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(CBS Houston)   Sheriff: "People spontaneously combust all the time. It's just not widely reported"   (houston.cbslocal.com) divider line 81
    More: Unlikely, sheriffs  
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6586 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Feb 2013 at 4:44 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-20 12:47:41 AM
 
2013-02-20 12:50:42 AM
Oh, yeah. And just like I've got an armadillo in my trousers. It's really quite frightening.
 
2013-02-20 12:55:15 AM

borg: Spontaneous Human Combustion of Dr. John Irving Bentley (NSFW -ish)


It's amazing that after going through all that he was left with a leg to stand on...
 
2013-02-20 01:20:14 AM
www.latimes.com
 
2013-02-20 01:25:08 AM
Madge's General Alarm Chili claims another victim
 
2013-02-20 02:09:08 AM
Wut?

media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-20 02:16:09 AM
Despite being 73% water, humans are highly flammable. A strong bowel movement, old, sharp bones rubbing together, or even metal fillings in the teeth can cause a spark, and that's all it takes.
 
2013-02-20 02:54:07 AM
Authorities say the man had a history of heavy drinking and smoking.

"Spontaneous" human combustion always involves someone blacked out from alcohol/drugs and a cigarette and there is nothing spontaneous about it. As mentioned, people will in fact go up like torches (you do know you're carrying around pounds of cooking oil with you don't you?) and can then burn out quickly leaving little around them damaged.
 
2013-02-20 04:46:53 AM
Sometimes people just explode.  Natural causes.
 
2013-02-20 04:47:57 AM
Wasn't there just a cancer-kid in a hospital who randomly burst into flames?
 
2013-02-20 04:49:59 AM
Oh mother don't be so sentimental people explode every day...

Link
 
2013-02-20 04:51:30 AM

vossiewulf: Authorities say the man had a history of heavy drinking and smoking.

"Spontaneous" human combustion always involves someone blacked out from alcohol/drugs and a cigarette and there is nothing spontaneous about it. As mentioned, people will in fact go up like torches (you do know you're carrying around pounds of cooking oil with you don't you?) and can then burn out quickly leaving little around them damaged.


^ people actually believe this
 
2013-02-20 04:52:04 AM

robohobo: Wasn't there just a cancer-kid in a hospital who randomly burst into flames?


Was he being treated with pure oxygen?
 
2013-02-20 04:55:43 AM

Yogimus: vossiewulf: Authorities say the man had a history of heavy drinking and smoking.

"Spontaneous" human combustion always involves someone blacked out from alcohol/drugs and a cigarette and there is nothing spontaneous about it. As mentioned, people will in fact go up like torches (you do know you're carrying around pounds of cooking oil with you don't you?) and can then burn out quickly leaving little around them damaged.

^ people actually believe this


Obese people burn just like whale oil.
 
2013-02-20 04:56:31 AM
www.warriorswithwesthusing.org
Too soon?
 
2013-02-20 04:57:27 AM

MooseUpNorth: robohobo: Wasn't there just a cancer-kid in a hospital who randomly burst into flames?

Was he being treated with pure oxygen?


http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/health/2013/02/19/girl-catches-fire-at-o re gon-hospital/
 
2013-02-20 04:59:31 AM

LavenderWolf: Yogimus: vossiewulf: Authorities say the man had a history of heavy drinking and smoking.

"Spontaneous" human combustion always involves someone blacked out from alcohol/drugs and a cigarette and there is nothing spontaneous about it. As mentioned, people will in fact go up like torches (you do know you're carrying around pounds of cooking oil with you don't you?) and can then burn out quickly leaving little around them damaged.

^ people actually believe this

Obese people burn just like whale oil.


Put the obese old ones on top of the pile for maximum effect.
 
2013-02-20 05:00:53 AM
   im widin' in my caw.....
 
2013-02-20 05:01:24 AM

phrawgh: [www.warriorswithwesthusing.org image 620x672]
Too soon?


pure win, cheers for making me laff

i49.tinypic.com

http://i49.tinypic.com/anl00.jpg
 
2013-02-20 05:01:30 AM
Funniest thing I ever saw on an episode of COPS was some guy trying to pretend he didn't know how his girlfriend got shot in the leg. Southern cop: "Yeah, I guess she was just walkin' down the street and her leg exploded. Spontaneous human combustion, it happens like that sometimes." Difference was, THAT Southern cop was being sarcastic.
 
2013-02-20 05:05:07 AM

robohobo: MooseUpNorth: robohobo: Wasn't there just a cancer-kid in a hospital who randomly burst into flames?

Was he being treated with pure oxygen?

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/health/2013/02/19/girl-catches-fire-at-o re gon-hospital/


The photo suggests to me that this is a 'yes'. The hand sanitizer her t-shirt came in contact with appears to have contributed. Volatile fuel + extra oxygen + ignition source (static electricity would do it at this point) = fire.
 
2013-02-20 05:07:14 AM

MooseUpNorth: robohobo: MooseUpNorth: robohobo: Wasn't there just a cancer-kid in a hospital who randomly burst into flames?

Was he being treated with pure oxygen?

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/health/2013/02/19/girl-catches-fire-at-o re gon-hospital/

The photo suggests to me that this is a 'yes'. The hand sanitizer her t-shirt came in contact with appears to have contributed. Volatile fuel + extra oxygen + ignition source (static electricity would do it at this point) = fire.


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-20 05:08:32 AM
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-02-20 05:14:07 AM

Big Ramifications: phrawgh: [www.warriorswithwesthusing.org image 620x672]
Too soon?

pure win, cheers for making me laff

[i49.tinypic.com image 383x237]

http://i49.tinypic.com/anl00.jpg


If you liked that, you're gonna love this!
www.jenniferleclaire.org
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
www.apfn.org
 
2013-02-20 05:18:25 AM

Yogimus: ^ people actually believe this


There've been multiple scientific studies that have proven Vossiewulf to be correct, and zero that have proven SHC to exist.

I used to be fascinated by the subject, but no, there's really no such thing.
 
2013-02-20 05:19:28 AM
He's your cop, Oklahoma.
 
2013-02-20 05:22:20 AM

Fluorescent Testicle: Yogimus: ^ people actually believe this

There've been multiple scientific studies that have proven Vossiewulf to be correct, and zero that have proven SHC to exist.

I used to be fascinated by the subject, but no, there's really no such thing.


Are you stating, here on a public forum, that Mr. Leonard Nimoy, past or present, is in any way party to a lie or half truth?
 
2013-02-20 05:31:34 AM

Fluorescent Testicle: Yogimus: ^ people actually believe this

There've been multiple scientific studies that have proven Vossiewulf to be correct, and zero that have proven SHC to exist.

I used to be fascinated by the subject, but no, there's really no such thing.


^This^

/too bad, cuz it's a great plot device for fiction
 
2013-02-20 05:40:07 AM
Pardon me while I burst


Intoooo flames
 
2013-02-20 05:40:47 AM
Piranha Brothers unavailable for comment
 
2013-02-20 05:41:21 AM

SomeoneDumb: /too bad, cuz it's a great plot device for fiction


"He just blew up one night."

"I'm hungry, let's get a taco."

Yeah, that could have really gone far.
 
2013-02-20 05:48:48 AM

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Sometimes people just explode.  Natural causes.


i14.photobucket.com

Bravo Citizen.
 
2013-02-20 05:49:17 AM
That's some fine police work there, Lou.
 
2013-02-20 06:01:29 AM
mostly in Vietnam I hear
 
2013-02-20 06:03:20 AM

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Sometimes people just explode.  Natural causes.


And sometimes the ghost of a murdered gangster is incinerating his enemies.

i759.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-20 06:03:38 AM
What a flamer

farm4.staticflickr.com
 
2013-02-20 06:03:49 AM
saw an excellent televised documentary from Europe on the subject. aside from investigating a few cases of alleged self-combustion leading to deaths they also interviewed two different families where one of them ignited (others were present to witness) but they were put out. the filmmakers didn't sensationalize, they tried to balance the bizarre with interviews of scientists and such, to reach common sense conclusions. good show.
 
2013-02-20 06:10:50 AM

phrawgh: Are you stating, here on a public forum, that Mr. Leonard Nimoy, past or present, is in any way party to a lie or half truth?


He used to pretend he was a half-alien traveling on a space ship every week on TV, so he is definitely a serial liar.
 
2013-02-20 06:12:55 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Despite being 73% water, humans are highly flammable. A strong bowel movement, old, sharp bones rubbing together, or even metal fillings in the teeth can cause a spark, and that's all it takes.


Like kindling on the surface of the sun
 
2013-02-20 06:13:51 AM

xria: phrawgh: Are you stating, here on a public forum, that Mr. Leonard Nimoy, past or present, is in any way party to a lie or half truth?

He used to pretend he was a half-alien traveling on a space ship every week on TV, so he is definitely a serial liar.


Can you give an example of a parallel liar?
 
2013-02-20 06:19:21 AM
Weirdnessn abounds. There were two suspisous suicides in that area in the last few months. One girl "killed herself" tied to a chair. Or at least the rumor mill is getting morbid.
 
2013-02-20 06:23:16 AM
I saw a tv program once which investigated this.  What they found was that every case of "spontaneous human combustion" involved a fat drunk person who was smoking and who passed out.  What happens is, the cigarette catches their clothes or bedding on fire, and then the fire starts burning them, and their body fat starts burning like a candle.
 
2013-02-20 06:25:12 AM
YOU LOOKED INTO THE TIME VORTEX ROSE! YOU HAVE ALL OF TIME AND SPACE RUNNIN' THROUGH YOUR HEAD! YOU GOTTA STOP! NOONE'S MEANT TO SEE THAT!

YER GONNA BURN, ROSE!


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-20 06:25:23 AM

redheededstepchild: Weirdnessn abounds. There were two suspisous suicides in that area in the last few months. One girl "killed herself" tied to a chair. Or at least the rumor mill is getting morbid.


If I were to ever off myself, without just taking the fun way out of a plane and ditching the parachute, I'd make it look like murder.

Hot air balloon held in teeth while you handcuff yourself behind your back to a chair, hot air balloon rising triggers a rigged pistol to fire, then carries the whole rig thousands of feet up, and away.

Voila, suicide by gunshot to the back of the head while handcuffed to a chair. Doing it tied would just present another difficulty level...
 
2013-02-20 06:26:32 AM

LavenderWolf: redheededstepchild: Weirdnessn abounds. There were two suspisous suicides in that area in the last few months. One girl "killed herself" tied to a chair. Or at least the rumor mill is getting morbid.

If I were to ever off myself, without just taking the fun way out of a plane and ditching the parachute, I'd make it look like murder.

Hot air balloon held in teeth while you handcuff yourself behind your back to a chair, hot air balloon rising triggers a rigged pistol to fire, then carries the whole rig thousands of feet up, and away.

Voila, suicide by gunshot to the back of the head while handcuffed to a chair. Doing it tied would just present another difficulty level...


Err, that should be helium balloon. I'm farking tired.
 
2013-02-20 06:29:50 AM

LavenderWolf: LavenderWolf: redheededstepchild: Weirdnessn abounds. There were two suspisous suicides in that area in the last few months. One girl "killed herself" tied to a chair. Or at least the rumor mill is getting morbid.

If I were to ever off myself, without just taking the fun way out of a plane and ditching the parachute, I'd make it look like murder.

Hot air balloon held in teeth while you handcuff yourself behind your back to a chair, hot air balloon rising triggers a rigged pistol to fire, then carries the whole rig thousands of feet up, and away.

Voila, suicide by gunshot to the back of the head while handcuffed to a chair. Doing it tied would just present another difficulty level...

Err, that should be helium balloon. I'm farking tired.


And morbid.
 
2013-02-20 06:35:40 AM

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Sometimes people just explode.  Natural causes.


Especially if they have that last  wafer thin mint....

mrcreosote.blog.com
 
2013-02-20 06:38:26 AM
Wanted for questioning:

i.neoseeker.com
 
2013-02-20 06:43:25 AM

Teriaki: LavenderWolf: LavenderWolf: redheededstepchild: Weirdnessn abounds. There were two suspisous suicides in that area in the last few months. One girl "killed herself" tied to a chair. Or at least the rumor mill is getting morbid.

If I were to ever off myself, without just taking the fun way out of a plane and ditching the parachute, I'd make it look like murder.

Hot air balloon held in teeth while you handcuff yourself behind your back to a chair, hot air balloon rising triggers a rigged pistol to fire, then carries the whole rig thousands of feet up, and away.

Voila, suicide by gunshot to the back of the head while handcuffed to a chair. Doing it tied would just present another difficulty level...

Err, that should be helium balloon. I'm farking tired.

And morbid.


And ripping off a csi plot.
 
2013-02-20 06:48:29 AM

LavenderWolf: LavenderWolf: redheededstepchild: Weirdnessn abounds. There were two suspisous suicides in that area in the last few months. One girl "killed herself" tied to a chair. Or at least the rumor mill is getting morbid.

If I were to ever off myself, without just taking the fun way out of a plane and ditching the parachute, I'd make it look like murder.

Hot air balloon held in teeth while you handcuff yourself behind your back to a chair, hot air balloon rising triggers a rigged pistol to fire, then carries the whole rig thousands of feet up, and away.

Voila, suicide by gunshot to the back of the head while handcuffed to a chair. Doing it tied would just present another difficulty level...

Err, that should be helium balloon. I'm farking tired.


Forensic investigators check for such shenanigans but unironically cool story bro.
/I'm more of a "live to see your enemies driven before you" sort of fellow, suicide only becomes an option to me if I'd feel it's inevitable my enemies will take my life and I'd want to rob them of that pleasure
 
2013-02-20 07:00:18 AM
The Sheriff didn't say that you asshole
 
2013-02-20 07:18:56 AM

LavenderWolf: xria: phrawgh: Are you stating, here on a public forum, that Mr. Leonard Nimoy, past or present, is in any way party to a lie or half truth?

He used to pretend he was a half-alien traveling on a space ship every week on TV, so he is definitely a serial liar.

Can you give an example of a parallel liar?


George Carlin... "Did you pack your bags yourself? No, Carrot Top packed my bags. He and Martha Stewart and Florence Henderson came over to the house last night. Fixed me a lovely lobster newburg, gave me a full body massage with sacred oils from India, performed a four-way around the world and then they packed my bags. Next question." I count at least 8 simultaneous lies all told in parallel...
 
2013-02-20 07:31:27 AM
 
2013-02-20 07:32:28 AM
People do not spontaneously combust.

Cows, on the other hand, are a different story. As anyone who has ever been near a pasture can attest, cows are notoriously flatulent creatures. All it takes is a bit of metal in their feed to spark together inside their complex gastrointestinal tracts to set off their vast storehouse of methane gas with the full explosive force of 50 pounds of TNT.

The Great Chicago Fire? There was no lamp. Mrs. O'Leary's cow was having a particularly farty day and her feed was a bit too rich in iron and that was the end of three square miles of city and hundreds of innocent lives.

If we weren't all here to do our part to cull their population by eating steaks and slightly horsey beefburgers it would be like a smellier version of World War Three out there.
 
2013-02-20 07:36:32 AM

LavenderWolf: Obese people burn just like whale oil.


This is why we need a  fat whale oil tax
www.funsponge.net
 
2013-02-20 07:56:04 AM
I remember a case like this in Chicago years ago.  A burning person on the sidewalk and the media went nuts about spontaneous combustion because there was absolutely nothing else that could have caused it.

/Except for the gasoline
//And the matches
 
2013-02-20 07:56:16 AM

abhorrent1: The Sheriff didn't say that you asshole


Wrong.  You can't get more wrong.  How much more wrong could you be?  None more wrong is the answer.
 
2013-02-20 07:59:40 AM

MythDragon: LavenderWolf: Obese people burn just like whale oil.

This is why we need a  fat whale oil tax
[www.funsponge.net image 620x348]


Whale oil beef hooked.
 
2013-02-20 08:01:26 AM

Point02GPA: LavenderWolf: Yogimus: vossiewulf: Authorities say the man had a history of heavy drinking and smoking.

"Spontaneous" human combustion always involves someone blacked out from alcohol/drugs and a cigarette and there is nothing spontaneous about it. As mentioned, people will in fact go up like torches (you do know you're carrying around pounds of cooking oil with you don't you?) and can then burn out quickly leaving little around them damaged.

^ people actually believe this

Obese people burn just like whale oil.

Put the obese old ones on top of the pile for maximum effect.


YOu were never a Boy Sprout wuz ya?
 
2013-02-20 08:19:40 AM

publikenemy: Pardon me while I burst


Intoooo flames


I guess the guy just needed a welcome vacation from the burdens of the planet Earth.
 
2013-02-20 08:21:37 AM
Well, "spontaneous" combustion in the same sense as "accidental" discharge of a firearm is known to happen, sure.  But that sense involves a lot of sarcasm quotes and the actual word you're looking for is "negligent".

Negligent human combustion, resulting from the dumbass doing something farking stupid that lights him on fire without him being aware of the possibility until he's already aflame.

//Most "spontaneous combustion" is ignited by a cigarette, and accelerated by alcohol or gas, for instance.
 
2013-02-20 08:38:56 AM
Can you give an example of a parallel liar?

Congress.
 
2013-02-20 09:21:05 AM
It's true. I spotaneously combusted last night and nobdoy called the media.

/got better
 
2013-02-20 09:25:09 AM

Jim_Callahan: Well, "spontaneous" combustion in the same sense as "accidental" discharge of a firearm is known to happen, sure.  But that sense involves a lot of sarcasm quotes and the actual word you're looking for is "negligent".

Negligent human combustion, resulting from the dumbass doing something farking stupid that lights him on fire without him being aware of the possibility until he's already aflame.

//Most "spontaneous combustion" is ignited by a cigarette, and accelerated by alcohol or gas, for instance.


All accounts are similar in nature: highly intoxicated or unconscious near an open fire source (lit cigarette burning their highly flammable clothing or a fireplace with popping embers), overweight victim that leaves strange oily substance on the chair they were sitting on (melted fat) by a small fire that rarely goes beyond the victim or what they were sitting on. Basically, a rare situation that leaves them cooked alive due to their own stupidity. There was a really good PBS investigation about five years ago where they even tested the possibility of that situation occurring using the same materials they were finding in common between the cases, and it was easier then even they suspected.
 
2013-02-20 09:38:25 AM
The comments in TFA are priceless.
 
2013-02-20 09:45:31 AM
latimesblogs.latimes.com


"People spontaneously combust  Cows turn themselves inside out all the time"
 
2013-02-20 09:52:40 AM
It wasn't widely known, but Miss Havisham was a heavy drinker and smoker, also.
 
2013-02-20 10:17:42 AM

99.998er: It wasn't widely known, but Miss Havisham was a heavy drinker and smoker, also.


Great look, good drummer
 
2013-02-20 10:23:56 AM

AcesFull: im widin' in my caw.....


 Did not expect that reference, nice one.

/oooooh-ooooooh...fiiyaahh
 
2013-02-20 10:39:55 AM
I saw this on TV.
 
2013-02-20 10:59:36 AM
the Paw Paw Negro Blowtorch begs to  differ
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paw_Paw_Negro_Blowtorch

Paging Dr. Eno, Dr. Eno to the ER stat
 
2013-02-20 11:34:55 AM
"What would happen if you melted? You know, you never really hear this talked about much, but spontaneous combustion? It exists! [People] burn from within... sometimes they'll be in a wooden chair and the chair won't burn, but there'll be nothing left of the person. Except sometimes his teeth. Or the heart. No one speaks about this, but its for real."

static.guim.co.uk
 
kgf
2013-02-20 12:35:38 PM

Sub Human: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Sometimes people just explode.  Natural causes.

[i14.photobucket.com image 310x163]

Bravo Citizen.


Thank you.  Came here looking for this.  It's like when you're thinking about a plate of shrimp, and suddenly somebody says plate, or shrimp.  Aint no reason.  Aint no use looking for one.
 
2013-02-20 12:54:41 PM
First thought: "Do people ever spontaneously combust?" / "Umm, not that I know of..." / *POW!* / "Did I fool you?" / "If you're looking for ways to make yourself useful, I have a few ideas. [paraphrase]"

Second thought: "And as the screaming fire-engine sirens filled the air, the evidence had vanished from my charred and smoking chair..."
 
2013-02-20 02:06:30 PM

Alex Broughton Butt Chugger: Teriaki: LavenderWolf: LavenderWolf: redheededstepchild: Weirdnessn abounds. There were two suspisous suicides in that area in the last few months. One girl "killed herself" tied to a chair. Or at least the rumor mill is getting morbid.

If I were to ever off myself, without just taking the fun way out of a plane and ditching the parachute, I'd make it look like murder.

Hot air balloon held in teeth while you handcuff yourself behind your back to a chair, hot air balloon rising triggers a rigged pistol to fire, then carries the whole rig thousands of feet up, and away.

Voila, suicide by gunshot to the back of the head while handcuffed to a chair. Doing it tied would just present another difficulty level...

Err, that should be helium balloon. I'm farking tired.

And morbid.

And ripping off a csi plot.


Is it? I don't watch procedural police dramas. Well, unless you count Dexter.
 
2013-02-20 02:07:47 PM

RobSeace: LavenderWolf: xria: phrawgh: Are you stating, here on a public forum, that Mr. Leonard Nimoy, past or present, is in any way party to a lie or half truth?

He used to pretend he was a half-alien traveling on a space ship every week on TV, so he is definitely a serial liar.

Can you give an example of a parallel liar?

George Carlin... "Did you pack your bags yourself? No, Carrot Top packed my bags. He and Martha Stewart and Florence Henderson came over to the house last night. Fixed me a lovely lobster newburg, gave me a full body massage with sacred oils from India, performed a four-way around the world and then they packed my bags. Next question." I count at least 8 simultaneous lies all told in parallel...


Amazing, I wonder what his total LPS throughput is. (Lies Per Second)
 
2013-02-20 02:41:41 PM
What's he smoking?
 
2013-02-20 02:50:49 PM

LavenderWolf: Alex Broughton Butt Chugger: Teriaki: LavenderWolf: LavenderWolf: redheededstepchild: Weirdnessn abounds. There were two suspisous suicides in that area in the last few months. One girl "killed herself" tied to a chair. Or at least the rumor mill is getting morbid.

If I were to ever off myself, without just taking the fun way out of a plane and ditching the parachute, I'd make it look like murder.

Hot air balloon held in teeth while you handcuff yourself behind your back to a chair, hot air balloon rising triggers a rigged pistol to fire, then carries the whole rig thousands of feet up, and away.

Voila, suicide by gunshot to the back of the head while handcuffed to a chair. Doing it tied would just present another difficulty level...

Err, that should be helium balloon. I'm farking tired.

And morbid.

And ripping off a csi plot.

Is it? I don't watch procedural police dramas. Well, unless you count Dexter.


Yep, I remember that episode... And, it looks like someone has gone and copied it for real, too...
 
2013-02-20 05:20:48 PM

reillan: publikenemy: Pardon me while I burst


Intoooo flames

I guess the guy just needed a welcome vacation from the burdens of the planet Earth.





Phew..glad I checked back in on this thread. My faith in Fark continues unabated.

Took long enough though
 
2013-02-21 01:07:05 AM
Vague disappointment in only 3 total spinal tap refs.
 
2013-02-21 07:26:53 AM
i64.photobucket.com

because sometimes their brains and sex organs are made of M80's
 
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