If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(USA Today)   Magistrate grants Pistorius bail, no decision on where to put the ankle monitor   (usatoday.com) divider line 204
    More: News, Oscar Pistorius, ankle monitor, police inspector, grants, real evidence  
•       •       •

4363 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Feb 2013 at 11:59 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



204 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-02-22 09:45:17 AM
graphics8.nytimes.com

Problem solved.
 
2013-02-22 09:46:15 AM
Subby?

You magnificent bastard!
 
2013-02-22 09:46:45 AM
Now THAT'S a good headline.
 
2013-02-22 09:51:36 AM
Pistorius' case took a dramatic turn Thursday as police announced that lead investigator Hilton Botha has been replaced. Botha, who testified earlier in the week, faces attempted murder charges from a 2011 case. The charges stem from an incident in which Botha and two other police officers allegedly shot at a minibus they were trying to stop.

Ohh christ, this is going to get messy.

/+1 subby!
 
2013-02-22 09:51:58 AM
This headline stumps all other attempts at humor.
 
2013-02-22 09:54:49 AM
Well played subby!
 
2013-02-22 09:59:38 AM

Oh, and to answer the question, you put the monitor in the only place you CAN put it:

www.smashinglists.com
 
2013-02-22 10:06:44 AM

scottydoesntknow: Pistorius' case took a dramatic turn Thursday as police announced that lead investigator Hilton Botha has been replaced. Botha, who testified earlier in the week, faces attempted murder charges from a 2011 case. The charges stem from an incident in which Botha and two other police officers allegedly shot at a minibus they were trying to stop.

Ohh christ, this is going to get messy.

/+1 subby!


Once that came out, it was pretty much guaranteed in my book that this whole thing was done.  Dragging up a murder charge from two years ago suddenly once the detective broke on the stand?  This is pretty heavy handed, but obvious.
 
2013-02-22 10:13:22 AM
+1 subby. Brilliant.
 
2013-02-22 10:14:15 AM

Vodka Zombie: Oh, and to answer the question, you put the monitor in the only place you CAN put it:

[www.smashinglists.com image 520x295]


Well played sir! And +1 internets for  subby'sheadline.
 
2013-02-22 10:14:37 AM

Shades McGillicutty: +1 subby. Brilliant.


*bows*
 
2013-02-22 10:17:23 AM
BRAVO!
 
2013-02-22 10:38:24 AM
LOL nice
 
2013-02-22 10:58:54 AM
He shouldn't be getting out based on the evidence, but it now gives us an opportunity for another OJ, so I'll allow it.
 
2013-02-22 11:18:47 AM
farking GOLD

Headlines this year have been weird. Either they are the greatest headlines in Fark history or they straight up suck. There is no inbetween
 
2013-02-22 12:01:40 PM
That headline is full of win!
 
2013-02-22 12:02:02 PM
Just dropping by to "subby, you magnificent bastard"

audienceclapping.jpg
 
2013-02-22 12:02:10 PM
+1 subby. Definitely HOTW material.
 
2013-02-22 12:02:35 PM
put the monitor around his neck so everyone can see it all the time. and make it extra tight so he'll think about what he's done everytime he eats or takes a drink that she will never have again.
 
2013-02-22 12:02:59 PM
Really? Seemed obvious. Oh well...
 
2013-02-22 12:03:04 PM

Popcorn Johnny: He shouldn't be getting out based on the evidence, but it now gives us an opportunity for another OJ, so I'll allow it.


He went and murdered the only witness!
 
2013-02-22 12:04:19 PM
Fantastic headline Subs...
 
2013-02-22 12:04:24 PM
There's a chance he might flee, but as long as they keep his legs he will be easy to catch.
 
2013-02-22 12:04:44 PM
Nicely done.
 
2013-02-22 12:06:17 PM
On his penis.
 
2013-02-22 12:06:30 PM
Well done subby.

There's also this on espn.com:

Judge: Pistorius not a flight risk, grants bail
 
2013-02-22 12:06:37 PM
Not to rain on the parade, but here is the top 'funny' comment from the last Pistorious thread:


Tanukis_Parachute 2013-02-20 12:40:16 PM

18 votes:

i think he should get bail...as long as they can put an ankle monitor on him.
 
2013-02-22 12:08:41 PM
When the case goes to trial, a judge will decide Pistorius' fate. There are no jury trials in criminal cases in South Africa

Hmm, learned something new.
 
2013-02-22 12:09:02 PM
So, is this the part where he uses his several offshore accounts to go on the lam, or the part where he relies on the chief investigator's involvement in a previous homicide to be acquitted?
 
2013-02-22 12:09:10 PM
To jump on the bandwagon (with both legs thankfully)... very nicely played, Subby.

/Still sad for Pistorius, his hot and dead ex, and all of South Africa. Nothing good will come out of this except perhaps a demented form of justice.
 
2013-02-22 12:10:08 PM
Dammit.  Some magnificent bastard just had to throw another HOTY candidate on the pile.

*shakes tiny fist*

+1
 
2013-02-22 12:10:59 PM

Vodka Zombie: Oh, and to answer the question, you put the monitor in the only place you CAN put it:

[www.smashinglists.com image 520x295]


*golf clap*
 
2013-02-22 12:11:11 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: Not to rain on the parade, but here is the top 'funny' comment from the last Pistorious thread:


Tanukis_Parachute 2013-02-20 12:40:16 PM

18 votes:

i think he should get bail...as long as they can put an ankle monitor on him.


Seemed obvious. Now seems repetitive.
 
2013-02-22 12:11:57 PM
Can't he just add flippers and swim away?
 
2013-02-22 12:12:10 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: Not to rain on the parade, but here is the top 'funny' comment from the last Pistorious thread:


Tanukis_Parachute 2013-02-20 12:40:16 PM

18 votes:

i think he should get bail...as long as they can put an ankle monitor on him.


encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com

Has no idea what you are talking about.
 
2013-02-22 12:12:54 PM

GAT_00: scottydoesntknow: Pistorius' case took a dramatic turn Thursday as police announced that lead investigator Hilton Botha has been replaced. Botha, who testified earlier in the week, faces attempted murder charges from a 2011 case. The charges stem from an incident in which Botha and two other police officers allegedly shot at a minibus they were trying to stop.

Ohh christ, this is going to get messy.

/+1 subby!

Once that came out, it was pretty much guaranteed in my book that this whole thing was done.  Dragging up a murder charge from two years ago suddenly once the detective broke on the stand?  This is pretty heavy handed, but obvious.


Agreed...  At first I didn't think Pistorius' defense had a leg to stand on, but now I could see them making a real run at getting him off.  I am stumped how the police could make such a basic oversight.
 
2013-02-22 12:13:07 PM
Is it wrong to expect a slow legless chase through the streets similar to OJ's?
 
2013-02-22 12:13:42 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: Not to rain on the parade, but here is the top 'funny' comment from the last Pistorious thread:

Tanukis_Parachute 2013-02-20 12:40:16 PM

18 votes:

i think he should get bail...as long as they can put an ankle monitor on him.


Great minds and all that. Kudos to them too!
 
2013-02-22 12:16:48 PM
So wait, does this mean he DIDN'T do it?
 
2013-02-22 12:19:58 PM

Doubleodoug: So wait, does this mean he DIDN'T do it?


If the shoe doesn't fit, you MUST acquit!
 
2013-02-22 12:20:17 PM
Now that he's been sprung, with the right software, and obviously hardware, he can still jump bail.
 
2013-02-22 12:20:34 PM
I'm pretty sure subby lifted this headline from a joke made in a previous thread about pistorious
 
2013-02-22 12:21:26 PM
I have never seen a bail hearing take so long. Why did it take days and not just a few hours and why did the judge/magistrate or whatever he is drone on so long giving his decision? A simple "bail granted" would have been sufficient.
 
2013-02-22 12:21:59 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: Not to rain on the parade, but here is the top 'funny' comment from the last Pistorious thread:


Tanukis_Parachute 2013-02-20 12:40:16 PM

18 votes:

i think he should get bail...as long as they can put an ankle monitor on him.


looks around sheepishly....backs out of room...still with zero links submitted approved.
 
2013-02-22 12:22:05 PM

Sybarite: When the case goes to trial, a judge will decide Pistorius' fate. There are no jury trials in criminal cases in South Africa

Hmm, learned something new.


Dude, most of the world has a different justice system. In fact, if your country doesn't have a trial by jury system, you'd find a system with a jury utterly ridiculous.

On the other hand, I always get a laugh if some stupid reporter says "Didn't get a trial by jury just like in Nazi-Germany" Or, you know, modern day Germany.
 
2013-02-22 12:22:48 PM
THIS is your HOTY folks.  Game over!  Short of the Vatican electing Anakin Skywalker as Pope, nothing can top this.
 
2013-02-22 12:23:08 PM
*Golf Clap*
 
2013-02-22 12:23:50 PM
So.... exactly what does the detective facing attempted murder charges of his own have anything to do with this case?
 
2013-02-22 12:25:25 PM

ukexpat: I have never seen a bail hearing take so long. Why did it take days and not just a few hours and why did the judge/magistrate or whatever he is drone on so long giving his decision? A simple "bail granted" would have been sufficient.


You're mistaking South Africa for the United States.
 
2013-02-22 12:26:13 PM
www.selmahonda.com
 
2013-02-22 12:26:25 PM
I freely admit I haven't been following this story closely as I don't really care one way or the other, but...

Doesn't it seem odd that a person would just fire off multiple rounds through a bathroom door without you know, checking to see if it was just his girlfriend taking a late night dump? Especially if one lives in a gated community?

Did his girlfriend not sleep in the same bed as him?

Again, I may be missing something vital to the story here, but his version of events seems a bit suspect to me. *shrug*
 
2013-02-22 12:27:43 PM
He may have gotten bail, but the defense doesn't have a leg to stand on.
 
2013-02-22 12:27:45 PM

keylock71: ...to see if it was just his girlfriend taking a late night dump?


Go on.
 
2013-02-22 12:27:58 PM
I know where I would put this headline: straight into the HOTY pile
nice job, subby
 
2013-02-22 12:28:37 PM
Subby gives great head...line :)
 
2013-02-22 12:28:40 PM
Waiting for the next headline "Olympian with no legs jumps bail, still gets docked by Romanian judge."
 
2013-02-22 12:30:26 PM
I bet he runs to south america.
 
2013-02-22 12:30:52 PM

NightOwl2255: keylock71: ...to see if it was just his girlfriend taking a late night dump?

Go on.


siyanor.com
 
2013-02-22 12:31:15 PM
His statement in court said that he wasn't wearing his prosthetics when he went to check on the noise he heard. The bullet holes in the door where at a height of 5 feet. Not that his story made any sense in the first place, but this seals the deal.
 
2013-02-22 12:31:20 PM
I'm glad I'm not in his shoes.
 
2013-02-22 12:32:31 PM

Badmonkey82009: GAT_00: scottydoesntknow: Pistorius' case took a dramatic turn Thursday as police announced that lead investigator Hilton Botha has been replaced. Botha, who testified earlier in the week, faces attempted murder charges from a 2011 case. The charges stem from an incident in which Botha and two other police officers allegedly shot at a minibus they were trying to stop.

Ohh christ, this is going to get messy.

/+1 subby!

Once that came out, it was pretty much guaranteed in my book that this whole thing was done.  Dragging up a murder charge from two years ago suddenly once the detective broke on the stand?  This is pretty heavy handed, but obvious.

Agreed...  At first I didn't think Pistorius' defense had a leg to stand on, but now I could see them making a real run at getting him off.  I am stumped how the police could make such a basic oversight.



...something about jumping to conclusions. Meh, got nothin'.
 
2013-02-22 12:32:39 PM
It should be even more illegal to kill hot chicks.
 
2013-02-22 12:33:14 PM
You've failed me Google Image Search!

digitaljournal.com
 
2013-02-22 12:36:00 PM

cman: farking GOLD

Headlines this year have been weird. Either they are the greatest headlines in Fark history or they straight up suck. There is no inbetween


I haven't submitted any - I submit VERY mediocre headlines.

treesloth: It should be even more illegal to kill hot chicks.


Should be based on a hotornot style rating system as a multiplier for the number of years you get.
 
2013-02-22 12:36:16 PM
The judge also spelled out his concerns around the plausibility of the defense. One could say the judge did not feel Oscar had a leg to stand on
 
2013-02-22 12:36:55 PM

keylock71: I freely admit I haven't been following this story closely as I don't really care one way or the other, but...

Doesn't it seem odd that a person would just fire off multiple rounds through a bathroom door without you know, checking to see if it was just his girlfriend taking a late night dump? Especially if one lives in a gated community?

Did his girlfriend not sleep in the same bed as him?

Again, I may be missing something vital to the story here, but his version of events seems a bit suspect to me. *shrug*


The magistrate pointed that out during his 90-minute bail soliloquy, too.  Pistorius hears someone in the bathroom, grabs his gun, goes to the bathroom door, and fires.  Doesn't put on his prosthetics, doesn't check to see if his girlfriend is in bed next to him, doesn't call out to see if it's her in the bathroom--just fires.  I don't care how groggy you are in the middle of the night, your first instincts aren't to fire blindly at a locked bathroom door.
 
2013-02-22 12:38:21 PM

Popcorn Johnny: His statement in court said that he wasn't wearing his prosthetics when he went to check on the noise he heard. The bullet holes in the door where at a height of 5 feet. Not that his story made any sense in the first place, but this seals the deal.


I know that when I hear a noise, I reach across the bed, over where my wife would be, not bothering to ask if she heard it (not that she'd respond, she's the one making the noise, but still), pull out a gun, don't bother putting my glasses on (well, it's the only handicap I have), and fire a bunch of shots into the bathroom door.

Then I break down the door and say "oh sh*t, what happened?"
 
2013-02-22 12:38:33 PM

walrusonion: I bet he runs to south america.


i.huffpost.com
 
2013-02-22 12:38:59 PM
Subby gets a +1. Take your bow...

<goes to clean coffee out of nose>
 
2013-02-22 12:39:23 PM
'...not a flight risk.'

That's just cold.
 
2013-02-22 12:41:03 PM
I know the whole world is waiting for him to walk around the court room on his stumps carrying a machine gun for an re-enactment.

Don't you farking lie!
 
2013-02-22 12:42:30 PM
BTW, re: the defense claiming "well, crime is really high, so this is a totally logical sequence of events."

Um yeah, if this story passes muster, I think I can see why crime is so high. You don't even have to make up a plausible alibi!

"Yeah I shot my neighbor but I thought he was going to attack me!"
"You shot a 9-year-old kid 18 times."
"DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE CRIME RATES ARE HERE? I HEARD SOMEONE RING THE DOORBELL AND HAD TO PROTECT MYSELF!"
 
2013-02-22 12:42:37 PM
Olympic Gold Subby
 
2013-02-22 12:42:47 PM
How far could he get, really?
 
2013-02-22 12:43:05 PM

keylock71: I freely admit I haven't been following this story closely as I don't really care one way or the other, but...

Doesn't it seem odd that a person would just fire off multiple rounds through a bathroom door without you know, checking to see if it was just his girlfriend taking a late night dump? Especially if one lives in a gated community?

Did his girlfriend not sleep in the same bed as him?

Again, I may be missing something vital to the story here, but his version of events seems a bit suspect to me. *shrug*


The thing is a lot of activities people engage in seem 'odd' to me.   Shooting a woman because you thought she was a deer(she was wearing a brown jacket and white mittens) seems very unlikely, but someone did it.  I mean, it's either a deer or it isn't right?

Leaving your kid for hours in a boiling hot car? You're the one who put the kid in that car!  Those 'accidents' happen just about every summer though.

Personally, I think this guy is guilty of being up to no good, but at this point I see no evidence of a murder.  Negligent homicide?  Yup, but murder?  Nope.  It's still early in the case though, that could change.
 
2013-02-22 12:43:45 PM

Popcorn Johnny: His statement in court said that he wasn't wearing his prosthetics when he went to check on the noise he heard. The bullet holes in the door where at a height of 5 feet. Not that his story made any sense in the first place, but this seals the deal.


They missed a bullet left in the bathroom, didn't bother with shoe-coverings to prevent contamination of the crime scene, and "lost" the unused ammunition collected from the bedroom.

What other mistakes did they make? How accurate is the rest of their report?
 
2013-02-22 12:45:48 PM
Inspector Gadget is no murderer
 
2013-02-22 12:45:52 PM

brigid_fitch: The magistrate pointed that out during his 90-minute bail soliloquy, too. Pistorius hears someone in the bathroom, grabs his gun, goes to the bathroom door, and fires. Doesn't put on his prosthetics, doesn't check to see if his girlfriend is in bed next to him, doesn't call out to see if it's her in the bathroom--just fires. I don't care how groggy you are in the middle of the night, your first instincts aren't to fire blindly at a locked bathroom door.


Yeah, it just seems weird, right?

I live in an area with a lot of break-ins, too. If I hear a noise in the middle of the night and notice my wife isn't in bed with me, I'll most likely go back to sleep assuming it's my wife using the toilet or getting a glass of water. Maybe I'll get up and have a look around if it was a particularly loud noise...

The last thing I'm probably going to do is grab my shot gun and blindly fire into doors in my house.
 
2013-02-22 12:45:57 PM
SUB-BY!  SUB-BY!  SUB-BY!

dejareviewer.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-02-22 12:48:23 PM

cookiefleck: I'm pretty sure subby lifted this headline from a joke made in a previous thread about pistorious


Awww. Swear on superman's bible, it just popped into my head when I saw a cartoon this morning with a ball & chain around his blades in an empty cell and I thought, Worst Ankle Monitor Ever.
 
2013-02-22 12:48:56 PM

Birnone: The thing is a lot of activities people engage in seem 'odd' to me. Shooting a woman because you thought she was a deer(she was wearing a brown jacket and white mittens) seems very unlikely, but someone did it. I mean, it's either a deer or it isn't right?

Leaving your kid for hours in a boiling hot car? You're the one who put the kid in that car! Those 'accidents' happen just about every summer though.

Personally, I think this guy is guilty of being up to no good, but at this point I see no evidence of a murder. Negligent homicide? Yup, but murder? Nope. It's still early in the case though, that could change.


I hear you, I'm old enough to be well-aware of peoples' propensity for stupidity, but damn... firing blindly into a door in your own home because you heard a noise? ...Without at least a, "Babe, is that you in there? That's a high level of stupidity right there.
 
2013-02-22 12:51:49 PM

oldfarthenry: Is it wrong to expect a slow legless chase through the streets similar to OJ's?



i40.tinypic.com

Rubbish! I've hardly touched a drop.
 
2013-02-22 12:52:13 PM

IAmRight: BTW, re: the defense claiming "well, crime is really high, so this is a totally logical sequence of events."

Um yeah, if this story passes muster, I think I can see why crime is so high. You don't even have to make up a plausible alibi!

"Yeah I shot my neighbor but I thought he was going to attack me!"
"You shot a 9-year-old kid 18 times."
"DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE CRIME RATES ARE HERE? I HEARD SOMEONE RING THE DOORBELL AND HAD TO PROTECT MYSELF!"


Yeah, it's total bullshiat.

The fact is this: he fired a machine gun into a bathroom - it's attempted murder, for one, regardless of who was in the bathroom. I'm pretty sure firing a machine gun into a closed area was not a warning tactic.

That he killed someone with his actions means he should get charged for murder or manslaughter charges. He should not get away for this because it was 'an accident'. Machine gun, ffs!

And who knows, burglar or not, he could have killed kids with his actions. Burglar kids, but kids all the same.

I hope this coont goes to jail. But I doubt he will. Yes, he will walk....an unnatural walk.
 
2013-02-22 12:53:32 PM
What about a cock-ring monitor?
 
2013-02-22 12:53:44 PM

Vodka Zombie: Oh, and to answer the question, you put the monitor in the only place you CAN put it:


But later it might wind up tracking the location of his boyfriend instead.
 
2013-02-22 12:54:37 PM
Put it on his shooting hand, like a tight wrist brace. Or around his neck.
 
2013-02-22 12:56:24 PM
texyt.com

This bear also has no legs, but I think we can find a solution.
 
2013-02-22 12:56:36 PM
TFA: The charges stem from an incident in which Botha and two other police officers allegedly shot at a minibus they were trying to stop.

Why can't we get attempted murder charges for the jackasses who shot up a Tacoma in Torrance, hitting two innocent people?  American justice at work.

As for the case at hand, he never would've gotten bail if he weren't famous.
 
2013-02-22 12:56:46 PM
+1 subby on the headline. I woke my wife up laughing. You owe me one couch to sleep on.
 
2013-02-22 12:56:48 PM
It would appear that the court is stumped as to where to put the monitoring device.  How about around his balls (can I say that?), they're apparently the size of car tires based on his account of the events.  And who the heck locks the bathroom door in their own home when they use it?
 
2013-02-22 12:58:20 PM
i spend an awful lot of time on a news site to still have no idea what this story is about at all.
 
2013-02-22 12:59:34 PM
"Headline of the Year", and it's only February! :-)
 
2013-02-22 01:00:03 PM

Hyperbolic Hyperbole: i spend an awful lot of time on a news site to still have no idea what this story is about at all.


You're doing it right.
 
2013-02-22 01:02:19 PM
Roses are REd
Violets are glorious
Never try to surprise
Oscar Pastorius
 
2013-02-22 01:02:20 PM

TheOther: '...not a flight risk.'

That's just cold.


Could have said, "he's not going to jump bail or anything else for that matter".
 
2013-02-22 01:04:25 PM

Langdon Alger: put the monitor around his neck so everyone can see it all the time. and make it extra tight so he'll think about what he's done everytime he eats or takes a drink that she will never have again.


Silus?

/nothing is obscure on FARK
 
2013-02-22 01:06:35 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-22 01:07:04 PM

Captain Steroid: "Headline of the Year", and it's only February! :-)


The headline gave me a laugh, sure, but epically funny to be the best of the year?  Not really.  Headlines of the year need to have that sense of epicness, like "Gas blowing out exit brings 69 to complete halt".
 
2013-02-22 01:08:29 PM

farm machine: It would appear that the court is stumped as to where to put the monitoring device.  How about around his balls (can I say that?), they're apparently the size of car tires based on his account of the events.  And who the heck locks the bathroom door in their own home when they use it?


Apparently you don't live with any women.
 
2013-02-22 01:09:05 PM

Hyperbolic Hyperbole: i spend an awful lot of time on a news site to still have no idea what this story is about at all.


Well then, stop reading Fox News!
 
2013-02-22 01:10:18 PM
You can tell he has street cred because he walks with a limp
 
2013-02-22 01:10:19 PM

ukexpat: I have never seen a bail hearing take so long. Why did it take days and not just a few hours and why did the judge/magistrate or whatever he is drone on so long giving his decision? A simple "bail granted" would have been sufficient.


You don't usually grant bail for people with a reputation for being a runner.
 
2013-02-22 01:11:06 PM

Popcorn Johnny: His statement in court said that he wasn't wearing his prosthetics when he went to check on the noise he heard. The bullet holes in the door where at a height of 5 feet. Not that his story made any sense in the first place, but this seals the deal.


He wasn't particularly close to the door that he was shooting through. You might be able to tell something from the angle that the bullets went through, but not from the 5 ft. height itself.
 
2013-02-22 01:11:14 PM

spammeister: Hyperbolic Hyperbole: i spend an awful lot of time on a news site to still have no idea what this story is about at all.

Well then, stop reading Fox News!


my browser wouldnt even open up Fox News today
 
2013-02-22 01:14:20 PM

Vodka Zombie: Subby?

You magnificent bastard!

 
2013-02-22 01:18:00 PM

GungFu: IAmRight: BTW, re: the defense claiming "well, crime is really high, so this is a totally logical sequence of events."

Um yeah, if this story passes muster, I think I can see why crime is so high. You don't even have to make up a plausible alibi!

"Yeah I shot my neighbor but I thought he was going to attack me!"
"You shot a 9-year-old kid 18 times."
"DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE CRIME RATES ARE HERE? I HEARD SOMEONE RING THE DOORBELL AND HAD TO PROTECT MYSELF!"

Yeah, it's total bullshiat.

The fact is this: he fired a machine gun into a bathroom - it's attempted murder, for one, regardless of who was in the bathroom. I'm pretty sure firing a machine gun into a closed area was not a warning tactic.

That he killed someone with his actions means he should get charged for murder or manslaughter charges. He should not get away for this because it was 'an accident'. Machine gun, ffs!

And who knows, burglar or not, he could have killed kids with his actions. Burglar kids, but kids all the same.

I hope this coont goes to jail. But I doubt he will. Yes, he will walk....an unnatural walk.


He'll most likely get hit with manslaughter charges, but this is South Africa so I'm not familiar with how their laws look upon unintended consequences.  That is if he can prove the consequences of his actions weren't intentional.  However, firing blindly into a door the person doing the firing generally has an idea of what will happen on the other side of the door.  This is a weird one though.
 
2013-02-22 01:19:11 PM

big_hed: farm machine: It would appear that the court is stumped as to where to put the monitoring device.  How about around his balls (can I say that?), they're apparently the size of car tires based on his account of the events.  And who the heck locks the bathroom door in their own home when they use it?

Apparently you don't live with any women.



huh?  Being female, having three sisters, lots of female roomates during college, first apartment etc, being married twice, I nor any female I have ever shared domicile with has ever locked the bathroom door for normal use.  Screaming brat "leave me alone I hate you all" tantrums, yes.  Going to pee, never.
 
2013-02-22 01:19:36 PM
Subby, you magnificent bastard.
 
2013-02-22 01:21:40 PM

fatalvenom: TheOther: '...not a flight risk.'

That's just cold.

Could have said, "he's not going to jump bail or anything else for that matter".


he's a farking Olympic farking sprinter.
Your average donut addict isn't going to catch him.
 
2013-02-22 01:27:14 PM
Hey, subs,

www.troll.me
 
2013-02-22 01:28:14 PM
Jeezus...this headline has a whole lot of this going on:

wfiles.brothersoft.com

or this:

02varvara.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-02-22 01:31:28 PM
i860.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-22 01:34:03 PM

scottydoesntknow: Pistorius' case took a dramatic turn Thursday as police announced that lead investigator Hilton Botha has been replaced. Botha, who testified earlier in the week, faces attempted murder charges from a 2011 case. The charges stem from an incident in which Botha and two other police officers allegedly shot at a minibus they were trying to stop.

Ohh christ, this is going to get messy.

/+1 subby!


Many Bothas died to bring us this information!
 
2013-02-22 01:37:12 PM
His defense is weak. He doesn't have a leg to stand on.
 
2013-02-22 01:37:58 PM

Skyrmion: Popcorn Johnny: His statement in court said that he wasn't wearing his prosthetics when he went to check on the noise he heard. The bullet holes in the door where at a height of 5 feet. Not that his story made any sense in the first place, but this seals the deal.

He wasn't particularly close to the door that he was shooting through. You might be able to tell something from the angle that the bullets went through, but not from the 5 ft. height itself.


There was a magistrate interviewed a few days back and he said it does not matter if he "felt" threatened. Under SA law firing blindly into a door constitutes murder.
 
2013-02-22 01:38:04 PM

keylock71: I freely admit I haven't been following this story closely as I don't really care one way or the other, but...

Doesn't it seem odd that a person would just fire off multiple rounds through a bathroom door without you know, checking to see if it was just his girlfriend taking a late night dump? Especially if one lives in a gated community?

Did his girlfriend not sleep in the same bed as him?

Again, I may be missing something vital to the story here, but his version of events seems a bit suspect to me. *shrug*


He mistook her for a washing machine.
 
2013-02-22 01:40:26 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-22 01:42:36 PM

GungFu: The fact is this: he fired a machine gun into a bathroom - it's attempted murder, for one, regardless of who was in the bathroom. I'm pretty sure firing a machine gun into a closed area was not a warning tactic.

That he killed someone with his actions means he should get charged for murder or manslaughter charges. He should not get away for this because it was 'an accident'. Machine gun, ffs!


And you're getting this info where? I can find no info that a machine gun was used as opposed to the 9 mm.
 
2013-02-22 01:45:11 PM
Wow, a lot of subby dick sucking in this thread for a headline that was lifted VERBATIM from the earlier thread.
 
2013-02-22 01:46:05 PM
+1 stubby
 
2013-02-22 01:48:33 PM

birchman: On his penis.


If you think that would work, you need to see a doctor, pronto!

Very nice headline, although if stolen please apply my admiration to the original subby.
 
2013-02-22 01:50:57 PM
www.analogdistortion.com
 
2013-02-22 01:51:04 PM

Popcorn Johnny: His statement in court said that he wasn't wearing his prosthetics when he went to check on the noise he heard. The bullet holes in the door where at a height of 5 feet. Not that his story made any sense in the first place, but this seals the deal.


So he couldn't have been aiming slightly upward?

Or downward from a top bunk?
 
2013-02-22 01:54:24 PM

YouPeopleAreCrazy: And you're getting this info where? I can find no info that a machine gun was used as opposed to the 9 mm.


Oh, you assumed that GungFu was referring to a fully-automatic firearm.  No, no, not at all.  It was simply a reference to the fact that a gun is a mechanical device;  that is, a machine.  Hence, "machine which happens to be a gun", or more concisely, "machine gun".  That's all.  Don't worry, it's an easy mistake to make.
 
2013-02-22 01:55:35 PM

MikeBoomshadow: Popcorn Johnny: His statement in court said that he wasn't wearing his prosthetics when he went to check on the noise he heard. The bullet holes in the door where at a height of 5 feet. Not that his story made any sense in the first place, but this seals the deal.

So he couldn't have been aiming slightly upward?

Or downward from a top bunk?


Why would a legless dude have bunk beds - and sleep on the top bunk - especially when he has (had) a supermodel GF?
Wait - are you being obtuse?
 
2013-02-22 01:57:55 PM

Vodka Zombie: Subby?

You magnificent bastard!


www.reactionface.info
 
2013-02-22 01:58:03 PM

ukexpat: I have never seen a bail hearing take so long. Why did it take days and not just a few hours and why did the judge/magistrate or whatever he is drone on so long giving his decision? A simple "bail granted" would have been sufficient.


To check that he wasn't doing steroids or other illegal drugs. Also, to cover the judge's ass and be sure he didn't get 'supporting a murderer' tattooed on his forehead.
 
2013-02-22 02:03:03 PM

give me doughnuts: Popcorn Johnny: His statement in court said that he wasn't wearing his prosthetics when he went to check on the noise he heard. The bullet holes in the door where at a height of 5 feet. Not that his story made any sense in the first place, but this seals the deal.

They missed a bullet left in the bathroom, didn't bother with shoe-coverings to prevent contamination of the crime scene, and "lost" the unused ammunition collected from the bedroom.

What other mistakes did they make? How accurate is the rest of their report?


Those darned police, always trying to get a case started off on an uneven footing.  The prosecution is going to be crippled by poor police work, and really have to hobble on their way to getting a conviction.
 
2013-02-22 02:09:32 PM

Langdon Alger: put the monitor around his neck so everyone can see it all the time. and make it extra tight so he'll think about what he's done everytime he eats or takes a drink that she will never have again.


images4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-02-22 02:11:48 PM

treesloth: Oh, you assumed that GungFu was referring to a fully-automatic firearm. No, no, not at all. It was simply a reference to the fact that a gun is a mechanical device; that is, a machine. Hence, "machine which happens to be a gun", or more concisely, "machine gun". That's all. Don't worry, it's an easy mistake to make.


Whew! Thanks for clearing that up!

It's almost as if people had different definitions and used trigger words for the same objects in order to promote some obscure agenda.
 
2013-02-22 02:12:10 PM
The guy is either guilty or murder or guilty of being a stupid idiot.
Either way he should rot in jail.
 
2013-02-22 02:14:59 PM
www.hollywoodtoday.net

I'm just waiting for the book to come out.
 
2013-02-22 02:16:27 PM

keylock71: I freely admit I haven't been following this story closely as I don't really care one way or the other, but...

Doesn't it seem odd that a person would just fire off multiple rounds through a bathroom door without you know, checking to see if it was just his girlfriend taking a late night dump? Especially if one lives in a gated community?

Did his girlfriend not sleep in the same bed as him?

Again, I may be missing something vital to the story here, but his version of events seems a bit suspect to me. *shrug*


I'm not sure what the moral of the story is.

Anyway, I'm coming back to the old grandfatherly standbys of "communication is key to the survival of any relationship" and "always check your targets."

I'm still waiting for somebody to claim God smote them because they were living in sin.
 
2013-02-22 02:17:09 PM

IAmRight: BTW, re: the defense claiming "well, crime is really high, so this is a totally logical sequence of events."

Um yeah, if this story passes muster, I think I can see why crime is so high. You don't even have to make up a plausible alibi!

"Yeah I shot my neighbor but I thought he was going to attack me!"
"You shot a 9-year-old kid 18 times."
"DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE CRIME RATES ARE HERE? I HEARD SOMEONE RING THE DOORBELL AND HAD TO PROTECT MYSELF!"


So Pistorius heard about the "stand your ground" law in florida and wanted to see if he qualified?
 
2013-02-22 02:17:31 PM
How do you let someone with an attempted murder charge hanging over their head be the lead detective in a murder case as high profile as this?

Truly negligent prosecution.
 
2013-02-22 02:18:47 PM
Great job subby...

i142.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-22 02:31:13 PM

President Merkin Muffley: Wow, a lot of subby dick sucking in this thread for a headline that was lifted VERBATIM from the earlier thread.


Agreed. There should be an investigation into why some headlines/stories are revered over far superior ones that are ignored.
 
2013-02-22 02:31:52 PM

GalFriday: Roses are REd
Violets are glorious
Never try to surprise
Oscar Pastorius


Your newsletter, ma'am: may I subscribe?
 
2013-02-22 02:35:14 PM

MikeBoomshadow: GalFriday: Roses are REd
Violets are glorious
Never try to surprise
Oscar Pastorius

Your newsletter, ma'am: may I subscribe?


That was from the original Valentine's Day thread a week ago. Do some of you people never login more than once a week or worse? For shame
 
2013-02-22 02:35:15 PM

cookiefleck: I'm pretty sure subby lifted this headline from a joke made in a previous thread about pistorious


Ya...its been done in the prior threads. Has anybody made a leg joke yet?

- Buzz Killington
 
2013-02-22 02:36:16 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-22 02:43:14 PM
They wouldn't give him an ankle monitor.  He'd just bedazzle it.
 
2013-02-22 02:46:58 PM
Good, if only because once again Jeffrey Toobin is made to look like a total putz. Mark Geragos totally owned him on AC360 last night. Then at the end of the segment Geragos reached over and patted Tubby on the hand as if to say, "It's okay, junior."

http://ac360.blogs.cnn.com/2013/02/21/judge-not-jury-decides-pistori us -case/?hpt=ac_bn2
 
2013-02-22 02:49:24 PM

treesloth: YouPeopleAreCrazy: And you're getting this info where? I can find no info that a machine gun was used as opposed to the 9 mm.

Oh, you assumed that GungFu was referring to a fully-automatic firearm.  No, no, not at all.  It was simply a reference to the fact that a gun is a mechanical device;  that is, a machine.  Hence, "machine which happens to be a gun", or more concisely, "machine gun".  That's all.  Don't worry, it's an easy mistake to make.


I'm a Brit. I only know guns from watching the gun shop scene in The Terminator, and that if it's an automatic, it's a machine gun, like an Uzi or a Glock.

Don't judge me!
 
2013-02-22 02:49:34 PM

GungFu: IAmRight: BTW, re: the defense claiming "well, crime is really high, so this is a totally logical sequence of events."

Um yeah, if this story passes muster, I think I can see why crime is so high. You don't even have to make up a plausible alibi!

"Yeah I shot my neighbor but I thought he was going to attack me!"
"You shot a 9-year-old kid 18 times."
"DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE CRIME RATES ARE HERE? I HEARD SOMEONE RING THE DOORBELL AND HAD TO PROTECT MYSELF!"

Yeah, it's total bullshiat.

The fact is this: he fired a machine gun into a bathroom - it's attempted murder, for one, regardless of who was in the bathroom. I'm pretty sure firing a machine gun into a closed area was not a warning tactic.

That he killed someone with his actions means he should get charged for murder or manslaughter charges. He should not get away for this because it was 'an accident'. Machine gun, ffs!

And who knows, burglar or not, he could have killed kids with his actions. Burglar kids, but kids all the same.

I hope this coont goes to jail. But I doubt he will. Yes, he will walk....an unnatural walk.


Why do you keep saying machine gun? It was a 9 mm pistol. Is this the media guide to assault rifles? Other than that I agree with you. Firing any type of gun blindly through a bathroom door should get you negligent homicide at a minimum. Assuming they have that in SA.
 
2013-02-22 02:54:35 PM

HaywoodJablonski: MikeBoomshadow: GalFriday: Roses are REd
Violets are glorious
Never try to surprise
Oscar Pastorius

Your newsletter, ma'am: may I subscribe?

That was from the original Valentine's Day thread a week ago. Do some of you people never login more than once a week or worse? For shame


No, I'm on almost every day, but sometimes I miss things by not following all threads until they close. I do this to fool people into thinking I have a life.
 
2013-02-22 03:01:33 PM

SlothB77: How do you let someone with an attempted murder charge hanging over their head be the lead detective in a murder case as high profile as this?

Truly negligent prosecution.


That was kinda the point of the question i asked earlier, that no one deemed able or willing to answer (jerks). If the guy has this thang over his head, but his bosses deem still competent in his job to let him run around doing cop stuff, then what does that case have to do with this case?

Wouldn't this set up a situation where every other, case the guy has been working on since those charges were brought up against him now be in danger of being thrown out?

Why isn't this guy on desk duty? Is he a super cop that doesn't follow the rules like Mel Gibson in lethal weapon?

Hey! Weren't there South Africans in lethal weapon?


The plot thickens.....
 
2013-02-22 03:01:55 PM

brigid_fitch: keylock71: I freely admit I haven't been following this story closely as I don't really care one way or the other, but...

Doesn't it seem odd that a person would just fire off multiple rounds through a bathroom door without you know, checking to see if it was just his girlfriend taking a late night dump? Especially if one lives in a gated community?

Did his girlfriend not sleep in the same bed as him?

Again, I may be missing something vital to the story here, but his version of events seems a bit suspect to me. *shrug*

The magistrate pointed that out during his 90-minute bail soliloquy, too.  Pistorius hears someone in the bathroom, grabs his gun, goes to the bathroom door, and fires.  Doesn't put on his prosthetics, doesn't check to see if his girlfriend is in bed next to him, doesn't call out to see if it's her in the bathroom--just fires.  I don't care how groggy you are in the middle of the night, your first instincts aren't to fire blindly at a locked bathroom door.


Based on his statement, he woke up, got out of bed to move a fan and when he returned to bed he noticed that someone was in the toilet room within the bathroom. The bathroom window was open. He said that in hindsight, she must have gotten up as he was moving the fan. So I assume his girlfriend was next to him in bed when he got out, and by the time he returned she was in the toilet room and that's where the confusion set in. If I get out of a bed where I know my wife is sleeping and 30 seconds later notice that someone is locked in the bathroom, my first thought might be an intruder.
 
2013-02-22 03:08:23 PM

PoochUMD: The magistrate pointed that out during his 90-minute bail soliloquy, too. Pistorius hears someone in the bathroom, grabs his gun, goes to the bathroom door, and fires. Doesn't put on his prosthetics, doesn't check to see if his girlfriend is in bed next to him, doesn't call out to see if it's her in the bathroom--just fires. I don't care how groggy you are in the middle of the night, your first instincts aren't to fire blindly at a locked bathroom door.

Based on his statement, he woke up, got out of bed to move a fan and when he returned to bed he noticed that someone was in the toilet room within the bathroom. The bathroom window was open. He said that in hindsight, she must have gotten up as he was moving the fan. So I assume his girlfriend was next to him in bed when he got out, and by the time he returned she was in the toilet room and that's where the confusion set in. If I get out of a bed where I know my wife is sleeping and 30 seconds later notice that someone is locked in the bathroom, my first thought might be an intruder.


It may not matter. There was another magistrate interviewed a few days back and he said it does not matter if he "felt" threatened. Under SA law firing blindly into a door constitutes murder.
 
2013-02-22 03:19:30 PM

lucksi: Sybarite: When the case goes to trial, a judge will decide Pistorius' fate. There are no jury trials in criminal cases in South Africa

Hmm, learned something new.

Dude, most of the world has a different justice system. In fact, if your country doesn't have a trial by jury system, you'd find a system with a jury utterly ridiculous.

On the other hand, I always get a laugh if some stupid reporter says "Didn't get a trial by jury just like in Nazi-Germany" Or, you know, modern day Germany.


50% of all the jury trails in the world are conducted in the United States.
 
2013-02-22 03:21:12 PM
But he doesn't have any legs LT. Dan
 
2013-02-22 03:22:08 PM
You all forget - He's a running man, it goes around his neck!

/perimeter armed
 
2013-02-22 03:22:22 PM
PoochUMD:  brigid_fitch: keylock71: I freely admit I haven't been following this story closely as I don't really care one way or the other, but...
Doesn't it seem odd that a person would just fire off multiple rounds through a bathroom door without you know, checking to see if it was just his girlfriend taking a late night dump? Especially if one lives in a gated community?
Did his girlfriend not sleep in the same bed as him?
Again, I may be missing something vital to the story here, but his version of events seems a bit suspect to me. *shrug*
The magistrate pointed that out during his 90-minute bail soliloquy, too.  Pistorius hears someone in the bathroom, grabs his gun, goes to the bathroom door, and fires.  Doesn't put on his prosthetics, doesn't check to see if his girlfriend is in bed next to him, doesn't call out to see if it's her in the bathroom--just fires.  I don't care how groggy you are in the middle of the night, your first instincts aren't to fire blindly at a locked bathroom door.
Based on his statement, he woke up, got out of bed to move a fan and when he returned to bed he noticed that someone was in the toilet room within the bathroom. The bathroom window was open. He said that in hindsight, she must have gotten up as he was moving the fan. So I assume his girlfriend was next to him in bed when he got out, and by the time he returned she was in the toilet room and that's where the confusion set in. If I get out of a bed where I know my wife is sleeping and 30 seconds later notice that someone is locked in the bathroom, my first thought might be an intruder.


So by your account when he went back to bed, he was able to notice that someone was in the bathroom but wasn't able to notice that his girlfriend was missing from bed.  I wasn't aware that when a crook burglarizes a home the bathroom is a prime target.
 
2013-02-22 03:23:36 PM

bedtundy: GungFu: IAmRight: BTW, re: the defense claiming "well, crime is really high, so this is a totally logical sequence of events."

Um yeah, if this story passes muster, I think I can see why crime is so high. You don't even have to make up a plausible alibi!

"Yeah I shot my neighbor but I thought he was going to attack me!"
"You shot a 9-year-old kid 18 times."
"DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE CRIME RATES ARE HERE? I HEARD SOMEONE RING THE DOORBELL AND HAD TO PROTECT MYSELF!"

Yeah, it's total bullshiat.

The fact is this: he fired a machine gun into a bathroom - it's attempted murder, for one, regardless of who was in the bathroom. I'm pretty sure firing a machine gun into a closed area was not a warning tactic.

That he killed someone with his actions means he should get charged for murder or manslaughter charges. He should not get away for this because it was 'an accident'. Machine gun, ffs!

And who knows, burglar or not, he could have killed kids with his actions. Burglar kids, but kids all the same.

I hope this coont goes to jail. But I doubt he will. Yes, he will walk....an unnatural walk.

He'll most likely get hit with manslaughter charges, but this is South Africa so I'm not familiar with how their laws look upon unintended consequences.  That is if he can prove the consequences of his actions weren't intentional.  However, firing blindly into a door the person doing the firing generally has an idea of what will happen on the other side of the door.  This is a weird one though.


You're also apparently not familiar with the fact that he's already been charged with murder.
 
2013-02-22 03:26:33 PM

ukexpat: I have never seen a bail hearing take so long. Why did it take days and not just a few hours and why did the judge/magistrate or whatever he is drone on so long giving his decision? A simple "bail granted" would have been sufficient.


Looks like S. Africa isn't immune to the celebrity trial effect.

Most judges don't take quite as long as Lance Ito did, either...
 
2013-02-22 03:30:04 PM

brigid_fitch: keylock71: I freely admit I haven't been following this story closely as I don't really care one way or the other, but...

Doesn't it seem odd that a person would just fire off multiple rounds through a bathroom door without you know, checking to see if it was just his girlfriend taking a late night dump? Especially if one lives in a gated community?

Did his girlfriend not sleep in the same bed as him?

Again, I may be missing something vital to the story here, but his version of events seems a bit suspect to me. *shrug*

The magistrate pointed that out during his 90-minute bail soliloquy, too.  Pistorius hears someone in the bathroom, grabs his gun, goes to the bathroom door, and fires.  Doesn't put on his prosthetics, doesn't check to see if his girlfriend is in bed next to him, doesn't call out to see if it's her in the bathroom--just fires.  I don't care how groggy you are in the middle of the night, your first instincts aren't to fire blindly at a locked bathroom door.


Normally, I'd agree, but S. Africa has a truly heinous crime rate...when I was there in '97, heavily armed gangs of former POLICEMEN were knocking over a bank a week.  Not sure things have gotten any better, and any competent defense attorney will play up that angle.
 
2013-02-22 03:34:14 PM

GungFu: IAmRight: BTW, re: the defense claiming "well, crime is really high, so this is a totally logical sequence of events."

Um yeah, if this story passes muster, I think I can see why crime is so high. You don't even have to make up a plausible alibi!

"Yeah I shot my neighbor but I thought he was going to attack me!"
"You shot a 9-year-old kid 18 times."
"DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE CRIME RATES ARE HERE? I HEARD SOMEONE RING THE DOORBELL AND HAD TO PROTECT MYSELF!"

Yeah, it's total bullshiat.

The fact is this: he fired a machine gun into a bathroom - it's attempted murder, for one, regardless of who was in the bathroom. I'm pretty sure firing a machine gun into a closed area was not a warning tactic.

That he killed someone with his actions means he should get charged for murder or manslaughter charges. He should not get away for this because it was 'an accident'. Machine gun, ffs!

And who knows, burglar or not, he could have killed kids with his actions. Burglar kids, but kids all the same.

I hope this coont goes to jail. But I doubt he will. Yes, he will walk....an unnatural walk.


I'm pretty liberal, but I don't farking care how young a burglar is...getting shot IS an occupational hazard.

If they're young enough, the homeowner should get to shoot the parents too...even if they weren't there.
 
2013-02-22 03:37:42 PM

Latinwolf: PoochUMD:  brigid_fitch: keylock71: I freely admit I haven't been following this story closely as I don't really care one way or the other, but...
Doesn't it seem odd that a person would just fire off multiple rounds through a bathroom door without you know, checking to see if it was just his girlfriend taking a late night dump? Especially if one lives in a gated community?
Did his girlfriend not sleep in the same bed as him?
Again, I may be missing something vital to the story here, but his version of events seems a bit suspect to me. *shrug*
The magistrate pointed that out during his 90-minute bail soliloquy, too.  Pistorius hears someone in the bathroom, grabs his gun, goes to the bathroom door, and fires.  Doesn't put on his prosthetics, doesn't check to see if his girlfriend is in bed next to him, doesn't call out to see if it's her in the bathroom--just fires.  I don't care how groggy you are in the middle of the night, your first instincts aren't to fire blindly at a locked bathroom door.
Based on his statement, he woke up, got out of bed to move a fan and when he returned to bed he noticed that someone was in the toilet room within the bathroom. The bathroom window was open. He said that in hindsight, she must have gotten up as he was moving the fan. So I assume his girlfriend was next to him in bed when he got out, and by the time he returned she was in the toilet room and that's where the confusion set in. If I get out of a bed where I know my wife is sleeping and 30 seconds later notice that someone is locked in the bathroom, my first thought might be an intruder.

So by your account when he went back to bed, he was able to notice that someone was in the bathroom but wasn't able to notice that his girlfriend was missing from bed.  I wasn't aware that when a crook burglarizes a home the bathroom is a prime target.


In a pitch black room (according to him), it's easy to notice a crack of light around a toilet room door and not that your girlfriend that was sleeping in bed 30 seconds prior is no longer there. The bathroom window was open and the only point of entry for a burglar to enter the bedroom. So like I said, my first thought might be intruder. My second, third and forth thoughts might be ways to confirm that suspicion before opening fire on a door though.
 
2013-02-22 03:38:30 PM

monoski: Skyrmion: Popcorn Johnny: His statement in court said that he wasn't wearing his prosthetics when he went to check on the noise he heard. The bullet holes in the door where at a height of 5 feet. Not that his story made any sense in the first place, but this seals the deal.

He wasn't particularly close to the door that he was shooting through. You might be able to tell something from the angle that the bullets went through, but not from the 5 ft. height itself.

There was a magistrate interviewed a few days back and he said it does not matter if he "felt" threatened. Under SA law firing blindly into a door constitutes murder.


S. African homicide/manslaughter split:

http://books.google.com/books?id=ggxAhLBuOegC&pg=PA469&lpg=PA469&dq= s. +africa+manslaughter+law&source=bl&ots=0Y0PuRObfi&sig=cRIb3zWNoxXqIhsT COsEXv8kwME&hl=en&sa=X&ei=2dYnUZnMIcXh0gGEr4GQDg&ved=0CC0Q6AEwAA#v=one page&q=s.%20africa%20manslaughter%20law&f=false
 
2013-02-22 03:49:26 PM

give me doughnuts: They missed a bullet left in the bathroom, didn't bother with shoe-coverings to prevent contamination of the crime scene, and "lost" the unused ammunition collected from the bedroom.

What other mistakes did they make? How accurate is the rest of their report?


You should be a defense attorney.
 
2013-02-22 03:52:14 PM

GungFu: I'm a Brit. I only know guns from watching the gun shop scene in The Terminator, and that if it's an automatic, it's a machine gun, like an Uzi or a Glock.

Don't judge me!


Not to derail, but this right here is one of the main problems of the whole gun control debate. People coughing up opinions on things they know nothing about.
And other people making laws on things they know nothing about.

/outlawing bits of evil looking plastic
 
2013-02-22 03:56:58 PM

YouPeopleAreCrazy: And other people making laws on things they know nothing about.


I'd say they know a lot more about guns than they do any of the other things they're making laws about. At least there's something tangible with them and there are actual definitions, even if they don't know them. What are the odds any of them have read the whole tax code that they keep amending? Or any of the legislation that gets passed?
 
2013-02-22 04:03:00 PM

YouPeopleAreCrazy: And other people making laws on things they know nothing about.


Isn't that pretty much Congress' entire job?? It would be nice if prior to proposing any law or voting on it, they all had to attend some in-depth classes at least explaining the basics of WTF it was the law in question pertains to, and maybe even be required to pass a test on the subject before being allowed to vote on the law, but I suspect that'll never happen... So, we're stuck with people who nothing about guns making laws about guns, people who know nothing about the Internet making laws about the Internet, people who know nothing about video games making laws about video games, etc... It's not merely limited to gun-control, I'm afraid...
 
2013-02-22 04:22:58 PM

monoski: PoochUMD: The magistrate pointed that out during his 90-minute bail soliloquy, too. Pistorius hears someone in the bathroom, grabs his gun, goes to the bathroom door, and fires. Doesn't put on his prosthetics, doesn't check to see if his girlfriend is in bed next to him, doesn't call out to see if it's her in the bathroom--just fires. I don't care how groggy you are in the middle of the night, your first instincts aren't to fire blindly at a locked bathroom door.

Based on his statement, he woke up, got out of bed to move a fan and when he returned to bed he noticed that someone was in the toilet room within the bathroom. The bathroom window was open. He said that in hindsight, she must have gotten up as he was moving the fan. So I assume his girlfriend was next to him in bed when he got out, and by the time he returned she was in the toilet room and that's where the confusion set in. If I get out of a bed where I know my wife is sleeping and 30 seconds later notice that someone is locked in the bathroom, my first thought might be an intruder.

It may not matter. There was another magistrate interviewed a few days back and he said it does not matter if he "felt" threatened. Under SA law firing blindly into a door constitutes murder.


Yes, it does constitute murder.  However, the prosecution is going for PREMEDITATED Murder.  Regardless of the charges, it's pretty much guaranteed that he will serve some time, but I see nothing in either version of events that screams 'premeditated'..

Personally, I'm of the opinion that it was a terrible and tragic mistake...but if they don't get the charges straightened out, I wonder if this might turn into another Casey Anthony trial.  There is no way they have the evidence to meet the burden of proof for premeditation.
 
2013-02-22 04:24:15 PM

SarcasticFark: Personally, I'm of the opinion that it was a terrible and tragic mistake...


You're kind of a sucker then.
 
2013-02-22 04:25:56 PM

IAmRight: SarcasticFark: Personally, I'm of the opinion that it was a terrible and tragic mistake...

You're kind of a sucker then.


Well then tell me, Mr Right...what evidence, in your mind, points to him being guilty of premeditation?
 
2013-02-22 04:55:21 PM
Has anyone called Subby a magnificent bastard yet?
 
2013-02-22 04:57:28 PM

SarcasticFark: Well then tell me, Mr Right...what evidence, in your mind, points to him being guilty of premeditation?


His entire story.

Don't care what the crime rate is. There's no way I'm going to believe that he automatically hears a bump in the night and immediately shoots up whatever door is closed, just because you'd figure it might've come up before.
 
2013-02-22 05:13:37 PM
Probably the best headline of the year. Bravo! Clever as hell.
 
2013-02-22 05:35:23 PM

Tigger: lucksi: Sybarite: When the case goes to trial, a judge will decide Pistorius' fate. There are no jury trials in criminal cases in South Africa

Hmm, learned something new.

Dude, most of the world has a different justice system. In fact, if your country doesn't have a trial by jury system, you'd find a system with a jury utterly ridiculous.

On the other hand, I always get a laugh if some stupid reporter says "Didn't get a trial by jury just like in Nazi-Germany" Or, you know, modern day Germany.

50% of all the jury trails in the world are conducted in the United States.


As are the Oregon Trails.
 
2013-02-22 05:38:12 PM

Cerebral Knievel: SlothB77: How do you let someone with an attempted murder charge hanging over their head be the lead detective in a murder case as high profile as this?

Truly negligent prosecution.

That was kinda the point of the question i asked earlier, that no one deemed able or willing to answer (jerks). If the guy has this thang over his head, but his bosses deem still competent in his job to let him run around doing cop stuff, then what does that case have to do with this case?

Wouldn't this set up a situation where every other, case the guy has been working on since those charges were brought up against him now be in danger of being thrown out?

Why isn't this guy on desk duty? Is he a super cop that doesn't follow the rules like Mel Gibson in lethal weapon?

Hey! Weren't there South Africans in lethal weapon?


The plot thickens.....


There was an article from when this was first announced that said that the police officer was originally cleared of all charges from that, but very recently the case was reopened and his immediate commanders didn't know about it. It all smells a little fishy to me.
 
2013-02-22 05:41:11 PM

Popcorn Johnny: His statement in court said that he wasn't wearing his prosthetics when he went to check on the noise he heard. The bullet holes in the door where at a height of 5 feet. Not that his story made any sense in the first place, but this seals the deal.


The trick to this is that bullets can travel UP quite well if the gun is tilted that way.  With a standard indoor door you have two panels for the bullet to penetrate, giving you the ability to determine the vector and thus the firing height.  It's not entirely accurate - bullets will tend to make much bigger holes than the neat silhouettes you get with paper targets, but you should still be able to make that determination.

IAmRight: His entire story.


Remember, we only have news reports written by reporters for his story; in cases like this I believe that 'the devil is in the details'.  Lacking those, I can't really say how the trial will turn out.

All I can say is that, on the balance, I think he needs to serve a good amount of time.  US justice system - 20 years.  Norway - 7.
 
2013-02-22 06:19:58 PM
Did he not realize whose head he was bashing in with the cricket bat?
 
2013-02-22 06:26:51 PM
www.goldenspatula.net

Certainly they can find some for him that the ankle monitor will fit on.
 
2013-02-22 06:27:02 PM
Notsureifflightrisk

Confiscate his legs?
 
2013-02-22 06:27:31 PM

IAmRight: SarcasticFark: Well then tell me, Mr Right...what evidence, in your mind, points to him being guilty of premeditation?

His entire story.

Don't care what the crime rate is. There's no way I'm going to believe that he automatically hears a bump in the night and immediately shoots up whatever door is closed, just because you'd figure it might've come up before.


Apparently you lack the reading comprehension skills that I require to enter into a debate with you.  I spoke only to the charge of premeditation, not the murder charge itself.
 
2013-02-22 06:54:34 PM
Wow. Why don't we settle down people. It really wasn't that great.
 
2013-02-22 07:24:48 PM
Nicely done Esubrakey!
 
2013-02-22 07:41:54 PM

Firethorn: The trick to this is that bullets can travel UP quite well if the gun is tilted that way.  With a standard indoor door you have two panels for the bullet to penetrate, giving you the ability to determine the vector and thus the firing height.  It's not entirely accurate - bullets will tend to make much bigger holes than the neat silhouettes you get with paper targets, but you should still be able to make that determination.


If the bullets were fired upward and went through the door at 5 feet, they wouldn't have hit her.
 
2013-02-22 07:42:33 PM
www.kutsuki.org

Clearly, we're going to have to up our game for this guy.
 
2013-02-22 08:01:51 PM

ongbok: Cerebral Knievel: SlothB77: How do you let someone with an attempted murder charge hanging over their head be the lead detective in a murder case as high profile as this?

Truly negligent prosecution.

That was kinda the point of the question i asked earlier, that no one deemed able or willing to answer (jerks). If the guy has this thang over his head, but his bosses deem still competent in his job to let him run around doing cop stuff, then what does that case have to do with this case?

Wouldn't this set up a situation where every other, case the guy has been working on since those charges were brought up against him now be in danger of being thrown out?

Why isn't this guy on desk duty? Is he a super cop that doesn't follow the rules like Mel Gibson in lethal weapon?

Hey! Weren't there South Africans in lethal weapon?


The plot thickens.....

There was an article from when this was first announced that said that the police officer was originally cleared of all charges from that, but very recently the case was reopened and his immediate commanders didn't know about it. It all smells a little fishy to me.


well yes, it appears that a lot of money is being spent and influence being pushed to protect a national hero

this whole Shot at a mini bus thing sounds to me like perps flee the scene, almost runs over the cop in the process, officer discharges weapon to get the thing to stop, followed by an investigation as to why the weapon was discharged in the first place routine stuff.

now that there is the reputation of a national hero on the line, railroad the guy in charge of investigating the crime to protect the hero with clay fee.....

.....sorry...
 
2013-02-22 08:08:57 PM
Why is this such a big story?

Some guy who I never heard of before kills his wife in farking South Africa and it gets wall to wall coverage on the news.

I think this is the first time a murder in South Africa has received this much coverage on foreign news outlets and as I understand it South Africa is a violent country.
 
2013-02-22 08:11:07 PM
Seems like the South African Constabulary are going to so what Nature couldn't: get Pistorius to walk.
 
2013-02-22 08:33:06 PM
Subby, has a leg up on the HOTY competition.
 
2013-02-22 09:43:25 PM

cookiefleck: I'm pretty sure subby lifted this headline from a joke made in a previous thread about pistorious


This. Saw it in a previous thread. Bad subby!
 
2013-02-22 10:52:10 PM

Vodka Zombie: Subby?

You magnificent bastard!


Seconded.

www.film-trip.com
 
2013-02-22 11:26:59 PM

ukexpat: I have never seen a bail hearing take so long. Why did it take days and not just a few hours and why did the judge/magistrate or whatever he is drone on so long giving his decision? A simple "bail granted" would have been sufficient.


Completely agree.
 
2013-02-23 12:08:35 AM
Cant' wait to see the Antwoord video, me.
m.cdn.blog.hu ">
 
2013-02-23 02:52:13 AM
Why does no one mention the fact that he had a state-of-the-art surveillance system in his home AND three large dogs? And if he was so scared of burglars--what do you do, leave the window open and accessible, or put safety bars on it?

Of course I'd like to think it was an accident but his story has lots of implausible elements. It seems they strained to come up with a scenario that fit the evidence they had. The testosterone was his father's? Riiiiight... He shot through the bathroom door four times from a height of 5' without his prosthetics on? Riiight.

Also, the point about her locking or unlocking the door is kind of moot, unless we know what she normally does, which is where her family or other witnesses come in. Some people see that a bathroom door being closed is enough of an indicator to others not to barge in. Some are extra-inhibited/insecure and insist on it being locked. Whatever, could swing either way.

Motive? There were lots of rumors swirling around about her potentially being involved with someone else at the same time, and they possibly were texting each other. That might have pissed off a testosterone laden, very driven guy who's grown somewhat used to having things his way (see his tiff at the 2012 Paralympics, 400m).

Also, people keep saying her bladder was empty so she went to the toilet to pee and it was all a mistake. But how do we know she didn't empty her bladder two hours before, and hadn't consumed liquids for the previous eight?

I can't believe he got bail. He seems like a dangerous, volatile trigger happy control freak to me. As well as a liar.
 
2013-02-23 03:03:35 AM
SarcasticFarkYes, it does constitute murder. However, the prosecution is going for PREMEDITATED Murder. Regardless of the charges, it's pretty much guaranteed that he will serve some time, but I see nothing in either version of events that screams 'premeditated'..

Personally, I'm of the opinion that it was a terrible and tragic mistake...but if they don't get the charges straightened out, I wonder if this might turn into another Casey Anthony trial. There is no way they have the evidence to meet the burden of proof for premeditation.


There's not been enough time for them to gather forensic evidence that it was premeditated, or perhaps they haven't revealed what they do have. I think any text messages, for example, will be critical. And if they did have a fight and he followed her into the bathroom as opposed to "whoops-a-daisy, I thought an intruder had locked himself in there", then yes, it was premeditated.

At this point you really have no basis to weight it in either direction. We have his rendition which is probably going to be a tad inaccurate if he is guilty. We have the prosecution's case which is probably going to be a tad inaccurate because more evidence/forensics gathering is needed. As well as maybe a prosecutor with a cleaner record. So try to retain some objectivity. We simply don't have enough knowledge of the evidence at this point to make a proper decision as to his guilt or innocence of premeditated murder.
 
2013-02-23 06:21:50 AM

farkplug: Why does no one mention the fact that he had a state-of-the-art surveillance system in his home AND three large dogs? And if he was so scared of burglars--what do you do, leave the window open and accessible, or put safety bars on it?

Of course I'd like to think it was an accident but his story has lots of implausible elements. It seems they strained to come up with a scenario that fit the evidence they had. The testosterone was his father's? Riiiiight... He shot through the bathroom door four times from a height of 5' without his prosthetics on? Riiight.

Also, the point about her locking or unlocking the door is kind of moot, unless we know what she normally does, which is where her family or other witnesses come in. Some people see that a bathroom door being closed is enough of an indicator to others not to barge in. Some are extra-inhibited/insecure and insist on it being locked. Whatever, could swing either way.

Motive? There were lots of rumors swirling around about her potentially being involved with someone else at the same time, and they possibly were texting each other. That might have pissed off a testosterone laden, very driven guy who's grown somewhat used to having things his way (see his tiff at the 2012 Paralympics, 400m).

Also, people keep saying her bladder was empty so she went to the toilet to pee and it was all a mistake. But how do we know she didn't empty her bladder two hours before, and hadn't consumed liquids for the previous eight?

I can't believe he got bail. He seems like a dangerous, volatile trigger happy control freak to me. As well as a liar.


Undersigned by me
 
2013-02-23 10:21:10 AM
I hate when people pluck a funny comment from a previous thread and everybody gives them credit for such a funny headline.
 
2013-02-23 10:47:55 AM
I hate when people pluck a funny comment from a previous thread and everybody gives them credit for such a funny headline.

So do I, although we don't know for 100% certain that the new poster didn't think of the same thing. It is kind of an obvious joke to make. The decent thing would be for the subby to let us know either way, and especially to give the original poster credit.
 
2013-02-23 01:24:33 PM

farkplug: I hate when people pluck a funny comment from a previous thread and everybody gives them credit for such a funny headline.

So do I, although we don't know for 100% certain that the new poster didn't think of the same thing. It is kind of an obvious joke to make. The decent thing would be for the subby to let us know either way, and especially to give the original poster credit.


Please see upthread where I gently addressed this a couple times. We both thought of the same rather obvious joke, and I gave kudos where they were due for an earlier post that I hadn't seen before nor plucked.
 
2013-02-23 02:06:35 PM
Awesome, then, E-brake!
 
2013-02-23 02:17:31 PM

farkplug: Awesome, then, E-brake!


Thank you, much appreciated.
 
2013-02-23 06:11:24 PM

Happy Hours: Why is this such a big story?

Some guy who I never heard of before kills his wife in farking South Africa and it gets wall to wall coverage on the news.

I think this is the first time a murder in South Africa has received this much coverage on foreign news outlets and as I understand it South Africa is a violent country.


A billion trillion times THIS.

WHO THE fark CARES?
 
2013-02-23 06:22:24 PM
E-Brake: farkplug: Awesome, then, E-brake!

- - -

Thank you, much appreciated.


;-)  You're quite welcome.
 
2013-02-23 07:41:10 PM

omnibus_necanda_sunt: Happy Hours: Why is this such a big story?

Some guy who I never heard of before kills his wife in farking South Africa and it gets wall to wall coverage on the news.

I think this is the first time a murder in South Africa has received this much coverage on foreign news outlets and as I understand it South Africa is a violent country.

A billion trillion times THIS.

WHO THE fark CARES?


A famous athlete....as in VERY famous in his country, and fairly well known throughout the world by those who follow sports, who overcomes a huge disability to become very good at what he does....and then does what he is accused of (and has admitted to, though he claims he thought she was an intruder) and you don't see the big deal? Like it or not, if you're famous and you fark up, it's bigger news than if you're Joe Blow.
 
2013-02-24 03:32:15 AM

John Buck 41: omnibus_necanda_sunt: Happy Hours: Why is this such a big story?

Some guy who I never heard of before kills his wife in farking South Africa and it gets wall to wall coverage on the news.

I think this is the first time a murder in South Africa has received this much coverage on foreign news outlets and as I understand it South Africa is a violent country.

A billion trillion times THIS.

WHO THE fark CARES?

A famous athlete....as in VERY famous in his country, and fairly well known throughout the world by those who follow sports, who overcomes a huge disability to become very good at what he does....and then does what he is accused of (and has admitted to, though he claims he thought she was an intruder) and you don't see the big deal? Like it or not, if you're famous and you fark up, it's bigger news than if you're Joe Blow.


Doesn't matter if it was deliberate or accidental, HE SHOT THROUGH A DOOR.

No story here. He shouldn't get bail, he should get convicted. There's no possible chain of events where he's not a bad guy. You don't shoot through doors.
 
2013-02-24 02:55:47 PM

doglover: You don't shoot through doors.


Actually, you can shoot through a door in the USA, if you are able to give a reasonable explanation(IE others agree that in the same situation they'd think the same) as to why you were afraid for your life.

This, I believe, does not rise to that standard.  Cases I remember involved stalkers, people with weapons(one case of 'hatchet to the door'), yelled death threats, etc...
 
2013-02-25 09:35:01 AM

SarcasticFark: Apparently you lack the reading comprehension skills that I require to enter into a debate with you.  I spoke only to the charge of premeditation, not the murder charge itself.


Okay, well, he went and fired into a locked door with the intent of shooting/killing whoever was on the other side. Given the fact that there's no logical way he could've believed that it was anyone but his girlfriend, and there's no reasonable claim of self-defense, he wanted to murder his girlfriend.
 
2013-02-25 12:53:22 PM

doglover: You don't shoot through doors.


Chopping's still OK, though?
www.futfanatico.com
/heeeere's oscar
 
2013-02-25 05:19:09 PM

GungFu: I'm a Brit. I only know guns from watching the gun shop scene in The Terminator, and that if it's an automatic, it's a machine gun, like an Uzi or a Glock.

Don't judge me!


It's cool.  It doesn't help that the terms in the gun world (and many others as well) aren't applied consistently.  Some pistols are called "automatics", leading to the misunderstanding that they are "full" automatics.  In reality, they're "semi" automatics-- that is, a part of the process to fire following an initial shot is automatic (namely, the loading of another round in the chamber) but not the actual firing itself.  That still requires the user to pull the trigger; hence, semi-auto.  There are full-auto pistols, but they're not exactly common or easy to get.  The term sometimes, but not always, changes when applied to rifles, carbines, etc.  There are rifles that are "semi-auto" in the same sense as a pistol is, but I've never heard one called that.  Could just be me, though, and the term does exist.  I just don't know how common it is.  It seems that "auto-loading" is more common, maybe?  And, of course, there are full-auto rifles.

And don't get me started on lightsabers.  Are they really sabers, or are they more like rapiers?  Are they "laser swords" or contained cyclic plasma?  Are the crystals natural or synthetic?  And why can't I buy little tiny lightsabers as steak knives?  I mean, really, with all that I'd almost rather just have a good .45 at my side.
 
Displayed 204 of 204 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report