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(Science World Report)   Scientists discover that men are from Mars, women are from planet Oh God Why Are You Still Talking, Sweet Jesus Do You Ever Get to the Point   (scienceworldreport.com) divider line 553
    More: Interesting, get to the point, The Journal of Neuroscience, scientists  
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13467 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Feb 2013 at 3:12 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-20 08:24:57 PM

doglover: [blog.harisaltaf.com image 499x699]


Though I admit that on a bad day I CAN have those thoughts, I also realize that they are ludicrous, stop thinking them, and don't let crazy "feelings" ruin my life. If you are a chick and you find yourself going down some weird crazy thought pathway like that then I suggest you do the following:

1. STOP
2. Think if there is a reason that you are feeling that way. Maybe you are lonely. Maybe you are bored. Maybe you want to talk more or do something fun with your SO but you don't know how and are expecting him to read your thoughts and start the conversation for you.
3. Fix the problem. If you want to *talk* realize that dudes don't like talking about what we like talking about all the time. So talk about something you both care about, I know that my dude will ALWAYS talk about baseball, so I start a conversation about baseball.
4. Sometimes a woman sees sitting and watching tv time together as TALKING TIME and a man sees it as WATCHING TV TIME. As a female, I usually say "hey want to go on a walk after X show is over?" because I have found that we actually pay attention to each other on a walk and he gets quiet tv time and I get talking time.

Men: Some women might not realize how you feel about chit chat. I'm not saying you need to indulge her constant need for talking or attention, but do give her SOME one on one talking time. Deal? Alternately, when your mom calls and wants to chit chat about pointless things, hand the phone to your wife! (my hub's newest trick)
 
2013-02-20 08:26:06 PM

CtrlAltDestroy: Seeing what you guys have to say on this topic (so far. still reading) I can't help but be reminded of something. I see lots of people and hear them complain about their significant other.

He can't stand when she opens her mouth to talk. She thinks that he just ignores her when the TV is on. He can't stand it when she drags him shopping. She hates that he has no interest in her favorite hobbies. Etc, etc.

Why are these people together? Why? Are their relationships so shallow that the part where two people connect as human beings, and not just physically, not part of the equation?

I can't help but look at these people who seem to be connected only by their nether regions and feel sorry for them. I've had a pair of married guys laugh in my face at the idea that a third guy should discuss a financial decision with his wife, as her initial idea really wasn't very good. After they calmed down from the laughing one said, "you just don't understand the way it works." The way what works? Is the notion that you should be able to talk to your spouse about a serious topic so foreign to people?

I would never want to be in a relationship with, or married to, someone who I thought was vapid and annoying. I couldn't see myself being with someone who I didn't want to spend lots and lots of time with for every reason. Good conversation, overlapping hobbies, sense of humor, etc. I couldn't see myself seriously being with someone who I didn't see as my best friend.

/That's probably why I'm single.
//That and being ugly less than attractive.


I don't think that my wife is vapid or stupid or incompetent. It's not even that I dislike talking to her. It's that her indecisiveness drives me nuts (especially since if I'm indecisive she gets frustrated with me) and the fact that we communicate very differently means that I don't catch the things that she wants, and then it's my fault for not understanding. And not just my fault, but a sign that I don't respect her or care what she has to say. That's the hard part. Would be a lot easier if I didn't love her, because then it would be true that I don't care. But I do care, we just have some issues in how we talk and how she interprets things.
 
2013-02-20 08:30:36 PM

SuperTramp: fredklein: If she wants "comfort and reassurance", maybe she should ask for ... wait for it... comfort and reassurance??

SuperTramp:

She: Honey, I really need some comfort and reassurance!
He: About what?

and there you go.

fredklein ...And then she tells me what she needs comfort and reassurance about.

Ah, so you need a lead-in.
You know, this could work......but you''ll still get the 40-minute story with all the tangents....


She doesn't need to give me the whole story, Just the part she needs reassurance about.

"So, I was at work, and Joe, you remember Joe, he's the one who keeps screwing up, and...blah...blah...blah... so I told her that I was busy, but I wasn't, but she's a biatch anyway...blah...blah...blah... played right into his hands, and I was so embarrassed...blah...blah...blah...several times, but I thought she was joking...blah...blah...blah...So I don't know what to do...blah...blah...blah..."

becomes:

"I need reassurance. I called my coworker a biatch because she was acting like one. Was that okay?"
"Hunny, it's okay. "

There. Done. Over. Fin.
 
2013-02-20 08:31:28 PM

PsiChick: Fark Rye For Many Whores: PsiChick: Fark Rye For Many Whores: PsiChick: ...Sorry? Are you saying people inherit language despite being adopted?

You said word count, and (that can mean a few things) anything involving word count is very heritable.

Not in the sense we usually use that phrase, no. It's not genetically based; you 'inherit' it through mimickry. Nature, not nurture.

No.

Citation?


It's very complicated and I think PsiChick posts show that she's more right than she's being given credit for. I think actually, she is being misunderstood because she has a good grasp on complex subjects. Don't automatically dismiss someone before even really understanding what they're saying.

Just to see how mindbogglingly complicated these types of genetic-environment combo phenomenon could be, see my post above....

(for any of you lazies):

torusXL: I want to reiterate the importance of not assuming cause and effect. Obvious evidence strongly indicates that there is likely no cause and effect relationship between quantity of speech and FOXP2:

The FOXP2 gene is located on chromosome 7, which is NOT a sex chromosome. From a Mendelian-only perspective (assuming completely random hookups), men and women should have similar rates of FOXP2 dominance. Now, higher dominance of FOXP2 in one gender over the other throughout the population could still be possible, but not due to any direct effect from being a specific gender. Rather, as all the woes in this thread show, FOXP2 might have an effect on who bangs who because it could affect attractiveness by affecting, say, social interactions.

By the shiatty article that mentioned the study, it seems that females of the observed animals used more vocalizations and had a correlation with higher FOXP2 expression, as well as the correlation that human girls have more FOXP2.

Given the female correlation with FOXP2 and the fact that FOXP2 has equal chance to pass to the child during recombination (ignoring factors like FOXP2's affect on attractiveness of the phenotype), I would be willing to bet that many other genes are located on the X chromosome that also affect speech. This might be related to such known facts as higher rates of some language disorders in boys, like dyslexia (boys don't get that backup X chromosome).

So if you held a gun to my head and made me jump to a conclusion, I would say that FOXP2 probably indirectly affects the expression of other genes which more directly affect speech and/or vocalizations. I'd also jump to a conclusion that FOXP2 is an evolutionary mammal relic which interacts with female genes (or maybe something on the male Y chromosome suppresses FOXP2) so that the females would use more vocalizations to comfort, communicate, etc, baby offspring.

 
2013-02-20 08:35:26 PM

Oerath: I don't think that my wife is vapid or stupid or incompetent. It's not even that I dislike talking to her. It's that her indecisiveness drives me nuts (especially since if I'm indecisive she gets frustrated with me) and the fact that we communicate very differently means that I don't catch the things that she wants, and then it's my fault for not understanding. And not just my fault, but a sign that I don't respect her or care what she has to say. That's the hard part. Would be a lot easier if I didn't love her, because then it would be true that I don't care. But I do care, we just have some issues in how we talk and how she interprets things.


I get that. I've been there. That's not really what I was talking about, though.
 
2013-02-20 08:46:32 PM
If shiat rolls downhill, why aren't women taller than men?
 
2013-02-20 08:48:57 PM

sethen320: My wife is horrible at communicating.  Incomplete thoughts, wrong words used, etc...

We just had a conversation about it the other day.  She has a bad habit of doing stuff like not actually pointing at things when asking for help retrieving something or whatnot.  She will "point" by looking at the object and then say "can you hand me that".  This typically leads to me or some other poor soul desperately trying to guess what "that" may be while being polite about it.  Meanwhile she gets more and more frustrated.  But dare ask "what does that mean" and she will have some roundabout reason as to why you should have known what she was wanting because she mentioned it in a conversation which happened anywhere from 15 minutes to two days ago.  And she will drone on about it for at least 5 minutes.

I used to think that it was reserved just for me but I've watched her go through this with others.  I tell her to take time, expend the syllables, and just explain what she wants.  The funny part is how frustrated she gets with everyone.  "Nobody ever listens to me!".  I told her we are listening, she just sucks at talking.


I had an outstanding example of this recently. GF is in a tizzy, moving here, cleaning this and generally butterflying around the apartment so I cannot 'do' anything except offer to help. I offer to help.

Me: Can I help?
Her: Uhhh.... uh..... put that in the closet. *Vague gesturing*
Me: Can you clarify please?
Her: *condescending voice* The extension cord, please put it in the closet.
Me: Ok, we have three closets, which one?
Her: The.....WHY would you put that in the closet in our room? That doesn't make any sense.
Me: Well I don't know why we would store an extension cord in any closet, I'm trying to help. Which closet please?
Her: Nevermind! I'll do it!


What follows is a two hour conversation on communication, presumption and body language. Her cleaning started because she saw me look at the living room and say 'We need to get this place ready for our houseguest', who was coming in a week. What I had actually been doing was responding to her friend who had asked me 'what are you doing with the toilet paper' I had in my hands. So while I was simply holding TP and replying to her friend, she took it as some sort of disastrous meta-comment on our apartment and by extension our relationship.  Christ.
 
2013-02-20 08:50:12 PM
Can't believe I've read through 300+ comments (totally enjoying it, BTW) and all I've got to offer is this, from High Fidelity:

"what really matters is what you like, not what you are like... Books, records, films - these things matter. Call me shallow but it's the farkin' truth "

Great thread.
 
2013-02-20 08:51:11 PM

my alt's alt's alt: I think it has more to do with personality type. In the eyes of Myers-Briggs, the typical "most womanly" personality type of ESFP is overtly talkative and superfluous in their speech patterns. Whereas myself, the INTJ woman, considers small talk stupid and pointless.

/other women don't "get" me, especially when my eyes glaze over while they ramble about talk shows and shoes
//men think I'm "cold"
///fark the lot of them


Bisexuality does have its advantages.
 
2013-02-20 08:52:32 PM
I love these threads so much.  This is by no means a bookmark for later reading when I am less drunk.
 
2013-02-20 08:53:52 PM
How Mrs. PCoC tells a story: "So today at lunch, Susie and Jean and I went shopping over at that little place off Duke street behind that one restaurant and she found this hat that was light blue with a dark blue ribbon on it, sort of like mine, only with thicker ribbon, and it was marked down 20% and she had a gift certificate but when she went to check out, the girl said she couldn't use the certificate with the mark down and Susie said she was pretty sure she could, but the lady kept saying no, it was totally rude, can you believe that, I mean I can't believe any body could be so rude and neither could Susie, but finally she was able to get a hold of a manager, and she got the full discount and we just barely got back to the office in time after that. I mean can you believe how rude that lady was?"

How I tell the same story: "Susie bought a hat."

/It's OK; love that woman dearly.
 
2013-02-20 08:54:01 PM
dilbert.com
dilbert.com
 
2013-02-20 08:57:09 PM

crabsno termites: If shiat rolls downhill, why aren't women taller than men?


I dunno, I've had a good time with women taller than me. Then again some of them have been so much shorter you'd think I special ordered them as "Easy Blowjob Height" from the factory.
 
2013-02-20 08:57:24 PM

fredklein: ciberido: fredklein: Telling someone you're unhappy makes you... not unhappy? Does telling someone you ARE happy make you sad??

Yes, Mr. Spock, I understand that human emotions confuse you.  If only you were Data and not Spock, maybe I could just install a chip or something.

Oh, I have emotions. But when I'm sad, I don't talk about it. Because talking about it doesn't help- it just dredges up more stuff to be unhappy about. If I'm sad, I figure out WHY, and fix the problem.


Yup

Repeating your problem to various people without doing anything about it only creates long term issues in exchange for short term consolation.
 
2013-02-20 09:02:09 PM

ciberido: Yanks_RSJ: ciberido: Yes, but if you really want to assign blame, it's as much the man's fault for assuming without asking that the woman wanted a solution as it is her fault for not explicitly telling the man that she didn't want one.  Essentially, they're equally at fault, her for assuming he'd operate by "the women's rules" and him for assuming she'd operate by "the men's rules."

Well that's true, until you realize that talking about a problem without seeking a solution is a galactic waste of time and pointless beyond belief.  This is particularly true when the solution is as simple as "have you considered talking to ______ and saying everything you just told me?"

The fact that you are incapable of grasping the point to an action does not mean that action is pointless.


I am perfectly capable of grasping what you think is the point, but I'm fine being on the side of the discussion that seeks to do more than garner sympathy hugs.
 
2013-02-20 09:02:54 PM

FrancoFile: lordluzr: Two hundred comments in two hours.... Fark is a woman.

OMG. Thread over!


Now you know who's always lurking.
 
2013-02-20 09:03:50 PM

torusXL: The FOXP2 gene is located on chromosome 7, which is NOT a sex chromosome.


For another example, color blindness is (usually) on the X chromosome(s), which IS a sex chromosome.

/see how that doesn't make sense
//I think Y is more reliably filled with gender traits but I'm not even sure
 
2013-02-20 09:07:57 PM

WhippingBoy: There's three pieces of advice that I give to young guys in order to prepare them for marriage:
1. Learn to drink (not binge-drink, but sanity-drink)
2. Convert you next paycheque to $100 bills. Light a bonfire. Slowly throw each bill into the fire and watch it burn
3. On a nightly basis, watch to most boring TV channel your provider offers (local council meeting, etc). Attempt to maintain your interest and keep eye contact with the TV. Start with 10 minutes, and work your way up to an hour


Honestly I think there are some women who have a clue. And there are some that are definitely crazy and hateful. But in between there are normal women who men assume are crazy because they don't understand them, and then the men get frustrated with the woman's weird behavior and it gets worse and worse.

I know a guy who is in the relationship you describe. Now they have a baby and all she does is shame him like "Why are you on Facebook and not reading to our daughter", "I wish I could be a stay at home mom." (he has 2 jobs and he inherited the house they live in), "You better do something like *this* when you FINALLY propose to me!!" (and those are the things she says to him where everyone can read it, i can't imagine the crazy shiat she says when they are alone). I have known this girl for a long time and she has always had extremely low self esteem- she will do anything to bring someone else down. I think she needs counseling or something (seriously.) but it sucks to be him. That said, not all women are like that so if you notice the warning signs then you should seriously act.
 
2013-02-20 09:09:26 PM

CtrlAltDestroy: Seeing what you guys have to say on this topic (so far. still reading) I can't help but be reminded of something. I see lots of people and hear them complain about their significant other.

He can't stand when she opens her mouth to talk. She thinks that he just ignores her when the TV is on. He can't stand it when she drags him shopping. She hates that he has no interest in her favorite hobbies. Etc, etc.

Why are these people together? Why? Are their relationships so shallow that the part where two people connect as human beings, and not just physically, not part of the equation?

I can't help but look at these people who seem to be connected only by their nether regions and feel sorry for them. I've had a pair of married guys laugh in my face at the idea that a third guy should discuss a financial decision with his wife, as her initial idea really wasn't very good. After they calmed down from the laughing one said, "you just don't understand the way it works." The way what works? Is the notion that you should be able to talk to your spouse about a serious topic so foreign to people?

I would never want to be in a relationship with, or married to, someone who I thought was vapid and annoying. I couldn't see myself being with someone who I didn't want to spend lots and lots of time with for every reason. Good conversation, overlapping hobbies, sense of humor, etc. I couldn't see myself seriously being with someone who I didn't see as my best friend.

/That's probably why I'm single.
//That and being ugly less than attractive.


A lot of people have replied to you with good answers, but I'll give you one more to chew on.

By the time you've been married and/or living together for 5 years or so, you should have worked out the major issues: money religion kids politics. Note that you don't have to agree on anything but money - everything else is negotiable, as long as you treat your partner's views with respect.

So what does that leave you to fight about?

If the big stuff is worked out, it really only leaves the petty stuff. The small annoyances, the little things that bother you but you don't bother to fight about.

Those annoyances build up. Because it's not worth instigating a nuclear war over who left the damn bedroom light on again. You just shut it off, and move on wih your day.

It still drives you crazy, though, so us old married folk have to come to fark and share mutual empathy, kindness, and anger in equal doses.

BTW, if you think it's impossible to get severely, murderously annoyed with someone you love, you will be forever alone. Being in love is quite different than picking up someone's dirty socks off the living room floor every farking day of your life. People have different living habits, and some of those will always grate against each other
 
2013-02-20 09:11:44 PM

Elegy: BTW, if you think it's impossible to get severely, murderously annoyed with someone you love, you will be forever alone. Being in love is quite different than picking up someone's dirty socks off the living room floor every farking day of your life. People have different living habits, and some of those will always grate against each other


QFT. Very wise words.
 
2013-02-20 09:11:51 PM
dilbert.com

dilbert.com
 
2013-02-20 09:21:08 PM

Smelly Pirate Hooker: It's amusing that so many of you are married to dipshiats who won't shut up. I'd be sympathetic, but so many of you are also assholes, so I figure you deserve it.


Honey? Is that you?
I thought I asked you nicely to stay off the boards and stop lurking!
Now come to bed!
 
2013-02-20 09:24:08 PM
Let me just add this...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoqpjOZxf2M

A lot of this thread is spot on, good luck folks!
 
2013-02-20 09:26:43 PM
dilbert.com

dilbert.com

dilbert.com
 
2013-02-20 09:27:05 PM
 
2013-02-20 09:27:57 PM

Elegy: A lot of people have replied to you with good answers, but I'll give you one more to chew on.


Again, that's not what I'm talking about. I've seen this in young people with sub-one-year relationships. It's not years of build up. It's having no interest other than the physical with that person and constantly complaining about them while staying as a "couple".

Elegy: BTW, if you think it's impossible to get severely, murderously annoyed with someone you love, you will be forever alone. Being in love is quite different than picking up someone's dirty socks off the living room floor every farking day of your life. People have different living habits, and some of those will always grate against each other


Been there, done that. Over the 7 years we had our fights. We got on each other's nerves. But we were also each other's best friends. Her most annoy habit was that she would intentionally ignore a problem in the hopes that it would go away on it's own because she hated doing things that she didn't want to and didn't want to have to deal with uncomfortable situations. Trust me, I know.

/In the end, though, she ripped out my heart in a really callous way.
//There is no love left.
 
2013-02-20 09:33:25 PM

Champion of the Sun: You're likely single because you think people can't love each other when they're not 100% compatible in every aspect of their life.


BZZT. 7 year relationship, lived together for years, almost got married, wasn't 100% compatible. Try again
 
2013-02-20 09:42:54 PM

CtrlAltDestroy: Again, that's not what I'm talking about. I've seen this in young people with sub-one-year relationships. It's not years of build up. It's having no interest other than the physical with that person and constantly complaining about them while staying as a "couple".


Ah. I think you threw me off by leading in with the "I'm never getting married like you people" part. All of the married people here share amusing stories about mild annoyances that we all relate too, but generally don't denigrate their SO out of hand.

I will agree, however, that there are significant number of posters here that I think "why in the hell did you get married" every time I read their posts. Those are the people that are divorced, or going through a divorce, generally.

The lesson here is not "don't get married" but "don't get a divorce."

Been there, done that. Over the 7 years we had our fights. We got on each other's nerves. But we were also each other's best friends. Her most annoy habit was that she would intentionally ignore a problem in the hopes that it would go away on it's own because she hated doing things that she didn't want to and didn't want to have to deal with uncomfortable situations. Trust me, I know.

/In the end, though, she ripped out my heart in a really callous way.
//There is no love left.


i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-20 09:45:28 PM
So much This in the thread...

When I ask "how was your day", I don't need a play by play of every single moment from the second she went out the door. And it's not limited to just real life...

My wife was watching a TV show when I entered the room. I start watching with her. "Who's that character?" leads to a very detailed description of every plot line, interaction and quote from the character since the series began six years ago. I just require enough information to know what's happening on the screen right at that moment.

One day we were "fortunately" watching Baywatch. I don't know why. I asked her who one of the women were, and before she could start with season one, scene one, I told her "Just tell me who she is. I don't need the history. Is she a long lost sister?"

"No, that's a former girlfriend."

"Great. Thanks. That's all I needed to know."

I said "fortunately" as from that day forward, when I want the quick answer, I tell her to give me "the Baywatch version."
 
2013-02-20 09:46:35 PM

CtrlAltDestroy: /In the end, though, she ripped out my heart in a really callous way.


She ran away with Paul Bunion?
 
2013-02-20 09:51:05 PM
i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-02-20 09:53:04 PM
The soon to be Mrs Crazy has actually flat out told me that when she complains about a problem that isn't "the toilet is overflowing" or "there's a cockroach" or "the stove is on fire", etc, she doesn't want a solution. Apparently reliving problems while she talks about them is fun or something.
 
2013-02-20 09:54:28 PM

Acharne: sethen320: My wife is horrible at communicating.  Incomplete thoughts, wrong words used, etc...

We just had a conversation about it the other day.  She has a bad habit of doing stuff like not actually pointing at things when asking for help retrieving something or whatnot.  She will "point" by looking at the object and then say "can you hand me that".  This typically leads to me or some other poor soul desperately trying to guess what "that" may be while being polite about it.  Meanwhile she gets more and more frustrated.  But dare ask "what does that mean" and she will have some roundabout reason as to why you should have known what she was wanting because she mentioned it in a conversation which happened anywhere from 15 minutes to two days ago.  And she will drone on about it for at least 5 minutes.

I used to think that it was reserved just for me but I've watched her go through this with others.  I tell her to take time, expend the syllables, and just explain what she wants.  The funny part is how frustrated she gets with everyone.  "Nobody ever listens to me!".  I told her we are listening, she just sucks at talking.

I had an outstanding example of this recently. GF is in a tizzy, moving here, cleaning this and generally butterflying around the apartment so I cannot 'do' anything except offer to help. I offer to help.

Me: Can I help?
Her: Uhhh.... uh..... put that in the closet. *Vague gesturing*
Me: Can you clarify please?
Her: *condescending voice* The extension cord, please put it in the closet.
Me: Ok, we have three closets, which one?
Her: The.....WHY would you put that in the closet in our room? That doesn't make any sense.
Me: Well I don't know why we would store an extension cord in any closet, I'm trying to help. Which closet please?
Her: Nevermind! I'll do it!


What follows is a two hour conversation on communication, presumption and body language. Her cleaning started because she saw me look at the living room and say 'We need to get this place ready for our houseguest', who was coming in a week. What I had actually been doing was responding to her friend who had asked me 'what are you doing with the toilet paper' I had in my hands. So while I was simply holding TP and replying to her friend, she took it as some sort of disastrous meta-comment on our apartment and by extension our relationship.  Christ.


Awesome.
 
2013-02-20 10:00:01 PM
Big shocker. Woman talk more than men. Also, water proved to be wet, sky blue. Stay tune for the dog bites man report.

/still no cure for cancer
 
2013-02-20 10:02:13 PM

Elegy: Ah. I think you threw me off by leading in with the "I'm never getting married like you people" part. All of the married people here share amusing stories about mild annoyances that we all relate too, but generally don't denigrate their SO out of hand.


Ah. I typed that up fresh off of a post work cat nap, so it might not have been the clearest. What I meant to lead with is that seeing the posts here made my mind wander to people that I know personally and the things that I've witnessed first hand.

Then again, I'm the kind of person whose mind is always active so I have way too much time to think about way too much over the course of the day. Lately that kind of thing has been on my mind. Not because of Valentine's day, though.

And thanks, bro. We had our fights over the years but we were also always there to have the other's back. We complimented each other as people and connected like we've never done with anyone else. Her racist, manipulative mother finally gave up trying to separate us because she saw how strong we were together. Her father was in awe in general and her ice-hearted biatch of a sister even warmed up to me. We outlasted every relationship that we saw our friends go through, including a marriage.

The break up was out of nowhere. It blindsided me and farked me up good. I learned the meaning of a lot of phrases over the years with her. In the end the final lesson was the meaning of "emotionally numb".

I'm much much better today, 2 years later, and spent the last year rebuilding and improving. New job, new hobbies, lost weight, etc. I'd be open to another relationship, but the kinda girls who would be into guys like me are rarer than rational discussions in the politics tab.
 
2013-02-20 10:03:11 PM

Jument: Ed Grubermann: fredklein: ciberido: She didn't ask you for advice. She told you she had a problem, because she wanted a shoulder to cry on.

Crying on a shoulder doesn't solve the problem. (unless the problem is a dry shoulder). Solving the problem solves the problem.

She doesn't want the problem solved.

This should be the first thing any male human being is ever taught. When a woman tells you she has a problem, you need to very carefully consider whether or not she wants you to fix it before you open your trap. Most of the time, offering a rational solution will get you nothing but pain. Even if she says "the toilet is backed up, would you fix it?" you should spend a few seconds considering your response, just in case.


Screw that.

Teach broads to stick a sammich in their yammer box and hit then gym when they feel chatty. No pilates crap neither. Toss some medicine balls around and stuff like that. Really work it off.

Then women's magazines will read thusly:

Dear Agony Aunt,
My man won't shut up. He always wants to talk about his feelings. Why don't men ever get to the point!? Also did you see the new lambo? Sweet, huh?


Yammering is not based on sex, but lifestyle and social expectations. Women only blabber with no point because they're not chastised for it by society. Men are.

Men who aren't shut up? They yammer, too. Women who're told to spit it out or shut it? They talk like men. It's all down to nurture.
 
2013-02-20 10:07:21 PM

lantawa: CtrlAltDestroy: /In the end, though, she ripped out my heart in a really callous way.

She ran away with Paul Bunion?


Ha. It was actually a 10-years-older, uneducated, unemployed, married guy.

/Last that I knew, when I left that forsaken state and returned "home", they were still running around behind his wife's back when the wife was at work.
//They made sure to get him home before his wife returned from work so she wouldn't know that he was gone all day with someone else.
 
2013-02-20 10:11:53 PM

I May Be Crazy But...: The soon to be Mrs Crazy has actually flat out told me that when she complains about a problem that isn't "the toilet is overflowing" or "there's a cockroach" or "the stove is on fire", etc, she doesn't want a solution. Apparently reliving problems while she talks about them is fun or something.


My SO and I have had the same conversation. For me it is just a way to get things off my chest. I find myself angry or sad, I type my problems (which in reality are stupid things that i have little control over and don't really matter), I erase them. Other times I'm feeling overwhelmed so I just write a neat list of things I need to do and then I feel calm. Sometimes I think women are feeling lonely so they just want pointless chatter. To women these are all purposeful conversations; to men they are evidence that women are clearly insane.

I mean sometimes my SO even wants to tell me his problems.
 
2013-02-20 10:14:48 PM
ITT - Men complaining about why they are unhappy in relationships with women.

Solution: Legalization of prostitution.
 
2013-02-20 10:18:29 PM
this article and thread must be from the "if I tell myself something enough times, it must be true"...
 
2013-02-20 10:23:38 PM

CtrlAltDestroy: lantawa: CtrlAltDestroy: /In the end, though, she ripped out my heart in a really callous way.

She ran away with Paul Bunion?

Ha. It was actually a 10-years-older, uneducated, unemployed, married guy.

/Last that I knew, when I left that forsaken state and returned "home", they were still running around behind his wife's back when the wife was at work.
//They made sure to get him home before his wife returned from work so she wouldn't know that he was gone all day with someone else.


I hope that good things happen for and to you in the future. Regarding personal prospects, well, there are approx 7 billion people on the planet. Plenty of possibilities that good people await you in your future, chatty or otherwise.
 
2013-02-20 10:24:52 PM

spidermilk: I May Be Crazy But...: The soon to be Mrs Crazy has actually flat out told me that when she complains about a problem that isn't "the toilet is overflowing" or "there's a cockroach" or "the stove is on fire", etc, she doesn't want a solution. Apparently reliving problems while she talks about them is fun or something.

My SO and I have had the same conversation. For me it is just a way to get things off my chest. I find myself angry or sad, I type my problems (which in reality are stupid things that i have little control over and don't really matter), I erase them. Other times I'm feeling overwhelmed so I just write a neat list of things I need to do and then I feel calm. Sometimes I think women are feeling lonely so they just want pointless chatter. To women these are all purposeful conversations; to men they are evidence that women are clearly insane.

I mean sometimes my SO even wants to tell me his problems.


Yeah, for us it went roughly:

Me: "That's tough. I have no idea how to make it better."
Her: "Oh, I didn't expect you to."
Me, mind blown: "What?"
And now she explains.

It still baffles me, though, when we'll be walking to the car from our front door and she complains she's cold. When I suggest that I could go get her a jacket or sweater, she tells me she feels much better now that she's said something.
 
2013-02-20 10:27:31 PM

lantawa: I hope that good things happen for and to you in the future. Regarding personal prospects, well, there are approx 7 billion people on the planet. Plenty of possibilities that good people await you in your future, chatty or otherwise.


Thanks, man.
 
2013-02-20 10:36:47 PM

Theaetetus: reveal101: PanicAttack: my alt's alt's alt: I think it has more to do with personality type. In the eyes of Myers-Briggs, the typical "most womanly" personality type of ESFP is overtly talkative and superfluous in their speech patterns. Whereas myself, the INTJ woman, considers small talk stupid and pointless.

/other women don't "get" me, especially when my eyes glaze over while they ramble about talk shows and shoes
//men think I'm "cold"
///fark the lot of them

As an ISTJ, I completely agree.

Another INTJ (male) here. I'm pretty sure that fark is filled with people with similar personality types, this opinion being based on over 10 years of lurking the threads. Introverted and extremely intelligent people tend to flock to this site.

[i1094.photobucket.com image 300x250]
Explain the politics tab, then.


Ha. I have winced my way through enough of those threads to genuinely appreciate that sentiment.  To be fair, you obviously can't hold us lurkers of the fark flock culpable.
 
2013-02-20 10:41:14 PM
Sigh... Everybody says I communicate like a woman. I know it's true.

Maybe I could make a career as an interpreter for men.
 
2013-02-20 10:44:37 PM

PanicAttack: my alt's alt's alt: I think it has more to do with personality type. In the eyes of Myers-Briggs, the typical "most womanly" personality type of ESFP is overtly talkative and superfluous in their speech patterns. Whereas myself, the INTJ woman, considers small talk stupid and pointless.

/other women don't "get" me, especially when my eyes glaze over while they ramble about talk shows and shoes
//men think I'm "cold"
///fark the lot of them

As an ISTJ, I completely agree.


I'm ISTJ too! :)
 
2013-02-20 11:06:05 PM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: PsiChick: Citation?

http://www.gifted.uconn.edu/siegle/research/Correlation/Intelligence .p df
p 85, second paragraph


"A high heritability does not mean that the environment has no impact on the development of a trait, or that
learning is not involved. Vocabulary size, for example, is
very substantially heritable (and highly correlated with
general psychometric intelligence) although every word
in an individual's vocabulary is learned. In a society in
which plenty of words are available in everyone's environment-especially for individuals who are motivated
to seek them out-the number of words that individuals
actually learn depends to a considerable extent on their
genetic predispositions."

Okay, let's analyze this. First, the statement that plenty of words are available in everyone's environment is total bullshiat--as two minutes on Google can reveal. Kids who grow up poor don't learn as many words. Second, this paragraph does  not differentiate between a case of genetic inheritance versus what I'm talking about, learned inheritance, which research  does support. If your parents have a huge vocabulary, you are most likely to have a huge vocabulary, even if you're not genetically related to them, which can be shown even through this example; poverty isn't genetic, but it has a hell of an influence.
 
2013-02-20 11:08:02 PM

vegaswench: I am going to teach a class. "How To Respond When Someone At Work Asks You How You Are 101."

Only accetable answer: "Fine, how are you?"

All other responses get an F.



So in your office, the conversation would go like this:

Jim: How are you?
Bob: Fine, how are you?
Jim: Fine, how are you?
Bob: Fine, how are you?
Jim: Fine, how are you?
Bob: Fine, how are you?
Jim: Fine, how are you?
Bob: Fine, how are you?
Jim: Fine, how are you?
Bob: Fine, how are you?
Jim: Fine, how are you?
Bob: Fine, how are you?
Jim: Fine, how are you?
 
2013-02-20 11:13:38 PM

Yanks_RSJ: Common refrain, by me:

"Honey, can we please jump ahead to the part where you tell me the specific details about what we have to attend?"

Then I get to eat dinner by myself, which is allegedly a punishment.


I tried getting an ex to follow newspaper story structure because she kept "burying the lead" with useless details. Did not work. Funny thing is she wouldn't say a damn thing when there were problems in our relationship, so when she decided to tell me it was over, it came completely out of the blue.
 
2013-02-20 11:19:22 PM
When a some random chick is just blabbering away at me I'm usually too busy undressing her with my mind to respond to everything she has said. Once you do this couple times its gets boring and then I find myself combining the random chicks in my mind in massive orgies.
 
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