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(Cracked) Video Iron Man is better than Batman, and here is why   (cracked.com) divider line 58
    More: Video, Iron Man, Batman  
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4086 clicks; posted to Video » on 20 Feb 2013 at 4:38 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-20 03:35:45 PM
t1.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-20 04:07:18 PM
because Robert Downey Jr > Christian Bale?
 
2013-02-20 04:23:43 PM

jylcat: because Robert Downey Jr > Christian Bale?


Downey is also sherlock. but that is not really the question. Bruce would kick tony's ass so hard....it's not even fair.  an alcoholic vs a ninja? please...
 
2013-02-20 04:30:16 PM
He makes a fair point about Batman not killing the bad guys. Most of the people he's going against aren't salvageable.
 
2013-02-20 04:30:20 PM
Batman is a complete monster.

www.blogcdn.com
 
2013-02-20 04:39:06 PM
We found something more obnoxious than the slideshow.
 
2013-02-20 04:42:25 PM
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-20 04:46:00 PM

Popcorn Johnny: [encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 180x280]


img.gawkerassets.com
 
2013-02-20 04:46:30 PM

jylcat: because Robert Downey Jr > Christian Bale?


That's a little bit unfair -- Robert Downey Jr. didn't have to do a stupid voice when he was inside his suit.
 
2013-02-20 04:53:04 PM
why does it take a 3-minute video to show a 2-second Kool-Aid clip?

/you know that's how this started, someone reminisced, or watched Family Guy, went to YouTube, watched a Kool-Aid commercial and then thought, "hmm, how can I get this featured on our main page?"
 
2013-02-20 05:01:12 PM
I don't think Iron Man would be smart enough to figure out how to kill Superman. So Batman has that going for him which is nice.
 
2013-02-20 05:02:54 PM

Arkanaut: jylcat: because Robert Downey Jr > Christian Bale?

That's a little bit unfair -- Robert Downey Jr. didn't have to do a stupid voice when he was inside his suit.


Was the voice Bales's choice or the director's? Since Bane also has a goofy ass voice I guess it's the director.
 
2013-02-20 05:18:06 PM

BronyMedic: Batman is a complete monster.

[www.blogcdn.com image 584x470]


Did he actually hit anyone?
 
2013-02-20 05:20:19 PM
Both are rich assholes but at least Stark isn't all Emo about it.

/I wish my lawn was emo...
 
2013-02-20 05:21:42 PM

Summoner101: I don't think Iron Man would be smart enough to figure out how to kill Superman. So Batman has that going for him which is nice.


how did this become anything about superman? and thanks for the big gay pic brony
 
2013-02-20 05:23:27 PM

Mentalpatient87: BronyMedic: Batman is a complete monster.

[www.blogcdn.com image 584x470]

Did he actually hit anyone?


Well, 12 died in the theater immediately, but the thirteenth died later on.
 
2013-02-20 05:26:20 PM

BronyMedic: Mentalpatient87: BronyMedic: Batman is a complete monster.

[www.blogcdn.com image 584x470]

Did he actually hit anyone?

Well, 12 died in the theater immediately, but the thirteenth died later on.


*sigh* If only Iron Man had been there with a gun.
 
2013-02-20 05:45:26 PM
Stark's only answer to every problem is build another suit.

Wayne actually has to out think his arch enemies and figure other things out.
 
2013-02-20 06:47:15 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Stark's only answer to every problem is build another suit.

Wayne actually has to out think his arch enemies and figure other things out, and then add that to his suit.


FTFY. Both of them rely heavily on their suits. And I'd say that Stark is a lot smarter than Wayne. I mean he had to build an arc reactor, in a cave, with scraps. Hell Wayne's answer to taking down Superman? Build a war-suit. At least Stark can handle a Norse god in his usual armor.

At the end of the day, my question would always be "who would I have a beer with." and the obvious answer is Stark, by a longshot.
 
2013-02-20 07:01:01 PM
Gotta give it to Stark on logic alone.. But Bats is very clever... he has shown time and time again that he has what it takes to take an advisary down. Stark will miss something bruce does not and that would be all she wrote.
 
2013-02-20 07:04:00 PM
Doesnt bruce carry arround a piece of krytonite the Superman gave him? Why would he need a suit to take him down?
 
2013-02-20 07:06:24 PM
Sorry, rant over, but I thought Captain America stooped that fight with words... telling them to cut the shiat If I remember ( movie )
 
2013-02-20 07:07:12 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Stark's only answer to every problem is build another suit.

Wayne actually has to out think his arch enemies and figure other things out.


Building the world's best combat exoskeleton and finding a way to synthesize a previous unmade element while painfully and slowly dying. Because obviously combat tactics are more important than being a supergenius. Sure retro Batman had all this little toys but honestly to say that Tony Stark wasn't using his brain when he made a suits is pure lunacy. Batman relies as much on gadgetry as much as Iron Man, but at least newer movie Iron Man makes more of his own stuff than newer movie Batman who has Lucius Fox build it all for him. They're both loaded with money to be sure, but at least Iron Man did all the initial testing himself. Not to mention the computer system JARVIS that does most of Iron Man's heavy lifting is also something Tony created.

They both have their strong points. Naked, I've got money on martial arts Batman, unless this is sexy naked time, when I've got playboy Iron Man. In their suits I've got Iron Man, if for no other reason than he can fly supersonic while the best thing they built for Christian Bale Batman was "The Bat", a nice flying car or his "Bat glide" from the first Christian Bale movie. Sure Batman does have a large array of Batcycle Batmobile (more like Bat-tank recently) and The Bat, but Tony carries nearly everything he needs in one suit that is portable enough to fit into a briefcase-sized package. Not to mention his most recent version can assemble itself on him while he's free-falling off Stark Tower. Batman on the other hand is who I'd want to have trying to fight psychopathic criminals and such, but Iron Man's archenemy is the superpowered Mandarin while Batman's nemesis is merely the sinister Joker. They cover different areas of the hero/crime fighting spectrum.

And if all else fails, Iron Man has demonstrated the ability to use his suit to go into outer space just himself. While some comics and cartoons have Batman going into outer space with some various types of craft. But if they're just duking it out on the street corner. Iron Man can say "fark it" and go into space if he needs to at supersonic speed.
 
2013-02-20 07:14:48 PM
So ya dont think Bats would know that? This guy Thinks before he fights... I like your point about fox creating everything but I think bats was just giving him a job and knew his potential. Bats would take down Iron Man if he had too.
 
2013-02-20 07:16:28 PM
He would take JLA if he had to. He is that good
 
2013-02-20 07:22:43 PM
Would you rather hang out with Tony Stark or Bruce Wayne?
oi25.tinypic.com
 
2013-02-20 07:34:51 PM
Batman does win, but not for a good reason. Batman wins has become his power. No matter who or what you throw at him, he'll be crazy-awesome-prepared because that's what the fans demand.

In other words, Batman wins because he's an invincible Mary Sue who can't ever be beaten because he's basically infallible. Tony fails because he's a real human being.

I'll take Tony, thanks.
 
2013-02-20 07:48:01 PM

kevra: Gotta give it to Stark on logic alone.. But Bats is very clever... he has shown time and time again that he has what it takes to take an advisary down. Stark will miss something bruce does not and that would be all she wrote.


Don't call him that. And don't call Superman "Supes," either. It just sucks.
 
2013-02-20 07:48:34 PM
I will take Stark a well... but not putting money on it
 
2013-02-20 07:54:34 PM
Don't call him that. And don't call Superman "Supes," either. It just sucks.

your opinion my friend , but they have been calling them that for years. Can you imagine every conversation with the full names? Hey Superman how was breakfast and Batman how are you doing today? it just gets long in the tooth.. theese characters know each other. It's natural
 
2013-02-20 08:00:10 PM
Nerds!!!!jpeg

After reading this thread, my self-esteem is better. Thank you, FARK.

/they're both cool, but I'd rather be Iron Man 'cause he can fly around and shiat...
//okay, I'm a nerd, too, and I'm pretty proud of it
 
2013-02-20 08:08:01 PM
funnily enough... superman and batman never call each other by supes or bats... it's everyone else
 exept Wonder Woman ( Godess and all )
 
2013-02-20 08:29:03 PM
I see no need to argue about who is better, Iron Man or Batman. Although I would point out that this is Iron Man vs Batman, not Tony Stark vs Bruce Wayne so the suits do count. Anyway... Its all moot because Spider Man is clearly the greatest hero. He goes up against opponents large and small, from muggers to bad guys who are much more powerful than he is, because Spider Man has heart.
 
2013-02-20 08:40:28 PM

Nem Wan: Would you rather hang out with Tony Stark or Bruce Wayne?
[oi25.tinypic.com image 299x255]


Yeah, with Stark that whole thing would have played out a bit more like a high-tech Hangover.
 
2013-02-20 08:53:00 PM
 
2013-02-20 09:05:06 PM
In comics, the way Batman wins actual fights is by waiting for his opponent to do something stupid, like fight him either close enough that he can hurt them or on a battleground he has chosen, or by ignoring him for being unpowered.

Stark is ridiculously overconfident, but he's also smart enough that Batman isn't going to catch him doing stupid stuff. And Stark is the one with essentially instant access to the global information network on a neural interface of some sort.

If they fight in costume, I don't see it happening for Batman. Iron Man will bug out when he recognizes a legitimate threat to his person with no countervailing need to put Batman down. I assume that Batman will have some kind of ECM or something that prevents Iron Man from just launching missiles or repulsors or orbital death rays or whatever from a safe distance, but it's not like Batarangs or the standard armaments of a Batplane are going to do more than tickle Tony, and we can likewise assume that Iron Man will have taken obvious steps against things like electromagnetic pulse that Batman would probably try against a battle suit.

So they fight to a draw. Maybe Batman figures out that he can attack Iron Man's personal flaws. Maybe Tony instantly completes the forensic accounting and biometrics to figure out who Bruce Wayne is in his down time.

Chances are they never try to mess with each other again in costume. If nothing else, it's a huge waste of resources. Iron Man would probably love the challenge but get distracted by Miss October, but Bruce would figure out that stopping Iron Man's reign of awesome would do nothing but harm his ability to beat down on muggers and crap and he'd probably drop the matter.

But then one day on the French Riviera, Tony and Bruce would meet up and Bruce would flip out and put the ninja down on Tony, sans costume. I presume he'd go non-lethal at first and there would be an escalation, but it's not like Stark is going to hold out in hand to hand without the suit.
 
2013-02-20 09:55:19 PM

likefunbutnot: In comics, the way Batman wins actual fights is by waiting for his opponent to do something stupid, like fight him either close enough that he can hurt them or on a battleground he has chosen, or by ignoring him for being unpowered.

Stark is ridiculously overconfident, but he's also smart enough that Batman isn't going to catch him doing stupid stuff. And Stark is the one with essentially instant access to the global information network on a neural interface of some sort.

If they fight in costume, I don't see it happening for Batman. Iron Man will bug out when he recognizes a legitimate threat to his person with no countervailing need to put Batman down. I assume that Batman will have some kind of ECM or something that prevents Iron Man from just launching missiles or repulsors or orbital death rays or whatever from a safe distance, but it's not like Batarangs or the standard armaments of a Batplane are going to do more than tickle Tony, and we can likewise assume that Iron Man will have taken obvious steps against things like electromagnetic pulse that Batman would probably try against a battle suit.

So they fight to a draw. Maybe Batman figures out that he can attack Iron Man's personal flaws. Maybe Tony instantly completes the forensic accounting and biometrics to figure out who Bruce Wayne is in his down time.

Chances are they never try to mess with each other again in costume. If nothing else, it's a huge waste of resources. Iron Man would probably love the challenge but get distracted by Miss October, but Bruce would figure out that stopping Iron Man's reign of awesome would do nothing but harm his ability to beat down on muggers and crap and he'd probably drop the matter.

But then one day on the French Riviera, Tony and Bruce would meet up and Bruce would flip out and put the ninja down on Tony, sans costume. I presume he'd go non-lethal at first and there would be an escalation, but it's not like Stark is going to hold out in hand to hand without the su ...


tl;dr
 
2013-02-20 10:42:19 PM
Batman has already won. The fight would be like that scene in Black Dynamite: "Ha ha! I threw that shiat before I walked in the room!"

All work and no play makes Batman.....
 
2013-02-20 11:10:30 PM

wildcardjack: He makes a fair point about Batman not killing the bad guys. Most of the people he's going against aren't salvageable.



Seriously. After the 10th farking time the Joker escapes from Arkham Asylum and murders a bunch of people if Batman doesn't break his neck when he catches him then Batman is partially responsible for the murders the Joker commits after escape 11. He knows damn well the Joker has a prolific history of breaking out and murdering scads of people so at that point deciding not to kill the Joker would be a cowardly thing for Batman to do. To avoid feeling responsible for taking one life he's going to doom a whole bunch of other ones to be murdered by some madman?

Frankly, I just don't believe a guy as smart as Bruce Wayne wouldn't make the connection after the 3rd or 4th escape and just end the crazy bastard. Maybe because of his respect for the sanctity of life he gives the Joker a chance or two more than he should, but there's a limit... The Batman isn't devoid of common sense. I'd give Bruce Wayne more credit than that.

Iron Man vs. Batman though? No contest. Batman's a ninja, sure... but Iron Man is a war machine. Speaking logically - Batman is trained, prepared and equipped for urban combat with criminals and thugs. Iron Man is an actual war machine, equipped for full-on warfighting with all level of threats - demigods, intergalactic monsters/warlords, the HULK... That's not really Batman's thing. It's like an awesome car - a Ferrari for example - being compared to a F-22. Yes, the Ferrari is balls-hot and can smoke pretty much anything on the road... but it doesn't do Mach 2.5 and kill from over the horizon in the dark. Then again, the F-22 can't pull up to get food at Taco Bell either.

Those two metahumans just aren't in the same niche. Batman isn't really Iron Man's peer and vice versa. Captain America would probably be a better peer for Batman. Now THAT has some room for debate.
 
2013-02-21 12:13:40 AM

mongbiohazard: Those two metahumans just aren't in the same niche. Batman isn't really Iron Man's peer and vice versa. Captain America would probably be a better peer for Batman. Now THAT has some room for debate.


Already done.
 
2013-02-21 12:21:17 AM
Didnt they fight in the amalgum universe? To a draw? ( been a while ) could be wrong
 
2013-02-21 12:26:09 AM
and Mentat beat me to it... but at least I am not crazy...
 
2013-02-21 12:54:42 AM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-21 01:27:36 AM
For all you people who keep bringing up Batman's voice, it's not something Bruce Wayne is doing himself.  It's part of the suit, there's a little gizmo in there that modulates his voice so that he can't be recognized.  That's why when he's on the rooftop with Catwoman in TDKR and she bails on him, he still sounds raspy when he says to himself "so that's what that feels like".  Batman isn't consciously doing that.  The explanation never actually made it into the movies, but I remember reading it at some point in some behind the scenes stuff.
 
2013-02-21 01:41:35 AM
Roar Roar Roar
 
2013-02-21 02:40:31 AM

mongbiohazard: Seriously. After the 10th farking time the Joker escapes from Arkham Asylum and murders a bunch of people if Batman doesn't break his neck when he catches him then Batman is partially responsible for the murders the Joker commits after escape 11. He knows damn well the Joker has a prolific history of breaking out and murdering scads of people so at that point deciding not to kill the Joker would be a cowardly thing for Batman to do. To avoid feeling responsible for taking one life he's going to doom a whole bunch of other ones to be murdered by some madman?

 
I believe there ARE some Universes and alternate continuities where he does kill the Joker. I think there's even one where he purposely paralyzes him from the neck down. I believe the Joker is the one universal character every artist and writer has written to make it easy for the reader to hate.
 
2013-02-21 04:38:26 AM
Batman defender has a really punchable face.
 
2013-02-21 07:51:14 AM
If those Iron Man movies had not come out we would never be having such a debate.  Iron Man has always been an uninteresting, tier 2 character, while Batman has always been unquestionably awesome.

But Jon Favreau and Robert Downey jr. make a couple of excellent movies and suddenly everyone loves Iron Man.  They are some of the best comic book movies, I admit.  But as characters, Batman is more badass, more admirable and if they lived in the same universe, Batman would already have a plan to take out Iron Man, should the need ever arise.  Just like he did for Superman, Green Lantern and many others.
 
2013-02-21 08:19:56 AM

The Man Who Laughs: For all you people who keep bringing up Batman's voice, it's not something Bruce Wayne is doing himself.  It's part of the suit, there's a little gizmo in there that modulates his voice so that he can't be recognized.  That's why when he's on the rooftop with Catwoman in TDKR and she bails on him, he still sounds raspy when he says to himself "so that's what that feels like".  Batman isn't consciously doing that.  The explanation never actually made it into the movies, but I remember reading it at some point in some behind the scenes stuff.


Wait... wasn't Bruce Wayne (minus the suit) speaking to a bunch of blindfolded and tied up victims of the Joker, using "the Voice"? Or am I misremembering that?
 
2013-02-21 09:38:12 AM
50,000,000
 
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