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(Wired)   How to win at Monopoly in just four turns   (wired.com) divider line 73
    More: Interesting, Game Over, boardwalks  
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2013-02-21 09:36:21 AM
The only way to win at Monopoly is to not play.
 
2013-02-21 09:43:47 AM
Step one: kill your friends.
 
2013-02-21 09:44:18 AM
1. Roll dice
2. Move piece
3. Realize you just signed yourself up for 11 1/2 hours of boredom and flip table over
4. Open beer

Congratulations!
 
2013-02-21 09:46:42 AM
I'm sorry, but any "strategy" to win that relies on you rolling doubles every turn and requires your opponents to make unfortunate rolls is no better than wishful thinking.
 
2013-02-21 09:51:15 AM

naughtyrev: I'm sorry, but any "strategy" to win that relies on you rolling doubles every turn and requires your opponents to make unfortunate rolls is no better than wishful thinking.


Not only that, but it requires that your opponent make the worst possible decisions. Not buying railroads and paying more than you have to for the income tax? Who would be that stupid?
 
2013-02-21 09:59:39 AM
fta: (There's probably a moral lesson in there about capitalism, but that's something we'll save for another day.)

The original Monopoly game was invented by a socialist who wanted to show the dangers of monopolies and untrammeled capitalism in a way that even children and the simple minded could understand.

Nobody seems to get that now.
 
2013-02-21 10:03:40 AM
But how do you get the satisfaction and joy of crushing your opponent's morale as they mortgage all of their properties to pay you rent?
 
2013-02-21 10:05:27 AM

naughtyrev: I'm sorry, but any "strategy" to win that relies on you rolling doubles every turn and requires your opponents to make unfortunate rolls is no better than wishful thinking.


I think it's the statistically possible shortest game.

Might as well have one player just keep rolling doubles and buy up all the properties.
 
2013-02-21 10:06:24 AM

ArkAngel: Not only that, but it requires that your opponent make the worst possible decisions. Not buying railroads and paying more than you have to for the income tax? Who would be that stupid?


The actual article isn't really about any sort of strategy. It's just looking at possible decisions that <i>could</i> be made and determining which ones would result in the shortest possible game. The income tax thing doesn't really matter in this case. You start with $1500. If you paid 10% instead of $200, you'd be paying $150, which leaves you with $1,350 and nothing to mortgage, so you still get bankrupted when you hit Boardwalk and its $1,400 in rent.
 
2013-02-21 10:33:07 AM
 
2013-02-21 11:25:43 AM
FTA: "...and go play something friendlier, like Risk."


Oh, yeah. Much friendlier.
 
2013-02-21 11:25:46 AM
They're not following the actual game rules since they don't buy or auction off the properties they're landing on.
 
2013-02-21 11:26:11 AM

quatchi: fta: (There's probably a moral lesson in there about capitalism, but that's something we'll save for another day.)

The original Monopoly game was invented by a socialist who wanted to show the dangers of monopolies and untrammeled capitalism in a way that even children and the simple minded could understand.

Nobody seems to get that now.


Apparently his socialism was even more simple minded.
 
kab
2013-02-21 11:29:42 AM
Apparently, 'get good rng' is deemed a strategy.

/who am I kidding, that works with real money too.
 
2013-02-21 11:30:47 AM
Our rules: 3 doubles in a row= go to jail!
 
2013-02-21 11:34:08 AM
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
 
2013-02-21 11:37:44 AM
The best "trick" I know of in Monopoly is to buy 4 houses for each of your properties, and never turn them into hotels. Once you run out of the little plastic houses, no one else can buy any.
 
2013-02-21 11:42:34 AM
9:30 - hey we need something by 10, whatever you got is fine
9:35 - here, i was playing monopoly last night and thought of this
BREAK time!
 
2013-02-21 11:42:58 AM

Kangaroo_Ralph: The best "trick" I know of in Monopoly is to buy 4 houses for each of your properties, and never turn them into hotels. Once you run out of the little plastic houses, no one else can buy any.


Exactly. Create an artificial housing shortage
 
2013-02-21 11:50:20 AM
One thing to keep the games short is to never play with house rules. The Free Parking lottery artificially prolongs the game.
 
2013-02-21 11:51:26 AM

quatchi: fta: (There's probably a moral lesson in there about capitalism, but that's something we'll save for another day.)

The original Monopoly game was invented by a socialist who wanted to show the dangers of monopolies and untrammeled capitalism in a way that even children and the simple minded could understand.

Nobody seems to get that now.


Well fark. That explains why Monopoly is such a boring game, it is supposed to be a teaching tool. No game made for teaching is ever interesting.
 
2013-02-21 11:51:56 AM
after which you can go on to play something much friendlier, like Risk...


Risk... the marriage ender.
 
2013-02-21 11:52:10 AM
Trivial Q - is it called "Park Place" in US or is that a typo?
 
2013-02-21 11:53:04 AM
 
2013-02-21 11:53:18 AM
A Monopoly game with only 2 people?  Risk would be more fun.
 
2013-02-21 11:54:06 AM

angrymacface: They're not following the actual game rules since they don't buy or auction off the properties they're landing on.


You'd be surprised that most people don't even know that auctioning properties is in the rules.  It makes the game a bit more cut throat, so it's oftened not used in more family friendly versions of the game.  Unfortunately, without it games can drag on seemingly endlessly.

/Played a game with a friend family once, with no auction
//No one would trade properties either (seriously, 2 hours in and I tried to make a trade that would have given me one of the worst property sets on the board and given them 3 railroads and 2 monopolies....they refused)
///4 hours of them contentedly circling the board, trading fake money.  No winner and it "cured" me of ever wanting to play that farking game ever again
 
2013-02-21 11:54:52 AM

doglover: naughtyrev: I'm sorry, but any "strategy" to win that relies on you rolling doubles every turn and requires your opponents to make unfortunate rolls is no better than wishful thinking.

I think it's the statistically possible shortest game.

Might as well have one player just keep rolling doubles and buy up all the properties.


You cannot do that, a double is invariably an even and the game board has even number of spaces.  You would have to roll doubles until you purchase all the evens and then role an odd... let everyone else go then continue on you mathmatically improbable double streak.

maybe you could land on chance and shift to the odds and do it in one go?
 
2013-02-21 11:55:11 AM

mjjt: Trivial Q - is it called "Park Place" in US or is that a typo?


Of course it's Park Place in the US... what is where you are?
 
2013-02-21 11:56:00 AM

Saiga410: doglover: naughtyrev: I'm sorry, but any "strategy" to win that relies on you rolling doubles every turn and requires your opponents to make unfortunate rolls is no better than wishful thinking.

I think it's the statistically possible shortest game.

Might as well have one player just keep rolling doubles and buy up all the properties.

You cannot do that, a double is invariably an even and the game board has even number of spaces.  You would have to roll doubles until you purchase all the evens and then role an odd... let everyone else go then continue on you mathmatically improbable double streak.

maybe you could land on chance and shift to the odds and do it in one go?


Also, 3 doubles is jail time. So you couldn't just keep rolling doubles.
 
2013-02-21 11:56:29 AM

mauricecano: Our rules: 3 doubles in a row= go to jail!


And do not, I repeat, do NOT drop the soap.

/this
 
2013-02-21 11:56:53 AM
I just recently learned the Free Parking lottery is not an official rule.

Love me some board games, Settlers of Catan is our go-to weekend games-and-booze choice. Much faster, easier, less boring than Risk and with a clear and relatively easily attainable (and trackable) endgame compared to Monopoly's more ambiguous goals and Risk's problem of jillions of dice rolls per turn at the endgame when there's only two huge armies left.
 
2013-02-21 11:56:53 AM

AgentKGB: after which you can go on to play something much friendlier, like Risk...


Risk... the marriage ender.


Ah, Risk.  I remember my wife (then girlfriend) had me over and I played against her mother, father, and little brother.  The dad stomped off after I punched through Europe and pointed out that was the weakest to hold.  The little brother quit when he had three countries left and gave me all of his soldiers, and then I obliterated her and her mother in the next turn, as I kept cashing in cards for more troops.

It was hilarious, though they didn't think so.
 
Skr
2013-02-21 11:57:38 AM
Never really cared for Monopoly much. The games tend to last way too long in relation to the enjoyment factor. Catan is a better "We have an hour to burn" sort of game.

Saw one of the branded versions of Monopoly recently, the Hello Kitty edition. Had the lamest playing pieces ever. The Doctor Who one is rather blah as well. I was told one of the sonic screwdrivers pieces looks more like Anal Beads. Wibbly-Wobbly indeed.
 
2013-02-21 11:57:59 AM
1) Whip out a copy of your Marxist manifesto.
2) Declare all that property belongs to "The People" (vis-a-vis the state)
3) Pose barrel-chested with a black beret on your noggin
4) Get rich selling pictures of your barrel-chested/beret self to irritating hipsters
 
2013-02-21 11:59:40 AM
I usually played where you couldn't buy property until you've passed GO.
 
2013-02-21 11:59:59 AM
but Monopoly seems to make the experience particularly crushing and more likely to end in anger than pretty much any other game I know.

Not a "Risk" player, I see.
 
2013-02-21 12:01:24 PM

Slaves2Darkness: quatchi: fta: (There's probably a moral lesson in there about capitalism, but that's something we'll save for another day.)

The original Monopoly game was invented by a socialist who wanted to show the dangers of monopolies and untrammeled capitalism in a way that even children and the simple minded could understand.

Nobody seems to get that now.

Well fark. That explains why Monopoly is such a boring game, it is supposed to be a teaching tool. No game made for teaching is ever interesting.


Except Mavis Beacon was far more interesting than any other way of learning to type.
 
2013-02-21 12:01:25 PM

BunkoSquad: 1. Roll dice
2. Move piece
3. Realize you just signed yourself up for 11 1/2 hours of boredom and flip table over
4. Open beer

Congratulations!


media.pcgamer.com

FARK THIS SHIAT!!!
 
2013-02-21 12:03:32 PM

impaler: but Monopoly seems to make the experience particularly crushing and more likely to end in anger than pretty much any other game I know.

Not a "Risk" player, I see.


Monopoly and Risk: two games in which the board getting flipped is a very real possibility.
 
2013-02-21 12:03:57 PM

impaler: but Monopoly seems to make the experience particularly crushing and more likely to end in anger than pretty much any other game I know.

Not a "Risk" player, I see.


Just read the rest.

after which you can go on to play something much friendlier, like Risk...

Liar!
 
2013-02-21 12:06:10 PM

Rev.K: How to win Monopoly in 2 turns:

1. Declare yourself a corporation
2. Destroy competition with your legion of lawyers.


Why do you hate capitalism?
 
2013-02-21 12:07:49 PM

A Terrible Human: Slaves2Darkness: quatchi: fta: (There's probably a moral lesson in there about capitalism, but that's something we'll save for another day.)

The original Monopoly game was invented by a socialist who wanted to show the dangers of monopolies and untrammeled capitalism in a way that even children and the simple minded could understand.

Nobody seems to get that now.

Well fark. That explains why Monopoly is such a boring game, it is supposed to be a teaching tool. No game made for teaching is ever interesting.

Except Mavis Beacon was far more interesting than any other way of learning to type.


I see someone never played http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Typing_of_the_Dead
 
2013-02-21 12:08:58 PM
Game that encourages bartering and backstabbing...

www.worldofmunchkin.com
 
2013-02-21 12:09:29 PM
 

BunkoSquad: 1. Roll dice
2. Move piece
3. Realize you just signed yourself up for 11 1/2 hours of boredom and flip table over
4. Open beer

Congratulations!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8cTdFqwdwc&hd=1

whizbangthedirtfarmer: AgentKGB: after which you can go on to play something much friendlier, like Risk...


Risk... the marriage ender.

Ah, Risk.  I remember my wife (then girlfriend) had me over and I played against her mother, father, and little brother.  The dad stomped off after I punched through Europe and pointed out that was the weakest to hold.  The little brother quit when he had three countries left and gave me all of his soldiers, and then I obliterated her and her mother in the next turn, as I kept cashing in cards for more troops.

It was hilarious, though they didn't think so.


Hehe. I've seen seemingly happy couples have a few drinks, play Risk and storm out screaming every name they could think of at each other.
 
2013-02-21 12:13:40 PM
I prefer Parcheesi... or as I call it when my in-laws play it... "Screw you, I aint moving"
 
2013-02-21 12:14:15 PM
How to lose at sex your whole life.
 
2013-02-21 12:18:43 PM

Burr: Game that encourages bartering and backstabbing...

[www.worldofmunchkin.com image 444x657]


I kick the door in and find.......

We love Munchkin
 
2013-02-21 12:18:46 PM

Quantumbunny: mjjt: Trivial Q - is it called "Park Place" in US or is that a typo?

Of course it's Park Place in the US... what is where you are?


This is what we see

http://monopoly.wikia.com/wiki/Game_(British)
 
2013-02-21 12:22:10 PM
i47.tinypic.com
 
2013-02-21 12:22:37 PM
I thought the steps to winning at Monopoly were as follows:

Crush your enemies.
See them driven before you.
Hear the lamentations of their women.
 
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