If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Fox News)   The U2 spy plane has been patrolling the world for almost 60 years, so damn skippy its pilots should eat gourmet in-flight meals, delivered through special heated ports in their helmets   (foxnews.com) divider line 108
    More: Cool, Lockheed U-2, spy planes, in-flight meal, Natick, Engineering Center, physics experiment, edge of space, toothpaste  
•       •       •

13367 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Feb 2013 at 2:41 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



108 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-02-21 12:31:22 PM
"Ballet dancer turned defense specialist Allison Barrie has traveled around the world covering the military, terrorism, weapons advancements and life on the front line. "

Giggity!
 
2013-02-21 12:44:28 PM
They still haven't found what they're looking for?

/ ba-dump-bump
/ It's alright, it's alright, alright
 
2013-02-21 02:46:38 PM

Elzar: They still haven't found what they're looking for?


Awful pun. I bet you live Where the Streets have No Name.
 
2013-02-21 02:47:57 PM
After 60 years you'd think we'd let them come down for a pee break or something.
 
2013-02-21 02:48:49 PM

Elzar: They still haven't found what they're looking for?


Frig. I can't believe the news today.
 
2013-02-21 02:48:49 PM
The cockpit has meal heaters. The ports are NOT heated, you near-sighted, reading-challenged, Neanderthalic pinhead stupidmitter.

Ah, that felt good.
 
2013-02-21 02:48:52 PM
Gourmet viddles patriotically shat through a tube directly into my yap?
To think of all these years I've wasted using a knife & fork!
 
2013-02-21 02:49:50 PM

Fear_and_Loathing: "Ballet dancer turned defense specialist Allison Barrie has traveled around the world covering the military, terrorism, weapons advancements and life on the front line. "

Giggity!


That's just too much for one fantasy. I'll likely be on disability by April.
 
2013-02-21 02:51:39 PM

CygnusDarius: Elzar: They still haven't found what they're looking for?

Awful pun. I bet you live Where the Streets have No Name.


They use the plane to try and find an Exit.  It is important to avoid an Electrical Storm, even on a Beautiful Day, as you wouldn't want to get Out of Control, especially in October or on New Year's Day.   The thing can move fast in Seconds, so you have to stay Wide Awake in America and not fly like some Party Girl.

/etc.
 
2013-02-21 02:55:42 PM
When those planes take off, I bet it makes quite a Rattle and Hum, and the speed can cause Vertigo.  With No Line On The Horizon, you can reach a Moment Of Surrender that may leave you Stuck In A Moment, such that you briefly consider Surrender.  I Fall Down when I think of the Unforgettable Fire caused by the jet exhaust which is known to Exit from the engine.  If you Desire to become a U2 pilot it takes lots of training at a facility in the City Of Blinding Lights.  The planes are manufactured In God's Country, in a Red Hill Mining Town and they need lots of Wire to avoid making a Bad plane.  They make quite a sound, and with their stealth technology they certainly can move in Mysterious Ways, often operating above the Ultraviolet spectrum.  They are very speedy, hitting maximum speed in Seconds, often making you feel like Running to Stand Still.
 
2013-02-21 02:56:18 PM

ObscureNameHere: They use the plane to try and find an Exit. It is important to avoid an Electrical Storm, even on a Beautiful Day, as you wouldn't want to get Out of Control, especially in October or on New Year's Day. The thing can move fast in Seconds, so you have to stay Wide Awake in America and not fly like some Party Girl.


curse you and three farking precious Seconds.
 
2013-02-21 02:58:49 PM
Listening to U2 right now so getting a kick...

/New Year's Day FTW
 
2013-02-21 02:58:57 PM

ObscureNameHere: CygnusDarius: Elzar: They still haven't found what they're looking for?

Awful pun. I bet you live Where the Streets have No Name.

They use the plane to try and find an Exit.  It is important to avoid an Electrical Storm, even on a Beautiful Day, as you wouldn't want to get Out of Control, especially in October or on New Year's Day.   The thing can move fast in Seconds, so you have to stay Wide Awake in America and not fly like some Party Girl.

/etc.


Are you from Joshua Tree by any chance?
 
2013-02-21 02:59:00 PM

ObscureNameHere: CygnusDarius: Elzar: They still haven't found what they're looking for?

Awful pun. I bet you live Where the Streets have No Name.

They use the plane to try and find an Exit.  It is important to avoid an Electrical Storm, even on a Beautiful Day, as you wouldn't want to get Out of Control, especially in October or on New Year's Day.   The thing can move fast in Seconds, so you have to stay Wide Awake in America and not fly like some Party Girl.

/etc.


YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!!
 
2013-02-21 02:59:32 PM

rickythepenguin: ObscureNameHere: They use the plane to try and find an Exit. It is important to avoid an Electrical Storm, even on a Beautiful Day, as you wouldn't want to get Out of Control, especially in October or on New Year's Day. The thing can move fast in Seconds, so you have to stay Wide Awake in America and not fly like some Party Girl.

curse you and three farking precious Seconds.


It wasn't at all worth any effort by anyone - feel better?
 
2013-02-21 03:00:23 PM
Awful pun. I bet you live Where the Streets have No Name.

Oh  Allison Barrie, (I Can't Take My Eyes Off You).
 
2013-02-21 03:00:40 PM
good video of a u2 flight...and some mention of the meals..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PmYItnlY5M
 
2013-02-21 03:02:29 PM
Am I the only one blown away by the author's bio?

"Ballet dancer turned defense specialist Allison Barrie has traveled around the world covering the military, terrorism, weapons advancements and life on the front line."

How does one go from en dedans to in defense?
 
2013-02-21 03:02:40 PM
U2 gags notwithstanding, I had no idea that these planes were still in front-line operation. That's a damn good piece of aviation design to be still functional even after the Blackbird packed it in.
 
2013-02-21 03:05:24 PM

Five Tails of Fury: That's a damn good piece of aviation design to be still functional even after the Blackbird packed it in.



Pffft.  60 years for outdated, unreliable technology?  Get with the program and modernize your fleet.  Chicks dig the new models, grandpa.

Respectfully,

V-22 Osprey
B-1B
F-22
 
2013-02-21 03:08:56 PM

Fear_and_Loathing: "Ballet dancer turned defense specialist Allison Barrie has traveled around the world covering the military, terrorism, weapons advancements and life on the front line. "

Giggity!


That's a man, baby!
 
2013-02-21 03:09:25 PM

rickythepenguin: ObscureNameHere: They use the plane to try and find an Exit. It is important to avoid an Electrical Storm, even on a Beautiful Day, as you wouldn't want to get Out of Control, especially in October or on New Year's Day. The thing can move fast in Seconds, so you have to stay Wide Awake in America and not fly like some Party Girl.

curse you and three farking precious Seconds.


Push the button, pull the plug, say goodbye --oh!oh!oh!
Save our lives.

/where you going tonight?
 
2013-02-21 03:12:09 PM

caddisfly: Am I the only one blown away by the author's bio?

"Ballet dancer turned defense specialist Allison Barrie has traveled around the world covering the military, terrorism, weapons advancements and life on the front line."

How does one go from en dedans to in defense?


Well, she doesn't have a wikipedia page. But my guess is: one is a ballet dancer who majors in journalism, gets a job for Newscorp, and - as is the case with most jobs - makes a good impression on the "right" people in order to move up to a position where people actually know your name.
 
2013-02-21 03:14:57 PM

ObscureNameHere: CygnusDarius: Elzar: They still haven't found what they're looking for?

Awful pun. I bet you live Where the Streets have No Name.

They use the plane to try and find an Exit.  It is important to avoid an Electrical Storm, even on a Beautiful Day, as you wouldn't want to get Out of Control, especially in October or on New Year's Day.   The thing can move fast in Seconds, so you have to stay Wide Awake in America and not fly like some Party Girl.

/etc.


It's a beautiful day for puns, guys... I don't know what we'd do with or without you.
 
2013-02-21 03:15:08 PM

cwheelie: ObscureNameHere: CygnusDarius: Elzar: They still haven't found what they're looking for?

Awful pun. I bet you live Where the Streets have No Name.

They use the plane to try and find an Exit.  It is important to avoid an Electrical Storm, even on a Beautiful Day, as you wouldn't want to get Out of Control, especially in October or on New Year's Day.   The thing can move fast in Seconds, so you have to stay Wide Awake in America and not fly like some Party Girl.

/etc.

Are you from Joshua Tree by any chance?


Nope, just a Stranger in a Strange land.

/he looked at me like I was the one who should run...
 
2013-02-21 03:17:20 PM
FTFA: Today's model is 40 percent larger and carries four times the intelligence collection payload than the originals, with a wide variety of sensors. U2s provide many key capabilities, from aerial eavesdropping to surveying dirt patterns in Iraq and Afghanistan to flag signs of hidden IEDs.

I remember hearing that the U2 was incredibly difficult to fly. Supposedly it was ready to go out of control at any moment, so it took incredible concentration and effort by the pilot. Anyone know if they've gotten any better in that respect? After 60 years, one would think they have made some improvements, but who knows.
 
2013-02-21 03:19:22 PM
Is that all on one tank of fuel?
 
2013-02-21 03:20:51 PM

cyberspacedout: It's a beautiful day for puns, guys... I don't know what we'd do with or without you.



the U2 can fly higher than a Kite, you know.

/im a man, not a child.
 
2013-02-21 03:22:08 PM
FTA: Also known as the "Dragon Lady," the U-2 flies at 70,000 feet gathering surveillance data anywhere in the world with more flexibility than satellites.

Johnny take a walk with your sister the moon
 
2013-02-21 03:28:12 PM
Here they are, mods!  All of the dumbasses who threadshiat with punny references, all rounded up into one thread.  Start the mass-ban!
 
2013-02-21 03:32:13 PM

endmile: FTFA: Today's model is 40 percent larger and carries four times the intelligence collection payload than the originals, with a wide variety of sensors. U2s provide many key capabilities, from aerial eavesdropping to surveying dirt patterns in Iraq and Afghanistan to flag signs of hidden IEDs.

I remember hearing that the U2 was incredibly difficult to fly. Supposedly it was ready to go out of control at any moment, so it took incredible concentration and effort by the pilot. Anyone know if they've gotten any better in that respect? After 60 years, one would think they have made some improvements, but who knows.


At cruise the tricky part is the difference between VNE (the speed you must never exceed) and stall (the speed the thing will fall out of the sky) is only about six knots. Imagine driving half way across the US with a car that will blow up if you go over 75 and crash if you go below 70.
 
2013-02-21 03:33:12 PM

Whiskey Dickens: Here they are, mods!  All of the dumbasses who threadshiat with punny references, all rounded up into one thread.  Start the mass-ban!


So Whiskey Dickens comes up to me, with his anger red like a rose bush, like all the colors of a royal flush, and he's peelin' off them trolly posts, one hundred!  two hundred!  and I can see those U2 planes, I can see those U2 planes, into the mudhuts where the Mods sleep, and into the valleys and quiet city streets.

You take a staircase to threat 7605418, turn the key and slowly unlock the door, a man breathes into a saxophone, and into the thread you hear the butthurt moan.  who runs, who runs, who runs into......the arms of the Mods.
 
2013-02-21 03:34:11 PM
global.fncstatic.com

What happened to her jaw?
 
2013-02-21 03:36:27 PM

Flint Ironstag: . Imagine driving half way across the US with a car that will blow up if you go over 75 and crash if you go below 70.



well I guess SOMEONE was too cheap to add the cruise control package
 
2013-02-21 03:42:57 PM
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

*sniff*
 
2013-02-21 03:42:57 PM
I recommend reading and watching the information provided by the USAF. It came out a couple weeks ago, I guess it took a while to re-package it for Fox News.

http://www.af.mil/news/story.asp?id=123335511
 
2013-02-21 03:45:59 PM

Whiskey Dickens: Here they are, mods!  All of the dumbasses who threadshiat with punny references, all rounded up into one thread.  Start the mass-ban!


You'd better sit down for a spell fella, I think you're experiencing Vertigo.
 
2013-02-21 03:46:22 PM
I don't know how I'd feel being at that Elevation, knowing while I was up there it could be the Last Night on Earth.  I would Breathe the oxygen and look from my Window In The Skies and occasionally be Staring At The Sun, and hope there would be Love And Peace Or Else.

It would be Even Better Than The Real Thing knowing I could make it home to my Party Girl.  It would be The Sweetest Thing to know I could land and worship The Ground Beneath Her Feet.  It would be Magnificent to know God Will Send His Angels so I could have A Sort Of Homecoming and feel our Two Hearts Beat As One.
 
2013-02-21 03:48:21 PM
Maximum service-life Cold War aircraft or maximum service-life Cold War band? You decide: U2 and the B-52s. Throw in the SR-71, that's a Skunkworks trifecta.
 
2013-02-21 03:48:25 PM

Flint Ironstag: At cruise the tricky part is the difference between VNE (the speed you must never exceed) and stall (the speed the thing will fall out of the sky) is only about six knots. Imagine driving half way across the US with a car that will blow up if you go over 75 and crash if you go below 70.


I remember that movie.  I think it was called "The Bus that Couldn't Slow Down."
 
2013-02-21 03:52:35 PM
One question is - are we using the U2 because it's still the most effective tool in our arsenal in the ROI sense, or because it distracts from more effective classified tools?
 
2013-02-21 03:53:10 PM
I understand they are very difficult to fly at night as sunglasses are required to be worn at all times.
 
2013-02-21 03:55:44 PM

MythDragon: [encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com image 251x201]

*sniff*


I don't believe for one second that the military had retired that plane!

/I swear I heard one flying overhead just the other night.
 
2013-02-21 03:56:02 PM

Somaticasual: or because it distracts from more effective classified tools?


i think column A, column B.  I think I read somewhere that at the height it operates, it is beyond the range of pretty much any weapon, which is the column A answer, but also that it remains just a perfectly outstanding platform to augment existing ways of acquiring intelligence.  it isn't limited as a satellite's trajectory/track is and can be deployed precisely to where it is needed.
 
2013-02-21 03:57:07 PM
At least, maybe with all this drone tech now we can let them land once and a while even, I mean how old are these guys now like 80 something, come on I think they've served there time.
 
2013-02-21 04:00:34 PM

MythDragon: [encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com image 251x201]

*sniff*


I'll second that.
 
2013-02-21 04:00:51 PM

Elzar: They still haven't found what they're looking for?


i.imm.io
 
2013-02-21 04:08:59 PM
There was a story a few months ago about how U2 pilots use Camaros to guide the planes in for landings
 
2013-02-21 04:11:03 PM
I would like caffeinated chocolate pudding I could drink through a straw
 
2013-02-21 04:16:16 PM

Tanukis_Parachute: good video of a u2 flight...and some mention of the meals..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PmYItnlY5M


Obviously this is just further proof that we all went wrong in life.  We should have gotten a gig hosting Top Gear.
 
Displayed 50 of 108 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report