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(Slacktory)   Pick-up artists get replies from @horse_ebooks bot. Fine with them, they still try to have sex with it (Not safe for work language)   (slacktory.com) divider line 40
    More: Amusing, pick-up artist, objectification  
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9025 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Feb 2013 at 12:11 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



40 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-02-20 12:13:06 PM
Not sure if I should believe this is real or not.  I'd like to think that no guy would be stupid enough to expect to hook a woman with a 1 sentence message and then an equally short follow up message where he calls her 'cutey'.  But then I remind myself that some guys really are clueless.
 
2013-02-20 12:20:55 PM

The sound of one hand clapping: Not sure if I should believe this is real or not.  I'd like to think that no guy would be stupid enough to expect to hook a woman with a 1 sentence message and then an equally short follow up message where he calls her 'cutey'.  But then I remind myself that some guys really are clueless.


Clearly you've never been a man before.
 
2013-02-20 12:21:54 PM
It's like watching a dog hump a fire hydrant
 
2013-02-20 12:23:19 PM

The sound of one hand clapping: Not sure if I should believe this is real or not.  I'd like to think that no guy would be stupid enough to expect to hook a woman with a 1 sentence message and then an equally short follow up message where he calls her 'cutey'.  But then I remind myself that some guys really are clueless.


My girlfriend was on OK Cupid a couple years ago, and she showed me some of the messages she received.  I will never again underestimate the cluelessness or crassness of some guys.
 
2013-02-20 12:24:49 PM
I have female friends that routinely send me the messages they get for comedy gold.  I can tell you that these are absolutely real and still aren't the worst of what's out there.
 
2013-02-20 12:27:29 PM
Not defending these guys but they wouldn't be pursuing it if they didn't catch a fish everyonce and a while. Nothing too new here in this story.
 
2013-02-20 12:28:49 PM
"when it comes to things like love and sex, @horse_ebooks seems more alive than her suitors."

my favorite part of the article
 
2013-02-20 12:29:44 PM

leonel: The sound of one hand clapping: Not sure if I should believe this is real or not.  I'd like to think that no guy would be stupid enough to expect to hook a woman with a 1 sentence message and then an equally short follow up message where he calls her 'cutey'.  But then I remind myself that some guys really are clueless.

Clearly you've never been a man before.


Well, I was once for just a few hours, but then it got better.

/Actually is a guy
//Has lots of guy friends
/Still gets surprised by the stupidity of certain members of my gender
 
2013-02-20 12:34:56 PM
Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
Bloodninja: What like gardening an s**t?
MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.
Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
MommyMelissa: is that it?
Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this s**t is HOT.
MommyMelissa: ...
Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
MommyMelissa: What the f**k is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. B**ch.
MommyMelissa: whatever.
 
2013-02-20 12:35:13 PM

Wook: Not defending these guys but they wouldn't be pursuing it if they didn't catch a fish everyonce and a while.


In a completely unrelated matter, I have some commemorative plates to sell you. They're not guaranteed to go up in value, but most do. Hey, people wouldn't buy them if they didn't catch a fish every once in a while, right? Cash is good.
 
2013-02-20 12:36:27 PM

ignatius_crumbcake: The sound of one hand clapping: Not sure if I should believe this is real or not.  I'd like to think that no guy would be stupid enough to expect to hook a woman with a 1 sentence message and then an equally short follow up message where he calls her 'cutey'.  But then I remind myself that some guys really are clueless.

My girlfriend was on OK Cupid a couple years ago, and she showed me some of the messages she received.  I will never again underestimate the cluelessness or crassness of some guys.


I think it's a result of guys who are under the impression that porn is anything close to reality. They keep seeing videos of women give it up to guys who just whip it out, they think that it actually does happen.

Well, it might, but not near as often as they believe it does. They're just pathetic on so many levels.
 
2013-02-20 12:38:22 PM
 
2013-02-20 12:42:15 PM
That last guy was kinda scary. 'We are going out, do you hear me?' Just dripping with rapey rape.
 
2013-02-20 12:44:10 PM
Bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli13: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
Bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli13: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli13: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
Bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli13: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli13: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli13: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f**king charge your ass.
j_gurli13: stop, cmon be serious.
Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
Bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli13: thats it.
Bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
Bloodninja: F**k am I hard now.
 
2013-02-20 12:44:17 PM

SkunkWerks: MommyMelissa


Damnit.. I gotta write down your names or something.

/Puts away robe and wizard hat.


//Cleverbot tries to cyber me sometimes. It must just like the way I write.
 
2013-02-20 01:13:20 PM

Wook: Not defending these guys but they wouldn't be pursuing it if they didn't catch a fish everyonce and a while. Nothing too new here in this story.


Or they're just ridiculously desperate and completely clueless.
 
2013-02-20 01:21:21 PM

RminusQ: Wook: Not defending these guys but they wouldn't be pursuing it if they didn't catch a fish everyonce and a while. Nothing too new here in this story.

Or they're just ridiculously desperate and completely clueless.


Some of both, I think. The clueless ones who never catch a fish even with their "technique" reason that if they tried nothing, they're guaranteed to get nothing, so at least they're trying something.

Hopefully with failure they'll move on to less offensive techniques, but I wouldn't underestimate the stupidity of some women to actually respond to this crap. For every guy who acts like this there is a women who just does what men tell her, for no explicable reason.
 
2013-02-20 01:29:28 PM

Christian Bale: RminusQ: Wook: Not defending these guys but they wouldn't be pursuing it if they didn't catch a fish everyonce and a while. Nothing too new here in this story.

Or they're just ridiculously desperate and completely clueless.

Some of both, I think. The clueless ones who never catch a fish even with their "technique" reason that if they tried nothing, they're guaranteed to get nothing, so at least they're trying something.

Hopefully with failure they'll move on to less offensive techniques, but I wouldn't underestimate the stupidity of some women to actually respond to this crap.

For every guy who acts like this there is a women who just does what men tell her, for no explicable reason.

You hit it on the head.  There are idiots on both sides of the isle.
 
2013-02-20 01:35:11 PM

Christian Bale: Some of both, I think. The clueless ones who never catch a fish even with their "technique" reason that if they tried nothing, they're guaranteed to get nothing, so at least they're trying something.


In an age characterized by the speed and proliferation of communication, this is inevitable, honestly.

How to Win Friends and Influence People

Snake Oil salesmen everywhere.
 
2013-02-20 01:38:39 PM
Woah. I read just the screen shot part and thought someone had gotten into my text messages.

Phew!
 
2013-02-20 01:48:07 PM

NutWrench: [www.cheatmasters.com image 471x230]
Fisto.


I can't feel my legs!
 
2013-02-20 01:49:08 PM
i2.ytimg.com
It's power cells recharge as it moves! It's a revolution in robotic longevity!
-Can you fark it?
Uh....excuse me?
-Can you fark it?
No!
-Aaaaah
 
2013-02-20 01:54:46 PM

NutWrench: [www.cheatmasters.com image 471x230]
Fisto.


suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com
My favorite bit is when you ask one ghoul who used to be a wanderer why he settled down in a ghoul community, and he replies:

"It's a safe place, the people are friendly, and, I don't have to tell you, some of these ghoulettes are pretty damn sexy! .... Well .... ok ... I guess I DO have to tell you."
 
2013-02-20 02:22:39 PM
Those pickup attempts are NOT the work of pick-up artists, unless you consider anyone who sends suggestive texts  or is a "Night at the Roxbury" type an "artist".  The messages shown in the article are desperate men with ZERO knowledge of game who "shotgun" prospective women because they can't do any better.  A shotgun message is short, to-the-point and impersonal.  It doesn't matter if some of the profiles are fake because they're blasting all of them.  The idea is if you send them out to 1000 women at least one of them will bite.  In the physical world this would be the guy at the club who grabs the hand of every girl on the dance floor hoping one of them will be desperate/drunk enough to oblige.  The PUA community doesn't resort to this, hence the term "artist", but critics are too busy hating on them because they can't understand why PUAs actually get girls unlike the idiots you see spamming OKCupid profiles.
 
2013-02-20 02:26:07 PM

freeforever: Those pickup attempts are NOT the work of pick-up artists, unless you consider anyone who sends suggestive texts  or is a "Night at the Roxbury" type an "artist".  The messages shown in the article are desperate men with ZERO knowledge of game who "shotgun" prospective women because they can't do any better.  A shotgun message is short, to-the-point and impersonal.  It doesn't matter if some of the profiles are fake because they're blasting all of them.  The idea is if you send them out to 1000 women at least one of them will bite.  In the physical world this would be the guy at the club who grabs the hand of every girl on the dance floor hoping one of them will be desperate/drunk enough to oblige.  The PUA community doesn't resort to this, hence the term "artist", but critics are too busy hating on them because they can't understand why PUAs actually get girls unlike the idiots you see spamming OKCupid profiles.


Clearly, they're No True McPUAs.
 
2013-02-20 02:54:50 PM
Girls say random stupid shiat all the time.  What does any of this prove?  That guys will try to fark incoherent biatches?  Big farking surprise, how profound, wow, you deserve a farking Pulitzer.
 
2013-02-20 04:33:11 PM

freeforever: Those pickup attempts are NOT the work of pick-up artists, unless you consider anyone who sends suggestive texts  or is a "Night at the Roxbury" type an "artist".  The messages shown in the article are desperate men with ZERO knowledge of game who "shotgun" prospective women because they can't do any better.  A shotgun message is short, to-the-point and impersonal.  It doesn't matter if some of the profiles are fake because they're blasting all of them.  The idea is if you send them out to 1000 women at least one of them will bite.  In the physical world this would be the guy at the club who grabs the hand of every girl on the dance floor hoping one of them will be desperate/drunk enough to oblige.  The PUA community doesn't resort to this, hence the term "artist", but critics are too busy hating on them because they can't understand why PUAs actually get girls unlike the idiots you see spamming OKCupid profiles.


Don't you have to be at the gym in 26 minutes?
 
2013-02-20 04:36:34 PM

freeforever: Those pickup attempts are NOT the work of pick-up artists, unless you consider anyone who sends suggestive texts  or is a "Night at the Roxbury" type an "artist".  The messages shown in the article are desperate men with ZERO knowledge of game who "shotgun" prospective women because they can't do any better.  A shotgun message is short, to-the-point and impersonal.  It doesn't matter if some of the profiles are fake because they're blasting all of them.  The idea is if you send them out to 1000 women at least one of them will bite.  In the physical world this would be the guy at the club who grabs the hand of every girl on the dance floor hoping one of them will be desperate/drunk enough to oblige.  The PUA community doesn't resort to this, hence the term "artist", but critics are too busy hating on them because they can't understand why PUAs actually get girls unlike the idiots you see spamming OKCupid profiles.


Go back to fellating Neil Strauss and fix your farking eye-liner, it's atrocious.
 
2013-02-20 05:00:23 PM
He rides across the nation
The thoroughbred of sin
He got the application
You just sent in

It needs evaluation
So let the games begin
A heinous crime, a show of force
A murder would be nice, of course

Bad Horse
Bad Horse
Bad Horse
He's bad
 
2013-02-20 05:08:15 PM

SkunkWerks: Bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli13: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
Bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli13: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli13: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
Bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli13: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli13: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli13: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f**king charge your ass.
j_gurli13: stop, cmon be serious.
Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
Bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli13: thats it.
Bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
Bloodninja: F**k am I hard now.


These are great... where are you getting them from?
 
2013-02-20 06:32:38 PM

ignatius_crumbcake: The sound of one hand clapping: Not sure if I should believe this is real or not.  I'd like to think that no guy would be stupid enough to expect to hook a woman with a 1 sentence message and then an equally short follow up message where he calls her 'cutey'.  But then I remind myself that some guys really are clueless.

My girlfriend was on OK Cupid a couple years ago, and she showed me some of the messages she received.  I will never again underestimate the cluelessness or crassness of some guys.


My best friend and I made OKC accounts earnestly when we were about 20 and quickly stopped using them. We've picked them up again lately just to compare weird messages for laughs. Frequently, we get the exact same message sent to both of us by guys who clearly haven't read our profiles. They'll mention "details" that neither of us have written like "Oh, I love romantic comedies too!" or something. It's bizarre.
 
2013-02-20 06:34:23 PM
I put on my wizards hat.....
 
2013-02-20 06:49:42 PM

Shadow Blasko: SkunkWerks: MommyMelissa

Damnit.. I gotta write down your names or something.


Imposter
 
2013-02-20 07:23:37 PM

downstairs: SkunkWerks: Bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli13: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
Bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli13: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli13: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
Bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli13: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli13: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli13: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f**king charge your ass.
j_gurli13: stop, cmon be serious.
Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
Bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli13: thats it.
Bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
Bloodninja: F**k am I hard now.

These are great... where are you getting them from?


Those are from bash.org...

/puts on his robe and wizard hat
 
2013-02-20 08:31:27 PM
Virgil Texas is an internet user and Brooklyn resident.

Shocker! I bet his earplugs are almost as big around as his birth control glasses.
 
2013-02-20 10:12:57 PM

downstairs: SkunkWerks: Bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli13: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
Bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli13: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli13: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
Bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli13: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli13: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli13: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f**king charge your ass.
j_gurli13: stop, cmon be serious.
Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
Bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli13: thats it.
Bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
Bloodninja: F**k am I hard now.

These are great... where are you getting them from?


Do you even internet bro?
 
2013-02-20 10:18:34 PM

freeforever: Those pickup attempts are NOT the work of pick-up artists, unless you consider anyone who sends suggestive texts  or is a "Night at the Roxbury" type an "artist".  The messages shown in the article are desperate men with ZERO knowledge of game who "shotgun" prospective women because they can't do any better.  A shotgun message is short, to-the-point and impersonal.  It doesn't matter if some of the profiles are fake because they're blasting all of them.  The idea is if you send them out to 1000 women at least one of them will bite.  In the physical world this would be the guy at the club who grabs the hand of every girl on the dance floor hoping one of them will be desperate/drunk enough to oblige.  The PUA community doesn't resort to this, hence the term "artist", but critics are too busy hating on them because they can't understand why PUAs actually get girls unlike the idiots you see spamming OKCupid profiles.


pick up artists are scammers who scam forever alones. There is no such thing as a true "pick up artist", unless he has something women otherwise find attractive (sense of humor, money, looks, fame, etc.)
 
2013-02-21 12:30:27 AM
media.ebaumsworld.com

/oblig
 
2013-02-21 01:57:56 AM
So, basically spam will eventually be crowded out by a bunch of Mark V. Shaney's, meat or silicon, talking to each other?

Can't be much worse than the scripts on the Politics tab.
 
2013-02-21 02:53:20 AM

freeforever: Those pickup attempts are NOT the work of pick-up artists, unless you consider anyone who sends suggestive texts  or is a "Night at the Roxbury" type an "artist".  The messages shown in the article are desperate men with ZERO knowledge of game who "shotgun" prospective women because they can't do any better.  A shotgun message is short, to-the-point and impersonal.  It doesn't matter if some of the profiles are fake because they're blasting all of them.  The idea is if you send them out to 1000 women at least one of them will bite.  In the physical world this would be the guy at the club who grabs the hand of every girl on the dance floor hoping one of them will be desperate/drunk enough to oblige.  The PUA community doesn't resort to this, hence the term "artist", but critics are too busy hating on them because they can't understand why PUAs actually get girls unlike the idiots you see spamming OKCupid profiles.


I don't know why, but I immediately pictured an overearnest Paul Ryan saying this.
 
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