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(Nerve)   Your great-grandma's sex toy looked like a cake mixer   (nerve.com) divider line 87
    More: Weird, female sexuality  
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16246 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Feb 2013 at 7:39 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-22 02:28:52 PM  
My Mom had one of these.  I used the cup attachment on my elbows; it gave me funny feelings.

www.nerve.com
 
2013-02-22 03:28:44 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: My Mom had one of these.  I used the cup attachment on my elbows; it gave me funny feelings.

[www.nerve.com image 600x463]


My mom had one very similar to this...I used to use the bottom left attachment on my scalp, because the farking box SAID "for use on scalp." Now that I know this device's TRUE purpose, I am going to need a LOT of therapy.

And shampoo.

Damn you, internet...

www.nerve.com
 
2013-02-22 06:33:43 PM  
Oh, Jesus. My mom had one of these in the hall closet, too.

Shiat.
 
2013-02-22 06:36:26 PM  
Dammitsomuch! MeMaw's Dildo was my new stripper name.
 
2013-02-22 06:47:13 PM  
Yes, and her mother had her doctor use even bigger ones on her.  What's your point again?
 
2013-02-22 06:50:56 PM  
It feels good on my Bundt.
 
2013-02-22 07:24:12 PM  
Once while driving down the road, I saw something unusual on the side of the road that wasn't sure what it was, but I chose to pick it up for scrap when I noticed a power cord.  A resident at the house gave me strange look as I picked it up and tossed it into the truck.  Really old and look like an ottoman, however had the cord.  When I tore it apart I found two very strong vibrator motors inside.  It had two power settings and well you just sit and ride.  The upholstery went into the trash very quickly.

/I think it WAS the guy's grandmother's vibrator
//really old design, if it wasn't nasty, I might have considered selling it to an antiques store
 
2013-02-22 07:35:20 PM  
 
2013-02-22 07:35:36 PM  
farm9.staticflickr.com
 
2013-02-22 07:46:05 PM  
And for the overachieving grandma
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-22 07:47:16 PM  
   My great grandmas' sex toy looked like her great ice man..
 
2013-02-22 07:48:21 PM  
No, it looked like a Stephenson locomotive, and she liked it.

www.combat-diaries.co.uk
 
2013-02-22 07:48:22 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-02-22 07:49:48 PM  
There's a sex toy shop down the street from me that has a small "museum" of vibrators and such. There's something about plugging one end of a device into a wall and the other end into yourself that just seems... questionable.

If lightning happens to hit the power lines while you're using it, you'd better be comfortable with the looks you're going to get in ER.
 
2013-02-22 07:51:19 PM  
Huh my greatgramma's cake mixer looked like a sex toy.
 
2013-02-22 07:52:06 PM  

MrEricSir: There's a sex toy shop down the street from me that has a small "museum" of vibrators and such. There's something about plugging one end of a device into a wall and the other end into yourself that just seems... questionable.

If lightning happens to hit the power lines while you're using it, you'd better be comfortable with the looks you're going to get in ER.


"Well ... at least she died smiling."
 
2013-02-22 07:52:41 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-22 07:53:03 PM  

YouPeopleAreCrazy: And for the overachieving grandma
[24.media.tumblr.com image 850x637]


When one stuffing isn't enough.
 
2013-02-22 07:53:59 PM  

aspAddict: BarkingUnicorn: My Mom had one of these.  I used the cup attachment on my elbows; it gave me funny feelings.

[www.nerve.com image 600x463]

My mom had one very similar to this...I used to use the bottom left attachment on my scalp, because the farking box SAID "for use on scalp." Now that I know this device's TRUE purpose, I am going to need a LOT of therapy.

And shampoo.

Damn you, internet...

[www.nerve.com image 600x581]


What the phark is the name of the color of the plastic appliances in the 70's were made of? Sandstone? Light Ochre?
 
2013-02-22 07:54:03 PM  
Back in the day, I owned a couple of "facial massagers."  Snicker!
 
2013-02-22 07:54:26 PM  

MrEricSir: There's a sex toy shop down the street from me that has a small "museum" of vibrators and such. There's something about plugging one end of a device into a wall and the other end into yourself that just seems... questionable.

If lightning happens to hit the power lines while you're using it, you'd better be comfortable with the looks you're going to get in ER.



It's going to be ahh... ahh... ahh... ARRRRGGGHHHHYESYESYES.
 
2013-02-22 07:56:43 PM  
And did it also smell of elderberries?
 
2013-02-22 07:56:57 PM  

EnglishMajor: Back in the day, I owned a couple of "facial massagers."  Snicker!


Sure, but these days you can get your face slapped in a Thai massage parlor for $350.

Yes, really.
 
2013-02-22 07:57:10 PM  

albuquerquehalsey: aspAddict: BarkingUnicorn: My Mom had one of these.  I used the cup attachment on my elbows; it gave me funny feelings.

[www.nerve.com image 600x463]

My mom had one very similar to this...I used to use the bottom left attachment on my scalp, because the farking box SAID "for use on scalp." Now that I know this device's TRUE purpose, I am going to need a LOT of therapy.

And shampoo.

Damn you, internet...

[www.nerve.com image 600x581]

What the phark is the name of the color of the plastic appliances in the 70's were made of? Sandstone? Light Ochre?


Almond.
 
2013-02-22 07:57:52 PM  
For a history of the "therapeutic" vibrators used to treat "hysteria" check out Rachel Maines' The Technology of Orgasm: "Hysteria", the Vibrator and Women's Sexual Satisfaction.

For an entertaining fictionalized account of those early days watch Hysteria starring Maggie Glyenhall
 
2013-02-22 08:01:24 PM  
I think my great grandma's sex toy was the mailman.
 
2013-02-22 08:01:27 PM  
www.nerve.com

Geez, can't believe this thing is that old. Have this exact item, even sticker is worn ( and still works).  Got it in a yard sale and GREAT for bad back. Lay down on it, then position yourself where there is a disc out and stretch.. *POP*.. 90% of the time I can get my back to go back in place.
Doesn't seem to vibrate very much, though - wouldn't think women would get much of a rush out of it - of course back in the 60's with nothing else around... maybe they did.

/great, now I have this horrible image of some little old, ugly old, wrinkled old lady sexually abusing my back cracker.... screw u subby!!!
 
2013-02-22 08:02:56 PM  

gunther_bumpass: albuquerquehalsey: aspAddict: BarkingUnicorn: My Mom had one of these.  I used the cup attachment on my elbows; it gave me funny feelings.

[www.nerve.com image 600x463]

My mom had one very similar to this...I used to use the bottom left attachment on my scalp, because the farking box SAID "for use on scalp." Now that I know this device's TRUE purpose, I am going to need a LOT of therapy.

And shampoo.

Damn you, internet...

[www.nerve.com image 600x581]

What the phark is the name of the color of the plastic appliances in the 70's were made of? Sandstone? Light Ochre?

Almond.


Popular shades of appliances in the 1970s were bad avocado, carrot puke, poop brown, and jaundice beige.
 
2013-02-22 08:03:10 PM  
My mother had the one that is shaped like the real deal. Right down to the same color. I found it one day near the TV in their bedroom. Snuck in to watch Simpsons....

Scarred for life.

//eewwww
 
2013-02-22 08:08:15 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: My Mom had one of these.  I used the cup attachment on my elbows; it gave me funny feelings.

[www.nerve.com image 600x463]


Did you feel ashamed yet excited at the same time? That's how it starts (for me anyway).
Before you know it you'll be paying "escort girls" to poo on your chest while singing Abba
songs.
 
2013-02-22 08:08:45 PM  
According to my mother, her mother's sex toy WAS a mixer.
 
2013-02-22 08:08:57 PM  
So the massive dick shaped cake mixer in Mom's cabinet was not for mixing cake?
 
2013-02-22 08:13:26 PM  
Saw one of those once when my grandmother was babysitting me when I was about 7 years old.  I was playing dragon slayer in her cool medieval dungeon she had in the basement.  Not really sure why she had a cake mixer in there?  should have asked grandpa (or as we called him, the gimp), problem was he was busy trying to unzip his mask....

//ahhhh wait a minute!
// that explains the jungle vine rope swing....
 
2013-02-22 08:22:12 PM  

Arthur Two Sheds Jackson: Before you know it you'll be paying "escort girls" to poo on your chest while singing Abba songs.


That's disgusting! Abba is intolerable.
 
2013-02-22 08:23:32 PM  

gunther_bumpass: albuquerquehalsey: aspAddict: BarkingUnicorn: My Mom had one of these.  I used the cup attachment on my elbows; it gave me funny feelings.

[www.nerve.com image 600x463]

My mom had one very similar to this...I used to use the bottom left attachment on my scalp, because the farking box SAID "for use on scalp." Now that I know this device's TRUE purpose, I am going to need a LOT of therapy.

And shampoo.

Damn you, internet...

[www.nerve.com image 600x581]

What the phark is the name of the color of the plastic appliances in the 70's were made of? Sandstone? Light Ochre?

Almond.


AH, That's it, I totally knew that before I didn't know it.
 
2013-02-22 08:25:00 PM  
Oh. My. God. My grandmother had one of those.  My cousin and I used to play with it.
 
2013-02-22 08:25:25 PM  
As a kid my mom let me lick the beater after she baked a cake.....
 
2013-02-22 08:25:40 PM  

MrEricSir: There's something about plugging one end of a device into a wall and the other end into yourself that just seems... questionable.


Grounding and isolation transformers. How do they work?

/Oh apparently as well in dildos as in every other thing you plug into the wall.....
//Still... AC mains powered dongs seem a little much
///Haven't tried it though so won't knock
 
2013-02-22 08:27:28 PM  

Doktor_Zhivago: MrEricSir: There's something about plugging one end of a device into a wall and the other end into yourself that just seems... questionable.

Grounding and isolation transformers. How do they work?

/Oh apparently as well in dildos as in every other thing you plug into the wall.....
//Still... AC mains powered dongs seem a little much
///Haven't tried it though so won't knock


Strap in and  ride the lightning!
 
2013-02-22 08:35:17 PM  
Holy Christ.
It's like I just clicked through a list of rejected David Cronenberg props because they were too disgusting even for him.
 
2013-02-22 08:37:18 PM  

Doktor_Zhivago: MrEricSir: There's something about plugging one end of a device into a wall and the other end into yourself that just seems... questionable.

Grounding and isolation transformers. How do they work?

/Oh apparently as well in dildos as in every other thing you plug into the wall.....
//Still... AC mains powered dongs seem a little much
///Haven't tried it though so won't knock


Grounding? In antique electronics? Oh wait, you're serious. I'd laugh, but I'm too busy being electrocuted by a vibrator up my butt.
 
2013-02-22 08:43:05 PM  
Grandma, and PJ Soles.

www.hollywoodchicago.com
 
2013-02-22 08:47:05 PM  

fappomatic: According to my mother, her mother's sex toy WAS a mixer.


farking machines dot com.............cake mixer sex toy............all i'm going to say.
 
2013-02-22 08:51:29 PM  

slackananda: Arthur Two Sheds Jackson: Before you know it you'll be paying "escort girls" to poo on your chest while singing Abba songs.

That's disgusting! Abba is intolerable.


Yea but their music seems to relax the large colon...Which is nice.....
 
2013-02-22 08:53:08 PM  
www.nerve.com

My barber still uses one of these, best part of getting a haircut.
 
2013-02-22 08:55:48 PM  

nmemkha: MrEricSir: There's a sex toy shop down the street from me that has a small "museum" of vibrators and such. There's something about plugging one end of a device into a wall and the other end into yourself that just seems... questionable.

If lightning happens to hit the power lines while you're using it, you'd better be comfortable with the looks you're going to get in ER.

"Well ... at least she died smiling doing what she loved."


FTFY.
 
2013-02-22 08:58:00 PM  
And a good time was had by all.
 
2013-02-22 09:00:20 PM  

ReapTheChaos: [www.nerve.com image 600x400]

My barber still uses one of these, best part of getting a haircut.


Well lets hope his fingers didn't smell.
 
2013-02-22 09:00:37 PM  

MrEricSir: Doktor_Zhivago: MrEricSir: There's something about plugging one end of a device into a wall and the other end into yourself that just seems... questionable.

Grounding and isolation transformers. How do they work?

/Oh apparently as well in dildos as in every other thing you plug into the wall.....
//Still... AC mains powered dongs seem a little much
///Haven't tried it though so won't knock

Grounding? In antique electronics? Oh wait, you're serious. I'd laugh, but I'm too busy being electrocuted by a vibrator up my butt.


I was referring to modern stuff.  Didn't think about ye olde AC motyrs of olde.  Why didn't Thomas Edison put three prongs and a GFCI on his robo dongs? What a jackass.
 
2013-02-22 09:04:21 PM  

Doktor_Zhivago: MrEricSir: Doktor_Zhivago: MrEricSir: There's something about plugging one end of a device into a wall and the other end into yourself that just seems... questionable.

Grounding and isolation transformers. How do they work?

/Oh apparently as well in dildos as in every other thing you plug into the wall.....
//Still... AC mains powered dongs seem a little much
///Haven't tried it though so won't knock

Grounding? In antique electronics? Oh wait, you're serious. I'd laugh, but I'm too busy being electrocuted by a vibrator up my butt.

I was referring to modern stuff.  Didn't think about ye olde AC motyrs of olde.  Why didn't Thomas Edison put three prongs and a GFCI on his robo dongs? What a jackass.


Because he wanted to not only fark Tesla up the ass, but give him a shock as well.
 
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