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(BBC)   Pub landlord who beat off four muggers while holding fish and chips fined by police when they decide it was just codswallop   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 50
    More: Followup, Cambridgeshire Police, screwdrivers, Wisbech  
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9619 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Feb 2013 at 1:20 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-20 11:43:52 AM  
Pub landlord who beat off 4 muggers while holding fish and chips

That is  not a good replacement for tartar sauce!
 
2013-02-20 11:55:43 AM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-20 12:26:44 PM  
www.saahub.com
 
2013-02-20 12:51:06 PM  
I bet those muggers had some greasy cocks after being beaten off by a man holding fish and chips.
 
2013-02-20 01:22:54 PM  
Maybe he can answer the question, "Is old newspaper sufficient protection against disease?"
 
2013-02-20 01:23:01 PM  
Subby, you might want to read your headlines aloud first...

Giggidy.
 
2013-02-20 01:23:37 PM  
Anyone catch the innuendo?
 
2013-02-20 01:24:27 PM  
Well... Did he come or what?
 
2013-02-20 01:24:44 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-20 01:25:34 PM  
He said he managed to kick the first two men in the knees and, using one hand, fought off the third.

So, are they city guards now?.
 
2013-02-20 01:25:35 PM  
THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF HE WAS ALLOWED TO OWN AN ASSAULT WEAPON WITH 30 ROUNDS!!
(extra ammo required for trigger-slippage due to the chip oil)
 
2013-02-20 01:25:52 PM  
Watched an episode of the Simpsons this past weekend for the first time in forever.  Bart's girlfriend was breaking up with him.  He said to her, "I'll be more attentive to your needs on the see-saw.  I'll stay down there as long as you like."  I about turned it off then.  I'm sure the original writers roll their eyes at what the show has become.
 
2013-02-20 01:25:55 PM  
He must have six hands in order to beat off four men while holding fish and chips...
 
2013-02-20 01:28:13 PM  

CygnusDarius: He said he managed to kick the first two men in the knees and, using one hand, fought off the third.

So, are they city guards now?.


Yeah we're guards

www.dailydoseofexcel.com
 
2013-02-20 01:28:47 PM  
Came here for the gay derp, ChipNasa et al did not disappoint.
 
2013-02-20 01:30:18 PM  
That sounds greasy.
 
2013-02-20 01:30:33 PM  
He withdrew his statement. It's that simple. The first thought in these kind of situations is, "is this guy trying to sell us some magic beans?". Well, it's in England so the first thought probably is, "Wots all this then? Four men? Stabbed you with a screwdriver, did 'e? Are you trying to sell us the Queen's nickers or sumit?"
 
2013-02-20 01:31:24 PM  
Jerked off 4 guys and didn't drop his food?  Multi-tasking!
 
2013-02-20 01:33:23 PM  
Cockswallowup.
 
2013-02-20 01:33:42 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: I bet those muggers had some greasy cocks after being beaten off by a man holding fish and chips.


Obviously I didn't read the comments.
 
2013-02-20 01:33:58 PM  

oldfarthenry: THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF HE WAS ALLOWED TO OWN AN ASSAULT WEAPON WITH 30 ROUNDS!!
(extra ammo required for trigger-slippage due to the chip oil)


Shut it, canuck.
 
2013-02-20 01:34:50 PM  
His mistake was asking the copper to come back to his place.

i2.ytimg.com
 
2013-02-20 01:36:10 PM  
So that's the British word for a gay handjob....

themoreyouknow.jpg
 
2013-02-20 01:42:27 PM  

griffer: oldfarthenry: THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF HE WAS ALLOWED TO OWN AN ASSAULT WEAPON WITH 30 ROUNDS!!
(extra ammo required for trigger-slippage due to the chip oil)

Shut it, canuck.


i1151.photobucket.com


♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫
You had to be a big shot, didn't you
All your friends were so knocked out
You had to have the last word, last night
You know what everything's about

♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫
 
2013-02-20 01:43:34 PM  
Pub landlord who beat off 4 muggers ...


In a row?
 
2013-02-20 01:46:56 PM  
i1242.photobucket.com
Will beat your dick off
 
2013-02-20 01:48:22 PM  
Oblig

i.imgur.com
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-02-20 01:53:49 PM  

ChipNASA: [i.imgur.com image 800x522]


Absolutely magnificent.....
/ i LOL'd and the folks around my office heard my geeky, snorting laugh and i dont care
 
2013-02-20 02:02:15 PM  
He's no Arthur Treacher.
 
2013-02-20 02:05:17 PM  
Spentmiles


I caught that too, it was none too subtle....
 
2013-02-20 02:05:28 PM  

mike_d85: Well... Did he come or what?


Jesus Christ, man! There's some things you just don't talk about in public!
 
2013-02-20 02:07:14 PM  

CygnusDarius: He said he managed to kick the first two men in the knees and, using one hand, fought off the third.

So, are they city guards now?.


You see those pub landlords from Cambridgeshire? They've got curved swordfish. Curved. Swordsfish.
 
2013-02-20 02:08:32 PM  
"I hope this serves as a lesson to anyone who thinks they can lie to the police and get away with it."

collider.com

"He was also a terrible cook. It was for the greater good, you know?"
 
2013-02-20 02:10:37 PM  

oldfarthenry: griffer: oldfarthenry: THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF HE WAS ALLOWED TO OWN AN ASSAULT WEAPON WITH 30 ROUNDS!!
(extra ammo required for trigger-slippage due to the chip oil)

Shut it, canuck.

[i1151.photobucket.com image 570x380]


♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫
You had to be a big shot, didn't you
All your friends were so knocked out
You had to have the last word, last night
You know what everything's about

♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫


Good lord.  What in the hell?  Did Mr. Joel borrow Mr. Boehner's tanning lamp?  Wow.
 
2013-02-20 02:11:39 PM  
"I wanted every to know what a tough guy I was and to find the alleged muggers, but then the cops started asking questions and I figured it wasn't worth the hassle..."

Glad they fined his dumb ass for wasting their time.
 
2013-02-20 02:17:45 PM  

MythDragon: "I hope this serves as a lesson to anyone who thinks they can lie to the police and get away with it."

[collider.com image 600x382]

"He was also a terrible cook. It was for the greater good, you know?"


historc.files.wordpress.comThe Greater Good.
 
2013-02-20 02:34:20 PM  
fc08.deviantart.net
 
2013-02-20 02:43:03 PM  
 
2013-02-20 02:56:53 PM  
Stubby, why did the police fine the fish and chips??
 
2013-02-20 03:00:40 PM  
Did he beat them off two at a time or did they take turns?
 
2013-02-20 03:05:00 PM  

JesusJuice: Did he beat them off two at a time or did they take turns?


Fingercuffs
 
2013-02-20 03:35:37 PM  

keylock71: "I wanted every to know what a tough guy I was and to find the alleged muggers, but then the cops started asking questions and I figured it wasn't worth the hassle..."

Glad they fined his dumb ass for wasting their time.


Nah they fined him for trying to report an unsolvable crime which would make their numbers look bad.
 
2013-02-20 03:54:39 PM  
What a bunch of fish tossers.
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-20 03:57:23 PM  
Too bad there was no CCTV. I always wondered what Straw Dogs would be like where instead of a college professor and group of sadistic tradesmen it was a solo piece played by a fat guy with a bag of chips.
 
2013-02-20 04:13:27 PM  
I hope there wasn't any crossing of the swords.
 
2013-02-20 05:08:57 PM  

keylock71: "I wanted every to know what a tough guy I was and to find the alleged muggers, but then the cops started asking questions and I figured it wasn't worth the hassle..."

Glad they fined his dumb ass for wasting their time.


Sounds like the cops didn't like him increasing their crime stats, I wonder if they get funding based off drops in crime stats like is done here......

Wouldn't surprise me in the slightest, they just dont fine people here for telling cops to forget it
 
2013-02-20 06:43:09 PM  

steamingpile: keylock71: "I wanted every to know what a tough guy I was and to find the alleged muggers, but then the cops started asking questions and I figured it wasn't worth the hassle..."

Glad they fined his dumb ass for wasting their time.

Sounds like the cops didn't like him increasing their crime stats, I wonder if they get funding based off drops in crime stats like is done here......

Wouldn't surprise me in the slightest, they just dont fine people here for telling cops to forget it


So they were just asking him if his girlfriend or whatever did it out of the blue?

Sounds like the cops started thinking he was dicking them around after a few questions about the alleged crime and his story started falling a part.

My uninformed opinion, of course.
 
2013-02-20 07:05:10 PM  

cretinbob: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 424x403]


Looks like the guy on the left isn't done.
 
2013-02-21 08:21:34 AM  
a Salt and Batter, eh?
 
2013-02-22 01:58:28 AM  
I always wanted to beat off while holding fish and chips. Kudos to him
 
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