If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Des Moines Register)   When the threat of a blizzard looms, people on the East Coast stock up on milk, bread, eggs, and toilet paper. People in the Midwest stock up on beer, wine, and liquor   (desmoinesregister.com) divider line 99
    More: Obvious, Des Moines, winter weather, threats, milk, American Red Cross  
•       •       •

4894 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Feb 2013 at 12:31 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



99 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-02-21 11:10:13 PM  
Of course.

They're the staples. All that food takes calories to process it when you consume it.
 
2013-02-21 11:33:48 PM  
We dont call it "stocking up", we call it Thursday.
 
2013-02-21 11:34:49 PM  
Damn skippy.

/Got a couple of handles of liquor, and some Funyuns
//Good 'til Monday
 
2013-02-21 11:41:54 PM  

Frederick: We dont call it "stocking up", we call it Thursday.


and Monday, and, well... the rest of the days.
 
2013-02-21 11:59:19 PM  
I live on the East Coast, and my wife and I definitely value stocking liquor over that "food" crap the subby listed, whatever the f*ck that stuff is about.

And if there's that much snow, you don't need toilet paper. You just get a bucket of snow, use a handful to wipe your ass, and then toss it in the toilet.

/I've never done the snow bit described above, but I could see it working 'in a pinch', if you know what I mean
 
2013-02-22 12:14:09 AM  
That's the hurricane shuffle. Rice beans and tons of alcohol cause they cut it off. I also store lots of water cause there's a lot of flushing with that mix.
 
2013-02-22 12:15:34 AM  
"frostbitten bunghole" would not be a bad name for a band.
 
2013-02-22 12:18:30 AM  
I still can't quite grasp this. I mean, I live in California, and a foot of snow where I live means I still don't have a good excuse to call in

/all y'all whimpy, or what?
 
2013-02-22 12:23:55 AM  
Heading up to the Adirondacks  for a week . As usual, I'm well stocked. Will hit the slopes.... until they carry me off from the hurtin'
 
2013-02-22 12:27:46 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I still can't quite grasp this. I mean, I live in California, and a foot of snow where I live means I still don't have a good excuse to call in

/all y'all whimpy, or what?


I doubt in CA you ever get a foot of snow in an hour.
 
2013-02-22 12:31:27 AM  

cameroncrazy1984: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I still can't quite grasp this. I mean, I live in California, and a foot of snow where I live means I still don't have a good excuse to call in

/all y'all whimpy, or what?

I doubt in CA you ever get a foot of snow in an hour.


Someone's never been to Truckee or Donner Pass, I see.
 
2013-02-22 12:32:44 AM  
On the west coast it seems most people just call their dealer when a storm is coming in.
 
2013-02-22 12:34:52 AM  
I think the headline should read "People in the Midwest stock up on beer, wine, liquor and toilet paper".
 
2013-02-22 12:36:13 AM  
What? Here on the east coast, we don't need to stock up, we're prepared all the time for tommorow with a good supply of beer, wine, and weed.

Course maybe we're making a distinction between American and Canadian here.

/btw, nice caption pic of the video - bud light rofl
 
2013-02-22 12:36:30 AM  
Here in Texas, well I might head to the store if I'm low on milk or something.
 
2013-02-22 12:42:04 AM  

queezyweezel: "frostbitten bunghole" would not be a bad name for a band.


Probably the Butthole Surfers used it on a swing through Fargo.
 
2013-02-22 12:43:15 AM  

cameroncrazy1984: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I still can't quite grasp this. I mean, I live in California, and a foot of snow where I live means I still don't have a good excuse to call in

/all y'all whimpy, or what?

I doubt in CA you ever get a foot of snow in an hour.


Heh.. bless your heart
 
2013-02-22 12:45:30 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I still can't quite grasp this. I mean, I live in California, and a foot of snow where I live means I still don't have a good excuse to call in

/all y'all whimpy, or what?


Where I live it's not so much the amount of snow but the city's inability to remove any of it in a timely fashion. 14 inches today and I won't see a snow plow for a week. 7 stuck vehicles on my street alone. I helped dig out three of them. Most people around here don't have four wheel drive.

/Kansas City
 
2013-02-22 12:45:49 AM  
i.minus.com
"White people stock up like this. Black people stock up like this."
Homer Simpson: "Ha ha! It's true! We're so lame!"

In all seriousness, though:

If you're going to be stuck in your house for a long while, and maybe even have the power out, what makes sense to buy? The most perishable stuff you can get? Idiots.
 
2013-02-22 12:47:10 AM  
a3.ec-images.myspacecdn.com

AND DON'T JUST BUY BOOZE!

That ain't food.
 
2013-02-22 12:49:28 AM  
Guess that makes me midwestern. The wife and I always have enough food in the basement to last us a few weeks if need be. Stuff that doesn't spoil and can be prepared with a pot and my grill if need be. Soups, canned prepared foods, pasta, etc.. It just seems like common sense to me - especially since we have a history of losing power for days at a time here in the DC suburbs. So I don't need to fight crowds of soccer moms in the supermarket for the last case of bottled water when bad storms are heading our way.

When "Snowpocalypse" was heading towards us I picked up a whole bunch of beer the day before, and pretty much stayed completely sauced for the couple days worth of shoveling I had to do. In particular I had something like 5 bottles of this. I'd keep a bottle in the snow next to me as I worked so it would stay nice and cold. Stocked up before Sandy too.
 
2013-02-22 12:50:21 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: cameroncrazy1984: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I still can't quite grasp this. I mean, I live in California, and a foot of snow where I live means I still don't have a good excuse to call in

/all y'all whimpy, or what?

I doubt in CA you ever get a foot of snow in an hour.

Heh.. bless your heart


People often forget that CA is a huge region that encompasses a whole lot more than just the main coastal cities.

I wish the recent storm had dumped even more snow on the California mountains. There hasn't been quite enough snow this ski season.
 
2013-02-22 12:50:22 AM  
I think Subby needs to reevaluate.  Was in the store (Omaha area) on  Tuesday and people were already stocking up on the French Toast ingredients.  Missus Snark stopped there yesterday and reported that all the aforementioned ingredients were GONE.

I wish I knew WTF people were thinking was going to happen.  Even though it's less than great sometimes, we DO have snow removal, FFS.   Even in the worst blizzard I've ever seen (Christmas Eve 2009), we weren't stuck at home for more than a day.
 
2013-02-22 12:50:31 AM  

Dr.Zom: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I still can't quite grasp this. I mean, I live in California, and a foot of snow where I live means I still don't have a good excuse to call in

/all y'all whimpy, or what?

Where I live it's not so much the amount of snow but the city's inability to remove any of it in a timely fashion. 14 inches today and I won't see a snow plow for a week. 7 stuck vehicles on my street alone. I helped dig out three of them. Most people around here don't have four wheel drive.

/Kansas City


You don't need four wheel drive, even in 14 inches. You just need the right kinda tires.
 
2013-02-22 12:50:33 AM  
davidphogan: On the west coast it seems most people just call

When the threat of a blizzard looms, people on the West Coast go "WTF is a Blizzard".

// or alternatively "I love ice cream".
 
2013-02-22 12:52:49 AM  

Dr.Zom: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I still can't quite grasp this. I mean, I live in California, and a foot of snow where I live means I still don't have a good excuse to call in

/all y'all whimpy, or what?

Where I live it's not so much the amount of snow but the city's inability to remove any of it in a timely fashion. 14 inches today and I won't see a snow plow for a week. 7 stuck vehicles on my street alone. I helped dig out three of them. Most people around here don't have four wheel drive.

/Kansas City


Well, that's a pretty big thing right there. Everyone here has 4WD

/we just lock the hubs and plow our own ruts
 
2013-02-22 12:55:06 AM  

Sid_6.7: And if there's that much snow, you don't need toilet paper


You never need toilet paper when you have one of these:
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-22 12:55:32 AM  
One of the local Boston websites calls the milk, bread, and eggs thing the French Toast Alert during snow storms for what I hope is an obvious reason. But we totally stock up on lots of beer, wine, and booze.

Heck, even my local store had a sign up saying the top five selling items before, during, and after the last bad storm. Before and during, beer and wine were up there with snack foods. After the storm, the store claimed pregnancy tests were the top seller. Wile I found this funny, I also expect people would go to the pharmacy and not their shiatty beer and grocery mart.
 
2013-02-22 12:57:42 AM  

Thrag: People often forget that CA is a huge region that encompasses a whole lot more than just the main coastal cities.

I wish the recent storm had dumped even more snow on the California mountains. There hasn't been quite enough snow this ski season.


Gimme until March 5. I'll be moved by then

/we usually get at least one more good snow at this elevation (3000) before April
//sometimes even IN April
 
2013-02-22 12:57:45 AM  
Guess we know where the majority of the farkers are
 
2013-02-22 12:57:49 AM  

Thrag: I wish the recent storm had dumped even more snow on the California mountains. There hasn't been quite enough snow this ski season.


Not to mention the watering the crops with the melted snow season.
 
2013-02-22 12:58:27 AM  

lordargent: davidphogan: On the west coast it seems most people just call

When the threat of a blizzard looms, people on the West Coast go "WTF is a Blizzard".

// or alternatively "I love ice cream".


I was going to make the WTF joke as well...
 
2013-02-22 01:02:01 AM  
Ahem...

www.davegranlund.com
 
2013-02-22 01:05:13 AM  
How much of this is "stocking up" for the storm compared to people hearing about a storm and trying to get their grocery shopping done early so they won't have to go out in the snow. When I heard we were supposed to get a pretty good storm this weekend I went and loaded up on some beer and other things I was short on today so I wouldn't have to do it in the snow.
 
2013-02-22 01:05:27 AM  
howdoibegin:

You don't need four wheel drive, even in 14 inches. You just need the right kinda tires.

Well, to be fair, with that much snow adequate ground clearance becomes pretty important too.  If you have a low-slung car you're still likely to get stuck in a 24" snow drift even with AWD.
 
2013-02-22 01:14:14 AM  
From what I remember from college, the amount of snowfall predicts how much beer to stock.  Yellow snow doesn't make itself.

In fact the original Tweet was in yellow snow.  The 140 character limit was based on the record sentence length before frostbite.
 
2013-02-22 01:14:27 AM  
*looks outside*
*looks in the fridge*

Yep.
 
2013-02-22 01:14:50 AM  
Yes, yes we do.

\Bourbon and Jager
 
2013-02-22 01:17:05 AM  
There's a surprising amount of calls on the scanner tonight, too. Maybe not so surprising when you consider people have probably been at the bottle all day.
 
2013-02-22 01:17:37 AM  
Some people like to party, others like to make french toast.
 
2013-02-22 01:18:11 AM  

SquiggsIN: mongbiohazard: Guess that makes me midwestern. The wife and I always have enough food in the basement to last us a few weeks if need be. Stuff that doesn't spoil and can be prepared with a pot and my grill if need be. Soups, canned prepared foods, pasta, etc.. It just seems like common sense to me - especially since we have a history of losing power for days at a time here in the DC suburbs. So I don't need to fight crowds of soccer moms in the supermarket for the last case of bottled water when bad storms are heading our way.

When "Snowpocalypse" was heading towards us I picked up a whole bunch of beer the day before, and pretty much stayed completely sauced for the couple days worth of shoveling I had to do. In particular I had something like 5 bottles of this. I'd keep a bottle in the snow next to me as I worked so it would stay nice and cold. Stocked up before Sandy too.

These people running around like idiots to "prep" for the storm are funny  The wife and I have fuel, water, and food stocks for 90 days in the basement.  Why wait until the danger is imminent and the suppliers are price-gouging people?  It'd be a nice vacation from "life" if we were snowed in for a couple weeks.


Getting ready for the zombie apocalypse?
 
2013-02-22 01:18:17 AM  

mistersnark: I think Subby needs to reevaluate.  Was in the store (Omaha area) on  Tuesday and people were already stocking up on the French Toast ingredients.  Missus Snark stopped there yesterday and reported that all the aforementioned ingredients were GONE.

I wish I knew WTF people were thinking was going to happen.  Even though it's less than great sometimes, we DO have snow removal, FFS.   Even in the worst blizzard I've ever seen (Christmas Eve 2009), we weren't stuck at home for more than a day.


I was visiting the parents for that one in 2009. Couldn't leave the back roads for 3 days while we dug out 5 to 6 foot drifts with a tractor and a bobcat. Then I found the farking bridge into Iowa was closed for another day. Parents live about 40 miles southwest of Lincoln.

Oh I love Lincoln's salting system. Was a guy in the back of a pickup hacking salt out with a coal shovel.
 
2013-02-22 01:18:45 AM  

SquiggsIN: east coast wusses


a BIL's adult son lives in Indiana. when he comes to visit NJ he never leaves granma's house. the traffic, amount of people and noise scare the shiat out of him.
 
2013-02-22 01:19:36 AM  
I never understand people who stock up on toilet paper before a blizzard. How much TP do these people use? Do they normally wait until they are on the last roll to buy more? I stock up on booze because I know how much more I will potentially consume if I have extra days off of work. I don't ever really worry about running out of booze any other time because there's this place called a "bar" I can go to if the roads are clear. I stock up on TP when it's on sale, whether I need it or not. Because someday I'll need it, and won't be able to make it to the bar in time to use theirs.
 
2013-02-22 01:21:24 AM  
I see good planning.  alcohol is a sugar.  Beer has wheat.   You *CAN* survive 4 days on alcohol.
 
2013-02-22 01:22:18 AM  
We  a good four months out from tornado season. What existenstial threat you flat landers facing now?
 
2013-02-22 01:22:51 AM  

gerbilpox: [i.minus.com image 240x180]
"White people stock up like this. Black people stock up like this."
Homer Simpson: "Ha ha! It's true! We're so lame!"

In all seriousness, though:

If you're going to be stuck in your house for a long while, and maybe even have the power out, what makes sense to buy? The most perishable stuff you can get? Idiots.


How long do you plan on being stuck?  is it snowing zombies?
 
2013-02-22 01:22:56 AM  

0Icky0: Sid_6.7: And if there's that much snow, you don't need toilet paper

You never need toilet paper when you have one of these:
[1.bp.blogspot.com image 850x589]


A toilet in the shower? luxury!
 
2013-02-22 01:24:18 AM  

I sound fat: I see good planning.  alcohol is a sugar.  Beer has wheat.   You *CAN* survive 4 days on alcohol.


Beer is food. Hence the term "Hydraulic Sandwich".
 
2013-02-22 01:26:07 AM  

I sound fat: alcohol is a sugar


no....
 
2013-02-22 01:26:08 AM  

zerkalo: We  a good four months out from tornado season. What existenstial threat you flat landers facing now?


none, thanks!
 
2013-02-22 01:30:19 AM  

zerkalo: We  a good four months out from tornado season. What existenstial threat you flat landers facing now?


I'd bet loneliness.
 
2013-02-22 01:33:01 AM  
Here in Florida we stock up on seeds, commemorative plates, and reverse mortgages.
 
2013-02-22 01:34:01 AM  

MayoSlather: Here in Florida we stock up on seeds, commemorative plates, and reverse mortgages.


No special mint coins?
 
2013-02-22 01:34:18 AM  
I don't get the run on snow shovels.
It happens with every decent snow.
What did they do the last time it snowed?
Did they throw their shovel out when the snow was cleared?
Do they sell one-use disposable shovels?
Growing up, I had to drag out the same old bent and rusted shovel year after year. I think my old man enjoyed watching me trying to use that piece of crap.
I bought a shovel 10 years ago. I still have it. I drag it out of the basement at the first snow and it stays out till spring.

Same thing with fans and air-conditioners.
 
2013-02-22 01:35:57 AM  

MayoSlather: Here in Florida we stock up on seeds, commemorative plates, and reverse mortgages.


Seattle here: we got passive-agressiveness, rain, and beer
 
2013-02-22 01:39:47 AM  
I already have beer, wine and booze and stock up on meat, eggs, fruit, dairy and herbs. I have makings for bread. I eat well during storms, have time to bake and cook. Hmmmm... french toast and bacon for breakfast, chicken egg foo young for lunch. Roast pork, bread, snap peas, apple crisp for dinner tomorrow.
 
2013-02-22 01:52:38 AM  

LargeCanine: I already have beer, wine and booze and stock up on meat, eggs, fruit, dairy and herbs. I have makings for bread. I eat well during storms, have time to bake and cook. Hmmmm... french toast and bacon for breakfast, chicken egg foo young for lunch. Roast pork, bread, snap peas, apple crisp for dinner tomorrow.


Yep, you just made me hungry. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow !

/Thirsty too !
//Cheers !!
 
2013-02-22 01:55:01 AM  
The liquor store here only closed once in the last 5 years. The Sav-a-lot  and Walgreens never closed since they been down the street due to weather. I don't really mind  walking two blocks to get to them(all three are across the street from each other plus Walgreens now sells beer and wine) in the snow or rain
 
2013-02-22 01:59:01 AM  

0Icky0: Sid_6.7: And if there's that much snow, you don't need toilet paper

You never need toilet paper when you have one of these:
[1.bp.blogspot.com image 850x589]


A microphone so you call for help?

/Yes, I know, ok?
 
2013-02-22 02:07:44 AM  

gerbilpox: If you're going to be stuck in your house for a long while, and maybe even have the power out, what makes sense to buy? The most perishable stuff you can get? Idiots.


If the power goes out during a winter storm, the eggs and milk go into the back yard.

Hell, more than once the vodka's ended up out there as well.
 
2013-02-22 02:08:29 AM  
That's because people in the midwest are retarded pigfarkers
 
2013-02-22 02:18:56 AM  

alcoda: Yes, yes we do.

\Bourbon


A man!

and Jager

...a boy, and a douche at that.
 
2013-02-22 02:20:56 AM  

meer markt: One of the local Boston websites calls the milk, bread, and eggs thing the French Toast Alert during snow storms for what I hope is an obvious reason.


As a child, I honestly thought that was the point. To this day, I still call it the "winter French Toast run" when the stores run dry.
 
2013-02-22 02:21:49 AM  
2.bp.blogspot.com


/Only a couple inches on the ground
//Already drunk
 
2013-02-22 02:22:13 AM  

I sound fat: gerbilpox: If you're going to be stuck in your house for a long while, and maybe even have the power out, what makes sense to buy? The most perishable stuff you can get? Idiots.

How long do you plan on being stuck?  is it snowing zombies?


It could happen.

smhttp.14409.nexcesscdn.net

/Boy Scout motto: Be Prepared
 
2013-02-22 02:22:22 AM  

DownDaRiver: I don't get the run on snow shovels.
It happens with every decent snow.
What did they do the last time it snowed?
Did they throw their shovel out when the snow was cleared?
Do they sell one-use disposable shovels?
Growing up, I had to drag out the same old bent and rusted shovel year after year. I think my old man enjoyed watching me trying to use that piece of crap.
I bought a shovel 10 years ago. I still have it. I drag it out of the basement at the first snow and it stays out till spring.

Same thing with fans and air-conditioners.


People buying these things:
- people new to the area
- people who have moved out of an apartment into a home
- people who had theirs break
- people who loaned theirs out and it wasn't returned
- people with extra money who want something in newer, better condition than the old one
 
2013-02-22 02:30:14 AM  

Dwight_Yeast: gerbilpox: If you're going to be stuck in your house for a long while, and maybe even have the power out, what makes sense to buy? The most perishable stuff you can get? Idiots.

If the power goes out during a winter storm, the eggs and milk go into the back yard.

Hell, more than once the vodka's ended up out there as well.


You've got a point. I forgot about this:

beerstreetjournal.com

I guess my comment applies more to hurricanes, when it's warm and the power is very likely to be knocked out.
 
2013-02-22 03:14:09 AM  

ArcadianRefugee: alcoda: Yes, yes we do.

\Bourbon

A man!

and Jager

...a boy, and a douche at that.


A woman, and one who happens to like things you don't. The nerve of me.
 
2013-02-22 03:30:37 AM  

alcoda: ArcadianRefugee: alcoda: Yes, yes we do.

\Bourbon

A man!

and Jager

...a boy, and a douche at that.

A woman, and one who happens to like things you don't. The nerve of me.


How dare you!
 
2013-02-22 03:47:15 AM  
When I went to bed they said we were going to get an inch of snow today.

Now it's 4-6.  Luckily I'll be at work all day anyways.

/plenty of vodka for when I get home
 
2013-02-22 04:45:01 AM  

DownDaRiver: I don't get the run on snow shovels.
It happens with every decent snow.
What did they do the last time it snowed?
Did they throw their shovel out when the snow was cleared?
Do they sell one-use disposable shovels?
Growing up, I had to drag out the same old bent and rusted shovel year after year. I think my old man enjoyed watching me trying to use that piece of crap.
I bought a shovel 10 years ago. I still have it. I drag it out of the basement at the first snow and it stays out till spring.

Same thing with fans and air-conditioners.


We had a very unusual heat wave this summer in So Cal (bizarre enough, but okay). The hardware store across the street must have run plumb out of fans, because they had a big sign posted "WE HAVE FANS" on days when they were stocked. It came down when they ran out. I recall thinking WTF? This is Southern California! It gets into the high 90's every summer! Are you just now noticing that you need fans? Have you been hot and sweaty for the last ten years? Why wait till it's 110 degrees before deciding "Uh, Mabel? Pick up a couple window fans when you're at the market next time, it's a tad warmish."

And yeah, snow prep. When I lived at Lake Tahoe, you kept a shovel, a parka, and a bag of sand in your car year-round. Usually at least a box of granola bars and some water too.
 
2013-02-22 05:14:31 AM  

Pokey.Clyde: DownDaRiver: I don't get the run on snow shovels.
It happens with every decent snow.
What did they do the last time it snowed?
Did they throw their shovel out when the snow was cleared?
Do they sell one-use disposable shovels?
Growing up, I had to drag out the same old bent and rusted shovel year after year. I think my old man enjoyed watching me trying to use that piece of crap.
I bought a shovel 10 years ago. I still have it. I drag it out of the basement at the first snow and it stays out till spring.

Same thing with fans and air-conditioners.

People buying these things:
- people new to the area
- people who have moved out of an apartment into a home
- people who had theirs break
- people who loaned theirs out and it wasn't returned
- people with extra money who want something in newer, better condition than the old one


People who have an extra pair of hands to help but only one shovel
 
2013-02-22 05:17:39 AM  
Or what about when you leave the shovel out in the snow and it snows more and you can't find it so you have to go out and buy another one?
 
2013-02-22 06:22:03 AM  

Bourbonman: I sound fat: I see good planning.  alcohol is a sugar.  Beer has wheat.   You *CAN* survive 4 days on alcohol.

Beer is food. Hence the term "Hydraulic Sandwich".


If you think you can only get 4 days out of alcohol you're doing it wrong.German monks have known about beer as a food substitute for a very long time... centuries even. Lenten fasts of nothing but beer weren't unheard of. A reporter even went so far as to try it himself. Take note that trying this with Bud probably wouldn't work very well. Getting a heartier beer (I think the reporter drank a Doppelbock) works much better than say your typical macrobrew piss water.

http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2011/04/08/for-lent-can-man-live-by-br ew -alone-2/
 
2013-02-22 07:13:53 AM  
Blizzard Party ,on the plus side the booze wont freeze
 
2013-02-22 07:23:42 AM  

Thats why I can my own provisions just in case of an emergency



i26.photobucket.com
/jar of this and some beef jerky I can survive anything
 
2013-02-22 07:31:51 AM  

Onkel Buck: Thats why I can my own provisions just in case of an emergency

[i26.photobucket.com image 320x240]
/jar of this and some beef jerky I can survive anything


yeah but what are you gonna do when you start cravin alcohol on top of the weed
 
2013-02-22 07:44:11 AM  
I never understood the need for people to buy so many goddamn things that would spoil first. I've had friends who never drink a gallon of milk in a month go out and purchase 3 gallons for a storm that is going to dump a mere 6" of snow, with most of that being melted by noon the next day. I ask why, but never once been given a reasonable answer other than a shrug of the shoulders.

My snowpocalypse list? Jameson, vodka, margaritas and some red wine for Mrs. RoxtarRyan. Steaks, potatoes and other veggies to grill up, and that is pretty much it. We've literally been snowed in because the town wouldn't plow the streets, and unless you had a vehicle that had a chassis higher than 3', you're not getting anywhere.
 
2013-02-22 08:11:22 AM  

SquiggsIN: Jon iz teh kewl: Onkel Buck: Thats why I can my own provisions just in case of an emergency

[i26.photobucket.com image 320x240]
/jar of this and some beef jerky I can survive anything

yeah but what are you gonna do when you start cravin alcohol on top of the weed

I've never had this problem.  RoxtarRyan: I never understood the need for people to buy so many goddamn things that would spoil first. I've had friends who never drink a gallon of milk in a month go out and purchase 3 gallons for a storm that is going to dump a mere 6" of snow, with most of that being melted by noon the next day. I ask why, but never once been given a reasonable answer other than a shrug of the shoulders.

My snowpocalypse list? Jameson, vodka, margaritas and some red wine for Mrs. RoxtarRyan. Steaks, potatoes and other veggies to grill up, and that is pretty much it. We've literally been snowed in because the town wouldn't plow the streets, and unless you had a vehicle that had a chassis higher than 3', you're not getting anywhere.

Recently in Indiana the local media was in "sky is falling" mode over the "Blizzard" to come.  The result was 6-8".  People in Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, etc. laugh and mock that Indiana would consider that at all blizzard-like.


what do you mean you've never had this problem.  you've obviously not an alcoholic like me
 
2013-02-22 08:15:52 AM  

Jon iz teh kewl: Onkel Buck: Thats why I can my own provisions just in case of an emergency

[i26.photobucket.com image 320x240]
/jar of this and some beef jerky I can survive anything

yeah but what are you gonna do when you start cravin alcohol on top of the weed


Dont you worry, I got some of that  in ol milk jug. I was a soldier I know how to prepare for any situation. I do prefer the herbals though
 
2013-02-22 08:18:52 AM  

SquiggsIN: Jon iz teh kewl: SquiggsIN: Jon iz teh kewl: Onkel Buck: Thats why I can my own provisions just in case of an emergency

[i26.photobucket.com image 320x240]
/jar of this and some beef jerky I can survive anything

yeah but what are you gonna do when you start cravin alcohol on top of the weed

I've never had this problem.  RoxtarRyan: I never understood the need for people to buy so many goddamn things that would spoil first. I've had friends who never drink a gallon of milk in a month go out and purchase 3 gallons for a storm that is going to dump a mere 6" of snow, with most of that being melted by noon the next day. I ask why, but never once been given a reasonable answer other than a shrug of the shoulders.

My snowpocalypse list? Jameson, vodka, margaritas and some red wine for Mrs. RoxtarRyan. Steaks, potatoes and other veggies to grill up, and that is pretty much it. We've literally been snowed in because the town wouldn't plow the streets, and unless you had a vehicle that had a chassis higher than 3', you're not getting anywhere.

Recently in Indiana the local media was in "sky is falling" mode over the "Blizzard" to come.  The result was 6-8".  People in Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, etc. laugh and mock that Indiana would consider that at all blizzard-like.

what do you mean you've never had this problem.  you've obviously not an alcoholic like me

I hardly ever drink.  Maybe a twice a month, at most.  I prefer cannabis.


well me too.  but the after effects last 2 days for me, when i'm in a mental CLOUD unable to function at 100 miles an hour at work.  therefore, it's only beer for me
 
2013-02-22 09:22:00 AM  

Jon iz teh kewl: SquiggsIN: Jon iz teh kewl: SquiggsIN: Jon iz teh kewl: Onkel Buck: Thats why I can my own provisions just in case of an emergency

[i26.photobucket.com image 320x240]
/jar of this and some beef jerky I can survive anything

yeah but what are you gonna do when you start cravin alcohol on top of the weed

I've never had this problem.  RoxtarRyan: I never understood the need for people to buy so many goddamn things that would spoil first. I've had friends who never drink a gallon of milk in a month go out and purchase 3 gallons for a storm that is going to dump a mere 6" of snow, with most of that being melted by noon the next day. I ask why, but never once been given a reasonable answer other than a shrug of the shoulders.

My snowpocalypse list? Jameson, vodka, margaritas and some red wine for Mrs. RoxtarRyan. Steaks, potatoes and other veggies to grill up, and that is pretty much it. We've literally been snowed in because the town wouldn't plow the streets, and unless you had a vehicle that had a chassis higher than 3', you're not getting anywhere.

Recently in Indiana the local media was in "sky is falling" mode over the "Blizzard" to come.  The result was 6-8".  People in Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, etc. laugh and mock that Indiana would consider that at all blizzard-like.

what do you mean you've never had this problem.  you've obviously not an alcoholic like me

I hardly ever drink.  Maybe a twice a month, at most.  I prefer cannabis.

well me too.  but the after effects last 2 days for me, when i'm in a mental CLOUD unable to function at 100 miles an hour at work.  therefore, it's only beer for me


i26.photobucket.com
"Chicks cannot hold the smoke. That's what it is"

/I keed, I keed
 
2013-02-22 09:56:02 AM  
This is news?  When I used to live in Iowegia snow storms were just more reason to head to the bars.  Those with snowmobiles would just bar hop from bar to bar in different small towns.
 
2013-02-22 10:29:30 AM  

mistersnark: howdoibegin:

You don't need four wheel drive, even in 14 inches. You just need the right kinda tires.

Well, to be fair, with that much snow adequate ground clearance becomes pretty important too.  If you have a low-slung car you're still likely to get stuck in a 24" snow drift even with AWD.


Dat's when you give it da gas, hey.  Fer christsake.  You going to back up a scooch and slam it down, or no?
 
2013-02-22 11:00:58 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I still can't quite grasp this. I mean, I live in California, and a foot of snow where I live means I still don't have a good excuse to call in

/all y'all whimpy, or what?


You live in the foothills of the Sierras, where the major roads are state highways, and winter is expected to drop a lot of snow at once. CalTrans and the county do a pretty good jorb of keeping the roads clear under the circumstances.

/aunt and uncle lived in Quintette for about twenty years
 
2013-02-22 11:15:32 AM  
I don't think it is a geographical thing. I think it just comes down to 2 types of people.

Storm coming = Oh shiat we gonna die types

Storm coming = Hey I don't have to go to work, lets get drunk.

There are plenty of group 2 up this way for sure.
 
2013-02-22 11:35:23 AM  
We just had a really bad blizzard blow through our area, but we had plenty of booze, venison, pickled eggs, and homebrew.  It's not like this sort of thing doesn't happen often up here, so you pretty much expect it.  It doesn't affect much - other than having to dig more before getting out of the driveway.
 
JVD
2013-02-22 01:09:00 PM  

I sound fat: I see good planning.  alcohol is a sugar.  Beer has wheat.   You *CAN* survive 4 days on alcohol.


That isn't surviving. That is an extended weekend.
 
2013-02-22 01:53:51 PM  
As usual, I have a Brantgoose Theory (Patent Pending).

Well, several theories as a rule. I am a scientist manqué.

It's possible that economic and cultural differences cause people to stock up differently in emergencies.

Some hypotheses.

One, survivalists. More of them in the West. They are already stocked up on necessities for a year or more.

Two, Mormons. Mormons are also stocked up on necessities for at least a year. If they are polygamists, they probably buy in bulk any way, which means that they may have ample stocks of everything. Of course, they'd be pretty bad Mormons if they were buying alcohol, but hey, that's why Utah bars have back doors.

Three, Freezers. In rural areas, many people do their shopping once a week or once every few weeks. They have ample storage space and are likely to have a freezer as well as a refigerator. This means that they have ample supplies of food and other necessities. Also, they tend to have larger houses with root cellars, basements, etc.

Four, New York. New Yorkers notoriously live in small apartments which may or may not have kitchens. Some New Yorkers use their kitchens, ovens, refigerators, etc., to store their large stock of fashionable shoes. Hence, when they stock up for disaster, they may have to buy EVERYTHING. They have nothing but a jar of mustard and some yoghurts in the apartment.

Five, New Englanders. New Englanders are mostly rural and some are quite well-to-do. But they are famously practical, sensible and bargain-loving. They may shop simply for the sake of shopping, which means a trip to a big box store or factory outlet to stock up on things they don't really need until they can drive again.

Six, distance. In the country and presumably wide open areas, people are more likely to have to drive a long ways for groceries and other necessities, but convenience stores, beer stores and the like are probably near by. Thus, the late shoppers are likely to be shopping for things you can get nearby, like beer, rather than things you have to make a 100 mile round trip to get, like milk or bread.

I am sure I can think of more reasons why Westerners would concentrate on the booze (including a higher rate of alcoholism, seeing as many Westerners are descended from risk takers and the survivors of long, lonely lives as miners, cowboys, etc.). But six is more than enough to prime the pump, so to speak.

Oh, what the Hell.

Seven, speaking of priming the pump, Westerners may be more likely to have wells and to trust the water, so they don't have to stock up on bottled water, especially the fancy premium bottle-water preferred in the rich cities and suburbs of the East.
 
2013-02-22 02:13:22 PM  
i.chzbgr.com
 
2013-02-22 02:15:08 PM  
In an emergency, I wouldn't buy booze because I drink very little. There's enough on hand to meet my needs for years to come (Port, Scotch, a few aperitifs). I also have enough bottled water for three days or so. And don't talk to me about pasta, rice, couscous and beans. My stocks may be ancient, but there's enough there for months.

The thing is I don't have enough space to survive very long on canned or dehydrated goods, and if the electricity fails, frozen food wouldn't be much help unless it was winter.

I have a camping type bottle of kerosene or gas or something for light, heat and cooking, but it kinds of scares me because it could explode and my place is a fire trap.

It would be great if I knew how to pack more food value into a very small space.

Fortunately, I am on top of a gently slopping rock called Parliament Hill. It survived the Ice Age and was an island in the post-glacial lake, so most disasters such as earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, etc., are not large or immediate risks. Nothing like a massive outcrop of Ordovician limestone to make you feel safer. Being near down town means lots of potential evacuation points, great walkability, and the Government and corporations have the place well-stocked with emergency power sources, so even during the Great Blackout, there was plenty of light on downtown streets from generators the size of trucks.

On the other hand, the area is terrorist target-rich, liable to riots in the event of political mayhem, and gradually being hollowed-out by the retreat of stores and services to the suburbs. The Government is a lousy landlord. They feel obliged to charge very high rents and to impose a lot of rules, which, although well-intended and just, may put off many businesses because of the paper-work and costs associated with being politically-correct and patriotic (you get it from the left and the right alike).
 
2013-02-22 02:35:58 PM  

illannoyin: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 640x480]

/Only a couple inches on the ground
//Already drunk


Pilsner Urquell? DAB? Spaten? At least stick to Corona and Moosehead and save yourself the money and the rest of us the show of pretentiousness.
 
2013-02-22 03:02:25 PM  

meer markt: One of the local Boston websites calls the milk, bread, and eggs thing the French Toast Alert during snow storms for what I hope is an obvious reason.


Hello fellow U-Hubber!  *high-five*
 
2013-02-22 03:27:49 PM  

geekbikerskum: meer markt: One of the local Boston websites calls the milk, bread, and eggs thing the French Toast Alert during snow storms for what I hope is an obvious reason.

Hello fellow U-Hubber!  *high-five*


People who belittle the Hivemind should shut up or learn to control it for their own ends.
 
2013-02-22 06:07:48 PM  

alcoda: ArcadianRefugee: alcoda: Yes, yes we do.

\Bourbon

A man!

and Jager

...a boy, and a douche at that.

A woman, and one who happens to like things you don't. The nerve of me.


Unpossible. Only frat boys [pretend to] like that stuff.
 
2013-02-22 06:32:28 PM  

ArcadianRefugee: alcoda: ArcadianRefugee: alcoda: Yes, yes we do.

\Bourbon

A man!

and Jager

...a boy, and a douche at that.

A woman, and one who happens to like things you don't. The nerve of me.

Unpossible. Only frat boys [pretend to] like that stuff.


You don't drink Jäger because you like it. You drink it because it's nasty, and men drink nasty things.

Originally this was also true of bourbon, until it became sissified through aging and other such boutique endeavors. Its true nature is of Scots-Irish lifeblood, the stuff of rebellion against "what have you got?"
 
2013-02-22 08:45:15 PM  

illannoyin: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 640x480]

/Only a couple inches on the ground
//Already drunk


Someone likes their lagers.
 
2013-02-22 10:08:57 PM  

Gyrfalcon: We had a very unusual heat wave this summer in So Cal (bizarre enough, but okay). The hardware store across the street must have run plumb out of fans, because they had a big sign posted "WE HAVE FANS" on days when they were stocked. It came down when they ran out. I recall thinking WTF? This is Southern California! It gets into the high 90's every summer! Are you just now noticing that you need fans? Have you been hot and sweaty for the last ten years? Why wait till it's 110 degrees before deciding "Uh, Mabel? Pick up a couple window fans when you're at the market next time, it's a tad warmish."

And yeah, snow prep. When I lived at Lake Tahoe, you kept a shovel, a parka, and a bag of sand in your car year-round. Usually at least a box of granola bars and some water too.


When I lived in San Diego I pretty much ended up buying one fan a year.  Either I had just moved out there and didn't bother packing a fan, or a previous roommate had taken the one I bought the previous summer when they had moved out, or I had moved and forgotten to grab it out of the garage, or it had fallen out the window since I had last really needed it so I just put off buying another.  Having one just wasn't a priority, and once I bought one because I was feeling lazy and didn't want to dig through a storage unit that was 25 miles away when I was already at a store that had them in stock when it was 95 degrees out.

When it's something that's really infrequently used, you just kind of forget about keeping one around.  I doubt I could find a shovel in my house right now if it started snowing only because I've moved since it last snowed here.  If I saw one for sale at a store I was at anyway I'd probably just buy one if it was under $10.  Maybe I'd end up with two shovels, or maybe I left my old shovel in the last place's basement.  I dunno, might as well just grab one.

It's not the best excuse, but sometimes it's easier to just buy a new whatever that you rarely use than spend a few hours finding the cheap one you bought last time this happened.
 
Displayed 99 of 99 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report