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(Newsnet5)   "Please take your Farkin' Christmas lights down..... Don't make me tell you again. Thanks Biatch"   (newsnet5.com) divider line 82
    More: Misc, Christmas lights, Elyria  
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7215 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Feb 2013 at 1:22 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-22 11:57:17 PM  
I have no idea how someone could care so much about someone else having Christmas lights up year round.  My neighbors have various colored lights up year round all over the front of their place.  Why should I give a shiat?  If she's 84 I might ask if she wants me to help her take them down, but that would be about the most I'd care.

If they install Xmas lights on MY windows or MY porch or MY dog, then I'll care.  Maybe.  Not if they're tasteful I guess, and seasonable.  Probably.

I digress.  The letter was really, really crass, but how was it threatening enough that the police really care?  Maybe the "don't make me tell you again" was the part that was threatening enough they want to investigate?  Maybe he just meant, "don't make me tell you again or I'll start decorating my house with strippers and taco trucks."  To me, strippers and taco trucks all over a neighborhood sounds like a great place to live, but I bet it would drive that woman crazy.
 
2013-02-23 12:24:45 AM  

davidphogan: I have no idea how someone could care so much about someone else having Christmas lights up year round.  My neighbors have various colored lights up year round all over the front of their place.  Why should I give a shiat?  If she's 84 I might ask if she wants me to help her take them down, but that would be about the most I'd care.

If they install Xmas lights on MY windows or MY porch or MY dog, then I'll care.  Maybe.  Not if they're tasteful I guess, and seasonable.  Probably.

I digress.  The letter was really, really crass, but how was it threatening enough that the police really care?  Maybe the "don't make me tell you again" was the part that was threatening enough they want to investigate?  Maybe he just meant, "don't make me tell you again or I'll start decorating my house with strippers and taco trucks."  To me, strippers and taco trucks all over a neighborhood sounds like a great place to live, but I bet it would drive that woman crazy.


This.  Well not the strippers and taco trucks, but I digress.

Sure makes the sleep deprived snowplow driver Dogg seem downright civil.  However Dogg is not from Ohio either, which works to his behalf.  If the person wants the lights down so bad, they could've done it last night during the storm.
 
2013-02-23 12:36:25 AM  
Someone who cars that much that a LOL in the neighborhood likes her Christmas lights too much is a bit deranged if you ask me. When that somewhat deranged tells a LOL "don't make me tell you again", it's time to involve the police. So fingerprint the idiotic note and go have a talk with the sender. Then send them a bill for the cost. Call it the "asshat tax".
 
2013-02-23 01:04:46 AM  
I can't take my lights down until the rest of my jack-o-lantern rots away.
 
2013-02-23 01:24:16 AM  
do you want the family man or do you want the swingin' man?

family man

you get the family man
family man
FAMILY man
with your glances my way, takin no chance on the new day
family man,with your life all planned;
your little sand castle built, smilin through your guilt, family man
here i come
here i come family man
i come to infect; i come to rape your women;
i come to take your children into the street;
i come for YOU family man, with your christmas lights already up,
your such a MAN when your puttin up your christmas lights,
first on the block;
 
2013-02-23 01:26:32 AM  
I'd leave 'em up longer just to piss the neighbor off.  YOU don't tell me when to take my lights off of my house.  Unless we live in some Nazi HOA, then I'll bend over and let you fark me in the ass while I take them down to suit your sensibilities.
 
2013-02-23 01:27:02 AM  
Having your lights up all year is kinda white trashy, but it's not my house so I don't care what my neighbours do.

Threatening little old ladies in anonymous notes is douchebaggery of the highest order. Doing so over Xmas lights!? Time for anger management classes.
 
2013-02-23 01:27:03 AM  
I hope her neighbors put all their Christmas lights back up.
 
2013-02-23 01:27:12 AM  

jaylectricity: I can't take my lights down until the rest of my jack-o-lantern rots away.


EXACTLY!
 
2013-02-23 01:31:12 AM  

jaylectricity: I can't take my lights down until the rest of my jack-o-lantern rots away.


I can't take mine down until the last Easter egg is found.
 
2013-02-23 01:33:18 AM  
I'm glad the cops are still investigation.
 
2013-02-23 01:34:24 AM  
mlkshk.com
 
2013-02-23 01:35:09 AM  

jaylectricity: I can't take my lights down until the rest of my jack-o-lantern rots away.


Use your leftover 4th of July fireworks to speed that up significantly.
 
2013-02-23 01:35:42 AM  
84-year-old Elyria woman

24.media.tumblr.com

I wouldn't mess with her if you know what's good for you.
 
2013-02-23 01:36:13 AM  

BarkingUnicorn: jaylectricity: I can't take my lights down until the rest of my jack-o-lantern rots away.

I can't take mine down until the last Easter egg is found.


Guess I shouldn't take mine down until I sober up from St Patrick's Day.
 
2013-02-23 01:36:29 AM  

LordOfThePings: I'm glad the cops are still investigation.


*snerk*
 
2013-02-23 01:37:40 AM  
They're not Christmas lights. They're now Valentine's St Paddy's April Fools Cinco de Mayo [...] lights.

/fark you, crazy person
 
2013-02-23 01:38:06 AM  
Yeaaahh; threatening L.O.Ls ( little old ladies); probably some busy body neighbor threw the hedges.

/ mind they don't shoot you with an armidilla gun

// intentional misspelling; it's a reference to a movie
 
2013-02-23 01:40:44 AM  
Eh, if you leave your Christmas lights up all year round then they're no longer Christmas lights, ya know? When everyone's special, no one is.
 
2013-02-23 01:42:11 AM  
They're not Christmas lights, they're holiday lights. There is a holiday of some sort every month but August. Right now, they are in transition from being President's Day lights to being St. Patrick's day lights.
 
2013-02-23 01:42:47 AM  

Bill_Wick's_Friend: Having your lights up all year is kinda white trashy


I don't think "white trash" applies in this case.
 
2013-02-23 01:48:56 AM  
i thought presidents day lights were appropriate... no? well ok, but what about millard fillmore?
 
2013-02-23 01:49:13 AM  

LordOfThePings: I'm glad the cops are still investigation.


That whole sentence is gold.

"Police have not named suspect, but said they are still investigation."
 
2013-02-23 01:50:01 AM  
Old woman loving life while she still can. Go granny go.

Neighbor two houses over has had at least 1huge tow-behind camper in his driveway since moving in 4 years ago. Sometimes they have 2. Never 0, not once. Looks like hell. Fark 'em. Evidently they are too stupid to just sell the thing they are not using and enjoy the money.
 
2013-02-23 01:53:08 AM  

Bill_Wick's_Friend: Having your lights up all year is kinda white trashy, but it's not my house so I don't care what my neighbours do.


That's racist! And she didn't look white either.

But yeah - her house, her lights. She can do what she wants.

If you get so upset about xmas lights on your neighbors house that you threaten an old lady you should seek help.

Now, if you set up speakers in front of your house and crank up some Xmas music and stand in front of my house which is across the street so you can watch your specially audio-synchronized light show late at night and after it's over start yelling encore I will open the door and suggest an encore is not in order.

They did it again this year, but not so late at night and they kept the volume down so I didn't say a word to them.

/csb?
 
2013-02-23 01:54:52 AM  

think_balance: LordOfThePings: I'm glad the cops are still investigation.

That whole sentence is gold.

"Police have not named suspect, but said they are still investigation."


Halfway though that last word I retconned the whole article in a Jamaican accent.
 
2013-02-23 01:58:34 AM  
I drive home from work shortly after midnight every week night. I like that there are still some lights wired up in some trees on the way home. It's pretty and fun, and non-boring. People that are upset about this need to get a life, or at least a sex life.
 
2013-02-23 01:58:43 AM  
The original reason for "Solstice Lights", before the christians hijacked the holiday from the Pagans, was to brighten the dreary, dark days of winter...all of winter.
 
2013-02-23 01:59:34 AM  
Ain't no law bout bein a redneck. And that's the fact, jack.

Unless you are controlled by a Nazi HOA. In that case, move.
 
2013-02-23 02:00:24 AM  

iheartscotch: Yeaaahh; threatening L.O.Ls ( little old ladies); probably some busy body neighbor threw the hedges.

/ mind they don't shoot you with an armidilla gun

// intentional misspelling; it's a reference to a movie


Which one was intended?
 
2013-02-23 02:03:49 AM  

uncoveror: They're not Christmas lights, they're holiday lights. There is a holiday of some sort every month but August. Right now, they are in transition from being President's Day lights to being St. Patrick's day lights.


Except August? Au contraire!

http://www.holidayinsights.com/moreholidays/august.htm
 
HBK
2013-02-23 02:07:32 AM  

This About That: Someone who cars that much that a LOL in the neighborhood likes her Christmas lights too much is a bit deranged if you ask me. When that somewhat deranged tells a LOL "don't make me tell you again", it's time to involve the police. So fingerprint the idiotic note and go have a talk with the sender. Then send them a bill for the cost. Call it the "asshat tax".


Your post makes little sense.  Half of your sentences aren't even sentences. Why do you keep laughing out loud at this poor, elderly woman's tragedy? You're pretty heartless.
 
2013-02-23 02:15:38 AM  

uncoveror: They're not Christmas lights, they're holiday lights. There is a holiday of some sort every month but August. Right now, they are in transition from being President's Day lights to being St. Patrick's day lights.


Actually, it's Purim right now.
 
2013-02-23 02:15:51 AM  
If they are farking blinky lights that you can see through reasonable curtains, then take em down. Otherwise, who cares?
 
2013-02-23 02:17:06 AM  
My xmas lights are still up and they're gonna stay up until spring.  It's farking cold outside.
 
2013-02-23 02:17:45 AM  

lack of warmth: davidphogan: I have no idea how someone could care so much about someone else having Christmas lights up year round.  My neighbors have various colored lights up year round all over the front of their place.  Why should I give a shiat?  If she's 84 I might ask if she wants me to help her take them down, but that would be about the most I'd care.

If they install Xmas lights on MY windows or MY porch or MY dog, then I'll care.  Maybe.  Not if they're tasteful I guess, and seasonable.  Probably.

I digress.  The letter was really, really crass, but how was it threatening enough that the police really care?  Maybe the "don't make me tell you again" was the part that was threatening enough they want to investigate?  Maybe he just meant, "don't make me tell you again or I'll start decorating my house with strippers and taco trucks."  To me, strippers and taco trucks all over a neighborhood sounds like a great place to live, but I bet it would drive that woman crazy.

This.  Well not the strippers and taco trucks, but I digress.

Sure makes the sleep deprived snowplow driver Dogg seem downright civil.  However Dogg is not from Ohio either, which works to his behalf.  If the person wants the lights down so bad, they could've done it last night during the storm.


This. Well not the snowplow driver or Ohio, but I digress.

If people want to disorient the real deer walking abound their yards with plastic lighted reindeer, throwing dog poo on their roof every night in the hope that Saint Nick soon would be there, that's their business. I've got a farm to run.
 
2013-02-23 02:17:47 AM  

Bathysphere: If


Exactly.
 
2013-02-23 02:18:08 AM  
a3.ec-images.myspacecdn.com

It's Clobberin' Time!
 
2013-02-23 02:19:31 AM  

HBK: You're pretty heartless.


All I'm saying is that if deer had tail lights many of them would live longer. Why not Christmas lights on a LOL?
 
2013-02-23 02:25:46 AM  

Yuri Futanari: I hope her neighbors put all their Christmas lights back up.


I LOVE this idea!
 
2013-02-23 02:27:33 AM  

OhioUGrad: BarkingUnicorn: jaylectricity: I can't take my lights down until the rest of my jack-o-lantern rots away.

I can't take mine down until the last Easter egg is found.

Guess I shouldn't take mine down until I sober up from the holidays, some time around St Patrick's Day.

FTFY

 
2013-02-23 02:38:32 AM  
ambiance.
that little smile of satisfaction when you plug the bug zapper into the end of your christmas lights.
seasonings.
 
HBK
2013-02-23 02:51:22 AM  

This About That: HBK: You're pretty heartless.

All I'm saying is that if deer had tail lights many of them would live longer. Why not Christmas lights on a LOL?


Again, you make no sense.  Are you retarded, or is it a form of tourette's or something? You keep laughing out loud before you finish your sentences.
 
2013-02-23 02:55:08 AM  
I BET THE JEWS Q'S DID THIS!
www.therealstevegray.com

 
2013-02-23 03:00:17 AM  
I read stories like this, and it reinforces my decision to buy a home with a well run HOA.

Concerning the particular story. I would ask my neighbors to help the 84 year old woman take down and put up her lights every year, or help pay to have it done professionally myself. No big deal.
 
2013-02-23 03:04:04 AM  

HBK: Again, you make no sense.


You take yourself very seriously, don't you?
 
2013-02-23 03:04:20 AM  

Dahnkster: I BET THE JEWS Q'S DID THIS!
[www.therealstevegray.com image 501x317]


There's no way I'm believing that's real, but it is awesome.

HBK: This About That: Someone who cars that much that a LOL in the neighborhood likes her Christmas lights too much is a bit deranged if you ask me. When that somewhat deranged tells a LOL "don't make me tell you again", it's time to involve the police. So fingerprint the idiotic note and go have a talk with the sender. Then send them a bill for the cost. Call it the "asshat tax".

Your post makes little sense.  Half of your sentences aren't even sentences. Why do you keep laughing out loud at this poor, elderly woman's tragedy? You're pretty heartless.


Not sure if serious. I guess this is one advantage to being somewhat of an old fart and having enough critical thinking skills to imagine that LOL might stand for something other than laughing out loud. I consider 84 old and she is a lady. Maybe she's even little. lol
 
2013-02-23 03:23:46 AM  

HBK: This About That: HBK: You're pretty heartless.

All I'm saying is that if deer had tail lights many of them would live longer. Why not Christmas lights on a LOL?

Again, you make no sense.  Are you retarded, or is it a form of tourette's or something? You keep laughing out loud before you finish your sentences.


On the off chance you're not just being annoyingly obtuse, LOL stands for little old lady.
 
2013-02-23 03:27:18 AM  
It was probably from her HOA
 
2013-02-23 03:30:50 AM  
shiat like this is why people are starting to hate Christmas. Can we restrict Teh Season!!! to one month? Please?
 
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