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(Economist)   Evolution taught humans to stand upright to see over the savannah...except we started standing upright before the savannah came about. You win this round Creationism. But just wait until we talk about the appendix   (economist.com) divider line 34
    More: Interesting, evolution, savannahs, creationisms, grasslands  
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6813 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Feb 2013 at 8:35 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2013-02-20 08:57:53 AM
5 votes:
Human beings are so egocentric.  Hell, we even believed that the sun revolved around us.  And even at this point, many people still can't believe that there's intelligent life out there.  We're the most important, smartest, most adaptive, awesome creatures the universe has ever seen.

Want to hear the tiniest little laugh ever?  Tell a horseshoe crab how awesome you are.  It's been around for 445 million years.  Doesn't make the 200,000 years that homo sapiens have walked the earth seem that impressive does it?  And if you want to go back to earlier forms of humanoid, go ahead.  It still doesn't amount to much.

And so, with our tremendous knowledge and experience, we assume that walking on two legs is the evolutionary forward pass.  Wrong!  Doesn't it strike you as a little odd that the majority of mammals move about on four legs?  And the fossil records taken from mud imprints indicate that around 2.3 million years ago the homo habilis (one of the earliest human forms) actually hoped around on one leg.  These early creatures could be knocked over by a strong breeze.  They couldn't outrun anything.  As a species, they were doomed to failure.

Then came the homo erectus, the first two legged human-like mammal.  Two legs proved superior to one, but they were still no match for their four legged predators.  The four legged animals were more stable, stronger, faster, and smarter.  Why smarter?  They had more complete diets because they were apex predators.  Humans were mostly living off scraps and unprocessed grains at that point - not exactly brain boosters.

Then came the asteroid impact that triggered the massive volcanic eruptions.  The two legged creatures that were able to climb trees were able to escape the lava.  The four legged creatures were not.  That simple good-luck twist of fate moved human beings up the evolutionary ladder, but we're still on a path to evolve into four legged creatures.

Think about how much more you sit than your grandparents did.  Sitting is not a far cry from crawling.  In a few dozen generations, we'll laugh at pictures of people like Oscar Pistorius, with their fools goal of two functional legs.

Bottom line, don't assume that you are on the upswing of your species evolutionary path.  You're probably going extinct anyway.
2013-02-20 08:57:35 AM
5 votes:

Slackfumasta: gadian: Jake Havechek: If Adam and Eve only had 2 kids, both boys, and one killed the other, where did all the humans come from?

Answer me that, Jesus freaks!

Not a Jesus freak, but I think that the story goes that Adam and Eve had many, many children who all married each other.  I've also heard contradictory stories saying that there was a land of God's failed creations where Adam's first wife went off to live and that that's where the outside blood came from in the kid's marriages.  Obviously, no self-respecting Jewish mother would let her kids marry from God's rubbish bin, but there you go.

How could God possibly have 'failed' creations?


Disobedient giraffes
2013-02-20 11:33:39 AM
4 votes:

gadian: there was a land of God's failed creations...


www.yellowmaps.com
2013-02-20 11:19:35 AM
3 votes:
1000 Ways to Dye:

How did the trees escape the lava?

The trees were immune to the lava. Surely you've heard of a volcanic ash.
2013-02-20 08:49:40 AM
3 votes:
I did not know about this grassland theory. I always assumed that early hominids were scared into walking upright by a time-traveling Charlton Heston.
2013-02-20 10:59:33 AM
2 votes:

Ishkur: It wasn't because of the grass, it was because of our thumbs.

The more we started using our thumbs, the less we wanted to walk on our hands.


We needed our thumbs to roll the grass, so it was the grass.
2013-02-20 10:08:19 AM
2 votes:

stonicus: dennysgod: One interesting theory was this: We had a aquatic past.

Humans are the only primate with blubber, a thin layer of fat attached to the skin (and I'm not talking about the too many cheeseburger kinda fat). The only other mammals to have this are those that live all, or most of the time in water, otters, sea-lions dolphins, etc. Also most of these water living mammals have their hips tilted more vertically, like ours do, to make them more streamline for swimming, ours we now use to walk upright. So the theory goes is that at some point in our evolution we took to the shallows and lived a semi-aquatic life style. Other evidence for this is our larger brains, seafood is rich in protein, brain food. Also our noses stick out and are not flat like our chimpanzee cousins which works great at diverting water away from the nostrils when diving. Plus when they mapped out the hair follicles they are arrange to be hydrodynamic.

That theory also explains our weak sense of smell, not needed as much with an aquatic lifestyle...


I'm pretty sure our weak sense of smell is from natural selection.  If you weren't able to smell how awful everyone else smelled living in a one-room cave 24-7, then you were more likely to have sex with one of them, which in turn keeps your genes alive.  The picky smell sensitive people went outside and got eaten before they could have sex.

I should be a scientist.
2013-02-20 09:17:45 AM
2 votes:
lh5.googleusercontent.com
2013-02-20 09:15:59 AM
2 votes:
We evolved to stand up so that we could do things with our hands while we walked, such as using primitive iPhones.
d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net
2013-02-20 08:40:45 AM
2 votes:
"The tide goes in, the tide goes out: you can't explain that!"

-- Some stupid old guy who has his own TV show
2013-02-20 08:36:54 AM
2 votes:
I dont wanna live on this planet anymore.
2013-02-20 03:06:34 PM
1 votes:

Gandalf_is_dead: gadian:  He did also say that no one ever seriously suggested Christ was immaculately conceived until many centuries after his death.

Hopefully because the immaculate conception does not refer to Jesus, it was Mary that had to be immaculately conceived in order for Jesus to be born free from original sin.


Patriarchal society; Jesus inherited his nature from his Father.

farm1.staticflickr.com
2013-02-20 02:38:12 PM
1 votes:

spentmiles: The two legged creatures that were able to climb trees were able to escape the lava


um, you know what lava does to trees, right?
2013-02-20 02:11:45 PM
1 votes:

I drunk what: DaintySavage: sylwedydd: All these theories portend to the fact no one really knows anything - creationistas or evolutionistas. It is evident that there are those people inhabiting any particular time in history who think they 'KNOW' exactly as things are, when in fact nothing is really known. Both sides are mostly made up of inventinistas..Their need for certainty is merely a warm blanket they wrap themselves in; assurance that things are 'OK'. And of course the masses climb under the blanket too. Herd mentality.

/Now, would you please pass the parmesan and can I have some more of that delicious bordello too.

Seeing a bacteria develop the ability to use citrate as a nutrient source (over 20k+ generations while living on a citrate rich but normal nutrient poor media) when they did not originally have that ability seems like a text book case of evolution to me. I would like to see creationists provide some support of their theory that comes even close to that.

i'm ok you're ok


Meh.  I do parodies better.  Check out this thread where I was "doing a (fairly spot-on) parody of IDW"(Robseace)

I received glowing reviews:

"Ok, that was a nice touch... "
"You're so fun. I like you. "
"He's crazier than a rape squirrel on bath salts."
"I so very much hope IDW visits this thread... I want to see an IDW vs vactech death-match!"
2013-02-20 02:06:59 PM
1 votes:

Jake Havechek: If Adam and Eve only had 2 kids, both boys, and one killed the other, where did all the humans come from?

Answer me that, Jesus freaks!


The only "logical" answer:

i651.photobucket.com
2013-02-20 01:31:12 PM
1 votes:

WippitGuud: I drunk what: If creationism is true how come animals aren't still magically appearing? :D

They aren't? I read articles where we discover new species almost on a daily basis.


24.media.tumblr.com

i can see how ordinary scientific evolution would appear to be miraculous magic to a simpleton like yourself, but don't worry about rational logic let the adults handle it
2013-02-20 12:49:13 PM
1 votes:
The article writer is so blindingly stupid that they forgot that according to the jesus freaks, the African savannah has always been there.

How's that for a conundrum?
2013-02-20 12:10:59 PM
1 votes:
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com

LULZ, they are so sad and lonely
2013-02-20 12:09:38 PM
1 votes:
api.ning.com
2013-02-20 12:01:55 PM
1 votes:

Jake Havechek: If Adam and Eve only had 2 kids, both boys, and one killed the other, where did all the humans come from?

Answer me that, Jesus freaks!


Our holy father Prometheus created us from the soil of Mother Earth. Adam and Eve is just a myth created by apostates.
2013-02-20 11:52:51 AM
1 votes:

trappedspirit: gadian: I've also heard contradictory stories saying that there was a land of God's failed creations where Adam's first wife went off to live and that that's where the outside blood came from in the kid's marriages.

Wait...the bible has a land of misfit toys?


Not quite. I believe the OId Testament makes a reference to a Land of Misfit Goys.
2013-02-20 11:44:00 AM
1 votes:
I can't imagine what advantage walking upright would have?

Oh, yes I can.

redroom.com
/yay evolution
2013-02-20 11:09:35 AM
1 votes:
spentmiles:
Then came the asteroid impact that triggered the massive volcanic eruptions.  The two legged creatures that were able to climb trees were able to escape the lava.  The four legged creatures were not.  That simple good-luck twist of fate moved human beings up the evolutionary ladder, but we're still on a path to evolve into four legged creatures.

How did the trees escape the lava?
2013-02-20 10:02:50 AM
1 votes:

clane: Time Begins?  says who?
[www.gentilsalaud.com image 768x710]


Time magazine. Says so right there in the lower-right corner!
2013-02-20 09:47:01 AM
1 votes:

I_C_Weener: gadian: I_C_Weener: One word: tail gloves. Or maybe we'd call them socks.

Do you think we'd have to tuck them in and be ashamed of them?

Only if they were used for sexual purposes.  Like getting a taily instead of a handy from a prostitute.


Is that a tail in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?
2013-02-20 09:19:36 AM
1 votes:
Slackfumasta:

How could God possibly have 'failed' creations?

3.bp.blogspot.com
2013-02-20 09:07:22 AM
1 votes:

Graffito: God Is My Co-Pirate: Yet Darwin has no transitional evidence or solid foundation what so ever.

I hate that argument.  Every time a transitional form is discovered some window-licker comes along and asks, "well, what about the 2 new holes in the fossil record?"


felipec.files.wordpress.com
Flying Spaghetti Monster: Hey, Professor, I'm a Flying Spaghetti Monster. You seriously believe I've descended from some kind of flightless manicotti?
Farnsworth: Yes!
Banjo: Oh, please. A far more logical explanation is the undisprovable science of Creatureism. All life was created in its present form seven thousand years ago, by a fantastical creature from outer space!
Farnsworth: Bunk!
Banjo: Oh! If you elitist, East Coast evolution is real, why has no one found the missing link between modern humans and ancient apes?
Farnsworth: We did find it! It's called Homo erectus!
Banjo: Then you have proven my case, sir, for no one has found a link between apes and this Homo erectus.
Farnsworth: Yes, they have! It's called Homo habilis!
Banjo: Ah-ha! But no one has found the missing link between ape and this so called Homo habilis.
Farnsworth: Yes, they have! It's called Australopithecus africanus!
Banjo: Oh-ho! I've got you now!
[time passes]
Banjo: Fair enough, but where, then, is the missing link between apes and this Darwinius masillae? Answer me that, Professor!
Farnsworth: Okay, granted, that one missing link is still missing, but just because we haven't found it doesn't mean it doesn't exist!
Banjo: Things don't exist simply because you believe in them. Thus sayeth the Almighty Creature in the Sky!
2013-02-20 09:05:45 AM
1 votes:

jaggspb: nmemkha: Jake Havechek: If Adam and Eve only had 2 kids, both boys, and one killed the other, where did all the humans come from?

Answer me that, Jesus freaks!

Its an allegory genius. Dumb Christians of the Sky Wizarding World are smart enough to figure that out, so what does that say about you?

I get a kick out of those people that say yes this particular story is an allegory but Jesus soooooo definitely walked on water for realz!!!!eleventy


Jesus walked on water.  He forgot to tell everyone there were rocks underneath.
2013-02-20 08:53:10 AM
1 votes:

I_C_Weener: Son of Thunder: You got it backwards, subbo. TFA is saying that the grasslands were there first.

The point still stands. The appendix is where we put this nonsense to rest!


iheartguts.com

\still looking for the Table of Contents
2013-02-20 08:46:50 AM
1 votes:

gadian: Jake Havechek: If Adam and Eve only had 2 kids, both boys, and one killed the other, where did all the humans come from?

Answer me that, Jesus freaks!

Not a Jesus freak, but I think that the story goes that Adam and Eve had many, many children who all married each other.  I've also heard contradictory stories saying that there was a land of God's failed creations where Adam's first wife went off to live and that that's where the outside blood came from in the kid's marriages.  Obviously, no self-respecting Jewish mother would let her kids marry from God's rubbish bin, but there you go.


How could God possibly have 'failed' creations?
2013-02-20 08:44:04 AM
1 votes:

Son of Thunder: You got it backwards, subbo. TFA is saying that the grasslands were there first.


The point still stands. The appendix is where we put this nonsense to rest!
2013-02-20 08:43:30 AM
1 votes:
Oooh and the comments are off to a roaring start:


For Example,,We have a dozen theory's about aliens manipulating primates DNA for a labor force
advancing humanity beyond Darwin's wildest Dreams,,,Yet despite the Mountain of evidence mainstream refuses to look at it seriously..as though it is impossible so why bother looking.
The same thing happens every time New concepts are introduced..Yet Darwin has no transitional evidence or solid foundation what so ever..Same with Creationism..My better judgment says the jury is still out on this "origin of Man" issue.


Someone here needs to fess up. Of course, if that's not trolling, I weep for the future.
2013-02-20 08:40:41 AM
1 votes:
except we started standing upright before the savannah came about.

Reading fail.
2013-02-20 08:38:21 AM
1 votes:
If Adam and Eve only had 2 kids, both boys, and one killed the other, where did all the humans come from?

Answer me that, Jesus freaks!
 
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