If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Huffington Post)   Our long national nightmare is over. Ron Jeremy has been cleared to have sex again   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 48
    More: Spiffy, Ron Jeremy, aneurysms, memory losses, worst president, Jimmy Carter  
•       •       •

5918 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Feb 2013 at 4:07 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-02-23 10:54:56 AM  
nevar forget
 
2013-02-23 11:02:52 AM  
Hedgehog and R Bolla = old school actors who could deliver their lines and the goods.
 
2013-02-23 12:46:57 PM  
Barely any recovery time, just right back to work.
 
2013-02-23 03:17:38 PM  
FTFA.
I'd like to see Richard Burton or Sir John Gielgud or Sir Laurence Olivier do "Macbeth", memorizing all that dialogue, and have a boner.

Sorry Ron, but your skills are fairly limited and you never had to memorize anything, except how to choke your cauck to make it look bigger.
 
2013-02-23 04:12:03 PM  

Dumski: Sorry Ron, but your skills are fairly limited


Bigger than yours.
 
2013-02-23 04:23:22 PM  
Ron Jeremy is a cool mother farker.
 
2013-02-23 04:24:36 PM  
Heh, heh Subby said "long".

/Heh, heh.
 
2013-02-23 04:26:12 PM  

Kyosuke: Barely any recovery time, just right back to work.


"Work, work, work. Hi, boys"

home.comcast.net
 
2013-02-23 04:26:16 PM  
fat and old plus his ween is grody.

2/10 would not bang. way below my standards
 
2013-02-23 04:26:33 PM  
Thank god. The wait was so long and hard for all of us.
 
2013-02-23 04:31:12 PM  
When he finally dies they should erect a statue.
 
2013-02-23 04:35:52 PM  
Not that I'm gay or anything but I can't watch him in a porn banging some chick because he is so nasty to look at that it is a complete turn off.
 
2013-02-23 04:36:57 PM  
Not sure I get it

www3.pictures.zimbio.com
 
2013-02-23 04:37:29 PM  

Texas Gabe: When he finally dies they should erect a statue.


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-23 04:41:02 PM  

frozenhotchocolate: Not that I'm gay or anything but I can't watch him in a porn banging some chick because he is so nasty to look at that it is a complete turn off.


I think the issue for this is living vicariously through another. It is a lot easier when the subject looks halfway decent and doesn't make you want to recoil.
 
2013-02-23 04:44:14 PM  
good i was needing something to puke about
 
2013-02-23 04:48:24 PM  

Texas Gabe: When he finally dies they should erect a statue.


Are they going to need a hand encircling the base to keep it upright?
 
2013-02-23 04:52:00 PM  
So what is Ron's fark handle ?
 
2013-02-23 04:53:09 PM  
TFA spent the whole nine yards milking pun after pun out of Hedge's tired, flaccid penis
 
2013-02-23 05:00:40 PM  

Dumski: FTFA.
I'd like to see Richard Burton or Sir John Gielgud or Sir Laurence Olivier do "Macbeth", memorizing all that dialogue, and have a boner.

Sorry Ron, but your skills are fairly limited and you never had to memorize anything, except how to choke your cauck to make it look bigger.


Ron Jeremy and Tony Curtis were friends for 20 years, so if Jeremy needed advice about acting, he could get it.
 
2013-02-23 05:03:56 PM  

JohnCarter: Not sure I get it

[www3.pictures.zimbio.com image 360x240]


I know I don't. But on general principles, I am glad he is out of the woods.
 
2013-02-23 05:09:58 PM  

Kurmudgeon: Dumski: Sorry Ron, but your skills are fairly limited

Bigger than yours.


His skills are bigger than mine?
 
2013-02-23 05:11:30 PM  

Nem Wan: Dumski: FTFA.
I'd like to see Richard Burton or Sir John Gielgud or Sir Laurence Olivier do "Macbeth", memorizing all that dialogue, and have a boner.

Sorry Ron, but your skills are fairly limited and you never had to memorize anything, except how to choke your cauck to make it look bigger.

Ron Jeremy and Tony Curtis were friends for 20 years, so if Jeremy needed advice about acting, he could get it.


I'm sure that they talked about acting all the time... maybe he showed Tony how to strangle his cauck too!
 
2013-02-23 05:43:03 PM  

Gergesa: frozenhotchocolate: Not that I'm gay or anything but I can't watch him in a porn banging some chick because he is so nasty to look at that it is a complete turn off.

I think the issue for this is living vicariously through another. It is a lot easier when the subject looks halfway decent and doesn't make you want to recoil.


I thought that was the point? Ron's popular because he gives average-looking guys the illusion that they can bang a bunch of super-hot chicks, too.

/ask your doctor if you're healthy enough for sexual activity
 
2013-02-23 06:08:42 PM  
They should have used a piece of the vein in his dong to patch up his arteries.
 
2013-02-23 06:10:30 PM  
I hung out with the Hedgehog for a few minutes at Bonnaroo one night. We were both waiting for the golf cart taxi back to the campground at like 4AM. Talked HST, Mitchell Brothers and burned one down. That's about it.


/csb
 
2013-02-23 06:18:24 PM  
Sex with Ron Jeremy IS a long national nightmare.
 
2013-02-23 06:21:14 PM  

fusillade762: Gergesa: frozenhotchocolate: Not that I'm gay or anything but I can't watch him in a porn banging some chick because he is so nasty to look at that it is a complete turn off.

I think the issue for this is living vicariously through another. It is a lot easier when the subject looks halfway decent and doesn't make you want to recoil.

I thought that was the point? Ron's popular because he gives average-looking guys the illusion that they can bang a bunch of super-hot chicks, too.

/ask your doctor if you're healthy enough for sexual activity


i kinda find it hard to masturbate to porn cause i'm always thinking about this girl i want to marry
 
2013-02-23 06:24:20 PM  
Jon iz teh kewl:

i kinda find it hard to masturbate to porn cause i'm always thinking about this girl i want to marry

[youredoingitwrong.jpg]
 
2013-02-23 06:38:57 PM  

fusillade762: I thought that was the point? Ron's popular because he gives average-looking guys the illusion that they can bang a bunch of super-hot chicks, too.


I had always thought of myself as average looking but if Ron is considered average then the bar is set exceedingly low.
 
2013-02-23 06:44:13 PM  

Gergesa: fusillade762: I thought that was the point? Ron's popular because he gives average-looking guys the illusion that they can bang a bunch of super-hot chicks, too.

I had always thought of myself as average looking but if Ron is considered average then the bar is set exceedingly low.


We have a different bar for douches.
Wanna see?
 
2013-02-23 06:48:37 PM  

JohnCarter: Not sure I get it

[www3.pictures.zimbio.com image 360x240]


frozenhotchocolate: Not that I'm gay or anything but I can't watch him in a porn banging some chick because he is so nasty to look at that it is a complete turn off.


Is it so hard to wrap around your little mind that someone who you find so repugnant has gotten 1000 times the a** that you could even imagine to receive in 3 lifetimes?
 
2013-02-23 07:00:26 PM  

snocone: Gergesa: fusillade762: I thought that was the point? Ron's popular because he gives average-looking guys the illusion that they can bang a bunch of super-hot chicks, too.

I had always thought of myself as average looking but if Ron is considered average then the bar is set exceedingly low.

We have a different bar for douches.
Wanna see?


That would be amusing.
 
2013-02-23 07:18:16 PM  

StrikitRich: JohnCarter: Not sure I get it

[www3.pictures.zimbio.com image 360x240]

frozenhotchocolate: Not that I'm gay or anything but I can't watch him in a porn banging some chick because he is so nasty to look at that it is a complete turn off.

Is it so hard to wrap around your little mind that someone who you find so repugnant has gotten 1000 times the a** that you could even imagine to receive in 3 lifetimes?


Yes it hard to imagine that such a disgusting man would have sex with that many women who only would touch him because they were getting paid. I'm sure his parents are proud of him.
 
2013-02-23 07:33:39 PM  
our whole universe was in a HOT DEnSE STATE
 
2013-02-23 08:12:36 PM  

frozenhotchocolate: Yes it hard to imagine that such a disgusting man would have sex with that many women who only would touch him because they were getting paid. I'm sure his parents are proud of him.


I remember an offhand comment by a retired porn star. Said Ron was 'nice'
 
2013-02-23 09:04:36 PM  

StrikitRich: Is it so hard to wrap around your little mind that someone who you find so repugnant has gotten 1000 times the a** that you could even imagine to receive in 3 lifetimes?


I fail to see why that's relevant at all to the point you were addressing.  It doesn't make him any less boner-killingly revolting to look at.
 
2013-02-23 09:15:39 PM  
yes but is he SCIENTOLOGY CLEARED???
 
2013-02-23 09:31:13 PM  

whatisaidwas: Jon iz teh kewl:

i kinda find it hard to masturbate to porn cause i'm always thinking about this girl i want to marry

[youredoingitwrong.jpg]


How are you supposed to do it, and is it different for the opposite sex? Just curious what your answer is, I already have my preconceived notions.
 
2013-02-23 09:40:39 PM  
Ron's a really interesting guy. I met him on the set of Frezno Smooth in the mid 90's. super nice and really cordial dude. He's a big influence on why I went into teaching Special Ed. He mentioned it was really satisfying work, and so far he's right!
 
2013-02-23 10:14:01 PM  

ladyfortuna: whatisaidwas: Jon iz teh kewl:

i kinda find it hard to masturbate to porn cause i'm always thinking about this girl i want to marry

[youredoingitwrong.jpg]

How are you supposed to do it, and is it different for the opposite sex? Just curious what your answer is, I already have my preconceived notions.


Well, I generally have someone hold the giraffe while I fill the bathtub with brightly painted machine tools.
 
2013-02-24 12:19:08 AM  
Ok, I met Ron one time. I have to say... I found him to be one of the NICEST and most genuine "celebrity" that i've met. Many "famous" people.. famous for whatever... find themsleves to be so "above" everyone else. Ron was kind, generous with his time, funny, interesting... I don't know how else to say it. Just a really nice guy. I'm glad he's recovering well and hope he's back doing whatever he wants in life very soon.
 
2013-02-24 04:15:58 AM  

whatisaidwas: ladyfortuna: whatisaidwas: Jon iz teh kewl:

i kinda find it hard to masturbate to porn cause i'm always thinking about this girl i want to marry

[youredoingitwrong.jpg]

How are you supposed to do it, and is it different for the opposite sex? Just curious what your answer is, I already have my preconceived notions.

Well, I generally have someone hold the giraffe while I fill the bathtub with brightly painted machine tools.


You definitely need a Youtube channel in that case.
 
2013-02-24 10:14:45 AM  
My son-in-law directed a low-budget horror/comedy film a couple years ago in which Ron Jeremy had a cameo. He supposedly is a cool guy, but very thrifty. Check it out!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1884318/?ref_=sr_1

//css
 
2013-02-24 11:50:12 AM  

Gergesa: fusillade762: I thought that was the point? Ron's popular because he gives average-looking guys the illusion that they can bang a bunch of super-hot chicks, too.

I had always thought of myself as average looking but if Ron is considered average then the bar is set exceedingly low.


You're taking the mean of different sets.
You consider yourself average looking for the population at large. Fair enough.
If you limit yourself to the set of men for whom cheeto-enhanced masturbation to VHS porn is the most fulfilling sexual experience likely to ever occur, then Ron Jeremy is indeed average looking.
 
2013-02-24 12:19:01 PM  

Harmania: Gergesa: fusillade762: I thought that was the point? Ron's popular because he gives average-looking guys the illusion that they can bang a bunch of super-hot chicks, too.

I had always thought of myself as average looking but if Ron is considered average then the bar is set exceedingly low.

You're taking the mean of different sets.
You consider yourself average looking for the population at large. Fair enough.
If you limit yourself to the set of men for whom cheeto-enhanced masturbation to VHS porn is the most fulfilling sexual experience likely to ever occur, then Ron Jeremy is indeed average looking.


Young?
Ron is famous because he can(could) suck his own dick.
 
2013-02-24 03:38:12 PM  

snocone: Harmania: Gergesa: fusillade762: I thought that was the point? Ron's popular because he gives average-looking guys the illusion that they can bang a bunch of super-hot chicks, too.

I had always thought of myself as average looking but if Ron is considered average then the bar is set exceedingly low.

You're taking the mean of different sets.
You consider yourself average looking for the population at large. Fair enough.
If you limit yourself to the set of men for whom cheeto-enhanced masturbation to VHS porn is the most fulfilling sexual experience likely to ever occur, then Ron Jeremy is indeed average looking.

Young?
Ron is famous because he can(could) suck his own dick.


Not young. John Holmes was famous for the same thing, as are most woodsmen who rise to any kind of prominence (pun intended). RJ is uniquely famous for looking like the sad bastards that frequented porn theatres in the 70s and 80s while packing the required enormous hogleg.
 
2013-02-24 09:58:39 PM  

whatisaidwas: ladyfortuna: whatisaidwas: Jon iz teh kewl:

i kinda find it hard to masturbate to porn cause i'm always thinking about this girl i want to marry

[youredoingitwrong.jpg]

How are you supposed to do it, and is it different for the opposite sex? Just curious what your answer is, I already have my preconceived notions.

Well, I generally have someone hold the giraffe while I fill the bathtub with brightly painted machine tools.


So, sex is like changing a light bulb?
 
Displayed 48 of 48 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report