanning bed, she wouldn't be able to attention whore.


yah, this was pointed out to me on FB ....
I always forget the attention whore aspect of life.
 
2013-02-24 10:56:34 PM  
Hope she stays away from Los Angeles tonight, they might mistake her for an Oscar.
 
2013-02-24 10:56:55 PM  
"I never felt tanning was doing me any harm and love looking like I'm just back from vacation."


Where the fark is she holidaying, the 7th circle of hell?  The heart of Betelgeuse?  That skin colour doesn't occur in nature, she looks like she's rolled in creosote.  I hear Death Valley is nice this time of year, certainly gets a bit sunnier than Chingford.  Or Clacton-on-Sea.
 
2013-02-24 10:57:11 PM  
When you make Snookie look normal, you have a problem...

www.nypost.com
 
2013-02-24 10:57:24 PM  
That woman's gonna make some guy a nice set of seat covers
someday.
 
2013-02-24 11:00:21 PM  
http://cdn.theblemish.com/images/2013/02/tanning-mom-drunk-07-640x966. jpg
not safe for humans
 
2013-02-24 11:00:56 PM  

Brick-House: When you make Snookie look normal, you have a problem...

[www.nypost.com image 300x300]


hahahaha hahhahah ahhahahaha hahahah hahahahah hahahaahah
 
2013-02-24 11:00:58 PM  
Holy SH*T, what is that thing!?
Oh well, I guess it's London's problem now.  Good luck with this one, England.  Lol.
 
2013-02-24 11:01:12 PM  
Spontaneous combution is next, spa, spa, I would love to see it.
 
2013-02-24 11:03:33 PM  

namatad: KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!



Clearly she absorbs those attacks. Try Ice.
 
2013-02-24 11:03:58 PM  
1. She looks like one large melanoma.
2. She said: "They told me it was bad and tanning beds cause cancer. But I've been using them for years and never got cancer, so what do they know?"
My dad smoked, used carcinogenic chemicals at work, and had exposure to asbestos. He made similar comments before his lung cancer diagnosis, but no longer made those comments between his diagnosis and death.

I used to open hot radiators for customers when I worked in a gas station. So one day my car overheated, and I gave myself a 3rd degree burn opening the radiator before it cooled. Now I know that I, too, am moral.


Sooner Or Later -- With apologies to The Grass Roots
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna get ya
Sooner or later, girl you got to give in
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna let ya
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna win
Its just a matter of time
Before you make up your mind
To give all that cancer that you've been hiding
Its just a question of when
I've told you time and again
I'll get all the cancer you've been denying
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna get ya
Sooner or later, girl you got to give in
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna let ya
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna win
You say you'll never be mine
But darling they'll come a time
I'll taste all that cancer that you've been hiding
Its just a question of time
Before you make up your mind
And give all that cancer you've been denying
You've been looking for cancer
In all the wrong places
You've been looking for cancer
All the wrong faces
Gotta get ya girl
On this illusion
Gonna save your heart
From all this confusion
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna get ya
Sooner or later, girl you got to give in
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna let ya
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna win
cancer is gonna win
Its just a matter of time
Before you make up your mind
And give all the cancer that you've been hiding
Its just a question of when
Told you time and again
I'll get all the cancer you've been denying
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna get ya
Sooner or later, girl you got to give in
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna let ya
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna win
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna get ya
Sooner or later, girl you got to give in
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna let ya
Sooner or later, cancer is gonna win
 
2013-02-24 11:05:29 PM  
mortal. Need edit here on fark... I never see my typos until after I submit.
 
2013-02-24 11:05:35 PM  
I like how they just change the supposed quotes of what she said.  She didn't say that she couldn't tan in her garden.  I'm sure she said yard.  We grow vegetables in our gardens here...  Now that I think about it, she does look more like some kind of wilted vegetable than a human.
 
2013-02-24 11:08:17 PM  
pics.drugstore.com
Is this the tanning lotion she plans to market? If so, already been done.
 
2013-02-24 11:10:25 PM  
I'm glad she's emigrating to GB. Let THEIR socialized medicine pay for her melanoma treatments.
 
2013-02-24 11:13:42 PM  
If she were a steak, I'd send it back. Kee-rist that woman needs help.
 
2013-02-24 11:14:28 PM  

Lidocaine: On behalf of the USA, I would like to go ahead and proactively apologize to the Brits for the money your tax payers will spend on her healthcare (leading up to her death from cancer) and the subsequent cost of raising her daughter after she's gone...


Umm, yeah... They're not going to let her move there.
 
2013-02-24 11:15:47 PM  

dopirt: skullkrusher: Real Women Drink Akvavit: skullkrusher: Sheseala: I somehow avoided this story, was she making the redhead tan??

daughter was sunburned and someone said that the kid said she got burned from a tanning bed. Who the fark knows. This woman is a psycho but this article is a load of horseshiat

Having had the misfortune of hearing her speak for a news interview attempt and now reading that article makes me agree. Unless she has a very interesting case of multiple personality disorder.

/well, that and having seen many Sun articles before makes me agree...

she is straight up Jersey trash and she's talking about her "garden" and referring to herself as a "mum" and talking about her "dreadful" existence? This woman did not say those words.

Get over it. Have you ever seen "Honey Boo Boo," and how they have subtitles?  This is the same thing. They are translating whatever she uttered into their readership's vernacular.


The only show.where its acceptable is Moonshiners. The reason why Honey Boo Boo can't speak properly is because its 'cute' and her ham beast mother keeps.eating the teachers.
 
2013-02-24 11:18:23 PM  

quatchi: "All I do is cry and cry and cry and I think the only way out of this dreadful existence is to flee as far away as possible.

"no matter where you go, there you are".


She's clearly sick.  "Tanorexic" is as good a term as any.  I hope she gets therapy.

Or, you know, we could just make fun of her.
 
2013-02-24 11:19:33 PM  

Mithiwithi: skullkrusher: she is straight up Jersey trash and she's talking about her "garden" and referring to herself as a "mum" and talking about her "dreadful" existence? This woman did not say those words.

Yeah, The Sun probably translated her dialect into chav. It's not like we're dealing with a paragon of journalistic integrity here.


On the other hand, it wouldn't be a stretch to call the woman a chav, would it? So maybe it's appropriate.
 
2013-02-24 11:21:13 PM  
Ok, how the hell can she just afford to up and move to the UK? And why are they willing to take her?
 
2013-02-24 11:22:33 PM  
There you go, London. Your challenge is to seem more educated and less small minded than new jersey.
 
2013-02-24 11:24:33 PM  
Where's CPS?

She let her red haired, fair skinned minor daughter use a tanning bed. Research has shown that pre-adolescent sunburns increase the chances of SJN cancers later in life. She's actively trying to give her daughter cancer.

/tanned like the dickens in '70s and '80s when we didn't know better. Burnt often as a kid.
//get every strange growth examined or removed when it appears
///!CSB
 
2013-02-24 11:28:47 PM  
I can't get in, but Tan Mom can?  I'm not even sure I'd associate with you anymore, GB.
 
2013-02-24 11:29:00 PM  

You Must Construct Additional Pylons.: She went black and is taking measures ensure she doesn't go back.


I just shot snot out my nose reading this!!! Oh lawdy... But yeah she will be a nice addition to the uk and we will most likely be reading an article titled " smoking hot mom blah blah blah" from the sun on here in no time
/ mark my words
// getting over a cold, snot all over
 
2013-02-24 11:31:06 PM  
Great idea. The Brits don't have paparazzi, and everyone will totally leave her alone there. And tan folks totally blend-in with all of those sun-drenched Londoners.
 
2013-02-24 11:36:25 PM  

ciberido: quatchi: "All I do is cry and cry and cry and I think the only way out of this dreadful existence is to flee as far away as possible.

"no matter where you go, there you are".

She's clearly sick.  "Tanorexic" is as good a term as any.  I hope she gets therapy.

Or, you know, we could just make fun of her.


Yes, I do realize she is mentally ill and that that's not funny but this *is* Fark so there's no way she gets let off the hook completely.

Balance in all things.
 
2013-02-24 11:38:01 PM  
If nothing else, it gives "Hot Chic" a new thread.
 
2013-02-24 11:39:26 PM  

Lidocaine: On behalf of the USA, I would like to go ahead and proactively apologize to the Brits for the money your tax payers will spend on her healthcare (leading up to her death from cancer) and the subsequent cost of raising her daughter after she's gone...


Why apologize? Their dumbasses wanted to socialize healthcare, this is what they get.
 
2013-02-24 11:46:04 PM  

naughtyrev: Ok, how the hell can she just afford to up and move to the UK? And why are they willing to take her?


She can't, and even if she could they won't.  Unless you have a desirable job skill or a shiatload of money, they don't let just anyone move there who wants to.
 
2013-02-25 12:00:46 AM  
For all of you complaining about the "garden", I'd sure like to know where YOU park your lorries.
 
2013-02-25 12:03:45 AM  
So that's what the grandmother of the female chocolate M&M character in commercials looks like.

All she needs is a broom and a cackle.
 
2013-02-25 12:14:00 AM  
'Docs said sunbeds cause cancer, but what do they know'

Um.. they know it causes cancer, so enjoy having your body covered with scars from your many melanoma removals.
 
2013-02-25 12:15:30 AM  
Great, now there will be even FEWER white Britons in London.
 
2013-02-25 12:16:00 AM  

quatchi: Yes, I do realize she is mentally ill and that that's not funny but this *is* Fark so there's no way she gets let off the hook completely.

Balance in all things.


How immediate does "danger to self" have to be for involuntary commitment?
 
2013-02-25 12:18:37 AM  

LDM90: For all of you complaining about the "garden", I'd sure like to know where YOU park your lorries.


in the gah-raj. Duh
 
2013-02-25 12:19:33 AM  
She was on Howard Stern a few months ago. Her voice is incredibly annoying and after hearing her speak you'd swear she was a bit "slow".
 
2013-02-25 12:22:59 AM  

skullkrusher: LDM90: For all of you complaining about the "garden", I'd sure like to know where YOU park your lorries.

in the gah-raj. Duh


Well la-de-dah
 
2013-02-25 12:23:14 AM  

AndreMA: quatchi: Yes, I do realize she is mentally ill and that that's not funny but this *is* Fark so there's no way she gets let off the hook completely.

Balance in all things.

How immediate does "danger to self" have to be for involuntary commitment?


There's the rub, skin cancer takes time to develop.

If I were her hubby (Thank the FSM I'm not, just saying) I would have at least tried to have her committed long ago.

If that didn't work plan B would have been divorce and making sure I got the kids.

/Yes, I realize the difficulty there, just saying.
 
2013-02-25 12:29:45 AM  
In the immortal words of John Lennon, "...You can get a tan by standing in the English rain..."
 
2013-02-25 12:32:12 AM  

stuffy: Very very sorry London please don't be mad at us for this.


Ah, it's just a bit of revenge for that little war thing.
 
2013-02-25 12:35:20 AM  

BraveNewCheneyWorld: 'Docs said sunbeds cause cancer, but what do they know'

Um.. they know it causes cancer, so enjoy having your body covered with scars from your many melanoma removals.


Good christ, with skin that cooked, how could they tell the melanoma apart?

namatad: KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!

and wouldnt it be cheaper and easier to buy a home tanning bed??
LOL


Looks like somebody already tried.  I think it's immune by now
 
2013-02-25 12:38:33 AM  

gregscott: mortal. Need edit here on fark... I never see my typos until after I submit.


Or use the preview button. You can edit from there.
 
2013-02-25 12:39:56 AM  
"To me, London is the perfect place. Nobody will know us and, unlike in New Jersey, I think people are more educated and less small-minded.

"The only thing keeping me going is the idea of us all moving to London


Yeah, shes not really going, just a nice fantasy.  And if by some accident she did, she might be surprised at the reception.  Because hey, the trashy Brit tabloids are just interviewing her out of the goodness of their hearts.
Just like Amy Winehouse.  Oh wait, she actually produced some good music.
 
2013-02-25 12:40:52 AM  
"It's freezing cold here in New Jersey during winter so I cannot spend any time sunbathing in my garden.

She does know, that it's actually quite easy to tan/burn in the winter, right? Just get some cardboard/wood, aluminum foil, and set it up in a reflective pattern and lay in the middle of it.
 
2013-02-25 12:41:07 AM  
She could make some money in a tribute show if she went down on one knee and sang "Swanne".
 
2013-02-25 12:42:02 AM  

HoratioGates: If she doesn't want her own tanning bed, wouldn't maybe moving someplace like Arizona work better?  Or Philadelphia.  I hear it's always sunny in Philadelphia.


No,no,no- don't try pawning that trash off on us.  We have our own cross to bear, don't need this nut too.
 
2013-02-25 12:42:48 AM  
The Sun chose a really old story to shine upon.

The first pic shows a face covered with bodybuilders' bronzing makeup.  She was never that toasty.
 
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