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(The Sun)   A mom who abandoned her teenage sons to start a new life is shocked that they wanted nothing to do with her years later when she was facing life-threatening surgery   (thesun.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Fail, amputations, sons  
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21221 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Feb 2013 at 3:08 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-02-23 03:19:25 PM  
16 votes:
It's my experience with dead beat parents (like my own father) that once they forgive themselves for their selfish and hurtful actions, they just expect everyone else to do the same. They no longer blame themselves, so why should anyone else? All the sudden your the bad guy for refusing to forgive YEARS of abuse and neglect after one tearful apology. This woman sounds like a worthless piece of shiat mom and I hope her kids never speak to her again.

/daddy issues
2013-02-23 03:12:22 PM  
9 votes:
Wow, the entire article she desperately tried to make it her son's fault.
2013-02-23 03:26:03 PM  
8 votes:
So, a mother of two 16 year old sons is finding her kids falling in with the wrong crowd and being troublesome. . . .

Her solution?  Abandon them, move away, start a new life, then months later tell them they'll have to apologize to her and beg her to come back.

Yeah, real bright solution there Mother Of The Year.

If the 16 years of parenting leading up to her abandoning her kids was just as smart, no wonder the kids turned out as delinquents.
2013-02-23 03:17:27 PM  
8 votes:
What a chav.  Chav is what you limeys call white trash, right?

IMHO, the kids were being little shiats but they were 16 and she needed to step up and be an grownup.  Amazing that she sees herself as blameless.
2013-02-23 03:18:18 PM  
7 votes:
"While I hadn't seen him for five years, that had beenhis choice, not mine. I can't live my life blaming myself and wondering if things would've been different if I'd stayed. What's done is done and I can't change that."

His choice?  HIS? You  moved the fark out, you asswipe, and wanted him to come crawling back instead of growing up and parenting! Every second of his hell was probably of your making.

I seriously hope there's no limit on child-abuse statutes in the UK.
2013-02-23 03:29:20 PM  
5 votes:
reklamfox: It's my experience with dead beat parents (like my own father) that once they forgive themselves for their selfish and hurtful actions, they just expect everyone else to do the same. They no longer blame themselves, so why should anyone else?

Yep, spot on. And they all have a theme song, too. It goes me me me me me me me me.........
And just where is the father in all of this?
2013-02-23 06:53:36 PM  
4 votes:

Fade2black: Yeah...I was outraged until I read how out of control her kids were.



Because someone whose first reaction is to run to a tabloid and drag her kids names through the mud would never have any reason to lie about anything, right?
2013-02-23 05:09:56 PM  
4 votes:

The Evil Home Brewer: He beat his children regularly with the buckle-end of a belt..... Yet, when he was alone and lonely? He wondered why nobody cared for him.... why nobody tried to contact him. He apologized.... Yet claimed he wasn't able to remember what he did as a parent and why nobody liked him.


At least he apologized. After not having any contact with my father for 10 years he found me on facebook and tried to act like everything was fine. I told him exactly how I felt and got a lecture about how he struggled and scrapped for us. No he didn't,he borrowed 87k from his mother over her life. He beat my mom,my sister and me. He screamed and threatened to murder us. He raped my sister and was terribly creepy to me,I can vividly remember being shown a picture of a toddler being molested when I was 10 or 11 and once normal porn, yet I'm supposed to just be fine and accept him into my life again? No. I cannot forgive him for being an absolute monster.
2013-02-23 03:36:09 PM  
4 votes:
If you treat your children like shiat you shouldn't be surprised when they don't give a fark if you die.
/Gonna throw a party when that bastard that is my father dies.
2013-02-23 03:20:29 PM  
4 votes:
No mention of a father anywhere, I see, though something about him is pretty clear.
2013-02-23 08:19:50 PM  
3 votes:
One of her sons wanted nothing to do with her. The other died by his own hand shortly after she made contact. Since she abandoned them, it seems she was not there for them when they need her...why expect them to be there for her? Also, it says at the beginning of the article she had two older children that head left home when she abandoned the twins...what about them?
2013-02-23 05:03:12 PM  
3 votes:
What is wrong with her?  I know that kids are a pain in the butt especially when they get to their teenage years and I certainly could not deal with that crap in my life.
HOWEVER, I knew that way before I ever decided to have sex for the first time and I made damn sure I never got pregnant.
Yeah, I'm a selfish biatch but I have never had children.
Dumb ass people do not think about what it takes to be a good parent forever and do they have what it takes.
I don't.
She is a lousy human being.
2013-02-23 03:46:22 PM  
3 votes:

reklamfox: It's my experience with dead beat parents (like my own father) that once they forgive themselves for their selfish and hurtful actions, they just expect everyone else to do the same. They no longer blame themselves, so why should anyone else? All the sudden your the bad guy for refusing to forgive YEARS of abuse and neglect after one tearful apology. This woman sounds like a worthless piece of shiat mom and I hope her kids never speak to her again.

/daddy issues


I feel your pain. My mother abandoned my father with 5 kids when I was 8 years old. She moved two states away to take up with some guy. We were never homeless, but how does someone do that to kids still clearly dependent on her (the youngest was 3 years old...he can't even remember her)?

Saw her at a funeral a couple of years ago. She gave me a funny little hug and then walked off. I just tell everyone my folks are dead.
2013-02-23 03:31:18 PM  
3 votes:

douchebag/hater: She's a farking mess and now so are her grown children; why is it that only stupid people seem to breed.

And this: fark that paper for running pictures of the kids when they were 5-6; she didn't leave them until they were 16 and from her description all ready on the road to ruin.


...They were swearing and talking back. For my family that's a typical mode of communication (because we're all snarky assholes). But seriously, that's  normal, hardly an indicator of anything. What sort of teens have  youlived with?
2013-02-23 03:27:11 PM  
3 votes:
My loser sister did this. She basically moved a couple of hours away from them to be with her new boyfriend when the were young teenagers, leaving them with their dad and grandmother to finish raising them. Now that they are young adults, she actually gets butthurt that they don't want to have anything to do with her and are embarrassed she is their mom.

/CSS
2013-02-23 03:25:18 PM  
3 votes:
What a biatch!
2013-02-23 03:23:36 PM  
3 votes:

acad1228: Sounds like the bastards needed abandoning.


Then you wait and do it a 18. At 16 they are stupid as shiat and cannot do anything themselves.

This mother deserves the old speeding bus into the pelvis routine.
2013-02-23 03:22:31 PM  
3 votes:
She's a farking mess and now so are her grown children; why is it that only stupid people seem to breed.

And this: fark that paper for running pictures of the kids when they were 5-6; she didn't leave them until they were 16 and from her description all ready on the road to ruin.
2013-02-23 03:21:46 PM  
3 votes:
Devin was found hanged aged just 20 at a friend's house where he and his twin brother were staying at.

Really? Where they were staying at? Bite me, Sun.
2013-02-23 03:16:17 PM  
3 votes:
That poor woman, all she wanted was to be happy even at the cost of her family
2013-02-23 03:13:48 PM  
3 votes:
Sounds like the bastards needed abandoning.
2013-02-23 09:16:27 PM  
2 votes:

douchebag/hater: PsiChick: douchebag/hater: She's a farking mess and now so are her grown children; why is it that only stupid people seem to breed.

And this: fark that paper for running pictures of the kids when they were 5-6; she didn't leave them until they were 16 and from her description all ready on the road to ruin.

...They were swearing and talking back. For my family that's a typical mode of communication (because we're all snarky assholes). But seriously, that's  normal, hardly an indicator of anything. What sort of teens have  youlived with?

None because I was smart enough not to have kids.

As for your family's dysfunction: don't think for a moment that sarcasm and snark are the signs of healthy familial interaction. Just because it was 'normal' for you and your clan doesn't make it actually normal.

See a therapist; you may still be able to be helped.


...Um, no, it's not typical, but it's perfectly normal and healthy, because we recognize when it is and isn't appropriate. I have had severe dysfunction in my life, and while I'm aware you're apparently coming at this from the perspective of someone with no experience whatsoever, there's always some amount of joking around in a family, as well as some amount of any other type of interaction. The variance in families comes from the variance in types and ways of handling each.
2013-02-23 06:29:09 PM  
2 votes:

WeenerGord: Even in America, a 16 year old can apply to be recognized as an emancipated adult. There are always services available, maybe not a direct line to the fabled welfare check but there are plenty of services to help abandoned kids, like foster parents, shelters, church groups, etc.



Most of those programs depend on the parent's income and whether they have been declared unfit. In the case of church groups, they usually have asinine requirements bordering on the stuff we hear about Scientology.

Also, how many employers willingly hire a homeless 16 year old when there are hordes of college graduates lining up for interviews? How many landlords would immediately rent to a 16 year old making minimum wage with no credit when they have a 6+ month waiting list of people with near-perfect credit and a much higher wage?


WeenerGord: Many shelters won't accept the homeless if they are drunk or high, which is why some homeless don't go to them.



Most shelters also don't accept anyone under 18 unless accompanied by a parent or guardian.


WeenerGord: And if the person wants to continue school or get a job, I am sure they could find plenty of grants and programs to help them.



Citation please? As far as I know, such grants simply don't exist. And believe me, I did look.
2013-02-23 06:27:08 PM  
2 votes:
I would say she's reapimg what she sowed, but I think she's doing all this in an attempt to guilt the kids into a very casual relationship with them... Maybe going to brunch together, bi weekly phone calls? as soon as things get kinda thick, mom will be out the door again.
2013-02-23 05:47:00 PM  
2 votes:

Mentalpatient87: TV's Vinnie: This may be the first time I have ever read a tale where the parent was perfectly justified for leaving. Sounds like these sons were a pair of absolute douchebags.

It's not like they were little tykes when she left. They were teens who were well into their rotten ways by the time she moved on.

Who raised them to be rotten, I wonder?


And who says that those kids were rotten... a mother who sounds like a sociopath.
2013-02-23 04:38:09 PM  
2 votes:
"I just kept seeing my baby boy's beautiful, smiling face in my mind and wondering why?

Cos yer a shiate mum?

Just a thought.

/I find myself unable to muster up even a crumb of empathy for any of the people in this story.
//Is that wrong?
///Should I feel bad about that?
2013-02-23 04:35:39 PM  
2 votes:

douchebag/hater: She's a farking mess and now so are her grown children; why is it that only stupid people seem to breed.



Why the fark WOULDN'T they breed?

Idiots keep insisting on supplementing their lifestyle with tax funded housing, medical care, and food assistance, so why the fark not have a bunch of kids? More kids = more money from YOU via tax dollars.


Maybe, just maybe, if they DIDN'T have the option to tie directly into the tax payer to supplement their poor life decisions, we wouldn't have so many.


People have their own g'damn kids to worry about, let alone the spawn from some hapless coont who spreads her legs willy nilly and expects somebody else to pay for it. "Mommy" is great with little children, but they SUCK at raising teen boys, as the housing projects and "council estates" will attest.
2013-02-23 04:29:17 PM  
2 votes:

Stone Meadow: reklamfox: Stone Meadow: My mother abandoned my father with 5 kids when I was 8 years old. She moved two states away to take up with some guy.

You and me both buddy. It's just easier to tell people I'm an orphan than to explain that I drew the genetic short straw and both my lousy parents aren't worth damn.

And by "abandoned" I mean she put us on the school bus one morning without saying a thing. That afternoon an Aunt picked us 3 older kids from school with the younger two in the car with her. My mom never said goodbye, called, explained what happen. Nothing.


I'm going to break with fark's usual callousness and just say no kid should have that happen that way - that's F'd up, and I'm sorry to hear man.  That's beyond "makes you stronger" territory and well into "neurosis in later life" territory.
2013-02-23 04:28:42 PM  
2 votes:

Mattyb710: orbister: JonZoidberg: What a chav.  Chav is what you limeys call white trash, right?

IMHO, the kids were being little shiats but they were 16 and she needed to step up and be an grownup.  Amazing that she sees herself as blameless.

She did the grown up thing. She said "Ok, you are technically adults, so if you won't listen to me, you're on your own. Here's where I am if you need me." It's not very impressive that things got to that state, but given that they had, her action was reasonable.

As I previously posted, it's also pretty damn ridiculous that at 16 they are helpless, defenseless children, but as soon as they turn 18 they are now able adults who can care for themselves.
The mother did nothing wrong.


You are aware that you're not making a compelling excuse for this coont, and instead are making yourselves look like horrible people, right? I mean, it's cool if you wanna be horrible people. However, you're not making her look any better, you're making yourselves look worse. Just so you know.
2013-02-23 04:14:04 PM  
2 votes:

JeffMD: acad1228: Sounds like the bastards needed abandoning.


Bullshiat. The kind of mother who would abandon her children to start a new life with a boytoy won't have spent much effort raising them responsibly either.
2013-02-23 03:59:59 PM  
2 votes:
Anyone who hurts, abandons, or neglects someone else in order that they might "find themself" needs to be put against a wall and shot.

Especially if you do this to your children. Once you have kids, it's no longer "all about you"
2013-02-23 03:42:28 PM  
2 votes:

orbister: JonZoidberg: What a chav.  Chav is what you limeys call white trash, right?

IMHO, the kids were being little shiats but they were 16 and she needed to step up and be an grownup.  Amazing that she sees herself as blameless.

She did the grown up thing. She said "Ok, you are technically adults, so if you won't listen to me, you're on your own. Here's where I am if you need me." It's not very impressive that things got to that state, but given that they had, her action was reasonable.


At 16, they were not technically adults - they were still minors under the law, suddenly being w/o a home or parent, but not orphaned, probably made it difficult to get any services, especially if their mom had means of support. Also we only have her word about their behavior, no-one has interviewed the surviving twin.
2013-02-23 03:41:42 PM  
2 votes:

Mattyb710: As I previously posted, it's also pretty damn ridiculous that at 16 they are helpless, defenseless children, but as soon as they turn 18 they are now able adults who can care for themselves.


There is a huge difference between a 16 year old and an 18 year old.  Also:

Silverstaff: If the 16 years of parenting leading up to her abandoning her kids was just as smart, no wonder the kids turned out as delinquents.

2013-02-23 03:36:10 PM  
2 votes:
These are all just horrible, terrible people. She's a bit of a coont and her kids are aholes.
2013-02-23 03:29:14 PM  
2 votes:
IIRC, in the UK they can legally leave home at 16. Instead of moving out, she could have kicked them out for being little shiats. If that's legal, of course. You never know.

/I know in Wales and England you can join the army at 16
//so there they go - no homelessness necessary, slackers
2013-02-23 03:23:37 PM  
2 votes:
Well, that's the most infuriating thing I've read in a long time.
2013-02-23 03:19:22 PM  
2 votes:

acad1228: Sounds like the bastards needed abandoning.


i6.photobucket.com
2013-02-23 03:18:29 PM  
2 votes:
She made her bed, now she must lie in it.
2013-02-23 03:18:08 PM  
2 votes:
God damn, what a horrible woman.  The world will be better off without her or her bloodline.
2013-02-24 01:46:37 PM  
1 vote:

Adingo8mybb: A substantial portion of the world's problems can be traced back to a shiatty mother.


Rock the cradle, rule the world
2013-02-24 12:00:37 PM  
1 vote:
I dont know why people keep trying to pick sides. that whole family needs to be burned to the ground.
2013-02-24 01:14:25 AM  
1 vote:

Old Gnarled Oak: Mentalpatient87: TV's Vinnie: This may be the first time I have ever read a tale where the parent was perfectly justified for leaving. Sounds like these sons were a pair of absolute douchebags.

It's not like they were little tykes when she left. They were teens who were well into their rotten ways by the time she moved on.

Who raised them to be rotten, I wonder?

And who says that those kids were rotten... a mother who sounds like a sociopath.

Mentalpatient87: TV's Vinnie: This may be the first time I have ever read a tale where the parent was perfectly justified for leaving. Sounds like these sons were a pair of absolute douchebags.

It's not like they were little tykes when she left. They were teens who were well into their rotten ways by the time she moved on.

Who raised them to be rotten, I wonder?


This.

Yea when the kids were 16 it sounds like they were disrespectful little turds at best,,,but why?  Because they were raised by a loving supportive mother and just happened to have a triple copy of the asshole gene?  Or could it, just possibly, have been something about the way they were raised that affected their attitudes?

Teenagers in general tend toward the unstable side and push their boundaries...which is both very irritating and quite normal at that stage of maturation.  But really rotten teens usually grow from rotten little kids who were raised in a thick manure of crappy parenting.  Sounds like mom made a mess of things and bailed as soon as her kids were old enough that she wouldn't get charged with child abandonment.  Her shock that her sons would later proceed to abandon her is very natural but hey, you reap what you sow.
2013-02-24 12:10:10 AM  
1 vote:
Her kids need to understand that she was there for a good part of their childhood and did for them as she could.

They should offer to take care of her. Say, for instance, she needed a ride to the hospital. They should go and pick her up and take her about 70% of the way there and then throw her out of the car. That's fair.
2013-02-23 11:23:27 PM  
1 vote:

Gawdzila: Of course they didn't ask her to come back -- they're impulsive teenagers and they were having fun and parties and probably spending half the time at their friends houses, they didn't even consider that their own mom would simply up and leave them permanently.  It isn't a possibility that would have even entered their thoughts.

The truth is that she's simply unable to take responsibility for her actions and constantly shifts blame.  She finds it completely acceptable to abandon others because they aren't serving her needs, while simultaneously finding it shocking that others would do the same to her.  She is pathologically selfish, and completely devoid (and probably incapable) of the unconditional love that parents generally exhibit towards their children.



You evidently have a rich fantasy life, and made up a story in your mind, in which, OF COURSE, they didn't need her, and yet, she was PATHOLOGICAL for picking up an that, and getting the fark on with her own life.

Sound like YOU have mommy issues, and demand that biatches kiss your ass all the time, or fark them to hell if they have their own life, right? Seen your kind many times before.

For guys like you, it is ALWAYS, TOTALLY the coonts fault. No matter what you do to them. Right?
2013-02-23 11:06:50 PM  
1 vote:
/I find myself unable to muster up even a crumb of empathy for any of the people in this story.

I feel sorry for the surviving twin. Sure he might have gotten a little wild when he was 16 (we don't know the details), but there are a lot of kids who do and have parents that straighten them out. Then he gets abandoned (evidently for a second time because dad was nowhere to be seen) and gets to watch his twin go into a death spiral while the mom who left them calls in periodically to give guilt trips.
2013-02-23 11:00:52 PM  
1 vote:

Crotchrocket Slim: JonZoidberg: What a chav.  Chav is what you limeys call white trash, right?

IMHO, the kids were being little shiats but they were 16 and she needed to step up and be an grownup.  Amazing that she sees herself as blameless.

For anyone sympathetic to this woman, the bold is the only relevant thing here.


Bearing in mind that they were under no obligation to live at home, and that subsequent events showed them to be write content to live without her (remember that she was nearby for a couple of years, what do you think she should have done? In detail, please, and not just "been an adult" or "parented".
2013-02-23 09:56:39 PM  
1 vote:

A Terrible Human: The Evil Home Brewer: He beat his children regularly with the buckle-end of a belt..... Yet, when he was alone and lonely? He wondered why nobody cared for him.... why nobody tried to contact him. He apologized.... Yet claimed he wasn't able to remember what he did as a parent and why nobody liked him.

At least he apologized.


Eh.. he didn't really.
Saying sorry but then claiming not to remember doing anything wrong is basically an attempt to manipulatively assuage someone else's feelings without accepting guilt or responsibility.  He isn't making any personal or emotional connection to the apology, it's just words.

Sorry to hear about your "father figure", if you could call him that, by the way.  One of my cousins who I was pretty close to had an awful father, too, but it sounds like you had it worse.  You're absolutely right not to forgive him or let him into your life, he doesn't deserve it.  Ideally he'd have been thrown in prison long ago before he could perpetrate most of those horrors on you.
2013-02-23 09:40:20 PM  
1 vote:

Bslim: These are all just horrible, terrible people. She's a bit of a coont and her kids are aholes.


No, her kids were being teenagers.  The lady was a horrendous selfish biatch who didn't understand that being a parent is not about her own feelings.


WeenerGord: The young men were in gangs when she left. Maybe she had to escape them for her own safety.


I don't see why you'd assume that instead of taking the article at its word.  Aside from the fact that she probably had no idea what her kids were actually doing, she says in the article specifically that she left because they talked back and she didn't feel respected (i.e. they acted like teenagers).  Then she simply assumed that they didn't need her anymore just because they didn't ask her to move back in.  In all likelyhood this is simply what she considers a reasonable excuse, and in actuality she did it because leaving was more gratifying to her.  But even if that was the real reason, it's incredibly stupid.  Of course they didn't ask her to come back -- they're impulsive teenagers and they were having fun and parties and probably spending half the time at their friends houses, they didn't even consider that their own mom would simply up and leave them permanently.  It isn't a possibility that would have even entered their thoughts.

The truth is that she's simply unable to take responsibility for her actions and constantly shifts blame.  She finds it completely acceptable to abandon others because they aren't serving her needs, while simultaneously finding it shocking that others would do the same to her.  She is pathologically selfish, and completely devoid (and probably incapable) of the unconditional love that parents generally exhibit towards their children.
2013-02-23 08:57:57 PM  
1 vote:

PsiChick: douchebag/hater: She's a farking mess and now so are her grown children; why is it that only stupid people seem to breed.

And this: fark that paper for running pictures of the kids when they were 5-6; she didn't leave them until they were 16 and from her description all ready on the road to ruin.

...They were swearing and talking back. For my family that's a typical mode of communication (because we're all snarky assholes). But seriously, that's  normal, hardly an indicator of anything. What sort of teens have  youlived with?


None because I was smart enough not to have kids.

As for your family's dysfunction: don't think for a moment that sarcasm and snark are the signs of healthy familial interaction. Just because it was 'normal' for you and your clan doesn't make it actually normal.

See a therapist; you may still be able to be helped.
2013-02-23 07:10:42 PM  
1 vote:

the ha ha guy: Fade2black: Yeah...I was outraged until I read how out of control her kids were.


Because someone whose first reaction is to run to a tabloid and drag her kids names through the mud would never have any reason to lie about anything, right?


Her, the kids, the absent father, the tabloid...all useless nitwits.
2013-02-23 06:41:38 PM  
1 vote:
I'm think England has more of a problem than the USA for growns up who won't act like grown ups raising angry uncontrollable children who then repeat the problem when they then start producing children without any forethought or knowledge. Wanting your child to be your best buddy while binge drinking and acting like a teenager...terrible idea.
2013-02-23 06:37:13 PM  
1 vote:

DS1970: As soon as I saw a picture of the twins, I knew immediately why they were so much trouble.

Successful AA my f*cking ass.  We all know, right?  It's The Great White Secret - we really know our "prejudice" is totally justified.  We all know who and what they are...it's just never said out-loud.

Shiftless, lazy, and are 99.9% likely to become "thugs".  F*ck 'em.  F*ck the "mom", too...why the f*ck did she have to breed?


Some trolls are clever. Some bring welcome debate. Racist trolls? Waste of typing.
2013-02-23 06:22:10 PM  
1 vote:
DS1970
As soon as I saw a picture of the twins, I knew immediately why they were so much trouble.

Successful AA my f*cking ass.  We all know, right?  It's The Great White Secret - we really know our "prejudice" is totally justified.  We all know who and what they are...it's just never said out-loud.

Shiftless, lazy, and are 99.9% likely to become "thugs".  F*ck 'em.  F*ck the "mom", too...why the f*ck did she have to breed?


Welcome to my ignore list you racist asshole.
2013-02-23 06:14:32 PM  
1 vote:
My FIL died New Year's Eve. Like everything else the miserable POS did, he inconvenienced everyone. He beat the kids, beat the dog, broke things, took a baseball bat to one of the girls, tried to choke one of the boys, kicked one of the boys into unconsciousness, and tried to stab another one. When he got out of hand one Thanksgiving, the oldest ripped the knife from the turkey and promised the bastard that he'd kill him if he ever set hands on him again.

We missed the funeral, but went back to see the family a couple weeks late. Everyone was relieved he was gone. I've never seen my MIL happier.
2013-02-23 06:12:29 PM  
1 vote:

DS1970: we really know our "prejudice" is totally justified.


YOUR prejudice. Not mine. Bigot.
2013-02-23 06:05:03 PM  
1 vote:

JonZoidberg: What a chav.  Chav is what you limeys call white trash, right?

IMHO, the kids were being little shiats but they were 16 and she needed to step up and be an grownup.  Amazing that she sees herself as blameless.


For anyone sympathetic to this woman, the bold is the only relevant thing here.
2013-02-23 05:48:26 PM  
1 vote:

Lord Jubjub: Anybody got a picture of a cat in a cradle?


3.bp.blogspot.com
2013-02-23 05:43:35 PM  
1 vote:

TV's Vinnie: This may be the first time I have ever read a tale where the parent was perfectly justified for leaving. Sounds like these sons were a pair of absolute douchebags.

It's not like they were little tykes when she left. They were teens who were well into their rotten ways by the time she moved on.


Who raised them to be rotten, I wonder?
2013-02-23 05:09:28 PM  
1 vote:

Mattyb710: I'm not seeing the problem. If she had waited 2 years before leaving everyone would agree with her choice, but since the boys were 16 it's all her fault. Our obsession with arbitrary numbers is baffling.


No, she'd still be worthless at 18, just less so because they'd have at least a reasonable chance of being able to support themselves by then.
2013-02-23 04:48:29 PM  
1 vote:
Since we're sharing shiatty parent stories:

My mother spent the first 14 years of my life divorcing my dad (and in Indiana there's no way he'd have gotten custody), drinking away the utilities bills, and drunkenly trying to turn me and my sisters against aforementioned father. Eventually she went to jail for a year or so, and I moved in with dad. She quit drinking, went into AA, and propped herself nicely upon a cross... Now she's homeless, combative if she doesn't get her way, possibly schizophrenic, and tried to show up on my sister's doorstep unannounced to just move on in. Apologies? Hardly a word more than "I drank! It's in the PAST!" Get a job? Oh no, she's got some BS hand injury from twelve years ago. Support herself? Why that's preposterous! She gave birth to us, obviously that means us kids have to carry her through the rest of her life!
2013-02-23 04:38:59 PM  
1 vote:

reklamfox: It's my experience with dead beat parents (like my own father) that once they forgive themselves for their selfish and hurtful actions, they just expect everyone else to do the same. They no longer blame themselves, so why should anyone else? All the sudden your the bad guy for refusing to forgive YEARS of abuse and neglect after one tearful apology. This woman sounds like a worthless piece of shiat mom and I hope her kids never speak to her again.

/daddy issues


No kidding.... My wife's Dad did basically the same thing. He farked every piece of trash for years before he divorced his wife. He beat his children regularly with the buckle-end of a belt..... Yet, when he was alone and lonely? He wondered why nobody cared for him.... why nobody tried to contact him. He apologized.... Yet claimed he wasn't able to remember what he did as a parent and why nobody liked him. I'd be willing to accept Alzheimer's as an excuse.... Except that was 12 years ago and he's still fine.

A-Hole
2013-02-23 04:35:37 PM  
1 vote:
In this case, the son is not there.
2013-02-23 04:33:09 PM  
1 vote:
Yeah, I should have tied that back to the story linked,  guess.  My point was that speaking from the perspective of someone who had something similar happen to them, I fully understand why the brothers didn't contact mom.  Just crapping out a kid doesn't entitle you to their unconditional love forever, no  matter what you do, or if you are around or not.

The mom in this story walked away, and then was hurt (and griped to a media outlet)  when they didn't come rushing to her aid when her life got sucky.  My point was that if you show your children that you don't care about them, don't be shocked when they return that sentiment if you change your mind later in life.
2013-02-23 04:21:04 PM  
1 vote:
She said: "I texted the boys to say where I was and that they'd have to come and apologise if they wanted me home."....She added: "It was time for me to move on. They were just making my life a misery."Donna's sudden exit left her sons homeless - but she did not see it as her concern anymore

The line above tells me alot. Most people just "become" uncontrollable on their own. You try to see the good in most people but wow...what a horrible person.
2013-02-23 04:20:56 PM  
1 vote:
I haven't seen my mother since I was 14.  She had her own life to lead, and things just weren't working out between us, so she just said it would be best if we just parted ways.   I have no desire at all to reconnect with her.  I don't know or care if she's dead, alive, or sitting in a crappy nursing home all alone wondering why she's alone.

She did me a favor when she walked out of my life.
2013-02-23 04:07:04 PM  
1 vote:

reklamfox: Stone Meadow: My mother abandoned my father with 5 kids when I was 8 years old. She moved two states away to take up with some guy.

You and me both buddy. It's just easier to tell people I'm an orphan than to explain that I drew the genetic short straw and both my lousy parents aren't worth damn.


And by "abandoned" I mean she put us on the school bus one morning without saying a thing. That afternoon an Aunt picked us 3 older kids from school with the younger two in the car with her. My mom never said goodbye, called, explained what happen. Nothing.
2013-02-23 04:05:44 PM  
1 vote:

fuzzlespoke: At 16, they were not technically adults - they were still minors under the law, suddenly being w/o a home or parent, but not orphaned, probably made it difficult to get any services, especially if their mom had means of support.



Not sure Britain is different, but that's exactly how it works in the US.

/Left home at 16
//Lived under a tarp in a barn until 19
2013-02-23 04:05:15 PM  
1 vote:

Easy Reader: Hmmm.  It appears as though "One reaps what one sows".  I must look further into that concept.


I sorta consider it as the universe smacking the shiat out of you for being an ass.
2013-02-23 03:57:00 PM  
1 vote:

Stone Meadow: reklamfox: It's my experience with dead beat parents (like my own father) that once they forgive themselves for their selfish and hurtful actions, they just expect everyone else to do the same. They no longer blame themselves, so why should anyone else? All the sudden your the bad guy for refusing to forgive YEARS of abuse and neglect after one tearful apology. This woman sounds like a worthless piece of shiat mom and I hope her kids never speak to her again.

/daddy issues

I feel your pain. My mother abandoned my father with 5 kids when I was 8 years old. She moved two states away to take up with some guy. We were never homeless, but how does someone do that to kids still clearly dependent on her (the youngest was 3 years old...he can't even remember her)?

Saw her at a funeral a couple of years ago. She gave me a funny little hug and then walked off. I just tell everyone my folks are dead.


You and me both buddy. It's just easier to tell people I'm an orphan than to explain that I drew the genetic short straw and both my lousy parents aren't worth damn.
2013-02-23 03:45:57 PM  
1 vote:
I'm thinking about Horton hatches an egg
2013-02-23 03:30:25 PM  
1 vote:

JonZoidberg: What a chav.  Chav is what you limeys call white trash, right?

IMHO, the kids were being little shiats but they were 16 and she needed to step up and be an grownup.  Amazing that she sees herself as blameless.


I don't think they need to be white, just culturally Bri'ish.  But yeah, they all look like council flat dwellers.
2013-02-23 03:30:07 PM  
1 vote:
Have that boy washed and sent to my room.

/he was a tastey looking 20.... What? He's legal, and ill give him back when I'm done....
2013-02-23 03:29:31 PM  
1 vote:
The surviving kid should challenge her to an ass kicking contest.
2013-02-23 03:26:42 PM  
1 vote:
The one son who hanged himself at age 20 has a pretty good excuse for not being there.
2013-02-23 03:24:10 PM  
1 vote:

PsiChick: "While I hadn't seen him for five years, that had beenhis choice, not mine. I can't live my life blaming myself and wondering if things would've been different if I'd stayed. What's done is done and I can't change that."

His choice?  HIS? You  moved the fark out, you asswipe, and wanted him to come crawling back instead of growing up and parenting! Every second of his hell was probably of your making.

I seriously hope there's no limit on child-abuse statutes in the UK.


She won't have a leg to stand on.
2013-02-23 03:23:20 PM  
1 vote:
Way to abandon your kids...
2013-02-23 03:19:08 PM  
1 vote:
I'm not seeing the problem. If she had waited 2 years before leaving everyone would agree with her choice, but since the boys were 16 it's all her fault. Our obsession with arbitrary numbers is baffling.
2013-02-23 03:18:14 PM  
1 vote:
Mum of the year. Sounds like the kids need a quick trip behind the woodshed.
2013-02-23 03:15:25 PM  
1 vote:
Tot mom or tut mum?
2013-02-23 03:14:49 PM  
1 vote:

acad1228: Sounds like the bastards needed abandoning.

2013-02-23 03:13:07 PM  
1 vote:
It sounds like they cut her off before the amputation.
2013-02-23 03:09:10 PM  
1 vote:
that hurts
 
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