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(10TV Columbus)   Some stories have it all. 500 pound man riding motorized shopping cart is being accused of setting a fire at Walmart to cover his shoplifiting tracks. With pics of what a 500 pound man riding a motorized cart thru Walmart would look like   (10tv.com) divider line 68
    More: Fail, Wal-Mart, motorized shopping cart, Whitehall  
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12238 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Feb 2013 at 9:06 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-20 09:07:06 PM  
With Walmart I would have thought that that description would have fit about 75% of their customers. The skinny ones would be on meth of course.
 
2013-02-20 09:11:20 PM  
Wow, That's heavy, man.
 
2013-02-20 09:11:42 PM  
Gillman was on a motorized scooter when he allegedly planned to steal electronics and safes, according to authorities.

/wait, what??
 
2013-02-20 09:11:55 PM  
Yeah, I'm surprised he didn't just blend in with the crowd and slip out unnoticed.
 
2013-02-20 09:12:59 PM  
Almost made it...

static.guim.co.uk
 
2013-02-20 09:13:15 PM  
26 years old lookin' like a slowly inflating balloon in need of a shave robbin' Wal*Marts on a Wal*Cart. I'd say his life isn't turning out quite like he planned it.

/Walk faster! He's very slowly getting away!!
 
2013-02-20 09:13:28 PM  
Call me when him and his twin are making a getaway on minibikes.
 
2013-02-20 09:13:45 PM  
If you weigh 500 pounds you have no business leaving your home. Go be fat somewhere else. Like home.
 
2013-02-20 09:15:00 PM  
This is what happens when we have a large subspecies of humans that are evolving without a sense of dignity or shame. They're just like animals. They'd poop on the ground in front of you if there wasn't a law about it.
 
2013-02-20 09:16:27 PM  
Flint Ironstag:

With Walmart I would have thought that that description would have fit about 75% of their customers. The skinny ones would be on meth of course.

Came for this. Satisfied.

I love Walmart for making me feel thin, handsome and well-dressed. The local transit buses have that effect too.
 
2013-02-20 09:16:41 PM  
Way to go fatty!
 
2013-02-20 09:16:46 PM  

John Buck 41: If you weigh 500 pounds you have no business leaving your home. Go be fat somewhere else. Like home.


^^
This.
/Fat man
//I can move under my own power though.
///Trying really hard to get it all off. Lost 75# so far.
 
2013-02-20 09:17:33 PM  
Go be a shoplifter/arsonist somewhere else...
 
2013-02-20 09:18:39 PM  
LOL I know someone who looks exactly like this, thick-rimmed glasses and all.
/so I'm getting a kick.
//not a 500 pound man
 
2013-02-20 09:19:41 PM  

WordsnCollision: Gillman was on a motorized scooter when he allegedly planned to steal electronics and safes, according to authorities.

/wait, what??


Aside from the fattie aspect of this story, I came to post that part.  Safes?????
 
2013-02-20 09:25:35 PM  
Too many scripts.  Didn't see any pics.
 
2013-02-20 09:27:07 PM  

John Buck 41: If you weigh 500 pounds you have no business leaving your home. Go be fat somewhere else. Like home.


The real story is how he ever left home. Seriously? How? Is his front door a garage bay door? What does a 500 lb person drive/ride?
 
2013-02-20 09:28:56 PM  
So, just to be sure... we're all OK with using his weight to hate him even more?
 
2013-02-20 09:30:46 PM  
So the fire exit was locked?  Fattie deserves what he is getting but I see Walmart being a defendant in a case or two as well.
 
2013-02-20 09:31:35 PM  
Anyone who has ever been to a Walmart knows what a 500 lbs man riding a motorized shopping looks like.
 
2013-02-20 09:33:46 PM  
So an average Tea Party Patriot is now the object of ridicule.

YORE THE REAL RACIST!
 
2013-02-20 09:34:29 PM  
And there are those of you that say Ohio doesn't need its own tag.  Poo I say !  Poo
 
2013-02-20 09:39:42 PM  
ahhhh my home state!  I even lived in Whitehall at one point before the Walmart days.  That article gave me a headache.  Rack of fire - hmmm have had rack of lamb wonder how rack of fire tastes? "Mother in that store employees" - interesting - where they swearing him out - hey you mother of that store employee!!!
 
2013-02-20 09:43:49 PM  

Clock Spider Jerusalem: This is what happens when we have a large subspecies of humans that are evolving without a sense of dignity or shame. They're just like animals. They'd poop on the ground in front of you if there wasn't a law about it.


This waste of oxygen will never do anything positive with his life. I'm quite certain we taxpayers are sending him a monthly check. He needs to be exterminated.
 
2013-02-20 09:45:39 PM  
Whitehall, Ohio is just east of Columbus and obviously a high-class part of town
 
2013-02-20 09:46:07 PM  

Benderama: Anyone who has ever been to a Walmart knows what a 500 lbs man riding a motorized shopping looks like.


It's a bit different in Canada. It's basically a regular store here.
 
2013-02-20 09:51:23 PM  
Big_Doofus:
This waste of oxygen will never do anything positive with his life. I'm quite certain we taxpayers are sending him a monthly check. He needs to be exterminated.

As an Ohio citizen, I am pleased to support his housing, meals and medical care for a good long time.
In prison.
Have fun, jellyball
 
2013-02-20 09:52:21 PM  

margarito bandito: So the fire exit was locked?  Fattie deserves what he is getting but I see Walmart being a defendant in a case or two as well.


He was probably too wide to fit through the door.
 
2013-02-20 09:52:28 PM  

Bastard Toadflax: So, just to be sure... we're all OK with using his weight to hate him even more?


I can't speak for everyone, but for me? I'm ok with this.
 
2013-02-20 09:54:20 PM  

WordsnCollision: Gillman was on a motorized scooter when he allegedly planned to steal electronics and safes, according to authorities.

/wait, what??


I don't know why, but that was the little detail that cracked me up.
 
2013-02-20 09:55:31 PM  

lemortede: John Buck 41: If you weigh 500 pounds you have no business leaving your home. Go be fat somewhere else. Like home.

^^
This.
/Fat man
//I can move under my own power though.
///Trying really hard to get it all off. Lost 75# so far.


Holy crap...75 pounds!?! That's some serious dedication. Congrats!!!
 
2013-02-20 09:57:52 PM  
As a former Wal-mart loss prevention associate, I'm getting a kick.
/Saw some weird stuff during my stint, but this takes the cake.
 
2013-02-20 09:58:08 PM  
Sentence him to walk wherever he goes, no motorized anything, car, bus motorbike, etc. ya wanna go ya walk or pedal, either he loses weight and becomes a productive member of society or he dies of a heart attack, either way we win
 
2013-02-20 09:59:32 PM  
I suppose a foot chase is out of the question, right?
 
2013-02-20 10:06:49 PM  
Walk behind him and hit the emergency cutoff.

Tell him he can keep whatever he walks out with.
 
2013-02-20 10:07:31 PM  

Oldiron_79: Call me when him and his twin are making a getaway on minibikes.


My grandparents had a Guinness Book of World Records with those two in it, back in the 70's.

/csb
 
2013-02-20 10:08:22 PM  

FunkOut: Benderama: Anyone who has ever been to a Walmart knows what a 500 lbs man riding a motorized shopping looks like.

It's a bit different in Canada. It's basically a regular store here.


Would you believe that here in Japan the Walmarts don't even have motorized shopping carts?  Insanity, I tell you.

/called Seiyu here
//you can get your very own walmart credit card at them
 
2013-02-20 10:18:01 PM  

MutantMotherMouse: John Buck 41: If you weigh 500 pounds you have no business leaving your home. Go be fat somewhere else. Like home.

The real story is how he ever left home. Seriously? How? Is his front door a garage bay door? What does a 500 lb person drive/ride?


They showed his car in the story and it looked like a regular sedan, pretty sure he wasn't driving, probably one of those cars with the folding down seats into the trunk, and he just flopped in.....

/kind of like Shamu at Sea World splashing up on that platform for the kiddies
 
2013-02-20 10:19:36 PM  

Gadflypaper: Oldiron_79: Call me when him and his twin are making a getaway on minibikes.
My grandparents had a Guinness Book of World Records with those two in it, back in the 70's.
/csb


I saw those guys once, back in the 70's.  There was a traveling show  about the world record holders going around the country, and they were in it  I didn't go to the show though.  I saw them both at the McDonald's drive-thru.  They were even on their little motorcycles.
 
2013-02-20 10:19:47 PM  

mr intrepid: I suppose a foot chase is out of the question, right?


bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.com

/beeeeeeep!!
 
2013-02-20 10:29:01 PM  

lemortede: John Buck 41: If you weigh 500 pounds you have no business leaving your home. Go be fat somewhere else. Like home.

^^
This.
/Fat man
//I can move under my own power though.
///Trying really hard to get it all off. Lost 75# so far.


Is this what they call nested trolling? Or a troll and a bite. Can't tell.
 
2013-02-20 10:30:54 PM  

Misidea: As a former Wal-mart loss prevention associate, I'm getting a kick.
/Saw some weird stuff during my stint, but this takes the cake.


CSS time:

I worked at Walmart as a teenager. One time, a woman tried to scam me, trying to take a large inflatable pool toy through the register line without paying.  She said something like "My brother has the receipt. I'm trying to find him. But you see, I have a dead eye."  I was polite but thinking, OK one-eye, let's see this brother with the receipt.

I also had a customer who appeared to have been partially decapitated and her head perched precariously on her neck, with little pieces of tape holding it on. I shiat you not, this woman had a continuous horizontal scar where I could see the front of her throat, and there were little pieces of some kind of striated tape sitting vertically over the scar, spaced at even intervals. She tried to hold her head down to hide it, hence the odd head angle. She was with a guy, I wondered if he was the author of that scar and whether he forced her to go out without a high-necked shirt or scarf to hide it.

\has many more appalling WalMart stories
 
2013-02-20 10:32:25 PM  
"You're dealing with an extremely dangerous individual here that doesn't care about the possibility of children in the store, babies in the store, mother in that store employees," added Kelso.

I hope that was quoted verbatim.

/cop hate
 
2013-02-20 10:36:47 PM  

Bastard Toadflax: So, just to be sure... we're all OK with using his weight to hate him even more?


He wasn't caught stealing gym equipment and diet supplements.
 
2013-02-20 10:39:56 PM  

Egalitarian: Misidea: As a former Wal-mart loss prevention associate, I'm getting a kick.
/Saw some weird stuff during my stint, but this takes the cake.

CSS time:

I worked at Walmart as a teenager. One time, a woman tried to scam me, trying to take a large inflatable pool toy through the register line without paying.  She said something like "My brother has the receipt. I'm trying to find him. But you see, I have a dead eye."  I was polite but thinking, OK one-eye, let's see this brother with the receipt.

I also had a customer who appeared to have been partially decapitated and her head perched precariously on her neck, with little pieces of tape holding it on. I shiat you not, this woman had a continuous horizontal scar where I could see the front of her throat, and there were little pieces of some kind of striated tape sitting vertically over the scar, spaced at even intervals. She tried to hold her head down to hide it, hence the odd head angle. She was with a guy, I wondered if he was the author of that scar and whether he forced her to go out without a high-necked shirt or scarf to hide it.

\has many more appalling WalMart stories


Those are called steristrips
 
2013-02-20 10:46:01 PM  

Egalitarian: Misidea: As a former Wal-mart loss prevention associate, I'm getting a kick.
/Saw some weird stuff during my stint, but this takes the cake.

CSS time:

I worked at Walmart as a teenager. One time, a woman tried to scam me, trying to take a large inflatable pool toy through the register line without paying.  She said something like "My brother has the receipt. I'm trying to find him. But you see, I have a dead eye."  I was polite but thinking, OK one-eye, let's see this brother with the receipt.

I also had a customer who appeared to have been partially decapitated and her head perched precariously on her neck, with little pieces of tape holding it on. I shiat you not, this woman had a continuous horizontal scar where I could see the front of her throat, and there were little pieces of some kind of striated tape sitting vertically over the scar, spaced at even intervals. She tried to hold her head down to hide it, hence the odd head angle. She was with a guy, I wondered if he was the author of that scar and whether he forced her to go out without a high-necked shirt or scarf to hide it.

\has many more appalling WalMart stories


Dear lord. I think the worst I had was being propositioned by shoplifters after they were caught, also angry dwarfs going punch-happy.
 
2013-02-20 10:49:06 PM  

Egalitarian: Misidea: As a former Wal-mart loss prevention associate, I'm getting a kick.
/Saw some weird stuff during my stint, but this takes the cake.

CSS time:

I worked at Walmart as a teenager. One time, a woman tried to scam me, trying to take a large inflatable pool toy through the register line without paying.  She said something like "My brother has the receipt. I'm trying to find him. But you see, I have a dead eye."  I was polite but thinking, OK one-eye, let's see this brother with the receipt.

I also had a customer who appeared to have been partially decapitated and her head perched precariously on her neck, with little pieces of tape holding it on. I shiat you not, this woman had a continuous horizontal scar where I could see the front of her throat, and there were little pieces of some kind of striated tape sitting vertically over the scar, spaced at even intervals. She tried to hold her head down to hide it, hence the odd head angle. She was with a guy, I wondered if he was the author of that scar and whether he forced her to go out without a high-necked shirt or scarf to hide it.

\has many more appalling WalMart stories


Go on...
 
2013-02-20 10:49:43 PM  

margarito bandito: So the fire exit was locked?  Fattie deserves what he is getting but I see Walmart being a defendant in a case or two as well.


Since this is the Wally World I work at, I doubt it was a fire door. Given they just fixed all of them after finding out one that was not working (the alarm didn't go off) was used to steal $16,000 in TV's, they've been fixing that.
 
2013-02-20 11:04:13 PM  

pootsie: Whitehall, Ohio is just east of Columbus and obviously a high-class part of town


Ohio doesn't have a "high-class" part of town.

/Fled Canton
 
2013-02-20 11:09:58 PM  
Genius was wanted for violating his probation for a previous arson conviction.  I guess you go with what you know.  Apparently he knows how to set fire to things; he just hasn't mastered that whole "don't get arrested" thing.
 
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