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(Cracked)   There are crazy people, then there are those who make their own personal theme park, like these three   (cracked.com) divider line 53
    More: Asinine, citadel, safe rooms, teach in, Dr. Doom, lunatics, building codes, Unabomber  
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13340 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Feb 2013 at 3:42 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-23 02:53:43 PM
The "seasteader" movement doesn't seem to make any sense.  Escaping minimum wage and firearms restrictions by living on a large platform in international waters?

First of all, who the Hell are you going to pay minimum wage on your little platform?  To do what?  To work in the factory that doesn't fit anywhere?  Why not just move to Saipan, which already has an extensive sweatshop industry and a perfectly bribeable government?

Second, if you're away from society on floating platform, firearms serve zero purpose except for addressing the problem you just created by moving into international waters.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-02-23 03:12:10 PM
I remember some guy planning a libertarian artificial island 20 years ago. I encouraged the planning, because it was interesting to watch the attempt to design workable laws, but I never thought it would fly float because you need other countries to recognize your country.

Without being recognized as an independent state the island is just some guys hanging out on a boat. If the artificial island is legally a stateless vessel then the American military can enforce American drug smuggling laws in international waters. Otherwise the Marines can come ashore and enforce U.S. law against U.S. citizens. Like that per capita health care tax you didn't pay.
 
2013-02-23 03:35:46 PM
Personally, I hope that all three projects go ahead.  I would love to see how the rest of America survives after all of the bootstrappy rugged Randian libertarian wealthy people leave to stake out their own private Galt's Gulches.

I mean it, I am dead serious, I really would love to see a United States that didn't have these fine, upstanding, self-reliant people in it.
 
2013-02-23 03:53:38 PM
This is a personal theme park created by a crazy person:  The Orange Show:   http://orangeshow.org/orange-show-monument/

/best thing in Houston
 
2013-02-23 03:54:18 PM
Ra's al ghul will be contributing lazarus pits to all locations.
 
2013-02-23 03:55:13 PM
Don't the rules for the Citadel already exist in rural Idaho?
 
2013-02-23 03:57:32 PM
Seems to be kind of politically one-sided in the amusement park world, which begs the question, would you rather live in a world of nutjob amusement parks or a world of no amusement parks?
 
2013-02-23 03:57:51 PM
Ahahahahah all three of them are those crazy libertarian projects. The threads about them on SA featured some fantastic stories written about how people imagined life would be on them. One of the collections is called On Golden Waters,yes it's a collection of stories by a bunch of goons but it was awesome. There is also another set of stories from the Glenn Beck thread they have which are great too.
 
2013-02-23 03:59:20 PM
WHAR MICHAEL JACKSON?  WHAR?

/realize he's dead

//he did build his own personal Pedoworld
 
2013-02-23 03:59:30 PM
Yeah, well, I'm gonna go build my own theme park, with blackjack and hookers! In fact, forget the park.
 
2013-02-23 04:00:00 PM
Meh, Columbia will be here later next month.
 
2013-02-23 04:00:45 PM
So when their island gets raided by pirates who have the financial backing of the international free market, are they going to be all bootstrappy and rely on their small guns to drive off the invaders? Or will they get angry that the ebil librul muslin Kenyan socialist usurper Mr. Farbongo McCommie didn't use his magic time machine to come rescue them?
 
2013-02-23 04:06:21 PM
South Park did it!
 
2013-02-23 04:08:41 PM
I have one, too. In mine, we excavate a 30-story basement under a Wal-Mart. It's just that easy.
 
2013-02-23 04:13:03 PM
Andrew Ryan noticeably absent.
 
2013-02-23 04:14:29 PM
Gotta love the response to the Citadel... its the "wild west in the streets!" argument.

'They're letting people carry guns... it will be the wild west! Shoot outs in the streets!'

It doesn't happen and then the next time somebody proposes letting people carry guns

'They're letting people carry guns... it will be the wild west! Shoot outs in the streets!'

It doesn't happen and then the next time...

Repeat this about a 1000x

Then roll your eyes when you see 1001 on Cracked.
 
2013-02-23 04:16:00 PM

bighairyguy: Seems to be kind of politically one-sided in the amusement park world, which begs the question, would you rather live in a world of nutjob amusement parks or a world of no amusement parks?


You're forgetting casinos, which are built by respectable businessmen.
 
2013-02-23 04:17:06 PM

randomjsa: Gotta love the response to the Citadel... its the "wild west in the streets!" argument.


It's still a farking stupid idea that seems like a scam. I mean look at how they want to set it up.
 
2013-02-23 04:19:22 PM
The Seastead sounds pretty cool . You would be able to take a dump right in the ocean which is nice .
 
2013-02-23 04:21:08 PM
They forgot one

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-23 04:22:09 PM
Including a panic room in every house is a selling point? Are they claiming that their community is so unsafe that you should expect large numbers of homes to be invaded so frequently that they all need panic rooms?
 
2013-02-23 04:22:49 PM

RY28: The Seastead sounds pretty cool . You would be able to take a dump right in the ocean which is nice .


Not if you build it here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Pacific_Garbage_Patch
 
2013-02-23 04:23:53 PM

randomjsa: Gotta love the response to the Citadel... its the "wild west in the streets!" argument.

'They're letting people carry guns... it will be the wild west! Shoot outs in the streets!'

It doesn't happen and then the next time somebody proposes letting people carry guns

'They're letting people carry guns... it will be the wild west! Shoot outs in the streets!'

It doesn't happen and then the next time...

Repeat this about a 1000x

Then roll your eyes when you see 1001 on Cracked.


Actually, what's going to happen is a rash of people shooting themselves either while cleaning their gun, or "while cleaning their gun."  That's still tragic, but there a lot of people who are going to be full of schadenfreude with that.

I think the most tragic part of the citadel is that these people are so paranoid about outside life that they have to live in a walled compound.  That speaks of mental illness.
 
2013-02-23 04:25:11 PM

taoistlumberjak: I think the most tragic part of the citadel is that these people are so paranoid about outside life that they have to live in a walled compound. That speaks of mental illness.


Yeah. Walling yourself up away from the world isn't healthy at all.
 
2013-02-23 04:27:20 PM
The most commonly proposed Seasteads would have no welfare, no minimum wage, loose building codes, and minimal weapon restrictions and will terrify anyone who's ever played BioShock.

I particularly love the no minimum wage bit. Who, exactly, do they think they are going to hire to come put the little umbrellas in their drinks on their glorified floating tiki bar? Yeah, I'm sure there will be people just jumping at the chance to come serve rich people $20 drinks for $2 an hour and never even have the hope for a chance to share in the lifestyle.
 
2013-02-23 04:35:18 PM

A Terrible Human: Yeah. Walling yourself up away from the world isn't healthy at all.


Tear down the wall!

Tear down the wall!

Tear down the wall!
 
2013-02-23 04:35:56 PM

StrangeQ: The most commonly proposed Seasteads would have no welfare, no minimum wage, loose building codes, and minimal weapon restrictions and will terrify anyone who's ever played BioShock.

I particularly love the no minimum wage bit. Who, exactly, do they think they are going to hire to come put the little umbrellas in their drinks on their glorified floating tiki bar? Yeah, I'm sure there will be people just jumping at the chance to come serve rich people $20 drinks for $2 an hour and never even have the hope for a chance to share in the lifestyle.


Maybe they could hook up with $cientology and use their slaves.

The South will Rise Again!
 
2013-02-23 04:35:57 PM

StrangeQ: The most commonly proposed Seasteads would have no welfare, no minimum wage, loose building codes, and minimal weapon restrictions and will terrify anyone who's ever played BioShock.

I particularly love the no minimum wage bit. Who, exactly, do they think they are going to hire to come put the little umbrellas in their drinks on their glorified floating tiki bar? Yeah, I'm sure there will be people just jumping at the chance to come serve rich people $20 drinks for $2 an hour and never even have the hope for a chance to share in the lifestyle.


They could opt for North Korea style government, 99% of population in abject poverty serving drinks to the top 1%.
 
2013-02-23 04:38:25 PM
These projects sound like make-work goldmines for lawyers.
 
2013-02-23 04:38:59 PM

Kumana Wanalaia: StrangeQ: The most commonly proposed Seasteads would have no welfare, no minimum wage, loose building codes, and minimal weapon restrictions and will terrify anyone who's ever played BioShock.

I particularly love the no minimum wage bit. Who, exactly, do they think they are going to hire to come put the little umbrellas in their drinks on their glorified floating tiki bar? Yeah, I'm sure there will be people just jumping at the chance to come serve rich people $20 drinks for $2 an hour and never even have the hope for a chance to share in the lifestyle.

Maybe they could hook up with $cientology and use their slaves.


That could work.
 
2013-02-23 04:39:52 PM

StrangeQ: I particularly love the no minimum wage bit. Who, exactly, do they think they are going to hire to come put the little umbrellas in their drinks on their glorified floating tiki bar? Yeah, I'm sure there will be people just jumping at the chance to come serve rich people $20 drinks for $2 an hour and never even have the hope for a chance to share in the lifestyle.


Never been on a cruise ship?  Third world nationals will take the jobs.

If they ever get one of these libertarian cruise ships floating, the imagery will be priceless.  A bunch of white folks ordering around brown people to serve their every whim, no minimum wage, probably paying them in company script.

Yeah, that will help the libertarian movement.
 
2013-02-23 04:44:17 PM
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-23 04:50:23 PM

randomjsa: Gotta love the response to the Citadel... its the "wild west in the streets!" argument.

'They're letting people carry guns... it will be the wild west! Shoot outs in the streets!'

It doesn't happen and then the next time somebody proposes letting people carry guns

'They're letting people carry guns... it will be the wild west! Shoot outs in the streets!'

It doesn't happen and then the next time...

Repeat this about a 1000x

Then roll your eyes when you see 1001 on Cracked.


You've never been to Los Angeles? Wow. You're missing out. Great taco trucks lurking in dark alleys and rats the size of Cocker Spaniels trying to steal your garbage before you even get it into the dumpster. The rats are what we're shooting at.

/the gangbanger dude was collateral damage
//"friendly fire" is when you yell "Ooops! Sorry, dude!" afterward
 
2013-02-23 04:50:31 PM
I hope the seasteaders saw what happened to the carnival triumph before they commit.
 
2013-02-23 04:53:22 PM

A Terrible Human: taoistlumberjak: I think the most tragic part of the citadel is that these people are so paranoid about outside life that they have to live in a walled compound. That speaks of mental illness.

Yeah. Walling yourself up away from the world isn't healthy at all.



Matter of perspective.  The rest of us would be substantially safer, so the average health would increase.
 
2013-02-23 04:56:30 PM

RandomRandom: StrangeQ: I particularly love the no minimum wage bit. Who, exactly, do they think they are going to hire to come put the little umbrellas in their drinks on their glorified floating tiki bar? Yeah, I'm sure there will be people just jumping at the chance to come serve rich people $20 drinks for $2 an hour and never even have the hope for a chance to share in the lifestyle.

Never been on a cruise ship?  Third world nationals will take the jobs.

If they ever get one of these libertarian cruise ships floating, the imagery will be priceless.  A bunch of white folks ordering around brown people to serve their every whim, no minimum wage, probably paying them in company script.

Yeah, that will help the libertarian movement.


That's what I thought. Carnival has this all sewn up.
With mobile goodness.
 
2013-02-23 04:57:31 PM
Bah, if you want to see a real crazy person make their own theme park, check out Murder Castle:
static.environmentalgraffiti.com
 
2013-02-23 05:20:32 PM

Snarfangel: Bah, if you want to see a real crazy person make their own theme park, check out Murder Castle:
[static.environmentalgraffiti.com image 600x511]


I watched the documentary on that on Netflix. The man was a textbook Psychopath.
 
2013-02-23 05:26:57 PM
So.. No roller coasters?
 
2013-02-23 05:51:57 PM

StrangeQ: I particularly love the no minimum wage bit. Who, exactly, do they think they are going to hire to come put the little umbrellas in their drinks on their glorified floating tiki bar? Yeah, I'm sure there will be people just jumping at the chance to come serve rich people $20 drinks for $2 an hour and never even have the hope for a chance to share in the lifestyle.


If I were George Soros, I would pay a bunch of people 100K a year to volunteer for $2/hr grunt work on the libertarian island platform.  Then, once I stack the platform with enough citizens, I'd have them form a political party, vote in a minimum wage law and form a union affiliated with UFCW.  Then they could vote to be the first nation in world history to recognize the entire UN charter of human rights.

That might actually be profitable, if you compare the cost of building one of those things with the cost of acquiring it through a democratic takeover.   Our principal export would be electricity powered by exploding heads.
 
2013-02-23 06:45:21 PM

bob_ross: So.. No roller coasters?


yeah.. fark that noise!
 
2013-02-23 06:47:23 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-23 06:49:45 PM
The best thing about The Citadel is the way each individual neighbourhood is walled off. That'll come in so handy when the people in Suburb A attack those bastards who open their eggs on the wrong end in Suburb B.
 
2013-02-23 06:52:48 PM
The Seasteaders are my all-time favorite whackadoodle libertarian fringers, and that's a very long list of contenders.

Nowhere on the surface of the earth are more invasive, iron-clad restrictions on personal liberties necessary than on a ship (or floating island). The laws of biology and buoyancy will trump your ideology before you lose sight of land. You can run a medium-security prison with more permissiveness than a boat on the open ocean.

I'd chip in some money just for the pleasure of watching them turn into history's greatest fascists.
 
2013-02-23 07:45:47 PM

Xcott: If I were George Soros, I would pay a bunch of people 100K a year to volunteer for $2/hr grunt work on the libertarian island platform.


Give me a wearable hidden camera and I'll do it for half that amount. Would be fun! Would also be profitable when we use the footage to make a documentary about 'em. "Predictable but engrossing" - Mr. Moviephone "Runaway Independent (of the year)" - NY Times movie section

You can go to the Academy Awards to accept our award for both of us. I'm camera shy.

/as long as I'm not caught and thrown overboard/kicked off the island, of course
 
2013-02-23 07:48:38 PM
Lax building codes, huh? First big storm, and no more galt gulchers.
 
2013-02-23 08:17:01 PM
Buying your ammo in boxes of a thousand is just good fiscal sense.

Having more than two thousand of any caliber is a bit excessive.

Unless you have an electric Gatling gun.
 
2013-02-23 08:31:37 PM

Ghastly: The best thing about The Citadel is the way each individual neighbourhood is walled off. That'll come in so handy when the people in Suburb A attack those bastards who open their eggs on the wrong end in Suburb B.


No, the best thing is the single entry gate for both the outer and inner wall.  This will be hilarious when the local kids block it with a giant snowball every winter.
 
2013-02-23 11:36:24 PM
I've been thinking about this way more than I should. I'm assuming that the guns, and tactical go-bags, and panic rooms are all because they're expecting to be invaded by Obamunist troops who've followed the reflective stripes on stop signs to their front doors. So even if they have a year's worth of food and water in their panic room, do they have a year's worth of space for a year's worth of urine and feces? Because a few well placed rags in the sewer hookups of these brave patriots will pretty quickly spoil their freedom air. Unless in this Libertarian paradise they're not bound by regulatory shackles which tell them they can't have septic in the middle of a mid-sized city. In which case, build on, brothers. They should put the sinking of shiat Swamp Castle on Pay-Per-View.
 
2013-02-23 11:48:40 PM
And furthermore, if the population is required to have a year's worth of food and water, a go-bag (which I think my granddad had installed after the stroke, but I'm not great with medical terms), and 1000 rounds of ammunition; who's confirming this? Will there be municipal jackbooted-thugs to audit my food and ammunition stores, or is my neighbor expected to spy upon and oppress me directly? If they authorities claim I don't have enough ammunition and I shoot one of them and bellow "THERE'S 999 MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM, JOHNNY LAW!" is that considered admissible testimony or do I need to submit paperwork?

I really need some questions answered before I seriously consider leaving civilization to live behind a "fortification" constructed without building permits in order to get 40% of my calories from squirrel.
 
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