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(The Atlantic Wire)   Today's conspiracy theory on why the pope is resigning: gay clergy sex parties and the plot of Godfather III   (theatlanticwire.com) divider line 28
    More: Obvious, sex parties, gay sex, pope, male prostitutes  
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4543 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Feb 2013 at 3:52 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2013-02-22 03:18:30 PM
4 votes:
I am not one for conspiracy theories, but I like this one.  The rich taste of hypocrisy with a mellow undertone of schadenfreude  makes for a lovely combination.
2013-02-22 05:01:13 PM
3 votes:
Eh, the church has been covering up shiat forever and has been corrupt for centuries.

My Dad's childhood parish had a priest that banged all the lonely housewives in the neighborhood and then ran off with a 16 year old girl he taught at the Catholic High School. They also had a nun and priest run off together.

You're can't tell people to not have sex AND not masturbate and have them come out normal.
2013-02-22 04:21:08 PM
3 votes:
CSB?
I was raised Catholic, I was an altar boy, and I was really into my Catholicism.  I also worked at my church a few nights per week while in HS stuffing bulletins, answering phones, and doing other secretarial stuff.  I lost the faith my senior year*, and only occasionally feel the tinge of Catholic guilt.

Our pastor was gay, into gay porn, and into trading gay porn.  It all came out when the diocese held some sort of internal investigation.  Visting priests would come around and swap gay porn.  I don't know what else they did.

Anyway the whole point of this is that when all this came out, I guess what was discovered (or at least speculated), was that the church actively recruited gay men into the clergy, because the celibacy that came with the cloth would prevent them from the abomination of homosexual acts.  I suppose this is all speculation but it makes sense to me.  The gay porn priest at my parish was in the Marine Core during Vietnam, and came back utterly confused.
/CSB

/no, he never touched me.  nice enough guy, but kind of an asshole to the "teen workers" when we didn't do some menial secretarial shiat right.
//once I was alter-serving for confirmation and the Bishop told me I had the calling.  Scary.

*I lost the faith completely and instantaneously.  It was the Sunday morning after the Saturday night that I lost my virginity.  I was sitting on the alter looking out into the congregation during the Homily as the (above) priest was going on about the abhorrence of abortion, euthanasia, the death penalty, and... contraception.  Having just committed the ultimate sin the night before, I was feeling pretty shiatty until I looked out into the congregation to observe everyone nodding in agreement with him and noticed each family had one, or maybe two children.  Never stopped having sex since.  Sex is awesome.
2013-02-22 05:07:24 PM
2 votes:
Rotten to the core.  The mere fact that Benedict was chosen to lead the church after masterminding over a decade of sex abuse cover-ups shows how morally bankrupt the priesthood has become.   http://www.hbo.com/documentaries/mea-maxima-culpa/synopsis.html prov ides a good summary of his role in protecting pedophile priests, all against the backdrop of an unfortunately typical case of defenseless kids being raped for decades while the church turned a puposefully blind eye.
2013-02-22 04:44:08 PM
2 votes:
Taking religion seriously = psychosis

Teaching religion to children = child abuse.


The end.
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-02-22 04:31:41 PM
2 votes:

Magorn: Okay first things first: I am Catholic, and i've been "wired in" to church poltics through various friends for a long time so let me just say this to this part of TFA:
The Vatican has a Velvet Mafia - and the Velvet Mafia is being blackmailed.The dossier alleges that a gay lobby exists within the Church, and has some sort of control on the careers of those in the Vatican.

OF COURSE there are a lot of Gay Priests, it's the lack of them recently that directly led to the pedophilia scandal.   Back before Stonewall, the celibacy of the priesthood offered a safe haven for those who found themselves horrified by their own sexuality, and a lot of "vocational callings" came from kids who were apalled to be sporting wood when changing witht he boys at thier all amle Catholic HS.  The church knew it and depnded on it to keep up the supply of priestly candiadtes , particularly in America where, as the Irish and Itallian immigrants moved into the solid middle class they stopped having such giant families and the tradition of "one for God" (ie having at least one child in every family take Holy orders) fell out of practice.


For hundreds of years the priesthood has been the place for Catholic parents to dump gay sons.  It's kind of the only place they had to go.  Of course there is a "velvet mafia" in the church.  It probably goes back centuries.
2013-02-22 04:10:13 PM
2 votes:
Fark probably skipped the most interesting aspect of the whole thing.

The last meeting the Pope had before announcing his 'retirement' was with the Knights of Malta. He skipped a funeral for a bishop he was supposed to attend at the last minute in order to attend the meeting.

/just puttin' that out there
2013-02-22 03:57:00 PM
2 votes:
The Pope himself being exposed as gay would be about as awesome a thing as I can conceive of.

Although not for the mental imagery....
2013-02-22 03:43:17 PM
2 votes:
So priests being gay with each other is considered worse than priests buggering altar boys?

Nice Church you have there, be a shame if something were to happen to it.
2013-02-22 09:14:19 PM
1 votes:

ruta: I'm confused. If there's a big secret gay faction controlling the church at the highest level, then why is the church so anti-gay?


I can only speculate but:

1. Because same-sex relationships don't generally lead to spawning more Catholics.

2. They're pandering to a socially-conservative rank-and-file.

3. There are plenty of historic examples where an aristocracy or political elite that publicly condemned homosexuality actually condoned it when practiced by their own.  The leadership of Hitler's SA is one example I can think of.  There are also a number of Republican politicians who have been caught with a "wide stance", to the point where it's a running gag on Fark and elsewhere.
2013-02-22 07:33:34 PM
1 votes:

ISO15693: j0e_average: Taking religion seriously = psychosis

Teaching religion to children = child abuse.

Millions of happy, well adjusted Mormons disagree with you.

Celibacy was never intended to be part of the priesthood.  That is one of the major screw-ups of 4th century Latin Rite Catholicism. The priesthood was intended to be part of every family.


Pope Adrian II (867-872) and his wife might have a bit of a problem with your dates.  Gregory VII mandated clerical celibacy in the eleventh century as part of a Church land and holdings grab.
2013-02-22 07:06:40 PM
1 votes:

shortymac: You're can't tell people to not have sex AND not masturbate and have them come out normal.


If they want priests to stop having sex they should allow them to get married. It works for everyone else.
2013-02-22 06:59:02 PM
1 votes:

thornhill: Eh, I think the most likely explanation is that he wants to be able to have some influence over his successors so he can insure that his policies will live on for many more years. Even Popes think about how to best preserve their legacy.


JPII spent years packing the college of Cardinals with hard-liners, of whom Ratzinger was Thug Number One. Even if there had been time to change the general approach of the group, Bennie wouldn't have wanted to do so.
2013-02-22 06:26:52 PM
1 votes:

The_Fuzz: I like that he has a pacemaker.  God designed him a bit faulty, and instead of following God's will and perhaps dying naturally, he gives him the finger and gets a mechanical device to keep him alive.  The hypocrisy in the church is endless.


He's Catholic, not a Christian Scientist...
2013-02-22 06:10:07 PM
1 votes:
The part about there being gay prostitutes running around the Vatican is true. It was discovered on Italian police wiretap years ago and reported in papers. I don't think this is why the Pope resigned.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/mar/04/vatican-gay-sex-scandal
2013-02-22 05:44:20 PM
1 votes:
Each time he tries to come out of the closet they keep pushing him back in.
2013-02-22 04:50:19 PM
1 votes:
There were two things I loved about The Godfather III - the papal subplot, because I think that's an interesting part of recent history, and the fact that Connie turned out to be the most vicious member of the Corleone family.
2013-02-22 04:43:07 PM
1 votes:

Nabb1: thornhill: Eh, I think the most likely explanation is that he wants to be able to have some influence over his successors so he can insure that his policies will live on for many more years. Even Popes think about how to best preserve their legacy.

But that explanation is no fun to speculate about.

And, ultimately, I hope untrue since I think the Church needs to go in a different direction, and even then, it probably wouldn't matter since the College of Cardinals is loaded with people he more or less hand picked.


Based on what I've heard, the only potential change that might happen is a non-European Pope decentralizing some of the control Rome has over the rest of the world, granting Churches in South America and Africa more autonomy.
2013-02-22 04:30:39 PM
1 votes:
Female and married clergy will definitely ruin the gay sex parties.
2013-02-22 04:28:27 PM
1 votes:

Magorn: the celibacy of the priesthood offered a safe haven for those who found themselves horrified by their own sexuality


I find it more likely it was used as cover for those who wanted to do evil deeds, like all the serial killers and such who enjoy the image of being Church going and god-fearing. Pure evil is more skilled at appearing good than actual good people.

But to tie in my previous comment with all this sexual stuff, Jimmy Saville was a Knight of Malta, and perhaps with him being exposed as a pedophile the investigation led back to the Vatican, and this 'Velvet Mafia' is in fact the Knights of Malta.

/sometimes i hope i'm wrong because i don't want them to send people after me
2013-02-22 04:15:46 PM
1 votes:
Okay first things first: I am Catholic, and i've been "wired in" to church poltics through various friends for a long time so let me just say this to this part of TFA:
The Vatican has a Velvet Mafia - and the Velvet Mafia is being blackmailed.The dossier alleges that a gay lobby exists within the Church, and has some sort of control on the careers of those in the Vatican.

OF COURSE there are a lot of Gay Priests, it's the lack of them recently that directly led to the pedophilia scandal.   Back before Stonewall, the celibacy of the priesthood offered a safe haven for those who found themselves horrified by their own sexuality, and a lot of "vocational callings" came from kids who were apalled to be sporting wood when changing witht he boys at thier all amle Catholic HS.  The church knew it and depnded on it to keep up the supply of priestly candiadtes , particularly in America where, as the Irish and Itallian immigrants moved into the solid middle class they stopped having such giant families and the tradition of "one for God" (ie having at least one child in every family take Holy orders) fell out of practice.

The whole mess the church is in right now is that since the 70's vocation have dried to a trickle in the US-where most parishes had three regular priests and a pastor back in the day, the current priestly shortage means that many of those churches now maybe get one full-time priest, and he's just as likely to be from Africa or Asia as to have grown up in the neighborhood these days.  Just like the US army during the gulf war, as recruitment dropped off the cliff, so did standards for enlistees.  Many of those pedophile priests would have been  washed out thanks to the rigorous psych screening the Church does on seminarians.  Now however, a lot of the sail right through.  It's not totally clear to me whether they just stopped screening, or if they KNOW but figure since the guy is taking a VOW of celibacy that he'll be fine no matter how twisted he is (and because otherwise they might have years where they make exactly zero new priests).  Either way, the church knew this was coming for a long time, and the effort at the top to blame this on the gays is not only sickening, but wildly disingenous
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-02-22 04:13:34 PM
1 votes:
This is the most only plausible one I have heard so far.  Considering the Vatican rent boy scandal from a while back, it is possible.
2013-02-22 04:10:33 PM
1 votes:
Eh, I think the most likely explanation is that he wants to be able to have some influence over his successors so he can insure that his policies will live on for many more years. Even Popes think about how to best preserve their legacy.
2013-02-22 04:03:22 PM
1 votes:
Someone brought lemons to the party.
2013-02-22 04:02:08 PM
1 votes:

Therion: So priests being gay with each other is considered worse than priests buggering altar boys?


That's the message they're trying to push. They want people, or stupid people, to believe homosexuality automatically means pedophila. They're hoping more hatred, controversy and violence will go towards GLBT people as a diversion from the truth.

That way they can have their fun without outside interference.
2013-02-22 04:01:50 PM
1 votes:
It's 2013 and people still care about homosexuality enough for the media to focus on it... People, I am disappoint.

/if you want good conspiracies, follow the money, not the abuse
2013-02-22 03:59:03 PM
1 votes:
They said that Pope John Paul I was killed off due to him proposing radical changes to the Vatican, as in selling off the assets the Vatican owned.  A group called P2 poisoned him, then killed off Roberto Calvi by faking his suicide.
2013-02-22 03:36:03 PM
1 votes:
My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Pope Benedict pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.
 
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