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(Kinston Free Press)   O.J. Simpson offers Olympic murder suspect some advice   (kinston.com) divider line 41
    More: Asinine, O.J. Simpson, Oscar Pistorius, Naked Gun, Priscilla Presley, premeditated murder, wrap party, Leslie Nielsen, sports memorabilia  
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6628 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Feb 2013 at 10:16 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-21 09:05:36 AM
"I just look at it as another chapter in the book of my life," Simpson said. "The first 400 times the cafeteria guy looked at me during breakfast and asked 'Does the Juice want any juice?' was tough. Thankfully for all of us, the knives in here are plastic."

Wow, not even really trying to hide it anymore.
 
2013-02-21 09:13:01 AM

dletter: "I just look at it as another chapter in the book of my life," Simpson said. "The first 400 times the cafeteria guy looked at me during breakfast and asked 'Does the Juice want any juice?' was tough. Thankfully for all of us, the knives in here are plastic."

Wow, not even really trying to hide it anymore.


Keep reading.  I'm thinking satire.  But it certainly didn't start out that way.  Kind of sneaks up on you.
 
2013-02-21 09:28:35 AM
Problem is, a great many read and accept this kind of column as being true.  On the brighter side, if they're reading this, it means they're not watching Lizard Lick Towing, WWF, Springer or MSNBC.

 /first and last time I'll click on a Kinston link.
 
2013-02-21 10:18:42 AM
Golfing tips?
 
2013-02-21 10:19:24 AM
I'm not going to take a stab at clicking on that link.
 
2013-02-21 10:19:52 AM
Satire.
 
2013-02-21 10:21:44 AM
D'oh.
 
2013-02-21 10:22:02 AM
It got me for a little while. No satire disclaimer.
 
2013-02-21 10:22:07 AM
They should release oj an let him goafter jon dawson, columnist for producing that
 
2013-02-21 10:24:00 AM
"Da Man will always go for da Bruthas, bro. Oh, wait..."
 
2013-02-21 10:24:48 AM
Heartwarming
 
2013-02-21 10:25:04 AM
"I just look at it as another chapter in the book of my life," Simpson said. "The first 400 times the cafeteria guy looked at me during breakfast and asked 'Does the Juice want any juice?' was tough. Thankfully for all of us, the knives in here are plastic."

Nice to see he hasn't lost that cutting humor.
 
2013-02-21 10:26:29 AM

SpdrJay: Golfing tips?


The real murderer could be lurking on the 18th tee.


/IT'S A sand TRAP!
 
2013-02-21 10:26:33 AM
Wow, took me until "the knives in here are plastic" to realize it was Onioning.
 
2013-02-21 10:27:06 AM
The fark am I reading.
 
2013-02-21 10:27:37 AM
Unfunny satire.
 
2013-02-21 10:30:18 AM

Diogenes: dletter: "I just look at it as another chapter in the book of my life," Simpson said. "The first 400 times the cafeteria guy looked at me during breakfast and asked 'Does the Juice want any juice?' was tough. Thankfully for all of us, the knives in here are plastic."

Wow, not even really trying to hide it anymore.

Keep reading.  I'm thinking satire.  But it certainly didn't start out that way.  Kind of sneaks up on you.


I bet he asked the cafeteria guy if he had any battered shrimp.
 
2013-02-21 10:30:51 AM
as others have said, might want to consider a "satire" tag
 
2013-02-21 10:31:11 AM
"While investigators, a good portion of the public and two out of three kindergardeners believe these claims to be dubious at best, one expert on the subject has spoken out in support of the Olympic star. "

Those "kindergardeners" are trying to soil this mans reputation.
 
2013-02-21 10:32:33 AM
Get a jury full of stumps and hope for the best?
 
2013-02-21 10:33:01 AM
If the shoes don't fit, they must acquit.
 
2013-02-21 10:36:42 AM
Hold the Onion.
 
2013-02-21 10:36:51 AM
Use the Chewbacca defense
 
2013-02-21 10:38:56 AM

Ebenator: Unfunny satire.


This.

Satire shouldn't just be an article with made up quotes. And quoting OJ about a murder...how original.

Next, lets interview Bill Clinton about somone who has cheated on their spouse.

/weak
 
2013-02-21 10:41:13 AM
Yeah, I see it is satire now... I actually didn't read much past the comment I pasted... had I made it down to the Sizzler comments with Greta and the rest, I'd have figured that out.

Although, fairly sad that if you ended it at the quote I quoted, nobody would have questioned too much OJ saying that.
 
2013-02-21 10:41:20 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-21 10:43:03 AM
This is the same retard no-talent moron who wasted my time two days ago. He obviously has an account and a mouthful of Mod cum.

From now on, I'll be checking the source before I click; I don't want this idiot using me as an excuse for keeping his job.
 
2013-02-21 11:04:17 AM

Diogenes: dletter:

"I just look at it as another chapter in the book of my life," Simpson said. "The first 400 times the cafeteria guy looked at me during breakfast and asked 'Does the Juice want any juice?' was tough. Thankfully for all of us, the knives in here are plastic."

Wow, not even really trying to hide it anymore.

Keep reading.  I'm thinking satire.  But it certainly didn't start out that way.  Kind of sneaks up on you.


Clearly satire. The tip-off is dusty balls.
 
2013-02-21 11:06:33 AM
This is a lot like when they ask Newt to comment on adultery charges.
 
2013-02-21 11:12:14 AM

Diogenes: dletter: "I just look at it as another chapter in the book of my life," Simpson said. "The first 400 times the cafeteria guy looked at me during breakfast and asked 'Does the Juice want any juice?' was tough. Thankfully for all of us, the knives in here are plastic."

Wow, not even really trying to hide it anymore.

Keep reading.  I'm thinking satire.  But it certainly didn't start out that way.  Kind of sneaks up on you.


That's what I thought. I even scrolled up to see if it was an Onion or other parody paper.
 
2013-02-21 11:23:08 AM
 If there's no sign of intent, you must acquit.

What kind of a defense is that? It doesn't even rhyme.
 
2013-02-21 11:23:42 AM
Someone forgot to read that link before posting it as news instead of satire :P
 
2013-02-21 11:38:25 AM
"Thankfully for all of us, the knives in here are plastic."
    - OJ Simpson



Now THAT is a quote for the ages.
 
2013-02-21 11:58:41 AM
I thought he was dead.
 
2013-02-21 03:30:59 PM
i46.tinypic.com
 
2013-02-21 04:14:38 PM
"serving a 30 year sentence for stealing his own sports memorabilia at gunpoint"


um...WHAT? What the heck is THAT story? I didn't hear about this.
 
2013-02-21 05:10:26 PM
Just goes to show how looney O.J. really is, when you get a full halfway through the article before you realize it's satire.

"Just because he admitted to knowing she was in the house before he pulled the trigger doesn't mean he's guilty. If there's no sign of intent, you must acquit." - Sounds like 100% authentic O.J. to me.
 
2013-02-21 05:15:12 PM
"serving a 30 year sentence for stealing his own sports memorabilia at gunpoint"

kiwimoogle84: um...WHAT? What the heck is THAT story? I didn't hear about this.


On the off chance that you're actually serious:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/O._J._Simpson_robbery_case
 
2013-02-21 06:57:02 PM
Howard Stern did a skit today about this guy and all you heard was, "boing, boing, boing..."
 
2013-02-22 12:33:39 AM
Well that was stupid.
 
2013-02-22 10:41:05 AM
Should Listen to Mr. Simpson.  He's gotten away with murder twice already.  He knows what he's talking about.
 
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