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(Slate)   "Dear Prudence: My wife and I came from the same sperm donor. What do we do?"   (slate.com) divider line 184
    More: Sick, Emily Yoffe, blood donors, biological father, sister-in-law, David Plotz  
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21323 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Feb 2013 at 12:45 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-21 03:43:51 AM  
As the child of a couple who had to term to sperm donation?  This is the nightmare scenario.  A small but not zero number of individuals develop something called Genetic Sexual Attraction.  When I was a younger man in the dating scene I crossed my fingers that this wouldn't happen.  While I doubt the story?  Definitely feel for the writer if it is true and thank everything that it wasn't me.
 
2013-02-21 03:46:03 AM  
www.wearysloth.com

It matters to God!
 
2013-02-21 04:01:50 AM  

blottoman: Oznog: ng2810: Why are there so many people calling this fake? It may be extremely bizarre and disturbing, yes, but it could happen!


[24.media.tumblr.com image 350x263]

Beautiful


It brings me great pleasure to see Paul Darrow in the GIF. What a tremendous character was Avon, especially when conversing contra Orac.
 
2013-02-21 04:02:40 AM  

GAT_00: This did not farking happen.  But thanks for another dose of manufactured tabloid bullshiat.


it was a boston legal episode
 
2013-02-21 04:03:12 AM  

Trocadero: Mattevil: Cancel the series?
[screencrave.com image 580x400]

fark you, that series was so much better than Girls. The comedy Emmy's are a goddamn joke.
/that said, OMG A MOVIE!!!

Hey I'm on your side. Loved the show just sad it left right after introducing Stacy Keach and leaving the aforementioned loose end.
 
2013-02-21 04:12:51 AM  

postnobills: In my case, so far I've been pretty healthy but the genetic counselor did suggest that I shouldn't try to have kids myself.


So long as you fark someone who is completely unrelated to you, there should be no more risk than anyone else having children.
 
2013-02-21 04:16:23 AM  

Uchiha_Cycliste: Oznog: But even after she was shacking up with my friend, there was one time we were at a party... my friend was inside, and my sister and I were outside alone. It was a really intimate moment. I think something might have happened, except that I killed the mood when I told her that Darth Vader was our father and that I had to go face him.

Well played!
Can't go wrong with the classics


Should have ended with a /not mine or something though. That yarn, awesome as it is, is at least 2 years old. (Link to apparently original source.)
 
2013-02-21 04:17:56 AM  

James F. Campbell: It's not terribly surprising that people are intensely sexually attracted to others who share similar genes.


That's been documented.  It's offset by another biological tendency to find the people you were raised with as siblings sexually repulsive.  This safety mechanism fails when siblings are raised separately.
 
2013-02-21 04:26:10 AM  

100 Watt Walrus: Uchiha_Cycliste: Oznog: But even after she was shacking up with my friend, there was one time we were at a party... my friend was inside, and my sister and I were outside alone. It was a really intimate moment. I think something might have happened, except that I killed the mood when I told her that Darth Vader was our father and that I had to go face him.

Well played!
Can't go wrong with the classics

Should have ended with a /not mine or something though. That yarn, awesome as it is, is at least 2 years old. (Link to apparently original source.)


I would be shocked if that didn't actually originate on /b/
 
2013-02-21 04:30:07 AM  
I sympathise with the rather dull last letter.  I work with someone who is an awful storyteller.  If he wants to describe a chain of events to you in order to ask you a question it is long, meandering, full of unnecessary detail, and actually impossible to tell what the important points are to pay attention to so you can reasonably answer the inevitable question.

Any attempts to hurry him along so you can get back to work, get him to tell you the question first so you know what to listen for, or ask what his actual point is and he gets offended and sulks like a child for the rest of the day.

/Can I punch him
//Just once...
 
2013-02-21 04:33:40 AM  

Oh, and just because we've wandered into territory where "Star Wars," sex and sisters have all intertwined...

img801.imageshack.us
 
2013-02-21 04:34:37 AM  

if_i_really_have_to: I sympathise with the rather dull last letter.  I work with someone who is an awful storyteller.  If he wants to describe a chain of events to you in order to ask you a question it is long, meandering, full of unnecessary detail, and actually impossible to tell what the important points are to pay attention to so you can reasonably answer the inevitable question.

Any attempts to hurry him along so you can get back to work, get him to tell you the question first so you know what to listen for, or ask what his actual point is and he gets offended and sulks like a child for the rest of the day.

/Can I punch him
//Just once...


You actually can punch him, and conveniently enough, you do get to do it *just* once.
 
2013-02-21 04:44:09 AM  

postnobills: Meh.  My parents are related - not quite this closely but close enough to have the same last name.  The extended family considered each of them unmarriageable so why not kill two birds with one stone and marry them off to each other?  The only condition was they weren't supposed to have kids.

Oops.


In researching my and my husbands family tree, I found lots of examples of cousins marrying. Mostly above 1rst cousin level, but it appears it just wasn't that big a deal until recently.

...also discovered that husband and I share at least one ancestor several generations ago. Kind of neat.
 
2013-02-21 04:47:08 AM  

postnobills: Darth_Lukecash: postnobills: Meh.  My parents are related - not quite this closely but close enough to have the same last name.  The extended family considered each of them unmarriageable so why not kill two birds with one stone and marry them off to each other?  The only condition was they weren't supposed to have kids.

Oops.

Roosevelt?

Nope.

If you do the research, this kind of thing is actually far more common than most of us would like to believe.  In the west it simply isn't talked about, but in some cultures second or even first cousins are considered the best candidates for marriage.  In my case, so far I've been pretty healthy but the genetic counselor did suggest that I shouldn't try to have kids myself.


That's odd to me, as no matter what, you're only donating half your genetic material to a child. Maybe get a second opinion.
 
2013-02-21 04:49:51 AM  

ng2810: Why are there so many people calling this fake?


Because it's Prudence.
 
2013-02-21 05:14:57 AM  

foxyshadis: GAT_00: This did not farking happen.  But thanks for another dose of manufactured tabloid bullshiat.

I'd say Prudie jumped the shark, except I couldn't remember a time I actually believed one of her headlining letters. (The rest are much more real and sad, though.)

It's like The Onion, consider it entertainment for the easily amused, naive, and prurient.


Her headline  letter typically echoes some hot topic that was in MSM a few months earlier.  This is no exception.
 
2013-02-21 05:16:02 AM  

themasterdebater: What do you win from Slate for having the most outrageous Dear Prudence letter ever?


Prudie's job.
 
2013-02-21 05:17:36 AM  

InitialCommentGuy: As the child of a couple who had to term to sperm donation?  This is the nightmare scenario.  A small but not zero number of individuals develop something called Genetic Sexual Attraction.  When I was a younger man in the dating scene I crossed my fingers that this wouldn't happen.  While I doubt the story?  Definitely feel for the writer if it is true and thank everything that it wasn't me.


Man, you turkey baster babies are farked up.
 
2013-02-21 05:36:45 AM  
www.deviantart.com
 
2013-02-21 05:39:33 AM  
You know, for YEARS, I've been waiting for the opportunity to look at someone saying "I'd like you to meet my wife and my sister" (and there's one woman standing there) and have it be TRUE!!!

Oh, the jokes...
/straight family tree
/blue skinned kids
/deliverance

Never before has that old hillbilly joke been SO APPROPOS

//leaving satisfied
 
2013-02-21 05:52:43 AM  
Move to Kentucky. No one will notice.
 
2013-02-21 05:53:55 AM  

snowballinhell: You know, for YEARS, I've been waiting for the opportunity to look at someone saying "I'd like you to meet my wife and my sister" (and there's one woman standing there) and have it be TRUE!!!

Oh, the jokes...
/straight family tree
/blue skinned kids
/deliverance

Never before has that old hillbilly joke been SO APPROPOS

//leaving satisfied


The kids have blue skin?
J/K
 
2013-02-21 06:05:38 AM  
This sounds like a classic Dear Abby prank.
 
ows
2013-02-21 06:07:15 AM  
...........just don't cut the tail off your baby, because they're just so cute when their tail wags when they're laughing.
 
2013-02-21 06:16:26 AM  

ows: ...........just don't cut the tail off your baby, because they're just so cute when their tail wags when they're laughing.


So true... ; )
heylady.net
 
2013-02-21 06:37:53 AM  
Dear Prudence is a bunch of drunk people in a room making up stories. Much like Weekly World News.

"Dear Prudence, my cousin says she was raped by Batboy and now is pregnant with a reincarnated pirate..."
 
2013-02-21 06:56:48 AM  
Honestly, who cares.
Even if this were real, I can't bring myself to think it's weird.  If you're raised with your sibling like normal brothers and sisters and then marry them, THAT'S weird.  Even if you haven't been raised together but you know ahead of time that they're your sibling and you have a relationship anyway... that's weird, even if the feelings are more understandable.  But if you were raised completely separately, grew up totally apart from each other, happened to meet under normal circumstances, fell in love got married and had kids, and now are JUST finding out that you're half-related?  Frankly I think the weird thing would be to let that fact change anything at all.  At that point it is of no real importance.
 
2013-02-21 06:59:44 AM  

J. Frank Parnell: postnobills: My point is there are plenty of people out there with trees like that who aren't even royalty.

I'd say chances are every genetic line has had it happen several times, at least.

Would only become a serious problem if you do it for many consecutive generations, and even then it would be worked out after a few generations of breeding outside of your family. They breed horses within the same families all the time. The logic is supposedly that it amplifies any existing traits within family genetics, but it's kind of a crap shoot on whether what gets amplified are good traits or bad. If that applies the same to humans it wouldn't always mean bad things happen.


We do the same thing with dogs... Line breeding... But never to the same degree of relation as discussed in the article... They may share a "great grandpa" or similar. However, with dogs, I don't believe genetic information is transmitted 50/50 as it is with humans... I think the dam contributes more. Even if that isn't true, the dogs don't care... The boys aren't picky when a girl is in season. I wonder what the neighbors think when they hear from our property "Bennie! That's your sister! Leave her alone!"

/wishes humans had a breed warden program set up like dogs have
//that might eliminate the need for a Florida tag in a few generations though
/// I also breed slashies
 
2013-02-21 07:03:39 AM  

Gawdzila: Honestly, who cares.
Even if this were real, I can't bring myself to think it's weird.  If you're raised with your sibling like normal brothers and sisters and then marry them, THAT'S weird.  Even if you haven't been raised together but you know ahead of time that they're your sibling and you have a relationship anyway... that's weird, even if the feelings are more understandable.  But if you were raised completely separately, grew up totally apart from each other, happened to meet under normal circumstances, fell in love got married and had kids, and now are JUST finding out that you're half-related?  Frankly I think the weird thing would be to let that fact change anything at all.  At that point it is of no real importance.


Wow, that was really well said, and I believe it to be correct. I didn't expect that on fark congrats ; )
 
2013-02-21 07:36:07 AM  

James F. Campbell: It's not terribly surprising that people are intensely sexually attracted to others who share similar genes.


It is called genetic sexual attraction (GSA). Adoptees who go through counselling before meeting their birth family learn about it.
See, when you grow up with someone your brain gets wired to see them in a non sexual way. When you don't grow up with them you don't get that wiring. If you meet someone as an adult that you happen to be related too your brain can then see them as a possible sexual partner without all the internal mental prohibitions that would be there if you had grown up together.
Adding to that, people in this situation often mistake facial resemblance for attractiveness in the other person. Your brain doesn't know what to do with a face that looks like your own and often interprets that similarity incorrectly as attractiveness.

/adoptee
//Been through the counselling.
///Met my birth mom and she is awesome.
////Yay birth families!!!!
 
2013-02-21 07:43:34 AM  

Rising_Zan_Samurai_Gunman: So they're half-siblings. As long as their mother's weren't related their kids would likely be fine (and they are - they have three).  The main concern would be if the father had some genetic disease or was a carrier of one as they would have an increased risk of having kids with the disease.

 It may seem gross, but they should just continue as they are if they're happy.


I agree with the genetic counseling advice (just to be sure for the kids). I don't know that I'd recommend telling the spouse...it really depends on the person and the relationship. I'd have said go talk to a marriage counselor (alone) and have them take it from there on whether or not to disclose. I think there are some people who just couldn't handle it, and it would take a good situation and ruin it for everyone...for no purpose. That being said, there are people who'd want to know no matter what, and she might be that type of person. Extremely situational.

And probably fake, but one of those 'could've happened's
 
2013-02-21 08:07:48 AM  
I didn't feel like going into work today so I called my boss
me : Boss, I can't come in today I'm sick
boss : Well how sick are you?
me : I just got done farking my sister, that's pretty farking sick

/ stolen
// sick
 
2013-02-21 08:09:55 AM  
See what happens when you let the gays marry?
 
2013-02-21 08:11:41 AM  
how long has ivf been around? lesbians were allowed to get sperm more then 20 years ago?
 
2013-02-21 08:20:57 AM  
The only possible conclusion is that some European prince wrote in, and "sperm donor" is a euphemism for a wayward royal.
 
2013-02-21 08:26:06 AM  

Oznog: except that I killed the mood when I told her that Darth Vader was our father and that I had to go face him.


Well played
 
2013-02-21 08:36:14 AM  
snag.gy
 
2013-02-21 08:55:28 AM  

IAMTHEINTARWEBS: See, when you grow up with someone your brain gets wired to see them in a non sexual way. When you don't grow up with them you don't get that wiring. If you meet someone as an adult that you happen to be related too your brain can then see them as a possible sexual partner without all the internal mental prohibitions that would be there if you had grown up together.


pciszek: That's been documented. It's offset by another biological tendency to find the people you were raised with as siblings sexually repulsive. This safety mechanism fails when siblings are raised separately.


I am already aware of the Westermarck effect. I also know that recent studies have begun to show evidence that the Westermarck effect does not exist.
 
2013-02-21 09:21:14 AM  

James F. Campbell: IAMTHEINTARWEBS: See, when you grow up with someone your brain gets wired to see them in a non sexual way. When you don't grow up with them you don't get that wiring. If you meet someone as an adult that you happen to be related too your brain can then see them as a possible sexual partner without all the internal mental prohibitions that would be there if you had grown up together.

pciszek: That's been documented. It's offset by another biological tendency to find the people you were raised with as siblings sexually repulsive. This safety mechanism fails when siblings are raised separately.

I am already aware of the Westermarck effect. I also know that recent studies have begun to show evidence that the Westermarck effect does not exist.


Sounds like you boned your sister
 
2013-02-21 09:26:20 AM  
These freakouts always remind me of this story.

http://everything2.com/title/If+All+Men+Were+Brothers%252C+Would+You +L et+One+Marry+Your+Sister%253F

It's what happens when you actually think about the matter instead of just going for the joke.
 
2013-02-21 09:27:44 AM  
Hotness trumps sisterness.
 
2013-02-21 09:35:09 AM  
If the kids asked why the all have oversized jaws and sloping foreheads just tell them the family comes from British royalty.
 
2013-02-21 09:41:53 AM  

100 Watt Walrus: Uchiha_Cycliste: Oznog: But even after she was shacking up with my friend, there was one time we were at a party... my friend was inside, and my sister and I were outside alone. It was a really intimate moment. I think something might have happened, except that I killed the mood when I told her that Darth Vader was our father and that I had to go face him.

Well played!
Can't go wrong with the classics

Should have ended with a /not mine or something though. That yarn, awesome as it is, is at least 2 years old. (Link to apparently original source.)


No, that was copypasta from 4chan in like 2005, probably even before then and probably from someplace completely else. There was a phase on 4chan of trying to disguise well known movie/game plots as someone's "own story". I think the best one I have seen was actually a 6 page story that turned out to be the lyrics of Mr. Brightside. That, my friends, was a pretty awesome one. Reddit has no original material, its all copied from other places.

/A lot like fark.
 
2013-02-21 09:54:36 AM  

boinkingbill: If the kids asked why the all have oversized jaws and sloping foreheads just tell them the family comes from British royalty.


images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-02-21 10:18:10 AM  

Oznog: ng2810: Why are there so many people calling this fake? It may be extremely bizarre and disturbing, yes, but it could happen!

I just discovered I have a brother who is around my age. Dad farked a hooker when he came to the US, and she became pregnant. Mom and Dad nearly broke up because of it, but they instead paid her to keep her trap shut and tried to keep him a secret. Once I became an adult and had access to our family financial records, I found out.

He is a sailor in the US Navy and frequents the same areas as me when in San Diego. My dad is a Navy veteran and I am at the Naval base all the time. We could have easily met up sometime before I found out he was my brother.

I also know of people who found long-lost siblings by meeting them at parties. It really isn't unusual for siblings raised apart and who have no knowledge of each other to become attracted to one another.

Wow... okay, I wasn't sure if I was ever going to tell anyone about this, but it's late and I'm sleep deprived so i guess I'll just write it now and regret it in the morning :(

First of all, - just for some background: My mom died right when I was born, (she was actually really, really hot- but this isn't about her. I guess that's farked-up up to say, but whatever.) I actually grew up with my dad's family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before I was born. So you can see, my childhood was really kind of messed up.

Anyways, growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister. When I was about 17 or 18 I first noticed that my sister was a hottie.

I don't want to go into to many details about it, but basically what happened is that I accidentally found a video that she made of herself. I knew she didn't make it for me- but I thought she was so farking beautiful that I watched it twice. I probably would have watched it a hell of a lot more, except that like right around the time I found the video, all this crazy shiat went down an ...


+1 internets
 
2013-02-21 10:19:44 AM  
Ha! This thread is a bit timely for me! No I am not inbred..but I did (briefly) date someone who was in high school. I broke it off as soon as he told me: My grandfather is also my father and my mother is his daughter. 0_o His parents lived together and did look alike. He ended up stalking me like the psycho he was after I broke up with him. Fast forward to 2013. I'm bored on FB. So I search some old names of people I used to know including inbred ex. Turns out he's married with two kids. So I email his wife: do you know your husband is the product of incest? (hopefully not) And now that you know you have an obligation to tell your children when they are old enough. I doubt he told her. I cannot make myself think she already knows and would knowingly have children with him.
/wonder how long my message will sit in her FB other box before she sees it?
 
2013-02-21 10:24:19 AM  

dee231: Ha! This thread is a bit timely for me! No I am not inbred..but I did (briefly) date someone who was in high school. I broke it off as soon as he told me: My grandfather is also my father and my mother is his daughter. 0_o His parents lived together and did look alike. He ended up stalking me like the psycho he was after I broke up with him. Fast forward to 2013. I'm bored on FB. So I search some old names of people I used to know including inbred ex. Turns out he's married with two kids. So I email his wife: do you know your husband is the product of incest? (hopefully not) And now that you know you have an obligation to tell your children when they are old enough. I doubt he told her. I cannot make myself think she already knows and would knowingly have children with him.
/wonder how long my message will sit in her FB other box before she sees it?


I can't believe he didn't pick different parents. What a sicko.
 
2013-02-21 10:29:15 AM  
Is she hot?
 
2013-02-21 10:37:17 AM  

Snarfangel: dee231: Ha! This thread is a bit timely for me! No I am not inbred..but I did (briefly) date someone who was in high school. I broke it off as soon as he told me: My grandfather is also my father and my mother is his daughter. 0_o His parents lived together and did look alike. He ended up stalking me like the psycho he was after I broke up with him. Fast forward to 2013. I'm bored on FB. So I search some old names of people I used to know including inbred ex. Turns out he's married with two kids. So I email his wife: do you know your husband is the product of incest? (hopefully not) And now that you know you have an obligation to tell your children when they are old enough. I doubt he told her. I cannot make myself think she already knows and would knowingly have children with him.
/wonder how long my message will sit in her FB other box before she sees it?

I can't believe he didn't pick different parents. What a sicko.


Well obviously you cannot control who your parents are but if you know your parents are father and daughter don't have kids yourself!
 
2013-02-21 10:43:44 AM  

postnobills: Darth_Lukecash: postnobills: Meh.  My parents are related - not quite this closely but close enough to have the same last name.  The extended family considered each of them unmarriageable so why not kill two birds with one stone and marry them off to each other?  The only condition was they weren't supposed to have kids.

Oops.

Roosevelt?

Nope.

If you do the research, this kind of thing is actually far more common than most of us would like to believe.  In the west it simply isn't talked about, but in some cultures second or even first cousins are considered the best candidates for marriage.  In my case, so far I've been pretty healthy but the genetic counselor did suggest that I shouldn't try to have kids myself.


Well, first cousins apparently have no genetic risk if they have kids, but yeah, if the counselor said don't have kids, don't. Adopt, it'll make your life happier. Mostly because you can adopt a kid old enough so you won't have to change diapers.

/I speak as someone who has had to change small-child diapers. That shiat is nasty.
 
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