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(io9)   As a rebuttal to an article of how dolphins are awesome; evidence that Flipper is a bigger asshole than the guy who takes up two parking spaces with his piece of trash PT Cruiser   (io9.com) divider line 50
    More: Followup, dolphins, Deep Sea News, Chipko movement, parking spaces, rebuttals, flippers  
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3822 clicks; posted to Geek » on 20 Feb 2013 at 4:47 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-20 04:19:53 PM  
I thought pretty much everyone knew this. Dolphins are the dickheads of the sea. Just goes to show that a bigger brain doesn't make you a nice person or animal. Hell we should be thankful everyday that they're stuck in the ocean....for now

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-20 04:53:32 PM  
Why not just link directly to the article rather than an article about the article?
 
2013-02-20 04:56:38 PM  

cgraves67: Why not just link directly to the article rather than an article about the article?


Noob.

;)
 
2013-02-20 05:00:43 PM  

cgraves67: Why not just link directly to the article rather than an article about the article?


Because somebody submitted that article already with a garbage headline that got rejected. I was determined.

/Subby
 
2013-02-20 05:04:06 PM  
 
2013-02-20 05:06:15 PM  
"Mmm, underage Alba..."


img001.lazygirls.info

That's Flipper talking, not me.
 
2013-02-20 05:11:53 PM  
Infanticide by males may occur within dolphins, as it does in other species, because females become immediately ready for pregnancy after the death of infant.

Dafuq?
 
2013-02-20 05:16:56 PM  
Why the random PT Cruiser slam...?  Oh wait.  Right.  This is Fark, I forgot.  Carry on.
 
2013-02-20 05:17:40 PM  
Dolphins are worse than [cut to man in dentist's chair with mouth propped open.  dentist sneezes in mouth] :\
 
2013-02-20 05:23:51 PM  

Osomatic: Why the random PT Cruiser slam...?  Oh wait.  Right.  This is Fark, I forgot.  Carry on.


Because I loathe those farking things, and some asshole parked in the middle of two parking places right next to the door at Wendy's like it was a prized possession worthy of admiration and awe. When I walked in with my friends I said rather loudly "Who's piece of shiat PT Cruiser is taking up two parking spaces?" Got some laughs and some "for reals". The person moved it when we left, because who is going to own up to that asshattery? Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

/coolstorybro
 
2013-02-20 05:26:26 PM  

thecpt: Dolphins are worse than [cut to man in dentist's chair with mouth propped open.  dentist sneezes in mouth] :\


I like those commercials. Especially the one where the woman's walking her chihuahua and an eagle swoops down and takes it away. So random it made me rewind to watch it again.
 
2013-02-20 05:31:34 PM  
Who doesn't know dolphins are assholes?  Around here, we call frat boys the "dolphins of dry land."
 
2013-02-20 05:34:45 PM  
 
2013-02-20 05:34:50 PM  
i.adultswim.com
 
2013-02-20 05:35:08 PM  
Animated Gif at Animals being dicks. At least it didn't rape and eat the little girl.
 
2013-02-20 05:39:51 PM  

ParagonComplex: Osomatic: Why the random PT Cruiser slam...?  Oh wait.  Right.  This is Fark, I forgot.  Carry on.

Because I loathe those farking things, and some asshole parked in the middle of two parking places right next to the door at Wendy's like it was a prized possession worthy of admiration and awe. When I walked in with my friends I said rather loudly "Who's piece of shiat PT Cruiser is taking up two parking spaces?" Got some laughs and some "for reals". The person moved it when we left, because who is going to own up to that asshattery? Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

/coolstorybro


Well, my wife has had one for 10 years now, and it's been a great car, so nyah nyah nyah.
 
2013-02-20 05:39:52 PM  
Dolphins genetically engineered Hitler.


/godwin
 
2013-02-20 05:48:34 PM  

tricycleracer: Infanticide by males may occur within dolphins, as it does in other species, because females become immediately ready for pregnancy after the death of infant.

Dafuq?


Have you ever tried to have sexytime with a female while her kid was in the vicinity? Dolphins can't just send their kids to the neighbors when they are in the mood....
 
2013-02-20 05:55:56 PM  

scottydoesntknow: thecpt: Dolphins are worse than [cut to man in dentist's chair with mouth propped open.  dentist sneezes in mouth] :\

I like those commercials. Especially the one where the woman's walking her chihuahua and an eagle swoops down and takes it away. So random it made me rewind to watch it again.


I miss the Hostile Marital Problems commercials...and that 'genie' is Jeter's ho-bag.
 
2013-02-20 05:57:42 PM  

ParagonComplex: cgraves67: Why not just link directly to the article rather than an article about the article?

Because somebody submitted that article already with a garbage headline that got rejected. I was determined.

/Subby


FYI, you can add a question mark to the end of the url and anything you want after it.  The url will work and it won't get rejected if someone has already submitted the original.

Like this: Original url -  http://www.fark.com/  Edited for submission -  http://www.fark.com/?dolphinssuck

Kanemano: Sharks are cool


There is no way doing that could possibly backfire.
 
2013-02-20 06:00:44 PM  
Right now, there's a dolphin with 11 baby dolphins, and that dolphin bought a horse with your money, and the horse is watching the dolphin masturbate.

With your money.

/I think I've finally reached Fark Zen Level 9
 
2013-02-20 06:01:57 PM  

Osomatic: ParagonComplex: Osomatic: Why the random PT Cruiser slam...?  Oh wait.  Right.  This is Fark, I forgot.  Carry on.

Because I loathe those farking things, and some asshole parked in the middle of two parking places right next to the door at Wendy's like it was a prized possession worthy of admiration and awe. When I walked in with my friends I said rather loudly "Who's piece of shiat PT Cruiser is taking up two parking spaces?" Got some laughs and some "for reals". The person moved it when we left, because who is going to own up to that asshattery? Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

/coolstorybro

Well, my wife has had one for 10 years now, and it's been a great car, so nyah nyah nyah.


Well that's just like...your opinion man...

My opinion and pretty much everyone I've ever talked to is that they are econo-shiat boxes.   I've had them for rentals before and the interior is so farking shoddy it's ridiculous, the space is subpar for how big the car looks, and the power is equivalent to a self-propelled lawnmower.
 
2013-02-20 06:08:41 PM  
And what about ducks?
 
2013-02-20 06:33:50 PM  
Oh, and if you've been to the big aquarium in Epcot (The Living Seas), you may have noted the jail-like bars that fence one part off from another.  I asked about that.  Most fish can swim right through, but it keeps the dolphins away from the sea turtles.  That became necessary because they found a sea turtle pinned against the wall by a dolphin, being spun like a plate.  The dolphin thought it was a blast, of course.
 
2013-02-20 06:43:54 PM  

Girion47: Osomatic: ParagonComplex: Osomatic: Why the random PT Cruiser slam...?  Oh wait.  Right.  This is Fark, I forgot.  Carry on.

Because I loathe those farking things, and some asshole parked in the middle of two parking places right next to the door at Wendy's like it was a prized possession worthy of admiration and awe. When I walked in with my friends I said rather loudly "Who's piece of shiat PT Cruiser is taking up two parking spaces?" Got some laughs and some "for reals". The person moved it when we left, because who is going to own up to that asshattery? Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

/coolstorybro

Well, my wife has had one for 10 years now, and it's been a great car, so nyah nyah nyah.

Well that's just like...your opinion man...

My opinion and pretty much everyone I've ever talked to is that they are econo-shiat boxes.   I've had them for rentals before and the interior is so farking shoddy it's ridiculous, the space is subpar for how big the car looks, and the power is equivalent to a self-propelled lawnmower.


Well, then you shouldn't buy one.
 
2013-02-20 06:50:53 PM  
i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-02-20 07:11:05 PM  

JohnAnnArbor: Oh, and if you've been to the big aquarium in Epcot (The Living Seas), you may have noted the jail-like bars that fence one part off from another.  I asked about that.  Most fish can swim right through, but it keeps the dolphins away from the sea turtles.  That became necessary because they found a sea turtle pinned against the wall by a dolphin, being spun like a plate.  The dolphin thought it was a blast, of course.


I'm surprised the dolphin wasn't trying to fark it.
 
2013-02-20 07:38:19 PM  

roc6783: FYI, you can add a question mark to the end of the url and anything you want after it. The url will work and it won't get rejected if someone has already submitted the original.


Thanks for the tip. I'll remember that for the future, because it would've come in handy today.

Osomatic: Well, my wife has had one for 10 years now, and it's been a great car, so nyah nyah nyah.


I never said anything about longevity or how it ran. I just hate the looks of the things. I don't even ride behind one if I can get away with it. Silly? Sure, but not as silly as those atrocities look.

Girion47: My opinion and pretty much everyone I've ever talked to is that they are econo-shiat boxes. I've had them for rentals before and the interior is so farking shoddy it's ridiculous, the space is subpar for how big the car looks, and the power is equivalent to a self-propelled lawnmower.


My cousin has one that's royal blue. Royal blue. Brightass, louder than a bratty bastardly child, blue. We used to make fun of them together, but she got one because she needed a car and the price. One week later she backed into her house with it. I laughed on the inside. The outside too, but also the inside, and never to her face. Some of the worst shame I've experienced is having to ride in it a few times. I felt like a kid again being forced to ride in an embarrassing vehicle. She's also had a tremendous amount of trouble from the thing breaking down. Yeah, they regret the purchase. Fark a PT Cruiser.
 
2013-02-20 07:58:00 PM  

Girion47: Osomatic: ParagonComplex: Osomatic: Why the random PT Cruiser slam...?  Oh wait.  Right.  This is Fark, I forgot.  Carry on.

Because I loathe those farking things, and some asshole parked in the middle of two parking places right next to the door at Wendy's like it was a prized possession worthy of admiration and awe. When I walked in with my friends I said rather loudly "Who's piece of shiat PT Cruiser is taking up two parking spaces?" Got some laughs and some "for reals". The person moved it when we left, because who is going to own up to that asshattery? Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

/coolstorybro

Well, my wife has had one for 10 years now, and it's been a great car, so nyah nyah nyah.

Well that's just like...your opinion man...

My opinion and pretty much everyone I've ever talked to is that they are econo-shiat boxes.   I've had them for rentals before and the interior is so farking shoddy it's ridiculous, the space is subpar for how big the car looks, and the power is equivalent to a self-propelled lawnmower.


Both it and the HHR are econo shiat boxes. I've had both as rentals and they are astoundingly shiatty. The insides are poorly put together, poorly fit, low grade plastic throughout. Given the insides, I can't fathom the car itself is sturdy or safe. Anyone with the bad enough sense, taste, and lack of fear, deserves to drive one... right into a real car (preferably parked and empty...) or a nice wall at high speed. Ideally, they wouldn't have bred either.
 
2013-02-20 08:03:51 PM  
That playful clicking sound? Audio instructions..for a rape machine.

//shamelessly stolen from american dad
 
2013-02-20 08:05:48 PM  

cgraves67: Why not just link directly to the article rather than an article about the article?


Subby heard you like articles, so he linked an article about an article so you can catch up on current events while you catch up on current events.
 
2013-02-20 08:06:44 PM  

Quantumbunny: Girion47: Osomatic: ParagonComplex: Osomatic: Why the random PT Cruiser slam...?  Oh wait.  Right.  This is Fark, I forgot.  Carry on.

Because I loathe those farking things, and some asshole parked in the middle of two parking places right next to the door at Wendy's like it was a prized possession worthy of admiration and awe. When I walked in with my friends I said rather loudly "Who's piece of shiat PT Cruiser is taking up two parking spaces?" Got some laughs and some "for reals". The person moved it when we left, because who is going to own up to that asshattery? Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

/coolstorybro

Well, my wife has had one for 10 years now, and it's been a great car, so nyah nyah nyah.

Well that's just like...your opinion man...

My opinion and pretty much everyone I've ever talked to is that they are econo-shiat boxes.   I've had them for rentals before and the interior is so farking shoddy it's ridiculous, the space is subpar for how big the car looks, and the power is equivalent to a self-propelled lawnmower.

Both it and the HHR are econo shiat boxes. I've had both as rentals and they are astoundingly shiatty. The insides are poorly put together, poorly fit, low grade plastic throughout. Given the insides, I can't fathom the car itself is sturdy or safe. Anyone with the bad enough sense, taste, and lack of fear, deserves to drive one... right into a real car (preferably parked and empty...) or a nice wall at high speed. Ideally, they wouldn't have bred either.


Let's just play it straight. They could make the HHR a lincoln town car knockoff and it would still be a shiat of shiat. yes a shiat of shiat. Worst car I've driven since I got my driver's license, and my friend's first car was a '91 probe.
 
2013-02-20 08:09:31 PM  
There's many documented cases of dolphins raping and then killing porpoises.
 
2013-02-20 08:12:45 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: There's many documented cases of dolphins raping and then killing porpoises.


Was it on porpoise?

/I'm sorry
 
2013-02-20 08:21:30 PM  

ParagonComplex: Osomatic: Why the random PT Cruiser slam...?  Oh wait.  Right.  This is Fark, I forgot.  Carry on.

Because I loathe those farking things, and some asshole parked in the middle of two parking places right next to the door at Wendy's like it was a prized possession worthy of admiration and awe. When I walked in with my friends I said rather loudly "Who's piece of shiat PT Cruiser is taking up two parking spaces?" Got some laughs and some "for reals". The person moved it when we left, because who is going to own up to that asshattery? Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

/coolstorybro


I used to slip a card under the windshield wiper which read,

"If you wanted to avoid damage to your car, you would not have parked it like this."

Makes them spend effort looking for damage. :-)
 
2013-02-20 08:21:56 PM  

JohnAnnArbor: And what about ducks?


You know where I first observed duck gang-rape?

East Lansing.
 
2013-02-20 08:37:26 PM  

SpdrJay: Dolphins genetically engineered Hitler.


/godwin


Guess who doesn't know how a Godwin works?
 
2013-02-20 08:39:08 PM  

redmid17: Let's just play it straight. They could make the HHR a lincoln town car knockoff and it would still be a shiat of shiat. yes a shiat of shiat. Worst car I've driven since I got my driver's license, and my friend's first car was a '91 probe.


The HHR handles, and has such incredibly poor driver visibility that it should be a hate crime to sell it to someone.

Whoever designed that POS was criminally negligent.
 
2013-02-20 08:48:20 PM  
Know what would be awesome?

Linking to the original article instead of Gawker-scraped bullshiat.

(And I thought everyone knew dolphins were assholes. They're too smart to not be.)
 
2013-02-20 09:20:48 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Satanic_Hamster: There's many documented cases of dolphins raping and then killing porpoises.

Was it on porpoise?

/I'm sorry


I understand they do it for the halibut.
 
2013-02-20 09:28:49 PM  

Shadow Blasko: redmid17: Let's just play it straight. They could make the HHR a lincoln town car knockoff and it would still be a shiat of shiat. yes a shiat of shiat. Worst car I've driven since I got my driver's license, and my friend's first car was a '91 probe.

The HHR handles, and has such incredibly poor driver visibility that it should be a hate crime to sell it to someone.

Whoever designed that POS was criminally negligent.


When I first saw it, I thought, "The Chevy HHERRRR".

Seems I was not far off the mark.
 
2013-02-20 09:33:25 PM  

ParagonComplex: roc6783: FYI, you can add a question mark to the end of the url and anything you want after it. The url will work and it won't get rejected if someone has already submitted the original.

Thanks for the tip. I'll remember that for the future, because it would've come in handy today.

Osomatic: Well, my wife has had one for 10 years now, and it's been a great car, so nyah nyah nyah.

I never said anything about longevity or how it ran. I just hate the looks of the things. I don't even ride behind one if I can get away with it. Silly? Sure, but not as silly as those atrocities look.

Girion47: My opinion and pretty much everyone I've ever talked to is that they are econo-shiat boxes. I've had them for rentals before and the interior is so farking shoddy it's ridiculous, the space is subpar for how big the car looks, and the power is equivalent to a self-propelled lawnmower.

My cousin has one that's royal blue. Royal blue. Brightass, louder than a bratty bastardly child, blue. We used to make fun of them together, but she got one because she needed a car and the price. One week later she backed into her house with it. I laughed on the inside. The outside too, but also the inside, and never to her face. Some of the worst shame I've experienced is having to ride in it a few times. I felt like a kid again being forced to ride in an embarrassing vehicle. She's also had a tremendous amount of trouble from the thing breaking down. Yeah, they regret the purchase. Fark a PT Cruiser.


When I was watching Breaking Bad, the time I thought Skyler was the biggest most horrible biatch was when she made Walt return Walt Jr.'s new car and then was all impressed with herself because she bought the poor kid a purple PT Cruiser. She might as well have made him dress like Bea Arthur and given him square dancing lessons.
 
2013-02-20 09:37:32 PM  
CSB:

While on vacation in the Dominican Republic, I was kicked in the crotch by a dolphin at Ocean World. Dolphins are assholes.
 
2013-02-20 09:53:34 PM  
So long, and thanks for the fist...
 
2013-02-20 10:26:38 PM  

ParagonComplex: roc6783: FYI, you can add a question mark to the end of the url and anything you want after it. The url will work and it won't get rejected if someone has already submitted the original.

Thanks for the tip. I'll remember that for the future, because it would've come in handy today.

Osomatic: Well, my wife has had one for 10 years now, and it's been a great car, so nyah nyah nyah.

I never said anything about longevity or how it ran. I just hate the looks of the things. I don't even ride behind one if I can get away with it. Silly? Sure, but not as silly as those atrocities look.

Girion47: My opinion and pretty much everyone I've ever talked to is that they are econo-shiat boxes. I've had them for rentals before and the interior is so farking shoddy it's ridiculous, the space is subpar for how big the car looks, and the power is equivalent to a self-propelled lawnmower.

My cousin has one that's royal blue. Royal blue. Brightass, louder than a bratty bastardly child, blue. We used to make fun of them together, but she got one because she needed a car and the price. One week later she backed into her house with it. I laughed on the inside. The outside too, but also the inside, and never to her face. Some of the worst shame I've experienced is having to ride in it a few times. I felt like a kid again being forced to ride in an embarrassing vehicle. She's also had a tremendous amount of trouble from the thing breaking down. Yeah, they regret the purchase. Fark a PT Cruiser.


I like my blue car, it keeps people from pulling out in front of me, I once had a silver car and in overcast or low light conditions, it felt like I was invisible to other drivers.
 
2013-02-21 01:38:52 AM  

Kanemano: Sharks are cool


I will bet money that none of those chicks were on their period...
 
2013-02-21 09:25:32 AM  
If dolphins are so smart, why do they live in igloos?
 
2013-02-21 11:42:46 AM  

Kibbler: Right now, there's a dolphin with 11 baby dolphins, that are crying on a plane, and that dolphin bought a horse, pot, a cell phone, and a refrigerator with your money, and the horse is watching the dolphin masturbate to a bible, while smoking and drinking a scotch and Mt. Dew.

With your money.

/I think I've finally reached Fark Zen Level 9


If your level 9, I'm like 9000, biatch.
 
2013-02-22 02:01:42 AM  
I'll join the HHR/PT Cruiser hate. We rent a handful of cars each year. One year we ended up renting one each of those POS's. Liked nothing about them. The interior of the PT was especially bad, I'm a broad shouldered 6' 2" and my girlfriend is 5' 6" or so and there wasn't enough room for us to sit side-by-side. The visibility of the HHR was so bad it should be legendary.
 
2013-02-22 06:32:58 PM  
Flipper can be an asshole, but what are you going to do? Hope he catches a nasty virus?
 
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