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(Zap2It)   Beyonce and Jay-Z's daughter Blue Ivy is already reading flash cards at 13 months. Album to drop at age 3, reality show at 5, first billion in sales at 9. End of humanity at age 13   (blog.zap2it.com) divider line 54
    More: Unlikely, Jay Z, flash cards, reality shows, human extinction, Oprah's Next Chapter, Oprah Winfrey, Beyonce  
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1008 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 19 Feb 2013 at 1:37 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-19 01:38:57 PM  
Or she might take Lawrence Fishburne's daughter's path of life and work for Vivid.
 
2013-02-19 01:39:38 PM  
Wait that's actually her name?
 
2013-02-19 01:42:05 PM  
Wait, is she Ocampan or something?
 
2013-02-19 01:42:06 PM  

Flappyhead: Wait that's actually her name?


Yep. Gonna go run into traffic now. BRB...
 
2013-02-19 01:42:08 PM  
"End of humanity at age 13"

You had better be right about this subby or else it will be hunting time!
 
2013-02-19 01:42:19 PM  
I'd say it's hard to believe they fell for that "my baby can read" crap but here we are.
 
2013-02-19 01:43:39 PM  
Wait, Imma let you finish in a minute, subby.  But Celine Dion has dropped the most adorable and intelligent children ever.  OF ALL TIME!
 
2013-02-19 01:46:04 PM  
This is almost as interesting as the "15 Of The Dirtiest Pictures On The Internet"

/Seriously - wtf is up with that link?
 
2013-02-19 01:51:49 PM  
Talent is not always hereditary.

/i whip my hair back and forth
//i whip my hair back and forth
///i whip my hair back and forth
////i whip my hair back and forth
//i whip my hair back and forth
//i whip my hair back and forth
//i whip my hair back and forth
//i whip my hair back and forth
 
2013-02-19 01:55:22 PM  
In an informal poll of new parents, I've discovered that when intelligence, motor skills and overall cuteness are considered, 100% of all babies are above average.
 
2013-02-19 01:57:51 PM  

Atomic Spunk: In an informal poll of new parents, I've discovered that when intelligence, motor skills and overall cuteness are considered, 100% of all babies are above average.


THIS. I am still waiting for that one honest parent who will admit that little Hudson or Jayden isn't really all that smart and will most likely wind up bagging groceries for a living.
 
2013-02-19 02:00:01 PM  
Yes, young children are incredible mimics. It's how they learn everything from speech to body language.

But don't mistake it for intelligence and/or understanding.
 
2013-02-19 02:02:01 PM  
Well, they did pay top dollar for her.
 
2013-02-19 02:06:48 PM  

darch: Atomic Spunk: In an informal poll of new parents, I've discovered that when intelligence, motor skills and overall cuteness are considered, 100% of all babies are above average.

THIS. I am still waiting for that one honest parent who will admit that little Hudson or Jayden isn't really all that smart and will most likely wind up bagging groceries for a living.


Then again some grocery baggers have more innate intelligence than some lawyers or doctors. Education does not equal intelligence.
 
2013-02-19 02:07:42 PM  

fish500: This is almost as interesting as the "15 Of The Dirtiest Pictures On The Internet"

/Seriously - wtf is up with that link?


False advertising, for one.
 
2013-02-19 02:07:57 PM  
My goddaughter was walking at nine months and was doing arithmetic by herself at 2 years 10 months. That's well ahead of the average curve.

/she's a smart little girl
//she's also tough: punched a little Mexican bully in the nose once her mother had told her she was not supposed to let other people mistreat her. bully is afraid of her now
 
2013-02-19 02:10:35 PM  
Oh, good. Now Wil Smith's kids have someone to hang out with.

GAG.
 
2013-02-19 02:10:51 PM  

Yomoxu: My goddaughter was walking at nine months and was doing arithmetic by herself at 2 years 10 months. That's well ahead of the average curve.

/she's a smart little girl
//she's also tough: punched a little Mexican bully in the nose once her mother had told her she was not supposed to let other people mistreat her. bully is afraid of her now


How cute. Really. How precious. Assault at 3 years old.
 
2013-02-19 02:15:57 PM  
wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net
Fierce.
 
2013-02-19 02:18:36 PM  

mrlewish: darch: Atomic Spunk: In an informal poll of new parents, I've discovered that when intelligence, motor skills and overall cuteness are considered, 100% of all babies are above average.

THIS. I am still waiting for that one honest parent who will admit that little Hudson or Jayden isn't really all that smart and will most likely wind up bagging groceries for a living.

Then again some grocery baggers have more innate intelligence than some lawyers or doctors. Education does not equal intelligence.


This. I've had cab drivers who had to have had genius-level IQs. But they also tended to not understand the social mores of cleanliness and hygiene.
 
2013-02-19 02:27:32 PM  

farkingismybusiness: [wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net image 377x373]
Fierce.


Thank God I'm not at work right now.  My outburst of laughter would have scared far too many people.
 
2013-02-19 02:31:45 PM  

Flappyhead: farkingismybusiness: [wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net image 377x373]
Fierce.

Thank God I'm not at work right now.  My outburst of laughter would have scared far too many people.


I scared my cats when I saw that.
 
2013-02-19 03:05:42 PM  

Atomic Spunk: In an informal poll of new parents, I've discovered that when intelligence, motor skills and overall cuteness are considered, 100% of all babies are above average.


Mehhh my 4 year old son is a moran.  I keep trying to get his head around special relativity but he just cannot get it... he was able to grasp 3rd order differentials but something as simple and mundaine as SR.... freak'n really.  He would be lucky to get a grocery baggers job.
 
2013-02-19 03:07:28 PM  

darch: THIS. I am still waiting for that one honest parent who will admit that little Hudson or Jayden isn't really all that smart and will most likely wind up bagging groceries for a living.


I honestly already feel bad for my kid, who's due in June, for the expectations that will be heaped upon him. Within 3 generations in my family, we have professional classical musicians, a couple lawyers, a hospital executive, a surgeon, a therapist, a mechanical engineer who worked for nuclear power stations, a civil engineer/prof. at Purdue....and me. I'm the great shame in my family for electing to not pursue a postgraduate education.

The genes are all there for a smart, well-rounded kid (minus any sort of athletic talent). Unfortunately, those genes come with all of the fun mental health issues that usually plague intelligent people, with a side of cancer and substance abuse.

/hudson and jayden are really stupid names
//is really smart and doesn't do much of anything for a living, so there
 
2013-02-19 03:21:24 PM  

Saiga410: Atomic Spunk: In an informal poll of new parents, I've discovered that when intelligence, motor skills and overall cuteness are considered, 100% of all babies are above average.

Mehhh my 4 year old son is a moran.  I keep trying to get his head around special relativity but he just cannot get it... he was able to grasp 3rd order differentials but something as simple and mundaine as SR.... freak'n really.  He would be lucky to get a grocery baggers job.


He sounds dumb as a mule and twice as ugly! If a strange man offers him  a ride, I say, take it
 
2013-02-19 03:23:54 PM  

grinding_journalist: darch: THIS. I am still waiting for that one honest parent who will admit that little Hudson or Jayden isn't really all that smart and will most likely wind up bagging groceries for a living.

I honestly already feel bad for my kid, who's due in June, for the expectations that will be heaped upon him. Within 3 generations in my family, we have professional classical musicians, a couple lawyers, a hospital executive, a surgeon, a therapist, a mechanical engineer who worked for nuclear power stations, a civil engineer/prof. at Purdue....and me. I'm the great shame in my family for electing to not pursue a postgraduate education.

The genes are all there for a smart, well-rounded kid (minus any sort of athletic talent). Unfortunately, those genes come with all of the fun mental health issues that usually plague intelligent people, with a side of cancer and substance abuse.

/hudson and jayden are really stupid names
//is really smart and doesn't do much of anything for a living, so there


Can I ask you a question? Not even trying to be funny:

Why did you elect to have a kid? What thought process, if any, went into it? What about it seemed like a good idea?
 
2013-02-19 03:26:03 PM  
you used the word 'drop'.  you suck
 
2013-02-19 03:32:48 PM  
End of humanity at age 13

Meh.  Most kids lose their humanity at 13.  They gain it back some time in their mid-20's.
 
2013-02-19 03:35:20 PM  
"Blue Ivy" sounds like a restaurant.
 
2013-02-19 03:47:06 PM  
Meh, I could do that at 13 months.  Different kids learn at different ages.  I also became increasingly retarded as time went by, evidenced by actual IQ tests by developmental psychologists.  For example, I'm now more like "Forrest Gump," but I used to have an IQ of 147.
 
2013-02-19 03:49:07 PM  
FTA: "It's so much joy and I have my best friend. She is hilarious and she is fire. I didn't expect her to be fire but lord I'm a have me a time," the Queen Bey tells Oprah Winfrey on Oprah's Next Chapter. "She's very smart. She's already reading flashcards......."

i78.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-19 04:20:09 PM  

Yomoxu: My goddaughter was walking at nine months and was doing arithmetic by herself at 2 years 10 months. That's well ahead of the average curve.

/she's a smart little girl
//she's also tough: punched a little Mexican bully in the nose once her mother had told her she was not supposed to let other people mistreat her. bully is afraid of her now


You just proved Atomic Spunk's post true in the span of like 12 minutes.

/I'm sure she's an over-achiever in every aspect of human accomplishment
 
2013-02-19 04:23:28 PM  
Anyone who uses the term "drop" for new entertainment releases should be beaten with a sockful of nickels.
 
2013-02-19 04:28:01 PM  

Yomoxu: My goddaughter was walking at nine months and was doing arithmetic by herself at 2 years 10 months. That's well ahead of the average curve.

/she's a smart little girl
//she's also tough: punched a little Mexican bully in the nose once her mother had told her she was not supposed to let other people mistreat her. bully is afraid of her now


why was it necessary to label the bully Mexican?
 
2013-02-19 05:04:05 PM  
Oooooo celebrity baby news! Look at all the farks I don't give:


/Seriously would love it if this kinda crap dropped out of the media permanently.
 
2013-02-19 06:03:29 PM  

darch: Why did you elect to have a kid? What thought process, if any, went into it? What about it seemed like a good idea?


One of my goals in life is to be a better dad than my dad was for me. He tried his best, and worked very hard to provide for us, but I'd have traded the toys and gadgets and cars for him to be able to spend more time with me growing up. I can't count the number of times he said something along the lines of "If I get the time, I'd like to teach you..."

I love my father and have a good relationship with him today, but I feel like things could have been better, and that's what I'm going to try to do.

All that aside, my wife has always wanted kids, and I'm in it with her for the long haul, so I can't really argue. It is something we have planned, prepared, and saved for. We're both out of school. We already own a home (as opposed to renting) and each have jobs, and the cars to get there. We have family and friends locally who want to help us if we need it, and are all keen on us having a child. My mom (a fantastically cautious person who never really wanted me to leave home) even had to admit that she thought the wife and I were "doing it right." We've done everything we can to provide the best possible starting point for raising a child, and then decided it was time.

It doesn't have much to do with carrying on a family name, or having someone to take care of me when I'm old- I just feel like it's an important part of being a more complete person. It is something I'd feel like I missed out on had I not done it.
 
2013-02-19 06:26:12 PM  

fish500: This is almost as interesting as the "15 Of The Dirtiest Pictures On The Internet"

/Seriously - wtf is up with that link?


Please, you may read Featured Partner, but no comments.
 
2013-02-19 06:31:22 PM  
14 Beloved Celebrities and Their Favorite Applesauce (Featured Partner)
 
2013-02-19 06:41:52 PM  
Maybe Chris Brown will beat the shiat out of her.
 
2013-02-19 07:37:03 PM  

TheraTx: Yomoxu: My goddaughter was walking at nine months and was doing arithmetic by herself at 2 years 10 months. That's well ahead of the average curve.

/she's a smart little girl
//she's also tough: punched a little Mexican bully in the nose once her mother had told her she was not supposed to let other people mistreat her. bully is afraid of her now

why was it necessary to label the bully Mexican?




I'm somewhat at a loss as to why latinos should be treated differently than any other "Americans".
After all, they're the descendants of white people who raped, pillaged and murdered their way through the Americas, only from the south up instead of the north.
 
2013-02-19 07:47:33 PM  

Featured Partner: fish500: This is almost as interesting as the "15 Of The Dirtiest Pictures On The Internet"

/Seriously - wtf is up with that link?

Please, you may read Featured Partner, but no comments.


I don't know who you are, but I will look for you.  I will find you.  And I will buy you a beer.
 
2013-02-19 08:00:11 PM  
What exactly does she mean by 'reading flash cards'?

Like I put a few down with colors and say yellow and have the kid point at it?  Or actually reading the word yellow?
 
2013-02-19 08:02:10 PM  
FTA: "It's so much joy and I have my best friend. She is hilarious and she is fire. I didn't expect her to be fire but lord I'm a have me a time," the Queen Bey tells Oprah Winfrey on Oprah's Next Chapter. "She's very smart.


I don't think Beyonce was raised using this kind of dialect, making it an idiotic affectation she, or her handlers, think invokes soul credentials. It's similar to one of those commercial country pop tarts using a phoney Southern accent to enhance their image. Her PR flacks are even pushing the "Queen Bey" label now, like she's Aretha Franklin.

Beyonce is a fat stripper who represents everything dumb and stupid about America.
cdn.sourcefednews.com
 
2013-02-19 08:06:19 PM  

darch: Atomic Spunk: In an informal poll of new parents, I've discovered that when intelligence, motor skills and overall cuteness are considered, 100% of all babies are above average.

THIS. I am still waiting for that one honest parent who will admit that little Hudson or Jayden isn't really all that smart and will most likely wind up bagging groceries for a living.


My kids are average.  I have seen no inkling that either of them are going to grow up to be geniuses.  My four-year-old can count to ten, and even recognize a few letters of the alphabet, but she can't read or write.  And my one year old is actually a little behind his peers when it comes to milestones, but he reaches them before it becomes a worry.  I've come to the conclusion that I don't care, as long as they are healthy and happy.  People brag about their children as if they had anything to do with their accomplishments, and it annoys me.  I don't care what my children decide to do when they get older (even if it is bagging groceries), as long as they are happy doing it.  These flashcard schemes are just that- schemes.  People would do better just to read books to their children, and get them interested in reading at a young age.  The independent reading will come one day, as long as they are interested in books.  Children are not a "project" or a "hobby", but many parents treat them as such.
 
2013-02-19 08:47:49 PM  
IMMA GUNNA BRAG ABOUT MY KIDLETS, SO STFU AND READ IT!

Our first born is at the top of his class, a started on frosh football as the center , doing STEM and singing in show choir. He is an absolute delight, when he isn't destroying the ozone layer with his smell or eating a full meal before the full meal. He looks like a future Republican, but is an atheist, left leaning kid.

His sister is socially more advanced than everyone I know. She is in competitive cheer ( its a cult.), and with a bit of under the thumb, manages A's and B's. She could easily become an assassin when she grows up or a lawyer.. Her only god is The Cheer bow.
 
2013-02-19 09:56:49 PM  

Yomoxu: My goddaughter was walking at nine months and was doing arithmetic by herself at 2 years 10 months. That's well ahead of the average curve.

/she's a smart little girl
//she's also tough: punched a little Mexican bully in the nose once her mother had told her she was not supposed to let other people mistreat her. bully is afraid of her now


I didn't think that minorities were allowed to be bullies. Are you sure your goddaughter isn't just a racist biatch?
 
2013-02-19 11:17:25 PM  
I just feel like it's an important part of being a more complete person. It is something I'd feel like I missed out on had I not done it.

See, this is the part I do NOT understand. "A more complete person"? What does that mean, exactly?

I'm no better than anyone else, but for the life of me, I've never ONCE sat down and thought, "You know what, I'd be SUCH a better more 'complete' person if I brought another life into the world." I simply do not understand the connection.

Luckily, my wife feels the same way...
 
2013-02-19 11:53:13 PM  
You want to know who has the really bright kids? They DON'T say how bright their kid is.

Other parents will say "Their little Algernon is starting to read Dr. Suess and is really good at it and he's only 5." The parent of the truly gifted child will say "That's wonderful! My Ender enjoys reading as well." Not mentioning that their 5-year old is currently engrossed in a copy of "Percy Jackson". That's because Ender's parents know their kid is gifted and don't want to make other parents feel bad. And also parents of the gifted are too busy trying to get adequate school services for their kid to sit around and brag..
 
2013-02-20 01:06:08 PM  
Do parents really think their young children are smart? Unless you spend a lot of time with kids, how can you tell? A "super smart" 5 y.o. is still an idiot compared with the average adult.

/Have 2 kids.
 
2013-02-20 02:12:57 PM  

grinding_journalist: One of my goals in life is to be a better dad than my dad was for me. He tried his best, and worked very hard to provide for us, but I'd have traded the toys and gadgets and cars for him to be able to spend more time with me growing up. I can't count the number of times he said something along the lines of "If I get the time, I'd like to teach you..."


And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon....
 
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