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(News.com.au)   Does your grieving process last more than two weeks? Congratulations, you have a mental disorder   (news.com.au) divider line 116
    More: Asinine, mental illness, Santa Clara University, Australia and New Zealand, psychiatrists, American Psychiatric Association, DSM, Australian Psychological Society  
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2984 clicks; posted to Geek » on 22 Feb 2013 at 5:23 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-22 07:59:39 PM

Skail: Summoner101: Skail: sno man: lose a baby and get back to me with your list in two weeks, big guy.

Or a spouse...

Or a parent or a best friend or a mentor.

A loss of some that's close to you or you highly regard, especially when it's unexpected or sudden, is going to make an impact.  Putting a time limit on someone's grief or feeling like there's something wrong with that person for grieving is only going to make it harder for them to actually work through it, fully cope with it, and eventually, hopefully move on.  It's not an on/off switch, it's a day to day battle towards peace.  Those around someone grieving thinking otherwise only makes the person trying their best to cope work that much harder because now they're grieving and have people forcing them to meet expectations they may not yet be able to fully handle.

And still, at the end of the day, some losses you never really recover from.

Word.  I have doubt I'll ever recover, and I thought myself resilient.  I'd hate to deal with what others are...


Best of luck on your journey.  As long as you're having more good days than bad days, that's the most you can ask for.  Just have the wisdom to ask for help before you need it.
 
2013-02-22 08:05:05 PM

Aello: I lost my mom on the 5th of this month. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer that had spread to her liver in Nov. I cried, raged and hated everyone and everything before she passed.  Now that she's gone, I feel strange because I haven't broken down,  I haven't cried and what not. I am just relieved that she's not in pain anymore and that she actually told us to celebrate her life instead of mourn.


My dad passed away suddenly 3 years ago, he was not well for a very long time before that, and I had a similar reaction. There will be things that turn up that will make you cry, some silly little random thing will set it off and you will wonder where that came from. A few may even make you laugh too.
 
2013-02-22 08:07:04 PM

Freudian_slipknot: rustypouch: BigJake: I would expect most non-mentally ill people to grieve for a lot longer than that for certain events. A parent losing a child, for instance. A pet, maybe not so much.

Well, look at how easy it is to replace them.

New pets are practically given away, and the ones they can't give away are killed.

There's just a bit more in raising a kid.

You're kidding, right?  Replacing a kid is just one drunken fark away.  High schoolers manage to do it without trying.  People have to actually form strategies and medications to NOT have more kids. The paperwork at the pound is more involved than that.  I've never heard of someone drunk texting an ex and ending up with a new puppy from it.


LOL, that was awesome.
 
2013-02-22 08:08:51 PM

if_i_really_have_to: Oh this bullshiat again.  Is this the fourth or fifth article that Fark has greenlighted on the same rubbish?  "LOL I don't know anything about how mental illness is diagnosed but this sounds dumb so I'm just going to believe it LOL WTF LOL."  I'm not sure what Prof Larson (not a medical doctor, by the way) has against it, and as a professor in psychology he should know better.

Here is the criteria (one of many) they seem to be talking about changing:
[cut]


Thanks.  I was going to ask on that in a comment since it seemed just too absurd to call someone mentally ill if they are sad for two weeks after their child dies.

So basically what the guidelines are referring to is not being sad or having pain over the loss.  It is talking about severe inability to function above and beyond what most of us experience?

/Words often don't mean exactly the same thing in professional-speak as they do ordinary vernacular English.
 
2013-02-22 08:14:43 PM
I had a cousin who died suddenly years back & his dad looks like he'll be grieving forever. I don't think he's weird for it. They were so close. He doesn't need to get over it.
 
2013-02-22 08:23:14 PM

sno man: Sorry Skail, I had more of a fist bump, your not alone kinda post in mind in response to your post...  the new interface still farks up my best intentions from time to time.


I hear you.  It's received.  We're all friends here. :)
 
2013-02-22 08:28:46 PM

if_i_really_have_to: Think about the person closest to you that you grieved for. Did you have AT LEAST FIVE of these symptoms for more than two weeks? Having five or more of the above symptoms would actually be a really extraordinary grief reaction, outside "the norm".


Depends how close someone is to you. Married couples who lose someone they've been with for decades often go through those criteria for much longer than 2 weeks.

/The ones who don't were secretly waiting for them to die.
 
2013-02-22 08:40:08 PM
It has been a decade and I'm still mourning the loss of my Pyrex baking dish and martini glasses.
 
2013-02-22 08:50:03 PM

cgraves67: Wow. The current standard is 2 months. Crap. I've never lost a spouse, but I think I would grieve for a lot longer than 2 months.

I think if you grieve for less than 2 weeks you might have a mental disorderbe guilty.


FTFM
 
2013-02-22 08:51:47 PM

if_i_really_have_to: This is a "ruling out" criteria. Before you even get to this criteria (E) you have to have passed through criteria A-D. The first criteria (A) is to have five or more of these for more than two weeks:

- depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, as indicated by either subjective report (e.g., feels sad or empty) or observation made by others (e.g., appears tearful). Note: In children and adolescents, can be irritable mood.
- markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day (as indicated by either subjective account or observation made by others)
- significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain (e.g., a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month), or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day.
- Insomnia or Hypersomnia nearly every day
- psychomotor agitation or retardation nearly every day (observable by others, not merely subjective feelings of restlessness or being slowed down)
- fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day
- feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt (which may be delusional) nearly every day (not merely self-reproach or guilt about being sick)
- diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day (either by subjective account or as observed by others)
- recurrent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying), recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide

AND THEN it also must "cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. "


Hell, I did worse than that over a divorce and that guy is still breathing today.  Grief doesn't work on a time table and no one gets to decide when it's over but the person grieving.
 
2013-02-22 08:53:27 PM

J. Frank Parnell: if_i_really_have_to: Think about the person closest to you that you grieved for. Did you have AT LEAST FIVE of these symptoms for more than two weeks? Having five or more of the above symptoms would actually be a really extraordinary grief reaction, outside "the norm".

Depends how close someone is to you. Married couples who lose someone they've been with for decades often go through those criteria for much longer than 2 weeks.

/The ones who don't were secretly waiting for them to die.


Has nothing to do with decades.  My wife passed away after less than three years of marriage. She was my best friend, my soul mate, and everything else.  She was my everything, and now she's gone.  It has nothing to do with duration.  It's just the response.  And it sucks.  So I wouldn't begrudge anyone their grief and I wouldn't claim it's not a mental disorder.  It ranks right up there with PTSD, sometimes.  The human mind is a screwy and unpredictable place.
 
2013-02-22 08:54:12 PM

if_i_really_have_to: "cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. "


This!  Every time one of these articles comes up Farkers practically shiat themselves running to decry the pussyification of todays youth or whatever idiocy of the moment they feel like ejaculating, but all of these articles skip that part, that for something to actually qualify for a medical diagnosis it must be negatively impacting your life.

And if it is negatively impacting your ability to function in society, wouldn't that be something that needs fixing through either talking it out, or group hugs, or whatever it ends up taking?  I just don't understand how or why so many people go apeshiat trying to tear psychology down over stupid shiat like this article.
 
2013-02-22 09:03:12 PM
sno man, I know that there will be things that set me off. I'm actually feeling quite lost right now because I want to call and talk to her about stuff happening in my life and I can't. I've wondered if there is something wrong with me, or that this is a sign of an epic break down. I figure I'm either really messed up, or incredibly well adjusted since I did get closure. I sat there holding her hand and talked with her when she took her last breath.
 
2013-02-22 09:03:47 PM

TheMysteriousStranger: if_i_really_have_to: Oh this bullshiat again.  Is this the fourth or fifth article that Fark has greenlighted on the same rubbish?  "LOL I don't know anything about how mental illness is diagnosed but this sounds dumb so I'm just going to believe it LOL WTF LOL."  I'm not sure what Prof Larson (not a medical doctor, by the way) has against it, and as a professor in psychology he should know better.

Here is the criteria (one of many) they seem to be talking about changing:
[cut]

Thanks.  I was going to ask on that in a comment since it seemed just too absurd to call someone mentally ill if they are sad for two weeks after their child dies.

So basically what the guidelines are referring to is not being sad or having pain over the loss.  It is talking about severe inability to function above and beyond what most of us experience?

/Words often don't mean exactly the same thing in professional-speak as they do ordinary vernacular English.


No its still bullshiat even in the professional-speak. Grief isn't like baking a cake. You can't just set a timer and wait for it to go ding.
 
2013-02-22 09:08:33 PM
Government giving itself the ability to restrict more and more rights based on subjective mental health opinions on one hand....increasing the things that can be classified as mental disorders on the other.

Seems legit.
 
2013-02-22 09:09:15 PM

LowbrowDeluxe: And if it is negatively impacting your ability to function in society, wouldn't that be something that needs fixing through either talking it out, or group hugs, or whatever it ends up taking?


Some things can't be fixed. Treasure this time in your life. The ability to be naive' about grief is a temporary state. Enjoy it.
 
2013-02-22 09:15:36 PM

Aello: sno man, I know that there will be things that set me off. I'm actually feeling quite lost right now because I want to call and talk to her about stuff happening in my life and I can't. I've wondered if there is something wrong with me, or that this is a sign of an epic break down. I figure I'm either really messed up, or incredibly well adjusted since I did get closure. I sat there holding her hand and talked with her when she took her last breath.


I wasn't a fan of the idea going in, but seek out a bereavement group in your area, and share, it will help. Some someone will have been where you are now not that long ago.
 
2013-02-22 09:18:01 PM

Skail: Has nothing to do with decades. My wife passed away after less than three years of marriage. She was my best friend, my soul mate, and everything else. She was my everything, and now she's gone. It has nothing to do with duration. It's just the response. And it sucks. So I wouldn't begrudge anyone their grief and I wouldn't claim it's not a mental disorder. It ranks right up there with PTSD, sometimes. The human mind is a screwy and unpredictable place.


Oh, i agree. Was just using that example because it was the first to come to mind. When you have that kind of closeness it doesn't matter so much how long you were together.
 
2013-02-22 09:18:38 PM

Aello: sno man, I know that there will be things that set me off. I'm actually feeling quite lost right now because I want to call and talk to her about stuff happening in my life and I can't. I've wondered if there is something wrong with me, or that this is a sign of an epic break down. I figure I'm either really messed up, or incredibly well adjusted since I did get closure. I sat there holding her hand and talked with her when she took her last breath.


Fark has your back, yo.
 
2013-02-22 09:20:23 PM

quickdraw: LowbrowDeluxe: And if it is negatively impacting your ability to function in society, wouldn't that be something that needs fixing through either talking it out, or group hugs, or whatever it ends up taking?

Some things can't be fixed. Treasure this time in your life. The ability to be naive' about grief is a temporary state. Enjoy it.


And honestly, there's no reason your life can't be at least more meaningful after such an experience than before. Often, you cannot go back to before, but I contend that believing that you must is an affront to the person you lost. The rub is those that aren't going through the same is they place the same or greater expectations on you.

While grief sucks, it at least has the utility of defining or redefining your priorities as well as clarifying those people and things which are most important to you. As long as you, y'know, survive.
 
2013-02-22 09:22:14 PM

J. Frank Parnell: Skail: Has nothing to do with decades. My wife passed away after less than three years of marriage. She was my best friend, my soul mate, and everything else. She was my everything, and now she's gone. It has nothing to do with duration. It's just the response. And it sucks. So I wouldn't begrudge anyone their grief and I wouldn't claim it's not a mental disorder. It ranks right up there with PTSD, sometimes. The human mind is a screwy and unpredictable place.

Oh, i agree. Was just using that example because it was the first to come to mind. When you have that kind of closeness it doesn't matter so much how long you were together.


Fair enough.  It's sucky no matter how you look at it.  Is it a mental disorder?  Yes, temporarily...the duration just differs based upon the person.  I'm at four months, and I swear I'm having hallucinations from time to time (today, I flinched away from a tv that was 20 meters in the background, for instance).  But just as some people only require a month, I think others might require years, just depending both upon their closeness to the departed and their own resilience.

So, yes.  I concur. :P
 
2013-02-22 09:32:04 PM

LowbrowDeluxe: And if it is negatively impacting your ability to function in society, wouldn't that be something that needs fixing


No. I'm sure a lot of corporate efficiency experts get steamed about people taking time off work to grieve or for other emotional issues, but that's just how things are. At least until they drug us all into a zombie state and everything runs like clockwork.
 
2013-02-22 09:33:39 PM
And thanks Skail for the TF!

I still won't sleep with you :P
 
2013-02-22 09:43:10 PM
Thanks to Skail and sno man.  And thank you to the person who sponsored me for a month of TF:)
 
2013-02-22 09:49:15 PM
Aello: I lost my mom

Aello: sno man, I know that there will be things that set me off. I'm actually feeling quite lost right now because I want to call and talk to her about stuff happening in my life and I can't. I've wondered if there is something wrong with me, or that this is a sign of an epic break down. I figure I'm either really messed up, or incredibly well adjusted since I did get closure. I sat there holding her hand and talked with her when she took her last breath.


Post-op brain cancer surgery.  I walked out of the room as soon as I could to hang with my same aged cousin shortly after she asked me to "feed the bogs [dogs]".  I was already in denial - actually thoping (think/hoping) she'd get better, I suppose.  But I was a teenager and, fark it, I've got a buddy to play with.  Much easier than this shiat.

Made the grief when she died the next day that much harder, instantly understanding that near the end of my career as a teenaged asshole, that would be her last member of me.

Gettin' close to 30 years now. Not sure when the "grieving" may have stopped, but I still kick myself sometimes.
 
2013-02-22 09:52:27 PM

Skail: Is it a mental disorder? Yes, temporarily


Humans are going to be disordered from time to time, and i think that's fine. We're not machines quite yet.

Another thing, is the drugs they prescribe for mental illnesses never cure anything, you just become dependent on them. So instead of people going through a natural grieving process or general depression, and eventually coming out of it, you just end up dependent on drugs and never dealing with things. The moment you come off the drugs it's all waiting for you.
 
2013-02-22 09:56:11 PM
there's a pill that gets Bob out of your body?
 
2013-02-22 09:56:12 PM

Aello: Thanks to Skail and sno man.  And thank you to the person who sponsored me for a month of TF:)


EIP if you need an ear some time.
 
2013-02-22 10:01:44 PM
RatOmeter:  member of me.
 "memory", dammit.
 
2013-02-22 10:41:17 PM

UseUrHeadFred: You know that pain and guilt can't be taken away with a wave of a magic wand.  They're the things we carry with us, the things that make us who we are.

If we lose them, we lose ourselves.

I don't want my pain taken away!  I need my pain!


That was actually a really great moment in a really terrible movie.
 
2013-02-22 10:59:22 PM
So, let's see, I lost a dad to a storke, a step-son who was killed walking on the road by our home one evening and my younger sister(only sister) who was murdered by some nutjob and dumped into the Intercoastal Waterway. I lost two bowling buddies and three best friends. One of which was an old love of mine who died in my home before anybody realized she was in trouble and another who had just gotten married and died while sitting in his chair one morning after kissing his new wife.  Oh, and another who had played golf with the undertaker one day and complained of chest pains. He went to the emergency room later that night and died of a heart attack. By my count that's eight and that was all between 2000 and 2010. My grieving process may take a while and by all rights it may never be over. Yes it's affected me and it cost me my marriage but frankly I feel lucky to just have my sanity after all that. Grief is a terrible thing and it takes as long as it takes imo.
 
2013-02-22 11:01:35 PM

BigJake: I would expect most non-mentally ill people to grieve for a lot longer than that for certain events. A parent losing a child, for instance. A pet, maybe not so much.


You have no idea how much the loss of a pet means to people who don't/can't have children. Two weeks for grief is nothing IMHO. On the other hand, I recently bought a jewelry piece for my grieving wife. The store owner told me of her fiancee (they are older people) who cannot speak of the loss of his German Shephard 12 years on. it reduces the man to tears. He openly admitted to her he loved that dog more than his 3 children from his first marriage.

I've lost dozens of friends, relatives, neighbors and classmates over the years. The worst pain I ever felt was the passing of our Chow-Chow. She was truly special, my constant companion for 10 years. I'm amazed I didn't suicide over her passing.

RIP Chili 12/29/2012
 
2013-02-22 11:07:10 PM

draa: I feel lucky to just have my sanity after all that.


I'd say so. That's a crazy streak of unpleasantness. Good to hear you managed to cope.
 
2013-02-22 11:54:08 PM

J. Frank Parnell: LowbrowDeluxe: And if it is negatively impacting your ability to function in society, wouldn't that be something that needs fixing

No. I'm sure a lot of corporate efficiency experts get steamed about people taking time off work to grieve or for other emotional issues, but that's just how things are. At least until they drug us all into a zombie state and everything runs like clockwork.


That's a shame that is just criminal. I feel sure that there was pressure from such entities to define the time period to "buck up or shut up." Or get some meds to fix you right up.

As my abnormal psych prof said about depression "there are times when you SHOULD feel sad, and shouldn't be medicated. Bereavement is one of them."
 
2013-02-22 11:56:25 PM

KrispyKritter: BigJake: I would expect most non-mentally ill people to grieve for a lot longer than that for certain events. A parent losing a child, for instance. A pet, maybe not so much.

You have no idea how much the loss of a pet means to people who don't/can't have children. Two weeks for grief is nothing IMHO. On the other hand, I recently bought a jewelry piece for my grieving wife. The store owner told me of her fiancee (they are older people) who cannot speak of the loss of his German Shephard 12 years on. it reduces the man to tears. He openly admitted to her he loved that dog more than his 3 children from his first marriage.

I've lost dozens of friends, relatives, neighbors and classmates over the years. The worst pain I ever felt was the passing of our Chow-Chow. She was truly special, my constant companion for 10 years. I'm amazed I didn't suicide over her passing.

RIP Chili 12/29/2012


Mr. Bojangles grieved for over twenty years after his dog up and died.
 
2013-02-23 12:02:05 AM
Dance?
 
2013-02-23 12:23:50 AM

casual disregard: Human nature is complicated. Our beliefs and our thoughts are complicated.

I don't think anybody would disagree with that. Now introduce a machine which transcribes your thoughts and beliefs onto a screen.

Everybody can see what you think or believe. And it's all public access. Give it a decade or two. It's coming.


I believe that's called Facebook.
 
2013-02-23 12:44:47 AM
We lost our granddaughter last year. Go ahead and put me down for the mental disorder then. I still have my moments when I break down and I doubt that will ever go away.
 
2013-02-23 12:48:54 AM
Fark that. I had my daughter die in my arms. It was thirteen years ago, but god damn if anyone is going to tell me my grief is insane.

Somebody obviously wants a punch in the nose.
 
2013-02-23 01:07:24 AM

Fano: J. Frank Parnell: LowbrowDeluxe: And if it is negatively impacting your ability to function in society, wouldn't that be something that needs fixing

No. I'm sure a lot of corporate efficiency experts get steamed about people taking time off work to grieve or for other emotional issues, but that's just how things are. At least until they drug us all into a zombie state and everything runs like clockwork.

That's a shame that is just criminal. I feel sure that there was pressure from such entities to define the time period to "buck up or shut up." Or get some meds to fix you right up.

As my abnormal psych prof said about depression "there are times when you SHOULD feel sad, and shouldn't be medicated. Bereavement is one of them."


Then don't be medicated. There seem to be a lot of people in this thread talking like someone is shoving pills down their throat on the 15th day. If you don't feel you have a problem, don't go see a shrink. If you want therapy but don't want meds, then don't take them. If your doctor is pushing drugs on you that you don't want to take, perhaps it's time to find a new doctor.

Am I wrong in my understanding that some insurance won't cover meds/therapy if you don't have a diagnosable condition? Seems like this change could be helpful to folks who are debilitated by grief, whereas it will have no effect on anyone else. Guess I just don't see the problem.
 
2013-02-23 01:23:45 AM

Third Leg: Fano: J. Frank Parnell: LowbrowDeluxe: And if it is negatively impacting your ability to function in society, wouldn't that be something that needs fixing

No. I'm sure a lot of corporate efficiency experts get steamed about people taking time off work to grieve or for other emotional issues, but that's just how things are. At least until they drug us all into a zombie state and everything runs like clockwork.

That's a shame that is just criminal. I feel sure that there was pressure from such entities to define the time period to "buck up or shut up." Or get some meds to fix you right up.

As my abnormal psych prof said about depression "there are times when you SHOULD feel sad, and shouldn't be medicated. Bereavement is one of them."

Then don't be medicated. There seem to be a lot of people in this thread talking like someone is shoving pills down their throat on the 15th day. If you don't feel you have a problem, don't go see a shrink. If you want therapy but don't want meds, then don't take them. If your doctor is pushing drugs on you that you don't want to take, perhaps it's time to find a new doctor.

Am I wrong in my understanding that some insurance won't cover meds/therapy if you don't have a diagnosable condition? Seems like this change could be helpful to folks who are debilitated by grief, whereas it will have no effect on anyone else. Guess I just don't see the problem.


Well, that's true too. I was just finding a way to NOT be an asshole to Parnell.
 
2013-02-23 01:37:59 AM
I think the point of this revision is to allow people who are really messed up to get help earlier rather than later. I lost my dad and then 9 weeks later my father-in-law. Then a few months after that, my cat. All thanks to cancer (my dad had pancreatic cancer, specifically adenocarcinoma, and my FIL soft tissue sarcoma, and my cat also adenocarcinoma). Let me just say that that was the worst 18-20 months of my life. Severe depression (but no suicidal thoughts), terrible insomnia, the inability to focus or accomplish anything. It was a really good thing I'd just gotten laid off when all this shiat hit the fan. I didn't have to pull myself together for work. Unfortunately, I also moved across the country at the same time, so I lost my support network (aside from my SO; of course I just lost my FIL, too so....)

In short, it's not a big deal. It's designed to help people who really need help. I never went to a doctor because I knew it had to do with all the death, and disliking Seattle, and not being able to find a job (after a while). I'm much better now, but I still miss Dad, Tom, and my cat. I'm able to move on with my life, and I'm about to start school again. I never would have been able to do that (successfully) right when all that crap was going on, though. And imagine if your spouse died and you were suddenly a single parent. You'd practically NEED drugs to carry on raising your family!
 
2013-02-23 02:08:59 AM

Fano: Well, that's true too. I was just finding a way to NOT be an asshole to Parnell.


It's appreciated.

Third Leg: Then don't be medicated. There seem to be a lot of people in this thread talking like someone is shoving pills down their throat on the 15th day. If you don't feel you have a problem, don't go see a shrink. If you want therapy but don't want meds, then don't take them. If your doctor is pushing drugs on you that you don't want to take, perhaps it's time to find a new doctor.


But the people trust the doctor to give them proper guidance, and when the doctor says he recommends medication they accept it. You can also maybe blame patients for wanting an easy solution just as much as the doctors.

I know in some cases of alleged mental illness medication can literally be forced on people, and that's what i'm most worried about when i hear things like this.
 
2013-02-23 04:06:27 AM

KrispyKritter: He openly admitted to her he loved that dog more than his 3 children from his first marriage.


IN in this case, the man is clearly mentally ill.
 
2013-02-23 04:28:05 AM

BigJake: KrispyKritter: He openly admitted to her he loved that dog more than his 3 children from his first marriage.

IN in this case, the man is clearly mentally ill.


Depends on the kids, I would think.
 
2013-02-23 05:23:04 AM

Third Leg: Then don't be medicated. There seem to be a lot of people in this thread talking like someone is shoving pills down their throat on the 15th day. If you don't feel you have a problem, don't go see a shrink. If you want therapy but don't want meds, then don't take them. If your doctor is pushing drugs on you that you don't want to take, perhaps it's time to find a new doctor.


And twice in one thread, this.  Christ people.  'Nooo, my grief is miiiiine, I will wear it like a lovely wedding dress eevvvvery day'.  And you're the same morons making fun of emo kids.  If it's not a problem, then don't go to the doctor over it.  If it is, and you want to find ways to carry on your goddamn life, go.  Talk it out.  It doesn't lessen the goddamn death of whoever you lost, it doesn't change a goddamn thing, except maybe your ability to carry on functioning as a human being.  You can still be bereaved for fifty goddamn years for all I or anyone cares.  The sadness pretty much never goes away.  Being a wreck of a human being living on disability, unable to deal with interacting with others or even bathe yourself however, CAN go away.

As for the asshole upthread who tried to patronize me about grief, fark yourself in the ass with your own genitals, whichever gender you happen to be.  You don't know me, and fark you for being a patronizing cocksucker.  "Oooh, my grief is so poooiignant. omnomnomnom it is as deep and soulful as the smell of my own farts. omnomnomnom." fark yourself.
 
2013-02-23 06:07:32 AM
You know what I find really interesting in this thread?

I have a tendency to farky people different colors depending on whether they express liberal views or conservative views. This thread is full of blue-colored liberals discussing and sharing grief.

There are no red-colored conservatives in this thread (at least, none that I have previously farkied).

Why is that? I would think that grief and loss are universal concepts. Do they not want to share their grief or do they not want to admit they have any?
 
2013-02-23 06:23:10 AM

Ishkur: You know what I find really interesting in this thread?

I have a tendency to farky people different colors depending on whether they express liberal views or conservative views. This thread is full of blue-colored liberals discussing and sharing grief.

There are no red-colored conservatives in this thread (at least, none that I have previously farkied).

Why is that? I would think that grief and loss are universal concepts. Do they not want to share their grief or do they not want to admit they have any?


They're paid shills, most of them. Only post in Politics and gun threads.
 
2013-02-23 06:40:02 AM
This strikes me more as a justification to get meds to people who are in a really horrible place sooner, rather than waiting months for their problems to become "official". The reason for diagnosing illness is so it can be treated. People attach too much stigma to the concept of mental illness. If you want to be able to get treatment, medicinal or otherwise, to help you through your grief you should be able to.
 
2013-02-23 07:08:34 AM
My mother passed away and it took me about two years to be at peace. I guess I'm a basket case then, huh? In hindsight, there is no way I would want a pill to supress or cover up my emotions.
 
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