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(Science World Report)   Scientists discover that men are from Mars, women are from planet Oh God Why Are You Still Talking, Sweet Jesus Do You Ever Get to the Point   (scienceworldreport.com) divider line 553
    More: Interesting, get to the point, The Journal of Neuroscience, scientists  
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13470 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Feb 2013 at 3:12 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-20 03:58:30 PM
If you are a man, imagine all the time, thought and energy you put into dreaming about sex and scheming to get sex. Assume women have about the same energy levels and that they have practically no sex drive. All that energy has to go somewhere right?
 
2013-02-20 03:58:41 PM

Dirtybird971: My GF likes to have conversations in her head which (apparently) she thinks I can hear (and sometimes DAYS before) and then when I don't know what the topic is I'm the one not listening.

Or
she'll start talking about something totally unrelated to the previous, though still ongoing to me, conversation. So now when I hear about that whore talking smack about other wimen in the office I'm thinking her daughter is a whore and cursing everyone out.


Are you dating my wife?
 
2013-02-20 03:59:16 PM
Wake me when they have a pill to turn the biatch off.
 
2013-02-20 03:59:28 PM

hitlersbrain: If you are a man, imagine all the time, thought and energy you put into dreaming about sex and scheming to get sex. Assume women have about the same energy levels and that they have practically no sex drive. All that energy has to go somewhere right?


Imagine if you could harness all of that energy. The power of 1000 suns...
 
2013-02-20 03:59:56 PM

Theaetetus: males in many foraging societies collect honey


That's suicide.
 
2013-02-20 04:00:10 PM
Gender war thread.
 
2013-02-20 04:01:08 PM

YixilTesiphon: WTF is wrong with your wives?


lol, seriously. My wife just asks me to tell her something interesting in order to start a conversation about some current event, or perhaps something that happened during my day. Apparently these Farkers are getting their wives from the bimbo store...
 
2013-02-20 04:01:17 PM

hitlersbrain: If you are a man, imagine all the time, thought and energy you put into dreaming about sex and scheming to get sex. Assume women have about the same energy levels and that they have practically no sex drive. All that energy has to go somewhere right?


Would explain how stores that are dedicated entirely to scrapbooking stay in business.
 
2013-02-20 04:01:21 PM
I've honed the skill of ignoring what I don't want to hear by having the most insane woman co-worker.  Albeit, if there is a random dude that starts rambling at me;  you're also on the nod and smile regime.

/It helps being drunk a lot too.
 
2013-02-20 04:01:24 PM
I'm not sure I believe the "women talk more than men" research that was part of the premise here. [link]

It is shown that the widely held belief that women talk more than men is unsupported in the literature. Of the studies reviewed that examined mixed-sex interaction, the majority found either that men talked more than women, or that there was no difference between men and women in amount of talk.
 
2013-02-20 04:01:37 PM

doczoidberg: Women run their mouths entirely too much, and the noise that comes out almost always is in the form of some pointless complaint.

Take my girlfriend, for instance. Always whining about something or another, or trying to tell me what to do. The other night, she insisted on having a big two hour fight over my leaving a towel on the counter while I was doing the dishes. What a waste of time, and what a horrible way to live -- some idiot complaining at you all day.

I tell you, this will be the last time I''' be foolish enough to throw my freedom away for some woman.


I call b.s. on your entire answer because of that one phrase.
 
2013-02-20 04:01:39 PM
Do none of you have a wife filter? I don't even hear 80% of what my wife says at times.
 
2013-02-20 04:02:10 PM

SmackLT: Just different communication styles. Although I tend to be more wary when she uses a much smaller number of words because it sounds evasive by comparison.

Her: So I ran into Martin the other day.
Me: Oh really?
Her: Yeah.
Me: Where?
Her: Bookstore.
Me: Okay. So did you guys talk?
Her: A little.
Me: Then he left?
Her: No, we got coffee.
Me: Oh.
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: So what did you guys talk about?
Her: Nothing.
Me: ...


She have him a blowjob in the parking lot.

My gf complains that I don't listen to her, which is true, but only because about 5% of what she says is relevant. If I didn't have to listen to two hours of why your mom left your sister's wedding early and how your other sister is now caught in the middle, maybe I'd remember when the 2 minutes you were telling me about what we needed from Home Depot.
 
2013-02-20 04:02:31 PM
My wife also has this unshakable belief that as long as I'm in the house, no matter what room I'm in or what's going on around her, that if she talks, I can somehow  hear her.

This morning: I'm in the downstairs shower, with the radio blasting. I finish, and walk upstairs...

Her: "Well???"
Me: "Well what?"
Her: "Weren't you listening to me???"
Me: ???
 
2013-02-20 04:02:40 PM
Sister and mother explain more than necessary, usually making full topic arcs for the descriptions... It's annoying and wastes time (bonus annoyance points if time is kinda slim)

/yet to have a girlfriend do as such, our at least until it's blatantly obvious
//also, part if this story is partly why I choose my username as such
 
2013-02-20 04:03:13 PM
At times I'm tempted to put a security camera in the kitchen so I could play back what she actually said, and not what she thought she said. But somehow that would backfire on me.
 
2013-02-20 04:03:20 PM
Common refrain, by me:

"Honey, can we please jump ahead to the part where you tell me the specific details about what we have to attend?"

Then I get to eat dinner by myself, which is allegedly a punishment.
 
2013-02-20 04:03:41 PM

Theaetetus: female apes played an important role not only in the development of tools for crushing nuts


Speech being their tool of choice.
 
2013-02-20 04:04:04 PM

ChrisDe: At times I'm tempted to put a security camera in the kitchen so I could play back what she actually said, and not what she thought she said. But somehow that would backfire on me.


I've fantasized about doing this as well. But yeah, it would almost certainly backfire.
 
2013-02-20 04:04:40 PM

TheOther: Theaetetus: female apes played an important role not only in the development of tools for crushing nuts

Speech being their tool of choice.


Or withholding sex from the male apes until they got their nuts.
 
2013-02-20 04:04:49 PM
My wife's pretty good, with the exception of repetition. Honey, after 2 times I am done. I love you anyway.
 
2013-02-20 04:05:05 PM
Sybarite:
Yep.

MmmHmmm.
*sips beer*


/Simple is good.
 
2013-02-20 04:05:14 PM
"You should do ~n before it gets cold"

"I will."

"No, you wont.  You say you will but you never finish anything."

"Didn't I do A,. B, B and all that other crap you asked about last  month?"

"Only because I nagged you."

"Are you sure?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, cause and effect.  Have you tried NOT nagging me and seeing what happens?"

"You're not the only person who makes decisions in this family!"

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"Why are you so pigheaded?"

"Why do you have to try and convince me that without your foot up my ass, I couldn't tie my own shoes?"

"Whut UVER, you are so immature."

"Yes, that must be it."

"So are you going to do ~n?"

"*sigh*"
 
2013-02-20 04:06:10 PM

SuperChuck: Do none of you have a wife filter? I don't even hear 80% of what my wife says at times.


I've got one, but it seems to block out something like 95%. I obviously have it set too high.  Anyway, I do miss things that I do want to know like, "Where are you going?"  She comes in from the grocery store and I'll ask, "Where have you been?"  That's usually a bad question because I was (allegedly) told in advance. In my defense, my wife is set at an unusual high level of motormouth.  Even other women think her setting is off the chart.  So I have to compensate and get the occasional biatch-bites because I missed something.
 
2013-02-20 04:07:46 PM

WhippingBoy: My wife also has this unshakable belief that as long as I'm in the house, no matter what room I'm in or what's going on around her, that if she talks, I can somehow  hear her.

This morning: I'm in the downstairs shower, with the radio blasting. I finish, and walk upstairs...

Her: "Well???"
Me: "Well what?"
Her: "Weren't you listening to me???"
Me: ???


What the fark! I'll be in a separate room playing Black Ops with my head set on (and she knows I'm doing this) and then I'll hear a voice faintly in the background, and between games I'll realize it's her asking me something about bills.
 
2013-02-20 04:08:24 PM

kroonermanblack: Ed Grubermann: My problems is with all the unrelated tangents, background data I don't need or want, and repetition of things I already know.

An I the only guy in existence who has learned to 'shell' conversations? I just keep what I need, smile and nod at most of the rest, because it doesn't matter to me?

Course that's only vs females related to me (mother, aunts, etc). Could explain why I'm single. And can't get a date. Or maybe it's the 'hanging out with tons of old female relatives' thing.


My wife will yammer on and on about work - She teaches little kids music.  Let me show you all the farks I give about these kids:


I've learned to interject the occasional "uhh-huh, oh wow, really, oh her mother is a biatch..." as needed.  I know it sounds terrible  but I simply do not care about the happenings of her students.  When she wants to talk about other things that matter, I am all ears.
 
2013-02-20 04:08:30 PM

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Women do indeed do this. They also "tell" you things without actually doing so, then get angry when you forget. [followed by amusing example]


This can happen both ways, especially if you've been together a long time.  "Mrs. Eaton" and I both have episdoes where we think about telling the other something but forget to actually speak the words, then proceed under the mistaken belief that we talked about it.  On good days we do a reality check to see if there's been a foolish reliance on ESP powers, and on bad days we argue about it.
 
2013-02-20 04:08:42 PM

WhippingBoy: ChrisDe: At times I'm tempted to put a security camera in the kitchen so I could play back what she actually said, and not what she thought she said. But somehow that would backfire on me.

I've fantasized about doing this as well. But yeah, it would almost certainly backfire.


It's like thermodynamics. You cannot win.
 
2013-02-20 04:09:03 PM

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: JNowe: Scientists have discovered that women possess higher levels of a "language protein" in their brains, which could explain why females are so talkative.

Which would be fine, if they had higher levels of content.

There's plenty of content.  What we have here is a comprehension gap.


The signal-to-noise ratio sucks.
 
2013-02-20 04:09:42 PM

Theaetetus: [www.phdcomics.com image 600x667]

Or, specifically in this article:
1. The average woman talks more than the average man. never farking shuts the fark up
2. Male rat pups cry more than female rat pups, and they have twice as much of the protein FOXP2.
3. In a study of 10 human children, the females had more of the FOXP2 protein than the males.

... which is translated as "we discovered the protein that causes adult women to talk more!" Never farking shut the fark up.


Fixed.
 
2013-02-20 04:10:15 PM

SmackLT: Just different communication styles. Although I tend to be more wary when she uses a much smaller number of words because it sounds evasive by comparison.

Her: So I ran into Martin the other day.
Me: Oh really?
Her: Yeah.
Me: Where?
Her: Bookstore.
Me: Okay. So did you guys talk?
Her: A little.
Me: Then he left?
Her: No, we got coffee.
Me: Oh.
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: So what did you guys talk about?
Her: Nothing.
Me: ...


Yeah, she's letting Martin put it in her pooper, and she's enjoying it too!
 
2013-02-20 04:11:02 PM
You know, I was headed down to Kohl's with Jen, you remember Jen, she's the one whose husband was in that terrible accident? Not the one with the gap in her teeth, the one with the bright orange hair. Well, Jen is selling her brand new refrigerator and I was thinking we need a new refrigerator and she probably wouldn't ask that much for it considering how desperate they are for cash. Well anyway I think she's going to sell it to Kelly anyway, I was just wondering what you thought about it?

Oh-Oh! Wait, do you know where my thing is, for that stuff I make at Thanksgiving? The one with the handle? No, not that, the other....thing...It has a green handle. For the stuff I made the year before last- this is for that pumpkin stuff I made last thanksgiving. I'm not talking about that. ARE YOU GOING TO HELP ME LOOK FOR IT OR ARE YOU GOING TO WALK OUT OF THE ROOM AGAIN LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO?
 
2013-02-20 04:12:14 PM

WhippingBoy: ChrisDe: At times I'm tempted to put a security camera in the kitchen so I could play back what she actually said, and not what she thought she said. But somehow that would backfire on me.

I've fantasized about doing this as well. But yeah, it would almost certainly definitely backfire.


FTFY.
 
2013-02-20 04:12:20 PM
"Don't you 'yes dear' me!"

Oh, ffs.
 
2013-02-20 04:12:42 PM
Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, brings terror to my soul like the words "So I was thinking..."

Those four little words are always followed by 30 minutes of disjointed, useless talking until it's revealed that we should, yet again, spend tens of thousands of dollars on some "project" that she's just thought up.
 
2013-02-20 04:13:05 PM
I am a corporate receptionist.

I'll come home from work and he'll ask, "How was your day?" and I can turn that one question into a 20-minute monologue with quotes, voice-overs and props. By the time I'm done he knows the name and physical make-up of everyone I encountered between 8am and 5pm, whether or not I like them, and how I think they impacted the emotional success of my day.

My husband is a firefighter.

He'll come home from work and I'll ask, "How was your day?" He'll answer: "House caught on fire. Guy died."
 
2013-02-20 04:13:44 PM
After reading this thread I can only conclude that most of us are married to the same woman.
 
2013-02-20 04:14:12 PM
Holy hell.  I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets the "we need to talk about stuff tonight" which turns into she'll talk, and i'll nod my head waiting for her to get to the point.  Meanwhile, the hour I had to relax between kids going to bed and my sleepy time gets sucked to oblivion.
 
2013-02-20 04:14:18 PM

Jument: WhippingBoy: ChrisDe: At times I'm tempted to put a security camera in the kitchen so I could play back what she actually said, and not what she thought she said. But somehow that would backfire on me.

I've fantasized about doing this as well. But yeah, it would almost certainly backfire.

It's like thermodynamics. You cannot win.


And who really wants video of their wife banging some dude on the kitchen counter? There was an unclean towel still on it!
 
2013-02-20 04:14:36 PM

Jument: After reading this thread I can only conclude that most of us are married to the same woman.


They're all the same woman, deep down inside.
 
2013-02-20 04:15:03 PM

omelete
Dirtybird971: My GF likes to have conversations in her head which (apparently) she thinks I can hear (and sometimes DAYS before) and then when I don't know what the topic is I'm the one not listening.

Or
she'll start talking about something totally unrelated to the previous, though still ongoing to me, conversation. So now when I hear about that whore talking smack about other wimen in the office I'm thinking her daughter is a whore and cursing everyone out.

Are you dating my wife?


It would be the only way I have a wife
 
2013-02-20 04:15:35 PM

TrixieDelite: I am a corporate receptionist.

I'll come home from work and he'll ask, "How was your day?" and I can turn that one question into a 20-minute monologue with quotes, voice-overs and props. By the time I'm done he knows the name and physical make-up of everyone I encountered between 8am and 5pm, whether or not I like them, and how I think they impacted the emotional success of my day.

My husband is a firefighter.

He'll come home from work and I'll ask, "How was your day?" He'll answer: "House caught on fire. Guy died."


That there is full of so much win!
 
2013-02-20 04:15:46 PM

SmackLT: Just different communication styles. Although I tend to be more wary when she uses a much smaller number of words because it sounds evasive by comparison.

Her: So I ran into Martin the other day.
Me: Oh really?
Her: Yeah.
Me: Where?
Her: Bookstore.
Me: Okay. So did you guys talk?
Her: A little.
Me: Then he left?
Her: No, we got coffee.
Me: Oh.
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: So what did you guys talk about?
Her: Nothing. Yada yada yada
Me: ...


Is what she meant
 
2013-02-20 04:15:54 PM

hitlersbrain: If you are a man, imagine all the time, thought and energy you put into dreaming about sex and scheming to get sex. Assume women have about the same energy levels and that they have practically no sex drive. All that energy has to go somewhere right?


None of the women I've been in relationships with have had "practically no sex drive".  Unfortunately, they still won't shut up.  Sorry to blow your theory.
 
2013-02-20 04:17:37 PM
The other thing that drives me nuts is yes or no questions. I can ask one and I'm guaranteed to get a response of at least 20 words, half of which are not relevant to the question. All I want is "Yes" or "no". Why is that so hard?
 
2013-02-20 04:17:49 PM
Gf: Where's the Klondike bars?
Me: I don't know
Gf: Did you eat them all?
Me: I ate some, I'm not sure how many
Gf: Well they're all gone so you must have eaten all of them!
Me: Ok
Gf: I only had one!
Me: I'll stop by the store and get some more if you want
Gf: So now we have to make a special trip just for Klondike bars?? You'll just eat those too
Me: Isn't that what they're for?
Gf: They're for both of us!
Me: So eat them! It's not my fault you only ate one.
Gf: You know I'm dieting right now!
Me: ???
 
2013-02-20 04:17:56 PM

Pair-o-Dice: SmackLT: Just different communication styles. Although I tend to be more wary when she uses a much smaller number of words because it sounds evasive by comparison.

Her: So I ran into Martin the other day.
Me: Oh really?
Her: Yeah.
Me: Where?
Her: Bookstore.
Me: Okay. So did you guys talk?
Her: A little.
Me: Then he left?
Her: No, we got coffee.
Me: Oh.
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: So what did you guys talk about?
Her: Nothing. Yada yada yada
Me: ...

Is what she meant


You yada yada'd over the best part!

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-20 04:18:02 PM

Theaetetus: [www.phdcomics.com image 600x667]

Or, specifically in this article:
1. The average woman talks more than the average man.
2. Male rat pups cry more than female rat pups, and they have twice as much of the protein FOXP2.
3. In a study of 10 human children, the females had more of the FOXP2 protein than the males.

... which is translated as "we discovered the protein that causes adult women to talk more!"


More like: "We have never once even  heard of linguistic anthropology, because social sciences are for LOOZERS!". Seriously, hard sciences have  got to STFU about soft sciences, because  social sciences occasionally find out shiat that makes you look like a retard, such as the current theory that's so secure it's taught to 101 students: Women and men have differing speech patterns because of cultural hardwiring. Unless you find a pattern that occurs in  multiple different cultures before globalization, you are  not looking at biology, you're looking at culture.

I love hard sciences, but occasionally I wonder if they're trying to parody themselves. Just because you can't measure social influence with decimal points doesn't mean social influence doesn't exist. It just means you need to figure out a different measurement.
 
2013-02-20 04:18:16 PM
Attention women, here is a list of topics of conversation men find uninteresting under all circumstances. If you want to talk about them call your girlfriends or your mother.

1. your friends (unless they are hot and/or slutty)
2. your relatives (unless they are going to die soon and leave us money)
3. your job (unless someone is harassing you and needs a nut punch)
4. anyone else's children or pets
5. your problems (unless you want us to solve them, are willing to listen to and accept our solution, and are willing to do the work to implement the solution)

The following times are inappropriate for conversation, in fact in these situations the only acceptable interaction is to quietly leave an open beer somewhere we can see you do it but without interrupting what we are doing.

1. when we are looking at a screen (tv, video game, phone, tablet, etc)
2. when we are reading
3. when we are fixing things
4. when our eyes are closed
5. when we are talking on the phone

Follow this advice for a happy relationship.
 
2013-02-20 04:18:28 PM

Dr.Zom: Ed Grubermann: My problems is with all the unrelated tangents, background data I don't need or want, and repetition of things I already know.

Men are just as bad at this. They're telling me a story and then:

"You know Dave, right. From Spindy's?"
"Uh, I don't think so..."
"Tall guy?"
"No."
"Wears a hat?"
"Doesn't matter...."
"He was friends with Lindsey?"
"Dude...."


Yep. This is how so many conversations with guys I have go. Move the HELL on. I don't know the guy/place/car/boobs. Just get to the damned story.
 
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