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(The Sun)   A mom who abandoned her teenage sons to start a new life is shocked that they wanted nothing to do with her years later when she was facing life-threatening surgery   (thesun.co.uk) divider line 143
    More: Fail, amputations, sons  
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21200 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Feb 2013 at 3:08 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-23 03:45:57 PM
I'm thinking about Horton hatches an egg
 
2013-02-23 03:46:22 PM

reklamfox: It's my experience with dead beat parents (like my own father) that once they forgive themselves for their selfish and hurtful actions, they just expect everyone else to do the same. They no longer blame themselves, so why should anyone else? All the sudden your the bad guy for refusing to forgive YEARS of abuse and neglect after one tearful apology. This woman sounds like a worthless piece of shiat mom and I hope her kids never speak to her again.

/daddy issues


I feel your pain. My mother abandoned my father with 5 kids when I was 8 years old. She moved two states away to take up with some guy. We were never homeless, but how does someone do that to kids still clearly dependent on her (the youngest was 3 years old...he can't even remember her)?

Saw her at a funeral a couple of years ago. She gave me a funny little hug and then walked off. I just tell everyone my folks are dead.
 
2013-02-23 03:57:00 PM

Stone Meadow: reklamfox: It's my experience with dead beat parents (like my own father) that once they forgive themselves for their selfish and hurtful actions, they just expect everyone else to do the same. They no longer blame themselves, so why should anyone else? All the sudden your the bad guy for refusing to forgive YEARS of abuse and neglect after one tearful apology. This woman sounds like a worthless piece of shiat mom and I hope her kids never speak to her again.

/daddy issues

I feel your pain. My mother abandoned my father with 5 kids when I was 8 years old. She moved two states away to take up with some guy. We were never homeless, but how does someone do that to kids still clearly dependent on her (the youngest was 3 years old...he can't even remember her)?

Saw her at a funeral a couple of years ago. She gave me a funny little hug and then walked off. I just tell everyone my folks are dead.


You and me both buddy. It's just easier to tell people I'm an orphan than to explain that I drew the genetic short straw and both my lousy parents aren't worth damn.
 
2013-02-23 03:58:31 PM

Molavian: God damn, what a horrible woman.


If that were my mum, I would have told her to shove her amputated limbs up her arse
 
2013-02-23 03:59:59 PM
Anyone who hurts, abandons, or neglects someone else in order that they might "find themself" needs to be put against a wall and shot.

Especially if you do this to your children. Once you have kids, it's no longer "all about you"
 
2013-02-23 04:01:29 PM
Hmmm.  It appears as though "One reaps what one sows".  I must look further into that concept.
 
2013-02-23 04:04:09 PM

Mattyb710: I'm not seeing the problem. If she had waited 2 years before leaving everyone would agree with her choice, but since the boys were 16 it's all her fault. Our obsession with arbitrary numbers is baffling.


You sound all under age molesty.
 
2013-02-23 04:05:15 PM

Easy Reader: Hmmm.  It appears as though "One reaps what one sows".  I must look further into that concept.


I sorta consider it as the universe smacking the shiat out of you for being an ass.
 
2013-02-23 04:05:44 PM

fuzzlespoke: At 16, they were not technically adults - they were still minors under the law, suddenly being w/o a home or parent, but not orphaned, probably made it difficult to get any services, especially if their mom had means of support.



Not sure Britain is different, but that's exactly how it works in the US.

/Left home at 16
//Lived under a tarp in a barn until 19
 
2013-02-23 04:06:43 PM
No winners here.
 
2013-02-23 04:07:04 PM

reklamfox: Stone Meadow: My mother abandoned my father with 5 kids when I was 8 years old. She moved two states away to take up with some guy.

You and me both buddy. It's just easier to tell people I'm an orphan than to explain that I drew the genetic short straw and both my lousy parents aren't worth damn.


And by "abandoned" I mean she put us on the school bus one morning without saying a thing. That afternoon an Aunt picked us 3 older kids from school with the younger two in the car with her. My mom never said goodbye, called, explained what happen. Nothing.
 
2013-02-23 04:14:04 PM

JeffMD: acad1228: Sounds like the bastards needed abandoning.


Bullshiat. The kind of mother who would abandon her children to start a new life with a boytoy won't have spent much effort raising them responsibly either.
 
2013-02-23 04:20:56 PM
I haven't seen my mother since I was 14.  She had her own life to lead, and things just weren't working out between us, so she just said it would be best if we just parted ways.   I have no desire at all to reconnect with her.  I don't know or care if she's dead, alive, or sitting in a crappy nursing home all alone wondering why she's alone.

She did me a favor when she walked out of my life.
 
2013-02-23 04:21:04 PM
She said: "I texted the boys to say where I was and that they'd have to come and apologise if they wanted me home."....She added: "It was time for me to move on. They were just making my life a misery."Donna's sudden exit left her sons homeless - but she did not see it as her concern anymore

The line above tells me alot. Most people just "become" uncontrollable on their own. You try to see the good in most people but wow...what a horrible person.
 
2013-02-23 04:23:56 PM
* just don't "become"
 
2013-02-23 04:24:23 PM

Tealeaf: I haven't seen my mother since I was 14.  She had her own life to lead, and things just weren't working out between us, so she just said it would be best if we just parted ways.   I have no desire at all to reconnect with her.  I don't know or care if she's dead, alive, or sitting in a crappy nursing home all alone wondering why she's alone.

She did me a favor when she walked out of my life.


CSB
 
2013-02-23 04:26:58 PM
The dad is an asshole too- a bigger one for never being there.
Also, abandoning your kids is about the last thing I would expect to improve their behavior.


But, I doubt any of this actually happened anyway.
I don't believe anything in the Sun, much less a tabloid with a cover like that.
 
2013-02-23 04:27:39 PM

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: Devin was found hanged aged just 20 at a friend's house where he and his twin brother were staying at.

Really? Where they were staying at? Bite me, Sun.


o_O
 
2013-02-23 04:28:42 PM

Mattyb710: orbister: JonZoidberg: What a chav.  Chav is what you limeys call white trash, right?

IMHO, the kids were being little shiats but they were 16 and she needed to step up and be an grownup.  Amazing that she sees herself as blameless.

She did the grown up thing. She said "Ok, you are technically adults, so if you won't listen to me, you're on your own. Here's where I am if you need me." It's not very impressive that things got to that state, but given that they had, her action was reasonable.

As I previously posted, it's also pretty damn ridiculous that at 16 they are helpless, defenseless children, but as soon as they turn 18 they are now able adults who can care for themselves.
The mother did nothing wrong.


You are aware that you're not making a compelling excuse for this coont, and instead are making yourselves look like horrible people, right? I mean, it's cool if you wanna be horrible people. However, you're not making her look any better, you're making yourselves look worse. Just so you know.
 
2013-02-23 04:29:17 PM

Stone Meadow: reklamfox: Stone Meadow: My mother abandoned my father with 5 kids when I was 8 years old. She moved two states away to take up with some guy.

You and me both buddy. It's just easier to tell people I'm an orphan than to explain that I drew the genetic short straw and both my lousy parents aren't worth damn.

And by "abandoned" I mean she put us on the school bus one morning without saying a thing. That afternoon an Aunt picked us 3 older kids from school with the younger two in the car with her. My mom never said goodbye, called, explained what happen. Nothing.


I'm going to break with fark's usual callousness and just say no kid should have that happen that way - that's F'd up, and I'm sorry to hear man.  That's beyond "makes you stronger" territory and well into "neurosis in later life" territory.
 
2013-02-23 04:32:29 PM

Orange-Pippin: She said: "I texted the boys to say where I was and that they'd have to come and apologise if they wanted me home."....She added: "It was time for me to move on. They were just making my life a misery."Donna's sudden exit left her sons homeless - but she did not see it as her concern anymore

The line above tells me alot. Most people just "become" uncontrollable on their own. You try to see the good in most people but wow...what a horrible person.



It definitely is all about her

ALL ABOUT HER

ALL ABOUT HER

hey - she's an attention whore and she knows of what she does
 
2013-02-23 04:33:09 PM
Yeah, I should have tied that back to the story linked,  guess.  My point was that speaking from the perspective of someone who had something similar happen to them, I fully understand why the brothers didn't contact mom.  Just crapping out a kid doesn't entitle you to their unconditional love forever, no  matter what you do, or if you are around or not.

The mom in this story walked away, and then was hurt (and griped to a media outlet)  when they didn't come rushing to her aid when her life got sucky.  My point was that if you show your children that you don't care about them, don't be shocked when they return that sentiment if you change your mind later in life.
 
2013-02-23 04:33:27 PM

Somaticasual: I'm going to break with fark's usual callousness and just say


i.telegraph.co.uk

Ten-minute penalty.
 
2013-02-23 04:35:02 PM
Sheesh, between this and the motorcycle thread, I wonder if half of Fark ODed on the stupid pills this morning.
 
2013-02-23 04:35:37 PM
In this case, the son is not there.
 
2013-02-23 04:35:39 PM

douchebag/hater: She's a farking mess and now so are her grown children; why is it that only stupid people seem to breed.



Why the fark WOULDN'T they breed?

Idiots keep insisting on supplementing their lifestyle with tax funded housing, medical care, and food assistance, so why the fark not have a bunch of kids? More kids = more money from YOU via tax dollars.


Maybe, just maybe, if they DIDN'T have the option to tie directly into the tax payer to supplement their poor life decisions, we wouldn't have so many.


People have their own g'damn kids to worry about, let alone the spawn from some hapless coont who spreads her legs willy nilly and expects somebody else to pay for it. "Mommy" is great with little children, but they SUCK at raising teen boys, as the housing projects and "council estates" will attest.
 
2013-02-23 04:38:09 PM
"I just kept seeing my baby boy's beautiful, smiling face in my mind and wondering why?

Cos yer a shiate mum?

Just a thought.

/I find myself unable to muster up even a crumb of empathy for any of the people in this story.
//Is that wrong?
///Should I feel bad about that?
 
2013-02-23 04:38:59 PM

reklamfox: It's my experience with dead beat parents (like my own father) that once they forgive themselves for their selfish and hurtful actions, they just expect everyone else to do the same. They no longer blame themselves, so why should anyone else? All the sudden your the bad guy for refusing to forgive YEARS of abuse and neglect after one tearful apology. This woman sounds like a worthless piece of shiat mom and I hope her kids never speak to her again.

/daddy issues


No kidding.... My wife's Dad did basically the same thing. He farked every piece of trash for years before he divorced his wife. He beat his children regularly with the buckle-end of a belt..... Yet, when he was alone and lonely? He wondered why nobody cared for him.... why nobody tried to contact him. He apologized.... Yet claimed he wasn't able to remember what he did as a parent and why nobody liked him. I'd be willing to accept Alzheimer's as an excuse.... Except that was 12 years ago and he's still fine.

A-Hole
 
2013-02-23 04:47:43 PM
images.wikia.com
 
2013-02-23 04:48:29 PM
Since we're sharing shiatty parent stories:

My mother spent the first 14 years of my life divorcing my dad (and in Indiana there's no way he'd have gotten custody), drinking away the utilities bills, and drunkenly trying to turn me and my sisters against aforementioned father. Eventually she went to jail for a year or so, and I moved in with dad. She quit drinking, went into AA, and propped herself nicely upon a cross... Now she's homeless, combative if she doesn't get her way, possibly schizophrenic, and tried to show up on my sister's doorstep unannounced to just move on in. Apologies? Hardly a word more than "I drank! It's in the PAST!" Get a job? Oh no, she's got some BS hand injury from twelve years ago. Support herself? Why that's preposterous! She gave birth to us, obviously that means us kids have to carry her through the rest of her life!
 
2013-02-23 05:03:12 PM
What is wrong with her?  I know that kids are a pain in the butt especially when they get to their teenage years and I certainly could not deal with that crap in my life.
HOWEVER, I knew that way before I ever decided to have sex for the first time and I made damn sure I never got pregnant.
Yeah, I'm a selfish biatch but I have never had children.
Dumb ass people do not think about what it takes to be a good parent forever and do they have what it takes.
I don't.
She is a lousy human being.
 
2013-02-23 05:04:39 PM

PapaChester: acad1228: Sounds like the bastards needed abandoning.

Then you wait and do it a 18. At 16 they are stupid as shiat and cannot do anything themselves.

This mother deserves the old speeding bus into the pelvis routine.


Isn't that how that whole mess got started?
 
2013-02-23 05:09:28 PM

Mattyb710: I'm not seeing the problem. If she had waited 2 years before leaving everyone would agree with her choice, but since the boys were 16 it's all her fault. Our obsession with arbitrary numbers is baffling.


No, she'd still be worthless at 18, just less so because they'd have at least a reasonable chance of being able to support themselves by then.
 
2013-02-23 05:09:56 PM

The Evil Home Brewer: He beat his children regularly with the buckle-end of a belt..... Yet, when he was alone and lonely? He wondered why nobody cared for him.... why nobody tried to contact him. He apologized.... Yet claimed he wasn't able to remember what he did as a parent and why nobody liked him.


At least he apologized. After not having any contact with my father for 10 years he found me on facebook and tried to act like everything was fine. I told him exactly how I felt and got a lecture about how he struggled and scrapped for us. No he didn't,he borrowed 87k from his mother over her life. He beat my mom,my sister and me. He screamed and threatened to murder us. He raped my sister and was terribly creepy to me,I can vividly remember being shown a picture of a toddler being molested when I was 10 or 11 and once normal porn, yet I'm supposed to just be fine and accept him into my life again? No. I cannot forgive him for being an absolute monster.
 
2013-02-23 05:21:20 PM
I was just popping in here to say "What the fark is wrong with that women?!" but I see that's been covered. Carry on.
 
2013-02-23 05:25:57 PM

JonZoidberg: What a chav.  Chav is what you limeys call white trash, right?

IMHO, the kids were being little shiats but they were 16 and she needed to step up and be an grownup.  Amazing that she sees herself as blameless.


Some people blame themselves for things that aren't their fault.

And some people are physically incapable of accepting blame for things that are obviously their fault.
 
2013-02-23 05:27:40 PM

Bronzemom: What is wrong with her?  I know that kids are a pain in the butt especially when they get to their teenage years and I certainly could not deal with that crap in my life.
HOWEVER, I knew that way before I ever decided to have sex for the first time and I made damn sure I never got pregnant.
Yeah, I'm a selfish biatch but I have never had children.
Dumb ass people do not think about what it takes to be a good parent forever and do they have what it takes.
I don't.
She is a lousy human being.


Makes your name kind of ironic.

But hey, gotta respect the honesty with yourself.
 
2013-02-23 05:35:27 PM
This may be the first time I have ever read a tale where the parent was perfectly justified for leaving. Sounds like these sons were a pair of absolute douchebags.

It's not like they were little tykes when she left. They were teens who were well into their rotten ways by the time she moved on.
 
2013-02-23 05:40:27 PM
Anybody got a picture of a cat in a cradle?
 
2013-02-23 05:43:35 PM

TV's Vinnie: This may be the first time I have ever read a tale where the parent was perfectly justified for leaving. Sounds like these sons were a pair of absolute douchebags.

It's not like they were little tykes when she left. They were teens who were well into their rotten ways by the time she moved on.


Who raised them to be rotten, I wonder?
 
2013-02-23 05:47:00 PM

Mentalpatient87: TV's Vinnie: This may be the first time I have ever read a tale where the parent was perfectly justified for leaving. Sounds like these sons were a pair of absolute douchebags.

It's not like they were little tykes when she left. They were teens who were well into their rotten ways by the time she moved on.

Who raised them to be rotten, I wonder?


And who says that those kids were rotten... a mother who sounds like a sociopath.
 
2013-02-23 05:48:26 PM

Lord Jubjub: Anybody got a picture of a cat in a cradle?


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-23 06:05:03 PM

JonZoidberg: What a chav.  Chav is what you limeys call white trash, right?

IMHO, the kids were being little shiats but they were 16 and she needed to step up and be an grownup.  Amazing that she sees herself as blameless.


For anyone sympathetic to this woman, the bold is the only relevant thing here.
 
2013-02-23 06:12:29 PM

DS1970: we really know our "prejudice" is totally justified.


YOUR prejudice. Not mine. Bigot.
 
2013-02-23 06:14:21 PM
The young men were in gangs when she left. Maybe she had to escape them for her own safety. And yeah, at 16 it is legal in UK to leave school, go to work or join the army, so technically, they were not babies, and could have supported themselves. Sounds like if they were not in gang life, she might have stayed to care for them. This is NOT the same as your momma leaving you at the age of 3 or whatever.

Even in America, a 16 year old can apply to be recognized as an emancipated adult. There are always services available, maybe not a direct line to the fabled welfare check but there are plenty of services to help abandoned kids, like foster parents, shelters, church groups, etc. Although if the young person insists on doing drugs they might not be welcome. Many shelters won't accept the homeless if they are drunk or high, which is why some homeless don't go to them. And if the person wants to continue school or get a job, I am sure they could find plenty of grants and programs to help them.

But yeah, it is true that as long as a check is offered for breeding unwanted babies, women and  teen girls will see this as a job opportunity, maybe the only one they think they can get. Hasn't everyone seen these whores just looking for a sperm donor for the welfare check? They start in high school if not sooner.

Don't touch em if you do see em. If they don't give you the herpes or the aids, or even if they do, they will be required to give the name of the father when applying for welfare, and even if they don't give your name, dna will find you out, and then guess what? Your paycheck will be garnished by the state for the next 18 years. Once you are identified as the father, you have to pay the welfare back, so the joke is on you, sucka.
 
2013-02-23 06:14:32 PM
My FIL died New Year's Eve. Like everything else the miserable POS did, he inconvenienced everyone. He beat the kids, beat the dog, broke things, took a baseball bat to one of the girls, tried to choke one of the boys, kicked one of the boys into unconsciousness, and tried to stab another one. When he got out of hand one Thanksgiving, the oldest ripped the knife from the turkey and promised the bastard that he'd kill him if he ever set hands on him again.

We missed the funeral, but went back to see the family a couple weeks late. Everyone was relieved he was gone. I've never seen my MIL happier.
 
2013-02-23 06:19:59 PM

Mattyb710: I'm not seeing the problem. If she had waited 2 years before leaving everyone would agree with her choice, but since the boys were 16 it's all her fault. Our obsession with arbitrary numbers is baffling.


Somewhat this. They acted like complete morons. At 16 you know what you are doing and if you drive your mother away you really are doing something wrong.

On the other hand, she raised them for 16 years to be the respectful and young men that they are. She messed up raising them and later couldn't deal with them, and she should have.known right at the start that she'd be responsible for 18 years. So she was on the books to take care of them for another 2 years.

In summary: the kids were wrong for being asswhipes, the mom was wrong for forgoing her obligation without some sort of arrangement for her kids.

Conclusion: she left because they were assholes. Evens out and they should just stay apart. No party has any ties to the other so she should not.expect sympathy from someone who for all practical purposes is a stranger.
 
2013-02-23 06:22:10 PM
DS1970
As soon as I saw a picture of the twins, I knew immediately why they were so much trouble.

Successful AA my f*cking ass.  We all know, right?  It's The Great White Secret - we really know our "prejudice" is totally justified.  We all know who and what they are...it's just never said out-loud.

Shiftless, lazy, and are 99.9% likely to become "thugs".  F*ck 'em.  F*ck the "mom", too...why the f*ck did she have to breed?


Welcome to my ignore list you racist asshole.
 
2013-02-23 06:27:08 PM
I would say she's reapimg what she sowed, but I think she's doing all this in an attempt to guilt the kids into a very casual relationship with them... Maybe going to brunch together, bi weekly phone calls? as soon as things get kinda thick, mom will be out the door again.
 
2013-02-23 06:29:09 PM

WeenerGord: Even in America, a 16 year old can apply to be recognized as an emancipated adult. There are always services available, maybe not a direct line to the fabled welfare check but there are plenty of services to help abandoned kids, like foster parents, shelters, church groups, etc.



Most of those programs depend on the parent's income and whether they have been declared unfit. In the case of church groups, they usually have asinine requirements bordering on the stuff we hear about Scientology.

Also, how many employers willingly hire a homeless 16 year old when there are hordes of college graduates lining up for interviews? How many landlords would immediately rent to a 16 year old making minimum wage with no credit when they have a 6+ month waiting list of people with near-perfect credit and a much higher wage?


WeenerGord: Many shelters won't accept the homeless if they are drunk or high, which is why some homeless don't go to them.



Most shelters also don't accept anyone under 18 unless accompanied by a parent or guardian.


WeenerGord: And if the person wants to continue school or get a job, I am sure they could find plenty of grants and programs to help them.



Citation please? As far as I know, such grants simply don't exist. And believe me, I did look.
 
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