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(Daily Mail)   Study reveals 1 in 12 parents will admit to having a child they love more than the rest, while 11 out of 12 parents lie through their teeth   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 148
    More: Obvious, Jeffrey Kluger  
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4236 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Feb 2013 at 7:00 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-22 11:49:25 AM  

natas6.0: foster kid
they ALL were liked better
but I am the only success
and my gal is a hotty


Was she homeschooled?
 
2013-02-22 11:50:40 AM  
My brother has always been the favorite of the family.  I don't have a clue why.  He dropped out of high school because he "had to be awake at night when all the action happens" in his computer game.  He flooded the house (fell asleep while he was filling the bathtub), caused tens of thousands of dollars in damage, and they just brushed it off.  He's 27 and has never worked a day in his life.  His entire existence is waking up, playing on the computer, and going back to sleep.  He has no mental or physical illnesses.  They just want to make sure he's happy.

I was the first in my family tree to go to college, let alone graduate.  I was forced to start working at 13 to pay for my clothes and food and whatnot.  Worked continuously until I was 27, when I was diagnosed with multiple severe and life-threatening illnesses.  Since I was constantly in and out of the hospital, I couldn't work.  I escaped the grim reaper, but I'm still extremely ill.  My brain keeps trying, but my body holds me back.

But yeah, I can never please my parents.  My best isn't good enough.  Hell, just this morning, my father exploded at me because the plumbing in the house is bad.  Huh?  I never recalled building the house or taking plumbing courses.  But I'm the scapegoat that will forever be in my lazy brother's shadow.

/no, I'm not bitter.  At all.
 
2013-02-22 11:55:18 AM  

GregInIndy: We have two kids, but they're still too new (3.5 and 11 months) to pick a side.  :)

Not quite Irish twins, but close enough.


Haha!  3.5 YEARS and 11 months.  No Irish twins around here.
 
2013-02-22 11:55:27 AM  
My sister was always my mother's favorite and I never understood why.  I finally figured out it is because I don't put up with any of my mother's narcissistic BS.  My sister does and my mother feeds off that attention.  My sister lives about 45 minutes away from me and we see each other often, my mother lives about an hour and a half away and I see her maybe twice a year.  My father lives 1200 miles away and I see him more often than I see my mom.

I did blame her for making my life miserable for a few years, mostly because I felt like I owed her something because she was my mom.  I attended every family gathering and let her walk all over me.  Now I realize that I have a choice as to whether to participate in her life.  When I do see her, it is on my terms, not hers.  She is done emotionally blackmailing me.
 
2013-02-22 12:14:48 PM  
i.qkme.me
 
2013-02-22 12:30:24 PM  

libranoelrose: cats are so much easier to keep track of.


My wife and I don't like children, and yes, we have cats.

Amusingly, my wife has a favorite cat who she clearly loves more than the other one. I pick up the slack though.
 
2013-02-22 12:33:30 PM  
My dad's side has very clear unfavorites based on who puts up with his shiat or my crazy!grandma's. Naturally, we kids have a favorite side of the family, and it ain't his.
 
2013-02-22 12:37:58 PM  
Advantage #450,867,331,284 of having been an only child.
 
2013-02-22 12:40:45 PM  

Civchic: GregInIndy: We have two kids, but they're still too new (3.5 and 11 months) to pick a side.  :)

Not quite Irish twins, but close enough.

Haha!  3.5 YEARS and 11 months.  No Irish twins around here.


I have irish triplets, ages 5,4,3
 
2013-02-22 12:43:17 PM  

padraig: TNel: SquiggsIN: In my family, the youngest kid never did anything wrong.  Seriously, it didn't matter what she did, one of us got blamed for it.  To this day my father will drive 6 hours out of state to see her and her family but won't bother driving a half an hour to see the rest of us within a county of him.

Maybe because you are only a half hour away and don't visit?  I always love when people like that complain.  "You never come and see me and I am so close"... well why don't you go over there?  Does the youngest have kids?  I know putting the kids into a car for a 6 hour drive would be murder for me to do and I would never wish that on anyone.

You know, sometimes, parents DO favor the last one for no reason at all. I've seen it happen, several times, parents who lavish the last id with gifts and praises that are never deserved.
It happens. People are not always rational.


My Mom lavished attention on the youngest as well, he's definitely her favorite. He's a cocky smartass but he isn't horrible (I really can't complain).

I think youngest tend to get spoiled because they are the last kid:

-Parents are older and more comfortable with child rearing having "experimented" on older kids.
-They tend to have more money so they can afford extra toys, etc for youngest kid.
-They get lavished with more attention because there's no other baby and by older siblings.

Oldest also tend to get a boost because they are first, they were the only child for a while so we got more initial attention.

Poor middles get nothing.

/Oldest of 4, only girl
//Currently both Parent's favorite because I'm not a screw-up! :)
 
2013-02-22 12:44:48 PM  

TNel: Civchic: GregInIndy: We have two kids, but they're still too new (3.5 and 11 months) to pick a side.  :)

Not quite Irish twins, but close enough.

Haha!  3.5 YEARS and 11 months.  No Irish twins around here.

I have irish triplets, ages 5,4,3...



Not sure what happened to the rest and I do have 1 that I favor the most but you will always favor one over the rest and they are usually the ones that are either more like you or the ones that help out the most.  Darn boys are driving me nuts right now though.
 
2013-02-22 12:46:36 PM  

Jim from Saint Paul: EvilEgg: "Love" more, no I don't think so. "Like" more, yes absolutely.

Done in one.


This.
 
2013-02-22 12:50:43 PM  

DanInKansas: Another good reason to stop at two kids. When you have two, they take turns being your favorite. Also, you love them both and can spend enough time to really get to know them.

Families with 6 or 8 kids -- there's never enough time in the day, and one of those little farkers will make sure to stay in the limelight. Another one will be sure to get pissed off and get attention by being a jackass.


I have four kids- it is really not so bad. I make time for all of them. They are all so much fun! I love going shopping and baking with my daughter. She wants to be a baker. My oldest son is geeky but is also very athletic. My second son is a handful but is great to talk to, the baby is independent and quiet. I spend time with each individually on a daily basis.

My husband loves the second son the most and everyone knows it. I can tell it breaks my older son's heart. Maybe that is why he sacrifices so much and works so hard to be the best athlete. He gets plenty of support from the rest of his family.

My parents didn't have favorites (I guess I was my Daddy's princess because I was the only girl) but my grandmothers' did. They loved my other female cousins and were disappointed in me because I didn't like cheerleading, was not popular and was not as pretty as the others YMMV (though what is weird I favored both grandmothers in looks more than the other cousins, I once dressed in a tennis outfit similar to my grandmother and grandfather swore I looked like my grandmother when she was my age)
 
2013-02-22 01:06:12 PM  

Carousel Beast: Earpj: Carousel Beast:
What a colossally stupid statement; that's probably one of the dumbest things I've ever seen written on the Internet. Congratulations.

Thanks.

Anytime. It's always interesting to see a superlative in action, whether on the good or bad side.

That was seriously dumb, though. It had to be one of those off-the-cuff comments on something you've never thought about before, or one of the most carefully considered trolling comments of all time.

The entire point of any species is propogation. The only reason to have kids is to subsequently have grandchildren; anything else is superfluous.


Wow. What a staggeringly, colossally, hugemongously moronic statement.
 
2013-02-22 01:09:13 PM  
I treat them the same.
One gets the back of my left hand, the other gets the back of my right hand.
 
2013-02-22 01:10:41 PM  

Nutsac_Jim: I treat them the same.
One gets the back of my left hand, the other gets the back of my right hand.


Then you don't treat them the same, the back of your dominate hand would have a harder swing so you really do perfer one over the other.
 
2013-02-22 01:18:13 PM  

TNel: Nutsac_Jim: I treat them the same.
One gets the back of my left hand, the other gets the back of my right hand.

Then you don't treat them the same, the back of your dominate hand would have a harder swing so you really do perfer one over the other.


That's not necessarily true; my left side is stronger than my right, and I'm primarily right-handed. My left is my "biatch-arm" because it does all the heavy lifting/carrying, whereas my right does more of the finesse work.
 
2013-02-22 01:22:45 PM  
My middle sister is mom's favorite. I'm not surprised, she did everything that mom approves of.

-found a rich guy to marry.
-goes to a Christian church despite not believing in most of their stuff or understanding the theology.
-likes reality TV and football.
-will probably give her grandchildren.

No thanks, I'd rather be awesome.
 
2013-02-22 01:25:26 PM  
My daughter loves every moment of life.  Every new experience, both good and bad, is a treasured instance for her.  She literally hops with energy and excitement all the time.  She's bright and loves school.  Pretty much everyone she meets is smiling within 30 seconds of meeting her.  She trusts everyone she meets.

Her brother broods.  He's usually overly serious and cautious and it's difficult for him to not see the faults in almost everything he witnesses.  He and I understand the world in the exact same way.  We have the same interests and strategic minds.

I can honestly say I do not favor either one of them.   I would never choose to spend more time with one than the other one.  I don't punish either one of them more for misbehavior -- nor do I reward one more than the other.

I do admit that I worry about them.  I worry because I want my son to smile more and I want my daughter to be more cautious in the world.  But they are who they are, and I love them both equally.
 
2013-02-22 01:39:13 PM  
I have a total of six siblings all from my late parent's previous marriage, and I was their favorite. I was my mom's favorite because I wasn't an actively dangerous sociopath like her other two kids and I was my dad's favorite because I'm not a heartless, thoughtless clod like his other 4 kids. If I still talked to my alleged siblings I would tell them this on a regular basis.

/I don't just have family issues, I have great leather-bound volumes piled to the ceiling in a library of sibling rivalry.
//So I just ignore them and hang out with nice people.
 
2013-02-22 01:41:19 PM  
I know I'm not my Mom's favorite, but I'm pretty sure I'm my Dad's. And that makes it okay.
 
2013-02-22 01:42:02 PM  
I only have one child. I love my child, and I love my dog.  If I could only save one of them from drowning, I'd save my son.  But it would be a lot easier to save the dog.
 
2013-02-22 02:16:57 PM  

Thunderpipes: Insurgent: Thunderpipes: Lipspinach: My parents favoured my older brother and now
I am a 50 year old, unemployed alcoholic mess.

My girlfriend is a hell of a lot hotter than his wife though.
Although his wife is an heir to a fortune.

He wins I guess.

My parents sucked.

Maybe there was a reason for their favoritism. Ever think of that?

i dunno if thunderpipe's parents are alive or not, but i would imagine they would be embarrassed by his internet behavior.

thunderpipe's mom could have aborted him. and then we wouldn't have to read his awful posts. ever think of that?

My parents are proud. I have a good job, can think for myself, and am not a moron liberal who wants to sit around and get free stuff.

Think about it. Almost every Farker has a sob story about the parents who didn't love them and how they are sad and mentally handicapped because of it. Your tears bring my joy.


Yes, I can see how they would be proud...
 
2013-02-22 02:18:11 PM  

HotIgneous Intruder: Civchic: We have two kids, but they're still too new (3.5 and 11 months) to pick a side.  :)

You're on zone defense now. Enjoy!


Nope, you are still using man-to-man with two kids, with three or more, you switch to zone.


I have five kids, and Mrs. Engineer and I use a zone defense, with the family dog serving as the free safety.Unfortunately, we have tie a steak to one or two of our kids to make it work.
 
2013-02-22 02:18:28 PM  

SpiderQueenDemon: I know I'm not my Mom's favorite, but I'm pretty sure I'm my Dad's. And that makes it okay.


Daddy says I'm the best

starsmedia.ign.com
 
2013-02-22 02:18:45 PM  
I have two boys. One is much more difficult to deal with than the other, relatively speaking. The more difficult one causes me much more anxiety and stress. But let us not confuse strife and frustration with less love. I would do anything equally for them, including horrible death if needed, because I love them both dearly.
 
2013-02-22 02:24:40 PM  
namegoeshere
was she homeschooled?

you...yes you
are magnificent
 
2013-02-22 02:31:47 PM  
Ray Rossi has more talent in his pinky toe than Dominski and Doyle do in their entire bodies.

/Hi guys

//They are referring to this thread/article on the air.
 
2013-02-22 02:36:20 PM  
Dad of 4 here. Girl/boy/girl/boy.

Eldest daughter is The Sensible. Kinda greedy, too.
Eldest son is a dreamer. Loves Star Wars and Doctor Who like me.
Youngest daughter is a handful. Very loud, does not control emotions well. Does things older 2 would never have thought of doing.
Youngest son is also loud, turning out more like youngest daughter than oldest 2.

I love them all, equally.
 
2013-02-22 02:39:28 PM  

m1ke: [i.qkme.me image 625x383]


We loved Lindsay just as much as any of you normal kids...more than Gob!
 
2013-02-22 02:58:31 PM  

MurphyMurphy: As the favored child out of 3 I feel I'm going to let you slighted others in on a little secret.

The reason your parents never loved you more was because you were a constant disappointment.


Eh, my older brother is an abject failure, and my father has told me many times that he has a lot more faith in my ability to do pretty much anything than he has in my brother.

Yet he is the clear favourite for no discernible reason.
 
2013-02-22 03:43:23 PM  

LavenderWolf: Eh, my older brother is an abject failure, and my father has told me many times that he has a lot more faith in my ability to do pretty much anything than he has in my brother.

Yet he is the clear favourite for no discernible reason.


My Dad has a brother.  He's 50, he lives at home with my 70+ year old grandparents, a barely functioning alcoholic with two juvenile delinquent children living on welfare, one with a baby of his own (he's 18).  My Dad is 57, raised three mostly functional, mostly successful adults, happily married, planning his retirement, owns his house outright...and his brother is quite clearly (even to us grandkids) the favourite.  My Dad and his progeny (us) may as well not exist.
 
2013-02-22 04:21:30 PM  
Only child.  So I was the favorite....but I am relieved to be an only because I know if I'd had sibs, that I would lose that status with my mom.

/She wanted a cheerleader daughter (I'm the scientist) or a boy...she never understood me
//Only grandchild on my dad's side, which makes up for the fact that my other grandmother flat out told my parents that she loved me less than her other grandchildren, because I "didn't need it as much"
 
2013-02-22 04:35:19 PM  
img.photobucket.com
Obviously, the parents loved the one with the wristwatch more.
 
2013-02-22 04:44:07 PM  

TNel: Civchic: GregInIndy: We have two kids, but they're still too new (3.5 and 11 months) to pick a side.  :)

Not quite Irish twins, but close enough.

Haha!  3.5 YEARS and 11 months.  No Irish twins around here.

I have irish triplets, ages 5,4,3


I have a friend with stairsteps just like that. Their birthdays are all within two weeks. She announced pregnancy #4 by yelling out of the bathroom, "GODDAMMIT I AM NEVER DRINKING ON NEW YEARS EVE AGAIN!!"
 
2013-02-22 04:44:25 PM  
Man people are obsessed with quantifying love.  It doesn't really work that way, I think it's more binary.  I love my wife, I love both of my kids.  I don't have less love left for my wife now that I have kids to love, there isn't a finite amount.  I don't love my older kid less now that I have a younger one.
 
2013-02-22 05:05:49 PM  

ninotchka: DanInKansas: Another good reason to stop at two kids. When you have two, they take turns being your favorite. Also, you love them both and can spend enough time to really get to know them.

Families with 6 or 8 kids -- there's never enough time in the day, and one of those little farkers will make sure to stay in the limelight. Another one will be sure to get pissed off and get attention by being a jackass.

I have four kids- it is really not so bad. I make time for all of them. They are all so much fun! I love going shopping and baking with my daughter. She wants to be a baker. My oldest son is geeky but is also very athletic. My second son is a handful but is great to talk to, the baby is independent and quiet. I spend time with each individually on a daily basis.

My husband loves the second son the most and everyone knows it. I can tell it breaks my older son's heart. Maybe that is why he sacrifices so much and works so hard to be the best athlete. He gets plenty of support from the rest of his family.

My parents didn't have favorites (I guess I was my Daddy's princess because I was the only girl) but my grandmothers' did. They loved my other female cousins and were disappointed in me because I didn't like cheerleading, was not popular and was not as pretty as the others YMMV (though what is weird I favored both grandmothers in looks more than the other cousins, I once dressed in a tennis outfit similar to my grandmother and grandfather swore I looked like my grandmother when she was my age)


I have six. I'd say just quickly that two are not very emotionally available, two are kinda into their own thing but easy to get along with, two are sort of gregarious and enjoy making good times for everyone. Three are super smart, two are clever, one is, well, very sweet and charming and earnest. He's the only one who isn't pretty wrapped up in music, but he's the most into baseball, which we all really like. I mean, the point is, I could just divide em up a bunch of different ways, but my heart just bursts thinking of any one of them at any one time.

I've dedicated myself to time with them individually, in various groupings, and all together, doing different things at different stages. I haven't always gotten it right, but they know I've always tried. Three are grown up and far away now (we moved, they stayed,) and that's not easy. I love that, together or separate, we are a family, alike and different, with our own bits of code and inside jokes. I hope some of them will remain close to others of them as they age.

Quantifying my love for them? Not relevant, not possible.
 
2013-02-22 05:43:55 PM  
My Mom loves my brother more.  My brother is a male, I am a female, and my Mom is Asian.

It's okay though. Through all of my years of trying to do my best to impress my Mom, I became a pretty functional adult. Good school, good job, no serious lapses of judgement, etc.

...but I clearly fail at life according to her because I haven't married and given her grand-babies yet.
I farking hate kids.
 
2013-02-22 06:05:36 PM  
I know I was the practice kid. They tweaked what they learned from raising me and applied it to my sister!
 
2013-02-22 06:28:29 PM  

Blink: My daughter loves every moment of life.  Every new experience, both good and bad, is a treasured instance for her.  She literally hops with energy and excitement all the time.  She's bright and loves school.  Pretty much everyone she meets is smiling within 30 seconds of meeting her.  She trusts everyone she meets.

Her brother broods.  He's usually overly serious and cautious and it's difficult for him to not see the faults in almost everything he witnesses.  He and I understand the world in the exact same way.  We have the same interests and strategic minds.

I can honestly say I do not favor either one of them.   I would never choose to spend more time with one than the other one.  I don't punish either one of them more for misbehavior -- nor do I reward one more than the other.

I do admit that I worry about them.  I worry because I want my son to smile more and I want my daughter to be more cautious in the world.  But they are who they are, and I love them both equally.


you sound like a good parent.
 
2013-02-22 08:21:32 PM  

Crackers Are a Family Food: But yeah, I can never please my parents.  My best isn't good enough.  Hell, just this morning, my father exploded at me because the plumbing in the house is bad.  Huh?  I never recalled building the house or taking plumbing courses.  But I'm the scapegoat that will forever be in my lazy brother's shadow.


There's really only one solution.

You have to burn the house down.
 
2013-02-22 08:25:14 PM  

internetuser1080: I do admit that I worry about them.  I worry because I want my son to smile more and I want my daughter to be more cautious in the world.  But they are who they are, and I love them both equally.

you sound like a good parent.


This!
 
2013-02-22 10:03:54 PM  
#1 Son I love you best. Your were the child of our youth. You slept in the stroller for 2 weeks until we could afford a crib. You were the first to do everything and suffered through our first attempts at being parents. And yet somehow you turned out awesome. Everyone loves you and you were the kid who celebrated your 18th bday by going skydiving.
#2 Son I love you best. You made us feel like perfect parents. You were sweet, happy, easy and never sweated the small stuff, but understood when to stand your ground. You never complained that everything you owned was a hand me down. You were the kid who commuted to state college and graduated Sigma Cum Laude and married his first girlfriend.
#1 Daughter I love you best. You gave your brothers holy hell and taught your Dad and I humility. You were the kid who led a protest to the principal's office when you thought a friend was being wronged. You were the first girl and so glorious. You are still fighting for the rights of the downtrodden.
#2 Daughter I love you best. You are the caboose baby. The child of our middle age and yet you keep us young. You are the one who tells us we are keeping you up too late on a school night. You got everything newer and younger than your siblings yet you are sensible and grounded.

I love all my children differently but yet somehow equally.
 
2013-02-22 11:20:55 PM  
Can't speak for the wife, but I really don't have a favorite. I love them all equally.
 
2013-02-23 02:09:42 AM  

EvilEgg: "Love" more, no I don't think so. "Like" more, yes absolutely.


Another Pretentious Nickname: Man people are obsessed with quantifying love.  It doesn't really work that way, I think it's more binary.  I love my wife, I love both of my kids.  I don't have less love left for my wife now that I have kids to love, there isn't a finite amount.  I don't love my older kid less now that I have a younger one.


I think these two comments sum up what true parents should feel
I have a daughter and a son, so the difference is easier to handle.
Many of my friends have had multiples of the same gender, that seems harder.
But to sum up what I think both are saying ...

Love should be absolute to your child, not comparative. Liking a child is not constant, sometimes they can piss me off no end, but that changes as soon as they stop pissing me off.
 
2013-02-23 02:13:40 AM  

Snaptastic: My brother is a male


redundancy is redundant

Snaptastic: my Mom is Asian


also somewhat redundant

// having said that, Im in Beijing right now and I spent last night celebrating my god daughter's first birthday. Her parents do seem to be unique in asian culture though
/ sexism is only second to racism in asian cultures
 
2013-02-23 05:25:36 AM  
if i was a child, i don't know if i'd WANT to be loved.  wouldn't my asshole hurt
 
2013-02-23 01:54:01 PM  

Insurgent: thunderpipe's mom could have aborted him. and then we wouldn't have to read his awful posts. ever think of that?


Not really. The Law of the Conservation of Internet Trolling means that for every aborted troll another would have been born or created in his place. Much like for every dead or banned troll more sign up to keep the level of trolling constant from day to day.
 
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