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(Some Fake Fieri)   Guy Fieri forgot to buy the domain name of his restaurant, but since this is Fark, you can bet someone else did, and hilarity ensued   (guysamericankitchenandbar.com) divider line 45
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25886 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Feb 2013 at 9:08 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-02-19 11:41:12 PM
5 votes:
Oh, and let me just say, Guy Fieri is the Michael Bay of the culinary arts.
2013-02-19 09:05:29 PM
4 votes:
Whoever bought the domain name has put it to far more creative use than Fieri ever could.
2013-02-19 09:44:45 PM
3 votes:

Canned Tamales: Pappas: Canned Tamales: Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole page devoted to lame jokes about a person who has actually been quite successful on mediocre talents.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam Guy Fieri to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even get something published on Gawker or Jezebel someday.  I'll be too busy watching Triple D reruns to read it, but that's cool.

Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole reply devoted to lame insults directed at a person who has actually been quite successful making people in a Fark thread laugh.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam random guys on the internet to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even... no, scratch that. No one will ever care.  I'll be too busy enjoying things on the internet to care, but that's cool.


I really didn't think any of you hosers would bite, thanks for the laughs!  You probably put out more effort than the person that made the menu...

/still likes Triple D


lol.i.trollyou.com

I'm sure Guy will at least give you a quick handy for your efforts.
2013-02-19 09:36:45 PM
3 votes:

Canned Tamales: Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole page devoted to lame jokes about a person who has actually been quite successful on mediocre talents.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam Guy Fieri to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even get something published on Gawker or Jezebel someday.  I'll be too busy watching Triple D reruns to read it, but that's cool.


Here's the thing about Guy. He made his name by winning a reality-TV competition literally called The Next Food Network Star. He won a competition that was more about being a TV personality than cooking ability. As such, no matter what crazy shiat he piled on a plate, he could get away with it, because few people who watched him on TV actually had a chance to eat his food and realize he actually can't cook for shiat.

When he opened a restaurant in Times Square, people had a chance to eat his food. When he put his name on a Sam's Club S'mores pizza with surprise peppers, people had a chance to eat his food. Public opinion is wildly negative among people who have eaten his food and found it to be a random horrifying assortment of buzzword ingredients. And now Guy's taking a sudden, steady nosedive in public opinion for it.
2013-02-19 09:36:37 PM
3 votes:

Canned Tamales: steve-0: Canned Tamales: Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole page devoted to lame jokes about a person who has actually been quite successful on mediocre talents.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam Guy Fieri to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even get something published on Gawker or Jezebel someday.  I'll be too busy watching Triple D reruns to read it, but that's cool.

i bet you cry whenever they parody him on SNL, too.

I bet you cry whenever you think about your life.

Which explains most of fark, really.


Holy crap, this guy is REALLY butthurt over this.
2013-02-19 09:33:20 PM
3 votes:

Canned Tamales: Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole page devoted to lame jokes about a person who has actually been quite successful on mediocre talents.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam Guy Fieri to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even get something published on Gawker or Jezebel someday.  I'll be too busy watching Triple D reruns to read it, but that's cool.


Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole reply devoted to lame insults directed at a person who has actually been quite successful making people in a Fark thread laugh.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam random guys on the internet to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even... no, scratch that. No one will ever care.  I'll be too busy enjoying things on the internet to care, but that's cool.
2013-02-20 02:59:35 AM
2 votes:
i1.kym-cdn.com
I hate that guy so, so much... that ridiculous rock star look, that hair, that studded leather wristband!!!  I just wish someone would take that stupid leather band off his wrist and use it like brass knuckles and punch the smile off his face... then force the cameraman to get a close up of the blood oozing out of his nose and mouth.
Then ask him how that tastes.
2013-02-19 11:52:30 PM
2 votes:
This is the guy behind the menu:

https://twitter.com/BryanMytko
2013-02-19 10:14:35 PM
2 votes:

Gosling: Here's the thing about Guy. He made his name by winning a reality-TV competition literally called The Next Food Network Star.


Seriously?!? That explains a lot, really.
2013-02-19 09:58:26 PM
2 votes:
i.imgur.com

Click to embiggen
2013-02-19 09:26:03 PM
2 votes:
Win
2013-02-19 08:29:20 PM
2 votes:
wait...that's fake?
2013-02-19 06:33:21 PM
2 votes:
Buuaaahahaahaaaaaa!

The whole page is a giant JPG, so grab it while you can!
2013-02-20 03:12:01 AM
1 votes:

frostus: As the father of a chef I found that to be pretty damn hilarious. Forwarded to the family; hope it stays up long enough for them to read it.


Chef's mother here. I couldn't send that link over fast enough. Very snert worthy.
2013-02-20 12:53:49 AM
1 votes:
I'm pretty sure what we just witnessed was actually a window into our Idiocracy future and that was actually Guys menu from 2505, the year of the Great Trash Avalanche.
2013-02-20 12:35:24 AM
1 votes:
Brings up fond memories of Patton Oswalt's bit on Black Angus.
2013-02-20 12:13:36 AM
1 votes:
Don't want to white knight the guy, as I could never do it as well as  canned tamales, but Guy is too easy a target. Making fun of the retarded, fatsos, and women is too easy, so there's no real humor in it. He serves something called donkey sauce without a hint of irony, can you really debase him more than he's already done to himself?
2013-02-20 12:01:05 AM
1 votes:

Canned Tamales: Pappas: Canned Tamales: Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole page devoted to lame jokes about a person who has actually been quite successful on mediocre talents.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam Guy Fieri to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even get something published on Gawker or Jezebel someday.  I'll be too busy watching Triple D reruns to read it, but that's cool.

Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole reply devoted to lame insults directed at a person who has actually been quite successful making people in a Fark thread laugh.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam random guys on the internet to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even... no, scratch that. No one will ever care.  I'll be too busy enjoying things on the internet to care, but that's cool.


I really didn't think any of you hosers would bite, thanks for the laughs!  You probably put out more effort than the person that made the menu...

/still likes Triple D


OMG, you like totally trolled everyone dude!  You the man.  I wanna be you when I grow up.
2013-02-19 11:31:41 PM
1 votes:

Canned Tamales: Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole page devoted to lame jokes about a person who has actually been quite successful on mediocre talents.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam Guy Fieri to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even get something published on Gawker or Jezebel someday.  I'll be too busy watching Triple D reruns to read it, but that's cool.


I think we have found Guy Ferry's fark handle.
2013-02-19 10:58:32 PM
1 votes:
What, no dessert?  Man, fark this place.

/lost it over Football: The Meal
2013-02-19 10:58:02 PM
1 votes:
long ago Ron in the warehouse was out for quite a while, all sorts of sick. Ron was the poster child of homophobe; when he was first dating the girl he later married they went to dinner in NYC. Ron saw two fellows sharing a tender moment on a sidewalk in SoHo and tried to run them over with his car.

instead of having everyone sign a blank posterboard with well wishes I gathered the troops for a brain storming session. we created a mock Chinese Take Out Menu to send to Ron. every dish name and description was chock full of offensive ghey double entendre. the finished product truly was a FARK worthy effort.

bonus points for Ron's children finding and reading the Menu, with many questions that followed. Ron was real pleased about that.
2013-02-19 10:54:58 PM
1 votes:
OK, I'll admit that I enjoy watching DDD, some of the restaurants he visits look pretty good.

That said, Guy Fieri's own restaurants are teh suck. He has both Tex Wasabi's and Johnny Garlics in the Sacramento region, and while Johnny Garlics is merely meh (nothing overtly wrong with the food, just uninspired and overpriced), the Tex Wasabi is beyond horrible. Returned an order of garlic fries that had a small bug in it, only to receive...the exact same plate of fries, sans the bug. Not surprising, since they cater to 20-somethings who go there to get drunk and don't care about the quality of their food or service, but it was disgusting just the same. I complained to the server, who could not possibly have given 2 shiats if her life depended on it.

Aside from threads in the Politics dungeon, I haven't seen such universal hatred toward a pop celeb since the Thomas Kinkade (Painter of Light ™) threads. Reading Guy Fieri threads actually makes watching DDD more enjoyable, just to catch the mannerisms and jingo he spouts.

A family member of one of my employees was a contestant on "Minute to Win It" last year and said that GF was cool while the cameras were rolling, but in between takes, he was a utter and complete douchenozzle. He spent his time barking out orders to the production staff like he was George S Patton himself, and completely ignored the contestants.
2013-02-19 10:51:02 PM
1 votes:

Canned Tamales: Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole page devoted to lame jokes about a person who has actually been quite successful on mediocre talents.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam Guy Fieri to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even get something published on Gawker or Jezebel someday.  I'll be too busy watching Triple D reruns to read it, but that's cool.


10/10.  Calling the show "Triple D" like a real fan is the perfect finishing touch.
2013-02-19 10:32:32 PM
1 votes:
I have to say the American flag Fav Icon is a nice touch.
2013-02-19 10:09:40 PM
1 votes:

Canned Tamales: Pappas: Canned Tamales: Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole page devoted to lame jokes about a person who has actually been quite successful on mediocre talents.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam Guy Fieri to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even get something published on Gawker or Jezebel someday.  I'll be too busy watching Triple D reruns to read it, but that's cool.

Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole reply devoted to lame insults directed at a person who has actually been quite successful making people in a Fark thread laugh.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam random guys on the internet to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even... no, scratch that. No one will ever care.  I'll be too busy enjoying things on the internet to care, but that's cool.


I really didn't think any of you hosers would bite, thanks for the laughs!  You probably put out more effort than the person that made the menu...

/still likes Triple D


Is this the part where I say that if this pastime of yours made you laugh, that actually is sad?
2013-02-19 10:09:32 PM
1 votes:
I'll take The Olive Garden....

22 pounds of kalamata olives for $15.90? That's the deal of the century!
2013-02-19 10:03:26 PM
1 votes:
2.bp.blogspot.com
Whoever worked that page over is a comic genius!!!  Well played sir!
2013-02-19 09:40:03 PM
1 votes:
media.comicvine.com
2013-02-19 09:36:56 PM
1 votes:
This one made me lose my sh*t:

"Football: The Meal -$19.95""Warm, broken hamburgers, served in a clear plastic bag enclosed in a larger, black trash bag. Thrown at you from 40 yards."
2013-02-19 09:32:23 PM
1 votes:

Canned Tamales: Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole page devoted to lame jokes about a person who has actually been quite successful on mediocre talents.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam Guy Fieri to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even get something published on Gawker or Jezebel someday.  I'll be too busy watching Triple D reruns to read it, but that's cool.


foodnetworkhumor.com
2013-02-19 09:31:24 PM
1 votes:

Canned Tamales: Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole page devoted to lame jokes about a person who has actually been quite successful on mediocre talents.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam Guy Fieri to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even get something published on Gawker or Jezebel someday.  I'll be too busy watching Triple D reruns to read it, but that's cool.


You must be a BLAST at parties.

/sounds like you read Jezebel.
2013-02-19 09:30:12 PM
1 votes:

Canned Tamales: Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole page devoted to lame jokes about a person who has actually been quite successful on mediocre talents.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam Guy Fieri to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even get something published on Gawker or Jezebel someday.  I'll be too busy watching Triple D reruns to read it, but that's cool.


Yeah. Opening photoshop and making a single jpeg is a hella commitment yo.
2013-02-19 09:29:22 PM
1 votes:

Canned Tamales: Mildly funny.  The funniest part though, is thinking about how sad and pathetic somebody must be that they feel compelled to make a whole page devoted to lame jokes about a person who has actually been quite successful on mediocre talents.

Must suck to realize you have to go hunting for opportunities to slam Guy Fieri to feel cool, but hey- whatever makes you feel better, cupcake.  I'm sure if you really practice, you might even get something published on Gawker or Jezebel someday.  I'll be too busy watching Triple D reruns to read it, but that's cool.


i bet you cry whenever they parody him on SNL, too.
2013-02-19 09:28:59 PM
1 votes:
Niiiice. It's been a while since I laughed till I farted.
2013-02-19 09:23:38 PM
1 votes:
The internet is up for grabs for whoever can print and laminate these and replace the menus with these! Hidden camera results required for winning entry.
2013-02-19 09:20:54 PM
1 votes:
I hope the have a copyright on that joke menu, because Guy is likely to use it if they don't.
2013-02-19 09:20:08 PM
1 votes:

Confabulat: Whoever bought the domain name has put it to far more creative use than Fieri ever could.


Apparently he does have the domain name www.guysamerican.com, he just didn't think to cover all the possible sub-variations
2013-02-19 09:20:05 PM
1 votes:
Man, I have had a rough day and this link was needed!

/many thanks, Subby!
2013-02-19 09:14:26 PM
1 votes:
I was ready for this to be half-assed satire, but damn that was funny.
2013-02-19 09:13:43 PM
1 votes:
the Ranch Hose is never optional, dude
2013-02-19 08:49:13 PM
1 votes:

Triumph: wait...that's fake?


Yeah, I couldn't tell either. It's like a new version of Poe's Law for spiky-haired greasy douchebags.
2013-02-19 07:30:46 PM
1 votes:
"served with a side of Bud Light you have to wring out of an Hawaiian shirt."

That...is poetry.
2013-02-19 06:59:01 PM
1 votes:

SnakeLee: link farked


It's not Farked...  It's a Flavor Town Dumpster Fire.
2013-02-19 06:57:19 PM
1 votes:

SnakeLee: link farked


I got in fine.

Link to my Photobucket since it's too big to post inline.
2013-02-19 06:29:42 PM
1 votes:
+1
 
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