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(Some Fake Fieri)   Guy Fieri forgot to buy the domain name of his restaurant, but since this is Fark, you can bet someone else did, and hilarity ensued   (guysamericankitchenandbar.com) divider line 57
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25891 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Feb 2013 at 9:08 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-02-19 09:33:20 PM  
9 votes:

Canned Tamales: Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole page devoted to lame jokes about a person who has actually been quite successful on mediocre talents.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam Guy Fieri to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even get something published on Gawker or Jezebel someday.  I'll be too busy watching Triple D reruns to read it, but that's cool.


Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole reply devoted to lame insults directed at a person who has actually been quite successful making people in a Fark thread laugh.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam random guys on the internet to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even... no, scratch that. No one will ever care.  I'll be too busy enjoying things on the internet to care, but that's cool.
2013-02-19 09:20:58 PM  
9 votes:
lol printed and put in work's menu binder.
2013-02-19 09:13:43 PM  
7 votes:
the Ranch Hose is never optional, dude
2013-02-19 06:59:01 PM  
7 votes:

SnakeLee: link farked


It's not Farked...  It's a Flavor Town Dumpster Fire.
2013-02-19 09:44:45 PM  
6 votes:

Canned Tamales: Pappas: Canned Tamales: Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole page devoted to lame jokes about a person who has actually been quite successful on mediocre talents.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam Guy Fieri to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even get something published on Gawker or Jezebel someday.  I'll be too busy watching Triple D reruns to read it, but that's cool.

Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole reply devoted to lame insults directed at a person who has actually been quite successful making people in a Fark thread laugh.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam random guys on the internet to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even... no, scratch that. No one will ever care.  I'll be too busy enjoying things on the internet to care, but that's cool.


I really didn't think any of you hosers would bite, thanks for the laughs!  You probably put out more effort than the person that made the menu...

/still likes Triple D


lol.i.trollyou.com

I'm sure Guy will at least give you a quick handy for your efforts.
2013-02-19 09:46:26 PM  
5 votes:
TONIGHT'S .38 SPECIAL FLAVORTOWN RIOTS:

Porked Watermelon 'n Garlic Guy Style 57.75
An entire farking watermelon hollowed out and stuffed with ground pork that's been doused with our secret scotch bonnet-lemon ammonia sauce and garnished with crispy plastic wrap trimmings, then the whole mess is stuck back together with a 14" skewer of unpeeled garlic cloves.
 

Fiediculous Horsetellini A La Brazillicada 44.95
Our home-torqued jicama-artichoke flour tortellini (donut-sized!) filled with braised loin of horsemeat in a candied pearl onion and salt-potato reduction, tossed with Cinnabon-dipped brazil nuts and garnished with freshly gathered cicada hulls.

Mayo On A Stick 32.95
 Come to the flavor fair with this midway favorite gone XTREEM with a cracklin' fried pocket of breaded white bread filled with Guy's own blend of Hellmann's, Miracle Whip, tartar sauce, a little more Miracle Whip and just a pinch of Mexican Velveeta. Served dangerously hot on an authentic vintage paint stirrer.
2013-02-19 11:41:12 PM  
4 votes:
Oh, and let me just say, Guy Fieri is the Michael Bay of the culinary arts.
2013-02-19 09:20:54 PM  
4 votes:
I hope the have a copyright on that joke menu, because Guy is likely to use it if they don't.
2013-02-19 08:29:20 PM  
4 votes:
wait...that's fake?
2013-02-20 12:53:49 AM  
3 votes:
I'm pretty sure what we just witnessed was actually a window into our Idiocracy future and that was actually Guys menu from 2505, the year of the Great Trash Avalanche.
2013-02-19 09:30:12 PM  
3 votes:

Canned Tamales: Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole page devoted to lame jokes about a person who has actually been quite successful on mediocre talents.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam Guy Fieri to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even get something published on Gawker or Jezebel someday.  I'll be too busy watching Triple D reruns to read it, but that's cool.


Yeah. Opening photoshop and making a single jpeg is a hella commitment yo.
2013-02-19 09:28:59 PM  
3 votes:
Niiiice. It's been a while since I laughed till I farted.
2013-02-19 09:23:38 PM  
3 votes:
The internet is up for grabs for whoever can print and laminate these and replace the menus with these! Hidden camera results required for winning entry.
2013-02-19 09:05:29 PM  
3 votes:
Whoever bought the domain name has put it to far more creative use than Fieri ever could.
2013-02-19 07:30:46 PM  
3 votes:
"served with a side of Bud Light you have to wring out of an Hawaiian shirt."

That...is poetry.
2013-02-20 03:52:42 AM  
2 votes:

LadyBelgara: What, no dessert?  Man, fark this place.

/lost it over Football: The Meal


Oh, there's dessert. There's so much dessert your brain's gonna pop out of your head and do backflips. The Liquid Nitrogen C4 Explosion starts with 14 gallons of teriyaki chocolate ice cream sprinkled with goose shavings kept in a freezer for two weeks. Then we pack the whole thing around a dulce de leche center and BLOW IT UP WITH A BRICK OF C4 RIGHT IN YO' MOUTH!
2013-02-20 02:59:35 AM  
2 votes:
i1.kym-cdn.com
I hate that guy so, so much... that ridiculous rock star look, that hair, that studded leather wristband!!!  I just wish someone would take that stupid leather band off his wrist and use it like brass knuckles and punch the smile off his face... then force the cameraman to get a close up of the blood oozing out of his nose and mouth.
Then ask him how that tastes.
2013-02-19 09:58:26 PM  
2 votes:
i.imgur.com

Click to embiggen
2013-02-19 09:56:07 PM  
2 votes:

SnakeLee: link farked


I guess I'm too late and missed it.  It looks like a normal Guy Fieri menu now.
2013-02-19 09:42:37 PM  
2 votes:

Canned Tamales: Which explains most of fark, really.


So, you're here to do what? Police us? Thank god!
2013-02-19 09:36:56 PM  
2 votes:
This one made me lose my sh*t:

"Football: The Meal -$19.95""Warm, broken hamburgers, served in a clear plastic bag enclosed in a larger, black trash bag. Thrown at you from 40 yards."
2013-02-19 09:36:37 PM  
2 votes:

Canned Tamales: steve-0: Canned Tamales: Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole page devoted to lame jokes about a person who has actually been quite successful on mediocre talents.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam Guy Fieri to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even get something published on Gawker or Jezebel someday.  I'll be too busy watching Triple D reruns to read it, but that's cool.

i bet you cry whenever they parody him on SNL, too.

I bet you cry whenever you think about your life.

Which explains most of fark, really.


Holy crap, this guy is REALLY butthurt over this.
2013-02-19 08:49:13 PM  
2 votes:

Triumph: wait...that's fake?


Yeah, I couldn't tell either. It's like a new version of Poe's Law for spiky-haired greasy douchebags.
2013-02-19 06:45:44 PM  
2 votes:
In honor of this I'm growing a signature Guy Creepy Bleached WTF IS THAT on the Chin Goateepube thingie..
2013-02-19 06:39:56 PM  
2 votes:
I want to add a Cinnabon and two more Cinnabons.
2013-02-20 10:06:47 AM  
1 votes:

SageC: [i1.kym-cdn.com image 241x178]
I hate that guy so, so much... that ridiculous rock star look, that hair, that studded leather wristband!!!  I just wish someone would take that stupid leather band off his wrist and use it like brass knuckles and punch the smile off his face... then force the cameraman to get a close up of the blood oozing out of his nose and mouth.
Then ask him how that tastes.


its not so much the taste, as it is it the taste balancing out the texture, and having the whole thing come together as a cohesive dish
2013-02-20 09:30:02 AM  
1 votes:

SageC: [i1.kym-cdn.com image 241x178]
I hate that guy so, so much... that ridiculous rock star look, that hair, that studded leather wristband!!!  I just wish someone would take that stupid leather band off his wrist and use it like brass knuckles and punch the smile off his face... then force the cameraman to get a close up of the blood oozing out of his nose and mouth.
Then ask him how that tastes.


You know, I was suspect of this at first.  Metal and leather just didn't seem like a winning mash up.  But I have to hand it to you man.  That tanning sauce used really amps of the flavor of the hide.  The studs on this mamma-jamma give it just the right amount of texture and pop.  The finish of the red sauce used has a nice acidic tang to it, really adds that zing, ya' know?  I have to say, this, right here my man, is real deal and it just up and slapped in me the face.    Peace...

<Fist-Bump>
2013-02-20 01:57:30 AM  
1 votes:

Canned Tamales: Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole page devoted to lame jokes about a person who has actually been quite successful on mediocre talents.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam Guy Fieri to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even get something published on Gawker or Jezebel someday.  I'll be too busy watching Triple D reruns to read it, but that's cool.


Guy?
2013-02-20 01:42:31 AM  
1 votes:

lackadaisicalfreakshow: Niiiice. It's been a while since I laughed till I farted.


You're not eating enough
Try Soda water and broccoli with greasy cold cuts.That'll get your pooper in the game
2013-02-20 01:40:18 AM  
1 votes:

Sgt Otter: Interesting fact:  Melissa McCarthy from "Bridesmaids" helped formed her character's obnoxious and annoying personality by basing her off of Guy Fieri.


If that's really true, that's so money.
2013-02-20 01:36:02 AM  
1 votes:
Interesting fact:  Melissa McCarthy from "Bridesmaids" helped formed her character's obnoxious and annoying personality by basing her off of Guy Fieri.
2013-02-20 01:08:15 AM  
1 votes:

sirgrim: lol printed and put in work's menu binder.


That's brilliant! I'm going to have to do that too!
2013-02-20 12:01:05 AM  
1 votes:

Canned Tamales: Pappas: Canned Tamales: Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole page devoted to lame jokes about a person who has actually been quite successful on mediocre talents.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam Guy Fieri to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even get something published on Gawker or Jezebel someday.  I'll be too busy watching Triple D reruns to read it, but that's cool.

Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole reply devoted to lame insults directed at a person who has actually been quite successful making people in a Fark thread laugh.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam random guys on the internet to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even... no, scratch that. No one will ever care.  I'll be too busy enjoying things on the internet to care, but that's cool.


I really didn't think any of you hosers would bite, thanks for the laughs!  You probably put out more effort than the person that made the menu...

/still likes Triple D


OMG, you like totally trolled everyone dude!  You the man.  I wanna be you when I grow up.
2013-02-19 11:38:54 PM  
1 votes:

JWideman: Gosling: Here's the thing about Guy. He made his name by winning a reality-TV competition literally called The Next Food Network Star.

Seriously?!? That explains a lot, really.


Yeah, he gained national attention that way, but he's had a restaurant, Johnny Garlic's, here in Santa Rosa, CA (wine country north of SF) for many years. We've never eaten there, but it got some notice when it burned down and we would drive past the ashen husk for a while. He rebuilt it and also opened a new horror shack called Tex Wasabi, where he profanes sushi rice by filling it with barbequed meat. We've never eaten there either. Then he opened the same two restaurant "concepts" in Sacramento, as well. So, anyway, locals have known about him for a while, and some of us knew enough not to eat in his restaurants even before he opened the monstrosity in New York.

/too much great food around here to waste a taste bud on him
//still like Triple D
2013-02-19 11:05:27 PM  
1 votes:

Grand_Theft_Audio: Is possible to change my fark handle to Donkamole?


The next time I go to a trivia night, my team name might have to be The Hobo Lobo Bordello Slam Jam.
2013-02-19 10:58:32 PM  
1 votes:
What, no dessert?  Man, fark this place.

/lost it over Football: The Meal
2013-02-19 10:58:02 PM  
1 votes:
long ago Ron in the warehouse was out for quite a while, all sorts of sick. Ron was the poster child of homophobe; when he was first dating the girl he later married they went to dinner in NYC. Ron saw two fellows sharing a tender moment on a sidewalk in SoHo and tried to run them over with his car.

instead of having everyone sign a blank posterboard with well wishes I gathered the troops for a brain storming session. we created a mock Chinese Take Out Menu to send to Ron. every dish name and description was chock full of offensive ghey double entendre. the finished product truly was a FARK worthy effort.

bonus points for Ron's children finding and reading the Menu, with many questions that followed. Ron was real pleased about that.
2013-02-19 10:51:02 PM  
1 votes:

Canned Tamales: Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole page devoted to lame jokes about a person who has actually been quite successful on mediocre talents.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam Guy Fieri to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even get something published on Gawker or Jezebel someday.  I'll be too busy watching Triple D reruns to read it, but that's cool.


10/10.  Calling the show "Triple D" like a real fan is the perfect finishing touch.
2013-02-19 10:09:32 PM  
1 votes:
I'll take The Olive Garden....

22 pounds of kalamata olives for $15.90? That's the deal of the century!
2013-02-19 09:43:58 PM  
1 votes:
Which guy's fiero?
2013-02-19 09:40:03 PM  
1 votes:
media.comicvine.com
2013-02-19 09:39:34 PM  
1 votes:

Pappas: Canned Tamales: Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole page devoted to lame jokes about a person who has actually been quite successful on mediocre talents.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam Guy Fieri to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even get something published on Gawker or Jezebel someday.  I'll be too busy watching Triple D reruns to read it, but that's cool.

Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole reply devoted to lame insults directed at a person who has actually been quite successful making people in a Fark thread laugh.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam random guys on the internet to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even... no, scratch that. No one will ever care.  I'll be too busy enjoying things on the internet to care, but that's cool.



I really didn't think any of you hosers would bite, thanks for the laughs!  You probably put out more effort than the person that made the menu...

/still likes Triple D
2013-02-19 09:33:27 PM  
1 votes:
Do they deliver?
+1 subby
2013-02-19 09:32:23 PM  
1 votes:

Canned Tamales: Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole page devoted to lame jokes about a person who has actually been quite successful on mediocre talents.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam Guy Fieri to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even get something published on Gawker or Jezebel someday.  I'll be too busy watching Triple D reruns to read it, but that's cool.


foodnetworkhumor.com
2013-02-19 09:31:41 PM  
1 votes:
Bold flavors, brah.
2013-02-19 09:29:22 PM  
1 votes:

Canned Tamales: Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole page devoted to lame jokes about a person who has actually been quite successful on mediocre talents.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam Guy Fieri to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even get something published on Gawker or Jezebel someday.  I'll be too busy watching Triple D reruns to read it, but that's cool.


i bet you cry whenever they parody him on SNL, too.
2013-02-19 09:27:44 PM  
1 votes:
Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole page devoted to lame jokes about a person who has actually been quite successful on mediocre talents.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam Guy Fieri to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even get something published on Gawker or Jezebel someday.  I'll be too busy watching Triple D reruns to read it, but that's cool.
2013-02-19 09:24:52 PM  
1 votes:
I want the Prufocktoberfest.

well done.
2013-02-19 09:23:27 PM  
1 votes:
Sign me up for the Pyromania
2013-02-19 09:14:51 PM  
1 votes:

Confabulat: Whoever bought the domain name has put it to far more creative use than Fieri ever could.


Better taste, too.
2013-02-19 09:14:26 PM  
1 votes:
I was ready for this to be half-assed satire, but damn that was funny.
2013-02-19 08:51:21 PM  
1 votes:
Superbowl Bash Bro-det:
A bidet jammed to the brim with bubbling, overflowing Velveeta over a hidden layer of hamburger-fisted pig skins and a generous sprinkling of Dirty South Couch Crumbs. The bidet is an MP3 player that plays Smash Mouth while you eat. Serves one.


My cat is now covered in coffee, thank you very much .jpeg creator.
2013-02-19 08:34:50 PM  
1 votes:
That's funny but @dadboner's Guy Fieri menu is way more off the chain.
2013-02-19 07:22:14 PM  
1 votes:
I'm a shaaaark!!11
2013-02-19 06:57:19 PM  
1 votes:

SnakeLee: link farked


I got in fine.

Link to my Photobucket since it's too big to post inline.
2013-02-19 06:41:11 PM  
1 votes:
That is totally off the chain, yo!  I want to cover that whole page in Guy's signature Donkey Juice, batter it in deep-fried cheeseburger drippings, and serve it in a Cleveland Browns' helmet that's been fried in bacon.
2013-02-19 06:29:42 PM  
1 votes:
+1
 
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