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(NJ.com)   Like the four-minute mile, many thought the 100 bags of heroin up the butt threshold was unattainable, impossible. But once again we've learned there are no boundaries what humans can accomplish   (nj.com ) divider line
    More: Unlikely, New York, street gangs, heroin  
•       •       •

6911 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Feb 2013 at 10:17 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



86 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-02-22 09:28:46 AM  
FTA: According to Coppola, Speight - who records indicated is a member of the Bloods street gang - had hidden 100 bags of heroin inside his anus, presumably to avoid them being found during the search of the car. The estimated street value of 100 bags of heroin is around $1,000 in New York City, and around twice that in upstate New York.


For (at most) $2K? No way
 
2013-02-22 09:36:49 AM  
On the up side, he's got a bright future in fisting porn.
 
2013-02-22 09:37:41 AM  
If there's a Drug Mule Hall of Fame, this guy belongs in it. First ballot.
 
2013-02-22 09:48:29 AM  

Generation_D: If there's a Drug Mule Hall of Fame, this guy belongs in it. First ballot.


i dunno man, he was caught with a used heroin spoon/syringe, and we all know how unfavorably the DMHF looks upon doping.
 
2013-02-22 09:55:55 AM  
i193.photobucket.com

Approves
 
2013-02-22 09:56:09 AM  
blog.zap2it.com
 
2013-02-22 09:57:12 AM  
Did he have polio as a child?  No?  Candy-ass!
 
2013-02-22 10:08:02 AM  
I...wait...really? No. Seriously.
 
2013-02-22 10:21:22 AM  
This man deserves a medal.
 
2013-02-22 10:21:37 AM  
He's gonna be real popular in the pokey.
I wonder if he's got soft hands too.
 
2013-02-22 10:22:35 AM  
I think someone's math is a little bit off in this story.
 
2013-02-22 10:23:42 AM  
The first thing I thought of when I read the headline was last nights episode of Archer.

/I have no idea what that means.
 
2013-02-22 10:23:48 AM  
If you're going to smuggle heroin, it helps to look like this:

image.shutterstock.com

Not like this:

media.nj.com
 
2013-02-22 10:24:50 AM  
Is this worth $100 and a free trip to New York??  You betcha!

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-22 10:24:54 AM  
FTA: had hidden 100 bags of heroin inside his anus, presumably to avoid them being found during the search of the car.

Are you sure it wasn't for pleasure, or a bet?

Mighty fine journalism there Lou.
 
2013-02-22 10:25:35 AM  

Farklee: I think someone's math is a little bit off in this story.


That's not the only thing that's off: "Speight - who records indicated is a member of the Bloods street gang - had hidden 100 bags of heroin inside his anus, presumably to avoid them being found during the search of the car".

The author makes it sound like he saw the blue lights roll up behind him and only then started stuffing.
 
2013-02-22 10:25:48 AM  
Came for FrankGallagher, a.k.a.El Gran Canon.

Leaving satisfied.
 
2013-02-22 10:27:34 AM  
Meh.

My brother in law told me how he snuck eight packs of cigarettes into prison (or was it jail?) in his ass. It wasn't a comfortable conversation, but I learned a lot about life behind bars. He told me that he lived like a king on those cigs.

/the more you know
 
2013-02-22 10:28:56 AM  
Do. You. Need. Help. With. Insertion?
images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-02-22 10:29:24 AM  
This ought to be a PSA.  Instead of "Just say no," Nancy Reagan should have reminded people that the drugs you are about to put into your body previously traveled in someones anus.
 
2013-02-22 10:29:56 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: If you're going to smuggle heroin, it helps to look like this:

[image.shutterstock.com image 300x470]

Not like this:

[media.nj.com image 300x290]



Or being a pregnant mule, like this:

  encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-22 10:30:00 AM  
We had a case in my county with 94 bags and I thought that was unbelievable. The reason the guy got caught? He had also stuffed a syringe up there and when the cop patted him down during a traffic stop he felt the syringe sticking out.

The best part was the headline in the local paper: "Junk in the Trunk".
 
2013-02-22 10:32:22 AM  
So how often does heroin taste like poop anyway?
 
2013-02-22 10:36:43 AM  

ThreeEdgedSword: This man deserves a medal.


The Medal of Metamucil.

Got this funny image of a heroin sale in progress.  "You got my shiat, man?" "Yeah, right here..."
 
2013-02-22 10:36:53 AM  
 
2013-02-22 10:38:04 AM  
Approves.    cdn1.screenrant.com
 
2013-02-22 10:38:23 AM  
In other news, the price of heroin has crashed.  Or, in a stunning first, the reporter used actual street prices instead of Cop Math.

So how long does it take for the the arresting officer to tell his Sargent that $10,000 of heroin was siezed, who then tells his captain $100,000 was taken off the street and the Police Chief announces a $1M bust of a major drug ring?
 
2013-02-22 10:39:14 AM  
I bet the cop doing the cavity search felt like a goddamn magician during this procedure

Also how does he know he got them ALL?
 
2013-02-22 10:40:05 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: If you're going to smuggle heroin, it helps to look like this:

[image.shutterstock.com image 300x470]

Not like this:

[media.nj.com image 300x290]


Say, is that first image from Shutterstock?
 
2013-02-22 10:40:11 AM  
Remember, kids, when you buy heroin, at one point it was probably in someone's ass.

Gives a whole new meaning to the term Mr. Brownstone, doesn't it?
 
2013-02-22 10:43:22 AM  
So let me get this straight...

This guy had an outstanding warrant, put a tinted cover (or something similar) over his license plate, and smoked weed while driving down the parkway, all while transporting 100 bags of smack?

Please tell me he was driving himself to a law enforcement office to surrender, and they just caught him before he arrived. Otherwise, this guy sounds too dumb to put on his own pants, let alone drive a car.
 
2013-02-22 10:43:38 AM  
25.media.tumblr.com

Ninety eight...ninety nine...von hundred! Von hundred bags of heroin stuffed up his ass!
 
2013-02-22 10:44:31 AM  
Paging Mr. Depp to the White Courtesy Phone, Paging Mr. Depp. Please pick up before night falls!
 
2013-02-22 10:48:09 AM  
After removing the first one, they should have sang, "99 baggies of heroin up the butt, 99 baggies of heroin..."
 
2013-02-22 10:48:10 AM  
Remember to always buy your heroin from a reputable source. You don't want to end up with tainted heroin.
 
2013-02-22 10:48:43 AM  
I misread the headline as 100 lbs of heroin and thought "Cop Math."  My bad.
 
2013-02-22 10:49:16 AM  

Elroydb: I bet the cop doing the cavity search felt like a goddamn magician during this procedure

Also how does he know he got them ALL?


You let nature take its course.  Or you could help it along a little bit.
 
2013-02-22 10:52:12 AM  
Records are made to be broken.
 
2013-02-22 11:12:47 AM  
www.thenakedrunners.com
Jolly-well approves
 
2013-02-22 11:20:26 AM  
...and a partridge in a pear tree
 
2013-02-22 11:22:27 AM  

Shabe: [www.thenakedrunners.com image 600x471]
Jolly-well approves


He couldn't have done it without the 27 bags of h up his ass. And people then thought THAT was a lot of junk.
 
2013-02-22 11:27:00 AM  
Kim Kardashian is smuggling heroin now?
 
2013-02-22 11:28:38 AM  

Zul the Magnificent: Kim Kardashian is smuggling heroin now?


Nope! Just black cranks.....
 
2013-02-22 11:32:13 AM  
Kids, why would you want to inject something into your blood that's been up someone's rectum?
 
2013-02-22 11:38:41 AM  

Keyser_Soze_Death: Came for FrankGallagher, a.k.a.El Gran Canon.

Leaving satisfied.


My first thought as well.
 
2013-02-22 11:39:05 AM  
When I read this I thought the guy was going for broke, like this is going to make me rich or kill me kinda deal. For $2k it just seems silly.

/that much heroin is only worth a grand?
//not a drug connoisseur
///probably wouldn't know it if I saw it
 
2013-02-22 11:40:51 AM  

whyRpeoplesostupid: FTA: According to Coppola, Speight - who records indicated is a member of the Bloods street gang - had hidden 100 bags of heroin inside his anus, presumably to avoid them being found during the search of the car. The estimated street value of 100 bags of heroin is around $1,000 in New York City, and around twice that in upstate New York.


For (at most) $2K? No way


A lot less than that, because he didn't get the stuff for free.
 
2013-02-22 11:54:54 AM  
 
2013-02-22 12:13:10 PM  

ModernPrimitive01: When I read this I thought the guy was going for broke, like this is going to make me rich or kill me kinda deal. For $2k it just seems silly.

/that much heroin is only worth a grand?
//not a drug connoisseur
///probably wouldn't know it if I saw it


Given the street value estimate I'm going to assume that these "bags" of heroin were niftys. A nifty is 1/10th a gram, so he would have had around 10 grams in him, it doesn't sound like any extraordinary feat.

/when I was in Anchorage, AK in 2009 a nifty went for $40 a pop
 
2013-02-22 12:13:29 PM  

Farklee: I think someone's math is a little bit off in this story.


I'm getting $1,000 on the low end. A "pack" is $10 and it's usually in slips in paper (like Keno skips) but I guess if you want to waste plastic bags, go for it. Either way, no one is going to sell less than $10 for a pack/bag. So yeah...$10 a bag...100 bags...$1000
 
2013-02-22 12:14:07 PM  

megarian: Farklee: I think someone's math is a little bit off in this story.

I'm getting $1,000 on the low end. A "pack" is $10 and it's usually in slips in paper (like Keno skips) but I guess if you want to waste plastic bags, go for it. Either way, no one is going to sell less than $10 for a pack/bag. So yeah...$10 a bag...100 bags...$1000


*Keno slips.
 
2013-02-22 12:24:51 PM  

ModernPrimitive01: When I read this I thought the guy was going for broke, like this is going to make me rich or kill me kinda deal. For $2k it just seems silly.

/that much heroin is only worth a grand?
//not a drug connoisseur
///probably wouldn't know it if I saw it


It just sounds stupid. 100 baggies would explain the $1000 estimation if they're selling packs ($10). But it just sounds like a lot of trouble to go through for $1000. But I guess if you're feeding someone's habit $10 at a time, it adds up extremely fast.

Still...one hundred of anything in your butt should be more lucrative...amirite?!?
 
2013-02-22 12:25:14 PM  
100 bags up the ass?  That's nothing.  Politicians can fit their WHOLE HEAD!

www.whoateallthepies.tv
 
2013-02-22 12:27:00 PM  
This area of the body is known locally here (Kent England) as the "Chatham pocket"
The funniest content reported was Two mobile phones plus the charger ! (3 pin uk mains plug included)
 
2013-02-22 12:40:49 PM  

ModernPrimitive01: When I read this I thought the guy was going for broke, like this is going to make me rich or kill me kinda deal. For $2k it just seems silly.

/that much heroin is only worth a grand?
//not a drug connoisseur
///probably wouldn't know it if I saw it


Seriously. That's not nearly enough to make such discomfort worthwhile.

Also, I guess this means heroin is the only product in the known universe which is cheaper in NYC than upstate.
 
2013-02-22 12:42:39 PM  
That is a loaded ass
www.bates-communications.com
 
2013-02-22 12:54:08 PM  
Turns out the anus was remarkable!
 
2013-02-22 12:58:26 PM  
How is the passenger also charged with possession?  At some point did he say "dat ass is mine"?
 
2013-02-22 12:58:52 PM  

Buttle not Tuttle: Turns out the anus was remarkable!


New keyboard. Please.
 
2013-02-22 01:10:48 PM  

browneye: The first thing I thought of when I read the headline was last nights episode of Archer.

/I have no idea what that means.




Wow Archer made you think of man-ass, filled to the brim?

I think I'll pass.

/hope you don't get paid for that
 
2013-02-22 01:13:05 PM  
" when they stopped a 2005 Mitsubishi Lancer for having unclear license plates and an obstructed view "

Translation:  "When they stopped a 2005 Mitsubishi Lancer for containing a black and white man who looked like they might be the type to have records".
 
2013-02-22 01:16:55 PM  
unrealitymag.com
He deserves a watch.
 
2013-02-22 01:21:36 PM  

SlothB77: [blog.zap2it.com image 325x350]


The image library for that show is way too sparse for the needs of Farkers.

i887.photobucket.com
/+1 Internet for you anyway.
 
2013-02-22 01:24:53 PM  
Sew his ass shut with wire, and solder the knots. then put him on a slow boat home.
 
2013-02-22 01:37:26 PM  

karnal: Got Three Balloons
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccp9N2muyTE


Sad that this is way down here.  First thing I thought of.

Of course, this guy couldn't manage the Guatemalan child.
 
2013-02-22 01:49:30 PM  

GAT_00: karnal: Got Three Balloons
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccp9N2muyTE

Sad that this is way down here.  First thing I thought of.

Of course, this guy couldn't manage the Guatemalan child.


And a box of Chinese fireworks.
 
2013-02-22 01:51:51 PM  
it still doesnt beat the irish cocaine mule guy
http://www.nbcnews.com/id/44547891/
 
2013-02-22 01:58:19 PM  
[hello.jpg]
 
2013-02-22 02:11:13 PM  
I suppose you just got to believe in yourself.
 
2013-02-22 02:53:31 PM  

SlothB77: [blog.zap2it.com image 325x350]


I came here... blah blah... leaving satisfied
 
2013-02-22 03:04:42 PM  
 
2013-02-22 03:28:49 PM  

Fubegra: [hello.jpg]


This took way too long.How does Fark let that happen?
 
2013-02-22 03:32:30 PM  

offmymeds: The anus: Is there anything it can't do?


I hope I live to see a day when there will be nothing we can buy, use, see, hear, read, touch, wear, eat, drink, ingest or think that hasn't spent time up another person's poo hole. It's the last hope we have of bringing this tattered rag of chaos we call humanity back together. Short of fascism, that is, which has its difficulties.
 
2013-02-22 03:34:07 PM  

karnal: Got Three Balloons
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccp9N2muyTE


No, more like 99 Luft balloons...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9whehyybLqU
 
2013-02-22 03:56:34 PM  
I was perfectly happy breaking 5:00.
 
2013-02-22 04:26:02 PM  
what, no "Squidbillies" references?
 
2013-02-22 04:49:00 PM  
And know we know just what people mean by "a buttload of heroin."
 
2013-02-22 05:19:48 PM  
The last 5-10 are the hardest...
 
2013-02-22 05:54:19 PM  
 
2013-02-22 06:01:03 PM  

Fark Rye For Many Whores: That is a loaded ass
[www.bates-communications.com image 347x520]


ronerickeysmileymorningshow.files.wordpress.com
Approves.
 
2013-02-22 07:26:29 PM  
At first glance I thought the headline said someone had run a four-minute mile with 100 bags of heroin up their butt. Now THAT would be impressive.
 
2013-02-22 07:40:12 PM  

gameshowhost: AverageAmericanGuy: If you're going to smuggle heroin, it helps to look like this:

[image.shutterstock.com image 300x470]

Not like this:

[media.nj.com image 300x290]

Say, is that first image from Shutterstock?


What makes you think that?
 
2013-02-22 09:17:15 PM  

Elroydb: [25.media.tumblr.com image 460x276]

Ninety eight...ninety nine...von hundred! Von hundred bags of heroin stuffed up his ass!


I hate to admit it, but I came here to post this.

What the F is wrong with us?
 
2013-02-22 11:04:42 PM  

Keyser_Soze_Death: Came for FrankGallagher, a.k.a.El Gran Canon.

Leaving satisfied.


As was I.
 
2013-02-22 11:45:32 PM  
This is a tribute to the human spirit *wipes away tear*

www.presentoutlook.com
 
2013-02-23 02:37:30 AM  
Which one of you Libtard phuqers are going for 101?
 
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