If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Hollywood Reporter)   With two historically revisionist novels about the killings of John F. Kennedy and Abraham Lincoln under his belt, Bill O'Reilly is now writing a book entitled "Killing Jesus"   (hollywoodreporter.com) divider line 51
    More: Stupid, Bill O'Reilly, John F. Kennedy, Abraham Lincoln, William Morris Endeavor, Jesus of Nazareth  
•       •       •

3834 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Feb 2013 at 11:13 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-02-21 09:43:09 AM
6 votes:
So I'm betting that in his version, the Jews didn't do it? The 30 pieces of silver was just a metaphor, and in fact it was proto-Muslims who reached back into the past, thanks to Obama's Time Machine, disguised themselves, and tried to end the reign of the King of Kings, only to fail to realize that their assassination attempt would be foiled by Christ's resurrection, and making Jesus more powerful than they could ever imagine?

I'm just guessing.
2013-02-21 01:45:47 PM
4 votes:

Thunderpipes: dk47: Thunderpipes: Kate Upton is fat, period. If she didn't have a nice face, would be average shapeless sally with saggy teets.

WHAT'S THAT?  SORRY I CAN"T HEAR YOU OVER THE BLOOD RUSHING TO MY PENIS

Farkers like fat chicks, news at 11:00.

Sorry, she is at best, decent late night college bang. No way in hell she should be on the cover of SI, or even in it. I have better abs than her. No muscle at all and saggy boobies at what, age 20 or something? Yuch.


Please stop talking. No one believes you aren't a fat disgusting neck beard who gets off on wasting other people's time and energy.
2013-02-21 11:43:46 AM
4 votes:

Sinbox: Let's start this:


Not the thread you were intending, I imagine, and frankly, it's just what this thread needed.
2013-02-21 09:46:45 AM
4 votes:
Can you really call it revisionist if it never happened in the first place?
2013-02-21 02:29:39 PM
3 votes:
As a Christian, I feel it is my job to post in threads like this just to say...

I'm sorry.  I'm so, so sorry people who claim they understand Christianity have turned into a horde of loud-mouth bullies who think being smug is the same thing as making a logical point.  A lot of us just try to be charitable, treat other people the way we'd like  to be treated, and remember being nice to people is a net gain for the entire world instead of just to whomever I'm trying to be nice to, even if I think they're an addle-pated arsewit.

I honestly don't care about the divinity debate, same as I don't care if MLK got a little sumptin' on the side now and then.  It's still a life with a lot of advice that makes my life suck less.  If you find anything that makes your life and actions suck less - and doesn't make anyone else's suck more (I'm looking at you, fellow 'Christians') - then good on 'ya.

/the greatest trick the devil ever pulled used to be convincing the world he didn't exist
//now it's convincing Christians the worship of Christianity is the same as worshiping Christ
2013-02-21 12:03:32 PM
3 votes:
Maus III

Please say that you made that post sarcastically.  I'm serious.  The author does everything he can to designate the "professor" as the bad guy and a moron, yet it is impossible to agree with the "christian".  This is the worst attempt at a theodicy that I've ever seen (in reality, this is a summary of standard theodicies, made worst by being written by a bitter, wicked, and frankly stupid person).

The christian doesn't understand that there is a difference between words and real things that we refer to with those words.  This should be obvious even to children, but whatever.

"You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something, it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly, you have nothing, and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, Darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker and give me a jar of it. Can you...give me a jar of darker darkness, professor?"

The professor is not asking "Why do we have words for Darkness and Light?", just as he is not asking "Why do we have words for Good and Evil?"  The Christian's response is  that, because we have darkness and light, that we thus have words for them.  No shiat.  That's not the question.  Look at it this way.. if we had only darkness or only light, then we wouldn't have separate words for such.. and we wouldn't be having this retarded conversation.  Why must it be the case that we have both?  That is the question.  Saying "Because it is" simply isn't an answer to that question.  These naturalistic arguments are some of the most common I hear and, honestly, the most bizarre.  They are clearly conceived by crazy people and propagated by the uncritical, as the entire set of arguments follows the form of "Well, X exists... so.. uh.. X must exist. Therefore God!"

But let's entertain this idiocy for a moment.  Is the Christian really trying to argue that that Good and Evil are relative, just like darkness and light? Like up and down?  This changes God from being "All Good" to merely being "The Most Good".  Christians actively despise any suggestion of moral relativism (usually accusing them of being sociopaths or something), so I find this defense extremely odd.

Let's even accept that some "Darkness" must exist for there to be "Light" (even though, as I said, the dual necessity is only such because we observed the duality and constructed our language to match).  Why must there be so much darkness?  Why can't there just be a bit of darkness, hidden away in a box somewhere, for all to see (or, not see) so that we may know what "light" is by comparison?  That is, would people really deny the existence of evil merely because Hitler hadn't killed millions of people?  Then why was it necessary for that to happen?

The rest of your story is strawmen and nonsensical crazy person talk.  Admit that either 1) Your god is not O3 (omniscient, omnipotent, omnibenevolent) or 2) Evil is a human construct (and thus not really "real"), as all things created by an O3 God must by definition be Good.  These are the only solutions I've seen that aren't insane.  More importantly, though, is that the problem itself relies on the existence of an unproven being that intervenes in the world, which makes any solution at least partially insane.
2013-02-21 11:42:21 AM
3 votes:

Maus III: The Christian sits... Because that is what a chair is for.


So... a philosophy professor who does not know anything of Metaphysics or Epistemology?

The chair only exists because we say it does and that sitting in it is it's function. The chair is entirely dependent on us for it's being in any facet of it's existence, save the atoms which it is composed of.
2013-02-21 11:33:43 AM
3 votes:

Maus III: Is God to blame?

YES!

Here's why: "LET ME EXPLAIN THE problem science has with Jesus Christ.
The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.

"You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"
"Yes, sir."
"So you believe in God?"
"Absolutely."
"Is God good?"
"Sure! God's good."
"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"
"Yes."
"Are you good or evil?"
"The Bible says I'm evil."
The professor grins knowingly. "Ahh! THE BIBLE!"
He considers for a moment. "Here's one for you.
Let's say there's a sick person over here, and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help them? Would you try?"
"Yes sir, I would."
"So you're good...!"
"I wouldn't say that."
"Why not say that? You would help a sick and maimed person if you could...in fact most of us would if we could... God doesn't."
No answer.
"He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?"
No answer.
The elderly man is sympathetic. "No, you can't, can you?" He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax. In philosophy, you have to go easy with the new ones.
"Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?"
"Er... Yes."
"Is Satan good?"
"No."
"Where does Satan come from?"
The student falters. "From...God..."
"That's right. God made Satan, didn't he?" The elderly man runs his bony fingers through his thinning hair and turns, smirking, to the student audience. "I think we're going to have a lot of fun this semester, ladies and gentlemen." He turns back to the Christian. "Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?"
"Yes, sir."
"Evil's everywhere, isn't it? Did God make everything?"
"Yes."
"Who created evil?"
No answer.
"Is there sickness in this world? Immorality?
Hatred? Ugliness? All the terrible things - do they exist in this world?"
The student squirms on his feet. "Yes."
"Who created th ...


tl;dr

Science >> Fairytales >>> Religion

learn how to logic and reason, be rational

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
2013-02-21 11:32:03 AM
3 votes:

Maus III: "Is there such a thing as darkness, professor?"


You're probably just trolling, but anyway ...

This is a variant of the "evil is the absence of good" argument. The problem with this argument is that God is supposedly omnipresent, IOW he is everywhere. Since God is supposedly good (which anyone who's read the Bible knows he is not), there can not be an absence of God and therefore no absence of good. IOW evil exists only because the omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent, and all-loving God wants it to exist.

Also, it perfectly possible to fill an opaque jar with darkness. Just put the lid on so no light can get in.
2013-02-21 11:21:56 AM
3 votes:

Maus III: Is God to blame...



I'm sure I've seen that before, but usually it's in an e-mail from my mother with FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW: GOD LOVES YOU!!!!! surrounding it.
2013-02-21 01:37:41 PM
2 votes:

Maus III: Is God to blame?


tl;dr
www.troll.me
2013-02-21 01:26:01 PM
2 votes:

EyeballKid: Maus III: Is God to blame...


I'm sure I've seen that before, but usually it's in an e-mail from my mother with FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW: GOD LOVES YOU!!!!! surrounding it.


That is the email of every farking fallacy possible. I mean, FFS, first, no, according to almost every theologian ever,  God did not create evil (or even Satan if you're not an idiot), free will creates evil, and for some reason God values free will over not having evil. That's what faith is about--that you can believe that God values this for a very good reason, and trust that the consequences of it are better than the consequences of basically enslaving humanity. Second, evolution can be observed in a farking petri dish. Third, the scientific method does  not state that a brain does not exist if you don't test it, it states that if something has been observed enough times it is reasonable to assume it will happen again (the sun will rise tomorrow, a living human has a brain, etc.). Fourth,  religion is not something disprovable by science, because science tells you how the frog was made and religion tells you why.

/rant
//This is probably why people don't copypasta that to me.
2013-02-21 01:05:51 PM
2 votes:

falkone32: The christian doesn't understand that there is a difference between words and real things that we refer to with those words.  This should be obvious even to children, but whatever.


if christians were smarter than children there would be no christians

diagoras.files.wordpress.com
2013-02-21 12:34:07 PM
2 votes:
I never believed in evil until someone on fark posted a fecking wall of text of philosophic mush in gotdamn over-sized font.

I bet Hitler used over-sized font.
2013-02-21 12:23:47 PM
2 votes:
graphics8.nytimes.com
"In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony god's blessing. But because, I am enlightened by my intelligence."   - Neal Degrass Tyson


/religion is for chumps
2013-02-21 12:20:47 PM
2 votes:

clane: grxymkjbn: clane: The guy invites Liberals and argues with them one on one.

...and screams over their responses and cuts their mics when they demonstrate how stupid BillO's points are.

clane:
Wrong, wrong, wrong again. Is it just the nature of the beast that Liberals are always wrong?  He does interrupt but usually when they get off point and it's hard to get a liberal to stay on point.  But what's the last thing he almost always says at the end of a debate?You wouldn't know because you have maybe seen some YouTube clip on some circle jerks site.He says "you get the last word"


It's a schtick.  He is an entertainer.  Much like Jon Stewart, but in an debate format.  His show isn't as scripted as the daily show, but it certainly is not of-the-cuff. All of that is okay, if you like it. But make no mistake about it, you are the product being sold. He is going to stroke your conservo-button till you freedomgasm. Bill is always going to come out looking right, and the liberal is always going to look bumbling. That is the schtick.
2013-02-21 12:00:47 PM
2 votes:

Sinbox: er, um, huh, hmmm.

well...

sh*tfire.

damnation.

in a year...who'll care?

fark.


No apologies necessary. Have you noticed what's going on in this thread? Another pissing match between the Church of Nuh-Uh and the Church of Yuh-huh.

You do the Lord's work, my son.*

* It's a figure of speech, no need to beat me to death with your autographed special-edition copy of St. Hitchens.
2013-02-21 11:55:45 AM
2 votes:

Maus III: Here's why: "LET ME EXPLAIN THE problem science has with Jesus Christ.


What a load of crap.

A scientist of any worth would not fall for the pathetic traps the christian laid out. Is there darkness or cold?? What a joke.

It's a whole strawman story ... typical religious person cannot argue with what we say so they invent a cutesy little story.
2013-02-21 11:28:19 AM
2 votes:

Maus III: Here's why: "LET ME EXPLAIN


Oh, Catholic school Jesuitism, you so crazy...
2013-02-21 11:20:53 AM
2 votes:

beantowndog: Can you really call it revisionist if it never happened in the first place?


Don't know much about religion and its history, but don't most scholars accept that he lived and was killed? Regardless of any religion aspects? Seems I was taught that he existed, whether you believe the backstory or not.

/went to a public school, could be 100% wrong
2013-02-21 11:11:47 AM
2 votes:
Hasn't this already been done? In musical, comedy and S&M form?


userserve-ak.last.fm

www.thefilmpilgrim.com
bible.org
2013-02-21 10:11:35 AM
2 votes:
Dear Bill,

Every time you open your mouth another part of me dies.

Love,
Jesus
2013-02-21 10:08:21 AM
2 votes:
i70.photobucket.com
2013-02-21 05:58:20 PM
1 votes:

MadSkillz: "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."
- Asimov's Third Law


That's actually Clarke's third law. Asmiov's is that a robot must protects its own existence as long as it doesn't conflict with the first or second laws.
2013-02-21 04:58:11 PM
1 votes:

Darth_Lukecash: It's actually debatable: there are no contemporary records of Jesus during his time.


I would expect very few written records of a rabbi of a minor culture who practiced in an oral tradition, located in a backward of the Roman Empire, who only came to that organization's attention a few weeks prior to his execution. And the Romans executed a lot of people.

Simply, to anyone who wrote for a living, Jesus wasn't a significant figure until his post-death cult gathered some steam and started making noise in Rome. It was only at that point that some historians started digging into who this guy was.

Let me put it this way -- what percentage of the organizational files do you think survived from Rome's bureaucracy circa year zero? It's hard enough for me to track down US government documents from 50 years ago, and they keep everything.
2013-02-21 04:09:38 PM
1 votes:

PsiChick: 12349876: PsiChick: God did not create evil (or even Satan if you're not an idiot), free will creates evil, and for some reason God values free will over not having evil.

Based on that, God also values not being omniscient, which is opposed to many religious doctrines.

Omnescient != constant interference. You can  know something's going on and not intervene.

So a dick, well, possibly (again: enslave humanity v. free will), but it doesn't negate omnescience for God to not interfere.

*Note: This is Catholic theology as explained to me by my mother, but I've seen correlating data for most Christian beliefs. Other religions' mileages may vary.


Omniscience negates free will. If God knows what's going to happen in advance, man has no choice in the matter. Or: "free will" is just another word for "ignorance".

/And Bill O'Reilly is a douchbag
2013-02-21 03:40:57 PM
1 votes:
"Off With Those Pants": Bill O'Reilly Seduces You in Clips From His Dirty Audiobook
 http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/2009/03/off_wi t h_those.php

Here's choice samples of O'Reilly's prose, read by he who trespasses against the English language himself.

This first one comes from an exchange between "Robo," a crack dealer, and his underage girlfriends.

"Say baby, put down that pipe and get my pipe up."

"I would like you to unhook your bra and let it slide down your arms. You can keep your shirt on."

"Cup your hands under your breasts and hold them for ten seconds."

"Off with those pants."


SEXY.
2013-02-21 02:52:03 PM
1 votes:

fanbladesaresharp: You get inspiration from TV actor quotes? Well aren't you the critical thinker.


Actually IDW is playing a strawman atheist character.

He posts things to be deliberately inflammatory in an attempt to portray atheists in a negative light. Typical dishonesty from a religious person.
2013-02-21 02:45:37 PM
1 votes:
i.imgur.com

I'm sorry, Bill can't hear you.

Might be all the millions he's making, PLUS the endless stream of people telling him he's right and fighting a noble fight EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

/ There is no Republican party anymore
// It's now a money-making business
//// so much money...
//// Like being a contractor during the Iraq War
// "Just report the 70 million as missing, dude."
2013-02-21 01:22:33 PM
1 votes:

super_grass: [graphics8.nytimes.com image 533x343]
"In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony god's blessing. But because, I am enlightened by my intelligence."   - Neal Degrass Tyson

/religion is for chumps



Is that a fark joke I don't know? Because that's a photo of Laurence Fishburne you have there with your Tyson quote.
2013-02-21 01:22:01 PM
1 votes:
Kate Upton is fat, period. If she didn't have a nice face, would be average shapeless sally with saggy teets.
2013-02-21 12:59:54 PM
1 votes:
fark Bill O'Reilly.
2013-02-21 12:50:34 PM
1 votes:
Sinbox > Maus

Kate Upton > Jesus
2013-02-21 12:38:34 PM
1 votes:

Nabb1: Maus III: Is God to blame?

YES!

Here's why: "LET ME EXPLAIN THE problem science has with Jesus Christ.
The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.

"You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"
"Yes, sir."
"So you believe in God?"
"Absolutely."
"Is God good?"
"Sure! God's good."
"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"...

I hope that's a cut and paste job, Tolstoy, because no one should put that much work into a comment in a FARK thread.


The story is an old, repeated "straw" discussion between a strawman atheist character and a Christian student. It is remarkably similar in conversation and events to a story where a young Albert Einstein is claimed as the student (though typically that version does not incorrectly identify the Jewish Einstein as a Christian), though by omitting any actual names the Einstein-free variant is not so obviously a lie as it is a poor attempt at a fable.
2013-02-21 12:38:04 PM
1 votes:

hubiestubert: So I'm betting that in his version, the Jews didn't do it? The 30 pieces of silver was just a metaphor, and in fact it was proto-Muslims who reached back into the past, thanks to Obama's Time Machine, disguised themselves, and tried to end the reign of the King of Kings, only to fail to realize that their assassination attempt would be foiled by Christ's resurrection, and making Jesus more powerful than they could ever imagine?

I'm just guessing.


Snark aside, you know that is exactly what he is going to do.  Something along the lines of "Followers of an extremist Jewish sect, who would centuries later be instrumental in founding the nation of Islam and the beginnings of modern terrorist groups such as Hamas and the Taliban..."  You KNOW he will.
2013-02-21 11:50:35 AM
1 votes:

clane: The guy invites Liberals and argues with them one on one.


...and screams over their responses and cuts their mics when they demonstrate how stupid BillO's points are.
2013-02-21 11:47:41 AM
1 votes:
Sinbox wins the thread.
2013-02-21 11:46:52 AM
1 votes:

Maus III: Is God to blame?

YES!

Here's why: "LET ME EXPLAIN THE problem science has with Jesus Christ.
The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.

"You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"
"Yes, sir."
"So you believe in God?"
"Absolutely."
"Is God good?"
"Sure! God's good."
"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"
"Yes."
"Are you good or evil?"
"The Bible says I'm evil."
The professor grins knowingly. "Ahh! THE BIBLE!"
He considers for a moment. "Here's one for you.
Let's say there's a sick person over here, and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help them? Would you try?"
"Yes sir, I would."
"So you're good...!"
"I wouldn't say that."
"Why not say that? You would help a sick and maimed person if you could...in fact most of us would if we could... God doesn't."
No answer.
"He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?"
No answer.
The elderly man is sympathetic. "No, you can't, can you?" He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax. In philosophy, you have to go easy with the new ones.
"Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?"
"Er... Yes."
"Is Satan good?"
"No."
"Where does Satan come from?"
The student falters. "From...God..."
"That's right. God made Satan, didn't he?" The elderly man runs his bony fingers through his thinning hair and turns, smirking, to the student audience. "I think we're going to have a lot of fun this semester, ladies and gentlemen." He turns back to the Christian. "Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?"
"Yes, sir."
"Evil's everywhere, isn't it? Did God make everything?"
"Yes."
"Who created evil?"
No answer.
"Is there sickness in this world? Immorality?
Hatred? Ugliness? All the terrible things - do they exist in this world?"
The student squirms on his feet. "Yes."
"Who created th ...


The great thing about science is that you don't have to believe it for it to be true.
2013-02-21 11:44:32 AM
1 votes:

Uncle Tractor: Maus III: "Is there such a thing as darkness, professor?"

You're probably just trolling, but anyway ...

This is a variant of the "evil is the absence of good" argument. The problem with this argument is that God is supposedly omnipresent, IOW he is everywhere. Since God is supposedly good (which anyone who's read the Bible knows he is not), there can not be an absence of God and therefore no absence of good. IOW evil exists only because the omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent, and all-loving God wants it to exist.

Also, it perfectly possible to fill an opaque jar with darkness. Just put the lid on so no light can get in.


Evil is a relative term used to describe actions another person takes that they think are good that you disagree with.
2013-02-21 11:41:14 AM
1 votes:

griffer: Representative of the unwashed masses: griffer: So a long, simplistic piece of jingoism to prop up the illegal stte of Isreal?

Why do American politicians have such a hard on for Israel?  Seriously, it's one thing to help them but you don't have to do everything as they say do you?

You know who calls the dance, right?


*sigh* true...  That guilt over not helping them out before Hitler offed a lot of them sure runs deep...
2013-02-21 11:38:46 AM
1 votes:

Maus III: Is God to blame?

YES!

Here's why: "LET ME EXPLAIN THE problem science has with Jesus Christ.
The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.

"You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"
"Yes, sir."
"So you believe in God?"
"Absolutely."
"Is God good?"
"Sure! God's good."
"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"...


I hope that's a cut and paste job, Tolstoy, because no one should put that much work into a comment in a FARK thread.
2013-02-21 11:37:56 AM
1 votes:

Representative of the unwashed masses: griffer: So a long, simplistic piece of jingoism to prop up the illegal stte of Isreal?

Why do American politicians have such a hard on for Israel?  Seriously, it's one thing to help them but you don't have to do everything as they say do you?


You know who calls the dance, right?
2013-02-21 11:37:48 AM
1 votes:

Maus III: Is God to blame?



Farking a strawman instead of a chicken today?
2013-02-21 11:33:05 AM
1 votes:
SPOILER ALERT!!!

It was the Jews.
2013-02-21 11:32:55 AM
1 votes:
And Maus III gets turned bright blue for apparently having a lack of oxygen to the brain.
2013-02-21 11:27:48 AM
1 votes:

Maus III: Is God to blame?

YES!


Athiests owned.  If only their small brains could see the reality of Him in this world.  Truth is, they do.  They'll just never admit it.
2013-02-21 11:23:37 AM
1 votes:
Maus III: case study of every logical fallacy


Ugh, the oppressed christian is so eager to use the laws of thermodynamics when it's  convenient...
2013-02-21 11:20:20 AM
1 votes:
How was Killing Lincoln historically revisionist?

I haven't read it, but I heard it was basically pop history with a few mistakes that didn't amount to a whole lot in the big picture.
2013-02-21 11:16:39 AM
1 votes:

Nabb1: I read that as "Killing for Jesus" at first.  Because Circle Jerks, that's why:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L85MNzeAQn8


i2.cdn.turner.com
It's not the first, and hardly the worst, instance a person paying attention to Billo was led to killing.
2013-02-21 11:16:35 AM
1 votes:
What the f-word is wrong with this guy? I personally view his obsession with assassinations as a subliminal attempt to get one of his crazy followers to shoot Fartbongo.
2013-02-21 10:34:31 AM
1 votes:
His derp has finally gone full circle.
 
Displayed 51 of 51 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report