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(Slacktory)   Pick-up artists get replies from @horse_ebooks bot. Fine with them, they still try to have sex with it (Not safe for work language)   (slacktory.com) divider line 8
    More: Amusing, pick-up artist, objectification  
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9025 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Feb 2013 at 12:11 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-02-20 12:34:56 PM
5 votes:
Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
Bloodninja: What like gardening an s**t?
MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.
Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
MommyMelissa: is that it?
Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this s**t is HOT.
MommyMelissa: ...
Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
MommyMelissa: What the f**k is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. B**ch.
MommyMelissa: whatever.
2013-02-20 12:44:10 PM
4 votes:
Bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli13: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
Bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli13: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli13: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
Bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli13: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli13: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli13: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f**king charge your ass.
j_gurli13: stop, cmon be serious.
Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
Bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli13: thats it.
Bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
Bloodninja: F**k am I hard now.
2013-02-20 12:21:54 PM
3 votes:
It's like watching a dog hump a fire hydrant
2013-02-20 12:20:55 PM
3 votes:

The sound of one hand clapping: Not sure if I should believe this is real or not.  I'd like to think that no guy would be stupid enough to expect to hook a woman with a 1 sentence message and then an equally short follow up message where he calls her 'cutey'.  But then I remind myself that some guys really are clueless.


Clearly you've never been a man before.
2013-02-20 05:00:23 PM
1 votes:
He rides across the nation
The thoroughbred of sin
He got the application
You just sent in

It needs evaluation
So let the games begin
A heinous crime, a show of force
A murder would be nice, of course

Bad Horse
Bad Horse
Bad Horse
He's bad
2013-02-20 02:54:50 PM
1 votes:
Girls say random stupid shiat all the time.  What does any of this prove?  That guys will try to fark incoherent biatches?  Big farking surprise, how profound, wow, you deserve a farking Pulitzer.
2013-02-20 12:38:22 PM
1 votes:
2013-02-20 12:23:19 PM
1 votes:

The sound of one hand clapping: Not sure if I should believe this is real or not.  I'd like to think that no guy would be stupid enough to expect to hook a woman with a 1 sentence message and then an equally short follow up message where he calls her 'cutey'.  But then I remind myself that some guys really are clueless.


My girlfriend was on OK Cupid a couple years ago, and she showed me some of the messages she received.  I will never again underestimate the cluelessness or crassness of some guys.
 
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