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(Science World Report)   Scientists discover that men are from Mars, women are from planet Oh God Why Are You Still Talking, Sweet Jesus Do You Ever Get to the Point   (scienceworldreport.com) divider line 156
    More: Interesting, get to the point, The Journal of Neuroscience, scientists  
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13474 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Feb 2013 at 3:12 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2013-02-20 01:32:43 PM  
12 votes:
Women do indeed do this. They also "tell" you things without actually doing so, then get angry when you forget.

For example, this past Sunday evening:

Wife: Jen wants to bra shopping. Maybe at Nordys.
Me: Nordys?
Wife: Nordstroms.
Me: That's the same amount of syllables.
Wife: (paraphrasing) They do all the fitting and sizing and what not

Monday afternoon
Wife: I'll head straight home after work.
Me: OK, as opposed to?
Wife: Going bra shopping
Me: didnt realize you had made a plan to that
Wife: i mentioned that yesterday. about going with Jen
Me: I know, you mentioned it, didn't know you had planned to do so today
Wife: well, no matter. it's not happening.
Me: OK
2013-02-20 01:53:58 PM  
10 votes:

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Me: That's the same amount of syllables.
Wife: (paraphrasing) They do all the fitting and sizing and what not


That right there is my favorite part of talking to a woman, where you bring up a point or a clarification, there's no acknowledgement of it - maybe an arched eyebrow at most - then she jumps three pages down the script into the middle of whatever she was talking about beforehand. Every conversation ends up being a jumbled stream of consciousness where you have to put the chronological pieces together like you're farking Indiana Jones.
2013-02-20 04:01:08 PM  
7 votes:

YixilTesiphon: WTF is wrong with your wives?


lol, seriously. My wife just asks me to tell her something interesting in order to start a conversation about some current event, or perhaps something that happened during my day. Apparently these Farkers are getting their wives from the bimbo store...
2013-02-20 04:28:27 PM  
6 votes:
Bull manure.  Look how many words you knuckleheads use to claim women talk too much.
enough said
2013-02-20 04:18:16 PM  
6 votes:
Attention women, here is a list of topics of conversation men find uninteresting under all circumstances. If you want to talk about them call your girlfriends or your mother.

1. your friends (unless they are hot and/or slutty)
2. your relatives (unless they are going to die soon and leave us money)
3. your job (unless someone is harassing you and needs a nut punch)
4. anyone else's children or pets
5. your problems (unless you want us to solve them, are willing to listen to and accept our solution, and are willing to do the work to implement the solution)

The following times are inappropriate for conversation, in fact in these situations the only acceptable interaction is to quietly leave an open beer somewhere we can see you do it but without interrupting what we are doing.

1. when we are looking at a screen (tv, video game, phone, tablet, etc)
2. when we are reading
3. when we are fixing things
4. when our eyes are closed
5. when we are talking on the phone

Follow this advice for a happy relationship.
2013-02-20 02:27:51 PM  
6 votes:
Evolutionary specialization artifacts.

Primitive men used to leave the family and their settlements to go on hunts.   Sometimes they'd be long, and they had to develop the ability to orient themselves and identify signs and landmarks to find their way around and get back home.  Not much verbalization required, but men developed better spatial skills and sense of direction.

Primitive women bore and raised children.  They developer keener interpersonal intuition.  They had to understand the non verbal clues coming from infants.  They also spent more time in the settlements dealing with others, sometimes having to communicate in pre-lingual ways.  They developed more complex language skills.
2013-02-20 02:06:32 PM  
6 votes:
images.wikia.com

Yep.
2013-02-20 01:54:50 PM  
6 votes:
www.phdcomics.com

Or, specifically in this article:
1. The average woman talks more than the average man.
2. Male rat pups cry more than female rat pups, and they have twice as much of the protein FOXP2.
3. In a study of 10 human children, the females had more of the FOXP2 protein than the males.

... which is translated as "we discovered the protein that causes adult women to talk more!"
2013-02-20 01:54:13 PM  
6 votes:
Article says women are better at small talk?  If the point at small talk is to say 20 gazillion words with no clear point and no single topic or direction then yes, women are great at small talk.  If the point is to kill time and actually learn something, men are better at small talk.

Here is a typical guy conversation:

Guy A: Hey GuyB what's up?
Guy B: Oh, just finished working on my water heater
Guy A: Oh, I couldn't fix mine, the dead hooker parts in my crawl space keep getting jammed up in there
Guy B: Yeah, you gotta be careful about that, here, let me show you how to optimize your central heating while still disposing of dead prostitutes
Guy A: Thanks GuyB, that will be very helpful

And now a typical Woman conversation:

WomanA: Hey WomanB, how are you today?
WomanB: I am great, I went shopping with WomanC and we bought 24 new shoes and after we bought the shoes we saw WomanD and WomanD is totally cheating on GuyB while he's working on the water heater and that's totally because she's a busybody biatch always wearing those tight sweaters and short skirts to work and I heard from WomanE that she had a nose job when she was a teenager, but you have to promise not to tell anyone, because I promised not to tell anyone when WomanE told me, oh and hey we should go to Burger King later even though we shouldn't because my thighs really don't need that but that Pilates class we started last week will burn it off and OH. MY. GOD. that instructor is so hot I want him to wear me like a pinky ring
2013-02-20 05:16:04 PM  
5 votes:

Primum non nocere: Of all the women in my life, my beloved mother is the absolute worst. Every 25 minute phone conversation with her is 23-minutes of her regaling me with all the details of what her little-old-lady friends did this past week (a neighborhood walk, widows' support group, whose grandkid is graduating from middle-school, who's getting a hip replacement, on and on and on).

But what is most head-shaking is that I've never met four-fifths of these septuagenarians. And the half-dozen that I have, I haven't seen them in-person in 25 years.  Jeebus.


She's trying to connect you to what is now her life.  Go and visit her.  She misses you.
2013-02-20 04:18:42 PM  
5 votes:
Early in our marriage on several occasions I told my wife to stop, I'd lost interest in whatever she was talking about because the story took too long. She was immeasurably hurt and sulked about it for quite awhile. I felt like an a-hole but it only took a couple of times and she became a much better story teller.

Now when she starts to go off target and starts giving inane details that I can tell have nothing to do with the story she's trying to tell, I'll start firing follow-up questions on these stupid details, forcing her in the direction of the tangent she was on to the point that she becomes frustrated and basically shouts "none of that is important, HERE IS WHAT MATTERS" and we get to the point. It's nice because it helps her course correct and it makes her think I'm really listening. The key here though is that they have to be the right kind of follow-up questions and they have to convey your confusion. You don't want to encourage her to get lost down the rabbit hole, you just want to demonstrate that her prattling on has completely derailed the story she was telling and you can no longer follow along.
2013-02-20 05:19:00 PM  
4 votes:
Used to have a lot of arguments that seemed like skew lines. I had one point, she had another. I noticed she would talk in one direction and I wanted another.

But I like the science, not the touchy feely self-help books.

So, since we like to read out loud to each other on road trips, while the other drives, we read Deborah Tannen's "You Just Don't Understand." Saved our marriage. Gave out dozens of copies to friends.

She is a linguist that studies how the different genders talk. TL;DR of her book: women talk in terms of association, horizontally, ("she's my best friend." "Let's do this together." That clique stuff.) but men talk in terms of power and control, vertically ("I'm the king." "Who's in charge here?" The totem pole of power).

So, when my wife asks, "Are you up for a movie tonight?" she's thinking "Let's do something together." but I'm hearing "I'm telling you that I've made plans for us."
2013-02-20 04:53:23 PM  
4 votes:
Women don't want you to douse the flames by helping solve their problems, they want you to further stoke their "why me" fires by basically crying and boo-hooing along with them.
2013-02-20 03:53:50 PM  
4 votes:
I am going to teach a class. "How To Respond When Someone At Work Asks You How You Are 101."

Only accetable answer: "Fine, how are you?"

All other responses get an F.
2013-02-20 03:47:45 PM  
4 votes:
Best Comment: "But is there a cure?"
2013-02-20 03:24:42 PM  
4 votes:

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Women do indeed do this. They also "tell" you things without actually doing so, then get angry when you forget.

For example, this past Sunday evening:

Wife: Jen wants to bra shopping. Maybe at Nordys.
Me: Nordys?
Wife: Nordstroms.
Me: That's the same amount of syllables.
Wife: (paraphrasing) They do all the fitting and sizing and what not

Monday afternoon
Wife: I'll head straight home after work.
Me: OK, as opposed to?
Wife: Going bra shopping
Me: didnt realize you had made a plan to that
Wife: i mentioned that yesterday. about going with Jen
Me: I know, you mentioned it, didn't know you had planned to do so today
Wife: well, no matter. it's not happening.

I can't believe you don't listen to me. Why don't you love me? 
Me: OK What the hell?

FTFY
2013-02-20 02:43:14 PM  
4 votes:

Diogenes: Evolutionary specialization artifacts.

Primitive men used to leave the family and their settlements to go on hunts.   Sometimes they'd be long, and they had to develop the ability to orient themselves and identify signs and landmarks to find their way around and get back home.  Not much verbalization required, but men developed better spatial skills and sense of direction.

Primitive women bore and raised children.  They developer keener interpersonal intuition.  They had to understand the non verbal clues coming from infants.  They also spent more time in the settlements dealing with others, sometimes having to communicate in pre-lingual ways.  They developed more complex language skills.


Cool story, bro. It's a shame that it's not necessarily supported by  archaeology.

See also:
A vast amount of ethnographic and archaeological evidence demonstrates that the sexual division of labor in which men hunt and women gather wild fruits and vegetables is an uncommon phenomenon among hunter-gatherers worldwide. Although most of the gathering is usually done by women, a society in which men completely abstained from gathering easily available plants has yet to be found. Generally women hunt the majority of the small game while men hunt the majority of the large and dangerous game, but there are quite a few documented exceptions to this general pattern. A study done on the  people of the  states: "About 85% of Philippine Aeta women hunt, and they hunt the same quarry as men. Aeta women hunt in groups and with dogs, and have a 31% success rate as opposed to 17% for men. Their rates are even better when they combine forces with men: mixed hunting groups have a full 41% success rate among the Aeta."

and:
And what's particularly intriguing in the report is the fact that of the 22 observed cases of spear-fashioning, only one involved an adult male. Thirteen were carried out by females. (The other cases involved young males.) The scientists suggest that female apes played an important role not only in the development of tools for crushing nuts and catching insects and other kinds of foraging, but also for hunting. Among our earliest ancestors, females might have spent some of their time spearing prey.

and:
The common view that males only hunt and females only gather is false, however. For example, Australian females do considerable hunting of small animals,40 while males in many foraging societies collect honey
and gather fruit.41 Among some net foragers, such as the Aka, men and women hunt together.42
2013-02-21 08:56:43 AM  
3 votes:

big pig peaches: bunner: "You should do ~n before it gets cold"

"I will."

"No, you wont.  You say you will but you never finish anything."

"Didn't I do A,. B, B and all that other crap you asked about last  month?"

"Only because I nagged you."

"Are you sure?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, cause and effect.  Have you tried NOT nagging me and seeing what happens?"

"You're not the only person who makes decisions in this family!"

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"Why are you so pigheaded?"

"Why do you have to try and convince me that without your foot up my ass, I couldn't tie my own shoes?"

"Whut UVER, you are so immature."

"Yes, that must be it."

"So are you going to do ~n?"

"*sigh*"

Please stop dating my wife.


Guys, since we're clearly all married to the same chick, you might consider what I've done, which is to passive-aggressively "remind" her to do her mundane chores right at the second she was about to do it anyway. When she inevitably loses her shiat, I remind her that this is how nagging feels, and she does this every day. I tell her to imagine how a person could deal with this kind of abuse day after day while only reacting in kind with silly reminders to illustrate why the behavior is objectionable instead of thumping his chest like a gorilla and screaming obscenities.
I then tell her that she had the good taste to marry such a patient individual, and that it'd still be best not to assume he doesn't know how to thump things and scream obscenities, because everyone can flip the fark out sometimes.

It's easy to deal with people if you just assume these three things:

1. Anyone can kill anyone, and they frequently do. If you abuse any person, you have no idea how they will react to it, because you don't know if you're the first person to pull that bullshiat on them or the 40th. Be kind.

2. People tend to be nice to you if you're nice to them first. They tend to be helpful towards those people they suspect would help them too. They tend to be unhelpful and spiteful towards takers, sociopaths, and selfish creeps.

3. People lack introspection to such a degree that most of the time someone is horribly unjust to you, they aren't conscious of it. They are usually simply reacting emotionally, like an animal. You'll have to be patient if you're the thinking type and you want to hang with less thinky types.
2013-02-20 07:39:58 PM  
3 votes:

tonguedepressor: The post argument argument where I'm basically told that by definition my disagreeing with her point of view is the equivalent of my screaming at her.

In fact she'll even recreate my screaming at her in a threatening manner and using words and statements that I never even came close to using.

It can quite disconcerting that she is convinced that this was how it actually happened.


You need to get out of that relationship ... NOW
2013-02-20 05:34:59 PM  
3 votes:
There's three pieces of advice that I give to young guys in order to prepare them for marriage:
1. Learn to drink (not binge-drink, but sanity-drink)
2. Convert you next paycheque to $100 bills. Light a bonfire. Slowly throw each bill into the fire and watch it burn
3. On a nightly basis, watch to most boring TV channel your provider offers (local council meeting, etc). Attempt to maintain your interest and keep eye contact with the TV. Start with 10 minutes, and work your way up to an hour
2013-02-20 05:28:49 PM  
3 votes:

PsiChick: ...Anthropology actually discusses the difference between a social trait and a biological trait as part of its field. Like, again, this is what they teach in 101. As do most other social sciences. Part of the waist-hip thing is that any biological inclination would be very slight, like TFA--so slight as to be, for all intents and purposes, nonexistant. Humans do not have many true instincts, and there are some behaviors that pattern across all cultures. Schizophrenia, for example, manifests the same way in every culture. That's a biological trait.

This study, in my eyes, may well have found a slight indicator of a mild tendency to language. But that's about it. In another culture, it would be unnoticeable, which means there's very little value in the real world in looking at it as an indicator, although certainly it's of value to further research. But at some point, .00000000000000001 is just 0.


Yeah, they discuss it, and they often get it wrong, because they are generally lay people with respect to the expression of biological traits in behaviour who have distinct biases against the very concept. I've got degrees in sociology and psychology. I've taken those 101 classes you speak of and they get a lot wrong when they talk about the natural science when you compare it with what the natural sciences are actually saying (and vice versa, of course; both sides of this issue exasperate me).

To continue the example, the waist-hip thing is found everywhere, in wildly varying cultures all over the world. It's common as dirt and it works cross culturally, in that people from one culture who share the trait will be able to accurately judge the relative attractiveness of women from very different cultures who share that particular trait. There are some culttures that display very different tendencies, but all of those are very specific to the particular cultures, and do not generalize well. The culture can overwrite the basic tendency. But the tendency is there, and it still expresses itself quite strongly in those cases where there is not a cultural norm overwriting it. To ignore that information because it conflicts with the academic ideology of one's discipline is the worst kind of intellectual dishonesty. It is literally a transgression against the critical methodology that we are all supposed to use in the sciences to determine the validity of a knowledge claim.

And the notion that humans do not have true instincts is really garbage. Psychology has been disproving this over and over again for literally decades, and the social sciences have been ignoring this. Sociobiology is still a bad word in the social sciences, despite the enormous body of knowledge coming out of neuropsychology about the ways that our brains determine our cognition and behaviour. It is ludicrous to think that the influence of that biology stops the moment you go from the individual behaviourstudied by psychology to the group behaviours studied by the social sciences. It's utterly farcical, especially given the power of the analytical statistics we now have that can track influence through multiple levels of analysis. Humans have all kinds of inbuilt biases and automatic responses that we simply aren't aware of most of the time, that our cognition often doesn't even let us acknowledge because it contradcts the personal narrative of constant awarenes and autonomy (which is an illusion, btw).

The thing is that the social sciences have a lingering aspect of human exceptionalism to them. We retain this notion that we are somehow distinctly different from animals in our cognition and behaviour and it's bullshiat. Everything we do, cognitively speaking, can be detected in other animals. The difference is in degree, not kind. In fact the rarest traits, the ones that are closest to unique, are not things like cultural transmission of information, but rather obscure things like beat induction, the ability to bob along to a beat. Last I checked, the only other animals that do that are parrots, of all things.

The trick is that human instincts express themselves though our complex social behaviours. They are not as simple to identify as they are in animals that do not have our level of cognitive complexity. That doesn't mean they aren't there. And absolutely does not give the social sciences the mandate to assume a priori that biological influences are inconsequential to human behaviour.

So you want to show that a 30% difference between the sexes in the level of a protein directly related to vocalization in other species does nothing at all in humans? Do the work. Find a way to test it, and run the experiements to isolate the effect and show it does nothing. Because the idea that this has an influence on human behaviour is not implausible, and would be consistent with the results found so far (note, no one is claiming it is completely deterministic). It's not the only influence, but that does not mean it is not an influence. Most social phenomenon do not have single causes, even if you limit yourself only to sociocultural effects. To pretend that they do is a novice mistake. Until you do the work, the only claim that you can make is "We don't know if this has an effect or not". You can not claim this cannot have an effect, and that only social effects matter. That is an unfounded assertion that derives from institutional biases and it is not logically defensible as an argument in any scientific discipline.
2013-02-20 04:14:12 PM  
3 votes:
Holy hell.  I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets the "we need to talk about stuff tonight" which turns into she'll talk, and i'll nod my head waiting for her to get to the point.  Meanwhile, the hour I had to relax between kids going to bed and my sleepy time gets sucked to oblivion.
2013-02-20 04:13:05 PM  
3 votes:
I am a corporate receptionist.

I'll come home from work and he'll ask, "How was your day?" and I can turn that one question into a 20-minute monologue with quotes, voice-overs and props. By the time I'm done he knows the name and physical make-up of everyone I encountered between 8am and 5pm, whether or not I like them, and how I think they impacted the emotional success of my day.

My husband is a firefighter.

He'll come home from work and I'll ask, "How was your day?" He'll answer: "House caught on fire. Guy died."
2013-02-20 03:55:46 PM  
3 votes:
I think it has more to do with personality type. In the eyes of Myers-Briggs, the typical "most womanly" personality type of ESFP is overtly talkative and superfluous in their speech patterns. Whereas myself, the INTJ woman, considers small talk stupid and pointless.

/other women don't "get" me, especially when my eyes glaze over while they ramble about talk shows and shoes
//men think I'm "cold"
///fark the lot of them
2013-02-20 03:52:47 PM  
3 votes:
Just different communication styles. Although I tend to be more wary when she uses a much smaller number of words because it sounds evasive by comparison.

Her: So I ran into Martin the other day.
Me: Oh really?
Her: Yeah.
Me: Where?
Her: Bookstore.
Me: Okay. So did you guys talk?
Her: A little.
Me: Then he left?
Her: No, we got coffee.
Me: Oh.
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: So what did you guys talk about?
Her: Nothing.
Me: ...
2013-02-20 03:52:44 PM  
3 votes:
i1151.photobucket.com
♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫
It's been six months
She hasn't shut up once
I've tried to explain
She's driving me insane

She won't even miss me when she's gone
And that's okay with me I'll cry later on

Talk to ya later-don't want to hear it again tonight
Talk to ya later-just save it for another guy
Talk to ya later-don't want to hear it again tonight
I'll just see you around
♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫
2013-02-20 03:47:36 PM  
3 votes:
WTF is wrong with your wives?
2013-02-20 03:40:37 PM  
3 votes:

prickly pete v2: Contrabulous Flabtraption: Women do indeed do this. They also "tell" you things without actually doing so, then get angry when you forget.

For example, this past Sunday evening:

Wife: Jen wants to bra shopping. Maybe at Nordys.
Me: Nordys?
Wife: Nordstroms.
Me: That's the same amount of syllables.
Wife: (paraphrasing) They do all the fitting and sizing and what not

Monday afternoon
Wife: I'll head straight home after work.
Me: OK, as opposed to?
Wife: Going bra shopping
Me: didnt realize you had made a plan to that
Wife: i mentioned that yesterday. about going with Jen
Me: I know, you mentioned it, didn't know you had planned to do so today
Wife: well, no matter. it's not happening. I can't believe you don't listen to me. Why don't you love me?
Me:
OK What the hell?

FTFY


So much this.
2013-02-20 02:00:51 PM  
3 votes:
So you're saying that if I give her more of my man-protein, she'll yack less?
2013-02-20 08:24:57 PM  
2 votes:

doglover: [blog.harisaltaf.com image 499x699]


Though I admit that on a bad day I CAN have those thoughts, I also realize that they are ludicrous, stop thinking them, and don't let crazy "feelings" ruin my life. If you are a chick and you find yourself going down some weird crazy thought pathway like that then I suggest you do the following:

1. STOP
2. Think if there is a reason that you are feeling that way. Maybe you are lonely. Maybe you are bored. Maybe you want to talk more or do something fun with your SO but you don't know how and are expecting him to read your thoughts and start the conversation for you.
3. Fix the problem. If you want to *talk* realize that dudes don't like talking about what we like talking about all the time. So talk about something you both care about, I know that my dude will ALWAYS talk about baseball, so I start a conversation about baseball.
4. Sometimes a woman sees sitting and watching tv time together as TALKING TIME and a man sees it as WATCHING TV TIME. As a female, I usually say "hey want to go on a walk after X show is over?" because I have found that we actually pay attention to each other on a walk and he gets quiet tv time and I get talking time.

Men: Some women might not realize how you feel about chit chat. I'm not saying you need to indulge her constant need for talking or attention, but do give her SOME one on one talking time. Deal? Alternately, when your mom calls and wants to chit chat about pointless things, hand the phone to your wife! (my hub's newest trick)
2013-02-20 07:19:22 PM  
2 votes:

fusillade762: fredklein: ciberido: She didn't ask you for advice. She told you she had a problem, because she wanted a shoulder to cry on.

Crying on a shoulder doesn't solve the problem. (unless the problem is a dry shoulder). Solving the problem solves the problem.

There ya go, thinking like a MAN again.


Shes talking.

Talking is a form of communication.

com·mu·ni·ca·tion
Noun
The imparting or exchanging of information or news

So, she's trying to give me information.

Why?

So I can act on it.

The information involves a problem.

She must want a solution to the problem.

Simple logic.
2013-02-20 06:38:07 PM  
2 votes:
Ed Grubermann:

She doesn't want the problem solved.

Understanding this makes it even MORE infuriating. It's farking pathetic and a huge turn off to listen to someone biatch about shiat they can't even be assed to fix even when the solution is simple as fark, as it is half the time. Lazy AND entitled.
2013-02-20 06:26:23 PM  
2 votes:

vegaswench: I am going to teach a class. "How To Respond When Someone At Work Asks You How You Are 101."

Only accetable answer: "Fine, how are you?"

All other responses get an F.


I hate this shiat.  If you don't want to know how I am, don't ask the question, you shallow, disingenuous prick.  Also, don't stand there looking offended when I don't ask you the same question.  I don't ask unless I care enough about the answer to want a real one.
2013-02-20 06:03:49 PM  
2 votes:
DNRTFA or the CT.

i.imgur.com

All you need to know.
2013-02-20 05:51:01 PM  
2 votes:

ciberido: Yes, but if you really want to assign blame, it's as much the man's fault for assuming without asking that the woman wanted a solution as it is her fault for not explicitly telling the man that she didn't want one.  Essentially, they're equally at fault, her for assuming he'd operate by "the women's rules" and him for assuming she'd operate by "the men's rules."


Well that's true, until you realize that talking about a problem without seeking a solution is a galactic waste of time and pointless beyond belief.  This is particularly true when the solution is as simple as "have you considered talking to ______ and saying everything you just told me?"
2013-02-20 05:34:27 PM  
2 votes:

ciberido: She didn't ask you for advice. She told you she had a problem, because she wanted a shoulder to cry on.


Crying on a shoulder doesn't solve the problem. (unless the problem is a dry shoulder). Solving the problem solves the problem.
2013-02-20 05:13:22 PM  
2 votes:
Two hundred comments in two hours.... Fark is a woman.
2013-02-20 05:13:19 PM  
2 votes:
My favorite is:

Her: "I can't find X"
Me: "Did you look for it?"
Her: "Fark you! Why are you such a jerk???"


You are a jerk. "Can't find" means she already looked for it.

1)  Leave work
2) Call wife
3) Tell her I'm on the way home
4) She starts talking and won't shut up
5) Drive 20 minutes home
6) Walk in door while wife is still talking
7) Wife gets pissed


Switch to texting. Tell your wife that you won't text and drive because it is dangerous, text her when you leave work and then put your phone away.

Women don't want you to douse the flames by helping solve their problems, they want you to further stoke their "why me" fires by basically crying and boo-hooing along with them.

I wont speak for all the assholes (just me), but this is just venting/commiseration.


So men biatching is commiserating and women biatching is just obnoxious. Got it.
She is trying to do the work required to maintain a relationship and you guys are having none of it.
2013-02-20 05:10:39 PM  
2 votes:
I get that women need you to internalize that which they internalize and ponder vis a vis their own experiences and want to share them with you, in a way that they can understand you actually got, when they internalize THAT, but, and this is important.  Ladies?  We really can tell when you're just bouncing some crap off of use that one of your BFFs brought up as  this week's hoop to hold up for us to jump through so you can go back with your findings.  Oh, yes we can.  We'll work with you on the former but the latter is sort of insulting.  That's what house pets are for.
2013-02-20 05:08:27 PM  
2 votes:
women translator:
her: We need to talk
means: I am about to tell you what you have done wrong, and I will drag it out for 20 minutes to ensure you feel bad enough about it for my satisfaction.

her: Where have you been?
means: you are late, having an affair, don't love her anymore.  I will drag it out for 20 minutes to ensure you feel bad enough about it for my satisfaction.

her: How was your day?
means: ask me about my day because blah blah blah. I will drag it out for 20 minutes to ensure you feel bad enough about it for my satisfaction

her: where is XYZ, I cant find it?
means: Where the fark did you put XYZ, asshole.   I will drag it out for 20 minutes to ensure you feel bad enough about it for my satisfaction

him: How was your day?
her: fine.

means: you are screwed.
2013-02-20 05:07:03 PM  
2 votes:

AncientLurker: Smelly Pirate Hooker: It's amusing that so many of you are married to dipshiats who won't shut up. I'd be sympathetic, but so many of you are also assholes, so I figure you deserve it.

I wont speak for all the assholes (just me), but this is just venting/commiseration. My current gf does yammer occasionally, but I find it amusing, especially since she doesn't do all of the passive/aggressive, underhanded vindictive garbage my X did wife did.


OK. Cool for you.

What I suspect is happening is the same thing parents do with children. It's easier to give in to somebody than correct them. Of course, that means you have to put up with their bullshiat for the rest of their life. Or until you sick enough of it to put a stop to it.

My mother used to tell me fairly long stories about people she works with. I'd asked her how work was going, so fine. But while telling the story, she'd tell me who various people were related to: "I was talking to Becky, she's Mary's daughter" or "And Joan was there, she's John's wife," and I'd wait for this bit of familial info to be come relevant. Then she'd get to the end of the story, and that's it. No clue as to why the fark I had to know who Becky's mother or Joan's husband was. So after awhile, I decided I'd had enough and in the middle of one of these stories, I asked her, "Is there a reason I need to know why so and so is so and so's daughter?" Her: "Well, no, not really." Me: "OK, just checking."

I could tell I hurt her feelings. And knowing her (because my mother almost never forgets an offense) she's still kinda pissed. But she hasn't done it since. Fine by me.

Of course, I don't need to have sex with my mother and I'm happy to go days without talking to her, so I can do this, whereas some of you poor farkers are stuck with the morons you're married to. Have fun.
2013-02-20 05:01:35 PM  
2 votes:

Smelly Pirate Hooker: I'd be sympathetic, but so many of you are also assholes, so I figure you deserve it.


Smelly Pirate Hooker: LOL. You used the word "love," as if you actually meant it.


Yeah, that's my limit for smirky misandry for the day.  *click*
2013-02-20 05:00:05 PM  
2 votes:

ObscureNameHere: blatz514: TrixieDelite: I am a corporate receptionist.

I'll come home from work and he'll ask, "How was your day?" and I can turn that one question into a 20-minute monologue with quotes, voice-overs and props. By the time I'm done he knows the name and physical make-up of everyone I encountered between 8am and 5pm, whether or not I like them, and how I think they impacted the emotional success of my day.

My husband is a firefighter.

He'll come home from work and I'll ask, "How was your day?" He'll answer: "House caught on fire. Guy died."

That there is full of so much win!

Can someone *please* post the image of 'Her Diary / His Diary'?     (can't from work)

The gist is a woman's diary entry for one day (a paragraph that goes into ever escalating drama and interpretation with no evidence) and her man's entry for the same day (about a sentence...which actually answers all of the drama of the women's succintly).  Funny and enlightening, in one!


Here ya go.  I got bizzay, otherwise it would have been quicker.

1.bp.blogspot.com
2013-02-20 04:53:22 PM  
2 votes:

TrixieDelite: His diary/her diary


Shenanigans. Men don't keep diaries.
2013-02-20 04:51:39 PM  
2 votes:

PsiChick: More like: "We have never once even heard of linguistic anthropology, because social sciences are for LOOZERS!". Seriously, hard sciences have got to STFU about soft sciences, because social sciences occasionally find out shiat that makes you look like a retard, such as the current theory that's so secure it's taught to 101 students: Women and men have differing speech patterns because of cultural hardwiring. Unless you find a pattern that occurs in multiple different cultures before globalization, you are not looking at biology, you're looking at culture.

I love hard sciences, but occasionally I wonder if they're trying to parody themselves. Just because you can't measure social influence with decimal points doesn't mean social influence doesn't exist. It just means you need to figure out a different measurement.


Actually, I find that both the natural sciences and the social sciences share a common bias: They assume any foible of human behaviour must be due to the consequences of that which they study. Having studied both at one time or the other, I find this exasperating. We're biological entities with hardwired cognitive behaviours built into a variable and plastic organic substrate. We have instincts and biases that we all share, but which are subject to modification by the environment, especially sociocultural values.

For example, there's the point that most men in most cultures find a waist to hip ration of 0.7 to be the most attractive. Yet there are social scientists who dispute this by pointing out that there are cultures that identify obese women or very thin women as most attractive. I see these sorts of arguments and want to /facepalm so hard , because the argument misses the obvious conclusion. The biological baseline preference exists but is subject to extensive modification by cultural values. Nature AND nurture.

I think something like this study is another potential example of this exasperating tendency. A biological difference has been found that apparently would support a common behavioural tendency. That in no way means that tendency cannot be modified by cultural influences, but those cultural modifications do not give the social scientists grounds to dismiss it out of hand either.

Complexity is the norm for explaining behaviour in social animals. There are no unique causes. I am of the considered opinion that the social scientists and the natural scientists need to stop arguing and wrangling over who is right or wrong and start comparing notes on stuff like this in order to try and figure out what the relationship is between the underlying biological tendencies we all share as humans and the pronounced cultural influences that modify how those tendencies get expressed.
2013-02-20 04:44:58 PM  
2 votes:
It's amusing that so many of you are married to dipshiats who won't shut up. I'd be sympathetic, but so many of you are also assholes, so I figure you deserve it.
2013-02-20 04:37:35 PM  
2 votes:

WhippingBoy: farkingnotworking: YixilTesiphon: WTF is wrong with your wives?

I'm wondering that too.  And why do you stay with them if they annoy you so?

Probably because we're not spoiled little children who turn our backs on people we love just because they have some annoying habits.


Right.  We're all paragons of maturity here on Fark.  So let's just complain about our loved ones in the privacy of the web.
2013-02-20 04:30:35 PM  
2 votes:

Bronzemom: Bull manure.  Look how many words you knuckleheads use to claim women talk too much.
enough said


This post is perfect. But not why you think it is.
2013-02-20 04:30:23 PM  
2 votes:
hitlersbrain: If you are a man, imagine all the time, thought and energy you put into dreaming about sex and scheming to get sex. Assume women have about the same energy levels and that they have practically no sex drive. All that energy has to go somewhere right?

you are doing it wrong. Unless, you are dating women out of menopause.
2013-02-20 04:26:29 PM  
2 votes:

ObscureNameHere: SmackLT: Just different communication styles. Although I tend to be more wary when she uses a much smaller number of words because it sounds evasive by comparison.

Her: So I ran into Martin the other day.
Me: Oh really?
Her: Yeah.
Me: Where?
Her: Bookstore.
Me: Okay. So did you guys talk?
Her: A little.
Me: Then he left?
Her: No, we got coffee.
Me: Oh.
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: So what did you guys talk about?
Her: Nothing.
Me: ...

Yeah..... she's doing Martin.


Could be that. Could also be the "jealousy test", in which the ladies want to see how distraught you are at their spending some times with another man. Thing is, many respond positively to a jealous reaction from their man. I mean, if she really was doing Martin, why intentionally bring him up in such a cryptic, evasive manner. She just wants to see how torn up her man would be.
2013-02-20 04:24:31 PM  
2 votes:

TrixieDelite: I am a corporate receptionist.

I'll come home from work and he'll ask, "How was your day?" and I can turn that one question into a 20-minute monologue with quotes, voice-overs and props. By the time I'm done he knows the name and physical make-up of everyone I encountered between 8am and 5pm, whether or not I like them, and how I think they impacted the emotional success of my day.



I sincerely doubt it.
2013-02-20 04:23:23 PM  
2 votes:
If it is important I have my wife write me a note so I won't forget.  This means that twenty minute conversation about family activities boils down to "pick boy up at day care on Tuesday."

When I was in school I had a physics prof who would derive solutions to the Schrodinger equation from memory.  At first we tried like mad to keep up but we soon realized that when he was done he would put the important information on a side board.  Same thing works with spouses.
2013-02-20 04:17:49 PM  
2 votes:
Gf: Where's the Klondike bars?
Me: I don't know
Gf: Did you eat them all?
Me: I ate some, I'm not sure how many
Gf: Well they're all gone so you must have eaten all of them!
Me: Ok
Gf: I only had one!
Me: I'll stop by the store and get some more if you want
Gf: So now we have to make a special trip just for Klondike bars?? You'll just eat those too
Me: Isn't that what they're for?
Gf: They're for both of us!
Me: So eat them! It's not my fault you only ate one.
Gf: You know I'm dieting right now!
Me: ???
2013-02-20 04:15:54 PM  
2 votes:

hitlersbrain: If you are a man, imagine all the time, thought and energy you put into dreaming about sex and scheming to get sex. Assume women have about the same energy levels and that they have practically no sex drive. All that energy has to go somewhere right?


None of the women I've been in relationships with have had "practically no sex drive".  Unfortunately, they still won't shut up.  Sorry to blow your theory.
2013-02-20 04:11:02 PM  
2 votes:
You know, I was headed down to Kohl's with Jen, you remember Jen, she's the one whose husband was in that terrible accident? Not the one with the gap in her teeth, the one with the bright orange hair. Well, Jen is selling her brand new refrigerator and I was thinking we need a new refrigerator and she probably wouldn't ask that much for it considering how desperate they are for cash. Well anyway I think she's going to sell it to Kelly anyway, I was just wondering what you thought about it?

Oh-Oh! Wait, do you know where my thing is, for that stuff I make at Thanksgiving? The one with the handle? No, not that, the other....thing...It has a green handle. For the stuff I made the year before last- this is for that pumpkin stuff I made last thanksgiving. I'm not talking about that. ARE YOU GOING TO HELP ME LOOK FOR IT OR ARE YOU GOING TO WALK OUT OF THE ROOM AGAIN LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO?
2013-02-20 04:03:20 PM  
2 votes:
Common refrain, by me:

"Honey, can we please jump ahead to the part where you tell me the specific details about what we have to attend?"

Then I get to eat dinner by myself, which is allegedly a punishment.
2013-02-20 04:03:13 PM  
2 votes:
At times I'm tempted to put a security camera in the kitchen so I could play back what she actually said, and not what she thought she said. But somehow that would backfire on me.
2013-02-20 03:58:30 PM  
2 votes:
If you are a man, imagine all the time, thought and energy you put into dreaming about sex and scheming to get sex. Assume women have about the same energy levels and that they have practically no sex drive. All that energy has to go somewhere right?
2013-02-20 03:55:20 PM  
2 votes:

SmackLT: Just different communication styles. Although I tend to be more wary when she uses a much smaller number of words because it sounds evasive by comparison.

Her: So I ran into Martin the other day.
Me: Oh really?
Her: Yeah.
Me: Where?
Her: Bookstore.
Me: Okay. So did you guys talk?
Her: A little.
Me: Then he left?
Her: No, we got coffee.
Me: Oh.
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: So what did you guys talk about?
Her: Nothing.
Me: ...


Yeah..... she's doing Martin.
2013-02-20 03:45:22 PM  
2 votes:
Women run their mouths entirely too much, and the noise that comes out almost always is in the form of some pointless complaint.

Take my girlfriend, for instance. Always whining about something or another, or trying to tell me what to do. The other night, she insisted on having a big two hour fight over my leaving a towel on the counter while I was doing the dishes. What a waste of time, and what a horrible way to live -- some idiot complaining at you all day.

I tell you, this will be the last time I''' be foolish enough to throw my freedom away for some woman.
2013-02-20 03:42:25 PM  
2 votes:

Ed Grubermann: My problems is with all the unrelated tangents, background data I don't need or want, and repetition of things I already know.


Men are just as bad at this. They're telling me a story and then:

"You know Dave, right. From Spindy's?"
"Uh, I don't think so..."
"Tall guy?"
"No."
"Wears a hat?"
"Doesn't matter...."
"He was friends with Lindsey?"
"Dude...."
2013-02-20 03:19:05 PM  
2 votes:
My problems is with all the unrelated tangents, background data I don't need or want, and repetition of things I already know.
2013-02-20 02:02:15 PM  
2 votes:

Theaetetus: Klippoklondike: Article says women are better at small talk?

No.


FTFA: "That said, the research also gives a reason for why women tend to be better at small talk."
2013-02-22 05:42:47 AM  
1 votes:

KiltedBastich: That doesn't change the fact that QM systems are not deterministic.


Mmmm... I don't think I'd necessarily agree with that.  It really depends on how you choose to think of determinism.  Quantum mechanical phenomena adhere very precisely to the mathematical machinations that describe it, and every possible outcome is described by the equations involved.  The fact that some events have more than one possible outcome doesn't, it could be argued, break determinism.  Being able to say with absolute certainty that "you have a 32.758% chance of X, and a 67.242% chance of Y" is most definitely a precise prediction that makes absolute determinations about that particle's nature.  Giving precise possibilities for various outcomes is as much as nature allows us, and is still far more tightly confined than the predictions possible in social sciences.  Absolutely Deterministic vs. Not Absolutely Deterministic is much too coarse a description, and likening QM to Sociology on those grounds is foolish.


KiltedBastich: That's actually exactly backwards.


I don't agree.

KiltedBastich: The important parts of the system are not the individual neurons, but their systemic behaviour and the emergent properties tof said systems.


I don't think you can truly understand those emergent properties or systemic behaviors without understanding how those individual neurons produce that systemic behavior.

KiltedBastich: One of the big reasons that neuropsychology is actually getting somewhere currently is that it's now possible to avoid the kind of reductionism that you propose, and actually perform rigorous analysis of the whole system of behaviour.


I didn't say systemic behavior wasn't important, I know it's hugely important.  But it isn't an either/or prospect.
Brain activity patterns are tied more closely to specific behaviors, emotions, etc, and yes, we've known how individual neurons work for a long time.  But what we haven't done is tie the two together.  Knowing how a single neuron uptakes or emits neurotransmitters, or how sodium channels produce nerve impulses, is a different matter than understanding how an individual neuron or small group of neurons starts a cascade of neural activity, how those neurons are activated in specific situations to produce particular behaviors, or emotions, or what have you.  Studying the individual parts is different than studying how those parts contribute to the whole, which is in turn different than studying the overall picture.  All of those things are important, and I don't think any one of them can be fully understood without each of the others.
2013-02-21 05:35:04 PM  
1 votes:

KiltedBastich: You know what other branch of science uses almost exclusively probabilistic trends to predict behaviour? Quantum mechanics.


In QM the probabilistic behaviors of the discrete parts of a system are fundamental, not due to an ignorance about what underlies them.  And those probabilities are mathematically guaranteed to produce very specific results which can be checked to extremely precise degrees.


KiltedBastich: The social sciences address complex issues at a very high level of analysis. It simply isn't feasible to engage in reductionist techniques with any validity, because you can't actually reduce down to objectively discrete units when you are dealing with social forces.


I'm aware of the reasons for it, I was simply pointing out that those limitations do exist, and that such standards for precision are much different compared to the natural sciences.


PsiChick: In your example, one data point in anthropology should falsify an entire theory. So if I can disprove your physics theory once, is that the end of it?


If your measurement directly contradicts my theory's prediction, and your measurement can be repeated by others and confirmed to not simply be a bad measurement by you... then yes.  Absolutely.  The theory is wrong.  That's the end of it.
2013-02-21 05:29:19 PM  
1 votes:

KiltedBastich: Let me say it again. I have a degree in sociology. I have taken a large number of anthropology classes.


No offense, you seem pretty smart and all, but that argument doesn't really work on Fark.

Just say what you think and leave credentials out of it.  You're lucid and persuasive enough without resorting to claims of authority.
2013-02-21 05:29:18 PM  
1 votes:

PsiChick: So if I can disprove your physics theory once, is that the end of it?


Yes, assuming the experiment that disproves a theory can be reproduced.  That's the difference between real science and pseudo-science.
2013-02-21 10:45:48 AM  
1 votes:

ChaoticLimbs: big pig peaches: bunner: "You should do ~n before it gets cold"

"I will."

"No, you wont.  You say you will but you never finish anything."

"Didn't I do A,. B, B and all that other crap you asked about last  month?"

"Only because I nagged you."

"Are you sure?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, cause and effect.  Have you tried NOT nagging me and seeing what happens?"

"You're not the only person who makes decisions in this family!"

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"Why are you so pigheaded?"

"Why do you have to try and convince me that without your foot up my ass, I couldn't tie my own shoes?"

"Whut UVER, you are so immature."

"Yes, that must be it."

"So are you going to do ~n?"

"*sigh*"

Please stop dating my wife.

Guys, since we're clearly all married to the same chick, you might consider what I've done, which is to passive-aggressively "remind" her to do her mundane chores right at the second she was about to do it anyway. When she inevitably loses her shiat, I remind her that this is how nagging feels, and she does this every day. I tell her to imagine how a person could deal with this kind of abuse day after day while only reacting in kind with silly reminders to illustrate why the behavior is objectionable instead of thumping his chest like a gorilla and screaming obscenities.


I tried that once for a month, along with keeping a daily journal of the chores I did, things I fixed and family activities I participated in (yes, I probably did more than usual since I was keeping track). It was like a really long game of Texas Hold'em held in the back room of a mafia-controlled pizzeria.

But it was worth it - I walked away with my chips and my balls... and the frightening realization that what took me an immense amount of focus and energy to sustain, she keeps in her head every second of every day. Three words - bigger corpus callosum.
2013-02-21 10:07:25 AM  
1 votes:

andyfromfl: KiltedBastich: gmpathfinder: Controlled studies of word use between women and men have consistently found no significant difference between words per day.
The article links another article as 'evidence' for the 7k word per day difference, yet the linked article absolutely does not support that claim.

Other than anecdote, there's really no evidence that men speak less (or women speak more). Rather, there's a wide range of speech use in both men and women, and we tend to remember individuals who violate the norm (for example, women who talk a lot). A lot of this is confirmation bias.

There are gender differences in what people talk about, but not how much across the day.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=11762186

Disagree? Show me a well documented, peer reviewed, adequately controlled experiment that shows a significant difference between gender that's not explained by other factors.

Here's the best one I could find. Note that they only deal with word count in passing.

That was directed at me, thanks for the backup.


You probably should've read his link before you thank him. It has nothing to do with word count, except that they happened to select a particular sample (54 short letters to Ladies Home Journal) that had more female text than male text. Word count is mentioned in passing merely to show that their statistical analysis of  other features was not based on a small sample size. That study, however, says nothing about a difference between amount of speech by either gender.
2013-02-21 09:54:04 AM  
1 votes:

Fafai: Ed Grubermann:

She doesn't want the problem solved.

Understanding this makes it even MORE infuriating. It's farking pathetic and a huge turn off to listen to someone biatch about shiat they can't even be assed to fix even when the solution is simple as fark, as it is half the time. Lazy AND entitled.


You STILL haven't grasped that SHE'S NOT LOOKING FOR A SOLUTION.  Doesn't matter how infuriating it is for you - she doesn't want it.  She just wants you to listen to her, and doesn't get why you can't do that one simple thing for her.  That's the flip side - she's just as frustrated with you as you are with her.

Both of you do need to find an acceptable middle ground.  Believe me, I understand your frustration - I go through the same thing with my GF.  What I do is listen to whatever BS problem she has but doesn't want solved, for about 5 minutes.  After that, I interrupt and say, "I'm going to to X* now - if you want talk more about this, come talk to me while I do it".  More often than not, that initial 5 minutes turns out to be sufficient, and even if it isn't, doing X at least gives me something constructive to do while I'm listening to her.

*X must be some small chore that is on the mutually-agreed list of things to be done, like getting the dead bugs out of the ceiling fan light fixture or bringing in more firewood, that you don't really want to do, but that she will never do.
2013-02-21 08:51:33 AM  
1 votes:

dmax: Used to have a lot of arguments that seemed like skew lines. I had one point, she had another. I noticed she would talk in one direction and I wanted another.

But I like the science, not the touchy feely self-help books.

So, since we like to read out loud to each other on road trips, while the other drives, we read Deborah Tannen's "You Just Don't Understand." Saved our marriage. Gave out dozens of copies to friends.

She is a linguist that studies how the different genders talk. TL;DR of her book: women talk in terms of association, horizontally, ("she's my best friend." "Let's do this together." That clique stuff.) but men talk in terms of power and control, vertically ("I'm the king." "Who's in charge here?" The totem pole of power).

So, when my wife asks, "Are you up for a movie tonight?" she's thinking "Let's do something together." but I'm hearing "I'm telling you that I've made plans for us."


If you interpret "Are you up for a movie tonight?" as "I've made plans for us" then either you aren't actually listening to what your wife is saying, or you don't have a very good grasp on the English language.  Words have specific meanings for a reason, and if everyone (men and women) were more precise in their use of language, I think many arguments could be avoided.
2013-02-21 08:38:45 AM  
1 votes:
Think I figured this one out.

imgs.xkcd.com
2013-02-21 06:19:37 AM  
1 votes:

ciberido: I think many of them find the idea that human behavior can be studied and understood intimidating.


Lol, that's silly.  Why would you think that?
No, in my experience, they just find their standards for the scientific hallmarks of "evidence", or "predictability" to be sadly lackluster.

I actually think that the study of behavior, or especially more fundamental things like consciousness, to be intensely interesting.  I also do not fault those fields for being so imprecise, largely because I recognize that they are this way because they stem from the analysis of a highly complex and chaotic system (a highly mathematical concept itself).

Perhaps in time we will develop the biotechnology to analyze those complex neural networks in our heads in a more deterministic and precise way, but until then things like psychology will have to serve as crude exploratory tools.
2013-02-21 06:07:32 AM  
1 votes:

PsiChick: I love hard sciences, but occasionally I wonder if they're trying to parody themselves. Just because you can't measure social influence with decimal points doesn't mean social influence doesn't exist. It just means you need to figure out a different measurement.


It sounds more like you're the one making a parody of what people actually think.
I'm a physicist, and nobody I know actually alleges that the phenomena described by social sciences don't exist.  They don't even say that they aren't useful.  What they do point out is that they are not deterministic.  In other words, even if you do "figure out a different measurement", when you actually take those measurements it references only a definition that YOU created instead of something that exists objectively.  Or, if it does exist objectively, it is something which cannot be quantified in any reliable way.  When people involved in the "hard sciences" complain about this they aren't saying that the phenomena don't exist, even if that's what it sounds like to you.  What they're doing is pointing out that the observations being made can't be used to objectively or unambiguously support or falsify any particular theory.  In the hard sciences, this is functionally the same as not having any data at all.

No reasonable person denies the results of operant conditioning experiments, or the existence of emotions (whether we can measure them or not), or the ability of therapists to help people with counseling.  But neither is it reasonable to suggest that social science theories meet the same rigorous criteria for reproducibility, predictive power, or even falsifiability that the "hard sciences" do.
2013-02-21 01:56:55 AM  
1 votes:

Talos: I'm surprised no one has brought up the cell phone factor.

When there's a cell phone involved the amount of superfluous b.s. women feel the need to talk about goes up by a factor of about 39 brazillion.


I have quite seriously considered attempting to punch wimmenfolks on the public transit for this kinda shiat. Oh my f**king gods how they yak. And yak. And yak. And yak. And yak. And yak. And yak.

And I AM a wimmenfolk.
2013-02-21 12:47:09 AM  
1 votes:

gmpathfinder: Controlled studies of word use between women and men have consistently found no significant difference between words per day.
The article links another article as 'evidence' for the 7k word per day difference, yet the linked article absolutely does not support that claim.

Other than anecdote, there's really no evidence that men speak less (or women speak more). Rather, there's a wide range of speech use in both men and women, and we tend to remember individuals who violate the norm (for example, women who talk a lot). A lot of this is confirmation bias.

There are gender differences in what people talk about, but not how much across the day.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=11762186

Disagree? Show me a well documented, peer reviewed, adequately controlled experiment that shows a significant difference between gender that's not explained by other factors.


Here's the best one I could find. Note that they only deal with word count in passing.
2013-02-21 12:35:14 AM  
1 votes:

PsiChick: A) Psychology is usually considered a social science. Neurology isn't, but psychology is. That's part of why psychology has a field devoted to uncovering the differences in psychology between cultures; there are very few hard and fast rules when you leave neurology behind.


There are aspects of psychology that use social science methodology, but there is a huge side of it that comes from the natural sciences. And if you think neuropsychology doesn't exist as a discipline that studies the way the biological brain affects cognition and behaviour, then I have to ask what rock you have been living under for the last few decades. I will also point out that you just created exactly the sort of artificial, arbitrary distinction I was talking about. You tried to separate into discrete categories something that is not in any way separate or discrete just to maintain your personal worldview.

We know that biological variation affects cognition. We know that different people respond differently to social pressures based on biological variations. Yet the social sciences for the most part prefer to pretend none of that exists.

PsiChick: B) I think you're mistaking my point. I'm not arguing that biology isn't an influence; I'm arguing that we all experience the same mild, universal biological urges, that our social training then translates on an unconscious level. It looks like instinct. It is not. Let's ignore your waist-to-hip ratio example and look at your example of parrots bobbing their heads. Why is the human bobbing their head? To keep in time with the crappy Vanilla Ice song they're playing. Why is the parrot bobbing his head? He's saying you have something he wants--it's body language. That's not the same thing.


That's the flip side of the coin from assuming biological determinism, and it's just as wrong. There is biological variation between humans, and the interaction of culture and biology expresses itself differently in each individual. Treating variation in outcome as if all the variability is due to social forces because the biology is presumed to be invariant is just as wrongheaded as assuming that all human traits are due to the biology and the social influences are inconsequential.

And no, when I talk about parrots and beat induction, I am being very specific. I am not talking about parrots bobbing their heads to get something they want. I am specifically referring to the ability to follow the beat of music.

PsiChick: What I'm talking about is better described using this example: In America, common methods of suicide are guns and knives, but in the Middle East, it's fire. Why? Because the same urge--a strong one, in this case--is translated differently due to unrelated ideas about symbolism, sexyness of weapons, etc.. That's culture. It gives a lens for a biologically-based reaction, or sometimes psychologically-based. Now, language is much more complicated, and from what I know feral children never learn it without someone actively teaching it to them. That indicates that it's insanely unlikely that any biology has such an effect on language that it would influence word count. But a researcher might find that if they hadn't studied social sciences and didn't realize language is not innate.


Um, that last part about language is exactly backwards. Biology has a huge impact on our language use. Children have the ability to easily acquire language fluency at a young age during a critical period of development. They will easily learn any languages they are exposed to consistently during this period. Language acquisition after this period becomes much more difficult even in later childhood, and if the child is not exposed to language at all during this critical period of brain development, then language acquisition will be permanently stunted, such that any later language use will be simplistic, stilted and halting, often with very basic grammar and syntax. The case of Genie provided a lot of the initial evidence about this developmental pathway, but it has been confirmed since by other cases.

This can express itself in strange ways. If you immerse a child in one language for the first part of the critical period, but then change the language they are exposed to right at the end, you get a person who grows up with a strong accent of the former language even if they lose all actual fluency in the language, because the brain has already absorbed the phoneme structure even if the actual language itself is lost.

Heck, we even know what parts of the brain are responsible for language. Broca's area and Wernicke's area both influence language, and damaging either leads to a form of aphasia - but of totally different varieties. Damage to Broca's area leads to speech which is grammatical and meaningful, but slow and halting with simple sentence structure and which lacks fluency. Damage to Wernicke's area leads to fluent speech that is produced easily, but which is nonsensical and lacks any grammatical or syntactic structure.

So we actually know that language is deeply and fundamentally dependent on brain development and function - just like everything else we do, because the brain is the seat of the mind. To presume that variations in brain function cannot lead to variations in language use is ludicrous. In fact, we already know there are differences in language processing in the brain based on sex, with women being more bilateral while men are left lateral. And yet you are instantly willing to dismiss out of hand the possibility that there could be anything other than cultural influences on language use and acquisition.

Why? This is exactly the kind of academic presumption I am talking about. You apparently have a background in the social sciences, and so you accept the dogma of the social sciences that say the biological differences are not important and can be safely ignored when studying human behaviour, despite the vast amount of available evidence coming out of psychology that this is not the case and has never been the case.
2013-02-20 11:33:10 PM  
1 votes:

Caffandtranqs: WhippingBoy: Bronzemom: Bull manure.  Look how many words you knuckleheads use to claim women talk too much.
enough said

Uh-oh... someone's feeling a wee bit defensive, aren't they?

It's hilarious because it's true.  You guys are going on about women.....like a bunch of women.


They're doing it here because it's the only place they can get a word in edgewise.
2013-02-20 10:41:14 PM  
1 votes:
Sigh... Everybody says I communicate like a woman. I know it's true.

Maybe I could make a career as an interpreter for men.
2013-02-20 09:24:08 PM  
1 votes:
Let me just add this...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoqpjOZxf2M

A lot of this thread is spot on, good luck folks!
2013-02-20 08:57:24 PM  
1 votes:

fredklein: ciberido: fredklein: Telling someone you're unhappy makes you... not unhappy? Does telling someone you ARE happy make you sad??

Yes, Mr. Spock, I understand that human emotions confuse you.  If only you were Data and not Spock, maybe I could just install a chip or something.

Oh, I have emotions. But when I'm sad, I don't talk about it. Because talking about it doesn't help- it just dredges up more stuff to be unhappy about. If I'm sad, I figure out WHY, and fix the problem.


Yup

Repeating your problem to various people without doing anything about it only creates long term issues in exchange for short term consolation.
2013-02-20 08:54:01 PM  
1 votes:
dilbert.com
dilbert.com
2013-02-20 08:50:12 PM  
1 votes:
Can't believe I've read through 300+ comments (totally enjoying it, BTW) and all I've got to offer is this, from High Fidelity:

"what really matters is what you like, not what you are like... Books, records, films - these things matter. Call me shallow but it's the farkin' truth "

Great thread.
2013-02-20 08:48:57 PM  
1 votes:

sethen320: My wife is horrible at communicating.  Incomplete thoughts, wrong words used, etc...

We just had a conversation about it the other day.  She has a bad habit of doing stuff like not actually pointing at things when asking for help retrieving something or whatnot.  She will "point" by looking at the object and then say "can you hand me that".  This typically leads to me or some other poor soul desperately trying to guess what "that" may be while being polite about it.  Meanwhile she gets more and more frustrated.  But dare ask "what does that mean" and she will have some roundabout reason as to why you should have known what she was wanting because she mentioned it in a conversation which happened anywhere from 15 minutes to two days ago.  And she will drone on about it for at least 5 minutes.

I used to think that it was reserved just for me but I've watched her go through this with others.  I tell her to take time, expend the syllables, and just explain what she wants.  The funny part is how frustrated she gets with everyone.  "Nobody ever listens to me!".  I told her we are listening, she just sucks at talking.


I had an outstanding example of this recently. GF is in a tizzy, moving here, cleaning this and generally butterflying around the apartment so I cannot 'do' anything except offer to help. I offer to help.

Me: Can I help?
Her: Uhhh.... uh..... put that in the closet. *Vague gesturing*
Me: Can you clarify please?
Her: *condescending voice* The extension cord, please put it in the closet.
Me: Ok, we have three closets, which one?
Her: The.....WHY would you put that in the closet in our room? That doesn't make any sense.
Me: Well I don't know why we would store an extension cord in any closet, I'm trying to help. Which closet please?
Her: Nevermind! I'll do it!


What follows is a two hour conversation on communication, presumption and body language. Her cleaning started because she saw me look at the living room and say 'We need to get this place ready for our houseguest', who was coming in a week. What I had actually been doing was responding to her friend who had asked me 'what are you doing with the toilet paper' I had in my hands. So while I was simply holding TP and replying to her friend, she took it as some sort of disastrous meta-comment on our apartment and by extension our relationship.  Christ.
2013-02-20 08:11:46 PM  
1 votes:

Ed Grubermann: fredklein: ciberido: She didn't ask you for advice. She told you she had a problem, because she wanted a shoulder to cry on.

Crying on a shoulder doesn't solve the problem. (unless the problem is a dry shoulder). Solving the problem solves the problem.

She doesn't want the problem solved.


This should be the first thing any male human being is ever taught. When a woman tells you she has a problem, you need to very carefully consider whether or not she wants you to fix it before you open your trap. Most of the time, offering a rational solution will get you nothing but pain. Even if she says "the toilet is backed up, would you fix it?" you should spend a few seconds considering your response, just in case.
2013-02-20 08:10:04 PM  
1 votes:

Ed Grubermann: fredklein: ciberido: She didn't ask you for advice. She told you she had a problem, because she wanted a shoulder to cry on.

Crying on a shoulder doesn't solve the problem. (unless the problem is a dry shoulder). Solving the problem solves the problem.

She doesn't want the problem solved.


Of course not. She is the problem.
2013-02-20 07:46:32 PM  
1 votes:

Theaetetus: [www.phdcomics.com image 600x667]

Or, specifically in this article:
1. The average woman talks more than the average man.
2. Male rat pups cry more than female rat pups, and they have twice as much of the protein FOXP2.
3. In a study of 10 human children, the females had more of the FOXP2 protein than the males.

... which is translated as "we discovered the protein that causes adult women to talk more!"


By the way, back to a serious post for whoever is interested to read my sci-babble.

*begin full-force SERIOUS MODE*
I want to reiterate the importance of not assuming cause and effect. Obvious evidence strongly indicates that there is likely no cause and effect relationship between quantity of speech and FOXP2:

The FOXP2 gene is located on chromosome 7, which is NOT a sex chromosome. From a Mendelian-only perspective (assuming completely random hookups), men and women should have similar rates of FOXP2 dominance. Now, higher dominance of FOXP2 in one gender over the other throughout the population could still be possible, but not due to any direct effect from being a specific gender. Rather, as all the woes in this thread show, FOXP2 might have an effect on who bangs who because it could affect attractiveness by affecting, say, social interactions.

By the shiatty article that mentioned the study, it seems that females of the observed animals used more vocalizations and had a correlation with higher FOXP2 expression, as well as the correlation that human girls have more FOXP2.

Given the female correlation with FOXP2 and the fact that FOXP2 has equal chance to pass to the child during recombination (ignoring factors like FOXP2's affect on attractiveness of the phenotype), I would be willing to bet that many other genes are located on the X chromosome that also affect speech. This might be related to such known facts as higher rates of some language disorders in boys, like dyslexia (boys don't get that backup X chromosome).

So if you held a gun to my head and made me jump to a conclusion, I would say that FOXP2 probably indirectly affects the expression of other genes which more directly affect speech and/or vocalizations. I'd also jump to a conclusion that FOXP2 is an evolutionary mammal relic which interacts with female genes (or maybe something on the male Y chromosome suppresses FOXP2) so that the females would use more vocalizations to comfort, communicate, etc, baby offspring.
*end full-force SERIOUS MODE*  

Journalists do it, so I'll do it.
My conclusion hilariously would mean that women are all instinctively talking to their husbands as if the husband were literally a baby.

So, ladies, lay off your dude and treat him like an adult, k? None of that slow soul-destroying nagging.
2013-02-20 07:40:06 PM  
1 votes:
fredklein

If she wants "comfort and reassurance", maybe she should ask for ... wait for it... comfort and reassurance??

She: Honey, I really need some comfort and reassurance!
He: About what?

and there you go.
2013-02-20 07:28:57 PM  
1 votes:
IRQ12
Haven't laughed at a thread like this in a long time.

People were staring at me on the train home because my shoulders were shaking I was laughing so, as quietly as I could, anyway...

Also, the headline made me laugh for a good 5 minutes.

(and I'm a woman)

Well done, subby.
2013-02-20 07:07:47 PM  
1 votes:

Caffandtranqs: WhippingBoy: Bronzemom: Bull manure.  Look how many words you knuckleheads use to claim women talk too much.
enough said

Uh-oh... someone's feeling a wee bit defensive, aren't they?

It's hilarious because it's true.  You guys are going on about women.....like a bunch of women.


The only people in this thread posting long, non-sensical, drivel are the pseudo-feminists and their white knights.
2013-02-20 06:58:02 PM  
1 votes:

treesloth: Me:  This morning.


This always happens:

Us: Let's agree to start packing a week before we move
*One month before we move*
Her: I don't want to have to pack this entire house myself!
Me: If you worry about it lots, you'll burn yourself out. We agreed to do it in three weeks as neither of us wants to live with boxes of stuff.
*Two weeks before we move, I come home to a completely packed house and a really pissed off girlfriend*
Her: You weren't doing anything and we move in TWO WEEKS
Me: But we agreed to do this one week before we move, you electedto jump the gun, if you are annoyed right now, this is because you made an executive decision that overruled our plan. Do not be made at me, for I do not deserve it.
Her: WHATEVER!!


She also knows I refuse to lie to her, this means she'll ask me questions she doesn't like the answer to:

Her: So I was thinking....
Me: *quiet full body shudder, anxiety from impending conversation that won't be needed*   *gulp*  Yeah?
Her: Well, I would like my own office, I know you have your own office and that's great, but you need that space for you. I need space for me. I think we should move.
Me: Let's switch. You can have the office, you would use it more than I.
Her: That won't do, you need that space."
Me: I'm telling you, if you need more space, I do not, you should take the office.
Her: No, no, you need it more.
Me: If avoiding a conversation about moving can be headed off simply by letting you use the office, it's win/win. You get the space you need, we save money from moving. We've only been in this (awesome and affordable) place for a year now.
Her: No, that won't work.
Me: Why not?
Her: I... I don't know. It just won't.

She goes off grumpy, I feel like punching myself because now we're both annoyed, and the conversation could have been avoided.

So many more, I see my brothers in this thread have much of the same strife. And drama. I don't need more drama in my life, if I did, I'd take a hostage at a bank.
2013-02-20 06:44:23 PM  
1 votes:

Ed Grubermann: fredklein: ciberido: She didn't ask you for advice. She told you she had a problem, because she wanted a shoulder to cry on.

Crying on a shoulder doesn't solve the problem. (unless the problem is a dry shoulder). Solving the problem solves the problem.

She doesn't want the problem solved.


Then why is she talking about it?
2013-02-20 06:39:32 PM  
1 votes:
 The post argument argument where I'm basically told that by definition my disagreeing with her point of view is the equivalent of my screaming at her.

In fact she'll even recreate my screaming at her in a threatening manner and using words and statements that I never even came close to using.

It can quite disconcerting that she is convinced that this was how it actually happened.
2013-02-20 06:39:11 PM  
1 votes:

CtrlAltDestroy: I would never want to be in a relationship with, or married to, someone who I thought was vapid and annoying. I couldn't see myself being with someone who I didn't want to spend lots and lots of time with for every reason. Good conversation, overlapping hobbies, sense of humor, etc. I couldn't see myself seriously being with someone who I didn't see as my best friend.


Most of these complaints are minor annoyances people have with their partners.  I love my wife to death, completely crazy about her.  But she does pull the talking to me no matter where I am in the house bit.  You'll never find someone who doesn't have annoying tendencies.  My wife probably hates a bunch of stuff I do too.  It's that old chestnut about not trespassing on others and forgiving those who trespass against you.  We do our best to not bug each other, but it's gonna happen.

You're likely single because you think people can't love each other when they're not 100% compatible in every aspect of their life.  As long as the important stuff works, the little things are just gravy
2013-02-20 06:37:04 PM  
1 votes:

Pilikia: HER: "What did you buy at Walgreens today?
ME: "Where?"
HER: "Walgreens. I was looking at the checking account online and saw a debit card transaction for $5.43."
ME: "Oh. Tylenol. I had a bad headache."
HER: "I thought we were going to discuss debit card purchases together before making them as part of our new family budget plan."
ME: "Um..."
HER: "I mean, you can't just live your own separate life like this. We need to communicate if we're going to make this budget work. You know the Millers, right? They put all of their expenditures from each day into a spreadsheet together, every night, and they..."
ME: (leaving room)
HER: "Where are you going?"
ME: "Getting the Tylenol."


Part of any sane budget should include a certain amount of money for "random BS I need right, right now". Make it roll over every month, and keep track.  If you're constantly running out, it's probably time to cut back.  Beyond that, don't care.

New $2300 laptop, let's chat.  $5 for tylenol, I don't care.

/One of the advantages to having a roommate in the Bay Area is I can take the $800 I'm not spending on my own place and use half for student loans and half for stupid BS.  No need for a budget, since I'm living about $1500 a month below my paycheck, and $1000 below expectations.
//Once the tax return comes in, I'll have paid off $10,000 in debt in the last 3 months, I can have student loans gone in 6 months, and all debt in a year and a half.
///Of course, it's Bay Area, so I'll still be in crushing poverty, and putting half my salary towards rent if I get my own place, but I'll be in a better financial position at 25 than my parents are at 55.
2013-02-20 06:33:12 PM  
1 votes:

Pilikia: noitsnot: OgreMagi: Pilikia: noitsnot: I have one!  It's called "the Dinner Game":

M: Where do you want to eat?
F: I don't know...
M: How about Jimmies?
F: No...
M: OK, how about Lobster Pile?
F: No...
M: OK, how about Steak and Poop?
F: No...
M: Well, where would YOU like to go?
F: I don't know...
M: OK, how about Miles O' Bacon?
F: No...
M: OK, how about Cheese Weasel?
F: No...
M: Well, I guess we could stay in then.
F: BUT YOU SAID WE WERE GOING OUUUUUUT!

SO MUCH THIS

Once my wife did this.  I walked out, got in the car, went to In-n-Out, had a nice burger, fries, and coke, then drove home.  She asked me where the hell I went.  I told her I had dinner.  So I didn't get any sex that night.  Nor any for the next week.

I am no longer married.

I actually figured the way out of this trap.  This pattern means that she does not really want to be involved in deciding, except in a token way.

The correct answer is to say "Let's go to Chicken Festival.  There, I've just made the reservation.  Go get in the car, we are leaving now."

At this point, she either will go to Chicken Festival, or change it to something different - but there will be a resolution.  No more tail-chasing.

All kidding aside, I agree that this is essentially correct, assuming there are no mitigating factors such as a blowout argument simmering just below the surface. Took me 16 years of marriage to figure it out.


I tried doing the "I've decided" bit and gave her the opportunity to suggest an alternative.  Her response was, "I don't know".  That's when I realized there was absolutely no right answer.  She was purposely setting me up to fail, thus my decision to say "fark it" and go to In-N-Out without her.
2013-02-20 06:29:53 PM  
1 votes:
Seeing what you guys have to say on this topic (so far. still reading) I can't help but be reminded of something. I see lots of people and hear them complain about their significant other.

He can't stand when she opens her mouth to talk. She thinks that he just ignores her when the TV is on. He can't stand it when she drags him shopping. She hates that he has no interest in her favorite hobbies. Etc, etc.

Why are these people together? Why? Are their relationships so shallow that the part where two people connect as human beings, and not just physically, not part of the equation?

I can't help but look at these people who seem to be connected only by their nether regions and feel sorry for them. I've had a pair of married guys laugh in my face at the idea that a third guy should discuss a financial decision with his wife, as her initial idea really wasn't very good. After they calmed down from the laughing one said, "you just don't understand the way it works." The way what works? Is the notion that you should be able to talk to your spouse about a serious topic so foreign to people?

I would never want to be in a relationship with, or married to, someone who I thought was vapid and annoying. I couldn't see myself being with someone who I didn't want to spend lots and lots of time with for every reason. Good conversation, overlapping hobbies, sense of humor, etc. I couldn't see myself seriously being with someone who I didn't see as my best friend.

/That's probably why I'm single.
//That and being ugly less than attractive.
2013-02-20 06:27:51 PM  
1 votes:

L.D. Ablo: Contrabulous Flabtraption: Women do indeed do this. They also "tell" you things without actually doing so, then get angry when you forget.

For example, this past Sunday evening:

Wife: Jen wants to bra shopping. Maybe at Nordys.
Me: Nordys?
Wife: Nordstroms.
Me: That's the same amount of syllables.
Wife: (paraphrasing) They do all the fitting and sizing and what not

Monday afternoon
Wife: I'll head straight home after work.
Me: OK, as opposed to?
Wife: Going bra shopping
Me: didnt realize you had made a plan to that
Wife: i mentioned that yesterday. about going with Jen
Me: I know, you mentioned it, didn't know you had planned to do so today
Wife: well, no matter. it's not happening.
Me: OK

Women know what they're doing.  This is done to keep men off balance and uncertain, giving them the upper hand.


I hope you're joking. There's no use in being paranoid. People generally lack the wherewithal to deliberately harm you. The weapon of choice is typically incompetence.
2013-02-20 06:26:10 PM  
1 votes:
I don't want to denigrate this important discussion, but am I the only one who thought, damn, that's a mighty come-over-here-big-boy mouth when the article opened.
2013-02-20 06:21:02 PM  
1 votes:

Glancing Blow: Her: What do you want for supper?
Me: How about steak?
Her: I defrosted the salmon.
Me: OK, let's have the salmon.
Her: But I don't have an onion for the rice!
Me: I'll go get one.
Her: I don't really feel like cooking the salmon.
Me: OK.
Her: Unless you really want it.
Me: No, what would you like?
Her: But I defrosted the salmon, I don't want it to go bad.
Me: OK.
Her: What do you want with it.
Me: Why don't we have some of those frozen vegies we have.
Her: We could have steak, there's some in the freezer.
Me: Great.
Her: unless you want the salmon.


"Both" is an acceptable answer. Then the leftovers can be eaten for the next meal, bypassing the circular discussion completely.
2013-02-20 06:13:18 PM  
1 votes:
I love this thread. I am sorely tempted to show it to my girlfriend but I don't think she'll understand why. For me, it'd be about empathy, for her, it'd be able re-inforcing stereotypes and disrespecting her.
2013-02-20 06:09:44 PM  
1 votes:

Klippoklondike: Article says women are better at small talk?  If the point at small talk is to say 20 gazillion words with no clear point and no single topic or direction then yes, women are great at small talk.  If the point is to kill time and actually learn something, men are better at small talk.


This is known as the "Bechdel Test".
2013-02-20 06:09:13 PM  
1 votes:
HER: "What did you buy at Walgreens today?
ME: "Where?"
HER: "Walgreens. I was looking at the checking account online and saw a debit card transaction for $5.43."
ME: "Oh. Tylenol. I had a bad headache."
HER: "I thought we were going to discuss debit card purchases together before making them as part of our new family budget plan."
ME: "Um..."
HER: "I mean, you can't just live your own separate life like this. We need to communicate if we're going to make this budget work. You know the Millers, right? They put all of their expenditures from each day into a spreadsheet together, every night, and they..."
ME: (leaving room)
HER: "Where are you going?"
ME: "Getting the Tylenol."
2013-02-20 05:53:56 PM  
1 votes:

noitsnot: I have one!  It's called "the Dinner Game":

M: Where do you want to eat?
F: I don't know...
M: How about Jimmies?
F: No...
M: OK, how about Lobster Pile?
F: No...
M: OK, how about Steak and Poop?
F: No...
M: Well, where would YOU like to go?
F: I don't know...
M: OK, how about Miles O' Bacon?
F: No...
M: OK, how about Cheese Weasel?
F: No...
M: Well, I guess we could stay in then.
F: BUT YOU SAID WE WERE GOING OUUUUUUT!


SO MUCH THIS
2013-02-20 05:53:12 PM  
1 votes:

noitsnot: I have one!  It's called "the Dinner Game":

M: Where do you want to eat?
F: I don't know...
M: How about Jimmies?
F: No...
M: OK, how about Lobster Pile?
F: No...
M: OK, how about Steak and Poop?
F: No...
M: Well, where would YOU like to go?
F: I don't know...
M: OK, how about Miles O' Bacon?
F: No...
M: OK, how about Cheese Weasel?
F: No...
M: Well, I guess we could stay in then.
F: BUT YOU SAID WE WERE GOING OUUUUUUT!


I never get past two suggestions before giving up and telling her to pick something, ANYTHING, because I'm not her goddamn event planner.
2013-02-20 05:50:33 PM  
1 votes:
I have one!  It's called "the Dinner Game":

M: Where do you want to eat?
F: I don't know...
M: How about Jimmies?
F: No...
M: OK, how about Lobster Pile?
F: No...
M: OK, how about Steak and Poop?
F: No...
M: Well, where would YOU like to go?
F: I don't know...
M: OK, how about Miles O' Bacon?
F: No...
M: OK, how about Cheese Weasel?
F: No...
M: Well, I guess we could stay in then.
F: BUT YOU SAID WE WERE GOING OUUUUUUT!
2013-02-20 05:40:39 PM  
1 votes:

PsiChick: I think it's partly because, in America at least, we have this idea that a true scientist is unemotional, hyperliteral, and incapable of relating to other humans floating around our grab bag of cultural stereotypes. Drives me farking nuts. If you're scared of emotions because you can't play with decimals, that's called social anxiety, not rational behavior.


This is a perfect example of the kind of thing I get exasperated about. That's a common lay stereotype, it is true. It is one shared by many social scientists, it is also true. What is not true is that all or even most natural scientists share it. I have met many garrulous and friendly natural scientists. Research at the university level and teaching requires the ability to deal with human contact, especially in psychology and human biology and other natural science fields that study people.

I have literally studied and worked in both the social milieu of the natural scientists and the social milieu of the social scientists, and as I said I have degrees in both sociology and psychology. Each group holds misperceptions about the work and habits of the other group. It's literally basic tribalism and academic territoriality and it drives me farking nuts every time I have to deal with it because the universe at large does not give the slightest of shiats about the arbitrary boundaries we set up to describe the limits of our system of categorization of knowledge. Human biology and human society do not exist in discrete separate spheres that can be reduced to neat and seperate categories. They are instead a hugely complex system of interacting elements where multiple causality and overlapping influences are the norm, not the exception, and the idiotic wrangling over whose theories should get precedence when attempting to explain it is stupid and counterproductive.

Argh. End rant. As you may be able to tell, this is one of my personal pet peeves with regards to academia and the politics thereof.
2013-02-20 05:36:30 PM  
1 votes:

lordluzr: Two hundred comments in two hours.... Fark is a woman.


Notice how internet comments are usually relatively succinct and get the point across without superfluous information? Internet savvy people know that long text blocks will largely get ignored. This same rule applies to most men and real life conversations.
2013-02-20 05:34:59 PM  
1 votes:
catmacros.files.wordpress.com
2013-02-20 05:27:30 PM  
1 votes:

ciberido: AncientLurker: This thread is golden.
 My personal fav is when the x-wife used to tell me what was wrong in any situation, I would offer advice on how to fix it, which made me a jerk (if you ask me for advice, you should expect it).

She didn't ask you for advice.  She told you she had a problem, because she wanted a shoulder to cry on.

The problem is, you misinterpreted "I want to tell you about this problem" as "I want you to tell me how to fix this problem."

It's not exclusively a gender problem (both men and women do it, not all men do it), but it seems to happen more often with men for whatever reason.


Men fix things. It's what we do, and what we've been trained to do. It takes years to figure out that women don't want you to fix their problems. It might take less time f they'd just farking tell us in the first place. But most of them don't. We can't read minds.
2013-02-20 05:22:41 PM  
1 votes:

bunner: Smelly Pirate Hooker: I'd be sympathetic, but so many of you are also assholes, so I figure you deserve it.

Smelly Pirate Hooker: LOL. You used the word "love," as if you actually meant it.

Yeah, that's my limit for smirky misandry for the day.  *click*


Oh no. But extra points for using the word "misandry." I think you get a free month of Total Fark for that.
2013-02-20 05:21:51 PM  
1 votes:

AncientLurker: This thread is golden.
 My personal fav is when the x-wife used to tell me what was wrong in any situation, I would offer advice on how to fix it, which made me a jerk (if you ask me for advice, you should expect it).


She didn't ask you for advice.  She told you she had a problem, because she wanted a shoulder to cry on.

The problem is, you misinterpreted "I want to tell you about this problem" as "I want you to tell me how to fix this problem."

It's not exclusively a gender problem (both men and women do it, not all men do it), but it seems to happen more often with men for whatever reason.
2013-02-20 05:19:18 PM  
1 votes:

ciberido: PsiChick: More like: "We have never once even  heard of linguistic anthropology, because social sciences are for LOOZERS!". Seriously, hard sciences have  got to STFU about soft sciences, because  social sciences occasionally find out shiat that makes you look like a retard, such as the current theory that's so secure it's taught to 101 students: Women and men have differing speech patterns because of cultural hardwiring. Unless you find a pattern that occurs in  multiple different cultures before globalization, you are  not looking at biology, you're looking at culture.

I love hard sciences, but occasionally I wonder if they're trying to parody themselves. Just because you can't measure social influence with decimal points doesn't mean social influence doesn't exist. It just means you need to figure out a different measurement.

People who are big into hard science are very often spooked by softer science.  I think many of them find the idea that human behavior can be studied and understood intimidating.


I think it's partly because, in America at least, we have this idea that a true scientist is unemotional, hyperliteral, and incapable of relating to other humans floating around our grab bag of cultural stereotypes. Drives me farking nuts. If you're scared of emotions because you can't play with decimals, that's called social anxiety, not rational behavior.
2013-02-20 05:16:57 PM  
1 votes:

AncientLurker: Ugh, I hear ya buddy. Mine used to do this immediately when I walked in the door from work. Just venting at me after a long day at the office. Tried to put a rule in for 30 minutes of quiet time after work but didn't last.
I found that the best thing to endure her ongoing biatching about everything was scotch.



Sounds like the standing 6pm session I have every night at my house. Scotch helps, but I can do the whole thing on autopilot now. The trick is to sprinkle in a few vague phrases when she stops long enough to take a breath. Some of my favorites include:


"She's the one who just had the baby, right?"

"The other women at work are threatened by your ideas."

"That sucks sweetheart, I'm sorry to hear that."

"I understand why that would be frustrating."

"You were right to react that way."


If you do it right, you don't have to have heard a god damn thing.
2013-02-20 05:14:31 PM  
1 votes:
Of all the women in my life, my beloved mother is the absolute worst. Every 25 minute phone conversation with her is 23-minutes of her regaling me with all the details of what her little-old-lady friends did this past week (a neighborhood walk, widows' support group, whose grandkid is graduating from middle-school, who's getting a hip replacement, on and on and on).

But what is most head-shaking is that I've never met four-fifths of these septuagenarians. And the half-dozen that I have, I haven't seen them in-person in 25 years.  Jeebus.
2013-02-20 05:13:59 PM  
1 votes:

treesloth: bunner: "I mean, cause and effect. Have you tried NOT nagging me and seeing what happens?"

See, I've tried to explain that.  I've even had this conversation:

Her:  When are you going to do X?
Me:  I already did.
Her:  When?
Me:  This morning.
Her:  It's about time.
Me:  You first asked me to do it this morning.
Her:  I shouldn't have had to remind you.
Me:  You didn't.  I did it this morning.

And I have the hardest time getting across the fact that her apparent need to remind me of something is not the same as me needing to be reminded.  If anything, if she really thinks I'm that much of a farking idiot, it just deprives her of the opportunity to be surprised when I do it without being reminded... like I absolutely always do.


Pfft. My wife reminds me to do stuff I'm already doing.

Her: could you do the dishes?
Me (standing by the kitchen sink, sponge in hand, dishwasher open: As soon as I finish washing my balls, I'll get to it.
Her: What's wrong with you?
2013-02-20 05:10:48 PM  
1 votes:

JNowe: Scientists have discovered that women possess higher levels of a "language protein" in their brains, which could explain why females are so talkative.

Which would be fine, if they had higher levels of content.


It's the same amount of content, but now with 50% more volume!
2013-02-20 05:02:31 PM  
1 votes:

KiltedBastich: PsiChick: More like: "We have never once even heard of linguistic anthropology, because social sciences are for LOOZERS!". Seriously, hard sciences have got to STFU about soft sciences, because social sciences occasionally find out shiat that makes you look like a retard, such as the current theory that's so secure it's taught to 101 students: Women and men have differing speech patterns because of cultural hardwiring. Unless you find a pattern that occurs in multiple different cultures before globalization, you are not looking at biology, you're looking at culture.

I love hard sciences, but occasionally I wonder if they're trying to parody themselves. Just because you can't measure social influence with decimal points doesn't mean social influence doesn't exist. It just means you need to figure out a different measurement.

Actually, I find that both the natural sciences and the social sciences share a common bias: They assume any foible of human behaviour must be due to the consequences of that which they study. Having studied both at one time or the other, I find this exasperating. We're biological entities with hardwired cognitive behaviours built into a variable and plastic organic substrate. We have instincts and biases that we all share, but which are subject to modification by the environment, especially sociocultural values.

For example, there's the point that most men in most cultures find a waist to hip ration of 0.7 to be the most attractive. Yet there are social scientists who dispute this by pointing out that there are cultures that identify obese women or very thin women as most attractive. I see these sorts of arguments and want to /facepalm so hard , because the argument misses the obvious conclusion. The biological baseline preference exists but is subject to extensive modification by cultural values. Nature AND nurture.

I think something like this study is another potential example of this exasperating tendency. A biological difference has been ...


...Anthropology actually discusses the difference between a social trait and a biological trait as part of its field. Like, again, this is what they teach in 101. As do most other social sciences. Part of the waist-hip thing is that any biological inclination would be very slight, like TFA--so slight as to be, for all intents and purposes, nonexistant. Humans do not have many true instincts, and there  are some behaviors that pattern across all cultures. Schizophrenia, for example, manifests the same way in every culture. That's a biological trait.

This study, in my eyes, may well have found a slight indicator of a mild tendency to language. But that's about it. In another culture, it would be unnoticeable, which means there's very little value in the real world in looking at it as an indicator, although certainly it's of value to further research. But at some point, .00000000000000001 is just 0.
2013-02-20 05:00:11 PM  
1 votes:

vegaswench: I am going to teach a class. "How To Respond When Someone At Work Asks You How You Are 101."

Only accetable answer: "Fine, how are you?"

All other responses get an F.


Took me years to learn that.

Coincidentally, I was telling someone this just today, and concluded with, "I finally grokked it when I realized that 'How are you?" is a GREETING, not a QUESTION."
2013-02-20 04:58:20 PM  
1 votes:

My Yali or Yours: Women don't want you to douse the flames by helping solve their problems, they want you to further stoke their "why me" fires by basically crying and boo-hooing along with them.


I find that a semi-dismissive "sorry, sweetie ... bummer" helps.  Of course then the wheels start going in my head about how to actually SOLVE the issue, but that's cured by pouring brown liquors on frozen water.
2013-02-20 04:50:35 PM  
1 votes:
Raise your hand if you are a guy and you have had a conversation with one of your buddies that was entierly made up of single word responses.

(raises hand)

A girl friend of mine, who can be very pedantic when it comes to English, overheard me talking on the phone with one of my buddies. The whole conversation took maybe...  20 seconds?

Her:  "What was that?"
Me:   "I was talking to Bob."
Her:  "No you weren't!  You said six, maybe seven single words.  They weren't even sentences!"
Me:   "Yes I was. We're going out for pizza at 6.  Want to come with us?"
Her:  (annoyed)
2013-02-20 04:48:11 PM  
1 votes:

bunner: "I mean, cause and effect. Have you tried NOT nagging me and seeing what happens?"


See, I've tried to explain that.  I've even had this conversation:

Her:  When are you going to do X?
Me:  I already did.
Her:  When?
Me:  This morning.
Her:  It's about time.
Me:  You first asked me to do it this morning.
Her:  I shouldn't have had to remind you.
Me:  You didn't.  I did it this morning.

And I have the hardest time getting across the fact that her apparent need to remind me of something is not the same as me needing to be reminded.  If anything, if she really thinks I'm that much of a farking idiot, it just deprives her of the opportunity to be surprised when I do it without being reminded... like I absolutely always do.
2013-02-20 04:47:26 PM  
1 votes:

reveal101: PanicAttack: my alt's alt's alt: I think it has more to do with personality type. In the eyes of Myers-Briggs, the typical "most womanly" personality type of ESFP is overtly talkative and superfluous in their speech patterns. Whereas myself, the INTJ woman, considers small talk stupid and pointless.

/other women don't "get" me, especially when my eyes glaze over while they ramble about talk shows and shoes
//men think I'm "cold"
///fark the lot of them

As an ISTJ, I completely agree.

Another INTJ (male) here. I'm pretty sure that fark is filled with people with similar personality types, this opinion being based on over 10 years of lurking the threads. Introverted and extremely intelligent people tend to flock to this site.


i1094.photobucket.com
Explain the politics tab, then.
2013-02-20 04:47:24 PM  
1 votes:

Smelly Pirate Hooker: I'd be sympathetic, but so many of you are also assholes, so I figure you deserve it.


I hate to admit it, but the evidence seems to be on your side.
2013-02-20 04:42:33 PM  
1 votes:

farkingnotworking: YixilTesiphon: WTF is wrong with your wives?

I'm wondering that too.  And why do you stay with them if they annoy you so?


Speaking for myself, for a long time my wife was annoying as hell to talk to. But eventually I came to realize that she and I just communicate differently (and we're pretty average, from what I can tell). If you want to be happy, you have to accept that she communicates like that. Also very important: deep down, she wants and literally *needs* to vent stuff to you. Let her vent, be supportive, and don't take the venting as some kind of personal attack (because it's not). It's all cool.

If you claim to be with a woman who doesn't vent and communicates like a man, odds are they are transsexual. NTTAWWT.
2013-02-20 04:33:27 PM  
1 votes:

Bronzemom: Bull manure.  Look how many words you knuckleheads use to claim women talk too much.
enough said


Uh-oh... someone's feeling a wee bit defensive, aren't they?
2013-02-20 04:33:22 PM  
1 votes:
I can tell you that part of my frustration with my wife's yammering is my job.  I talk all day long, I am in meetings every day, I am on the phone all day.  Sometimes, I want to watch stupid, mindless TV or listen to show tunes and cook without any conversation, even if it is just for an hour.
2013-02-20 04:32:01 PM  
1 votes:

Mighty_Joe: ChrisDe: At times I'm tempted to put a security camera in the kitchen so I could play back what she actually said, and not what she thought she said. But somehow that would backfire on me.

It wouldn't work.   I'm divorced and communicate with the ex via email so that when there is a disagreement, I can cite  previous emails by time and date stamp and point to the exact line where she said something.  Result: "Well, what I MEANT was [something completely different]"


you are not alone. I now only accept emails or texts from my ex, 2 summers ago I told her exactly which two weeks I was taking our boys, she 'got confused' and planned her vacation over those 2 weeks, that was the end of oral communication with her.
2013-02-20 04:31:23 PM  
1 votes:

farkingnotworking: YixilTesiphon: WTF is wrong with your wives?

I'm wondering that too.  And why do you stay with them if they annoy you so?


Probably because we're not spoiled little children who turn our backs on people we love just because they have some annoying habits.
2013-02-20 04:30:53 PM  
1 votes:
A friend of mine asked my advice on dating and I told him to just listen. She'll talk on and on but keep quiet and listen with minimal speaking. If you can do this, just the act of talking will make the woman more comfortable with you and she'll trust you more.

He called me after the date. "Man that listening crap really works....but it was hard not to doze off."
2013-02-20 04:29:09 PM  
1 votes:

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: JNowe: Scientists have discovered that women possess higher levels of a "language protein" in their brains, which could explain why females are so talkative.

Which would be fine, if they had higher levels of content.

There's plenty of content.  What we have here is a comprehension gap.


No. Not really.
2013-02-20 04:27:07 PM  
1 votes:

YixilTesiphon: WTF is wrong with your wives?


I'm wondering that too.  And why do you stay with them if they annoy you so?
2013-02-20 04:26:51 PM  
1 votes:

WhippingBoy: Endive Wombat: Oh my favorite is this:

Her:  "I cannot find X"
Me:  "It is on the kitchen counter, next to the stand mixer, to the left of the yellow cup"  (cannot get more specific than that)
Her:  "I do not see it, I've got to go, I am running late, why do you never help me?"

I walk over to the counter, lift the napkin and show her "X"

Me:  "X is right here, underneath this dirty napkin that YOU did not throw away.  Why did you not look underneath it?"
Her:  "You never said it was UNDERNEATH something"
Me:  "This is the only item(s) on the counter that is next to the stand mixer, to the left of the yellow cup...you know, exactly where I said it was"
Her: ...

Rinse and repeat daily.

My favorite is:

Her: "I can't find X"
Me: "Did you look for it?"
Her: "Fark you! Why are you such a jerk???"


Sorry to break it to you both, this isn't a communications issue.  Your SOs are both drama queens.
2013-02-20 04:23:51 PM  
1 votes:

ChrisDe: At times I'm tempted to put a security camera in the kitchen so I could play back what she actually said, and not what she thought she said. But somehow that would backfire on me.


It wouldn't work.  I'm divorced and communicate with the ex via email so that when there is a disagreement, I can cite  previous emails by time and date stamp and point to the exact line where she said something.  Result: "Well, what I MEANT was [something completely different]"
2013-02-20 04:22:47 PM  
1 votes:

mama2tnt: doczoidberg: Women run their mouths entirely too much, and the noise that comes out almost always is in the form of some pointless complaint.

Take my girlfriend, for instance. Always whining about something or another, or trying to tell me what to do. The other night, she insisted on having a big two hour fight over my leaving a towel on the counter while I was doing the dishes. What a waste of time, and what a horrible way to live -- some idiot complaining at you all day.

I tell you, this will be the last time I''' be foolish enough to throw my freedom away for some woman.

I call b.s. on your entire answer because of that one phrase.


Well, maybe someday you will date an adult male. Not little boys who can't do simple household chores.
2013-02-20 04:20:45 PM  
1 votes:
Oh my favorite is this:

Her:  "I cannot find X"
Me:  "It is on the kitchen counter, next to the stand mixer, to the left of the yellow cup"  (cannot get more specific than that)
Her:  "I do not see it, I've got to go, I am running late, why do you never help me?"

I walk over to the counter, lift the napkin and show her "X"

Me:  "X is right here, underneath this dirty napkin that YOU did not throw away.  Why did you not look underneath it?"
Her:  "You never said it was UNDERNEATH something"
Me:  "This is the only item(s) on the counter that is next to the stand mixer, to the left of the yellow cup...you know, exactly where I said it was"
Her: ...

Rinse and repeat daily.
2013-02-20 04:19:55 PM  
1 votes:

TrixieDelite: I am a corporate receptionist.

I'll come home from work and he'll ask, "How was your day?" and I can turn that one question into a 20-minute monologue with quotes, voice-overs and props. By the time I'm done he knows the name and physical make-up of everyone I encountered between 8am and 5pm, whether or not I like them, and how I think they impacted the emotional success of my day.

My husband is a firefighter.

He'll come home from work and I'll ask, "How was your day?" He'll answer: "House caught on fire. Guy died."


In his defense, not that he needs it, but it's probably not so pleasant to talk about such things. Plus, when I come home, work is over. I don't want to talk about it anymore.
2013-02-20 04:19:42 PM  
1 votes:

PanicAttack: my alt's alt's alt: I think it has more to do with personality type. In the eyes of Myers-Briggs, the typical "most womanly" personality type of ESFP is overtly talkative and superfluous in their speech patterns. Whereas myself, the INTJ woman, considers small talk stupid and pointless.

/other women don't "get" me, especially when my eyes glaze over while they ramble about talk shows and shoes
//men think I'm "cold"
///fark the lot of them

As an ISTJ, I completely agree.


Another INTJ (male) here. I'm pretty sure that fark is filled with people with similar personality types, this opinion being based on over 10 years of lurking the threads. Introverted and extremely intelligent people tend to flock to this site.
I certainly feel like people don't "get" me, and it has caused me to be somewhat of a social outcast my entire life. On the plus side I usually win most arguments.
2013-02-20 04:17:37 PM  
1 votes:
The other thing that drives me nuts is yes or no questions. I can ask one and I'm guaranteed to get a response of at least 20 words, half of which are not relevant to the question. All I want is "Yes" or "no". Why is that so hard?
2013-02-20 04:13:44 PM  
1 votes:
After reading this thread I can only conclude that most of us are married to the same woman.
2013-02-20 04:09:42 PM  
1 votes:

Theaetetus: [www.phdcomics.com image 600x667]

Or, specifically in this article:
1. The average woman talks more than the average man. never farking shuts the fark up
2. Male rat pups cry more than female rat pups, and they have twice as much of the protein FOXP2.
3. In a study of 10 human children, the females had more of the FOXP2 protein than the males.

... which is translated as "we discovered the protein that causes adult women to talk more!" Never farking shut the fark up.


Fixed.
2013-02-20 04:08:42 PM  
1 votes:

WhippingBoy: ChrisDe: At times I'm tempted to put a security camera in the kitchen so I could play back what she actually said, and not what she thought she said. But somehow that would backfire on me.

I've fantasized about doing this as well. But yeah, it would almost certainly backfire.


It's like thermodynamics. You cannot win.
2013-02-20 04:05:14 PM  
1 votes:
"You should do ~n before it gets cold"

"I will."

"No, you wont.  You say you will but you never finish anything."

"Didn't I do A,. B, B and all that other crap you asked about last  month?"

"Only because I nagged you."

"Are you sure?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, cause and effect.  Have you tried NOT nagging me and seeing what happens?"

"You're not the only person who makes decisions in this family!"

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"Why are you so pigheaded?"

"Why do you have to try and convince me that without your foot up my ass, I couldn't tie my own shoes?"

"Whut UVER, you are so immature."

"Yes, that must be it."

"So are you going to do ~n?"

"*sigh*"
2013-02-20 04:04:40 PM  
1 votes:

TheOther: Theaetetus: female apes played an important role not only in the development of tools for crushing nuts

Speech being their tool of choice.


Or withholding sex from the male apes until they got their nuts.
2013-02-20 04:02:31 PM  
1 votes:
My wife also has this unshakable belief that as long as I'm in the house, no matter what room I'm in or what's going on around her, that if she talks, I can somehow  hear her.

This morning: I'm in the downstairs shower, with the radio blasting. I finish, and walk upstairs...

Her: "Well???"
Me: "Well what?"
Her: "Weren't you listening to me???"
Me: ???
2013-02-20 04:02:10 PM  
1 votes:

SmackLT: Just different communication styles. Although I tend to be more wary when she uses a much smaller number of words because it sounds evasive by comparison.

Her: So I ran into Martin the other day.
Me: Oh really?
Her: Yeah.
Me: Where?
Her: Bookstore.
Me: Okay. So did you guys talk?
Her: A little.
Me: Then he left?
Her: No, we got coffee.
Me: Oh.
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: So what did you guys talk about?
Her: Nothing.
Me: ...


She have him a blowjob in the parking lot.

My gf complains that I don't listen to her, which is true, but only because about 5% of what she says is relevant. If I didn't have to listen to two hours of why your mom left your sister's wedding early and how your other sister is now caught in the middle, maybe I'd remember when the 2 minutes you were telling me about what we needed from Home Depot.
2013-02-20 04:01:39 PM  
1 votes:
Do none of you have a wife filter? I don't even hear 80% of what my wife says at times.
2013-02-20 03:58:09 PM  
1 votes:

my alt's alt's alt: I think it has more to do with personality type. In the eyes of Myers-Briggs, the typical "most womanly" personality type of ESFP is overtly talkative and superfluous in their speech patterns. Whereas myself, the INTJ woman, considers small talk stupid and pointless.

/other women don't "get" me, especially when my eyes glaze over while they ramble about talk shows and shoes
//men think I'm "cold"
///fark the lot of them


As an ISTJ, I completely agree.
2013-02-20 03:53:06 PM  
1 votes:

Dr.Zom: Ed Grubermann: My problems is with all the unrelated tangents, background data I don't need or want, and repetition of things I already know.

Men are just as bad at this. They're telling me a story and then:

"You know Dave, right. From Spindy's?"
"Uh, I don't think so..."
"Tall guy?"
"No."
"Wears a hat?"
"Doesn't matter...."
"He was friends with Lindsey?"
"Dude...."


My ready-line for this sort of thing:

Person: "You know Person X from Dept. Z?"
Me: "No, but don't let that stop the conversation."

99% of the time, the 'who' is irrelevant to the point of the content.   Unless it is 'Person X died' then it usually "well, he heard that Dept. Z and Dept. H were going to merge." <---- the real point.
2013-02-20 03:50:34 PM  
1 votes:

Ed Grubermann: My problems is with all the unrelated tangents, background data I don't need or want, and repetition of things I already know.


This. Oh so very much this.

Her: "I've got something very important to tell you"
Me: "OK, what is it?"
15 minutes of constant talking (on her part) pass, and she still hasn't revealed what's so farking important

/I wish I was making this up
2013-02-20 03:46:49 PM  
1 votes:
My wife doesn't talk so much as constantly verbalize whatever happens to be running through her head at any given time.

Emphasis on "constantly".
2013-02-20 03:36:23 PM  
1 votes:

JNowe: Scientists have discovered that women possess higher levels of a "language protein" in their brains, which could explain why females are so talkative.

Which would be fine, if they had higher levels of content.


There's plenty of content.  What we have here is a comprehension gap.
2013-02-20 03:27:23 PM  
1 votes:
I was under the impression that ladies have to verbalize every single goddamn thought that pops into their pretty little heads lest their pretty little heads explode from said thought-storage issues?
I don't need some lab-coat squint to tell me that!
2013-02-20 03:16:57 PM  
1 votes:

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Women do indeed do this. They also "tell" you things without actually doing so, then get angry when you forget.

For example, this past Sunday evening:

Wife: Jen wants to bra shopping. Maybe at Nordys.
Me: Nordys?
Wife: Nordstroms.
Me: That's the same amount of syllables.
Wife: (paraphrasing) They do all the fitting and sizing and what not

Monday afternoon
Wife: I'll head straight home after work.
Me: OK, as opposed to?
Wife: Going bra shopping
Me: didnt realize you had made a plan to that
Wife: i mentioned that yesterday. about going with Jen
Me: I know, you mentioned it, didn't know you had planned to do so today
Wife: well, no matter. it's not happening.
Me: OK


Women know what they're doing.  This is done to keep men off balance and uncertain, giving them the upper hand.
2013-02-20 02:41:16 PM  
1 votes:

Diogenes: Not much verbalization required, but men developed better spatial skills and sense of direction.


The verbalization that was required was also quite brief. "Look, mammoth" tended to lead to more kills than "Mammoth again? We had mammoth yesterday and the day before that, and you know I'm trying to fit into my new, cute wolf pelt for spring, and isn't it a little cold for this time of year? I talked to Thogette yesterday - oh, you know her - from the valley. They're so stuck up, I know, but Thogette said that the other day that her husband gave her a moose antler because he thought it was the winter equinox and they were like 'Excuse me? That is not how we celebrate the passing of the season in this cave.' So anyways, what was I talking about? Oh yeah..."

It's implied that the caveman in the second half of that story later died from a self-inflicted javelin wound to the head.
2013-02-20 01:56:39 PM  
1 votes:

Klippoklondike: Article says women are better at small talk?


No.
 
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