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(Slate)   "The ideal in the shoe-size-correlation studies would be to measure a fully erect penis...as an alternative, most researchers stretch the non-erect penis before measuring its length. It turns out there is more than one way to stretch a penis"   (slate.com) divider line 159
    More: Interesting, measuring, shoe size, researchers stretch  
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10233 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Feb 2013 at 8:44 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-21 09:20:03 AM

Pocket Ninja: .

What's important here is that you start with baby steps. Do not start punching your penis right on day one...much as in exercise, where newbies go whole-hog at the start and then quickly tire and lose interest, you want to begin with a relatively simple routine. Start by flicking yourself with your finger perh ...


10/10

Would Pocket Ninja again.
 
2013-02-21 09:21:10 AM
I use the only ruler that matters - the look on her face when I cram it all in:
 
2013-02-21 09:21:51 AM
Pocket Ninja: ...Full on punching is the last step.

Wait, so you're not supposed to hoist it on the table and smack it with a rubber mallet, wack-a-mole style?  I'm doing it wrong.

/Good to see you floating around, as always.
 
2013-02-21 09:21:56 AM

dr.zaeus: FTFA:  The ideal in the shoe-size-correlation studies would be to measure a fully erect penis, but that's not feasible.

Why the hell not?  I mean, you're already handling the guys junk, why not ask him to get it up before doing so?



If you're handling the guy's junk, then perhaps the obligation is not his.  And if the idea of your handling his junk doesn't bring about tumescence, then perhaps the problem is not his.
 
2013-02-21 09:22:19 AM
TFA: Is It True What They Say About Men With Big Feet?

That it's difficult to find shoes?

Well, or easy, depending on your point of view:

"Can I help you?"
"Do you have anything from, say, size 14 on up?"
["No, we only have up to size 12 or 13" | "Maybe back in storage..."]
["No" | "I found this one pair of (running|basketball|tennis) shoes.." ]
 
2013-02-21 09:22:21 AM
Women are suckers for this type of stuff.  They should make an app that can predict whether a man is lying and anther one that tells her what people she has to "get back at".
 
2013-02-21 09:22:55 AM

spentmiles: I use the only ruler that matters - the look on her face when I cram it all in:


*fans herself*
 
2013-02-21 09:23:06 AM
Here's the lovely lady:

i46.tinypic.com
 
2013-02-21 09:24:07 AM

Abox: Pocket Ninja:  those who might have an abnormally small penis in the 6-7 inch range


Pfft. My girlfriend's clit is bigger than that.


That's not a girl, and that's not a clit.
 
2013-02-21 09:24:11 AM
No matter what anyone tells you, don't tie a large helium balloon to your PA ring and leave it there overnight.

You'll wake up in a tree with a dick like angel hair pasta.....
 
2013-02-21 09:24:21 AM
"pull the penis to length three times before measuring it, the way a clown repeatedly stretches a balloon before inflating it and twisting it into the shape of a dog."

I draw the line at someone trying to blow into mine and then twist it into a shape and giving it to a kid

/too far?
 
2013-02-21 09:25:22 AM

spentmiles: I use the only ruler that matters - the look on her face when I cram it all in:


Thats why I installed a mirror
 
2013-02-21 09:25:46 AM
Pocket Ninja and spentmiles in the same thread.  Starting out to be a good day.
 
2013-02-21 09:29:10 AM

thecpt: spentmiles: I use the only ruler that matters - the look on her face when I cram it all in:

Thats why I installed a mirror


Convex or concave?
 
2013-02-21 09:29:28 AM

genepool lifeboat: xanadian: FTFA: Other researchers pull the penis to length three times before measuring it, the way a clown repeatedly stretches a balloon before inflating it and twisting it into the shape of a dog.

Now all the Farkers on here are gonna picture a clown yankin' their weener, then blowing into it.

I have the weirdest boner right now.


Twisted into the shape of a dog?
 
2013-02-21 09:29:30 AM

boinkingbill: Women are suckers for this type of stuff.  They should make an app that can predict whether a man is lying and anther one that tells her what people she has to "get back at".


They could call it "Frenemies"!
 
2013-02-21 09:29:49 AM

shabu: Abox: Pocket Ninja:  those who might have an abnormally small penis in the 6-7 inch range


Pfft. My girlfriend's clit is bigger than that.

That's not a girl, and that's not a clit.


Lo-Lo-Lo-Lo-Looo-la.
 
2013-02-21 09:31:08 AM

Abox: Pocket Ninja:  those who might have an abnormally small penis in the 6-7 inch range


Pfft. My girlfriend's clit is bigger than that.


Does your girlfriend have an unusually deep voice and a ballsack?
 
2013-02-21 09:32:15 AM
I find it telling that in a thread that essentially stereotypes men in their most holy of areas, not a single man is the slightest bit offended.
 
2013-02-21 09:32:56 AM

Prof. Frink: genepool lifeboat: xanadian: FTFA: Other researchers pull the penis to length three times before measuring it, the way a clown repeatedly stretches a balloon before inflating it and twisting it into the shape of a dog.

Now all the Farkers on here are gonna picture a clown yankin' their weener, then blowing into it.

I have the weirdest boner right now.

Twisted into the shape of a dog?


Giraffe

/size 14
 
2013-02-21 09:35:52 AM

Pocket Ninja: It truly is unfortunate that so many men suffer needlessly from issues of low self-esteem, self-doubt, and downright paranoia when it come to the size of their penis. The truth is that the vast majority of men, even those who might have an abnormally small penis in the 6-7 inch range, can still enjoy a perfectly functional sex life. Many women are more than happy to pretend they don't care about penis size in order to enjoy other advantages, and recent innovations in self-pleasuring technology help ensure that all women paired with an inadequately endowed lover can still experience an occasional orgasm. Even so, there will always be those men for whom "just another inch, just one more" becomes an all-encompassing mantra.

If this is you, just remember that there are a variety of proven, safe, effective techniques out there that millions of men have used to successfully increase their size. No, they're not the expensive penis pumps and dangerous surgeries, the snake oil pills and the online scams. They're real, and you can do them, easily, yourself.

1) Remember that the size of your penis is controlled greatly by the amount of blood flow it receives. The greater the blood flow, the greater the size. Obviously, then, the larger the veins, the larger the penis. But how do you increase your vein size? Well, veins are a lot like muscles. When you work out and get sore, what's really happening is that muscle fibers are tearing and then repairing themselves. They repair themselves bigger and stronger than they were before. If you bruise the veins in your penis, it will hurt, but they'll be bigger when they heal. Do it enough, and you'll be astounded by the results.

What's important here is that you start with baby steps. Do not start punching your penis right on day one...much as in exercise, where newbies go whole-hog at the start and then quickly tire and lose interest, you want to begin with a relatively simple routine. Start by flicking yourself with your finger perhaps 30 times in a row, up and down all the veins that you can see. When it hurts too much to go on, give yourself another 3 or 4 flicks, then call it a day. Rest for two days, then repeat. If there's a little bruising, don't worry, that's normal. When you've successfully acclimated yourself to the flicking, move on to slapping, then clapping. Full on punching is the last step.

2) Also remember that your penis DOES have actual muscles in it. In fact, it is a muscle. So work it out! Any time your find yourself taking your penis out -- after a shower, at a urinal, watching porn, etc. -- don't just play with, exercise it! After a shower, get yourself erect and walk around for 10 or 15 minutes with a towel hanging from your penis. Start with the lighter towels, the wash cloths and hand towels, and work your way up to bath towels. You can do basic isometrics at a urinal...again, get yourself erect and then, with your palm, push down on your erection. Then push back up against your palm. Do about 20 or 30 of these "penis hand pushes," as they're called, and you'll see results within weeks.

3) Don't forget diet! Get in the habit of only eating when you have an erection. The extra blood flow to your penis will carry additional calories there, which will essentially deposit fatty tissue. Now, disclosure here: this won't do much to increase your length. But it WILL increase your girth. And trust me, guys...ladies like a girthy penis.

4) Finally, don't forget the power of the mind. Study after study has shown what an enormous effect positive thinking can have on everything from disease to happiness to overall mental well-being. Repeat the following Buddhist mantra to yourself at least four times an hour, every day:  I have a large penis. I am well endowed. Women are in awe of my penis. Men cower in the presence of my penis. You're not going to see immediate results here, but over the long term, you'll be amazed.

Remember, men: just because your not blessed at the outset doesn't mean you can't find ways to catch up. Seize the day, and seize your penis.


Brevity is the soul of wit. Oh sorry, I meant dude you're so awesome bro
 
2013-02-21 09:35:54 AM
Is there an "age" factor? Ol' Rip Van Dinkle here seems to lie straight 12 inches down flaccid like a wind-sock on a windless day.
 
2013-02-21 09:36:09 AM
api.ning.com
I was in the pool!!!
 
2013-02-21 09:36:16 AM

Nightsweat: Abox: Pocket Ninja:  those who might have an abnormally small penis in the 6-7 inch range


Pfft. My girlfriend's clit is bigger than that.

Does your girlfriend have an unusually deep voice and a ballsack?


She has a normal voice.  And she does have a ballsack, so what. Lots of chicks do.
 
2013-02-21 09:37:02 AM

WhippingBoy: I find it telling that in a thread that essentially stereotypes men in their most holy of areas, not a single man is the slightest bit offended.


Goddamn. Just divorce her already.
 
2013-02-21 09:37:49 AM
I'm a tall guy with size 16 feet but not especially big hands for a guy my size.  I've never had "it" measured and I'm not sure I want someone to pull it out, twist it, and tie it into a dog.
 
2013-02-21 09:38:03 AM
CruJones: And who cares about size when stretched?  Isn't erect all that matters?

www.eonline.com
With a flaccid penis, it's the number of folds that count
 
2013-02-21 09:39:53 AM

CapeFearCadaver: WhippingBoy: I find it telling that in a thread that essentially stereotypes men in their most holy of areas, not a single man is the slightest bit offended.

Goddamn. Just divorce her already.


What are you so afraid of?
 
2013-02-21 09:40:50 AM
The correlation is SO misunderstood.  What the chick said, was, I've been with lots of guys and I think I can correlate their shoe size with those who were the biggest dicks
 
2013-02-21 09:41:49 AM
"The ideal in the shoe-size-correlation studies would be to measure a fully erect penis, but that's not feasible "


mrops.com

They're using the wrong "researchers".
 
2013-02-21 09:41:55 AM

SurfaceTension: I'm a grower, not a show-er. And stretched out, I know it's not as big as when it's fully...um, engaged, so to speak.


This...

I'm also a grower and not a show-er.  Stretching my flaccid penis isn't going to tell you how large I am when I'm erect...

So maybe their study is flawed if they're measuring flaccid penises

profile.ak.fbcdn.net
 
2013-02-21 09:43:04 AM

WhippingBoy: CapeFearCadaver: WhippingBoy: I find it telling that in a thread that essentially stereotypes men in their most holy of areas, not a single man is the slightest bit offended.

Goddamn. Just divorce her already.

What are you so afraid of?


Afraid? More like annoyed.
 
2013-02-21 09:43:48 AM
New Balance shoes are the best if you have big and wide feet.  15 wide is hard to find with other brands, but not New Balance, good prices too.

/csb?
 
2013-02-21 09:45:03 AM

unyon: FTFA:  Other researchers pull the penis to length three times before measuring it, the way a clown repeatedly stretches a balloon before inflating it and twisting it into the shape of a dog

Anybody else find this line unnecessarily descriptive?


does it squeak when they pull it?
 
2013-02-21 09:45:34 AM

karnal: I always heard the shoe-size-correlation was for women.....and case in point:  My wife wears a size 12 pump and down there it's like the Darvaza Gas Crater.

[www.puppiesandflowers.com image 450x300]
 .


She seems tight to me....
 
2013-02-21 09:45:51 AM
The media's been stretching (rhythmically) its penis for too long on our dime. Boot 'em out.
 
2013-02-21 09:45:55 AM

xria: Is this the one where he sued for $500 million in reputational damage for a third party app that sold like 17 copies? I can understand people going in high when suing to make it easier to settle for a lesser amount, but surely it backfires if you go as far as that?


...

...

...penis?
 
2013-02-21 09:46:23 AM

CapeFearCadaver: WhippingBoy: CapeFearCadaver: WhippingBoy: I find it telling that in a thread that essentially stereotypes men in their most holy of areas, not a single man is the slightest bit offended.

Goddamn. Just divorce her already.

What are you so afraid of?

Afraid? More like annoyed.


Good point. I fear I've looked to long into the abyss and have become what I hate the most (a person who projects his person issues on a non-existant "boogyman" [in this case the fabled "straw feminist"]).
How insufferable.

Thanks for the reality check. From now on, I will only use my powers for good.
 
2013-02-21 09:49:15 AM

Sybarite: Who cares? If you spend much time worrying about the size of your penis then the size of your penis is not your main problem.


If you don't have an accurate measurement of your penis and your shoe-size, how are you going to get shoes that will nicely fit your penis? Durh!
 
2013-02-21 09:49:46 AM

The Voice of Doom: TFA: Is It True What They Say About Men With Big Feet?

That it's difficult to find shoes?

Well, or easy, depending on your point of view:

"Can I help you?"
"Do you have anything from, say, size 14 on up?"
["No, we only have up to size 12 or 13" | "Maybe back in storage..."]
["No" | "I found this one pair of (running|basketball|tennis) shoes.." ]


In lime green/pink/other hideous colour

/Size 13
// hate shoe shopping
 
2013-02-21 09:49:52 AM
See, this is why I exclusively date Japanese women.

She's all like 'Ooooh! It so big! It like Godzillra!"
And I say, "Yeah baby, that's four whole inches right there."
 
2013-02-21 09:50:15 AM

Pocket Ninja: Remember, men: just because your not blessed at the outset doesn't mean you can't find ways to catch up. Seize the day, and seize your penis.


so Carpe Diem, Carpe Mentula ?
 
2013-02-21 09:51:10 AM

Amurica...Fark Ya!: New Balance shoes are the best if you have big and wide feet.  15 wide is hard to find with other brands, but not New Balance, good prices too.

/csb?


My son and I both have size 14 feet (I'm 6'1 and my son is 6'3).  NB is pretty much our only option for casual sneakers and for most other stuff we have to either order online or check Famous Footwear.  My son also plays a lot of different sports (all need different shoes.)  Most of those I have to get online.

What I'm sayin is I spend a lot of money on shoes.
 
2013-02-21 09:51:21 AM

HotIgneous Intruder: thecpt: spentmiles: I use the only ruler that matters - the look on her face when I cram it all in:

Thats why I installed a mirror

Convex or concave?


I pondered on this for awhile until one day when I was walking through the local fun house I notice the perfect mirror.  It was a seemingly typical fun house mirror which varied the size of the reflected objects from large to skinny.  It was skinny on bottom, skinnier at the middle, and large up top.  I placed it so the base level lined up with the top of my mattress.  The subject would feel a sense of euphoria as they faced it on all fours, as they would notice that they were suddenly skinny and better yet their ass was much skinnier than usual.  Enter me standing up.  My upper body would look gargantuan as it was reflected, but my bottom half (member included) would seem almost laughable, similar to standing on the same level with Michaels Angelo's david.  The subject might relax even more as they thought the next 10 minutes would be a rather boring affair similar to dropping a pen in your coffee cup.  Hardly noticeable except for the remnants left behind.  Au contraire mother farker.  Similar to Paula Dean trying to enter a fried donut shop through a 3 by 8 door, I'm cramming like a slacker the night before finals.

their faces are priceless.
 
2013-02-21 09:51:48 AM
You said "penis" thrice.
 
2013-02-21 09:53:35 AM

ten foiled hats: Pocket Ninja: ...Full on punching is the last step.

Wait, so you're not supposed to hoist it on the table and smack it with a rubber mallet, wack-a-mole style?  I'm doing it wrong.

/Good to see you floating around, as always.


You know what they say, "sometimes your cock is the mallet, sometimes it's the mole."
 
2013-02-21 09:54:09 AM

WhippingBoy: CapeFearCadaver: WhippingBoy: CapeFearCadaver: WhippingBoy: I find it telling that in a thread that essentially stereotypes men in their most holy of areas, not a single man is the slightest bit offended.

Goddamn. Just divorce her already.

What are you so afraid of?

Afraid? More like annoyed.

Good point. I fear I've looked to long into the abyss and have become what I hate the most (a person who projects his person issues on a non-existant "boogyman" [in this case the fabled "straw feminist"]).
How insufferable.

Thanks for the reality check. From now on, I will only use my powers for good.


We've had this conversation before.....
 
2013-02-21 09:55:26 AM

IamKaiserSoze!!!: unyon: FTFA:  Other researchers pull the penis to length three times before measuring it, the way a clown repeatedly stretches a balloon before inflating it and twisting it into the shape of a dog

Anybody else find this line unnecessarily descriptive?

does it squeak when they pull it?


It doesn't, I do.
 
2013-02-21 09:56:35 AM

CapeFearCadaver: WhippingBoy: CapeFearCadaver: WhippingBoy: CapeFearCadaver: WhippingBoy: I find it telling that in a thread that essentially stereotypes men in their most holy of areas, not a single man is the slightest bit offended.

Goddamn. Just divorce her already.

What are you so afraid of?

Afraid? More like annoyed.

Good point. I fear I've looked to long into the abyss and have become what I hate the most (a person who projects his person issues on a non-existant "boogyman" [in this case the fabled "straw feminist"]).
How insufferable.

Thanks for the reality check. From now on, I will only use my powers for good.

We've had this conversation before.....


Why do you expect the results to be different this time?
 
2013-02-21 09:56:47 AM

GungFu: Sybarite: Who cares? If you spend much time worrying about the size of your penis then the size of your penis is not your main problem.

If you don't have an accurate measurement of your penis and your shoe-size, how are you going to get shoes that will nicely fit your penis? Durh!


I hate it when I'm putting my shoe on my penis and I accidentally thread the lace through the eyelet in the wrong one.
 
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