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(New York Magazine)   New Cosmo editor says rebooted magazine will include fewer 'how to pleasure men' pieces, less sex advice from gay men. "Women have been around since the Garden of Eden, and you know what, we were tempting just fine back then"   (nymag.com) divider line 61
    More: Amusing, internet, Garden of Eden, Internet pornography, Miley Cyrus, prophets, Fashion Week  
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1608 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 24 Feb 2013 at 9:17 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-24 08:52:00 AM  
About that garden of eden thing, so what you're saying is if you censor and ignore enough of the stories about all the other women, Eve comes out looking OK.

Sounds like a great idea, if you want to appeal to Eve.
 
2013-02-24 09:03:57 AM  
"But Cosmos's great sex advice made a huge difference in the sack," said no man ever.
 
2013-02-24 09:21:03 AM  
 
2013-02-24 09:23:20 AM  
Ditto on the gay critiquing and arbiting of all things fashion, including who looks good wearing what.
This is part of the pathology of the fashion industry; this gay warping of mass media consumer sensibilities.
Nobody wears that stuff, those clown costumes.
 
2013-02-24 09:25:01 AM  
I've never read any of these so-called "how to pleasure a man" advice articles, but if any of them omit "leaving" or "turning into a pizza and a six-pack of beer", it was wrong.

/Why yes, I am single, actually...
 
2013-02-24 09:32:09 AM  
I, for one, call for more uses of the word "strumpet."
 
2013-02-24 09:35:51 AM  
Here's all the sex advice a woman needs about pleasing a man, courtesy of Jake Johannson:

Touch it.
 
2013-02-24 09:37:00 AM  

HotIgneous Intruder: Ditto on the gay critiquing and arbiting of all things fashion, including who looks good wearing what.
This is part of the pathology of the fashion industry; this gay warping of mass media consumer sensibilities.
Nobody wears that stuff, those clown costumes.


static1.businessinsider.com

/I will make fun of this fashion show until the day I die...
 
2013-02-24 09:38:27 AM  
I think it was Jay Leno that made a comment on one of these articles, "52 new places to kiss your man".  I don't need her to remember 52 places to kiss, he says.  I just need her to kiss the same place 52 times.
 
2013-02-24 09:41:59 AM  

fozziewazzi: I think it was Jay Leno that made a comment on one of these articles, "52 new places to kiss your man".  I don't need her to remember 52 places to kiss, he says.  I just need her to kiss the same place 52 times.


That's funny.. so it doesn't sound like Jay Leno..
 
2013-02-24 09:52:50 AM  
Cosmo is a magazine by women, for women, about women," Coles said. "And we are about women feeling proud of any choice they make. The issue is when you make a choice own it, and if it's a mistake, then move on."

A remarkably shallow philosophy but still miles and days better than their previous one which seemed to consist of "How to trick your man into cooking Tex-Mex" articles and non-stop, nonsensical sex tips.
 
2013-02-24 09:54:31 AM  
FTFA: Cosmopolitan's new editor-in-chief Joanna Coles thinks online porn is ruining our sex lives.
- it is, and it isn't.

FTFA: "The default position to understand sex in our culture is Internet porn," Coles said last night at a Fashion Week party celebrating Miley Cyrus's March Cosmo cover. "I think Internet porn has been really bad for women. I think there's been sort of a crisis in terms of sex, and young couples."
- More western women are making money off sex, it's their choice.
- More white women are discovering that they're not the first choice of their white men when it comes to desireable mates/fktoys/goddesses to worship. That's......... something I'm not going to delve into just this minute.

FTFA:  Coles - who appears on CBS's The Job tomorrow to award an editorial assistantship at Cosmo - wants her magazine to stop talking about how to pleasure men.
- Right.  Women want to hear about how to keep a man, whether he's her true love, how to keep him from straying, how to tell if he's straying, how to make him pay for straying.  Not just how to fk a man.

FTFA:  "Cosmo is a magazine by women, for women, about women," Coles said. "And we are about women feeling proud of any choice they make. The issue is when you make a choice own it, and if it's a mistake, then move on."
- As long as the choice is not creating Internet porn.

FTFA: (Worth noting: Headlines from their March issue do include, "20 Sex Moves for Every Mood," and "So You Are Thinking About a Threesome.")
- Change takes time, New Yorker

FTFA: Even gay men won't have much of a place in the magazine. "A couple of male gay friends of mine have suggested they write sex columns for me.
- Nobody can suck a dick like a man. Or fk like a man. As long as it's clearly noted as coming from a gay man, who gives a fk.  Gay men have been ghostwriting for years, same as straight men -- and same as straight women and lesbian women ghostwriting as men.  Is she going to do a gender check when writing out her checks or passing out assignments?

FTFA: And I was like 'Buddy, women are fine without advice from gay men. Women have been around since the Garden of Eden, and you know what, we were tempting just fine back then.
- Tempting and fking are two different things.

FTFA: I feel like there's been this weird move, partly directed by Sex in the City, where suddenly gay men were supposed to be oracles for women," Coles said. "And actually, women love gay men, and of course we want them in our lives, but they don't have to be the be all and end all for sex advice."
 - That's true.  Still, a man knows what a man wants.  The Sex in the City bullshiat was more about women seeking out safe men anyway, not necessarily gay men.  They could have used eunuchs or priests (if priests were still considered safe men).
 
2013-02-24 09:55:14 AM  

blue_2501: HotIgneous Intruder: Ditto on the gay critiquing and arbiting of all things fashion, including who looks good wearing what.
This is part of the pathology of the fashion industry; this gay warping of mass media consumer sensibilities.
Nobody wears that stuff, those clown costumes.

[static1.businessinsider.com image 590x885]

/I will make fun of this fashion show until the day I die...


I've seen that pic a few times now and sorta thought that it's so patently absurd it must be a shop.

Is that (for lack of a better word) real?

Did someone actually wear that monstrosity in public like it was a good idea?
 
2013-02-24 09:58:03 AM  
Protip: sex, more often. Nag less. The best blowjob is a blowjob, given willingly and often.
 
2013-02-24 10:02:54 AM  

Alphax: fozziewazzi: I think it was Jay Leno that made a comment on one of these articles, "52 new places to kiss your man".  I don't need her to remember 52 places to kiss, he says.  I just need her to kiss the same place 52 times.

That's funny.. so it doesn't sound like Jay Leno..


I thought that was Ron White
 
2013-02-24 10:03:53 AM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: FTFA: I feel like there's been this weird move, partly directed by Sex in the City, where suddenly gay men were supposed to be oracles for women," Coles said. "And actually, women love gay men, and of course we want them in our lives, but they don't have to be the be all and end all for sex advice."
 - That's true.  Still, a man knows what a man wants.  The Sex in the City bullshiat was more about women seeking out safe men anyway, not necessarily gay men.  They could have used eunuchs or priests (if priests were still considered safe men).


As long you aren't an altar boy.
 
2013-02-24 10:04:20 AM  
all women need to know about is the blumpkin.

/ posting from the throne
 
2013-02-24 10:09:54 AM  

Fano: Protip: sex, more often. Nag less. The best blowjob is a blowjob, given willingly and often.


Men are amazingly simply creatures to please. Oral never gets old.  Bring him some food.  Don't talk so much, especially during a live game.  Do these things and you'll find your man will be eager to do things to make you happy so that you'll stick around.
 
2013-02-24 10:10:16 AM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-24 10:17:59 AM  

quatchi: blue_2501: HotIgneous Intruder: Ditto on the gay critiquing and arbiting of all things fashion, including who looks good wearing what.
This is part of the pathology of the fashion industry; this gay warping of mass media consumer sensibilities.
Nobody wears that stuff, those clown costumes.

[static1.businessinsider.com image 590x885]

/I will make fun of this fashion show until the day I die...

I've seen that pic a few times now and sorta thought that it's so patently absurd it must be a shop.

Is that (for lack of a better word) real?

Did someone actually wear that monstrosity in public like it was a good idea?


Looks like it was a fashion show, so it was a model, being paid to wear that. Models do all kinds of things to make a buck, including wear retarded outfits thought up by people who think Lady Gaga is the height of fashion. I really don't understand the point of those types. Nobody ever buys that stuff. They don't dictate clothing trends, no matter how hard they try. Especially men's fashion. Our clothes really haven't changed that much in the last 20 years. There's a few minor details that change, but that's about it.

As for women's fashion, the sooner they get gay men out of that industry, the better.
 
2013-02-24 10:20:05 AM  
Suck their dick, play with their balls, make them a sandwich, and don't talk so much
 
2013-02-24 10:22:45 AM  
www.dlirium.net
 
2013-02-24 10:24:21 AM  

Champion of the Sun: Suck their dick, play with their balls, make them a sandwich, and don't talk so much


And don't forget the anal.
 
2013-02-24 10:27:04 AM  
Ah womens magazines. Fashion tips from gay men and sex tips from straight women. They really have the whole concept backwards.
 
2013-02-24 10:45:15 AM  

LectertheChef: Champion of the Sun: Suck their dick, play with their balls, make them a sandwich, and don't talk so much

And don't forget the anal.


6. See a doctor and get rid of it
 
2013-02-24 11:10:14 AM  
I thought this one was genetically hard wired into the entire female population:

38. "If your guy is suddenly going around all happy and whistling, then you need to find out why."
 
2013-02-24 11:17:51 AM  
accept no substitutes:

i2.wp.com
 
2013-02-24 11:20:58 AM  
If they want to increase their readership, they need to start adding hard-core porn pictorials. Especially girl-on-girl. Oh yeah!
 
2013-02-24 11:22:25 AM  
Rule 1.  Treat a queen like a ho and a ho like a queen.

Don't need a monthly subscription to learn that.
 
2013-02-24 11:36:54 AM  
I don't understand why so many hetero women seem to think that sex tips and fashion advice from flamboyant and flaming gay men is so valuable and important.

Wouldn't it make more sense to find out what straight men like in bed, and what types of clothing they find appealing on (or off) you?

I don't solicit sex or fashion tips from flannel wearing, mullet sporting bull dykes, but maybe I'm doing it wrong.
 
2013-02-24 11:37:14 AM  

LectertheChef: ...As for women's fashion, the sooner they get gay men out of that industry, the better.


Don't blame all of us for that stupid sh--. My fashion sense is pretty minimalist.
 
2013-02-24 11:43:37 AM  
For all the whining about the fashion industry I find women do a decent enough job. Just think of the high-fashion industry as a fanciful yet unconnected thing from actual women's wear.

Also, a lot of anti-gay men seem fairly upset about fashion trends in this thread. Protest too much?
 
2013-02-24 12:14:39 PM  
I was once making sweet sweet love to a comely vixen when she suddenly decided to jam a finger in my ass. I flew about three feet in the air, landed on the floor, and immediately pulled on my pants as fast as I could. As I was running out the door, I barely chocked out an incredulous "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT???" Through tears of shame, she sobbed a single word: "Cosmo".
 
2013-02-24 12:21:38 PM  

Unlord: I don't understand why so many hetero women seem to think that sex tips and fashion advice from flamboyant and flaming gay men is so valuable and important.

Wouldn't it make more sense to find out what straight men like in bed, and what types of clothing they find appealing on (or off) you?

I don't solicit sex or fashion tips from flannel wearing, mullet sporting bull dykes, but maybe I'm doing it wrong.


Women apparently think the book on man pleasing was written in sanskrit, as translated from Chaldean. Apparently figuring out our simple needs is a feat on par with splitting the atom.

This convoluted rube Goldberg approach to pleasing men only serves to annoy and confuse men, necessitating more articles on how to fix him. And there we see why these are written. No exclusive to women's mags though, I remember the lad rags of the late 90s all seemed to have the fad of thinking all women wanted their toes sucked. It was like tarantino became managing editor of maxim, details, gear, and GQ.
 
2013-02-24 12:21:50 PM  

Smackledorfer: For all the whining about the fashion industry I find women do a decent enough job. Just think of the high-fashion industry as a fanciful yet unconnected thing from actual women's wear.

Also, a lot of anti-gay men seem fairly upset about fashion trends in this thread. Protest too much?


It's not anti-gay, it's more a bafflement at having men who have zero interest in making women look good coming up with clothing for women. It'd be like a vegan being the head chef at a steak house.
 
2013-02-24 12:31:32 PM  

Fano: Unlord: I don't understand why so many hetero women seem to think that sex tips and fashion advice from flamboyant and flaming gay men is so valuable and important.

Wouldn't it make more sense to find out what straight men like in bed, and what types of clothing they find appealing on (or off) you?

I don't solicit sex or fashion tips from flannel wearing, mullet sporting bull dykes, but maybe I'm doing it wrong.

Women apparently think the book on man pleasing was written in sanskrit, as translated from Chaldean. Apparently figuring out our simple needs is a feat on par with splitting the atom.

This convoluted rube Goldberg approach to pleasing men only serves to annoy and confuse men, necessitating more articles on how to fix him. And there we see why these are written. No exclusive to women's mags though, I remember the lad rags of the late 90s all seemed to have the fad of thinking all women wanted their toes sucked. It was like tarantino became managing editor of maxim, details, gear, and GQ.


I'm of the mind that if you need a magazine or book to give you sex advice, or advice on how to hit on people, your problems run a lot deeper than ignorance, and probably deserve to be given horrible advice. It's one thing if you're consulting the Kama Sutra, or learning the proper technique for handling a flogger or tying someone up without doing any damage to the person, fisting, golden showers, or anything else where the average person would genuinely not know what they're doing. But how to make a normal, relatively healthy person orgasm? That's just begging for horrible advice.
 
2013-02-24 12:49:45 PM  
So they won't publish for the 812th time that a woman should shove a hot curling iron up a man's bottom while strangling his nuts with a silk scarf and spitting hot sauce onto his member in order to turn him on more?

Frankly, I think some of those writers/editors were just trolling.
 
2013-02-24 12:54:29 PM  

LectertheChef: It's not anti-gay, it's more a bafflement at having men who have zero interest in making women look good coming up with clothing for women. It'd be like a vegan being the head chef at a steak house.


So much this.
 
2013-02-24 12:58:11 PM  

LectertheChef: It's not anti-gay, it's more a bafflement at having men who have zero interest in making women look good coming up with clothing for women. It'd be like a vegan being the head chef at a steak house.


That is an excellent way to put it.

Unlord: Wouldn't it make more sense to find out what straight men like

Women don't care what straight men like.  That's why their target weight is 80 pounds and they fill their perfectly fine bodies with silicone.  No straight man finds visible ribcages and plastic tits attractive.  Yet the women of our culture are saturated with it.  Worse, men get blamed for it.

/Seriously, ladies, we love you the way you are
 
2013-02-24 12:59:17 PM  

Unlord: LectertheChef: It's not anti-gay, it's more a bafflement at having men who have zero interest in making women look good coming up with clothing for women. It'd be like a vegan being the head chef at a steak house.

So much this.


"Let's cut the steak into triangles, soak them in watermelon juice, cook with a propane torch held by a clown, then cover it with chocolate sprinkles and oyster sauce and staple it to a fuzzy purple top hat. No, of course I will not taste it."

That's the food equivalent of high fashion.
 
2013-02-24 01:20:11 PM  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTQnUTgLssI

/obligatory
//touch him on the penis
 
2013-02-24 02:23:27 PM  
Snatch Bandergrip:

/Seriously, ladies, we love you the way you are

Liar.   It's a nice lie, but ... yeah. Personal experience says otherwise, unfortunately.
 
2013-02-24 03:05:47 PM  
GoldSpider

I've never read any of these so-called "how to pleasure a man" advice articles, but if any of them omit "leaving" or "turning into a pizza and a six-pack of beer", it was wrong.

/Why yes, I am single, actually...

  Well that's certainly not because of your sense of humor....new keyboard please.
 
2013-02-24 03:06:14 PM  

FunkOut: "Let's cut the steak into triangles, soak them in watermelon juice, cook with a propane torch held by a clown, then cover it with chocolate sprinkles and oyster sauce and staple it to a fuzzy purple top hat. No, of course I will not taste it."


Guy Fieri seen taking notes.
 
2013-02-24 03:39:46 PM  
I guess I'm out of the loop because I've never sought advice from a gay man for sex tips.  Of course I never sought the advice of cosmo either.  Sure I read it as a teenager and even then I knew it was total crap.  I remember asking some guys about some of the tips because they sounded a little crazy to me and universally I was told that was the worst advice they had ever heard.  Seriously who thinks a guy wants you to rub a popsicle on their dick or place a tight fitting scrunchy around it?  I mean I am not a guy, so maybe that is a thing, but I have not found a guy who said that sounds like a good idea.  Of course those are the only two ridiculous examples I can remember, but there were tons of those gems.
 
2013-02-24 03:57:00 PM  
"As seen on Glee!"
 
2013-02-24 04:55:52 PM  

Smackledorfer: Just think of the high-fashion industry as a fanciful yet unconnected thing from actual women's wear.


Or as I call it, "useless".

LectertheChef: It's one thing if you're consulting the Kama Sutra, or learning the proper technique for handling a flogger or tying someone up without doing any damage to the person, fisting, golden showers, or anything else where the average person would genuinely not know what they're doing.


Well, that sure escalated quickly.
 
2013-02-24 04:56:52 PM  

TheLopper: Here's all the sex advice a woman needs about pleasing a man, courtesy of Jake Johannson:

Touch it.


I bought the t-shirt from that show. It's one of my special "going out" shirts.
 
2013-02-24 05:50:31 PM  

rcf1105: I, for one, call for more uses of the word "strumpet."


Here you go:



The Lusty Strumpet SocietyLink

The business is my wife's. The name was mine. I original thought it would be a good name for a medieval pub.
 
2013-02-24 06:53:53 PM  

PillsHere: I guess I'm out of the loop because I've never sought advice from a gay man for sex tips.  Of course I never sought the advice of cosmo either.  Sure I read it as a teenager and even then I knew it was total crap.  I remember asking some guys about some of the tips because they sounded a little crazy to me and universally I was told that was the worst advice they had ever heard.  Seriously who thinks a guy wants you to rub a popsicle on their dick or place a tight fitting scrunchy around it?  I mean I am not a guy, so maybe that is a thing, but I have not found a guy who said that sounds like a good idea.  Of course those are the only two ridiculous examples I can remember, but there were tons of those gems.


Depends on the type of girl they categorized you as.when you asked -- and whether you told them it was Cosmo.

If you were the tomboy, one of the boys, completely asexual to them, the answer is 'that sounds retarded.'
If you were the chick they wanted to bone by any means necessary, and you made it seem like you were interested in it, the answer was 'is that what you like?' or if they're really thirsty 'ok whatever you want.'
If you were the chick they wanted to bone by any means necessary and you made it sound like you thought it was the most retarded thing in the world, the answer is 'that sounds retarded.'

Because you told them it was Cosmo, that adds a whole new layer of prevarication on top, because Cosmo must NEVER be given any credence.  If Cosmo said some guys like sniffing panties, and you showed the guys the article in Cosmo with the roll of the eyes, they would be honor bound to deny the truth.

Because it came from Cosmo.
 
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