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(TMZ)   WWE star Jack Thwagger arrested for DUI and possession of pot. Hmmm must be a plot by "those people" to keep a real American down   (tmz.com) divider line 113
    More: Dumbass, Jack Swagger, WWE, heavyweight champions  
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1179 clicks; posted to Sports » on 21 Feb 2013 at 10:48 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-21 10:53:41 AM
And there goes the push
 
2013-02-21 10:53:52 AM
It's still real to.....you?
 
2013-02-21 10:55:27 AM
Wrestlers, seriously, designate CM Punk to drive you home. He's carried many of you in the ring already.
 
2013-02-21 10:58:07 AM

natural316: And there goes the push


Yeah, I've been glad Swagger's getting *a* push, he deserves it, but I'm not liking the kind of push he's getting. Vince, you've already got the 'tea party' crowd as a viewer base; all you're doing is making the rest of us groan and fast forward through the manager promos. Just watched Elimination last night and the crowd was dead quiet after Swagger won, a sign that the storyline isn't working.
 
2013-02-21 11:02:23 AM
He has been charged with DUI (not alcohol), marijuana possession, and speeding -- all misdemeanors.

I'm not familiar with the charge of DUI (not alcohol). Does that mean he admitted to driving while stoned? Some states have, or used to have, a charge for driving while ability impaired (DWAI) that was sort of a blanket charge for driving while messed up on something other than alcohol, but it was still a felony like a DUI.
Come on, farkers. I know someone around here has a GED in law.
 
2013-02-21 11:02:34 AM
Thanks, Obama.
 
2013-02-21 11:04:40 AM
::grumble::Thought my headline was better::grumble::
 
2013-02-21 11:18:41 AM

RoyFokker'sGhost: natural316: And there goes the push

Vince, you've already got the 'tea party' crowd as a viewer base; all you're doing is making the rest of us groan and fast forward through the manager promos.


He was a heel, they did heel things, said heel things, made you squirm without having to eat worms on live TV. It Worked.

After a self imposed hiatus because 'creative has nothing for you', Swagger had a rocket strapped to his back and was jetting towards wrestlemania while pissing off people like Fox News because their proverbial dirty laundry was being aired out by a vengeful McMahon. Now he threw it all away like a moron and he will be lucky if he gets another paycheck at all.

Most of all, I feel bad for Dutch Mantell/Wayne Keown since this hit pretty damn close to home considering his granddaughter died from a car accident by a driver driving under the influence. He's been an avid supporter of stronger penalties with people caught for DUI.
 
2013-02-21 11:18:57 AM
http://www.ameliaslaw.com/toxicology-report-shows-driver-blamed-in-te e ns-death-had-drugs-in-his-system/

This could make things very awkward with old Zeb.  His granddaughter dying at the hands of someone who was DUI only a few months ago and all.
 
2013-02-21 11:20:02 AM
Oh yeah, and sup fWc.
 
2013-02-21 11:28:29 AM
WWE: "So we're gonna make this crotchety old racist character."
Tea Party: "Hey!  This character resembles us!"
The jokes write themselves.

I kind of hope against my better judgement that Swaggie's punishment comes after Mania because the gimmick is getting on National News, add that to Dwayne rocking the main belt, and suddenly WWE is starting to be relevant in pop culture again.  Perhaps a storyline of how THE BIG GOVERNMENT has viewed Zeb and Jack as threats and are manipulating the system to keep TRUE AMERICANS down.  It's Mania season, go all in.
 
2013-02-21 11:31:57 AM
Who is that?  Oh my GOD!!!  It's John Strut!  HERE!!! IN THE IMPACT ZONE!!!  THIS IS TRULY THE BIGGEST NIGHT IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT!!!
 
2013-02-21 11:34:51 AM
Why is this on the Sports tab?
 
2013-02-21 11:38:42 AM

Hillbilly Jim: Why is this on the Sports tab?


Because the politics tab was full.
 
2013-02-21 11:40:22 AM

ThatGuyGreg: Hillbilly Jim: Why is this on the Sports tab?

Because the politics tab was full.


I thought it was because Poker.
 
2013-02-21 11:41:53 AM

The Muthaship: ThatGuyGreg: Hillbilly Jim: Why is this on the Sports tab?

Because the politics tab was full.

I thought it was because Poker.


still waiting...
 
2013-02-21 11:54:58 AM

Hillbilly Jim: Why is this on the Sports tab?


Because sweaty, muscle dudes something something.

/at least that's what I'm always told
//what's the "E" in WWE stand for again?
 
2013-02-21 12:33:38 PM

Hillbilly Jim: Why is this on the Sports tab?


What a strange handle to be questioning the legitimacy of wrestling as a sport.

It's because they're taking our jerbs the classic fixed wrestling out of the olympic games. Kayfabe storyline wrestling's athletic legitimacy gets a bump to the Sports tab.
 
2013-02-21 12:33:52 PM

Hillbilly Jim: Why is this on the Sports tab?


Because fark you, that's why.
 
2013-02-21 01:03:11 PM

Hillbilly Jim: Why is this on the Sports tab?


You know how I know you're a pencil-necked geek?
 
2013-02-21 01:07:08 PM
I don't follow wrasslin, so I had never heard of this character before this.... holy fark, this is the most brillant bit of trailer trash trolling satire in Wrasslin' since Andy Kaufman.

Look at these reactions from  wrasslin fans...

Next they will introduce a beligerant radical Marxist individual of Jewish decent hell bent on destroying the Constution of the USA, creating Gulags as was done in the former Soviet and sentencing all Patriots to their reeducation camps...
No wait we have the privlige to see that scenario played out each and every day on any and every Media we choose to engage..


....

So why is WWE doing this? Because McMahon is part of the RINO division which is all about corporatism and multimillionaires and billionaires, like McMahon, not paying taxes. They hate the Tea Party that are concerned with the stuff these actors speak of. Illegal aliens are a huge problem, but now you're a bad guy if you suggest they stop flooding in here illegally. RINOs and the Tea Party aren't friends. RINOs are all about keeping the NWO (or JWO) going with nation invading and building to keep their military buddies supplying arms and equipment to our government (fascism is another term).
 
2013-02-21 01:10:21 PM

InmanRoshi: NWO (or JWO)


Is that Colt Cabana's new heel stable?
 
2013-02-21 01:13:06 PM

EyeballKid: InmanRoshi: NWO (or JWO)

Is that Colt Cabana's new heel stable?


With Bill Goldberg and Barry Horowitz.
 
2013-02-21 01:13:51 PM

InmanRoshi: EyeballKid: InmanRoshi: NWO (or JWO)

Is that Colt Cabana's new heel stable?

With Bill Goldberg and Barry Horowitz.


It brings a whole new meaning to "The Chosen One."
 
2013-02-21 01:17:41 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-21 01:20:57 PM

JuicePats: ::grumble::Thought my headline was better::grumble::


to be honest it was early this morning when i saw the story and the this was the only headline i could come up with.

/should have had coffee first.
 
2013-02-21 01:21:09 PM

natural316: And there goes the push


Yep, he should enjoy being jobbed out to Hornswoggle for the next year or so.
 
2013-02-21 01:23:07 PM

fatalvenom: Hillbilly Jim: Why is this on the Sports tab?

Because sweaty, muscle dudes something something.

/at least that's what I'm always told
//what's the "E" in WWE stand for again?


interesting theory, I wonder why wrestling is never on the Entertainment and Sports Programming Network
 
2013-02-21 01:23:28 PM

JuicePats: Hillbilly Jim: Why is this on the Sports tab?

Because fark you, that's why.


Thank you.. took you farkers long enough!
 
2013-02-21 01:25:44 PM

Hyjamon: fatalvenom: Hillbilly Jim: Why is this on the Sports tab?

Because sweaty, muscle dudes something something.

/at least that's what I'm always told
//what's the "E" in WWE stand for again?

interesting theory, I wonder why wrestling is never on the Entertainment and Sports Programming Network


Does ESPN Classic count? Rasslin still there quite frequently.
 
2013-02-21 01:27:14 PM

geek_mars: He has been charged with DUI (not alcohol), marijuana possession, and speeding -- all misdemeanors.

I'm not familiar with the charge of DUI (not alcohol). Does that mean he admitted to driving while stoned? Some states have, or used to have, a charge for driving while ability impaired (DWAI) that was sort of a blanket charge for driving while messed up on something other than alcohol, but it was still a felony like a DUI.
Come on, farkers. I know someone around here has a GED in law.


Maricopa County in AZ counts being under the influence of medication that has been prescribed to you as a DWI, however if the laws are the same as they were when I lived there, you have to be picked up for another offense in order for them to charge you. If you're in Arizona, most anything is against the law, including knowing words from outside the English language, so DWIs are fairly prevalent.
 
2013-02-21 01:27:58 PM

EyeballKid: Wrestlers, seriously, designate CM Punk to drive you home. He's carried many of you in the ring already.


24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-21 01:27:58 PM
FTA: "We reached out to WWE, who tells TMZ, "Mr. Swagger is responsible for his own personal actions."

i take that to mean they hadn't popped him with a wellness test yet?  And since smackdown is pre recorded was he scheduled to make an appearance.

/the irony if he does and him and Zeb give a speech about how the illegals are ruining America with all of the drugs they are smuggling over.
 
2013-02-21 01:28:24 PM

robsul82: [25.media.tumblr.com image 500x419]


i391.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-21 01:29:02 PM

robsul82: [25.media.tumblr.com image 500x419]


i1182.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-21 01:29:03 PM

robsul82: [25.media.tumblr.com image 500x419]


When Evan Bourne is questioning your choices, it's time to put the joint down.
 
2013-02-21 01:40:50 PM

Hillbilly Jim: JuicePats: Hillbilly Jim: Why is this on the Sports tab?

Because fark you, that's why.

Thank you.. took you farkers long enough!


Sorry, I've been away.
 
2013-02-21 01:48:51 PM

robsul82: [25.media.tumblr.com image 500x419]


9.75/10

/lost a quarter point for the extra DA in the last panel
 
2013-02-21 01:53:40 PM
"Jack Swagger arrested for DUI, speeding, and marijuana possession, Brain."

"Did he come staggering out of the car and immediately start blaming the Jews, Monsoon?"

"Ah, the old 'Mel Gibson' play, no he didn't!"

"That's why he'll never be anything in this business, he doesn't live his persona."
 
2013-02-21 01:55:34 PM
"Remember during the Punk/Jericho rivalry, when Jericho poured fake whiskey all over C.M. Punk?"

"Indeed I do Brain."

"I can't wait until I see Del Rio upend an entire bottle of Oregano on Swagger."
 
2013-02-21 01:59:59 PM
"So it was Swagger who was lobbying for WM 30 to be in Denver!"

"Will you stop Brain?"

"He and Evan Bourne can tag team. We can call them the "Hi-Jackers"
 
2013-02-21 02:02:52 PM
WEED. THE PEOPLE.
 
2013-02-21 02:04:22 PM

Bobby_and_The_Gorilla: "So it was Swagger who was lobbying for WM 30 to be in Denver!"

"Will you stop Brain?"

"He and Evan Bourne can tag team. We can call them the "Hi-Jackers"


You, my friend, are the best part of the wrestling threads!

/Zeb and Thwagger's new gimmick:  Weed The People
 
2013-02-21 02:05:57 PM
- As previously reported, Jack Swagger was arrested on Tuesday night for a DUI and marijuana suspension. Per WWE's Wellness Policy, just being arrested is enough for WWE to release him if they so desired. The policy lists as follows:

"Any WWE Talent, who is arrested, convicted or who admits to a violation of law relating to use, possession, purchase, sale or distribution of drugs will be in material breach of his/her contract with WWE and subject to immediate dismissal."

In addition, the violation acts identically per the Wellness policy as a positive test for drugs which includes a potential fine, suspension or more. This would be Swagger's first Wellness violation.
 Yeah, he's screwed.
This also killed Albert Of The River's Wrestlemania storyline.

I'd like to say that Ziggler will be the big winner in this clusterf*ck, but the way Creative has been writing him since he won MITB? His eventual reign will be right up there with Thwagga, Rey Rey, and US Champ Ryder.
 
2013-02-21 02:06:43 PM

Rickenbacker: Bobby_and_The_Gorilla: "So it was Swagger who was lobbying for WM 30 to be in Denver!"

"Will you stop Brain?"

"He and Evan Bourne can tag team. We can call them the "Hi-Jackers"

You, my friend, are the best part of the wrestling threads!

/Zeb and Thwagger's new gimmick:  Weed The People


Lol

I put it on my twitter feed (gave you proper credit)
@BobbyandGorilla
 
2013-02-21 02:10:13 PM

Bobby_and_The_Gorilla: Rickenbacker: Bobby_and_The_Gorilla: "So it was Swagger who was lobbying for WM 30 to be in Denver!"

"Will you stop Brain?"

"He and Evan Bourne can tag team. We can call them the "Hi-Jackers"

You, my friend, are the best part of the wrestling threads!

/Zeb and Thwagger's new gimmick:  Weed The People

Lol

I put it on my twitter feed (gave you proper credit)
@BobbyandGorilla


I feel as though Weed The People sounds like a gardening club.
 
2013-02-21 02:18:17 PM

Masterstuff: RoyFokker'sGhost: natural316: And there goes the push

Vince, you've already got the 'tea party' crowd as a viewer base; all you're doing is making the rest of us groan and fast forward through the manager promos.

He was a heel, they did heel things, said heel things, made you squirm without having to eat worms on live TV. It Worked.


The problem is that over the last couple of weeks, the number of people squirming is not increasing, but from the audio and crowd shots, the number of people cheering is.
 
2013-02-21 02:20:21 PM

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: This also killed Albert Of The River's Wrestlemania storyline.

I'd like to say that Ziggler will be the big winner in this clusterf*ck, but the way Creative has been writing him since he won MITB? His eventual reign will be right up there with Thwagga, Rey Rey, and US Champ Ryder.


They need to do Del Rio-Ziggler for WM anyway after that pretty good match they had on RAW. Give them 20 minutes and we'll forget all about The Big Show. Put Ziggler over then have him cash in his MITB immediately after either Rock/Cena/Punk wins the title.  Figure out a way to require both titles to be on the line, then unify the belts.  Then unify the US and IC titles because they're both pretty much worthless at this point.  And finally, for god's sake, take the tag titles off Team Hell No.

Sorry, rambling.
 
2013-02-21 02:21:09 PM
/PS - this is the Impact thread for later, seeing as how we don't ever seem to get greens for it anymore
//PPS - TRUE MURRICAN John Strut is gonna be AWESOME
 
2013-02-21 02:26:44 PM
Something is not right about this. Nobody gets stoned and speeds. Maybe get pulled over for 20 under the minimum speed limit.
 
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