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(The New Republic)   Take this Microbrew and Shove It. Why all those crappy towns bragging about their hipster districts and artisan burritos and up-and-coming brewpub scenes are really not that cool   (newrepublic.com ) divider line
    More: Cool, The Matches, Poughkeepsie, Inner Harbor, Raleigh-Durham, Plano, Twin Cities  
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12301 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Feb 2013 at 12:23 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-02-20 12:18:47 PM  
9 votes:
Here's the entire article:
0-media-cdn.foolz.us
2013-02-20 12:51:12 PM  
3 votes:

dc0012c: I'll take insufferable hipsterism anyday if it means that we don't go back to the days when Becks and Bass were high-end imports and the only place that made hamburgers with fresh beef was your house. F*ck whether it's "cool" or not, the US dining and drinking scene has improved in leaps and bounds in the last 20 years as towns of all sizes try to emulate the quality and diversity of places known for it. Get over the "hipster" vibe and enjoy a good IPA and an avocado mushroom burger.


Why would you drink an IPA with an avocado mushroom burger?  The hops will overbear on the avocado.  Savage.
A true pilsner, koelsch style, or black lager would work much better with the mushroom and avocado.
2013-02-20 12:42:37 PM  
3 votes:

HollandRivers: Wtf is dullor ??? What is that?



1.0165 Canadian dollars, but with less colour
2013-02-20 12:38:57 PM  
3 votes:
so, was there anything on earth that this guy said he liked?  or does he exist just to poop on everything.
2013-02-20 12:38:40 PM  
3 votes:
Wow... I actually have phantom sympathy symptom rectal discomfort from the amount of unadulterated BUTTHURT I just exposed myself to.

/won't be able to sit right for weeks.
//homebrews
2013-02-20 12:36:09 PM  
3 votes:

Citrate1007: The author is more insufferable than any hipster I've ever met.


If only there were a product that could remove the sand that is irritating him and leave him as fresh as a summer's eve.
2013-02-20 11:43:59 AM  
3 votes:
I really do not know which is worse - places that are desperately trying to be cool or journalists that think they're above them.
2013-02-20 04:51:10 PM  
2 votes:
well I have Deschutes Abyss (one bottle left), Old Rasputin, Stone Vertical epic 2009, Alaskan Amber, Kona Longboard, and Miller High Life in my man fridge and some serrano ham,  Pt Reyes blue cheese, Brillat Savarin, and Vermont cheddar in my kitchen fridge so I think I have a little something for everyone to hate or belittle.

/26 minutes?
2013-02-20 04:20:06 PM  
2 votes:

theflatline: I was in Dos Gatos bar, Jacksonville,FL, which is a cool lounge downtown, and it was a late saturday night, and the dj was spinning some old hip hop, and these hipsters in their mid 20s were drinking pbrs, wearing upside down visors, sweatbands, chest tats, the whole thing, and they were gyrating as only white people can.

I was with a buddy who is half black, but very light skinned, and blue eyed, who was dressed normally as was I, and this hipster girl says to us "you guys too uptight to dance".

My buddy while impeccable dressed, is a break dancer.  He just stood up and broke it down until all eyes were on him, so much so some hipster dude says "slow your roll this is not a contest."

So another hipster rolls to the DJ and and requests some latin music, cause you know hipsters are worldly, and puts on Elvis Crespos suavemente, and it was my turn.  Cause you know the latin dude who lived in Colombia for 5 years, where you cannot get a girl if you cannot dance.  So I grabbed a Puerto Rican girl I know, and we danced though suavemente and Ozomatlis Cumbia de los muertos.

I guess hipsters are the only ones who think Tribe called quest is so retro, or they are only allowed on the dance floor.

I


This needs to be explained to you my Latin friend, see I'm critically Caucasian and might be able to help.
What you were witnessing was "the white boy shuffle" and it is the dance of my people. This is the dance one acquires when your culture is devoid of rhythm. Look at all the popular forms of traditional white music... folk music.. folks tend to act out the words.. like wave your hands in the air to " aint no mountain high enough" . Heavymetal and all its flavors, they just beat the crap out of each other. Trancy gothy emo music.. they just kind stand there, bounce and twist. Guitar noodling hippy blues rock.. mostly they just twirl.. they may call it a dervish, but.. really, they are just... twirling

Classical white people dancing like waltzes, polka, which is a sped up waltz has heavy regimented rules. Square dancing, call dancing and 2 step? There is some other white dude telling you what to do.

So, its really not their fault. They're just really white. You were in jacksonville after all.

Personally, in my dancing, i have embraced my whiteness and have become the master of the white boy shuffle, augmenting it with the 80's hip wiggle arm swing, and of course the.. the white tornado... where kinda just turn around in place with a bit of fake lasso thrown overhead. Then clap your hands and back into the 80's dance. Now yer rockin!
2013-02-20 04:12:39 PM  
2 votes:

Deep Contact: We used to make our own beer when we were underage and poor, then we grew up.


Pruno is not beer.
2013-02-20 01:37:13 PM  
2 votes:

bingethinker: It's okay, Fark. Hipsters are not going to invade your mom's basement.


Not even after they get a whiff of her artisanal vagina spray?
2013-02-20 01:34:14 PM  
2 votes:

deanis: I for one like hanging out where you can get a good beer, decent food, good music, and be around people with similar interests and age. Does that make me a hipster?


No.  In order to become a hipster, you will need to:

1.  Swap out your wardrobe with clothes discarded by your blind Uncle Murray back in 1973.
2.  Even if your eyesight is 20/20, find and wear a pair of glasses from 1950's Soviet Russia.
3.  Stop listening to music, and fill your iPod with mp3 transfers of soundtracks from old industrial training films.
4.  Once you get all your friends to gather regularly at a place you all like, declare it "over", and insist that everyone start hanging out at the newsstand outside the bus depot, because the hot dog vendor adds paprika to his relish, and it's "amazing".
2013-02-20 01:09:09 PM  
2 votes:

positronica


1. The brew pud district


Freudian slip is Freudian.
2013-02-20 12:45:19 PM  
2 votes:
Summary: I used to be with it but then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it and what's it seems weird  and scary to me.
2013-02-20 12:44:27 PM  
2 votes:
www.mathieucieters.com

/Hotter than Bhut Jolokia infused taffy from pulled from ancient salt pot waters
2013-02-20 12:33:50 PM  
2 votes:
All those "Foodies" are really getting annoying.
That's why I've decided that all this new "good food" sucks.
Bf+
2013-02-20 12:33:26 PM  
2 votes:
And I thought Andy Rooney was dead...
2013-02-20 12:29:13 PM  
2 votes:

ChrisDe: Beer snob thread!


give it time. It could become a gun tread.
2013-02-20 12:27:33 PM  
2 votes:
I see you all have covered it. Good day
2013-02-20 09:24:41 PM  
1 vote:
Mitch Taylor's Bro:
I heart this post so much. When I dance, I have to hand out waivers: "I acknowledge that by standing within arm's, and sometimes leg's, distance of Mitch Taylor's Bro on the dance floor, I absolve him of all liability for any injuries or deaths that may occur as a result. Signed___________ Date_________ Witnessed by___________ Date_______"

I'm just doing my part to promote cultural awareness
2013-02-20 05:20:15 PM  
1 vote:

D_Evans45: max_pooper:

Calm down Susie, I didnt say ABV makes a beer or anything like it. Also, I love plenty of pale beer.

I fail to understand your blind hatred of good beer. Does the butthurt from hearing your piss pilsners degraded really gnaw that bad? Sorry, but these beers are about as shallow and uncomplex as you can find in America. I dont knock anyone for drinking pilsner in the same way I dont mock Sams Club boxed mac n chese eaters for enjoying boxed mac. But lets not pretend Sams Club boxed mac is anything special compared to real, fresh gourmet mac n cheese at an authentic Italian restaurant.

I dont care how or where my beer is produced, in what limited quantities, etc. I do however care that my beer tastes good. If Im drinking, Im drinking something that is delicious. And the beermakers you idolize, they simply cant provide this. Id rather drink liquor than stuff like domestic light pilsners; at least a mixed drink tastes good. Youd need to drink a liter of bladder busting, watery, tasteless swill to feel anything, and the experience itself sucks.


You guys are sitting over there arguing about beer, and mac and cheese.  And I'm over here wondering when mac and cheese became either "authentic" or Italian?
2013-02-20 03:17:40 PM  
1 vote:
I was in Dos Gatos bar, Jacksonville,FL, which is a cool lounge downtown, and it was a late saturday night, and the dj was spinning some old hip hop, and these hipsters in their mid 20s were drinking pbrs, wearing upside down visors, sweatbands, chest tats, the whole thing, and they were gyrating as only white people can.

I was with a buddy who is half black, but very light skinned, and blue eyed, who was dressed normally as was I, and this hipster girl says to us "you guys too uptight to dance".

My buddy while impeccable dressed, is a break dancer.  He just stood up and broke it down until all eyes were on him, so much so some hipster dude says "slow your roll this is not a contest."

So another hipster rolls to the DJ and and requests some latin music, cause you know hipsters are worldly, and puts on Elvis Crespos suavemente, and it was my turn.  Cause you know the latin dude who lived in Colombia for 5 years, where you cannot get a girl if you cannot dance.  So I grabbed a Puerto Rican girl I know, and we danced though suavemente and Ozomatlis Cumbia de los muertos.

I guess hipsters are the only ones who think Tribe called quest is so retro, or they are only allowed on the dance floor.

I
2013-02-20 02:50:29 PM  
1 vote:

maudibjr: Having lived in both South Dakota and East Tennessee.  I would avoid both.


You sure know how to pick 'em.
2013-02-20 02:32:40 PM  
1 vote:

randomjsa: max_pooper: It probably isn't superior. Anchor Brewing Company and Sierra Nevada Brewing Company both recently announced they will be opening new brewing facilities. They make damn fine "craft beer" and you can buy in your local grocery store.

If a beer is only distributed through vegan food trucks, chances are it sucks.

See I've strongly suspected this for years. Way back before anyone was running around calling it "hipster"... In every single solitary 'fandom' from food, to drink, to movies, to comics, to anything... There was always this group of people who had to prove how trendy they were by being in to something that almost nobody else was. They were the real fans, everyone else was just a bandwagon sheeple. Beer I suspect is the same...

Back in the late 90s I even saw a sign at a big comic book shop by the register that said "You are not special because you ask for a comic we've never heard of". I suspect that you could just as easily change that to "You are not special because you drink a beer we've never heard of"


You're probably going to need an alt if you want anyone to converse with you normally.
2013-02-20 02:32:00 PM  
1 vote:
Tumunga: theflatline: dc0012c: I'll take insufferable hipsterism anyday if it means that we don't go back to the days when Becks and Bass were high-end imports and the only place that made hamburgers with fresh beef was your house. F*ck whether it's "cool" or not, the US dining and drinking scene has improved in leaps and bounds in the last 20 years as towns of all sizes try to emulate the quality and diversity of places known for it. Get over the "hipster" vibe and enjoy a good IPA and an avocado mushroom burger.

I grew up in New Orleans, where good food and booze was always aplenty.

Throwing a slice of flavorless US grown avocado on food is the height of hipster cooking.

Me and the Mrs. have been hanging around in Fountain Square on the southeast side of Indianapolis. We're old compared to the artsy yokels down there, but it's a fine place to have a drink and catch a show. We saw Wanda Jackson down there not too long ago, and I even had a PBR. Am I cool yet, or am I supposed to not try to be cool because it's cool to do that? Help.


It depends. Did you blog about what you hated on your website www.Indie-napolis.com?
2013-02-20 02:29:03 PM  
1 vote:

max_pooper: Bell's Boy: I'm a hipster. There, I said it.

I am not all things hipster. I do not wear skinny jeans. I do not wear a scarf and Tom's. I enjoy sports.

What makes me a hipster apparently? I like good craft beer. I like good food, including experimentation with food. I like some music that would be considered obscure to some people........

My question is this: Is it the things that I like that make someone a hipster, or is it somebody who likes those things but is a pretentious douche bag about it? Or is it that a "hipster" is just a blanket name for people who don't like what you like?

Hipsterism to me seems rooted in a belief that what a person eats, drinks, wears or listens to is what makes them "cool" and the more obscure the food, drink or band the more "coo"l it is. Hipsters see something they perceive as "cool" and adopt it not necessarily because they genuinely like it but because they think it will make them "cool". When a person genuinely enjoys something they do not need to brag about how "cool" it is.

My 62 year old father who wears fishing shirts and khaki shorts with calf high navy socks likes craft beer and listens to Dr. Dog. He is not a hipster.


LOL, do you realize that UseUrHeadFred posted a picture of your dad 5 seconds before you posted this? :-)
2013-02-20 02:11:23 PM  
1 vote:
It's over.
2013-02-20 02:04:37 PM  
1 vote:

GregInIndy: positronica: I think a lot of posters so far have missed most the points of the article.  The author is basically saying the following...

1. The brew pub district and indy band shows that your city has aren't special or unique.  Dozens and dozens of other cities across the country have the same thing going on.
2. Youth culture, by virtue of inexperience, doesn't always know what the finer, more enjoyable things in life are.
3. Hipsterism isn't cool.  It might not be "uncool", but if you classify something that everyone is doing as "cool", then it looses any meaning.
4. Cities seem to be obsessed with convincing outsiders that they really are cooler than other cities.

Hey, finally, halfway through the comments and we find someone with decent reading comprehension.  The rest are either dumb, skimmed the article, or feel an annoying twinge of recognition about their own 'burg and/or lives.


And now you feel smug about it. Fantastic.
2013-02-20 01:54:30 PM  
1 vote:
I can't take anyone seriously who thinks Baltimore is hipster or at least thought it was supposed to be hipster.

Especially the inner harbour.  The inner harbour is the opposite of hipster.  It's all chain restaurant and stores and more megacorp, including federal national aquarium, and state maryland science center.  Don't get wrong, it's a fun time especially the science center and aquarium, but not hipster central.

The hot spots for young adults in Bmore are Fells Point and Federal Hill.  Except these have been the young adult parts of Bmore since like.. the 90s as far I can remember (maybe longer).  The bars and pubs there are really old and aren't new to the "scene".  The live music in these places isn't new, it's been going on for a while.  And people don't go there because it's "Cool" they go there because of the delicious food, beer, and most people are young adults and trying to socialize and make sexytime.

What's also hilarious is that you never see hipsters at the best crab cake restaurant in MD: G and M restaurant.  It's in a older, ghetto-looking area, and the demographic of customers is around 80% black.  Having grown up in MD and lived in Bmore, black heavy demographics don't bother me, but apparently scare off the hipster crowd. And I don't go to G+M cause it's cool, I go cause they have the best crab cakes in the nation (very little filler, jumbo lump, big as shiat, and only $12).  But I probably shouldn't have told you all this. Maybe it'll become trendy now. Oh noes.
2013-02-20 01:37:03 PM  
1 vote:

Rapmaster2000: shortymac: kidgenius: You know why I hate hipster places? Because everyone goes to hiptser places. Everyone tries to be "cool" by eating at these restaurants and drinking at their bars. Sure, the food is pretty good. But the crowds and wait times absolutely kill it. And, having to hear everyone say "OMG OMG OMG! If you haven't eaten at XXX, then you haven't lived! They name their chickens before they kill em. They only use locally grown XXXX" It's a formula to get people to come to your place. And yes, it can work out, but I just want to have a restaurant that says "here I am, come and eat" and stops trying to be pretentious about their "story" and the ingredients and the story they are trying to tell with their ingredients.

It's what pisses me off about hipster food places, granted there are some that are experimenting and trying new things but can be knock off the long-winded personal screeds already!

Or selling the "atmosphere" instead of concentrating on your dishes, I don't care how twee your restaurant is, I want good food, in reasonable portions (DO NOT give me a meatball-sized hamburger*) for a good price.

/*School in Toronto, thankfully I wasn't paying for that lunch
//http://www.yelp.ca/biz/school-bakery-and-cafe-toronto-2

I clicked on the link.  That ain't hipster.  That's tourist.


Liberty village is "hipster with a trust fund" central for Toronto. When I was working nearby my co-workers all raved about it,definitely not "tourist".

/Parkdale is for hipsters without money
//Just starting to gentrify
2013-02-20 01:22:04 PM  
1 vote:
www.toplessrobot.com

0 megafonzies .
2013-02-20 01:18:40 PM  
1 vote:

deanis: I for one like hanging out where you can get a good beer, decent food, good music, and be around people with similar interests and age. Does that make me a hipster? I doubt it, but keep farking that "OMGhipsterssuck" chicken, middle aged boring guy.


If you hang out with hipsters, go to hipster bars, eat hipster food, drink hipster beer, listen to hipster music and get offended when people call you a hipster, you are a hipster.
2013-02-20 01:16:32 PM  
1 vote:
It's okay, Fark. Hipsters are not going to invade your mom's basement.
2013-02-20 01:05:44 PM  
1 vote:

SurelyShirley: CoonAce: Well, gentrified brewpubs ARE douchebag magnets.

That might depend on the town. Some towns just have way too many DBs (and not enough brewpubs to spread 'em out).


That's no way to talk about Boston.
2013-02-20 12:58:21 PM  
1 vote:
if I had a believable european accent I'd go into these hipster bars with their obscure beers, order one, say it tastes like shiat and go on a rant about how great european beer is, order coors light, and say this is not a bad american beer.
if they had lenses in their hipster glasses they'd be fogged over from the anger.
2013-02-20 12:48:09 PM  
1 vote:
hmmmm, I'm guessing he's 'in to' cute hipster chicks, but can't pull off that look, or isn't cool enough to bag one. It's ok guy, they have the mental maturity of a 12 year old, unless that's your bag baby.
2013-02-20 12:47:07 PM  
1 vote:

busy chillin': tricycleracer: busy chillin': Applebee's serves Budweiser.

Let's order something "grilled".

Eatin' good in the neighborhood!


http://www.theonion.com/video/new-ad-urges-hipsters-to-go-to-applebe es -ironicall,28721/
2013-02-20 12:46:33 PM  
1 vote:

tricycleracer: busy chillin': Applebee's serves Budweiser.

Let's order something "grilled".


Eatin' good in the neighborhood!
2013-02-20 12:45:14 PM  
1 vote:
Applebee's serves Budweiser.
2013-02-20 12:41:37 PM  
1 vote:
This guy's point eludes me.

First, he's bemoaning cities that used to be honest (dull) places for authentic salt-of-the-earth people to live their lives, and then become a pretentious Mecca for bohemians.  Okay, I've heard that line before.

But then, he whines about how unimpressed he was by all the "it" cities he visited.  Dude, if you're the one visiting, then what the Hell is the argument here?  They're gentrifying your neighborhood into something edgy, and dammit these neighborhoods aren't edgy enough!  It's the hipster version of "this food sucks and the portions are too small."

Nevermind the fact that if all these towns decided to be Plano, Illinois, they'd still be unimpressive and exactly alike if you visited them---except now you're visiting a town whose dining options are a Subway, and it's closed on sundays after 5.
kab
2013-02-20 12:41:09 PM  
1 vote:
But there are few more insufferable banalities in modern urban life than a town recently deemed cool self absorbed, whiny journalist.

Fixed.  And don't worry, Chucky, if you keep driving past all these mortifying small businesses, you'll eventually see a golden arches, or even a Wal Mart sign, and be able to breath a bit easier.
2013-02-20 12:38:18 PM  
1 vote:

oldfarthenry: Look everyone! It's another "hatester" vs "hipster" article (aka battle of the neck-beards).


stay out of this fight Canuckian. You drink milk. And you drink it from bags. To wash down some French fries dipped in something that dripped from Satan's teat.

/ speaking of teats

i623.photobucket.com

/lucky, lucky, lucky bastard
2013-02-20 12:38:03 PM  
1 vote:
What a huge jackass.
2013-02-20 12:35:51 PM  
1 vote:
I think it has been pretty well shredded so far in this thread, but wow.  What a stupid article.  The point the author is trying to make, as far as I can tell, is "I was a hipster before being a hipster was cool."

Also, this:

dc0012c: I'll take insufferable hipsterism anyday if it means that we don't go back to the days when Becks and Bass were high-end imports and the only place that made hamburgers with fresh beef was your house. F*ck whether it's "cool" or not, the US dining and drinking scene has improved in leaps and bounds in the last 20 years as towns of all sizes try to emulate the quality and diversity of places known for it. Get over the "hipster" vibe and enjoy a good IPA and an avocado mushroom burger.

2013-02-20 12:33:13 PM  
1 vote:
off topic...when you scroll up or down on that stop liking what I don't like do the "k's" move....hey look a bunny!
2013-02-20 12:32:15 PM  
1 vote:
Whether it be a restaurant, brewery, food truck, or band, if a hipster is raving about it you can pretty much guarantee that it is awful.
2013-02-20 12:31:47 PM  
1 vote:
The author is more insufferable than any hipster I've ever met.
2013-02-20 12:31:12 PM  
1 vote:
Look everyone! It's another "hatester" vs "hipster" article (aka battle of the neck-beards).
2013-02-20 12:29:29 PM  
1 vote:
Art.. artisan burritos?  Is that like a pink taco?
2013-02-20 12:09:32 PM  
1 vote:
After visiting this hotbed of cool, I can attest that it's every bit as entertaining as San Diego's savagely dullor Baltimore's prosaic Inner Harbor.

Dude, your problem is that you went to the mall and were shocked when it was just like every other mall.  This is because you're not cool.
2013-02-20 11:59:02 AM  
1 vote:
NOW GET OFF MY LAWN!!!
 
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