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(Boomstick Comics)   Megan Fox will star in Michael Bay's 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' reboot. And yes there will be a ninja rap   (boomstickcomics.com) divider line 100
    More: Asinine, Megan Fox, Michael Bay, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Jonathan Liebesman, reboot, Wrath of the Titans, Corey Feldman, Hip hop  
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3633 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 22 Feb 2013 at 6:15 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-22 12:28:27 PM

ShawnDoc: I though Bay blacklisted Fox from any of his movies?


Maybe his car got dirty again.
 
2013-02-22 12:30:05 PM

Pappas: calufrax: Okay, own up - who keeps giving Michael Bay money?

I can wait all day until who ever did it admits...

A group of people collectively known as America. Maybe you've heard of them.


I hear they've been through the desert on a horse with no name...
 
2013-02-22 12:47:19 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Pappas: calufrax: Okay, own up - who keeps giving Michael Bay money?

I can wait all day until who ever did it admits...

A group of people collectively known as America. Maybe you've heard of them.

I hear they've been through the desert on a horse with no name...


Well, I'll be singing THAT for the rest of the day.

/Oz never did give nothing to the tin man...
 
2013-02-22 12:50:41 PM
First they destroyed masterpieces like Dukes of Hazzard and and I said nothing.  Then they went after artistic triumphs like Starsky and Hutch and still I said nothing.  But now that they're redoing a cartoon book about turtles that are ninjas, they have gone too far!  My childhood is RUINED!
 
2013-02-22 12:51:43 PM

stoli n coke: ShawnDoc: I though Bay blacklisted Fox from any of his movies?

That was Spielberg. His company wrote the checks for the Transformers movies. If TMNT is bankrolled by a different producer, Bay can hire who he wants.


Ah ok, I thought it was Bay who she pissed off when she biatched about what a crappy movie TF2 was.

The movie will probably still suck, though.

Well of course, Bay is directing it.
 
2013-02-22 12:52:50 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Nonrepeating Rotating Binary: How does this biatch keep getting work?

golfball through a garden hose, man.

Actually, to get work like she still does with little to no talent, it may be a watermelon through a drinking straw.


ow! not sure if want?
 
2013-02-22 12:55:23 PM

Pincy: Are they going to digitally crop out the toe thumbs?


They do make her look part turtle
 
2013-02-22 12:56:35 PM

Rapmaster2000: First they destroyed masterpieces like Dukes of Hazzard and and I said nothing.  Then they went after artistic triumphs like Starsky and Hutch and still I said nothing.  But now that they're redoing a cartoon book about turtles that are ninjas, they have gone too far!  My childhood is RUINED!


2.bp.blogspot.com

The line must be drawn HEAUH. This fahr. No Farthuar.
 
2013-02-22 01:01:24 PM

TrainingWheelsNeeded: FirstNationalBastard: Nonrepeating Rotating Binary: How does this biatch keep getting work?

golfball through a garden hose, man.

Actually, to get work like she still does with little to no talent, it may be a watermelon through a drinking straw.

ow! not sure if want?


I'm betting on the latter after seeing the "This is 40" promo with Triumph interviewing the stars of that movie. I'd bet cash that Megan had no idea what the fark was going on. She had such a brain dead expression on her face the whole time and I know she's not that good of an actress.
 
2013-02-22 01:10:02 PM
Welp, I am no longer interested in this movie.

Ill just stick with the new CGI show on Nick.  It is pretty hilarious.
 
2013-02-22 01:13:30 PM

MmmmBacon: ShawnDoc: I though Bay blacklisted Fox from any of his movies?

Bewbs. Blow jobs. That is all.

 
2013-02-22 01:15:54 PM

Norfolking Chance: PsyLord: Guess she didn't burn that bridge after all.

This is Hollywood. The only thing that matter is the $


Somebody better call up Charlie Sheen.

Nonrepeating Rotating Binary: How does this biatch keep getting work?


Wait, have we shifted our discussion to Lindsay Lohan?
 
2013-02-22 01:29:42 PM
I assume she'll be playing April O'Cleavage.
 
2013-02-22 01:44:28 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Oh man, this is gonna suck.
 
2013-02-22 01:47:19 PM
I watched a couple of episodes of the new TMNT show on Nickelodeon, and I hated the Animation so much that I simply couldn't keep watching.
 
2013-02-22 02:06:27 PM

Sergeant Grumbles: Here are some:


Emma Stone is not a natural redhead.

This does not disqualify her from anything in my book.
 
2013-02-22 02:14:13 PM

Soup4Bonnie: Emma Stone is not a natural redhead.


My apologies. I thought she was natural, and just used movie magic to enhance the look.
 
2013-02-22 02:14:14 PM
The real question is which turtle is going to be an insensitive racial stereotype.
 
2013-02-22 02:14:37 PM
Soup4Bonnie:
Emma Stone is not a natural redhead.

This does not disqualify her from anything in my book.
bunk

FTFM
 
2013-02-22 02:24:02 PM

Sergeant Grumbles: My apologies. I thought she was natural, and just used movie magic to enhance the look.


I think she should be a redhead in everything.  I also think she needs to make out with Kat Dennings.
 
2013-02-22 02:26:35 PM

Pappas: calufrax: Okay, own up - who keeps giving Michael Bay money?

I can wait all day until who ever did it admits...

A group of people collectively known as America everyone in the world. Maybe you've heard of them.


Most of his movies do better overseas than domestically.  Europe and China love big-budget, low-dialogue action flicks.

Worldwide (Unadjusted)
RankTitle (click to view)StudioWorldwideDomestic /%Overseas /%Year1Transformers: Dark of the MoonP/DW$1,123.7$352.431.4%$771.468.6%20112Trans formers: Revenge of the FallenP/DW$836.3$402.148.1%$434.251.9%20093http:/ /www.boxofficemojo.com/movies/?id=transformers06.htm" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 128); text-decoration: initial;">TransformersP/DW$709.7$319.245%$390.555%20 074ArmageddonBV$553.7$201.636.4%$352.163.6%1998 5Pearl HarborBV$449.2$198.544.2%$250.755.8%20016The RockBV$335.1$134.140%$201.060%19967Bad Boys IISony$273.3$138.650.7%$134.749.3%20038The IslandDW$162.9$35.822%$127.178%20059Bad BoysSony$141.4$65.846.5%$75.653.5%1995
 
2013-02-22 02:44:15 PM
I think I read something about this on Aint It Cool.

It's going to take place in Manhattan of course but there's a twist.  After Donatello publicly kills himself and Leonardo falls deep into heroin addiction Michelangelo and Raphael step up and seek the help of SVU Detective Olivia Benson (played by Mariska Hargitay) and former SVU Detective Elliot Stabler (played by Christopher Elliot) to try and taken down the biggest pedo ever, Master Splinter.

SVU thought was Master Splinter was only a rumor until Michelangelo and Raphael spoke up.  With the help of a bestiality trick turning reporting April O'Neill they will uncover a scandal that goes all the way to 1PP.

At least I think I read something like that...a detail or two might be off...
 
2013-02-22 02:45:25 PM
good lord...typo much...
 
2013-02-22 02:46:52 PM

Jim from Saint Paul: Rapmaster2000: First they destroyed masterpieces like Dukes of Hazzard and and I said nothing.  Then they went after artistic triumphs like Starsky and Hutch and still I said nothing.  But now that they're redoing a cartoon book about turtles that are ninjas, they have gone too far!  My childhood is RUINED!

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 600x253]

The line must be drawn HEAUH. This fahr. No Farthuar.


'Captain Ahab has to go get his whale.'
 
2013-02-22 03:01:45 PM

Lt. Cheese Weasel: Jim from Saint Paul: Rapmaster2000: First they destroyed masterpieces like Dukes of Hazzard and and I said nothing.  Then they went after artistic triumphs like Starsky and Hutch and still I said nothing.  But now that they're redoing a cartoon book about turtles that are ninjas, they have gone too far!  My childhood is RUINED!

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 600x253]

The line must be drawn HEAUH. This fahr. No Farthuar.

'Captain Ahab has to go get his whale.'



"You broke your little ships."
 
2013-02-22 03:47:20 PM
Too bad TMNT doesn't have the word 'Star' included in the title somewhere, or else they could have gotten JJ Abrams to direct.
 
2013-02-22 04:00:37 PM
I was probably a bigger fan of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as a kid than all of you. As a grown up I don't give two shiats about it and am fairly certain if I went back and watched the old shows they'd be terrible. I did want to read this thread for the Michael Bay hate parade because we can all agree that while he's rich his legacy is a complete joke.
 
2013-02-22 04:08:33 PM
browntimmy: As a grown up I don't give two shiats about it and am fairly certain if I went back and watched the old shows they'd be terrible.

Good, don't ever watch them again.  They are terrible.

Some things have held up (Muppet Babies, Animaniacs).  Some things haven't (David the Gnome, Turtles).
 
2013-02-22 04:35:24 PM

spman: I watched a couple of episodes of the new TMNT show on Nickelodeon, and I hated the Animation so much that I simply couldn't keep watching.


really? I thought it pretty slick. What are some examples of animation that you admire?
 
2013-02-22 04:54:22 PM

fallingcow: browntimmy: As a grown up I don't give two shiats about it and am fairly certain if I went back and watched the old shows they'd be terrible.

Good, don't ever watch them again.  They are terrible.

Some things have held up (Muppet Babies, Animaniacs).  Some things haven't (David the Gnome, Turtles).


I still like the original Turtles movie and watch it from time to time.  It really is quality especially considering the era and target audience.  Everything after sucked.
 
2013-02-22 04:58:56 PM

spman: I watched a couple of episodes of the new TMNT show on Nickelodeon, and I hated the Animation so much that I simply couldn't keep watching.


Oh... oh god.  I just watched some of it on their site.  Holy fark that's bad.

/ Is Michelangelo a girl now?  I didn't have the sound on.
 
2013-02-22 05:08:31 PM
i.imgur.com

/Seems appropriate
 
2013-02-22 05:12:59 PM

give me doughnuts: Can we take it back to when Eastman and Laird were still writing the comic? I don't want to sound like some kind of hipster douche-bag, but the Turtles were much better before they got turned into a kids' show with color-coded masks.

They still made cheesy puns and smart-assed wisecracks, but the comic was dark and gritty. The sword had an edge. The sais had points. The 'chuks and staff broke bones. The Shredder got a freakin' thermite grenade dropped down the back of his armor.


The original comics were a parody of the fads that then existed in comics - teenage superheroes, mutants, ninjas, and cute anthropomorphic animals. Of course, they transcended that and became big in their own right, but I'm not sure their original focus would really mean much to contemporary viewers.
 
2013-02-22 05:43:11 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-22 05:59:50 PM

germ78: Too bad TMNT doesn't have the word 'Star' included in the title somewhere, or else they could have gotten JJ Abrams to direct.


Careful! You could get a pretty bad sprain reaching for a joke like that.
 
2013-02-22 06:02:23 PM

fallingcow: browntimmy: As a grown up I don't give two shiats about it and am fairly certain if I went back and watched the old shows they'd be terrible.

Good, don't ever watch them again.  They are terrible.

Some things have held up (Muppet Babies, Animaniacs).  Some things haven't (David the Gnome, Turtles).


I can't imagine Animaniacs not holding up. I was told about it when I was a kid by my sister who was in college at the time. So the writing certainly aimed for a broader audience than the after school tween set that I was in back then.
 
2013-02-22 06:08:20 PM
Wake me when The Adolescent Radioactive Black Belt Hamsters get a picture deal.

/kick being had, etc.
 
2013-02-22 06:11:17 PM

jrodnewb: I think I read something about this on Aint It Cool.

It's going to take place in Manhattan of course but there's a twist.  After Donatello publicly kills himself and Leonardo falls deep into heroin addiction Michelangelo and Raphael step up and seek the help of SVU Detective Olivia Benson (played by Mariska Hargitay) and former SVU Detective Elliot Stabler (played by Christopher Elliot) to try and taken down the biggest pedo ever, Master Splinter.

SVU thought was Master Splinter was only a rumor until Michelangelo and Raphael spoke up.  With the help of a bestiality trick turning reporting April O'Neill they will uncover a scandal that goes all the way to 1PP.

At least I think I read something like that...a detail or two might be off...


If you could find a way to work the season 20 cast of Law and Order classic, and maybe Chris Noth, into this, it would be be the best thing ever.

/as it is, it's better than anything Michael Bay will ever have his name attached to.
 
2013-02-22 07:08:18 PM

skinink: Why is Megan Fox still doing cheesy action movies? Jodie Foster and Natalie Portman were acting in more serious movies when they were still teens. Megan needs to move on to better roles even if she's in a low budget indie.


Might be due to her pissing off Steven Spielberg  once and maybe got black listed?
 
2013-02-22 07:36:55 PM

MmmmBacon: I thought TMNT was a dead project, after word spread of what Bay wanted to do to the franchise?


It was delayed indefinitely.  Despite what you may have heard, indefinite is not synonymous with infinitely.  Sadly they are now casting...At least Bay isn't directing.  Just getting his producer juices all over it.  The director is the captain of such films as:

The Clash of the Titans Remake Sequel

The Battle for Los Angeles

and

The prequel to the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

So...The obvious choice for a TMNT movie.
 
2013-02-22 08:09:19 PM

Sergeant Grumbles: Come on.
At least.... AT LEAST.... get an actual hot redhead to play April. There are more than enough for any kind of April you could write for.
You do not need Megan Fox to slut up another movie. There are more than enough hot redheads who could produce just as much sexual attraction WITHOUT TRYING.

Here are some:
[www.nndb.com image 240x309]
[www.mamapop.com image 272x300]
[images3.wikia.nocookie.net image 345x406]


Mmmmm...fail?
Two of those aren't redheads!
 
2013-02-22 08:16:14 PM

Jim from Saint Paul: This is the Tutrtles movie you should be watching.


give me doughnuts: Can we take it back to when Eastman and Laird were still writing the comic? I don't want to sound like some kind of hipster douche-bag, but the Turtles were much better before they got turned into a kids' show with color-coded masks.

They still made cheesy puns and smart-assed wisecracks, but the comic was dark and gritty. The sword had an edge. The sais had points. The 'chuks and staff broke bones. The Shredder got a freakin' thermite grenade dropped down the back of his armor.


Relevant part of Jim's link, at the right moment in time: http://youtu.be/Csn1j65e7oQ?t=1h1m2s
 
2013-02-22 08:22:55 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: FirstNationalBastard: Well, they've found a way to make Vanilla Ice not the worst thing to ever appear in a TMNT movie.

Bravo.

/go ninja, go ninja, go.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 556x576]

If she does not talk, and keeps her hands out of the frame, then she's perfect.


   Amen brother.....toe thumbs!   I'd rather she was missing an eye or something.
 
2013-02-22 09:57:35 PM
I could think of TWO better actresses to play her:

-Karen Gillian (of Dr Who fame)

and

-Jenna Louise Coleman (also of Dr Who fame)...just dye her hair red or something

/on a Dr Who kick
 
2013-02-22 10:07:32 PM
Anna Kendrick is the only actress who can accurately portray the April O'Neill of my childhood.  Plus, she's already acted with muppets.
 
2013-02-22 11:35:42 PM

Pappas: calufrax: Okay, own up - who keeps giving Michael Bay money?

I can wait all day until who ever did it admits...

A group of people collectively known as America. Maybe you've heard of them.


Actually, one of the reasons that Hollywood product has been dumbed down over the last several decades is that the global market is increasingly important and often where movies become profitable. Big, dumb movies are most profitable across global markets so that's what investors bankroll.  Example

This is not because foreign moviegoers are less sophisticated, it's because lowest-common-denominator films don't lose anything in translation; French indie movies are not well received in Russia.

So it's not any one culture's fault. Globalization has made the far-flung collective of least-demanding moviegoers the single most attractive audience for return on investment.
 
2013-02-23 09:00:25 AM

give me doughnuts: Can we take it back to when Eastman and Laird were still writing the comic? I don't want to sound like some kind of hipster douche-bag, but the Turtles were much better before they got turned into a kids' show with color-coded masks.

They still made cheesy puns and smart-assed wisecracks, but the comic was dark and gritty. The sword had an edge. The sais had points. The 'chuks and staff broke bones. The Shredder got a freakin' thermite grenade dropped down the back of his armor.


hipster douche-bag
 
2013-02-23 02:05:15 PM
Did someone say Ninja Rap?
i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-24 12:38:33 AM
As long as her vagina plays Krang, I'll go see it.
 
2013-02-24 03:12:55 AM

stoli n coke: ShawnDoc: I though Bay blacklisted Fox from any of his movies?

That was Spielberg. His company wrote the checks for the Transformers movies. If TMNT is bankrolled by a different producer, Bay can hire who he wants.

The movie will probably still suck, though.


So Spielberg *was* the producer-director she was talking about being disappointed by when he put the moves on her?
 
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