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(Daily Mail)   Study reveals 1 in 12 parents will admit to having a child they love more than the rest, while 11 out of 12 parents lie through their teeth   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 148
    More: Obvious, Jeffrey Kluger  
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4235 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Feb 2013 at 7:00 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



148 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-02-22 06:45:39 AM  
"Love" more, no I don't think so. "Like" more, yes absolutely.
 
2013-02-22 07:05:31 AM  
Or 11/12 kinda hope they all die in an accident, that their spouse caused and s/he goes with them.
 
2013-02-22 07:06:11 AM  
cats are so much easier to keep track of.
 
2013-02-22 07:07:39 AM  
huh
 
2013-02-22 07:07:56 AM  
There would have to be a fight to the end for me to choose. But already know which one it would be
 
2013-02-22 07:10:27 AM  
My parents favoured my older brother and now
I am a 50 year old, unemployed alcoholic mess.

My girlfriend is a hell of a lot hotter than his wife though.
Although his wife is an heir to a fortune.

He wins I guess.

My parents sucked.
 
2013-02-22 07:10:49 AM  
Don't tell your siblings but you're my favorite.
 
2013-02-22 07:15:13 AM  
Done in one.
 
2013-02-22 07:18:39 AM  
I only have one.  She has to compete with our dogs.
 
2013-02-22 07:19:34 AM  
They ask which one I like more. I tell them I dislike them both equally.

/DA-AAAAAAD!
 
2013-02-22 07:26:55 AM  
As the favored child out of 3 I feel I'm going to let you slighted others in on a little secret.

The reason your parents never loved you more was because you were a constant disappointment.
 
2013-02-22 07:27:06 AM  
I think that each of my kids have things that I like better. One is better at sports than the others. One is funnier. One is more academic. Things like that.
 
2013-02-22 07:34:16 AM  

SquiggsIN: In my family, the youngest kid never did anything wrong.  Seriously, it didn't matter what she did, one of us got blamed for it.  To this day my father will drive 6 hours out of state to see her and her family but won't bother driving a half an hour to see the rest of us within a county of him.


maybe you don't seem like you need the help as much as your siblings?
 
2013-02-22 07:36:11 AM  
SquiggsIN:
I was the smart kid but, I didn't have children so that's a drawback to potential grandparents.

If one only has children b/c of potential grandchilden? That's doing it wrong.

My smarter one probably won't have children. She's full on Nerd Girl. She's good enough on her own. I don't require her to produce offspring for me to enjoy her company.
 
2013-02-22 07:38:08 AM  

Lipspinach: My parents favoured my older brother and now
I am a 50 year old, unemployed alcoholic mess.

My girlfriend is a hell of a lot hotter than his wife though.
Although his wife is an heir to a fortune.

He wins I guess.

My parents sucked.


Maybe there was a reason for their favoritism. Ever think of that?
 
2013-02-22 07:41:01 AM  
I don't love one kid more than the other, but I do have more in common with my son. My daughter is all frilly and pink and obsessed with dolls and hair and pretty things. The child practically bleeds glitter. My son is my little scientist, he loves math and computers and reading. The biggest treat I can give him is to bring him to my university classes where he looks at my profs the way some kids do their sports heroes. Neither is my favourite, but I definitely find it easier to connect with my son and have to put in a lot of effort to share interests with my daughter.
 
2013-02-22 07:47:12 AM  
I'll always think I'm my dad's favorite.  He told me once that he always loved how he could pick on me and I'd just give him shiat right back and that he'd tell me what to do about something and that I'd nod quite respectfully and then go and do exactly what I wanted to do in the first place.  He said he couldn't do that with my siblings because they're too sensitive.

The boy was mom's favorite though.  Oh god how she wanted a boy.
 
2013-02-22 07:50:02 AM  
 
2013-02-22 07:53:24 AM  
I love all my kids 100% equally. However love is one thing, having a favorite is completely different, and there is nothing wrong with having a favorite child either.
 
2013-02-22 07:55:06 AM  

libranoelrose: SquiggsIN: In my family, the youngest kid never did anything wrong.  Seriously, it didn't matter what she did, one of us got blamed for it.  To this day my father will drive 6 hours out of state to see her and her family but won't bother driving a half an hour to see the rest of us within a county of him.

maybe you don't seem like you need the help as much as your siblings?


Award for the nicest and probably most accurate reply of day. Take it to heart no matter how difficult it may be to swallow.
 
2013-02-22 07:58:15 AM  
I wouldn't say loved less, just disappointed more.
 
2013-02-22 08:00:53 AM  
Stupid babies need the most love.
 
2013-02-22 08:02:16 AM  

Thunderpipes: Lipspinach: My parents favoured my older brother and now
I am a 50 year old, unemployed alcoholic mess.

My girlfriend is a hell of a lot hotter than his wife though.
Although his wife is an heir to a fortune.

He wins I guess.

My parents sucked.

Maybe there was a reason for their favoritism. Ever think of that?


Yeah, I may have given it some thought at 1 point but I really couldn't care less about it & never have.
The headline just made me think about it for a second so I figured I'd post something.
I haven't talked to my parents for a looooong time, my bro however phoned me yesterday & is going to fly me out to Las Vegas to hang out for a week in April. I harbour no ill will towards my parents, I just don't really care for them.
 
2013-02-22 08:02:36 AM  

Yeeeeah, my mother never made a secret of how much of a disappointment I was to her and how much she favored my sister over me.  She and my sister would go drink wine and go to country music concerts and get makeovers together, whereas I had no interest in that stuff and spent my time reading science books and working on the computer.

It was her constant disappointment that encouraged me to actively seek a better career so that I could get out of her house and sustain myself without relying on her for anything anymore.

I'm now a successful engineer, and now that I'm gone she's suddenly realized how much she relied on her "failure" kid to do all the mundane home upkeep that she couldn't be assed to do herself.  She still calls me occasionally to come use my "engineer-y" skills to change a lightbulb for her.

/"failure" meaning I wasted money on college getting a BS rather than an MRS.

 
2013-02-22 08:02:47 AM  
I like beer and I like pizza.  I like a cold beer after mowing the lawn and pizza makes a great meal after a long week and the two go together.  I have a son and a daughter, they go together but are different enough that you don't pick one over the other.
 
2013-02-22 08:05:18 AM  
It varies. Which one just woke me up at 3am?
 
2013-02-22 08:07:40 AM  
I have a few nieces (no kids) but I can say I luv them all absolutely ... BUT at this mo I definitely prefer to spend time with any but the oldest.

This will change ... the eldest is going through certain growing pains which thankfully (as an uncle) I do not have to get fully involved with.
 
2013-02-22 08:07:58 AM  
i367.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-22 08:08:55 AM  

Thunderpipes: Lipspinach: My parents favoured my older brother and now
I am a 50 year old, unemployed alcoholic mess.

My girlfriend is a hell of a lot hotter than his wife though.
Although his wife is an heir to a fortune.

He wins I guess.

My parents sucked.

Maybe there was a reason for their favoritism. Ever think of that?


i dunno if thunderpipe's parents are alive or not, but i would imagine they would be embarrassed by his internet behavior.

thunderpipe's mom could have aborted him. and then we wouldn't have to read his awful posts. ever think of that?
 
2013-02-22 08:10:23 AM  
after seeing how my friends fifth kid turned out,-she mostly raised herself, we followed the ideals of the worthless rich.  "Put all your eggs in one basket - and watch that basket."  We had one.
We might be po white trash but she's doin' okay.
 
2013-02-22 08:11:12 AM  

SquiggsIN: In my family, the youngest kid never did anything wrong.  Seriously, it didn't matter what she did, one of us got blamed for it.  To this day my father will drive 6 hours out of state to see her and her family but won't bother driving a half an hour to see the rest of us within a county of him.


Maybe because you are only a half hour away and don't visit?  I always love when people like that complain.  "You never come and see me and I am so close"... well why don't you go over there?  Does the youngest have kids?  I know putting the kids into a car for a 6 hour drive would be murder for me to do and I would never wish that on anyone.
 
2013-02-22 08:13:25 AM  
I'm obviously the favorite of both my parents. My grandpa I was his favorite, and my aunt/uncles. I'm pretty sure my grandmother favors my cousin in Arizona, but for the rest of them I'm not sure why I'm the favored one. Probably because I wasn't a problem child.
 
2013-02-22 08:14:18 AM  
this topic is sure to bring on the deep seated issues.
I have only 1 child, she is my favorite.
 
2013-02-22 08:15:14 AM  
Grew up with 3 sisters, I was the only son. To this day I don't think that any of us feel that our parents had a favorite, nothing in the way they behaved towards us then and now would indicate that. Perhaps they did, but they never behaved that way. I now have two daughters, and while my feelings for each of them changes from day to day and moves up and down as they move deeper into moody teenagehood, I couldn't say that one was my favorite as I love them both a lot. As much as I love them, they can be real assholes sometimes, as Louis CK can attest.
 
2013-02-22 08:16:23 AM  
This is one of the reasons why Mrs_Fab and I had only one kid. It's easy to look like an awesome parent when you have her outnumbered.

/btw, I like that pizza/beer analogy
 
2013-02-22 08:17:59 AM  

Earpj: I think that each of my kids have things that I like better. One is better at sports than the others. One is funnier. One is more academic. Things like that.


Yeah, but admit it, you have one you love more than the others.

My mom favors ,my brother over me, while my dad favors me over my brother. They make no bones about it.
 
2013-02-22 08:19:58 AM  
Well, I have to say that I wasn't like my siblings and they hated me for it, and did a lot of bad things to get me in trouble, etc.  They always said that I was the favourite and it pissed them off to no end, and they all ended up with "daddy and mommy issues",

When I talked to my dad a few years ago (before he died), he admitted that yes, I was the favourite for a good reason.  Turns out it was because I was not an asshole like the other kids were.

My own kids.. love them all equally, they each have their places, they all piss me off tremendously at times, and they make me smile in others.

There are days that wouldn't want my life without them... other days, let's say not as much.
 
2013-02-22 08:22:46 AM  
KingKauff:
Yeah, but admit it, you have one you love more than the others.

My mom favors ,my brother over me, while my dad favors me over my brother. They make no bones about it.


Hmm..I don't think so.
I know Christopher prefers Porter, but...they all have something that's better than the others.
 
2013-02-22 08:24:16 AM  

TNel: SquiggsIN: In my family, the youngest kid never did anything wrong.  Seriously, it didn't matter what she did, one of us got blamed for it.  To this day my father will drive 6 hours out of state to see her and her family but won't bother driving a half an hour to see the rest of us within a county of him.

Maybe because you are only a half hour away and don't visit?  I always love when people like that complain.  "You never come and see me and I am so close"... well why don't you go over there?  Does the youngest have kids?  I know putting the kids into a car for a 6 hour drive would be murder for me to do and I would never wish that on anyone.


You know, sometimes, parents DO favor the last one for no reason at all. I've seen it happen, several times, parents who lavish the last id with gifts and praises that are never deserved.
It happens. People are not always rational.
 
2013-02-22 08:24:26 AM  
True subby. So damn true. My oldest son is 23 and I've never connected with him. I love him, because he's my son, but I never really liked him. It's a sh*t thing to admit, but there it is.
 
2013-02-22 08:31:20 AM  

indarwinsshadow: True subby. So damn true. My oldest son is 23 and I've never connected with him. I love him, because he's my son, but I never really liked him. It's a sh*t thing to admit, but there it is.


I like to think my business-like attitude towards my son makes up for the spoiling his mother is doing. Meanwhile, I'm completely dumbstruck by how much prettier and smarter than him his baby sister is.
 
2013-02-22 08:38:03 AM  
I can honestly say I dislike all my children equally.
 
2013-02-22 08:40:48 AM  
My grandma loved my Uncle Carl the most out of her three kids. And sadly we buried him yesterday. Pancreatic cancer is a biatch.
 
2013-02-22 08:41:15 AM  
There's a third option: get other ones. My parents have two adopted sons. Their biologicals ones left home. I did it when I was 18 because it felt right and all we were doing was fighting. I've since had long conversations with my mother, mostly about my dumbass brother, but otherwise apologizing for being a teenager and trying to workout my mortgage. I don't visit much because I can't get away from work. He keeps coming back and letting his girlfriend try to take the whole place over even though her family is rich and she's an attention whore and neither of them can hold a job.

My adopted brothers, however, look eeriely like us (though I've begged my mother to get rid of that picture) and have similiar problems (and are biologically brothers and the older one knows that. I don't think either of them know their biological mother is really messed up) scolastically. The younger one hasn't diliberately given himself a concussion to impress the older one's friends yet.
 
2013-02-22 08:41:33 AM  

Lipspinach


My parents favoured my older brother and now
I am a 50 year old, unemployed alcoholic mess.

My girlfriend is a hell of a lot hotter than his wife though.
Although his wife is an heir to a fortune.

He wins I guess.

My parents sucked.


At what point should you have stopped blaming your parents for your craptacular life and started blaming yourself?

I'm guessing it was somewhere in the mid-to-late twenties, and certainly no later than age thirty.
 
2013-02-22 08:42:25 AM  
static.musictoday.com
 
2013-02-22 08:43:11 AM  

EvilEgg: "Love" more, no I don't think so. "Like" more, yes absolutely.


Done in one.
 
2013-02-22 08:47:01 AM  
The weird thing is often which kid the parents end up favoring. It seems that when faced with a kid who is smart, hard working, on the school sports teams and stays out of trouble and their lazy sibling who has shiat for brains and is always getting into trouble an inordinate number of parents pick the lil' bastard and then go out of their way to make things harder on the good kid.

Even years later when the favored kid has grown up and is an unemployed drunk living in their basement.

I don't get it.
 
2013-02-22 08:49:21 AM  
My mother was a mean, lying, narcissistic b*tch who never pieced together why I moved 800 miles away from her the day I turned eighteen (and limited my visits "home" to once or twice a year). She once told me that her biggest regret in life was that she'd spoiled me so badly, because it made me turn out selfish.

She's dead now. I miss her sometimes, but not very often.
 
2013-02-22 08:52:38 AM  

The Evil That Lies In The Hearts Of Men: The weird thing is often which kid the parents end up favoring. It seems that when faced with a kid who is smart, hard working, on the school sports teams and stays out of trouble and their lazy sibling who has shiat for brains and is always getting into trouble an inordinate number of parents pick the lil' bastard and then go out of their way to make things harder on the good kid.

Even years later when the favored kid has grown up and is an unemployed drunk living in their basement.

I don't get it.


That's an easy one. The kid in the basement didn't "get the big head" and start thinking he was better'n evverone.

Lots of parents don't like it when their kids turn out smart, talented, or successful, you see. It threatens them.
 
2013-02-22 08:52:43 AM  

Lipspinach: My parents favoured my older brother and now
I am a 50 year old, unemployed alcoholic mess.

My girlfriend is a hell of a lot hotter than his wife though.
Although his wife is an heir to a fortune.

He wins I guess.

My parents sucked.


Dear God, Man.  You're 50.  Take responsibility for the outcome of your own life.  Your mommy & daddy didn't make you an alcoholic mess, and it's not on them to fix it.  You worked hard to create your crap life yourself.
 
2013-02-22 08:53:25 AM  

Earpj: I think that each of my kids have things that I like better. One is better at sports than the others. One is funnier. One is more academic. Things like that.


Then you have a kid like me that is better at all three.  My childhood was a lot tougher because my dad passed away when I was 11 and my siblings were pretty much grown, but I developed a much more outgoing personality and a way broader perspective on things.   I am very good at listening and being positive and just more fun to be around.  I'm the ray of sunshine.  My mom treats all of us the same though.
 
2013-02-22 08:55:29 AM  
My four year old daughter watches all the Marvel and DC cartoons and movies with me because she loves superheroes. She also likes Star Wars. My 1 year old daughter comes running when she hears the DS9 theme and watches it with me. How the hell am I supposed to pick a favorite?
 
2013-02-22 08:58:19 AM  
My oldest brother, as the First Born Male, was automatically the Number One Son (no kiddding - they called him that openly) and therefore the favorite. He was the main focus of the attention and resources. His sports, activities, and camps came first. He was NOT an easy kid, either. My youngest brother (large age gap) is disabled and therefore needed a ton of attention, although he was very difficult (not his fault, circumstances) I was the middle child, the only girl, and very easygoing. And therefore, often overlooked. I always knew I came in second (and then third). If there was a fundraiser at our school, they would blatantly give him the largest order, and give me a small token order just so I'd have something to turn in. If we both played a sport, his games, practices, etc were the priority. I always felt like an afterthought.

Because of this, I am always really careful to make sure to spread the attention and resources evenly between my two. I am obsessive that Christmas  and birthday presents are dead equal. They both get the same number of camps and activities, etc. Fortuately, there is enough of an age gap between them that they are in completely different life stages, and need different things from me. And since one was school aged before the second made the scene, they both got my full (or nearly full) focus as babies.

If we are being honest about a favorite... it changes. One was definitely an easier baby and toddler. But the other one was a lot of fun during the single digit school years. I have more in common with one of them, but tend to do more with the other one, as the one I have more in common with is fiercely independent.

Meh, I could go crazy worrying about it, so I'm not going to. I'm sure I'm raising them both to be reasonably normal, functional adults, and I'm sure I'm still giving them enough material to biatch about their childhoods in anonymous internet forums of the future.
 
2013-02-22 08:58:22 AM  
Least loved child gets away with more, benefits from a lowered bar.


/I should know, I'm a least loved child.
/Don't believe me, ask Jeb Bush.
 
2013-02-22 08:59:10 AM  
Best Christmas gift I got from my Parents.

A couple of years ago my mom told me that she always thought I was going to be the fark up of the family.

Thanks mom, this is why I can't wait to bury you.
 
2013-02-22 08:59:20 AM  

Englebert Slaptyback: Lipspinach

My parents favoured my older brother and now
I am a 50 year old, unemployed alcoholic mess.

My girlfriend is a hell of a lot hotter than his wife though.
Although his wife is an heir to a fortune.

He wins I guess.

My parents sucked.


At what point should you have stopped blaming your parents for your craptacular life and started blaming yourself?

I'm guessing it was somewhere in the mid-to-late twenties, and certainly no later than age thirty.


You read to much into my post. I certainly don't blame my parents for anything & never have. They were always a very negligible part of my life (except for food/clothing/shelter when I was young). I've made some bad decisions & I own them. There's not a lot of things I would change though; life is a journey, not a destination bleah bleah bleah....
 
2013-02-22 09:02:18 AM  

The Evil That Lies In The Hearts Of Men: The weird thing is often which kid the parents end up favoring. It seems that when faced with a kid who is smart, hard working, on the school sports teams and stays out of trouble and their lazy sibling who has shiat for brains and is always getting into trouble an inordinate number of parents pick the lil' bastard and then go out of their way to make things harder on the good kid.

Even years later when the favored kid has grown up and is an unemployed drunk living in their basement.

I don't get it.


Yep. My lazy, histronic, methhead brother is the only one my mom calls if she needs anything, or with family news. Even though he usually just calls me to handle it for him, or to report what she said to me. In a drugged-up rage last year, he called me up, screaming incoherently about how he hated me and he was going to call CPS and get my kid taken away (weird, we're all doing great and I have no idea why he would threaten to try to have his nephew removed from a loving, happy home). Said he would call both of our offices and claim that we were drug dealers o get us fired. I told my mother what was happening, and all she would say was that "he didn't mean it". She thought I was being too hard on him, when I told her that I didn't care if he meant it or not, to threaten my kid was over the line. I told her fine, she could keep him...it's been almost 8 months since she spoke to me.

Yesterday was her birthday actually, and I didn't call. I feel like shiat, but I don't buy that "buuuut they're family" shiat. I expect better from blood...I cut them off specifically because they were family, and they still decided to behave that way.
 
2013-02-22 09:06:12 AM  
Dad abandoned us all equally.
 
2013-02-22 09:06:19 AM  

Lipspinach


You read to much into my post. I certainly don't blame my parents for anything & never have. They were always a very negligible part of my life (except for food/clothing/shelter when I was young). I've made some bad decisions & I own them. There's not a lot of things I would change though; life is a journey, not a destination bleah bleah bleah....


Actually I just read what you wrote:


My parents favoured my older brother and now
I am a 50 year old, unemployed alcoholic mess.


That looks an awful lot like a statement of cause and effect, i.e. that you were blaming your parents for your current situation.

But if you're owning your decisions and so forth then that's a start.
 
2013-02-22 09:09:09 AM  
I can't say that I love any one of my kids over the others.

Hell, I've never met any of those people...
 
2013-02-22 09:11:44 AM  

GregInIndy: Lipspinach: My parents favoured my older brother and now
I am a 50 year old, unemployed alcoholic mess.

My girlfriend is a hell of a lot hotter than his wife though.
Although his wife is an heir to a fortune.

He wins I guess.

My parents sucked.

Dear God, Man.  You're 50.  Take responsibility for the outcome of your own life.  Your mommy & daddy didn't make you an alcoholic mess, and it's not on them to fix it.  You worked hard to create your crap life yourself.


My life is far from crappy. Sure I've had some hard times but that comes with the territory persuing
music/arts as a "goal". Strangely enough some long-time friends with lucrative careers, families, etc have expressed envy of my lifestyle and what I have accomplished.

I only said my parents sucked, I didn't say I blame them for anything. Sheesh....
 
2013-02-22 09:16:59 AM  
What really sucks, or so I've heard, is when one child is adopted and then a parent noticeably lavishes more attention on the biological child. That can cause some pain and animosity...so I've heard.
 
2013-02-22 09:20:11 AM  
Another good reason to stop at two kids. When you have two, they take turns being your favorite. Also, you love them both and can spend enough time to really get to know them.

Families with 6 or 8 kids -- there's never enough time in the day, and one of those little farkers will make sure to stay in the limelight. Another one will be sure to get pissed off and get attention by being a jackass.
 
2013-02-22 09:26:31 AM  
Both of my 6yo and 10yo girls are fantastic, and I love them both, but this "treat everyone equally" or "give them all equal time" idea is for the birds.  They're different people, at different ages.  They need different things.  They want different things.  They're doing different things.  Why would I treat them identically all the time?  The 10yo simply doesn't need as much attention for many things as the younger one does, but does need things like a ride to a friend's house that the younger one doesn't need.  The younger one definitely wants more playtime together.  The older one's more brainy/sporty and the younger one's more girly/imaginative.  They're both hilarious but it's like Cracked vs. a New Yorker cartoon.

I like the commenter above who tells his kids he dislikes them both equally.  I'm going to steal that.

I think I have a bit more interpersonal affinity with the older one, but I also think a lot of that's just because she's older and capable of doing more.  I'm certain I'll do similar things with the younger one when she's the same age.
 
2013-02-22 09:27:16 AM  

EvilEgg: "Love" more, no I don't think so. "Like" more, yes absolutely.


This.

Like with any other people, some personalities just mesh while some have a very difficult time lining up the gears.  Unsurprisingly the wife and I make a good match and the kids who take after her are likewise easier to get along with than those who take after my own stubbornness.  I still love them all and would take a bullet for any of them.
 
2013-02-22 09:27:48 AM  

indarwinsshadow: True subby. So damn true. My oldest son is 23 and I've never connected with him. I love him, because he's my son, but I never really liked him. It's a sh*t thing to admit, but there it is.


I'm the same way with my dad. We just missed a critical bonding time or something. I think we never really liked each other and we haven't spoken in more than six years. He has two grandchildren, one nearly five and one six, whom he's never met and probably never will. His choice.
 
2013-02-22 09:32:03 AM  

LDM90: They ask which one I like more. I tell them I dislike them both equally.

/DA-AAAAAAD!


Sounds like my interaction with my kids.
 
2013-02-22 09:33:01 AM  
I was the golden child. Seriously, my father had 4 children and even my one and only brother openly says that I was always the favorite. I did absolutely no wrong in his eyes and got away with murder. My older sister was a tom boy who hung out with a rough crowd and openly rejected convention, my brother apparently was called a sissy for not being athletic and whining on family hiking trips. Then the next marriage I came out being a girly and feminine and docile as a little girl is expected to be and then my younger sister had ADHD and major behavioral issues. Not to mention while I had blond curly locks she had an unfortunate bowl cut for a long time.

I think I finally fell out of favor when I agreed to marry a ditch digging blue collar boy.
 
2013-02-22 09:34:46 AM  
There were two favourites in our family, me as the eldest - I was an easy child who did well in school and meshed really well with my Dad's personality. And then my baby brother who came 8 years later and was the Golden Boy.  My poor middle sister was defiant and challenging and argued EVERYTHING and I think my Dad just didn't know how to deal with her.  My mom compensated for my Dad's distance by spoiling her.  She has suffered for it into adulthood.

We have two kids, but they're still too new (3.5 and 11 months) to pick a side.  :)
 
2013-02-22 09:35:50 AM  
I am the youngest, my brother is still the fark up. He lives with them (mid 30s) no job, sleeps all the time. This is the 3rd time he's had to move back in since he dropped out of high school. Every time he gets back on his feet he screws up again.

Just had the first grandchild. Mom wasn't there when he was born, left after 2 hours to go to a college football game. Has seen the kid less than a dozen times since he was born and they live less than 20 minutes away (yes, I have gone over there, but it never seems convenient for them, and my mom won't let me leave him there without her being there).

We are moving back to his hometown in PA in April. How many times has she seen him since we told them 3 weeks ago? Once. She made sure to point out that they won't be able to make the trip to see us "unless she sells blood or plasma or something like that."

I am determined to be a better mother than that, but when you've only had that as an example... all I can hope is that I do as best I can and try not to make my son feel like a burden, because that's how she's been with me for a while now. She can barely muster happiness for my positive situation anymore. Always a competition. Has been since I can remember.

Oh parents!
 
2013-02-22 09:38:50 AM  
I was the eldest and have gotten called "the favorite" by siblings as an adult, but I've had less time & attention from my mom than any of my other siblings since leaving for undergrad at 18.

The reason's easy for me to guess.  She doesn't have to worry about me anymore.  I've had my shiat together since high school, and knew it was my responsibility to care for myself.  The rest have had issues.  From me she get's chats & updates about the grandkids and the occasional visit and we're all good.

And hey sibs, perhaps the reason I got a car in high school and they didn't was because I worked and could pay for gas & upkeep on said vehicle, went to community college in the summers, shuttled you kids around when you needed rides, and didn't abuse mom & dad's trust by lying to them about where I am and what I'm doing.  But if I bring that stuff up I'm told I'm mean for reminding them of it.  Many people I've seen complain about a difficult relationship with their parents appear to have complete amnesia about being awful, shiatty lying  SOBs as teenagers.
 
2013-02-22 09:43:41 AM  
We have two kids, but they're still too new (3.5 and 11 months) to pick a side.  :)

Not quite Irish twins, but close enough.
 
2013-02-22 09:46:17 AM  
My brother is the older if us both and he got away with everything when we were kids from my mom. My dad wanted to throttle him at every turn.

Come home drunk at 15? No biggie.

Get suspended repeatedly? It wasn't his behavior the teachers were unfair. My mom would even do his farkin work for him.

Get arrested? Pay for the lawyer.

Total 2 cars, have another one stolen because he left the engine running? Just buy him another one.

Rack up 40k of debt in my moms name? No biggie.

Me get an A minus? I was slacking.

To this day he is a Fark up and she lets him get away with it. It's probably because he's produced two grand kids for her.

My favorite memory of before my dad passed was my brother and mom were having a shouting match and my brother called my mom a farking biatch to her face (like from a foot away). My father, 100lbs, couldn't talk (he had a trachea) and loss the use of his left arm sprang out of his chair and in one fluid motion punched my brother (19 at the time) right across the jaw and floored him. Knocked out cold.

When my brother came to I informed him that he had just gotten knocked the dark out.

He may be blood but he's not my brother. He ignored me for 20 years. So I've written him off. You don't erase 20 years of neglect with an "I'm sorry" and expect everything to be ok.

/and I'm the successful one.
//was dads favorite.
 
2013-02-22 09:46:39 AM  
I didn't even think school activities. Dad would come to every play and choir performance I was in. Every one. Even flew to New York to see one of my performances and insisted on being involved in the Choral Boosters club. When my sister joined the Color Guard and needed rides to band practice and had to go to every football game (where their insane 250+ member marching band would perform any of 5 prepared routines) my dad was a no show. He went to the first game of the year, left as soon as halftime was over and never went to see her perform again in the 3 years she was involved. Now, I can defend him in that because our football team sucked, but we were a nationally recognized ass kicking marching band. But Dad never bothered to go out of his way to see any of her competitions.

My older sister didn't do after school activities. She was into horticulture and zoology so she would hang out at creeks collecting unusual animals to take home and freak out our brother and her mom. Dad I think for the most part ignored her until her grades slipped. My brother was into music though and in Texas, if your school was lousy at football then you better have a good marching band. Basically because he could play just about anything 2 schools competed over him to get him into their marching band. Dad was blase about it because him being a jock had no clue how to raise a scrawny nerd back in the late 70s.
 
2013-02-22 09:48:15 AM  

Earpj: SquiggsIN:
I was the smart kid but, I didn't have children so that's a drawback to potential grandparents.

If one only has children b/c of potential grandchilden? That's doing it wrong.

My smarter one probably won't have children. She's full on Nerd Girl. She's good enough on her own. I don't require her to produce offspring for me to enjoy her company.


What a colossally stupid statement; that's probably one of the dumbest things I've ever seen written on the Internet. Congratulations.
 
2013-02-22 09:48:27 AM  
Overheard my mom talking to someone before I was a teen, she had returned to college and a class was discussing this, and she was telling a friend that one brother was her favorite, another was my dad's. This really hurt my feelings, but hardly ruined my childhood or anything.

OTOH, I was acknowledged constantly by my grandfather as his favorite (and I wasn't even his first granddaughter). We were very close, and had an awesome relationship. It wasn't until I was an adult, I realized how much this sucked for others. He offered me his car when I got my license, my mom told him no, then had to explain to me why I couldn't accept it (he didn't do this for my cousins, so it wasn't fair). I totally agreed but I think that's when I started to realize that it had and could have a negative impact on others.

It was one of those things though when I was born we were just special buddies. When he developed dementia and would tell the same stories over and over, I was the only one who never got bored. I could spend unlimited time with him and just be happy.

I'll miss him the rest of my life. And while yes, it was unfair to my cousins (and it even hurt my mom that I was his favorite) being loved like that by someone made a huge positive impact on my life. I didn't have the best relationship with my parents while I was growing up, so it gave me the sure knowledge that someone loved me no matter what, and someone would be there for me...no matter what.
 
2013-02-22 09:51:02 AM  
Sounds like my sister and I.  I was the "good kid", did band, stayed out of trouble, got good grades, etc.  She was always in trouble, needed constant supervision, etc.  I always suspected my parents liked her more, and years later my mom came *this* close to outright admitting it.  This turn of events bothered me for quite some time, until I got a 1979 MGB.  That thing was a piece of shiat.  It broke down alot, something always had to be replaced, etc.  I spent a lot of time working on that car.  And to this day it remains my favorite car I've ever owned.

So perhaps a factor in the "favorite" dillemma is that of time invested.  When things are humming along, you don't think about it as much or invest time in it.
 
2013-02-22 09:54:35 AM  

Civchic: We have two kids, but they're still too new (3.5 and 11 months) to pick a side.  :)


You're on zone defense now. Enjoy!
 
2013-02-22 09:56:20 AM  
Carousel Beast:
What a colossally stupid statement; that's probably one of the dumbest things I've ever seen written on the Internet. Congratulations.

Thanks.
 
2013-02-22 10:09:41 AM  
Have 1. Problem solved
 
2013-02-22 10:13:12 AM  

Earpj: Carousel Beast:
What a colossally stupid statement; that's probably one of the dumbest things I've ever seen written on the Internet. Congratulations.

Thanks.


Anytime. It's always interesting to see a superlative in action, whether on the good or bad side.

That was seriously dumb, though. It had to be one of those off-the-cuff comments on something you've never thought about before, or one of the most carefully considered trolling comments of all time.

The entire point of any species is propogation. The only reason to have kids is to subsequently have grandchildren; anything else is superfluous.
 
2013-02-22 10:14:40 AM  
My daughter is most like me- opinionated and strong-willed, but still vulnerable. And she's four. My son is completely different. He's one and a half, so we're only starting to see his real personality, but he's more laid back than my daughter. He's also fearless and will repeatedly get into what he isn't supposed to. I know my daughter is more like me, but I couldn't choose between them if you forced me to. I also know that when they are adults, it will be completely different. My family no longer talks to my brother because he's a leech and a manipulator, and his wife is the most horrible human being on earth. My mom has made sure that they will get nothing after my parents are gone. I really hope that doesn't happen to our family, but a bad spouse can ruin a parent-child relationship.
 
2013-02-22 10:17:46 AM  

Carousel Beast: Earpj: Carousel Beast:
What a colossally stupid statement; that's probably one of the dumbest things I've ever seen written on the Internet. Congratulations.

Thanks.

Anytime. It's always interesting to see a superlative in action, whether on the good or bad side.

That was seriously dumb, though. It had to be one of those off-the-cuff comments on something you've never thought about before, or one of the most carefully considered trolling comments of all time.

The entire point of any species is propogation. The only reason to have kids is to subsequently have grandchildren; anything else is superfluous.


Wrong. There are other reasons. Someone has to wipe your ass when you're too old.
 
2013-02-22 10:29:35 AM  
Do any of you have daughters? Say around 18 years of age? Daughters that you didn't love as much as your other children? Especially you, dad!

/send 'em my way. I'll give 'em all the love they so desperately crave
 
2013-02-22 10:31:42 AM  
Both of our children annoy us equally. Some days one annoys more than the other. There are also traits in each where we see ourselves or other family members that sometimes cause us to favor/understand one over the other. But we love them equally. It is hard to explain to non-parents.

/my dad had a favorite, the one child who liked to do things with him
//my dad was so devastated when my brother died in a car accident that he followed him to grave within 3 years
///as the oldest grandson I was the apple of my mother's father's eye and could do no wrong -- wish someone had told me that before he died ...heh heh heh (j/k)
 
2013-02-22 10:32:34 AM  
Carousel Beast:
The entire point of any species is propogation. The only reason to have kids is to subsequently have grandchildren; anything else is superfluous.

Why not just because you enjoy kids? There are plenty of people being born.
 
2013-02-22 10:38:50 AM  

damageddude


Both of our children annoy us equally. Some days one annoys more than the other. There are also traits in each where we see ourselves or other family members that sometimes cause us to favor/understand one over the other. But we love them equally. It is hard to explain to non-parents.


Ah yes, the epic and mystical font of wisdom that is available only to parents. *eyeroll*

Here ya go:

Both of my parents annoy me equally. Some days one annoys more than the other. There are also traits in each where I see myself or other family members that sometimes cause me to favor/understand one over the other. But I love them equally.

There, easily explained in a manner that just about everyone can understand.
 
2013-02-22 10:43:01 AM  
I have only one child. Subby's math is flawed.
 
2013-02-22 10:58:54 AM  
How many of the 12 secretly hate all their little brats for ruining their lives?
 
2013-02-22 11:00:59 AM  

EvilEgg: "Love" more, no I don't think so. "Like" more, yes absolutely.


Way to make the thread unnecessary in one post
 
2013-02-22 11:06:33 AM  

cygnusx13: Have 1. Problem solved


But what if you decide that you love the one you don't have more than the one you do?
 
2013-02-22 11:06:42 AM  
I love my daughter more, my wife loves our son more.  Not to say I don't love my son.
 
2013-02-22 11:19:20 AM  

Insurgent: Thunderpipes: Lipspinach: My parents favoured my older brother and now
I am a 50 year old, unemployed alcoholic mess.

My girlfriend is a hell of a lot hotter than his wife though.
Although his wife is an heir to a fortune.

He wins I guess.

My parents sucked.

Maybe there was a reason for their favoritism. Ever think of that?

i dunno if thunderpipe's parents are alive or not, but i would imagine they would be embarrassed by his internet behavior.

thunderpipe's mom could have aborted him. and then we wouldn't have to read his awful posts. ever think of that?


My parents are proud. I have a good job, can think for myself, and am not a moron liberal who wants to sit around and get free stuff.

Think about it. Almost every Farker has a sob story about the parents who didn't love them and how they are sad and mentally handicapped because of it. Your tears bring my joy.
 
2013-02-22 11:19:54 AM  
foster kid
they ALL were liked better
but I am the only success
and my gal is a hotty
 
2013-02-22 11:24:44 AM  
At this stage I can't say that I have a favorite.

lh4.googleusercontent.com

They're both so dang adorable!
 
2013-02-22 11:27:15 AM  
I hope they like my brother more, they should. I sure do.
 
2013-02-22 11:27:47 AM  
My father has always been obnoxiously in the tank for my sister, who is overweight, has declared bankruptcy, and has substance abuse problems.  Since I am four years younger and getting married in 3 months, she has been scrambling for SOMEONE to marry, finally settling on the bartender she's gone out with and broken up with at least four times (which she told me in a highly inappropriate text once happened because his penis is small... thanks :/ )

Anyway, at one point we were going to share an apartment as adults because she needed a home base to work as a traveling consultant, and the area I was going to work in had very convenient access to an airport.  She'd be in on the weekends and fly out to different sites during the week, I could live in a luxury apartment basically by myself for half price.  Pretty good deal I felt.

When we showed up to move my stuff into the place I was going to live in alone for 3 months because she wouldn't be out of her lease, he was insistent that she should have the big room with the big bathroom and closet.  She wouldn't move in until 3 months later, and she'd only be there 8 days a month, but she deserved that room.

After probably 20 minutes of fighting about it I told him unless he wanted to pay the entire rent for the next 3 months, he should either give up and help or get the fark out, because she would never have that room.  9 months later the arrangement had already broken up because her drinking had caused her to lose her job.  I wonder if things would have been different if she'd just had that big room.

No I don't.  You perpetually bet on the wrong horse old man.
 
2013-02-22 11:31:17 AM  
I don't love one more than the other, but there is one that I relate to better and that is easier to manage.  The other one may be making me prematurely grey, but i don't love him any less.
 
2013-02-22 11:44:29 AM  
jesus christ, this entire thread is issues/tissues bawww. pure cancer.
 
2013-02-22 11:49:25 AM  

natas6.0: foster kid
they ALL were liked better
but I am the only success
and my gal is a hotty


Was she homeschooled?
 
2013-02-22 11:50:40 AM  
My brother has always been the favorite of the family.  I don't have a clue why.  He dropped out of high school because he "had to be awake at night when all the action happens" in his computer game.  He flooded the house (fell asleep while he was filling the bathtub), caused tens of thousands of dollars in damage, and they just brushed it off.  He's 27 and has never worked a day in his life.  His entire existence is waking up, playing on the computer, and going back to sleep.  He has no mental or physical illnesses.  They just want to make sure he's happy.

I was the first in my family tree to go to college, let alone graduate.  I was forced to start working at 13 to pay for my clothes and food and whatnot.  Worked continuously until I was 27, when I was diagnosed with multiple severe and life-threatening illnesses.  Since I was constantly in and out of the hospital, I couldn't work.  I escaped the grim reaper, but I'm still extremely ill.  My brain keeps trying, but my body holds me back.

But yeah, I can never please my parents.  My best isn't good enough.  Hell, just this morning, my father exploded at me because the plumbing in the house is bad.  Huh?  I never recalled building the house or taking plumbing courses.  But I'm the scapegoat that will forever be in my lazy brother's shadow.

/no, I'm not bitter.  At all.
 
2013-02-22 11:55:18 AM  

GregInIndy: We have two kids, but they're still too new (3.5 and 11 months) to pick a side.  :)

Not quite Irish twins, but close enough.


Haha!  3.5 YEARS and 11 months.  No Irish twins around here.
 
2013-02-22 11:55:27 AM  
My sister was always my mother's favorite and I never understood why.  I finally figured out it is because I don't put up with any of my mother's narcissistic BS.  My sister does and my mother feeds off that attention.  My sister lives about 45 minutes away from me and we see each other often, my mother lives about an hour and a half away and I see her maybe twice a year.  My father lives 1200 miles away and I see him more often than I see my mom.

I did blame her for making my life miserable for a few years, mostly because I felt like I owed her something because she was my mom.  I attended every family gathering and let her walk all over me.  Now I realize that I have a choice as to whether to participate in her life.  When I do see her, it is on my terms, not hers.  She is done emotionally blackmailing me.
 
2013-02-22 12:14:48 PM  
i.qkme.me
 
2013-02-22 12:30:24 PM  

libranoelrose: cats are so much easier to keep track of.


My wife and I don't like children, and yes, we have cats.

Amusingly, my wife has a favorite cat who she clearly loves more than the other one. I pick up the slack though.
 
2013-02-22 12:33:30 PM  
My dad's side has very clear unfavorites based on who puts up with his shiat or my crazy!grandma's. Naturally, we kids have a favorite side of the family, and it ain't his.
 
2013-02-22 12:37:58 PM  
Advantage #450,867,331,284 of having been an only child.
 
2013-02-22 12:40:45 PM  

Civchic: GregInIndy: We have two kids, but they're still too new (3.5 and 11 months) to pick a side.  :)

Not quite Irish twins, but close enough.

Haha!  3.5 YEARS and 11 months.  No Irish twins around here.


I have irish triplets, ages 5,4,3
 
2013-02-22 12:43:17 PM  

padraig: TNel: SquiggsIN: In my family, the youngest kid never did anything wrong.  Seriously, it didn't matter what she did, one of us got blamed for it.  To this day my father will drive 6 hours out of state to see her and her family but won't bother driving a half an hour to see the rest of us within a county of him.

Maybe because you are only a half hour away and don't visit?  I always love when people like that complain.  "You never come and see me and I am so close"... well why don't you go over there?  Does the youngest have kids?  I know putting the kids into a car for a 6 hour drive would be murder for me to do and I would never wish that on anyone.

You know, sometimes, parents DO favor the last one for no reason at all. I've seen it happen, several times, parents who lavish the last id with gifts and praises that are never deserved.
It happens. People are not always rational.


My Mom lavished attention on the youngest as well, he's definitely her favorite. He's a cocky smartass but he isn't horrible (I really can't complain).

I think youngest tend to get spoiled because they are the last kid:

-Parents are older and more comfortable with child rearing having "experimented" on older kids.
-They tend to have more money so they can afford extra toys, etc for youngest kid.
-They get lavished with more attention because there's no other baby and by older siblings.

Oldest also tend to get a boost because they are first, they were the only child for a while so we got more initial attention.

Poor middles get nothing.

/Oldest of 4, only girl
//Currently both Parent's favorite because I'm not a screw-up! :)
 
2013-02-22 12:44:48 PM  

TNel: Civchic: GregInIndy: We have two kids, but they're still too new (3.5 and 11 months) to pick a side.  :)

Not quite Irish twins, but close enough.

Haha!  3.5 YEARS and 11 months.  No Irish twins around here.

I have irish triplets, ages 5,4,3...



Not sure what happened to the rest and I do have 1 that I favor the most but you will always favor one over the rest and they are usually the ones that are either more like you or the ones that help out the most.  Darn boys are driving me nuts right now though.
 
2013-02-22 12:46:36 PM  

Jim from Saint Paul: EvilEgg: "Love" more, no I don't think so. "Like" more, yes absolutely.

Done in one.


This.
 
2013-02-22 12:50:43 PM  

DanInKansas: Another good reason to stop at two kids. When you have two, they take turns being your favorite. Also, you love them both and can spend enough time to really get to know them.

Families with 6 or 8 kids -- there's never enough time in the day, and one of those little farkers will make sure to stay in the limelight. Another one will be sure to get pissed off and get attention by being a jackass.


I have four kids- it is really not so bad. I make time for all of them. They are all so much fun! I love going shopping and baking with my daughter. She wants to be a baker. My oldest son is geeky but is also very athletic. My second son is a handful but is great to talk to, the baby is independent and quiet. I spend time with each individually on a daily basis.

My husband loves the second son the most and everyone knows it. I can tell it breaks my older son's heart. Maybe that is why he sacrifices so much and works so hard to be the best athlete. He gets plenty of support from the rest of his family.

My parents didn't have favorites (I guess I was my Daddy's princess because I was the only girl) but my grandmothers' did. They loved my other female cousins and were disappointed in me because I didn't like cheerleading, was not popular and was not as pretty as the others YMMV (though what is weird I favored both grandmothers in looks more than the other cousins, I once dressed in a tennis outfit similar to my grandmother and grandfather swore I looked like my grandmother when she was my age)
 
2013-02-22 01:06:12 PM  

Carousel Beast: Earpj: Carousel Beast:
What a colossally stupid statement; that's probably one of the dumbest things I've ever seen written on the Internet. Congratulations.

Thanks.

Anytime. It's always interesting to see a superlative in action, whether on the good or bad side.

That was seriously dumb, though. It had to be one of those off-the-cuff comments on something you've never thought about before, or one of the most carefully considered trolling comments of all time.

The entire point of any species is propogation. The only reason to have kids is to subsequently have grandchildren; anything else is superfluous.


Wow. What a staggeringly, colossally, hugemongously moronic statement.
 
2013-02-22 01:09:13 PM  
I treat them the same.
One gets the back of my left hand, the other gets the back of my right hand.
 
2013-02-22 01:10:41 PM  

Nutsac_Jim: I treat them the same.
One gets the back of my left hand, the other gets the back of my right hand.


Then you don't treat them the same, the back of your dominate hand would have a harder swing so you really do perfer one over the other.
 
2013-02-22 01:18:13 PM  

TNel: Nutsac_Jim: I treat them the same.
One gets the back of my left hand, the other gets the back of my right hand.

Then you don't treat them the same, the back of your dominate hand would have a harder swing so you really do perfer one over the other.


That's not necessarily true; my left side is stronger than my right, and I'm primarily right-handed. My left is my "biatch-arm" because it does all the heavy lifting/carrying, whereas my right does more of the finesse work.
 
2013-02-22 01:22:45 PM  
My middle sister is mom's favorite. I'm not surprised, she did everything that mom approves of.

-found a rich guy to marry.
-goes to a Christian church despite not believing in most of their stuff or understanding the theology.
-likes reality TV and football.
-will probably give her grandchildren.

No thanks, I'd rather be awesome.
 
2013-02-22 01:25:26 PM  
My daughter loves every moment of life.  Every new experience, both good and bad, is a treasured instance for her.  She literally hops with energy and excitement all the time.  She's bright and loves school.  Pretty much everyone she meets is smiling within 30 seconds of meeting her.  She trusts everyone she meets.

Her brother broods.  He's usually overly serious and cautious and it's difficult for him to not see the faults in almost everything he witnesses.  He and I understand the world in the exact same way.  We have the same interests and strategic minds.

I can honestly say I do not favor either one of them.   I would never choose to spend more time with one than the other one.  I don't punish either one of them more for misbehavior -- nor do I reward one more than the other.

I do admit that I worry about them.  I worry because I want my son to smile more and I want my daughter to be more cautious in the world.  But they are who they are, and I love them both equally.
 
2013-02-22 01:39:13 PM  
I have a total of six siblings all from my late parent's previous marriage, and I was their favorite. I was my mom's favorite because I wasn't an actively dangerous sociopath like her other two kids and I was my dad's favorite because I'm not a heartless, thoughtless clod like his other 4 kids. If I still talked to my alleged siblings I would tell them this on a regular basis.

/I don't just have family issues, I have great leather-bound volumes piled to the ceiling in a library of sibling rivalry.
//So I just ignore them and hang out with nice people.
 
2013-02-22 01:41:19 PM  
I know I'm not my Mom's favorite, but I'm pretty sure I'm my Dad's. And that makes it okay.
 
2013-02-22 01:42:02 PM  
I only have one child. I love my child, and I love my dog.  If I could only save one of them from drowning, I'd save my son.  But it would be a lot easier to save the dog.
 
2013-02-22 02:16:57 PM  

Thunderpipes: Insurgent: Thunderpipes: Lipspinach: My parents favoured my older brother and now
I am a 50 year old, unemployed alcoholic mess.

My girlfriend is a hell of a lot hotter than his wife though.
Although his wife is an heir to a fortune.

He wins I guess.

My parents sucked.

Maybe there was a reason for their favoritism. Ever think of that?

i dunno if thunderpipe's parents are alive or not, but i would imagine they would be embarrassed by his internet behavior.

thunderpipe's mom could have aborted him. and then we wouldn't have to read his awful posts. ever think of that?

My parents are proud. I have a good job, can think for myself, and am not a moron liberal who wants to sit around and get free stuff.

Think about it. Almost every Farker has a sob story about the parents who didn't love them and how they are sad and mentally handicapped because of it. Your tears bring my joy.


Yes, I can see how they would be proud...
 
2013-02-22 02:18:11 PM  

HotIgneous Intruder: Civchic: We have two kids, but they're still too new (3.5 and 11 months) to pick a side.  :)

You're on zone defense now. Enjoy!


Nope, you are still using man-to-man with two kids, with three or more, you switch to zone.


I have five kids, and Mrs. Engineer and I use a zone defense, with the family dog serving as the free safety.Unfortunately, we have tie a steak to one or two of our kids to make it work.
 
2013-02-22 02:18:28 PM  

SpiderQueenDemon: I know I'm not my Mom's favorite, but I'm pretty sure I'm my Dad's. And that makes it okay.


Daddy says I'm the best

starsmedia.ign.com
 
2013-02-22 02:18:45 PM  
I have two boys. One is much more difficult to deal with than the other, relatively speaking. The more difficult one causes me much more anxiety and stress. But let us not confuse strife and frustration with less love. I would do anything equally for them, including horrible death if needed, because I love them both dearly.
 
2013-02-22 02:24:40 PM  
namegoeshere
was she homeschooled?

you...yes you
are magnificent
 
2013-02-22 02:31:47 PM  
Ray Rossi has more talent in his pinky toe than Dominski and Doyle do in their entire bodies.

/Hi guys

//They are referring to this thread/article on the air.
 
2013-02-22 02:36:20 PM  
Dad of 4 here. Girl/boy/girl/boy.

Eldest daughter is The Sensible. Kinda greedy, too.
Eldest son is a dreamer. Loves Star Wars and Doctor Who like me.
Youngest daughter is a handful. Very loud, does not control emotions well. Does things older 2 would never have thought of doing.
Youngest son is also loud, turning out more like youngest daughter than oldest 2.

I love them all, equally.
 
2013-02-22 02:39:28 PM  

m1ke: [i.qkme.me image 625x383]


We loved Lindsay just as much as any of you normal kids...more than Gob!
 
2013-02-22 02:58:31 PM  

MurphyMurphy: As the favored child out of 3 I feel I'm going to let you slighted others in on a little secret.

The reason your parents never loved you more was because you were a constant disappointment.


Eh, my older brother is an abject failure, and my father has told me many times that he has a lot more faith in my ability to do pretty much anything than he has in my brother.

Yet he is the clear favourite for no discernible reason.
 
2013-02-22 03:43:23 PM  

LavenderWolf: Eh, my older brother is an abject failure, and my father has told me many times that he has a lot more faith in my ability to do pretty much anything than he has in my brother.

Yet he is the clear favourite for no discernible reason.


My Dad has a brother.  He's 50, he lives at home with my 70+ year old grandparents, a barely functioning alcoholic with two juvenile delinquent children living on welfare, one with a baby of his own (he's 18).  My Dad is 57, raised three mostly functional, mostly successful adults, happily married, planning his retirement, owns his house outright...and his brother is quite clearly (even to us grandkids) the favourite.  My Dad and his progeny (us) may as well not exist.
 
2013-02-22 04:21:30 PM  
Only child.  So I was the favorite....but I am relieved to be an only because I know if I'd had sibs, that I would lose that status with my mom.

/She wanted a cheerleader daughter (I'm the scientist) or a boy...she never understood me
//Only grandchild on my dad's side, which makes up for the fact that my other grandmother flat out told my parents that she loved me less than her other grandchildren, because I "didn't need it as much"
 
2013-02-22 04:35:19 PM  
img.photobucket.com
Obviously, the parents loved the one with the wristwatch more.
 
2013-02-22 04:44:07 PM  

TNel: Civchic: GregInIndy: We have two kids, but they're still too new (3.5 and 11 months) to pick a side.  :)

Not quite Irish twins, but close enough.

Haha!  3.5 YEARS and 11 months.  No Irish twins around here.

I have irish triplets, ages 5,4,3


I have a friend with stairsteps just like that. Their birthdays are all within two weeks. She announced pregnancy #4 by yelling out of the bathroom, "GODDAMMIT I AM NEVER DRINKING ON NEW YEARS EVE AGAIN!!"
 
2013-02-22 04:44:25 PM  
Man people are obsessed with quantifying love.  It doesn't really work that way, I think it's more binary.  I love my wife, I love both of my kids.  I don't have less love left for my wife now that I have kids to love, there isn't a finite amount.  I don't love my older kid less now that I have a younger one.
 
2013-02-22 05:05:49 PM  

ninotchka: DanInKansas: Another good reason to stop at two kids. When you have two, they take turns being your favorite. Also, you love them both and can spend enough time to really get to know them.

Families with 6 or 8 kids -- there's never enough time in the day, and one of those little farkers will make sure to stay in the limelight. Another one will be sure to get pissed off and get attention by being a jackass.

I have four kids- it is really not so bad. I make time for all of them. They are all so much fun! I love going shopping and baking with my daughter. She wants to be a baker. My oldest son is geeky but is also very athletic. My second son is a handful but is great to talk to, the baby is independent and quiet. I spend time with each individually on a daily basis.

My husband loves the second son the most and everyone knows it. I can tell it breaks my older son's heart. Maybe that is why he sacrifices so much and works so hard to be the best athlete. He gets plenty of support from the rest of his family.

My parents didn't have favorites (I guess I was my Daddy's princess because I was the only girl) but my grandmothers' did. They loved my other female cousins and were disappointed in me because I didn't like cheerleading, was not popular and was not as pretty as the others YMMV (though what is weird I favored both grandmothers in looks more than the other cousins, I once dressed in a tennis outfit similar to my grandmother and grandfather swore I looked like my grandmother when she was my age)


I have six. I'd say just quickly that two are not very emotionally available, two are kinda into their own thing but easy to get along with, two are sort of gregarious and enjoy making good times for everyone. Three are super smart, two are clever, one is, well, very sweet and charming and earnest. He's the only one who isn't pretty wrapped up in music, but he's the most into baseball, which we all really like. I mean, the point is, I could just divide em up a bunch of different ways, but my heart just bursts thinking of any one of them at any one time.

I've dedicated myself to time with them individually, in various groupings, and all together, doing different things at different stages. I haven't always gotten it right, but they know I've always tried. Three are grown up and far away now (we moved, they stayed,) and that's not easy. I love that, together or separate, we are a family, alike and different, with our own bits of code and inside jokes. I hope some of them will remain close to others of them as they age.

Quantifying my love for them? Not relevant, not possible.
 
2013-02-22 05:43:55 PM  
My Mom loves my brother more.  My brother is a male, I am a female, and my Mom is Asian.

It's okay though. Through all of my years of trying to do my best to impress my Mom, I became a pretty functional adult. Good school, good job, no serious lapses of judgement, etc.

...but I clearly fail at life according to her because I haven't married and given her grand-babies yet.
I farking hate kids.
 
2013-02-22 06:05:36 PM  
I know I was the practice kid. They tweaked what they learned from raising me and applied it to my sister!
 
2013-02-22 06:28:29 PM  

Blink: My daughter loves every moment of life.  Every new experience, both good and bad, is a treasured instance for her.  She literally hops with energy and excitement all the time.  She's bright and loves school.  Pretty much everyone she meets is smiling within 30 seconds of meeting her.  She trusts everyone she meets.

Her brother broods.  He's usually overly serious and cautious and it's difficult for him to not see the faults in almost everything he witnesses.  He and I understand the world in the exact same way.  We have the same interests and strategic minds.

I can honestly say I do not favor either one of them.   I would never choose to spend more time with one than the other one.  I don't punish either one of them more for misbehavior -- nor do I reward one more than the other.

I do admit that I worry about them.  I worry because I want my son to smile more and I want my daughter to be more cautious in the world.  But they are who they are, and I love them both equally.


you sound like a good parent.
 
2013-02-22 08:21:32 PM  

Crackers Are a Family Food: But yeah, I can never please my parents.  My best isn't good enough.  Hell, just this morning, my father exploded at me because the plumbing in the house is bad.  Huh?  I never recalled building the house or taking plumbing courses.  But I'm the scapegoat that will forever be in my lazy brother's shadow.


There's really only one solution.

You have to burn the house down.
 
2013-02-22 08:25:14 PM  

internetuser1080: I do admit that I worry about them.  I worry because I want my son to smile more and I want my daughter to be more cautious in the world.  But they are who they are, and I love them both equally.

you sound like a good parent.


This!
 
2013-02-22 10:03:54 PM  
#1 Son I love you best. Your were the child of our youth. You slept in the stroller for 2 weeks until we could afford a crib. You were the first to do everything and suffered through our first attempts at being parents. And yet somehow you turned out awesome. Everyone loves you and you were the kid who celebrated your 18th bday by going skydiving.
#2 Son I love you best. You made us feel like perfect parents. You were sweet, happy, easy and never sweated the small stuff, but understood when to stand your ground. You never complained that everything you owned was a hand me down. You were the kid who commuted to state college and graduated Sigma Cum Laude and married his first girlfriend.
#1 Daughter I love you best. You gave your brothers holy hell and taught your Dad and I humility. You were the kid who led a protest to the principal's office when you thought a friend was being wronged. You were the first girl and so glorious. You are still fighting for the rights of the downtrodden.
#2 Daughter I love you best. You are the caboose baby. The child of our middle age and yet you keep us young. You are the one who tells us we are keeping you up too late on a school night. You got everything newer and younger than your siblings yet you are sensible and grounded.

I love all my children differently but yet somehow equally.
 
2013-02-22 11:20:55 PM  
Can't speak for the wife, but I really don't have a favorite. I love them all equally.
 
2013-02-23 02:09:42 AM  

EvilEgg: "Love" more, no I don't think so. "Like" more, yes absolutely.


Another Pretentious Nickname: Man people are obsessed with quantifying love.  It doesn't really work that way, I think it's more binary.  I love my wife, I love both of my kids.  I don't have less love left for my wife now that I have kids to love, there isn't a finite amount.  I don't love my older kid less now that I have a younger one.


I think these two comments sum up what true parents should feel
I have a daughter and a son, so the difference is easier to handle.
Many of my friends have had multiples of the same gender, that seems harder.
But to sum up what I think both are saying ...

Love should be absolute to your child, not comparative. Liking a child is not constant, sometimes they can piss me off no end, but that changes as soon as they stop pissing me off.
 
2013-02-23 02:13:40 AM  

Snaptastic: My brother is a male


redundancy is redundant

Snaptastic: my Mom is Asian


also somewhat redundant

// having said that, Im in Beijing right now and I spent last night celebrating my god daughter's first birthday. Her parents do seem to be unique in asian culture though
/ sexism is only second to racism in asian cultures
 
2013-02-23 05:25:36 AM  
if i was a child, i don't know if i'd WANT to be loved.  wouldn't my asshole hurt
 
2013-02-23 01:54:01 PM  

Insurgent: thunderpipe's mom could have aborted him. and then we wouldn't have to read his awful posts. ever think of that?


Not really. The Law of the Conservation of Internet Trolling means that for every aborted troll another would have been born or created in his place. Much like for every dead or banned troll more sign up to keep the level of trolling constant from day to day.
 
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