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(The Sun)   A mom who abandoned her teenage sons to start a new life is shocked that they wanted nothing to do with her years later when she was facing life-threatening surgery   ( thesun.co.uk) divider line
    More: Fail, amputations, sons  
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21234 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Feb 2013 at 3:08 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



142 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2013-02-23 03:09:10 PM  
that hurts
 
2013-02-23 03:12:22 PM  
Wow, the entire article she desperately tried to make it her son's fault.
 
2013-02-23 03:12:53 PM  
another feel good story
 
2013-02-23 03:13:07 PM  
It sounds like they cut her off before the amputation.
 
2013-02-23 03:13:48 PM  
Sounds like the bastards needed abandoning.
 
2013-02-23 03:14:42 PM  
mum mum mum mum mum mum mum
 
2013-02-23 03:14:49 PM  

acad1228: Sounds like the bastards needed abandoning.

 
2013-02-23 03:15:25 PM  
Tot mom or tut mum?
 
2013-02-23 03:16:17 PM  
That poor woman, all she wanted was to be happy even at the cost of her family
 
2013-02-23 03:17:27 PM  
What a chav.  Chav is what you limeys call white trash, right?

IMHO, the kids were being little shiats but they were 16 and she needed to step up and be an grownup.  Amazing that she sees herself as blameless.
 
2013-02-23 03:18:08 PM  
God damn, what a horrible woman.  The world will be better off without her or her bloodline.
 
2013-02-23 03:18:14 PM  
Mum of the year. Sounds like the kids need a quick trip behind the woodshed.
 
2013-02-23 03:18:18 PM  
"While I hadn't seen him for five years, that had beenhis choice, not mine. I can't live my life blaming myself and wondering if things would've been different if I'd stayed. What's done is done and I can't change that."

His choice?  HIS? You  moved the fark out, you asswipe, and wanted him to come crawling back instead of growing up and parenting! Every second of his hell was probably of your making.

I seriously hope there's no limit on child-abuse statutes in the UK.
 
2013-02-23 03:18:29 PM  
She made her bed, now she must lie in it.
 
2013-02-23 03:19:08 PM  
I'm not seeing the problem. If she had waited 2 years before leaving everyone would agree with her choice, but since the boys were 16 it's all her fault. Our obsession with arbitrary numbers is baffling.
 
2013-02-23 03:19:22 PM  

acad1228: Sounds like the bastards needed abandoning.


i6.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-23 03:19:25 PM  
It's my experience with dead beat parents (like my own father) that once they forgive themselves for their selfish and hurtful actions, they just expect everyone else to do the same. They no longer blame themselves, so why should anyone else? All the sudden your the bad guy for refusing to forgive YEARS of abuse and neglect after one tearful apology. This woman sounds like a worthless piece of shiat mom and I hope her kids never speak to her again.

/daddy issues
 
2013-02-23 03:20:29 PM  
No mention of a father anywhere, I see, though something about him is pretty clear.
 
2013-02-23 03:21:28 PM  
Where's the sperm donor?
 
2013-02-23 03:21:46 PM  
Devin was found hanged aged just 20 at a friend's house where he and his twin brother were staying at.

Really? Where they were staying at? Bite me, Sun.
 
2013-02-23 03:21:52 PM  

orbister: No mention of a father anywhere, I see, though something about him is pretty clear.


The kids never went back?
 
2013-02-23 03:22:20 PM  
She should have named them "Sue"
 
2013-02-23 03:22:31 PM  
She's a farking mess and now so are her grown children; why is it that only stupid people seem to breed.

And this: fark that paper for running pictures of the kids when they were 5-6; she didn't leave them until they were 16 and from her description all ready on the road to ruin.
 
2013-02-23 03:23:20 PM  
Way to abandon your kids...
 
2013-02-23 03:23:36 PM  

acad1228: Sounds like the bastards needed abandoning.


Then you wait and do it a 18. At 16 they are stupid as shiat and cannot do anything themselves.

This mother deserves the old speeding bus into the pelvis routine.
 
2013-02-23 03:23:37 PM  
Well, that's the most infuriating thing I've read in a long time.
 
2013-02-23 03:24:10 PM  

PsiChick: "While I hadn't seen him for five years, that had beenhis choice, not mine. I can't live my life blaming myself and wondering if things would've been different if I'd stayed. What's done is done and I can't change that."

His choice?  HIS? You  moved the fark out, you asswipe, and wanted him to come crawling back instead of growing up and parenting! Every second of his hell was probably of your making.

I seriously hope there's no limit on child-abuse statutes in the UK.


She won't have a leg to stand on.
 
2013-02-23 03:25:15 PM  

reklamfox: /daddy issues


How YOU doin'?

/sorry, had to
 
2013-02-23 03:25:18 PM  
What a biatch!
 
2013-02-23 03:26:03 PM  
So, a mother of two 16 year old sons is finding her kids falling in with the wrong crowd and being troublesome. . . .

Her solution?  Abandon them, move away, start a new life, then months later tell them they'll have to apologize to her and beg her to come back.

Yeah, real bright solution there Mother Of The Year.

If the 16 years of parenting leading up to her abandoning her kids was just as smart, no wonder the kids turned out as delinquents.
 
2013-02-23 03:26:42 PM  
The one son who hanged himself at age 20 has a pretty good excuse for not being there.
 
2013-02-23 03:26:54 PM  

PsiChick: "While I hadn't seen him for five years, that had beenhis choice, not mine. I can't live my life blaming myself and wondering if things would've been different if I'd stayed. What's done is done and I can't change that."

His choice?  HIS? You  moved the fark out, you asswipe, and wanted him to come crawling back instead of growing up and parenting! Every second of his hell was probably of your making.

I seriously hope there's no limit on child-abuse statutes in the UK.


To be fair, she couldn't do the crawling.
 
2013-02-23 03:27:11 PM  
My loser sister did this. She basically moved a couple of hours away from them to be with her new boyfriend when the were young teenagers, leaving them with their dad and grandmother to finish raising them. Now that they are young adults, she actually gets butthurt that they don't want to have anything to do with her and are embarrassed she is their mom.

/CSS
 
2013-02-23 03:27:32 PM  

JonZoidberg: What a chav.  Chav is what you limeys call white trash, right?

IMHO, the kids were being little shiats but they were 16 and she needed to step up and be an grownup.  Amazing that she sees herself as blameless.


She did the grown up thing. She said "Ok, you are technically adults, so if you won't listen to me, you're on your own. Here's where I am if you need me." It's not very impressive that things got to that state, but given that they had, her action was reasonable.
 
2013-02-23 03:29:14 PM  
IIRC, in the UK they can legally leave home at 16. Instead of moving out, she could have kicked them out for being little shiats. If that's legal, of course. You never know.

/I know in Wales and England you can join the army at 16
//so there they go - no homelessness necessary, slackers
 
2013-02-23 03:29:20 PM  
reklamfox: It's my experience with dead beat parents (like my own father) that once they forgive themselves for their selfish and hurtful actions, they just expect everyone else to do the same. They no longer blame themselves, so why should anyone else?

Yep, spot on. And they all have a theme song, too. It goes me me me me me me me me.........
And just where is the father in all of this?
 
2013-02-23 03:29:31 PM  
The surviving kid should challenge her to an ass kicking contest.
 
2013-02-23 03:30:07 PM  
Have that boy washed and sent to my room.

/he was a tastey looking 20.... What? He's legal, and ill give him back when I'm done....
 
2013-02-23 03:30:25 PM  

JonZoidberg: What a chav.  Chav is what you limeys call white trash, right?

IMHO, the kids were being little shiats but they were 16 and she needed to step up and be an grownup.  Amazing that she sees herself as blameless.


I don't think they need to be white, just culturally Bri'ish.  But yeah, they all look like council flat dwellers.
 
2013-02-23 03:30:47 PM  

orbister: JonZoidberg: What a chav.  Chav is what you limeys call white trash, right?

IMHO, the kids were being little shiats but they were 16 and she needed to step up and be an grownup.  Amazing that she sees herself as blameless.

She did the grown up thing. She said "Ok, you are technically adults, so if you won't listen to me, you're on your own. Here's where I am if you need me." It's not very impressive that things got to that state, but given that they had, her action was reasonable.


As I previously posted, it's also pretty damn ridiculous that at 16 they are helpless, defenseless children, but as soon as they turn 18 they are now able adults who can care for themselves.
The mother did nothing wrong.
 
2013-02-23 03:30:59 PM  
What a likable family, he said sarcastically.
 
2013-02-23 03:31:18 PM  

douchebag/hater: She's a farking mess and now so are her grown children; why is it that only stupid people seem to breed.

And this: fark that paper for running pictures of the kids when they were 5-6; she didn't leave them until they were 16 and from her description all ready on the road to ruin.


...They were swearing and talking back. For my family that's a typical mode of communication (because we're all snarky assholes). But seriously, that's  normal, hardly an indicator of anything. What sort of teens have  youlived with?
 
2013-02-23 03:32:30 PM  
What a run-away one legged lady might look like:

www.nypost.com
 
2013-02-23 03:33:02 PM  

orbister: JonZoidberg: What a chav.  Chav is what you limeys call white trash, right?

IMHO, the kids were being little shiats but they were 16 and she needed to step up and be an grownup.  Amazing that she sees herself as blameless.

She did the grown up thing. She said "Ok, you are technically adults, so if you won't listen to me, you're on your own. Here's where I am if you need me." It's not very impressive that things got to that state, but given that they had, her action was reasonable.


No, no they weren't.
 
2013-02-23 03:34:23 PM  
Ah! Another happy love-related editorial from "love it! magazine".. wtf.
 
2013-02-23 03:36:09 PM  
If you treat your children like shiat you shouldn't be surprised when they don't give a fark if you die.
/Gonna throw a party when that bastard that is my father dies.
 
2013-02-23 03:36:10 PM  
These are all just horrible, terrible people. She's a bit of a coont and her kids are aholes.
 
2013-02-23 03:41:42 PM  

Mattyb710: As I previously posted, it's also pretty damn ridiculous that at 16 they are helpless, defenseless children, but as soon as they turn 18 they are now able adults who can care for themselves.


There is a huge difference between a 16 year old and an 18 year old.  Also:

Silverstaff: If the 16 years of parenting leading up to her abandoning her kids was just as smart, no wonder the kids turned out as delinquents.

 
2013-02-23 03:41:50 PM  

huntertom: Ah! Another happy love-related editorial from "love it! magazine".. wtf.


From looking at the cover of that mag included in the article, "Love It!" seems to specialize in schadenfreude.

Other headlines on the cover include "Too fat to marry. Words that made this big bride cry." and "A new kidney and a new Mistress! 'Organ transplant turned my man into a cheat'"
 
2013-02-23 03:42:28 PM  

orbister: JonZoidberg: What a chav.  Chav is what you limeys call white trash, right?

IMHO, the kids were being little shiats but they were 16 and she needed to step up and be an grownup.  Amazing that she sees herself as blameless.

She did the grown up thing. She said "Ok, you are technically adults, so if you won't listen to me, you're on your own. Here's where I am if you need me." It's not very impressive that things got to that state, but given that they had, her action was reasonable.


At 16, they were not technically adults - they were still minors under the law, suddenly being w/o a home or parent, but not orphaned, probably made it difficult to get any services, especially if their mom had means of support. Also we only have her word about their behavior, no-one has interviewed the surviving twin.
 
2013-02-23 03:45:57 PM  
I'm thinking about Horton hatches an egg
 
2013-02-23 03:46:22 PM  

reklamfox: It's my experience with dead beat parents (like my own father) that once they forgive themselves for their selfish and hurtful actions, they just expect everyone else to do the same. They no longer blame themselves, so why should anyone else? All the sudden your the bad guy for refusing to forgive YEARS of abuse and neglect after one tearful apology. This woman sounds like a worthless piece of shiat mom and I hope her kids never speak to her again.

/daddy issues


I feel your pain. My mother abandoned my father with 5 kids when I was 8 years old. She moved two states away to take up with some guy. We were never homeless, but how does someone do that to kids still clearly dependent on her (the youngest was 3 years old...he can't even remember her)?

Saw her at a funeral a couple of years ago. She gave me a funny little hug and then walked off. I just tell everyone my folks are dead.
 
2013-02-23 03:57:00 PM  

Stone Meadow: reklamfox: It's my experience with dead beat parents (like my own father) that once they forgive themselves for their selfish and hurtful actions, they just expect everyone else to do the same. They no longer blame themselves, so why should anyone else? All the sudden your the bad guy for refusing to forgive YEARS of abuse and neglect after one tearful apology. This woman sounds like a worthless piece of shiat mom and I hope her kids never speak to her again.

/daddy issues

I feel your pain. My mother abandoned my father with 5 kids when I was 8 years old. She moved two states away to take up with some guy. We were never homeless, but how does someone do that to kids still clearly dependent on her (the youngest was 3 years old...he can't even remember her)?

Saw her at a funeral a couple of years ago. She gave me a funny little hug and then walked off. I just tell everyone my folks are dead.


You and me both buddy. It's just easier to tell people I'm an orphan than to explain that I drew the genetic short straw and both my lousy parents aren't worth damn.
 
2013-02-23 03:58:31 PM  

Molavian: God damn, what a horrible woman.


If that were my mum, I would have told her to shove her amputated limbs up her arse
 
2013-02-23 03:59:59 PM  
Anyone who hurts, abandons, or neglects someone else in order that they might "find themself" needs to be put against a wall and shot.

Especially if you do this to your children. Once you have kids, it's no longer "all about you"
 
2013-02-23 04:01:29 PM  
Hmmm.  It appears as though "One reaps what one sows".  I must look further into that concept.
 
2013-02-23 04:04:09 PM  

Mattyb710: I'm not seeing the problem. If she had waited 2 years before leaving everyone would agree with her choice, but since the boys were 16 it's all her fault. Our obsession with arbitrary numbers is baffling.


You sound all under age molesty.
 
2013-02-23 04:05:15 PM  

Easy Reader: Hmmm.  It appears as though "One reaps what one sows".  I must look further into that concept.


I sorta consider it as the universe smacking the shiat out of you for being an ass.
 
2013-02-23 04:05:44 PM  

fuzzlespoke: At 16, they were not technically adults - they were still minors under the law, suddenly being w/o a home or parent, but not orphaned, probably made it difficult to get any services, especially if their mom had means of support.



Not sure Britain is different, but that's exactly how it works in the US.

/Left home at 16
//Lived under a tarp in a barn until 19
 
2013-02-23 04:06:43 PM  
No winners here.
 
2013-02-23 04:07:04 PM  

reklamfox: Stone Meadow: My mother abandoned my father with 5 kids when I was 8 years old. She moved two states away to take up with some guy.

You and me both buddy. It's just easier to tell people I'm an orphan than to explain that I drew the genetic short straw and both my lousy parents aren't worth damn.


And by "abandoned" I mean she put us on the school bus one morning without saying a thing. That afternoon an Aunt picked us 3 older kids from school with the younger two in the car with her. My mom never said goodbye, called, explained what happen. Nothing.
 
2013-02-23 04:14:04 PM  

JeffMD: acad1228: Sounds like the bastards needed abandoning.


Bullshiat. The kind of mother who would abandon her children to start a new life with a boytoy won't have spent much effort raising them responsibly either.
 
2013-02-23 04:20:56 PM  
I haven't seen my mother since I was 14.  She had her own life to lead, and things just weren't working out between us, so she just said it would be best if we just parted ways.   I have no desire at all to reconnect with her.  I don't know or care if she's dead, alive, or sitting in a crappy nursing home all alone wondering why she's alone.

She did me a favor when she walked out of my life.
 
2013-02-23 04:21:04 PM  
She said: "I texted the boys to say where I was and that they'd have to come and apologise if they wanted me home."....She added: "It was time for me to move on. They were just making my life a misery."Donna's sudden exit left her sons homeless - but she did not see it as her concern anymore

The line above tells me alot. Most people just "become" uncontrollable on their own. You try to see the good in most people but wow...what a horrible person.
 
2013-02-23 04:23:56 PM  
* just don't "become"
 
2013-02-23 04:24:23 PM  

Tealeaf: I haven't seen my mother since I was 14.  She had her own life to lead, and things just weren't working out between us, so she just said it would be best if we just parted ways.   I have no desire at all to reconnect with her.  I don't know or care if she's dead, alive, or sitting in a crappy nursing home all alone wondering why she's alone.

She did me a favor when she walked out of my life.


CSB
 
2013-02-23 04:26:58 PM  
The dad is an asshole too- a bigger one for never being there.
Also, abandoning your kids is about the last thing I would expect to improve their behavior.


But, I doubt any of this actually happened anyway.
I don't believe anything in the Sun, much less a tabloid with a cover like that.
 
2013-02-23 04:27:39 PM  

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: Devin was found hanged aged just 20 at a friend's house where he and his twin brother were staying at.

Really? Where they were staying at? Bite me, Sun.


o_O
 
2013-02-23 04:28:42 PM  

Mattyb710: orbister: JonZoidberg: What a chav.  Chav is what you limeys call white trash, right?

IMHO, the kids were being little shiats but they were 16 and she needed to step up and be an grownup.  Amazing that she sees herself as blameless.

She did the grown up thing. She said "Ok, you are technically adults, so if you won't listen to me, you're on your own. Here's where I am if you need me." It's not very impressive that things got to that state, but given that they had, her action was reasonable.

As I previously posted, it's also pretty damn ridiculous that at 16 they are helpless, defenseless children, but as soon as they turn 18 they are now able adults who can care for themselves.
The mother did nothing wrong.


You are aware that you're not making a compelling excuse for this coont, and instead are making yourselves look like horrible people, right? I mean, it's cool if you wanna be horrible people. However, you're not making her look any better, you're making yourselves look worse. Just so you know.
 
2013-02-23 04:29:17 PM  

Stone Meadow: reklamfox: Stone Meadow: My mother abandoned my father with 5 kids when I was 8 years old. She moved two states away to take up with some guy.

You and me both buddy. It's just easier to tell people I'm an orphan than to explain that I drew the genetic short straw and both my lousy parents aren't worth damn.

And by "abandoned" I mean she put us on the school bus one morning without saying a thing. That afternoon an Aunt picked us 3 older kids from school with the younger two in the car with her. My mom never said goodbye, called, explained what happen. Nothing.


I'm going to break with fark's usual callousness and just say no kid should have that happen that way - that's F'd up, and I'm sorry to hear man.  That's beyond "makes you stronger" territory and well into "neurosis in later life" territory.
 
2013-02-23 04:32:29 PM  

Orange-Pippin: She said: "I texted the boys to say where I was and that they'd have to come and apologise if they wanted me home."....She added: "It was time for me to move on. They were just making my life a misery."Donna's sudden exit left her sons homeless - but she did not see it as her concern anymore

The line above tells me alot. Most people just "become" uncontrollable on their own. You try to see the good in most people but wow...what a horrible person.



It definitely is all about her

ALL ABOUT HER

ALL ABOUT HER

hey - she's an attention whore and she knows of what she does
 
2013-02-23 04:33:09 PM  
Yeah, I should have tied that back to the story linked,  guess.  My point was that speaking from the perspective of someone who had something similar happen to them, I fully understand why the brothers didn't contact mom.  Just crapping out a kid doesn't entitle you to their unconditional love forever, no  matter what you do, or if you are around or not.

The mom in this story walked away, and then was hurt (and griped to a media outlet)  when they didn't come rushing to her aid when her life got sucky.  My point was that if you show your children that you don't care about them, don't be shocked when they return that sentiment if you change your mind later in life.
 
2013-02-23 04:33:27 PM  

Somaticasual: I'm going to break with fark's usual callousness and just say


i.telegraph.co.uk

Ten-minute penalty.
 
2013-02-23 04:35:02 PM  
Sheesh, between this and the motorcycle thread, I wonder if half of Fark ODed on the stupid pills this morning.
 
2013-02-23 04:35:37 PM  
In this case, the son is not there.
 
2013-02-23 04:35:39 PM  

douchebag/hater: She's a farking mess and now so are her grown children; why is it that only stupid people seem to breed.



Why the fark WOULDN'T they breed?

Idiots keep insisting on supplementing their lifestyle with tax funded housing, medical care, and food assistance, so why the fark not have a bunch of kids? More kids = more money from YOU via tax dollars.


Maybe, just maybe, if they DIDN'T have the option to tie directly into the tax payer to supplement their poor life decisions, we wouldn't have so many.


People have their own g'damn kids to worry about, let alone the spawn from some hapless coont who spreads her legs willy nilly and expects somebody else to pay for it. "Mommy" is great with little children, but they SUCK at raising teen boys, as the housing projects and "council estates" will attest.
 
2013-02-23 04:38:09 PM  
"I just kept seeing my baby boy's beautiful, smiling face in my mind and wondering why?

Cos yer a shiate mum?

Just a thought.

/I find myself unable to muster up even a crumb of empathy for any of the people in this story.
//Is that wrong?
///Should I feel bad about that?
 
2013-02-23 04:38:59 PM  

reklamfox: It's my experience with dead beat parents (like my own father) that once they forgive themselves for their selfish and hurtful actions, they just expect everyone else to do the same. They no longer blame themselves, so why should anyone else? All the sudden your the bad guy for refusing to forgive YEARS of abuse and neglect after one tearful apology. This woman sounds like a worthless piece of shiat mom and I hope her kids never speak to her again.

/daddy issues


No kidding.... My wife's Dad did basically the same thing. He farked every piece of trash for years before he divorced his wife. He beat his children regularly with the buckle-end of a belt..... Yet, when he was alone and lonely? He wondered why nobody cared for him.... why nobody tried to contact him. He apologized.... Yet claimed he wasn't able to remember what he did as a parent and why nobody liked him. I'd be willing to accept Alzheimer's as an excuse.... Except that was 12 years ago and he's still fine.

A-Hole
 
2013-02-23 04:47:43 PM  
images.wikia.com
 
2013-02-23 04:48:29 PM  
Since we're sharing shiatty parent stories:

My mother spent the first 14 years of my life divorcing my dad (and in Indiana there's no way he'd have gotten custody), drinking away the utilities bills, and drunkenly trying to turn me and my sisters against aforementioned father. Eventually she went to jail for a year or so, and I moved in with dad. She quit drinking, went into AA, and propped herself nicely upon a cross... Now she's homeless, combative if she doesn't get her way, possibly schizophrenic, and tried to show up on my sister's doorstep unannounced to just move on in. Apologies? Hardly a word more than "I drank! It's in the PAST!" Get a job? Oh no, she's got some BS hand injury from twelve years ago. Support herself? Why that's preposterous! She gave birth to us, obviously that means us kids have to carry her through the rest of her life!
 
2013-02-23 05:03:12 PM  
What is wrong with her?  I know that kids are a pain in the butt especially when they get to their teenage years and I certainly could not deal with that crap in my life.
HOWEVER, I knew that way before I ever decided to have sex for the first time and I made damn sure I never got pregnant.
Yeah, I'm a selfish biatch but I have never had children.
Dumb ass people do not think about what it takes to be a good parent forever and do they have what it takes.
I don't.
She is a lousy human being.
 
2013-02-23 05:04:39 PM  

PapaChester: acad1228: Sounds like the bastards needed abandoning.

Then you wait and do it a 18. At 16 they are stupid as shiat and cannot do anything themselves.

This mother deserves the old speeding bus into the pelvis routine.


Isn't that how that whole mess got started?
 
2013-02-23 05:09:28 PM  

Mattyb710: I'm not seeing the problem. If she had waited 2 years before leaving everyone would agree with her choice, but since the boys were 16 it's all her fault. Our obsession with arbitrary numbers is baffling.


No, she'd still be worthless at 18, just less so because they'd have at least a reasonable chance of being able to support themselves by then.
 
2013-02-23 05:09:56 PM  

The Evil Home Brewer: He beat his children regularly with the buckle-end of a belt..... Yet, when he was alone and lonely? He wondered why nobody cared for him.... why nobody tried to contact him. He apologized.... Yet claimed he wasn't able to remember what he did as a parent and why nobody liked him.


At least he apologized. After not having any contact with my father for 10 years he found me on facebook and tried to act like everything was fine. I told him exactly how I felt and got a lecture about how he struggled and scrapped for us. No he didn't,he borrowed 87k from his mother over her life. He beat my mom,my sister and me. He screamed and threatened to murder us. He raped my sister and was terribly creepy to me,I can vividly remember being shown a picture of a toddler being molested when I was 10 or 11 and once normal porn, yet I'm supposed to just be fine and accept him into my life again? No. I cannot forgive him for being an absolute monster.
 
2013-02-23 05:21:20 PM  
I was just popping in here to say "What the fark is wrong with that women?!" but I see that's been covered. Carry on.
 
2013-02-23 05:25:57 PM  

JonZoidberg: What a chav.  Chav is what you limeys call white trash, right?

IMHO, the kids were being little shiats but they were 16 and she needed to step up and be an grownup.  Amazing that she sees herself as blameless.


Some people blame themselves for things that aren't their fault.

And some people are physically incapable of accepting blame for things that are obviously their fault.
 
2013-02-23 05:27:40 PM  

Bronzemom: What is wrong with her?  I know that kids are a pain in the butt especially when they get to their teenage years and I certainly could not deal with that crap in my life.
HOWEVER, I knew that way before I ever decided to have sex for the first time and I made damn sure I never got pregnant.
Yeah, I'm a selfish biatch but I have never had children.
Dumb ass people do not think about what it takes to be a good parent forever and do they have what it takes.
I don't.
She is a lousy human being.


Makes your name kind of ironic.

But hey, gotta respect the honesty with yourself.
 
2013-02-23 05:35:27 PM  
This may be the first time I have ever read a tale where the parent was perfectly justified for leaving. Sounds like these sons were a pair of absolute douchebags.

It's not like they were little tykes when she left. They were teens who were well into their rotten ways by the time she moved on.
 
2013-02-23 05:40:27 PM  
Anybody got a picture of a cat in a cradle?
 
2013-02-23 05:43:35 PM  

TV's Vinnie: This may be the first time I have ever read a tale where the parent was perfectly justified for leaving. Sounds like these sons were a pair of absolute douchebags.

It's not like they were little tykes when she left. They were teens who were well into their rotten ways by the time she moved on.


Who raised them to be rotten, I wonder?
 
2013-02-23 05:47:00 PM  

Mentalpatient87: TV's Vinnie: This may be the first time I have ever read a tale where the parent was perfectly justified for leaving. Sounds like these sons were a pair of absolute douchebags.

It's not like they were little tykes when she left. They were teens who were well into their rotten ways by the time she moved on.

Who raised them to be rotten, I wonder?


And who says that those kids were rotten... a mother who sounds like a sociopath.
 
2013-02-23 05:48:26 PM  

Lord Jubjub: Anybody got a picture of a cat in a cradle?


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-23 06:05:03 PM  

JonZoidberg: What a chav.  Chav is what you limeys call white trash, right?

IMHO, the kids were being little shiats but they were 16 and she needed to step up and be an grownup.  Amazing that she sees herself as blameless.


For anyone sympathetic to this woman, the bold is the only relevant thing here.
 
2013-02-23 06:12:29 PM  

DS1970: we really know our "prejudice" is totally justified.


YOUR prejudice. Not mine. Bigot.
 
2013-02-23 06:14:21 PM  
The young men were in gangs when she left. Maybe she had to escape them for her own safety. And yeah, at 16 it is legal in UK to leave school, go to work or join the army, so technically, they were not babies, and could have supported themselves. Sounds like if they were not in gang life, she might have stayed to care for them. This is NOT the same as your momma leaving you at the age of 3 or whatever.

Even in America, a 16 year old can apply to be recognized as an emancipated adult. There are always services available, maybe not a direct line to the fabled welfare check but there are plenty of services to help abandoned kids, like foster parents, shelters, church groups, etc. Although if the young person insists on doing drugs they might not be welcome. Many shelters won't accept the homeless if they are drunk or high, which is why some homeless don't go to them. And if the person wants to continue school or get a job, I am sure they could find plenty of grants and programs to help them.

But yeah, it is true that as long as a check is offered for breeding unwanted babies, women and  teen girls will see this as a job opportunity, maybe the only one they think they can get. Hasn't everyone seen these whores just looking for a sperm donor for the welfare check? They start in high school if not sooner.

Don't touch em if you do see em. If they don't give you the herpes or the aids, or even if they do, they will be required to give the name of the father when applying for welfare, and even if they don't give your name, dna will find you out, and then guess what? Your paycheck will be garnished by the state for the next 18 years. Once you are identified as the father, you have to pay the welfare back, so the joke is on you, sucka.
 
2013-02-23 06:14:32 PM  
My FIL died New Year's Eve. Like everything else the miserable POS did, he inconvenienced everyone. He beat the kids, beat the dog, broke things, took a baseball bat to one of the girls, tried to choke one of the boys, kicked one of the boys into unconsciousness, and tried to stab another one. When he got out of hand one Thanksgiving, the oldest ripped the knife from the turkey and promised the bastard that he'd kill him if he ever set hands on him again.

We missed the funeral, but went back to see the family a couple weeks late. Everyone was relieved he was gone. I've never seen my MIL happier.
 
2013-02-23 06:19:59 PM  

Mattyb710: I'm not seeing the problem. If she had waited 2 years before leaving everyone would agree with her choice, but since the boys were 16 it's all her fault. Our obsession with arbitrary numbers is baffling.


Somewhat this. They acted like complete morons. At 16 you know what you are doing and if you drive your mother away you really are doing something wrong.

On the other hand, she raised them for 16 years to be the respectful and young men that they are. She messed up raising them and later couldn't deal with them, and she should have.known right at the start that she'd be responsible for 18 years. So she was on the books to take care of them for another 2 years.

In summary: the kids were wrong for being asswhipes, the mom was wrong for forgoing her obligation without some sort of arrangement for her kids.

Conclusion: she left because they were assholes. Evens out and they should just stay apart. No party has any ties to the other so she should not.expect sympathy from someone who for all practical purposes is a stranger.
 
2013-02-23 06:22:10 PM  
DS1970
As soon as I saw a picture of the twins, I knew immediately why they were so much trouble.

Successful AA my f*cking ass.  We all know, right?  It's The Great White Secret - we really know our "prejudice" is totally justified.  We all know who and what they are...it's just never said out-loud.

Shiftless, lazy, and are 99.9% likely to become "thugs".  F*ck 'em.  F*ck the "mom", too...why the f*ck did she have to breed?


Welcome to my ignore list you racist asshole.
 
2013-02-23 06:27:08 PM  
I would say she's reapimg what she sowed, but I think she's doing all this in an attempt to guilt the kids into a very casual relationship with them... Maybe going to brunch together, bi weekly phone calls? as soon as things get kinda thick, mom will be out the door again.
 
2013-02-23 06:29:09 PM  

WeenerGord: Even in America, a 16 year old can apply to be recognized as an emancipated adult. There are always services available, maybe not a direct line to the fabled welfare check but there are plenty of services to help abandoned kids, like foster parents, shelters, church groups, etc.



Most of those programs depend on the parent's income and whether they have been declared unfit. In the case of church groups, they usually have asinine requirements bordering on the stuff we hear about Scientology.

Also, how many employers willingly hire a homeless 16 year old when there are hordes of college graduates lining up for interviews? How many landlords would immediately rent to a 16 year old making minimum wage with no credit when they have a 6+ month waiting list of people with near-perfect credit and a much higher wage?


WeenerGord: Many shelters won't accept the homeless if they are drunk or high, which is why some homeless don't go to them.



Most shelters also don't accept anyone under 18 unless accompanied by a parent or guardian.


WeenerGord: And if the person wants to continue school or get a job, I am sure they could find plenty of grants and programs to help them.



Citation please? As far as I know, such grants simply don't exist. And believe me, I did look.
 
2013-02-23 06:35:26 PM  

acad1228: Sounds like the bastards needed abandoning.


Yeah...I was outraged until I read how out of control her kids were.  There is still no excuse for abandoning kids...but there's an underlying "I don't condone it...but I understand" aspect now.
 
2013-02-23 06:37:13 PM  

DS1970: As soon as I saw a picture of the twins, I knew immediately why they were so much trouble.

Successful AA my f*cking ass.  We all know, right?  It's The Great White Secret - we really know our "prejudice" is totally justified.  We all know who and what they are...it's just never said out-loud.

Shiftless, lazy, and are 99.9% likely to become "thugs".  F*ck 'em.  F*ck the "mom", too...why the f*ck did she have to breed?


Some trolls are clever. Some bring welcome debate. Racist trolls? Waste of typing.
 
2013-02-23 06:37:32 PM  

djseifer: Lord Jubjub: Anybody got a picture of a cat in a cradle?

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x266]


Should have asked for additional images for the silver spoon, little boy blue and the man in the moon
 
2013-02-23 06:40:46 PM  

MeanJean: Welcome to my ignore list you racist asshole.


The Passive-Aggressive Avenger strikes again!
 
2013-02-23 06:41:38 PM  
I'm think England has more of a problem than the USA for growns up who won't act like grown ups raising angry uncontrollable children who then repeat the problem when they then start producing children without any forethought or knowledge. Wanting your child to be your best buddy while binge drinking and acting like a teenager...terrible idea.
 
2013-02-23 06:42:46 PM  
There is a major difference between a mom and a biological vehicle that got you here.
 
2013-02-23 06:53:36 PM  

Fade2black: Yeah...I was outraged until I read how out of control her kids were.



Because someone whose first reaction is to run to a tabloid and drag her kids names through the mud would never have any reason to lie about anything, right?
 
2013-02-23 07:10:08 PM  
This is stupid and these people are stupid. I hope they amputate her brain, and theirs.
 
2013-02-23 07:10:42 PM  

the ha ha guy: Fade2black: Yeah...I was outraged until I read how out of control her kids were.


Because someone whose first reaction is to run to a tabloid and drag her kids names through the mud would never have any reason to lie about anything, right?


Her, the kids, the absent father, the tabloid...all useless nitwits.
 
2013-02-23 07:39:35 PM  
Re: DS1970. I don't use the ignore feature around here often or lightly.

That said?

*favorited!*

/Ah, I note the remark has been officially stricken from the thread.
//Well in order.
 
2013-02-23 08:17:14 PM  

Texas Gabe: She won't have a leg to stand on.


Came for this ... leaving satisfied.
 
2013-02-23 08:18:58 PM  
People shouldn't have to deal with the consequences of their decisions.  It violates their Freedom(tm).
 
2013-02-23 08:19:50 PM  
One of her sons wanted nothing to do with her. The other died by his own hand shortly after she made contact. Since she abandoned them, it seems she was not there for them when they need her...why expect them to be there for her? Also, it says at the beginning of the article she had two older children that head left home when she abandoned the twins...what about them?
 
2013-02-23 08:57:57 PM  

PsiChick: douchebag/hater: She's a farking mess and now so are her grown children; why is it that only stupid people seem to breed.

And this: fark that paper for running pictures of the kids when they were 5-6; she didn't leave them until they were 16 and from her description all ready on the road to ruin.

...They were swearing and talking back. For my family that's a typical mode of communication (because we're all snarky assholes). But seriously, that's  normal, hardly an indicator of anything. What sort of teens have  youlived with?


None because I was smart enough not to have kids.

As for your family's dysfunction: don't think for a moment that sarcasm and snark are the signs of healthy familial interaction. Just because it was 'normal' for you and your clan doesn't make it actually normal.

See a therapist; you may still be able to be helped.
 
2013-02-23 09:16:27 PM  

douchebag/hater: PsiChick: douchebag/hater: She's a farking mess and now so are her grown children; why is it that only stupid people seem to breed.

And this: fark that paper for running pictures of the kids when they were 5-6; she didn't leave them until they were 16 and from her description all ready on the road to ruin.

...They were swearing and talking back. For my family that's a typical mode of communication (because we're all snarky assholes). But seriously, that's  normal, hardly an indicator of anything. What sort of teens have  youlived with?

None because I was smart enough not to have kids.

As for your family's dysfunction: don't think for a moment that sarcasm and snark are the signs of healthy familial interaction. Just because it was 'normal' for you and your clan doesn't make it actually normal.

See a therapist; you may still be able to be helped.


...Um, no, it's not typical, but it's perfectly normal and healthy, because we recognize when it is and isn't appropriate. I have had severe dysfunction in my life, and while I'm aware you're apparently coming at this from the perspective of someone with no experience whatsoever, there's always some amount of joking around in a family, as well as some amount of any other type of interaction. The variance in families comes from the variance in types and ways of handling each.
 
2013-02-23 09:22:46 PM  

djseifer: Lord Jubjub: Anybody got a picture of a cat in a cradle?

3.bp.blogspot.com

 &
image0-rubylane.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2013-02-23 09:40:20 PM  

Bslim: These are all just horrible, terrible people. She's a bit of a coont and her kids are aholes.


No, her kids were being teenagers.  The lady was a horrendous selfish biatch who didn't understand that being a parent is not about her own feelings.


WeenerGord: The young men were in gangs when she left. Maybe she had to escape them for her own safety.


I don't see why you'd assume that instead of taking the article at its word.  Aside from the fact that she probably had no idea what her kids were actually doing, she says in the article specifically that she left because they talked back and she didn't feel respected (i.e. they acted like teenagers).  Then she simply assumed that they didn't need her anymore just because they didn't ask her to move back in.  In all likelyhood this is simply what she considers a reasonable excuse, and in actuality she did it because leaving was more gratifying to her.  But even if that was the real reason, it's incredibly stupid.  Of course they didn't ask her to come back -- they're impulsive teenagers and they were having fun and parties and probably spending half the time at their friends houses, they didn't even consider that their own mom would simply up and leave them permanently.  It isn't a possibility that would have even entered their thoughts.

The truth is that she's simply unable to take responsibility for her actions and constantly shifts blame.  She finds it completely acceptable to abandon others because they aren't serving her needs, while simultaneously finding it shocking that others would do the same to her.  She is pathologically selfish, and completely devoid (and probably incapable) of the unconditional love that parents generally exhibit towards their children.
 
2013-02-23 09:56:38 PM  

the ha ha guy: WeenerGord: Even in America, a 16 year old can apply to be recognized as an emancipated adult. There are always services available, maybe not a direct line to the fabled welfare check but there are plenty of services to help abandoned kids, like foster parents, shelters, church groups, etc.


Most of those programs depend on the parent's income and whether they have been declared unfit. In the case of church groups, they usually have asinine requirements bordering on the stuff we hear about Scientology.

Also, how many employers willingly hire a homeless 16 year old when there are hordes of college graduates lining up for interviews? How many landlords would immediately rent to a 16 year old making minimum wage with no credit when they have a 6+ month waiting list of people with near-perfect credit and a much higher wage?


WeenerGord: Many shelters won't accept the homeless if they are drunk or high, which is why some homeless don't go to them.


Most shelters also don't accept anyone under 18 unless accompanied by a parent or guardian.


WeenerGord: And if the person wants to continue school or get a job, I am sure they could find plenty of grants and programs to help them.


Citation please? As far as I know, such grants simply don't exist. And believe me, I did look.


THIS! There is NOT a good safety net for any child. Certainly many, many children go to loving, safe, and secure foster homes...but the other side is a dark and horrible place...and many, many children end up there too. Read up about "aging out of foster care." Still in high school at 18...congrats, you're kicked out of the foster home because the payments stopped. Life is tough and it's the exception when someone makes it out.

Also, thanks to all those who mentioned the scummy father. Willfully absent fathers have as much blame.
 
2013-02-23 09:56:39 PM  

A Terrible Human: The Evil Home Brewer: He beat his children regularly with the buckle-end of a belt..... Yet, when he was alone and lonely? He wondered why nobody cared for him.... why nobody tried to contact him. He apologized.... Yet claimed he wasn't able to remember what he did as a parent and why nobody liked him.

At least he apologized.


Eh.. he didn't really.
Saying sorry but then claiming not to remember doing anything wrong is basically an attempt to manipulatively assuage someone else's feelings without accepting guilt or responsibility.  He isn't making any personal or emotional connection to the apology, it's just words.

Sorry to hear about your "father figure", if you could call him that, by the way.  One of my cousins who I was pretty close to had an awful father, too, but it sounds like you had it worse.  You're absolutely right not to forgive him or let him into your life, he doesn't deserve it.  Ideally he'd have been thrown in prison long ago before he could perpetrate most of those horrors on you.
 
2013-02-23 10:50:26 PM  

LoneWolf343: orbister: JonZoidberg: What a chav.  Chav is what you limeys call white trash, right?

IMHO, the kids were being little shiats but they were 16 and she needed to step up and be an grownup.  Amazing that she sees herself as blameless.

She did the grown up thing. She said "Ok, you are technically adults, so if you won't listen to me, you're on your own. Here's where I am if you need me." It's not very impressive that things got to that state, but given that they had, her action was reasonable.

No, no they weren't.


At 16 in the UK you can legally leave school, live on your own, join the armed forces and get married.
 
2013-02-23 11:00:52 PM  

Crotchrocket Slim: JonZoidberg: What a chav.  Chav is what you limeys call white trash, right?

IMHO, the kids were being little shiats but they were 16 and she needed to step up and be an grownup.  Amazing that she sees herself as blameless.

For anyone sympathetic to this woman, the bold is the only relevant thing here.


Bearing in mind that they were under no obligation to live at home, and that subsequent events showed them to be write content to live without her (remember that she was nearby for a couple of years, what do you think she should have done? In detail, please, and not just "been an adult" or "parented".
 
2013-02-23 11:06:50 PM  
/I find myself unable to muster up even a crumb of empathy for any of the people in this story.

I feel sorry for the surviving twin. Sure he might have gotten a little wild when he was 16 (we don't know the details), but there are a lot of kids who do and have parents that straighten them out. Then he gets abandoned (evidently for a second time because dad was nowhere to be seen) and gets to watch his twin go into a death spiral while the mom who left them calls in periodically to give guilt trips.
 
2013-02-23 11:08:03 PM  
the ha ha guy: Citation please? As far as I know, such grants simply don't exist. And believe me, I did look.

I don't think you did, because those programs are out there, and there are many, many good people who would bend over backward to help a truly abandoned and homeless minor child. Now, if you were a runaway, and didn't want help, that's different. Also things are different in different parts of the country, and at different times depending on political climate and program funds allocation.

In what years were you homeless? In what part of the country? How did you survive "under a tarp" for 3 years if you had no money, no job, and no help at all? How did you get food, survive the winter, etc? Did you attend school or work at all? Where did you look for help?

I looked at your profile. You certainly do have a lot of anger, still, don't you?
 
2013-02-23 11:23:27 PM  

Gawdzila: Of course they didn't ask her to come back -- they're impulsive teenagers and they were having fun and parties and probably spending half the time at their friends houses, they didn't even consider that their own mom would simply up and leave them permanently.  It isn't a possibility that would have even entered their thoughts.

The truth is that she's simply unable to take responsibility for her actions and constantly shifts blame.  She finds it completely acceptable to abandon others because they aren't serving her needs, while simultaneously finding it shocking that others would do the same to her.  She is pathologically selfish, and completely devoid (and probably incapable) of the unconditional love that parents generally exhibit towards their children.



You evidently have a rich fantasy life, and made up a story in your mind, in which, OF COURSE, they didn't need her, and yet, she was PATHOLOGICAL for picking up an that, and getting the fark on with her own life.

Sound like YOU have mommy issues, and demand that biatches kiss your ass all the time, or fark them to hell if they have their own life, right? Seen your kind many times before.

For guys like you, it is ALWAYS, TOTALLY the coonts fault. No matter what you do to them. Right?
 
2013-02-24 12:10:10 AM  
Her kids need to understand that she was there for a good part of their childhood and did for them as she could.

They should offer to take care of her. Say, for instance, she needed a ride to the hospital. They should go and pick her up and take her about 70% of the way there and then throw her out of the car. That's fair.
 
2013-02-24 12:20:50 AM  

fuzzlespoke: orbister: JonZoidberg: What a chav.  Chav is what you limeys call white trash, right?

IMHO, the kids were being little shiats but they were 16 and she needed to step up and be an grownup.  Amazing that she sees herself as blameless.

She did the grown up thing. She said "Ok, you are technically adults, so if you won't listen to me, you're on your own. Here's where I am if you need me." It's not very impressive that things got to that state, but given that they had, her action was reasonable.

At 16, they were not technically adults - they were still minors under the law, suddenly being w/o a home or parent, but not orphaned, probably made it difficult to get any services, especially if their mom had means of support. Also we only have her word about their behavior, no-one has interviewed the surviving twin.




Late to the party and all, but at 16 they are technically adults in the UK - old enough to have sex, get married, join the army, get state benefits, pay tax, give medical consent, hold tenancy of a council house etc. They may not have been mature but they had access to state-funded housing and benefits at the very least.
 
2013-02-24 12:33:40 AM  

WeenerGord: Sound like YOU have mommy issues, and demand that biatches kiss your ass all the time, or fark them to hell if they have their own life, right? Seen your kind many times before.

For guys like you, it is ALWAYS, TOTALLY the coonts fault. No matter what you do to them. Right?


LOOOOOOOOOOOL
images.encyclopediadramatica.se
"Guys like me", huh?  Hoooly crap do your profiling skills ever need work.
I mean, even aside from the fact that you apparently can't see the rather obvious blame-deflecting language she is using, or the simple fact that she abandoned her own teenage kids to be homeless and considered it to be "not her concern", I can't even begin to tell you how incredibly, ridiculously, comically far from making a correct assessment of my personality and my relationship with women you are.  For instance, I supported my mom's decision to get divorced when I was a young teenager (and not because my dad is a bad person, I have good relationships with both my parents) even though it was hard on us as kids, and I'm proud of her for subsequently going back to school and getting her masters degree (in history and women's studies, btw).  Far from resenting her for pursuing her own life, she was an inspiration for me to go back to school for physics after I left my telecom job in my mid 20s.  For another instance, the girl I'm dating does a lot of globetrotting without me.  In fact she has spent the last several weeks in East Africa and I've spent a fair amount of time digging up information to help her negotiate the irregular transportation situations and find hostels as she makes her way from Nairobi to Cape Town.  I don't begrudge her for taking trips without me, though, in fact if anything I wish I was more like her.  I think she's admirably adventurous and I'm happy to help out.

Anyway, you seem to think you know everything so maybe you'll just assume I've made all this up to discredit your oooobviously astute assessment of me.  Suffice to say, I don't really care; as far as I'm concerned you've already proven yourself utterly incapable of accurate analysis of behavior or personality.

Thanks for the laugh, at least.  LOL
I'll just go ahead and Farky you in my "beware of dumbass" color as "Not an FBI Profiler".
 
2013-02-24 01:14:25 AM  

Old Gnarled Oak: Mentalpatient87: TV's Vinnie: This may be the first time I have ever read a tale where the parent was perfectly justified for leaving. Sounds like these sons were a pair of absolute douchebags.

It's not like they were little tykes when she left. They were teens who were well into their rotten ways by the time she moved on.

Who raised them to be rotten, I wonder?

And who says that those kids were rotten... a mother who sounds like a sociopath.

Mentalpatient87: TV's Vinnie: This may be the first time I have ever read a tale where the parent was perfectly justified for leaving. Sounds like these sons were a pair of absolute douchebags.

It's not like they were little tykes when she left. They were teens who were well into their rotten ways by the time she moved on.

Who raised them to be rotten, I wonder?


This.

Yea when the kids were 16 it sounds like they were disrespectful little turds at best,,,but why?  Because they were raised by a loving supportive mother and just happened to have a triple copy of the asshole gene?  Or could it, just possibly, have been something about the way they were raised that affected their attitudes?

Teenagers in general tend toward the unstable side and push their boundaries...which is both very irritating and quite normal at that stage of maturation.  But really rotten teens usually grow from rotten little kids who were raised in a thick manure of crappy parenting.  Sounds like mom made a mess of things and bailed as soon as her kids were old enough that she wouldn't get charged with child abandonment.  Her shock that her sons would later proceed to abandon her is very natural but hey, you reap what you sow.
 
2013-02-24 01:59:09 AM  

Gawdzila: my mom's decision to get divorced when I was a young teenager


I knew it! Mommy issues, and in denial about it too!
 
2013-02-24 02:25:43 AM  
"But even now she showed limits to her guilt, adding: "While I hadn't seen him for five years, that had been his choice, not mine. I can't live my life blaming myself and wondering if things would've been different if I'd stayed. What's done is done and I can't change that.""

Just keep telling yourself that. You abandoned your children and this is the result of kids who don't have parents or love. You could have prevented this, but chose to not live up to the word "mother."
 
2013-02-24 02:38:38 AM  

WeenerGord: In what years were you homeless? In what part of the country? How did you survive "under a tarp" for 3 years if you had no money, no job, and no help at all? How did you get food, survive the winter, etc? Did you attend school or work at all? Where did you look for help?



Early to mid 90's, Southeastern US.

I survived because I worked on a farm in exchange for two meals a day, a spot in the barn, and $2/day, the same deal he gave to the illegal immigrant workers. A regular job meant I would have nowhere to sleep, nor any transportation to get there. And school was out of the question because the teachers always blindly accepted my father's story over mine.

After I ran away, I checked with every government agency I was able to find in the phone book. Most just assumed I was just another whiny teenager who was angry over being grounded, and the rest said that since my parents were still alive, in order to get help I would either need to be declared an emancipated adult (which required permission form my parents, thus impossible), or they would have to be legally declared unfit so the state could take custody (unlikely, since my father could explain away the evidence, and losing that case meant I would be sent back with my parents).

The only other options anyone suggested were to either live with a relative (who would just send me back to my parent's house anyway), or try to work things out with my parents (if that were possible, I wouldn't have ran away in the first place).

After I turned 18 and got my paperwork in order, I was eligible for welfare, section 8 housing, and able to get a real job to start becoming self-sufficient. But for those few years before the safety nets kicked in, I literally owe my life to that farmer, because everyone else told me to find my own way.

I'm sure getting help would have been much easier if I were in a city, but in the rural south, the prevailing attitude toward those who are down on their luck is 'fark you, I got mine'.


WeenerGord: I looked at your profile. You certainly do have a lot of anger, still, don't you?



Oh wow, I forgot I even had anything in my profile. That was something I picked up off another forum and pasted there around the time I made this account. I guess it's about time I get everything updated.
 
2013-02-24 03:12:31 AM  
rlv.zcache.co.uk

rlv.zcache.co.uk

rlv.zcache.co.uk

rlv.zcache.co.uk
 
2013-02-24 05:16:13 AM  
Eat, love, pray, die alone.
 
2013-02-24 06:45:30 AM  

Real Women Drink Akvavit: IIRC, in the UK they can legally leave home at 16. Instead of moving out, she could have kicked them out for being little shiats. If that's legal, of course. You never know.

/I know in Wales and England you can join the army at 16
//so there they go - no homelessness necessary, slackers


Took long enough for someone to point this out.

Almea Tarrant: Old Gnarled Oak: Mentalpatient87: TV's Vinnie: This may be the first time I have ever read a tale where the parent was perfectly justified for leaving. Sounds like these sons were a pair of absolute douchebags.

It's not like they were little tykes when she left. They were teens who were well into their rotten ways by the time she moved on.

Who raised them to be rotten, I wonder?

And who says that those kids were rotten... a mother who sounds like a sociopath.Mentalpatient87: TV's Vinnie: This may be the first time I have ever read a tale where the parent was perfectly justified for leaving. Sounds like these sons were a pair of absolute douchebags.

It's not like they were little tykes when she left. They were teens who were well into their rotten ways by the time she moved on.

Who raised them to be rotten, I wonder?

This.

Yea when the kids were 16 it sounds like they were disrespectful little turds at best,,,but why?  Because they were raised by a loving supportive mother and just happened to have a triple copy of the asshole gene?  Or could it, just possibly, have been something about the way they were raised that affected their attitudes?

Teenagers in general tend toward the unstable side and push their boundaries...which is both very irritating and quite normal at that stage of maturation.  But really rotten teens usually grow from rotten little kids who were raised in a thick manure of crappy parenting.  Sounds like mom made a mess of things and bailed as soon as her kids were old enough that she wouldn't get charged with child abandonment.  Her shock that her sons would later proceed to abandon her is very natural but hey, you reap what you sow.


Children are, effectively, finished being raised by age 12-13.  If you don't do your job in the first decade of their life, the teen years are going to be absolute hell.  Your job as a parent during that time is to teach empathy, consequences and the value of human life...so that when they start pushing those boundaries, they stop long before people get hurt.  If you fail to do this, you are raising a partially broken human being.  It really IS that simple.
 
2013-02-24 08:47:02 AM  

orbister: LoneWolf343: orbister: JonZoidberg: What a chav.  Chav is what you limeys call white trash, right?

IMHO, the kids were being little shiats but they were 16 and she needed to step up and be an grownup.  Amazing that she sees herself as blameless.

She did the grown up thing. She said "Ok, you are technically adults, so if you won't listen to me, you're on your own. Here's where I am if you need me." It's not very impressive that things got to that state, but given that they had, her action was reasonable.

No, no they weren't.

At 16 in the UK you can legally leave school, live on your own, join the armed forces and get married.


It's almost as if the people squawking this line have never met a 16 year old...
 
2013-02-24 12:00:37 PM  
I dont know why people keep trying to pick sides. that whole family needs to be burned to the ground.
 
2013-02-24 01:05:15 PM  

the ha ha guy: Early to mid 90's, Southeastern US.


Sounds like it sucked, man, but it's all in how you look at it. You probably came out of those two or three years in great physical shape and with a value of  hard work, maybe a second language. Compared to the usual soft handed, lazy, spoiled out of shape couch potatoes of that age, I'd say you came out ahead. Were you able to go on to finish high school and get some college too, or did you go straight to work? What was the story your father was telling, how was that not the truth? And yeah, prolly there were far less programs available to you there, because of the culture of that place, maybe an emphasis on families taking care of their own,  the possible lower taxes and money available for such programs, or the good ole boy network not wanting to allocate funds to such programs. And maybe in the early 90s, public support for welfare could have been drying up.

There would have been more money and programs available in cities, and maybe less questions asked or more activist lawyers and social workers willing to find a way to help you, but there would have been more predators too, and because of the jacked up property taxes, rent would have been more expensive, maybe too much to afford even on welfare unless you lived in subsidized housing or in a crime area. Lot of people live on the streets in the big cities, some of them might be getting social security or welfare but still can't afford the rents. If you avoided the kind of drugs and violence and other abuse that happens in some cities, you were probably better off working on the farm.

I still think that that some program should have been in place to support an abused underage runaway, without the parent involvement, if that runaway could demonstrate actual abuse from the parent they were escaping, but yeah. Maybe that farmer who employed you was that resource that God made available to you in that place and time. Hope it helped ya.
 
2013-02-24 01:37:23 PM  
A substantial portion of the world's problems can be traced back to a shiatty mother.
 
2013-02-24 01:46:37 PM  

Adingo8mybb: A substantial portion of the world's problems can be traced back to a shiatty mother.


Rock the cradle, rule the world
 
2013-02-24 03:58:25 PM  

FunkOut: I'm think England has more of a problem than the USA for growns up who won't act like grown ups raising angry uncontrollable children who then repeat the problem when they then start producing children without any forethought or knowledge. Wanting your child to be your best buddy while binge drinking and acting like a teenager...terrible idea.


Leftist cradle to the grave government entitlements creates pseudo adults.

/Where is my Obama bucks? fark working!
 
2013-02-24 05:53:41 PM  
Whose the bigger arsehole in this story? Because none of you are coming off smelling like roses.
 
2013-02-25 12:57:38 PM  
Weener Gord


*checks profile

heh. answers everything.
 
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