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(Mother Nature Network)   "Do you want to take a ride in my new car," "Do I have to be at work every day," "Could I get a pay advance," and other questions you should never ask during a job interview   ( mnn.com) divider line
    More: Obvious  
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9781 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Feb 2013 at 9:46 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-19 11:31:14 AM  

abigsmurf: doczoidberg: I remember when I was looking for a new job, I sent out so many resumes and applications that I couldn't even remember them all.

Once or twice, I got called to an interview not knowing what the hell the position even was.

I didn't get those jobs.

Something far worse: sent off loads of applications, got a call asking for me to come in to talk about a job. Got all nervous, prepared for the interview, suit dry cleaned etc.

Did a quick check of the business before I left so I knew what they did... It was an agency. They'd acted like it was an actual job interview just so they could get my name on their books. I was mildly vexed to say the least.


My coup de grace with a placement agency was finding out the cute little thing I was interviewing with was a bartender at a karaoke bar I got thrown out of in the city where I went to college.

She distinctly remembered the incident where some rotund woman pouring her heart out for a torch song and my measure of cheering after she finished was markedly over-exuberant and apparently made her cry.

I told the interviewer that she remembered more about the night than I did.

Had it been a real job interview I might have expressed some remorse.  But fark it....if they are going to allow people to sing "Landslide" and keep whiskey in the same place then they're just going to have to live with the results.  And as a bartender she's just as responsible as anyone else in the chain of shame.
 
2013-02-19 11:37:08 AM  

Ant: DarkSoulNoHope: "Are you a company that tells me I work weekdays only, but will you still ask me to come in for Saturday and Sunday work and late night meetings, even when you know I will have other plans?"

I don't see a problem with this. Work is not life. A person should be able to plan stuff after work and on weekends without that person's employer feeling that they own all of their employees' time.


I wish you were my interviewer. I went for a bank job interview a few months ago, they really seemed concerned with me not giving a "10" of the 1 - 10 rating questions this woman gave on "Please rate how good you feel about being called in on times you're not scheduled for" and asked for a response (none of the other rating questions required a response, even though I didn't give all "1s" or "10s") which I politely told her, "Well, if I'm already on vacation and get the phone call to come in when I scheduled it far in advance with the company, I wouldn't be too keen on saying 'Ok, I'm coming in.' Otherwise, I am fine with you calling me in when I am needed." Beyond that the interview seemed fine. I didn't get the job.
 
2013-02-19 11:43:56 AM  

WTFDYW: Invisible Dynamite Monkey: Rickenbacker: Not at all surprised someone asked about having to work every day.  It's amazing the young ones I see who come in and want to dictate what hours they will work during the interview.

Not a millennial here but I'm not going to work at a company that doesn't give me flexible hours. Not spending an extra hour a day in my car so I can be at work at a certain time. I'm either in early and out early or in late and out late. I have better things to do. Sometimes that includes learning things for my profession in my free time. I also know there's always someone else who will be flexible for me.

/jobs that have been flexible with my time, I've been flexible with their time.

Sorry pal. You aren'r so speacial that we have to dance around your schedule. THe company doesn't depend on YOU and you alone. Get over it and keep job hopping.


I spend an evening or two a month at professional group meet ups relating to my profession.  I work on my own projects in my spare time that are often directly relatable to work.  My employer gets things from me outside of the standard 8.5 hour day.  And if some place isn't going to give me the flexibility to start and end my day +/-2 hours from the standard day someone else will.  The biggest mistake I ever made early in my career was thinking I couldn't do better in my career.  Until the economy goes to crap for my profession I'm going to ride it for what it's worth.
 
2013-02-19 11:44:08 AM  

Look Of Disapproval: We were interviewing a man from China regarding a software job here in the US.  He was not living in the area, so traveled to our city for the interview.  DURING the interview, he asked one of the interviewers that if he was offered the job, whether he could live with that person while he found a place to live.  Always a little awkward.


I would have jumped on that. I would have agreed to have him live with me provided he become my manservant in his off hours.
 
2013-02-19 11:44:13 AM  
FTA "Did some of these questions surprise you? I know I was surprised as I read through this list, which was compiled by OfficeTeam, an administrative staffing company."

Temp agency. Enough said. Those places tend to draw in some true morons, so I'm not too surprised by these 10 questions.
 
2013-02-19 11:45:38 AM  

Skarekrough: My coup de grace with a placement agency was finding out the cute little thing I was interviewing with was a bartender at a karaoke bar I got thrown out of in the city where I went to college.


img.youtube.com

"I got thrown out of a bar in New York City!"

/nice story though
//Would hate to hear her story on how she got the job, "I was a bartender and they thought it meant that I am a good listener, so they hired me as an interviewer!"
 
2013-02-19 11:47:32 AM  
"Never mind these questions.  Your secretary is HOT!!!"
"Can I have that lamp?"
"Do you have a business card?  I need something to spit my gum in."
"Is there a bathroom around here?  ...Oops.  Too late."
 
2013-02-19 11:50:54 AM  

xalres: poot_rootbeer: xalres: I've sworn off dealing with recruiters with a face to face requirement because more often than not it's a massive waste of time. You waste the time and gas to get to their offices, waste $8 - $15 to park in the parking structure because they don't validate, only to have a 5 minute conversation with the head recruiter about your career goals before they sit you in a room and have different guys come in and pitch jobs at you that either don't meet your requirements (salary, location, contract instead of full-perm) or you're unqualified for (I'm looking for a .NET position, what makes you think I can also program in Java? Is it in my resume?).

You forgot the part where you have to sit in the lobby transcribing information off your resume onto a poorly designed paper form for a half hour before the receptionist will even tell the recruiter that you're there.

Never again.

RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!!

Ahem...yeah I totally forgot about that part. They have a printer and an electronic copy of my resume don't they? What's the point of doing that?

Not really looking forward to starting that whole process again but...ehhhh just eff this place.


I am going through this right now and it really is ridiculous.  There are a few recruiting companies that really seem to care and have good relationships with many area employees, but I would love to see some documentary on how some of these resume mills make their money.

If you are looking for a Job in IT and heaven forbid post a profile online, you will get hundreds of solicitations for jobs all over the damn place, even though you specifically checked the Boolean "Will not Relocate".  It's amazing the cut that they take, yet so many in house HR departments are so inept, you need to co through a recruiter to get a job.  I think most people not in the industry would be even more taken back on the process.  

You reallyneed to be doing pre-pre screenings, to find out what job is being pushed on you, "its never in the recruiters description", as you can be sunk being submitted multiple times from multiple agencies.
 
2013-02-19 11:53:34 AM  
I'm lucky enough to not be in a "omg i need a job right now!" situation, but when I do the occasional interview, I consider it an interview on both sides. I'll tell you my skills, but you tell me why I'd want to work for you.  For me, my career is about a lifestyle - not just cold hard cash.

My main thing I've always tried to get across is that even if I go corporate, I refuse to do 9 to 5 and that can't be an expectation for me. I work 7 days a week during high season, but I arrange my own hours so that my life can function. Then when low season happens of course it is important to be in the office on occasion to get shiat done, but if I can be home in time to make dinner for my man or come into work late so I can clean the house or walk the dogs,  that is far more important to me. I find, particularly if you are on the managerial or director level, 9-5 to be very quaint. We have all this technology at our finger tips, we don't need to be in a cubicle 40 hours a week any more.

And I don't do suits. It's one thing if I have a big meeting and its quite another if I'm in the office doing paperwork.

I explain to them my needs for a company: Does this company accept new ideas? Is there a hierarchy? Who would I report to and what would be their expectations of me? Who is in control of my budget? Who would my team be? Most importantly, how will these people accept my role and expectations of them (considering I'm not the typical corporate type)?

I've never not been offered a job even after having said my spiel about my hours and about my expectations for the company I interview with. I find many HR people are actually impressed when I tell them of my desire for "career as a lifestyle" mindset.
 
2013-02-19 11:54:35 AM  
I work for a software company. When I went to apply for the job, the whereabouts of the office was unknown. It still is, too. I was told to find the company's website. not an easy task. Then apply on line. One of the most poorly designed websites I finally found had me clicking everywhere. I discovered I would need to download a PDF, then fill it out, then return it via email. then wait. and they called like the next day and wanted me to come in an interview. then, and only then, was I given the location of the office. They don't like walk ins.
Been here almost 12 years. They gave me a DOS test, which I failed and said I wouldn't have been hired but because I worked at a deli counter for 12 years, they would hire me based on customer service skills.
I've seen the kind of customer service geeks give, and it's not nice. Me, I know what it feels like to be a n00b, so I'm patient. So here I site, hidden away in a secret location in between the DHS and the National Guard offices helping little old ladies with AOL accounts attach files and download forms and figure out the num lock keys. All in all, I'm glad I have a job that is moderately challenging, while letting me play white night all day.
Pretty good deal.
 
2013-02-19 11:57:31 AM  

abigsmurf: GalFriday: I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview.  I wouldn't let him and she almost cried.  She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.

You did check he wasn't there because of health issues first right? If he was there acting as a helper, you'll have given her a pretty horrible experience.

"and she had this white cane and didn't remove her sunglasses to meet me! I kicked her right out into the street and she just started sobbing quietly! Serves her right for being so rude!"


You're a helicopter parent, aren't you?
 
2013-02-19 12:02:54 PM  
After having done a gazillion or so interviews over the past few years, I deffinitely can say what is wrong with the interview process and hiring proctices today...


1.  Too many people lie or exagerate on their resume.  This is a REAL problem.  Because it has gotten companies so untrusting that they will grill you uneccessarily hard to make sure you're not one of those liars.  I've actually had to sit there and write JavaScipt on a pad and paper, or PHP on a white board, and explain how the code works. (Seriously?!)

2.  Many companies don't want to interview someone unless they are reasonably sure there is a point to it.  It's a waste of their time to try to screen all these people... So they let recruiters take care of the initial screening.  In many cases, the recruiter doesn't know anything about the position other than the buzz words they were told to ask about.  It also happens where a recruiter will set you up for an interview, and can tell you nothing about what the job entails.  Something like, "you know, typical JavaScript, CSS..."

3.  Companies don't know what they are really looking for.  Here is a scenerio:  I got hired to take on small projects, where using the full .NET with MVC3 was just entirely too bloated for the simplicity of the web pages (simple forms and stuff).  They brought me on to work in old school PHP.  Once I get in the door, I come to find that they have no means of executing PHP code.  So, I had to get that all set up for them on their IIS server.  They had no testing environment.  Had to set that up too.  Then I find out that the technology director doesn't agree with the guy who hired me about how my code should be written.  He wants to use the Zend MVC framework for PHP.  Which, for the record, is even more bloated than .Net.  Then they abruptly lost the client for whom I was supposed to be making these pages in the first place, and let me go.

4.  Many companies are not really thrilled about hiring people full time.  It's all about getting "this project" done, and that's it.  You could walk in after lunch, and have no contract...  Or even worse, the company will string you along by offering you a full time position, and back out when your current project is completed.  I had that happen twice...  They don't want any liabilty or responsibility to the employee.  So, they hire you as a contractor.  Granted, you can make good money as a contractor.  But lack of security, insurance, sick days, vacation time, etc...  It gets old after a while.  I know there are contracting houses that DO offer those things, but it's getting increasingly hard to find.

So, zoom ahead to my story today...  I started working where I am now back in December. Full time.  No contract.  I'm much happier this way.
 
2013-02-19 12:05:27 PM  
It's times like these I'm actually glad I'm disabled.

poorly designed workspace + heavy equipment + pitbull lawyer = farked up pelvis for the rest of my life, and lots of pain, but I don't have to put up with those shenanigans anymore.
 
2013-02-19 12:06:59 PM  
It's funny, though - it's inappropriate to say, "I need to scratch my balls.", but when you go ahead and just do it without saying anything, they're just as offended.
 
2013-02-19 12:11:10 PM  

xria: Rickenbacker: Not at all surprised someone asked about having to work every day.  It's amazing the young ones I see who come in and want to dictate what hours they will work during the interview.

I negotiated a 30 hour work week last time I interviewed. And working from home a couple of days a week. A couple of the other guys negotiated relocation packages, which is like an advance you don't have to pay back.

I guess if you are applying to be an anonymous cog in a corporate machine maybe the idea of the interview is to prove you will be able to fit in that regime and these sorts of recommendations might be useful.


That's not an interview. That's a job-offer discussion.
 
2013-02-19 12:14:27 PM  

durbnpoisn: After having done a gazillion or so interviews over the past few years, I deffinitely can say what is wrong with the interview process and hiring proctices today...


1.  Too many people lie or exagerate on their resume.  This is a REAL problem.  Because it has gotten companies so untrusting that they will grill you uneccessarily hard to make sure you're not one of those liars.  I've actually had to sit there and write JavaScipt on a pad and paper, or PHP on a white board, and explain how the code works. (Seriously?!)

2.  Many companies don't want to interview someone unless they are reasonably sure there is a point to it.  It's a waste of their time to try to screen all these people... So they let recruiters take care of the initial screening.  In many cases, the recruiter doesn't know anything about the position other than the buzz words they were told to ask about.  It also happens where a recruiter will set you up for an interview, and can tell you nothing about what the job entails.  Something like, "you know, typical JavaScript, CSS..."

3.  Companies don't know what they are really looking for.  Here is a scenerio:  I got hired to take on small projects, where using the full .NET with MVC3 was just entirely too bloated for the simplicity of the web pages (simple forms and stuff).  They brought me on to work in old school PHP.  Once I get in the door, I come to find that they have no means of executing PHP code.  So, I had to get that all set up for them on their IIS server.  They had no testing environment.  Had to set that up too.  Then I find out that the technology director doesn't agree with the guy who hired me about how my code should be written.  He wants to use the Zend MVC framework for PHP.  Which, for the record, is even more bloated than .Net.  Then they abruptly lost the client for whom I was supposed to be making these pages in the first place, and let me go.

4.  Many companies are not really thrilled about hiring people full time.  It's all a ...


The way to fix number 1 is for companies to quit lying about job expectations and requirements.  When they require 5 years experience to qualify for an entry level position, people are going to lie.   Companies have gotten lazy when it comes to their responsibility to the employees, you can't blame applicants for trying to bypass the bullshiat requirements when they know they're bullshiat.
 
2013-02-19 12:16:11 PM  
As a straight, white man, the best interviews are, of course, with other straight white men.
The receptionist leads you into the interview room and says "Mr. White, you're 10:00 interview is here". He'll look up, and instantly you'll see the sparkle in his eyes.
As soon as the door is closed, he breaks out the bourbon, and you spend the rest of the "interview" talking about golf or how much you'd both love to bang the receptionist.
Once in a while, you'll talk about work-related stuff (like how he'll get Rajinder or Denise to do all the crap jobs, or how Monday mornings [hangover] and Friday afternoons [happy hour at the titty bar] will be spent in special, offsite "training" sessions).
 
2013-02-19 12:18:09 PM  
As far as the comments I see here about recruiters...  Oh, lord...  I purposely stopped even bothering with any unsolicited calls from someone like, "I found your resume in our database."

And the whole thing with having to fill out a job application like you're applying at Burger King, is completely absurd.  What do they do with that application after you fill it out?  Do they enter it into a system?  Do they just put it on file?  If so, why not just use my resume?!

So, then you sit there with the recruiter, who brought you in "specifically for this one job", only to find out there really IS no job.  They just want you in the system.

Then, if they DO find you a position, the recruitering firm is bound by the conditions of the company hiring them.  So, if you have one job at $50/hr, with benefits, it doesn't mean that when that contract ends, the recruiting firm will get you those same perks for the next contract.  And that, to me, is bullshiat.  It means that they have no loyalty to you at all.  You should feel priveledged to be working for them.
 
2013-02-19 12:19:25 PM  

Cuyose: I am going through this right now and it really is ridiculous.  There are a few recruiting companies that really seem to care and have good relationships with many area employees, but I would love to see some documentary on how some of these resume mills make their money.


It's really fascinating, especially in IT. A few months ago, I went through a recruiting agency for software development and the agency I used was actually interested in matching my skillset with what employers are looking for. They got me a nice job that I genuinely enjoy.

A different agency pretty much told me to lie on my resume to up-sell my Oracle skills, even though my only experience with PL/SQL was one class in college 2 years ago. Everything since then had been MS SQL/T-SQL. While the languages are similar, there still a huge gap between knowing the ins and outs of SQL server and Oracle. He wanted me to make all these changes to my resume, add focus to tech that I only had marginal experience with.

After the call, I just blocked his number. Google voice is awesome. Here's a protip:  NEVER POST YOUR REAL PHONE NUMBER TO A CAREER WEBSITE.

/Number was posted to Hotjobs, Careerbuilder, etc etc.
//Leave it on Do not disturb.
 
2013-02-19 12:23:28 PM  
durbnpoisn:
1.  Too many people lie or exagerate on their resume.  This is a REAL problem.  Because it has gotten companies so untrusting that they will grill you uneccessarily hard to make sure you're not one of those liars.  I've actually had to sit there and write JavaScipt on a pad and paper, or PHP on a white board, and explain how the code works. (Seriously?!)

Software companies do this not only to verify you actually understand how to code, but also to see how you think about coding. I can't freehand code to save my life, but I understand the proper way to sort an array or execute a SQL statement and being able to explain what I was trying to accomplish is just as important to them as being to memorize a languages' API and syntax.
 
2013-02-19 12:24:29 PM  

durbnpoisn: As far as the comments I see here about recruiters...  Oh, lord...  I purposely stopped even bothering with any unsolicited calls from someone like, "I found your resume in our database."

And the whole thing with having to fill out a job application like you're applying at Burger King, is completely absurd.  What do they do with that application after you fill it out?  Do they enter it into a system?  Do they just put it on file?  If so, why not just use my resume?!

So, then you sit there with the recruiter, who brought you in "specifically for this one job", only to find out there really IS no job.  They just want you in the system.

Then, if they DO find you a position, the recruitering firm is bound by the conditions of the company hiring them.  So, if you have one job at $50/hr, with benefits, it doesn't mean that when that contract ends, the recruiting firm will get you those same perks for the next contract.  And that, to me, is bullshiat.  It means that they have no loyalty to you at all.  You should feel priveledged to be working for them.


You go in their database and never leave. I still get calls from Mr. Santa Monica Office, or, as I have him marked in my phone "DO NOT ANSWER! DICKHOLE ALERT!", despite my repeated refusals to work with his company. The "job application" you fill out is most likely so the data entry monkeys who put it into the system only have to work with one format for every applicant.
 
2013-02-19 12:26:20 PM  

YodaBlues: durbnpoisn:
1.  Too many people lie or exagerate on their resume.  This is a REAL problem.  Because it has gotten companies so untrusting that they will grill you uneccessarily hard to make sure you're not one of those liars.  I've actually had to sit there and write JavaScipt on a pad and paper, or PHP on a white board, and explain how the code works. (Seriously?!)

Software companies do this not only to verify you actually understand how to code, but also to see how you think about coding. I can't freehand code to save my life, but I understand the proper way to sort an array or execute a SQL statement and being able to explain what I was trying to accomplish is just as important to them as being to memorize a languages' API and syntax.


I'm always a bit skeptical when someone can freehand a complete, useful program on a whiteboard with absolutely no syntax errors. I've found that in the majority of cases, extreme book-smarts generally translates to "mostly useless when dealing with real-world problems" (there are exceptions, of course).
 
2013-02-19 12:27:34 PM  

GalFriday: WhippingBoy: GalFriday: I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview.  I wouldn't let him and she almost cried.  She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.

Sounds like the poor girl had a debilitating mental illness and was trying her best.
At least you get to feel superior to her, and show the internet how cool you are.

Bring it on ITG!

What I had was a highly educated and well-trained serologist in front of me.  There was nothing mentally wrong with her other than her crippling immaturity.



Did she have the serums to prove it?

//chicka-chicka....
 
2013-02-19 12:27:50 PM  

durbnpoisn: After having done a gazillion or so interviews over the past few years, I deffinitely can say what is wrong with the interview process and hiring proctices today...

1.  Too many people lie or exagerate on their resume.  This is a REAL problem.  Because it has gotten companies so untrusting that they will grill you uneccessarily hard to make sure you're not one of those liars.  I've actually had to sit there and write JavaScipt on a pad and paper, or PHP on a white board, and explain how the code works. (Seriously?!)


This isn't helped by insane shopping lists of skills that few people going after low level dev jobs would have (especially for web developers).

"looking for graduate web developer, must know HTML 5, CSS, JS, JQuery, Java, Flash, PHP, VB.net, perl, mysql, mssql, Linux, Windows server, Active Directory, our proprietary CMS. Must have 2 years professional experience"

Someone coming out of university may have half of those skills, a reasonably skilled one around 4/5th. Annoys the hell out of me.
 
2013-02-19 12:30:29 PM  
How about "don't attempt to negotiate a salary that is CLEARLY outside of the range listed in the written job posting".

It makes me think you didn't read the job description, or you're an idiot, or you're a schemer.  All of these are bad.
 
2013-02-19 12:30:34 PM  

abigsmurf: durbnpoisn: After having done a gazillion or so interviews over the past few years, I deffinitely can say what is wrong with the interview process and hiring proctices today...

1.  Too many people lie or exagerate on their resume.  This is a REAL problem.  Because it has gotten companies so untrusting that they will grill you uneccessarily hard to make sure you're not one of those liars.  I've actually had to sit there and write JavaScipt on a pad and paper, or PHP on a white board, and explain how the code works. (Seriously?!)

This isn't helped by insane shopping lists of skills that few people going after low level dev jobs would have (especially for web developers).

"looking for graduate web developer, must know HTML 5, CSS, JS, JQuery, Java, Flash, PHP, VB.net, perl, mysql, mssql, Linux, Windows server, Active Directory, our proprietary CMS. Must have 2 years professional experience"

Someone coming out of university may have half of those skills, a reasonably skilled one around 4/5th. Annoys the hell out of me.


I've seen resumes where people have claimed to have "20 years experience with C#".
 
2013-02-19 12:34:04 PM  

WhippingBoy: YodaBlues: durbnpoisn:
1.  Too many people lie or exagerate on their resume.  This is a REAL problem.  Because it has gotten companies so untrusting that they will grill you uneccessarily hard to make sure you're not one of those liars.  I've actually had to sit there and write JavaScipt on a pad and paper, or PHP on a white board, and explain how the code works. (Seriously?!)

Software companies do this not only to verify you actually understand how to code, but also to see how you think about coding. I can't freehand code to save my life, but I understand the proper way to sort an array or execute a SQL statement and being able to explain what I was trying to accomplish is just as important to them as being to memorize a languages' API and syntax.

I'm always a bit skeptical when someone can freehand a complete, useful program on a whiteboard with absolutely no syntax errors. I've found that in the majority of cases, extreme book-smarts generally translates to "mostly useless when dealing with real-world problems" (there are exceptions, of course).


This is the truth, while being able to do the SQL stuff is second hand to me and I could probably white board it or freehand it, I am not a coder, and when a position specifies 3 yrs+ experience in C++, javascript, vb script, python, ruby..etc, but in actuality you are usually piggybacking on an established framework with libraries and understanding how basic function calls and logic works in any object oriented language is enough to get you rolling and productive.

Ive learned not to worry about it in interviews and as always if asked questions like those, talk your way through EVERYTHING while you attempt to work through it.  In this day and age, anyone with the motivation and experience can google an example of what they are trying to accomplish and work it out.
 
2013-02-19 12:38:31 PM  
6. "Can I set my own hours?"

9. "Do I have to be at work every day?"


These aren't all that strange, when taken in the proper context... Many places are moving to at least a partial tele-commute schedule, and this falls right in line with that. The questions could have been worded better, but I would be surprised if these two questions aren't relatively common.
 
2013-02-19 12:44:04 PM  

Mikey1969: 6. "Can I set my own hours?"

9. "Do I have to be at work every day?"

These aren't all that strange, when taken in the proper context... Many places are moving to at least a partial tele-commute schedule, and this falls right in line with that. The questions could have been worded better, but I would be surprised if these two questions aren't relatively common.


The last time I've been to my company's office was 13 months ago.  All of our work is done on the clients' sites and then the rest of the time we're doing database updating.
 
2013-02-19 12:44:05 PM  
Interviewed with a company one time and at the reception desk is a big countdown clock, I asked what is the countdown for?  Apparently a full blown SAP implementation in 6 weeks.  Interviewed with 6 folks that afternoon and the next day.  This was a big company also.  Average tenure about 5 months.  My main would be manager started about 2 weeks before the interview.  His manager had been there about 1 month.  Most of the peer group, 6 months or less.

Met the IT lead for the SAP implementation, consultant, leaving in about 8 weeks

Could not leave fast enough, declined the invitation for final interview

My question should have been "are you all bat shiat crazy or is it just me?"
 
2013-02-19 12:45:09 PM  

cefm: How about "don't attempt to negotiate a salary that is CLEARLY outside of the range listed in the written job posting".

It makes me think you didn't read the job description, or you're an idiot, or you're a schemer.  All of these are bad.


You mean, "don't attempt to negotiate a salary that we CLEARLY stated as  competitive".  I rarely see the actual salary range stated in the job posting.
 
2013-02-19 12:46:12 PM  
Basically, it can be summed up as HR sucks.
 
2013-02-19 12:49:38 PM  

Girion47: Mikey1969: 6. "Can I set my own hours?"

9. "Do I have to be at work every day?"

These aren't all that strange, when taken in the proper context... Many places are moving to at least a partial tele-commute schedule, and this falls right in line with that. The questions could have been worded better, but I would be surprised if these two questions aren't relatively common.

The last time I've been to my company's office was 13 months ago.  All of our work is done on the clients' sites and then the rest of the time we're doing database updating.


I've never seen my company's office, and have never met my boss in person.
 
2013-02-19 12:51:48 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: nickerj1: It's obvious that article was written by a woman.  "Do you want to take a ride in my car?" wouldn't put me off from an interviewee as I'm a guy. It's kinda weird, but wouldn't be an instant "don't hire them".  If in the interview we got to talking about cars and he asked it, it wouldn't even be weird.

I'm trying to find a job-related reason to ask such a question.


I always put a "Hobbies/activities" section on my resume.  Back in the day, when I was fresh out of college, every single interview brought up my hobbies listed.  Interviewers like to feel out your personality, and it's especially useful for some jobs/companies if you find common ground there.  If the interviewee had "restoring old cars" or "rally racing" or something on there, and I asked them about it, and then they offered to give me a ride in their car, it wouldn't be weird.  I'd probably defer the ride to after they were hired though.
 
2013-02-19 12:54:21 PM  
I had the fortune to find work for a small businessman for whom you had to jump through several easy and unconventional hoops to prove that you actually read the job posting (answer questions in the form of resume formatting / etc).  The posting was incredibly sardonic in tone (basically mocking everyone who didn't read through the simple instructions for replying).  I thought it was hilarious and had a genuinely good time responding to it not even caring if I got the position because I was just happy there was a real person trying to find help apart from the sea of synergy.

The job description?  Rented Mule Wanted.  (basically doing some menial labor while 'actually knowing computers' for other stuff)

Needless to say, I got the job and I get paid decently for what I do (probably the best job I could get in these parts), but it's hardly a career and I still don't know what I can do to be a better provider @ home.  We'd like to move back closer to family and we can't since I can't shoot anywhere near my wife's salary (there is a huge dry spell for her field right now so she's lucky to have the job she does).

/start a business?
//I've seen the dumbest motherfarkers somehow stay in business
 
2013-02-19 12:54:49 PM  

FatherChaos: "Do you have a business card? I need something to spit my gum in."


Hilarious.  I can picture this happening.
 
2013-02-19 12:56:59 PM  

WhippingBoy: Girion47: Mikey1969: 6. "Can I set my own hours?"

9. "Do I have to be at work every day?"

These aren't all that strange, when taken in the proper context... Many places are moving to at least a partial tele-commute schedule, and this falls right in line with that. The questions could have been worded better, but I would be surprised if these two questions aren't relatively common.

The last time I've been to my company's office was 13 months ago.  All of our work is done on the clients' sites and then the rest of the time we're doing database updating.

I've never seen my company's office, and have never met my boss in person.


I kind of like it.  I met my boss during orientation, the interview was over the phone, and I haven't seen my bosses since January of last year.   With Office communicator, email and IP phones, going into an office is pointless.
 
2013-02-19 12:57:46 PM  

payattention: Skarekrough - If they fire me then so be it.  It's better to get it over now than dance around it and be stressed about it for years before it happens anyway.

Gods, where was this advice six years ago?!?

I was just fired from a non-profit because the biggest wig there is a lying, back stabbing moron. It was my own naivete and desire to be a good employee for someone who most definitely did not deserve it that kept me there. I spent 6 years working myself into a massive flair-up of my depression, my anxiety, and adding panic attacks which I had never had before. I injured myself working for him and then got turned down because there was 'no evidence of injury'. Well I guess my back would have to fall out of my body, then he might get it? No way.Then, he fires me for some made up crap because he knows that, since I was the videographer for the company, I have proof of his lunacy and his stupidity. He also knew I was getting to the point where I was about to become 'indispensable', and he would therefore run the risk of me going to the real boss, the board of directors, so better to get rid of me now.

/he has no idea I have made copies of the times where he showed his ass. If he disputes the unemployment, I guess I will be using my editing skills to create a little video of who is running that place. And my selling skills to get most of the local networks to air it.
// I am 50, I do not have an expensive piece of paper, I cannot be a wage slave for you. I have skills and talents aplenty, but they are not blue-collar, nor are they useful in a manufacturing setting. Which is where all those without expensive pieces of paper end up. I can not work in a manufacturing setting because I cannot stand for long periods. (Fifteen years of land surveying work destroyed my arches and my knees).
/// in short, I am doomed. Those hateful pain pills will run out and the doc said she would not give me any more. I have to go to some specialist (translation, someone who demands more money than the doctor did) so they can create a 'pain management plan' (translation: You will be shelling out more and more money on a regular basis now) which will address one of my problems. I cannot afford to address any of then.
//// Anyone got some Seconal, or some Darvon I can use? I am thinking 20 will do the trick, if I take them all at once...


You might consider making a professional, non-threatening report to send to some of the board members, anyway. Many of them are probably ignorant that this entire thing is taking place.
 
2013-02-19 12:58:01 PM  

WhippingBoy: I'm starting to understand why "millennials" are having such a tough time finding jobs...


Based on my experience, stupidity comes in all ages. I'm not involved in hiring at my company, but my direct supervisor is and we've had some real "interesting" candidates. My favorite was the guy who obviously used a cover letter template and didn't bother editing things like "enter company name here." I have noticed Millenials are more likely to have things on Facebook that are big no-nos to potential employers. If my boss found a really good (and by good, I mean bad) one, she'd forward their profile to us to mock mercilessly. There's a reason why I keep my FB private.
 
2013-02-19 01:00:31 PM  

Cuyose: WhippingBoy: YodaBlues: durbnpoisn:
1.  Too many people lie or exagerate on their resume.  This is a REAL problem.  Because it has gotten companies so untrusting that they will grill you uneccessarily hard to make sure you're not one of those liars.  I've actually had to sit there and write JavaScipt on a pad and paper, or PHP on a white board, and explain how the code works. (Seriously?!)

Software companies do this not only to verify you actually understand how to code, but also to see how you think about coding. I can't freehand code to save my life, but I understand the proper way to sort an array or execute a SQL statement and being able to explain what I was trying to accomplish is just as important to them as being to memorize a languages' API and syntax.

I'm always a bit skeptical when someone can freehand a complete, useful program on a whiteboard with absolutely no syntax errors. I've found that in the majority of cases, extreme book-smarts generally translates to "mostly useless when dealing with real-world problems" (there are exceptions, of course).

This is the truth, while being able to do the SQL stuff is second hand to me and I could probably white board it or freehand it, I am not a coder, and when a position specifies 3 yrs+ experience in C++, javascript, vb script, python, ruby..etc, but in actuality you are usually piggybacking on an established framework with libraries and understanding how basic function calls and logic works in any object oriented language is enough to get you rolling and productive.

Ive learned not to worry about it in interviews and as always if asked questions like those, talk your way through EVERYTHING while you attempt to work through it.  In this day and age, anyone with the motivation and experience can google an example of what they are trying to accomplish and work it out.



I'm deffinitely not saying I'm an expert with whiteboarding code either...  The last time that happened, the guy asked me to write a PHP function to pick 5 random letters out of a string and output.  Not a complicated function.  But, I generally don't remember all the little fiddlybits with the syntax.  I just exaplained that along the way, and I did just fine...  In the real world, I would find a similar function in my own libraries, or Google it, and voila!  Nice working function.


"looking for graduate web developer, must know HTML 5, CSS, JS, JQuery, Java, Flash, PHP, VB.net, perl, mysql, mssql, Linux, Windows server, Active Directory, our proprietary CMS. Must have 2 years professional experience"


Yeah,  seriously.  Then you go for the interview, and they ask about C# and MVC3.

Another one of my favorites is, "Junior LAMP developer", that pays like $25/hr.  Where the hell are you going to find a "Junior LAMP developer"?  If you even know what that acronym means, you are already way beyond Junior level.


You go in their database and never leave. I still get calls from Mr. Santa Monica Office, or, as I have him marked in my phone "DO NOT ANSWER! DICKHOLE ALERT!", despite my repeated refusals to work with his company. The "job application" you fill out is most likely so the data entry monkeys who put it into the system only have to work with one format for every applicant.

I've gotten so annoyed by that sort of thing that I write back to the recruiter saying, "Where on my resume does it say I'm anywhere near San Diego, or North Carolina?!"
It's even more amusing when they are offering a 6 month contract.  Right...  I will relocate my family for a 6 month contract.
 
2013-02-19 01:02:21 PM  

DarkSoulNoHope: Other disastrous questions to ask during a job interview:

"I got fired for not making my sales goal at my previous job, does this disqualify me from consideration?"

"Are you a company that tells me I work weekdays only, but will you still ask me to come in for Saturday and Sunday work and late night meetings, even when you know I will have other plans?"

(Chick Fil-A Interview) "Is it alright that I'm Jewish?"

(Synagogue Volunteer Interview) "Is it alright that I'm Muslim?"

(Hot Topic Interview) "Well I'm not comfortable to come here and need to ask for a job, but I have to know first, is it too much to hope for that you get some *real* Goth music CDs on those shelves once in a while?!"

(Muslim School Interview) "So, have you accepted Christ as your lord and savior?"


Having been to Chik's HDQ and seen them open/close meetings with a prayer, I don't think they hire anyone who does not acknowledge Jesus as Lord and Savior.

So that one is a pretty valid question.
 
2013-02-19 01:02:32 PM  

Girion47: The last time I've been to my company's office was 13 months ago.  All of our work is done on the clients' sites and then the rest of the time we're doing database updating.


But did you give your boss a ride in your car?   ;-)
 
2013-02-19 01:06:37 PM  

WordyGrrl: abigsmurf:  Something far worse: sent off loads of applications, got a call asking for me to come in to talk about a job. Got all nervous, prepared for the interview, suit dry cleaned etc.

Did a quick check of the business before I left so I knew what they did... It was an agency. They'd acted like it was an actual job interview just so they could get my name on their books. I was mildly vexed to say the least.

I had the same thing happen, though I didn't find out it was a headhunter agency until I took the day off (without pay) from my temp job for the "interview." After about 30 minutes of "interview chit chat," the gal finally revealed that they were a headhunter agency and wanted to charge me $4,000 for them to find me a job. "Most young people just put it on their credit card," she said.


Wow.  I would have to resist the urge to ask how many people punch them in the face after making such an asinine proposal.
 
2013-02-19 01:07:40 PM  

durbnpoisn: And the whole thing with having to fill out a job application like you're applying at Burger King, is completely absurd.  What do they do with that application after you fill it out?  Do they enter it into a system?  Do they just put it on file?  If so, why not just use my resume?!


One I ran into last fall: I filled out a complete job application online when applying for the job. My resume was still a must. I then filled out another job application when I went in for my first of 3 interviews. But the time they'd gotten around to the 3rd interview, I'd been offered and accepted another job.
 
2013-02-19 01:07:49 PM  

mcreadyblue: Having been to Chik's HDQ and seen them open/close meetings with a prayer, I don't think they hire anyone who does not acknowledge Jesus as Lord and Savior.

So that one is a pretty valid question.


Actually it's not, it can be seen as a form religious discrimination in hiring practices and is against the law.
 
2013-02-19 01:16:23 PM  
Telecommuting one day per week is now a job requirement for me.  Either that or a boatload of money.
 
2013-02-19 01:17:16 PM  

StrangeQ: WordyGrrl: abigsmurf:  Something far worse: sent off loads of applications, got a call asking for me to come in to talk about a job. Got all nervous, prepared for the interview, suit dry cleaned etc.

Did a quick check of the business before I left so I knew what they did... It was an agency. They'd acted like it was an actual job interview just so they could get my name on their books. I was mildly vexed to say the least.

I had the same thing happen, though I didn't find out it was a headhunter agency until I took the day off (without pay) from my temp job for the "interview." After about 30 minutes of "interview chit chat," the gal finally revealed that they were a headhunter agency and wanted to charge me $4,000 for them to find me a job. "Most young people just put it on their credit card," she said.

Wow.  I would have to resist the urge to ask how many people punch them in the face after making such an asinine proposal.



Next time someone says something like that, remind them they get paid by commission from where THEY place YOU.  Never EVER give someone money out of pocket to get you a job.


Here's another good horror story:
I interviewed up in New York City.  The company seemed pretty good, and all my interviews went well.  But I already had a pretty good job, and I wasn't desperate.  So I wasn't too thrilled - especially since I would HATE commuting to NYC.
But a couple of days later, they really started pushing for me to take the job.  "We'll give you more money.  We'll buy you a laptop.  We'll pay your travel expenses!!".
The vice president of the company even called me personally to really push the point.  So, after all, I gave in and accepted the job.
He sent me out the offer letter.  I was ready to sign it, send it back, and give notice at my current job.
Then the VP calls me and tells me that the board cut his budjet and he has to retract the offer!!

I was like, "WHAT?!? After all that?!"
 
2013-02-19 01:25:01 PM  

Mikey1969: Girion47: The last time I've been to my company's office was 13 months ago.  All of our work is done on the clients' sites and then the rest of the time we're doing database updating.

But did you give your boss a ride in your car?   ;-)


No, just my cute co-worker to the after orientation open bar/free sushi thing the company put on.
 
2013-02-19 01:34:23 PM  

WhippingBoy: Girion47: Mikey1969: 6. "Can I set my own hours?"

9. "Do I have to be at work every day?"

These aren't all that strange, when taken in the proper context... Many places are moving to at least a partial tele-commute schedule, and this falls right in line with that. The questions could have been worded better, but I would be surprised if these two questions aren't relatively common.

The last time I've been to my company's office was 13 months ago.  All of our work is done on the clients' sites and then the rest of the time we're doing database updating.

I've never seen my company's office, and have never met my boss in person.


That. Is. Awesome.
 
2013-02-19 01:37:15 PM  

vudukungfu: I work for a software company. When I went to apply for the job, the whereabouts of the office was unknown. It still is, too. I was told to find the company's website. not an easy task. Then apply on line. One of the most poorly designed websites I finally found had me clicking everywhere. I discovered I would need to download a PDF, then fill it out, then return it via email. then wait. and they called like the next day and wanted me to come in an interview. then, and only then, was I given the location of the office. They don't like walk ins.
Been here almost 12 years. They gave me a DOS test, which I failed and said I wouldn't have been hired but because I worked at a deli counter for 12 years, they would hire me based on customer service skills.
I've seen the kind of customer service geeks give, and it's not nice. Me, I know what it feels like to be a n00b, so I'm patient. So here I site, hidden away in a secret location in between the DHS and the National Guard offices helping little old ladies with AOL accounts attach files and download forms and figure out the num lock keys. All in all, I'm glad I have a job that is moderately challenging, while letting me play white night all day.
Pretty good deal.



We were hiring and had gone to a job fair at NJIT.   During the Job Fair we make little notes on the resume (NG = No Good, BC = Bad Communication) so the bad ones all go in one pile and the others we call for Phone interviews, then narrow it down to an in house.


So for two or three days we get swamped with kids.  We have standard questions, goal, all that stuff.  One kid NAILS the interview, but we didn't have him on the schedule.  We just found a time for him and lucky us.


We wrote up the job offer and I went through all the files to find his resume for an address or something.  Finally found it and in the top was the note 'ass'


Kid just snuck in, nailed the interview and was going to get the job until I found out that at the job fair we thought he was and 'ass' and never called him for the phone or in house.
 
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