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(Mother Nature Network)   "Do you want to take a ride in my new car," "Do I have to be at work every day," "Could I get a pay advance," and other questions you should never ask during a job interview   (mnn.com) divider line 198
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9744 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Feb 2013 at 9:46 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-19 08:53:26 AM
*points to a picture on the interviewers desk* Who's the coont?
 
2013-02-19 08:59:49 AM
Dont ask if pants are a requirement, you never get the answer you want.
 
2013-02-19 09:38:31 AM
Is masturbating in the restroom frowned upon?  What about after hours?
 
2013-02-19 09:47:06 AM
I like to keep a pint of early times in my drawer for lunch and a pre-work drink.  Is that ok?
 
Pud [TotalFark]
2013-02-19 09:47:12 AM
Is that a picture of your daughter? Huh, so that's what she looks like with clothes on.
 
2013-02-19 09:51:09 AM
Eh, some of those are really off-base.  Like the ones about hours and being in the office every day.  You might have a schedule that requires you to work wonky hours and/or WFH.  If that's going to be a problem, I'd rather have it put out there early than waste everybody's time interviewing you.

Same with the "job for my partner" bit.  If you're looking at a job that would require you to move, you need to let them know what factors would affect your move.  I wouldn't stop an interview over that, but it gives the employer a heads up as to what kind of time frame they'll be looking at if they want to hire you.  (I would maybe advise caution about using the word "partner" though.  If it's your spouse, you're pretty safe to bet that won't affect your interview.  But if it's an unmarried or--ghasp--homosexual partner, you might inadvertently push an asshat interviewer against you).

I've learned to hate the "how do you think I did" thing, and I'm pretty sure our recruiter advises all the candidates to ask that one.  I used to get upset when companies would turn me down without feedback, but being on the other side of the fence, I'm starting to see how awkward it is when some moron asks that and you don't feel comfortable saying "you're a moron and you clearly bombed the interview.  Why are you even asking?" to their face.
 
2013-02-19 09:51:39 AM
I'm starting to understand why "millennials" are having such a tough time finding jobs...
 
2013-02-19 09:52:58 AM
True story:

Job candidate on the morning of his interview:  "Something happened last night, and now I'm in jail.  I'll be late for the interview."
 
2013-02-19 09:53:56 AM
redforded.com
 
2013-02-19 09:54:01 AM
"Do you have lots of people with families here? We're currently trying for a baby..."
 
2013-02-19 09:54:21 AM
Is there a keg in the break room?
 
2013-02-19 09:54:33 AM
"Do you spit or swallow?"
 
2013-02-19 09:56:01 AM
"Is there a dedicated sysadmin working here or any type of computer monitoring going on? Oh and how reliable are your firewalls?"
 
2013-02-19 09:56:29 AM
I remember when I was looking for a new job, I sent out so many resumes and applications that I couldn't even remember them all.

Once or twice, I got called to an interview not knowing what the hell the position even was.

I didn't get those jobs.
 
2013-02-19 09:57:37 AM
Do you actively drug test?
 
2013-02-19 09:58:39 AM

brobdiggy: True story:

Job candidate on the morning of his interview:  "Something happened last night, and now I'm in jail.  I'll be late for the interview."


I'd hire him. I like employees with an edge.
 
2013-02-19 09:58:49 AM
People still get job interviews?
That's a bizarre idea.
I thought there was a massive shortage of skilled, qualified workers in the US and A.
 
2013-02-19 09:59:52 AM
When can I get a company credit card?
I like to spend a few hours at the bar for lunch, and that would probably be easier than filing an expense report every week.
 
2013-02-19 09:59:58 AM
My greatest weakness?  I eat a lot of beans but most of the fart sounds come from my vagina.  So I guess it would have to be my vagina muscles.  The ass lips are like brand new, though.  I spent a fortune down there.
 
2013-02-19 10:00:32 AM

HotIgneous Intruder: People still get job interviews?
That's a bizarre idea.
I thought there was a massive shortage of skilled, qualified workers in the US and A.


There is.  That's why we're interviewing...
 
2013-02-19 10:01:34 AM
Seems like the author has been out of the workforce for a while. Flexible work arrangement are fairly common for white-collar jobs these days, particularly at larger companies.
 
2013-02-19 10:01:48 AM

Sybarite: *points to a picture on the interviewers desk* Who's the coont?


Bonus if it's the HR person interviewing you?
 
2013-02-19 10:02:03 AM
Not at all surprised someone asked about having to work every day.  It's amazing the young ones I see who come in and want to dictate what hours they will work during the interview.
 
2013-02-19 10:02:53 AM

doczoidberg: I remember when I was looking for a new job, I sent out so many resumes and applications that I couldn't even remember them all.

Once or twice, I got called to an interview not knowing what the hell the position even was.

I didn't get those jobs.


Something far worse: sent off loads of applications, got a call asking for me to come in to talk about a job. Got all nervous, prepared for the interview, suit dry cleaned etc.

Did a quick check of the business before I left so I knew what they did... It was an agency. They'd acted like it was an actual job interview just so they could get my name on their books. I was mildly vexed to say the least.
 
2013-02-19 10:04:34 AM

serial_crusher: HotIgneous Intruder: People still get job interviews?
That's a bizarre idea.
I thought there was a massive shortage of skilled, qualified workers in the US and A.

There is.  That's why we're interviewing...


What are you interviewing for?
 
2013-02-19 10:05:42 AM

Rickenbacker: Not at all surprised someone asked about having to work every day.  It's amazing the young ones I see who come in and want to dictate what hours they will work during the interview.


Actually the question was regarding location of work, and is completely valid. Less and less jobs require a physical presence in the office 5 days a week.
 
2013-02-19 10:06:05 AM

Rickenbacker: Not at all surprised someone asked about having to work every day.  It's amazing the young ones I see who come in and want to dictate what hours they will work during the interview.


As an IT worker it amazes me that there are still businesses who think my job is 9 - 5 and then turns around wanting late meetings, weekend work, etc.
 
2013-02-19 10:07:06 AM

Rickenbacker: Not at all surprised someone asked about having to work every day.  It's amazing the young ones I see who come in and want to dictate what hours they will work during the interview.


I negotiated a 30 hour work week last time I interviewed. And working from home a couple of days a week. A couple of the other guys negotiated relocation packages, which is like an advance you don't have to pay back.

I guess if you are applying to be an anonymous cog in a corporate machine maybe the idea of the interview is to prove you will be able to fit in that regime and these sorts of recommendations might be useful.
 
2013-02-19 10:11:20 AM

spentmiles: My greatest weakness?  I eat a lot of beans but most of the fart sounds come from my vagina.  So I guess it would have to be my vagina muscles.  The ass lips are like brand new, though.  I spent a fortune down there.


wow. Just.....wow. I lol'd.
 
2013-02-19 10:12:24 AM

Rickenbacker: Not at all surprised someone asked about having to work every day.  It's amazing the young ones I see who come in and want to dictate what hours they will work during the interview.


So, I'll see you on Saturday and Sunday, right?  Asking what days you're working and what hours you're expected to work are not bad questions ... how else are you going to know when to come in the first day?
 
2013-02-19 10:13:50 AM
"does this smell like chloroform to you?"
 
2013-02-19 10:17:39 AM

YouSirAreAMaroon: Rickenbacker: Not at all surprised someone asked about having to work every day.  It's amazing the young ones I see who come in and want to dictate what hours they will work during the interview.

Actually the question was regarding location of work, and is completely valid. Less and less jobs require a physical presence in the office 5 days a week.


Fewer and fewer

/FTFM
 
2013-02-19 10:18:39 AM
Don't say doing your wife. Don't say doing your wife.
 
2013-02-19 10:18:54 AM
I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview.  I wouldn't let him and she almost cried.  She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.
 
2013-02-19 10:19:57 AM

Rickenbacker: Not at all surprised someone asked about having to work every day.  It's amazing the young ones I see who come in and want to dictate what hours they will work during the interview.


Not a millennial here but I'm not going to work at a company that doesn't give me flexible hours. Not spending an extra hour a day in my car so I can be at work at a certain time. I'm either in early and out early or in late and out late. I have better things to do. Sometimes that includes learning things for my profession in my free time. I also know there's always someone else who will be flexible for me.

/jobs that have been flexible with my time, I've been flexible with their time.
 
2013-02-19 10:21:58 AM

cfreak: Rickenbacker: Not at all surprised someone asked about having to work every day.  It's amazing the young ones I see who come in and want to dictate what hours they will work during the interview.

As an IT worker it amazes me that there are still businesses who think my job is 9 - 5 and then turns around wanting late meetings, weekend work, etc.


This to the n'th degree.

I work a job now where they will dock pay and bonuses if I'm late or leave early.

They wanted me to come in on Saturday and rebuild someone's email.  I told them they would need to schedule their tragedies during business hours otherwise they would need to review their policy regarding my attendance.

If they fire me then so be it.  It's better to get it over now than dance around it and be stressed about it for years before it happens anyway.
 
2013-02-19 10:22:08 AM

GalFriday: I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview.  I wouldn't let him and she almost cried.  She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.


That's a new level of crazy.
 
2013-02-19 10:22:17 AM

Invisible Dynamite Monkey: Rickenbacker: Not at all surprised someone asked about having to work every day.  It's amazing the young ones I see who come in and want to dictate what hours they will work during the interview.

Not a millennial here but I'm not going to work at a company that doesn't give me flexible hours. Not spending an extra hour a day in my car so I can be at work at a certain time. I'm either in early and out early or in late and out late. I have better things to do. Sometimes that includes learning things for my profession in my free time. I also know there's always someone else who will be flexible for me.

/jobs that have been flexible with my time, I've been flexible with their time.


You're in luck! Wendy's offers "flexible hours for flexible people".
 
2013-02-19 10:22:28 AM

brobdiggy: True story:

Job candidate on the morning of his interview:  "Something happened last night, and now I'm in jail.  I'll be late for the interview."


I'd reschedule the interview just to hear the story.

/better make it good.
 
2013-02-19 10:24:23 AM

GalFriday: I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview.  I wouldn't let him and she almost cried.  She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.


You should hire her dad.
 
2013-02-19 10:25:29 AM

GalFriday: I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview.  I wouldn't let him and she almost cried.  She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.


Sounds like the poor girl had a debilitating mental illness and was trying her best.
At least you get to feel superior to her, and show the internet how cool you are.
 
2013-02-19 10:26:14 AM

thisisyourbrainonFark: GalFriday: I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview.  I wouldn't let him and she almost cried.  She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.

You should hire her dad.


He was dressed for an interview.  Suit and tie, polished shoes, the whole bit.  Now, if I only knew if had a background in serology...
 
2013-02-19 10:26:16 AM

Invisible Dynamite Monkey: Rickenbacker: Not at all surprised someone asked about having to work every day.  It's amazing the young ones I see who come in and want to dictate what hours they will work during the interview.

Not a millennial here but I'm not going to work at a company that doesn't give me flexible hours. Not spending an extra hour a day in my car so I can be at work at a certain time. I'm either in early and out early or in late and out late. I have better things to do. Sometimes that includes learning things for my profession in my free time. I also know there's always someone else who will be flexible for me.

/jobs that have been flexible with my time, I've been flexible with their time.


Sorry pal. You aren'r so speacial that we have to dance around your schedule. THe company doesn't depend on YOU and you alone. Get over it and keep job hopping.
 
2013-02-19 10:26:42 AM
Uhm...

Why is Mother Nature Network covering Job Interview Questions?
 
2013-02-19 10:27:32 AM
Is masturbating in the restroom frowned upon?  What about after hours?

We are going to be working you so hard that this will be your only option if you have the energy.
 
2013-02-19 10:27:34 AM
Swastica Neck Tatoo McSaggy Pants:  "Yo, let me get a app-ication."

spork:  "Certainly.  Here's one for Taco Bell."

/true story
 
2013-02-19 10:27:44 AM

Invisible Dynamite Monkey: Rickenbacker: Not at all surprised someone asked about having to work every day.  It's amazing the young ones I see who come in and want to dictate what hours they will work during the interview.

Not a millennial here but I'm not going to work at a company that doesn't give me flexible hours. Not spending an extra hour a day in my car so I can be at work at a certain time. I'm either in early and out early or in late and out late. I have better things to do. Sometimes that includes learning things for my profession in my free time. I also know there's always someone else who will be flexible for me.

/jobs that have been flexible with my time, I've been flexible with their time.


Unofficial flexibility is great.  Maybe I don't want to take half an hour for lunch, I'd rather get in at 8, leave at 4.   If I get hungry I can eat at my desk and not slow work down, a granola bar doesn't take 30 minutes to eat.
 
2013-02-19 10:28:17 AM

thisisyourbrainonFark: GalFriday: I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview.  I wouldn't let him and she almost cried.  She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.

You should hire her dad.


Sounds like her dad is a good leader. But that she might require mental attention.
 
2013-02-19 10:28:28 AM

seadoo2006: Rickenbacker: Not at all surprised someone asked about having to work every day.  It's amazing the young ones I see who come in and want to dictate what hours they will work during the interview.

So, I'll see you on Saturday and Sunday, right?  Asking what days you're working and what hours you're expected to work are not bad questions ... how else are you going to know when to come in the first day?


Yep, saying "Can I set my own hours?", or "Do I have to come in everyday?", aren't the proper way to word the question. You should ask, "What is the typical schedule I will be working?", "Will I always be working from this location?"

That would casually lead the manager to tell you about any flex schedule or working at home possibilities.
 
2013-02-19 10:28:33 AM
Do you have a problem with the words blood, sex or jail?
 
2013-02-19 10:28:37 AM

GalFriday: I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview.  I wouldn't let him and she almost cried.  She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.


Dad is sick of supporting her and told her that he wants to critique her interviewing skills by sitting in on the interview?

/All I got
 
2013-02-19 10:29:19 AM
Does this look infected?
 
2013-02-19 10:29:44 AM

Mentat: Is masturbating in the restroom frowned upon?  What about after hours?


After hours, who says it;s restricted to the restroom?
 
2013-02-19 10:30:09 AM

texdent: GalFriday: I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview.  I wouldn't let him and she almost cried.  She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.

That's a new level of crazy.


The term now is "velcro parent"; "helicopter parent" involves more hovering protectively at a slight disance
 
2013-02-19 10:32:02 AM

GalFriday: thisisyourbrainonFark: GalFriday: I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview.  I wouldn't let him and she almost cried.  She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.

You should hire her dad.

He was dressed for an interview.  Suit and tie, polished shoes, the whole bit.  Now, if I only knew if had a background in serology...


I had my dad take me to an interview last year, I had to fly in to my hometown for it, and instead of costing the company money by getting me a rental or taking a cab, my dad picked me up from the airport, I took him to lunch, and then he dropped me off at the curb and picked me up 3 hours later.

I ended up turning them down.   I could tell their corporate culture was going to cause me headaches.  They were more interested in safety to cover their ass rather than help their baseline employees.  Not only that one of the interviewers tried, sadly, to intimidate me by telling me he used to work for the Secret Service....whoop-di-dooo
 
2013-02-19 10:32:18 AM

TheGogmagog: Sybarite: *points to a picture on the interviewers desk* Who's the coont?

Bonus if it's the HR person interviewing you?


Double bonus if it's a woman and you follow up with "So how does that work, like scissors or something?"
 
2013-02-19 10:33:42 AM
The current 30-50 somethings don't get to biatch about the current teen and 20 somethings. You and your peers raised them.

/Not that every generation doesn't complain about every following generation anyway.
//Interviews as a tradesman sound easier than those in the business world.
///Grateful for that.
 
2013-02-19 10:33:46 AM

WhippingBoy: Invisible Dynamite Monkey: Rickenbacker: Not at all surprised someone asked about having to work every day.  It's amazing the young ones I see who come in and want to dictate what hours they will work during the interview.

Not a millennial here but I'm not going to work at a company that doesn't give me flexible hours. Not spending an extra hour a day in my car so I can be at work at a certain time. I'm either in early and out early or in late and out late. I have better things to do. Sometimes that includes learning things for my profession in my free time. I also know there's always someone else who will be flexible for me.

/jobs that have been flexible with my time, I've been flexible with their time.

You're in luck! Wendy's offers "flexible hours for flexible people".


I have a few openings for flexible people. Well actually I have the positions available--you'll be the one supplying the openings...
 
2013-02-19 10:37:33 AM
Other disastrous questions to ask during a job interview:

"I got fired for not making my sales goal at my previous job, does this disqualify me from consideration?"

"Are you a company that tells me I work weekdays only, but will you still ask me to come in for Saturday and Sunday work and late night meetings, even when you know I will have other plans?"

(Chick Fil-A Interview) "Is it alright that I'm Jewish?"

(Synagogue Volunteer Interview) "Is it alright that I'm Muslim?"

(Hot Topic Interview) "Well I'm not comfortable to come here and need to ask for a job, but I have to know first, is it too much to hope for that you get some *real* Goth music CDs on those shelves once in a while?!"

(Muslim School Interview) "So, have you accepted Christ as your lord and savior?"
 
2013-02-19 10:37:36 AM

CtrlAltDestroy: The current 30-50 somethings don't get to biatch about the current teen and 20 somethings. You and your peers raised them.


*I* didn't raise them. I was at the bar most of the time. Blame their mothers.
 
2013-02-19 10:37:54 AM

doczoidberg: I remember when I was looking for a new job, I sent out so many resumes and applications that I couldn't even remember them all.

Once or twice, I got called to an interview not knowing what the hell the position even was.

I didn't get those jobs.


I keep a date-stamped directory for every job I've applied for containing a PDF of the ad and the cover letter and resume that I submitted. If the application required an online form I save screenshots of that as well. Each directory is color coded to reflect how far along in the process I got, e.g., sent application, automatic acknowledgement, human acknowledgement, request for more information, phone interview, face-to-face interview, etc. (It's easy to stay organized when you have nothing else to do all day.)

Not only does this make it easy for me to recall what I applied for and when, but I also know which companies never sent any acknowledgement at all, so I can resend an application, and/or boycott them forever.

/This also proves useful when you're supposed to write one of those "what are your job responsibilities" things for management. Just go to the ad you saved from when you applied and work from there.
 
2013-02-19 10:38:01 AM

WhippingBoy: GalFriday: I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview.  I wouldn't let him and she almost cried.  She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.

Sounds like the poor girl had a debilitating mental illness and was trying her best.
At least you get to feel superior to her, and show the internet how cool you are.


Thanks for the armchair diagnosis, Doctor...(rolls eyes)
 
2013-02-19 10:40:06 AM

WhippingBoy: Invisible Dynamite Monkey: Rickenbacker: Not at all surprised someone asked about having to work every day.  It's amazing the young ones I see who come in and want to dictate what hours they will work during the interview.

Not a millennial here but I'm not going to work at a company that doesn't give me flexible hours. Not spending an extra hour a day in my car so I can be at work at a certain time. I'm either in early and out early or in late and out late. I have better things to do. Sometimes that includes learning things for my profession in my free time. I also know there's always someone else who will be flexible for me.

/jobs that have been flexible with my time, I've been flexible with their time.

You're in luck! Wendy's offers "flexible hours for flexible people".


Systems engineer.  Flexibility is pretty much the norm in the technology world.
 
2013-02-19 10:41:06 AM

YouSirAreAMaroon: Rickenbacker: Not at all surprised someone asked about having to work every day.  It's amazing the young ones I see who come in and want to dictate what hours they will work during the interview.

Actually the question was regarding location of work, and is completely valid. Less and less jobs require a physical presence in the office 5 days a week.


I've actually asked about a location of a few positions, but this was because the company was building a new main office and some positions were moving to the new building and others were staying in the old building, and in the event I got the position, I wanted to know which building to go to.

In some interviews, the interviewer flat out mentioned the possibilty of flex time, but with some restrictions.  I believe in one case, the person who got the position had to participate in a phone bank one Friday a month and needed to have a certain number of hours in designated "prime time" hours.
 
2013-02-19 10:41:38 AM
This was asked of me once.

Applicant: 'if' I pass my drug test will I ever have to pass another one?
 
2013-02-19 10:41:39 AM

GalFriday


I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview. I wouldn't let him and she almost cried. She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.


Frankly I'm surprised you took the time to conduct the interview; I wouldn't have. I'm not sure if there is any level of awesome-at-the-job that would overshadow her ridiculous approach to the process.
 
2013-02-19 10:44:14 AM

WhippingBoy: GalFriday: I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview.  I wouldn't let him and she almost cried.  She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.

Sounds like the poor girl had a debilitating mental illness and was trying her best.
At least you get to feel superior to her, and show the internet how cool you are.


Bring it on ITG!

What I had was a highly educated and well-trained serologist in front of me.  There was nothing mentally wrong with her other than her crippling immaturity.
 
2013-02-19 10:44:30 AM

Fear the Clam: I keep a date-stamped directory for every job I've applied for containing a PDF of the ad and the cover letter and resume that I submitted. If the application required an online form I save screenshots of that as well. Each directory is color coded to reflect how far along in the process I got, e.g., sent application, automatic acknowledgement, human acknowledgement, request for more information, phone interview, face-to-face interview, etc. (It's easy to stay organized when you have nothing else to do all day.)

Not only does this make it easy for me to recall what I applied for and when, but I also know which companies never sent any acknowledgement at all, so I can resend an application, and/or boycott them forever.

/This also proves useful when you're supposed to write one of those "what are your job responsibilities" things for management. Just go to the ad you saved from when you applied and work from there.


I do something similar, but not as detailed
 
2013-02-19 10:44:45 AM

Englebert Slaptyback: GalFriday

I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview. I wouldn't let him and she almost cried. She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.


Frankly I'm surprised you took the time to conduct the interview; I wouldn't have. I'm not sure if there is any level of awesome-at-the-job that would overshadow her ridiculous approach to the process.


If it was a technical position without client interaction, I could see going through with it, maybe she's highly functional but just has poor social skills.
 
2013-02-19 10:46:22 AM

abigsmurf: doczoidberg: I remember when I was looking for a new job, I sent out so many resumes and applications that I couldn't even remember them all.

Once or twice, I got called to an interview not knowing what the hell the position even was.

I didn't get those jobs.

Something far worse: sent off loads of applications, got a call asking for me to come in to talk about a job. Got all nervous, prepared for the interview, suit dry cleaned etc.

Did a quick check of the business before I left so I knew what they did... It was an agency. They'd acted like it was an actual job interview just so they could get my name on their books. I was mildly vexed to say the least.


I friggin hate it when they do that. I've sworn off dealing with recruiters with a face to face requirement because more often than not it's a massive waste of time. You waste the time and gas to get to their offices, waste $8 - $15 to park in the parking structure because they don't validate, only to have a 5 minute conversation with the head recruiter about your career goals before they sit you in a room and have different guys come in and pitch jobs at you that either don't meet your requirements (salary, location, contract instead of full-perm) or you're unqualified for (I'm looking for a .NET position, what makes you think I can also program in Java? Is it in my resume?). I really wish I could just work directly with companies but being in IT pretty much means everybody feels like they have to go through an agency.

I had a recruiter who insisted I drive from the San Gabriel Valley to meet with them at their office in Santa Monica after I got off work. He couldn't understand why I balked at spending what promised to be 2 1/2 hours in rush hour L.A. traffic just to have a 30 minute meeting. I had to hang up on him because he wouldn't take no for an answer.
 
2013-02-19 10:48:39 AM

GalFriday: I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview.  I wouldn't let him and she almost cried.  She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.


Sounds like you violated the ADA. ;-)  Disabled people are allowed to have helpers during job interviews.
 
2013-02-19 10:48:39 AM
It's obvious that article was written by a woman.  "Do you want to take a ride in my car?" wouldn't put me off from an interviewee as I'm a guy. It's kinda weird, but wouldn't be an instant "don't hire them".  If in the interview we got to talking about cars and he asked it, it wouldn't even be weird.

Also, the flexible schedule question is quite reasonable.  There's no reason not to have flex schedules in this modern world unless your jobs requires you to directly interact with customers.
 
2013-02-19 10:51:30 AM

BarkingUnicorn: GalFriday: I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview.  I wouldn't let him and she almost cried.  She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.

Sounds like you violated the ADA. ;-)  Disabled people are allowed to have helpers during job interviews.


You would think they would arrange that prior to the interview if they were going down that route.  She can't really violate the ADA if she wasn't notified of the disability.
 
2013-02-19 10:52:11 AM

nickerj1: Also, the flexible schedule question is quite reasonable.  There's no reason not to have flex schedules in this modern world unless your jobs requires you to directly interact with customers.


I expect the question wasn't "do you have flexible work hours", but rather something along the lines of "I'm not planning on coming in Mondays or Fridays. You'd better not have a problem with that".
 
2013-02-19 10:53:29 AM

WhippingBoy: nickerj1: Also, the flexible schedule question is quite reasonable.  There's no reason not to have flex schedules in this modern world unless your jobs requires you to directly interact with customers.

I expect the question wasn't "do you have flexible work hours", but rather something along the lines of "I'm not planning on coming in Mondays or Fridays. You'd better not have a problem with that".


yes, because any non-bootkicker is an lazy asshole.
 
2013-02-19 10:54:17 AM

seadoo2006: Rickenbacker: Not at all surprised someone asked about having to work every day.  It's amazing the young ones I see who come in and want to dictate what hours they will work during the interview.

So, I'll see you on Saturday and Sunday, right?  Asking what days you're working and what hours you're expected to work are not bad questions ... how else are you going to know when to come in the first day?


I make it a point to ask what a typical work day is like, quickly followed by some variation of "Work-life balance is important to me. If I go with you, will I be looking at 12-15 hour days on a regular basis?" The way a lot of companies are structuring their work schedules these days, asking what kind of schedule is expected of you is not a bad question. Any place that would take that as a sign of laziness probably isn't worth your time anyway.
 
2013-02-19 10:56:54 AM

cfreak: As an IT worker it amazes me that there are still businesses who think my job is 9 - 5 and then turns around wanting late meetings, weekend work, etc.

 
Ant
2013-02-19 10:57:00 AM

DarkSoulNoHope: "Are you a company that tells me I work weekdays only, but will you still ask me to come in for Saturday and Sunday work and late night meetings, even when you know I will have other plans?"


I don't see a problem with this. Work is not life. A person should be able to plan stuff after work and on weekends without that person's employer feeling that they own all of their employees' time.
 
2013-02-19 10:57:55 AM

Girion47: BarkingUnicorn: GalFriday: I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview.  I wouldn't let him and she almost cried.  She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.

Sounds like you violated the ADA. ;-)  Disabled people are allowed to have helpers during job interviews.

You would think they would arrange that prior to the interview if they were going down that route.  She can't really violate the ADA if she wasn't notified of the disability.


She answered "no" to the legally stated ADA question and disclaimer.
 
2013-02-19 10:58:25 AM

nickerj1: It's obvious that article was written by a woman.  "Do you want to take a ride in my car?" wouldn't put me off from an interviewee as I'm a guy. It's kinda weird, but wouldn't be an instant "don't hire them".  If in the interview we got to talking about cars and he asked it, it wouldn't even be weird.


I'm trying to find a job-related reason to ask such a question.
 
2013-02-19 10:58:50 AM

GalFriday: I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview.  I wouldn't let him and she almost cried.  She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.


You did check he wasn't there because of health issues first right? If he was there acting as a helper, you'll have given her a pretty horrible experience.

"and she had this white cane and didn't remove her sunglasses to meet me! I kicked her right out into the street and she just started sobbing quietly! Serves her right for being so rude!"
 
2013-02-19 11:00:34 AM
i2.ytimg.com

"Retainer"
 
2013-02-19 11:04:08 AM

texdent: GalFriday: I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview.  I wouldn't let him and she almost cried.  She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.

That's a new level of crazy what's becoming the norm in the hiring process.


Your Post, New And Improved™.

abigsmurf: Something far worse: sent off loads of applications, got a call asking for me to come in to talk about a job. Got all nervous, prepared for the interview, suit dry cleaned etc.

Did a quick check of the business before I left so I knew what they did... It was an agency. They'd acted like it was an actual job interview just so they could get my name on their books. I was mildly vexed to say the least.


Don't let your vexation (sp?) get the best of you when interviewing with agencies: Mrs. EspiaBoricua got her current job straight from the employer last month because she worked with an agency during the hiring process.

/good luck in your job search!
 
2013-02-19 11:04:37 AM
As a former Employment / VR Counsellor, I have heard these, and others too.

Brobdiggy: I think it was smart that he at least called you.
 
2013-02-19 11:06:26 AM

BarkingUnicorn: nickerj1: It's obvious that article was written by a woman.  "Do you want to take a ride in my car?" wouldn't put me off from an interviewee as I'm a guy. It's kinda weird, but wouldn't be an instant "don't hire them".  If in the interview we got to talking about cars and he asked it, it wouldn't even be weird.

I'm trying to find a job-related reason to ask such a question.


Pizza-delivery interview?
Courier?
NASCAR team?
Time for lunch?
 
2013-02-19 11:07:44 AM
Do you ever press charges?
 
2013-02-19 11:08:17 AM

Prof. Frink: texdent: GalFriday: I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview.  I wouldn't let him and she almost cried.  She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.

That's a new level of crazy.

The term now is "velcro parent"; "helicopter parent" involves more hovering protectively at a slight disance


Doesn't "velcro" imply that, with sufficient force, the two could eventually be separated?

Because the examples I've seen don't seem to indicate that they're ever going to get pulled apart.  The honeymoon night for a pair of millennials involves up to 4 parents, all heaping praise on their fragile snowflakes.
 
2013-02-19 11:08:58 AM
Skarekrough - If they fire me then so be it.  It's better to get it over now than dance around it and be stressed about it for years before it happens anyway.

Gods, where was this advice six years ago?!?

I was just fired from a non-profit because the biggest wig there is a lying, back stabbing moron. It was my own naivete and desire to be a good employee for someone who most definitely did not deserve it that kept me there. I spent 6 years working myself into a massive flair-up of my depression, my anxiety, and adding panic attacks which I had never had before. I injured myself working for him and then got turned down because there was 'no evidence of injury'. Well I guess my back would have to fall out of my body, then he might get it? No way.Then, he fires me for some made up crap because he knows that, since I was the videographer for the company, I have proof of his lunacy and his stupidity. He also knew I was getting to the point where I was about to become 'indispensable', and he would therefore run the risk of me going to the real boss, the board of directors, so better to get rid of me now.

/he has no idea I have made copies of the times where he showed his ass. If he disputes the unemployment, I guess I will be using my editing skills to create a little video of who is running that place. And my selling skills to get most of the local networks to air it.
// I am 50, I do not have an expensive piece of paper, I cannot be a wage slave for you. I have skills and talents aplenty, but they are not blue-collar, nor are they useful in a manufacturing setting. Which is where all those without expensive pieces of paper end up. I can not work in a manufacturing setting because I cannot stand for long periods. (Fifteen years of land surveying work destroyed my arches and my knees).
/// in short, I am doomed. Those hateful pain pills will run out and the doc said she would not give me any more. I have to go to some specialist (translation, someone who demands more money than the doctor did) so they can create a 'pain management plan' (translation: You will be shelling out more and more money on a regular basis now) which will address one of my problems. I cannot afford to address any of then.
//// Anyone got some Seconal, or some Darvon I can use? I am thinking 20 will do the trick, if I take them all at once...
 
2013-02-19 11:10:49 AM
Is it OK if I awkwardly  reach for my water during the interview?

wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2013-02-19 11:10:52 AM
abigsmurf:  Something far worse: sent off loads of applications, got a call asking for me to come in to talk about a job. Got all nervous, prepared for the interview, suit dry cleaned etc.

Did a quick check of the business before I left so I knew what they did... It was an agency. They'd acted like it was an actual job interview just so they could get my name on their books. I was mildly vexed to say the least.


I had the same thing happen, though I didn't find out it was a headhunter agency until I took the day off (without pay) from my temp job for the "interview." After about 30 minutes of "interview chit chat," the gal finally revealed that they were a headhunter agency and wanted to charge me $4,000 for them to find me a job. "Most young people just put it on their credit card," she said.
 
2013-02-19 11:12:04 AM

xalres: I've sworn off dealing with recruiters with a face to face requirement because more often than not it's a massive waste of time. You waste the time and gas to get to their offices, waste $8 - $15 to park in the parking structure because they don't validate, only to have a 5 minute conversation with the head recruiter about your career goals before they sit you in a room and have different guys come in and pitch jobs at you that either don't meet your requirements (salary, location, contract instead of full-perm) or you're unqualified for (I'm looking for a .NET position, what makes you think I can also program in Java? Is it in my resume?).


You forgot the part where you have to sit in the lobby transcribing information off your resume onto a poorly designed paper form for a half hour before the receptionist will even tell the recruiter that you're there.

Never again.
 
2013-02-19 11:13:17 AM
Some of those questions are just stupid, and should never be asked.  Some of them should be rephrased, like the "do I have to be at work everyday?" could be a reference to flexible schedules, or in IT could be a "do you plan on trying to make me work every waking minute, 365 days a year like my last employer tried to do?"

But some of them are completely valid, if you're planning on conditioning accepting the job on the answer.  The midday nap would be an obvious one, if it's something the company offers the interviewer will likely be proud of it, and happy to discuss the policy.  It might even help get you the job, since your question suggests that you'd be a good fit for that kind of company culture.  If you're not planning on accepting a job that doesn't offer it, there's no reason to make the interviewer at a company with a nap prohibition happy.

I'm not sure the "do you have a job for my partner?" isn't appropriate for the interview, if you're definitely going to turn down an offer without it.  It's going to be a less commonly appropriate question in the business world, but in academia they actually refer to it as the "two-body problem" - and it's common to accommodate a significant other, since it's more likely than not that they are both professors, and it's unlikely in most cities that there would be another educational institution for the second person to be employed by, and there may be no other employment possibilities in the area.  Since the chance is high that any offer for only one person would be refused anyway, it might as well be asked in an interview.
 
2013-02-19 11:15:11 AM

over_and_done: The honeymoon night for a pair of millennials involves up to 4 parents, all heaping praise on their fragile snowflakes.


Given the prevalence of divorce and remarriage, the honeymoon could likely involve more than 4 parents.
 
2013-02-19 11:18:23 AM

poot_rootbeer: xalres: I've sworn off dealing with recruiters with a face to face requirement because more often than not it's a massive waste of time. You waste the time and gas to get to their offices, waste $8 - $15 to park in the parking structure because they don't validate, only to have a 5 minute conversation with the head recruiter about your career goals before they sit you in a room and have different guys come in and pitch jobs at you that either don't meet your requirements (salary, location, contract instead of full-perm) or you're unqualified for (I'm looking for a .NET position, what makes you think I can also program in Java? Is it in my resume?).

You forgot the part where you have to sit in the lobby transcribing information off your resume onto a poorly designed paper form for a half hour before the receptionist will even tell the recruiter that you're there.

Never again.


RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!!

Ahem...yeah I totally forgot about that part. They have a printer and an electronic copy of my resume don't they? What's the point of doing that?

Not really looking forward to starting that whole process again but...ehhhh just eff this place.
 
2013-02-19 11:20:42 AM

GalFriday: WhippingBoy: GalFriday: I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview.  I wouldn't let him and she almost cried.  She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.

Sounds like the poor girl had a debilitating mental illness and was trying her best.
At least you get to feel superior to her, and show the internet how cool you are.

Bring it on ITG!

What I had was a highly educated and well-trained serologist in front of me.  There was nothing mentally wrong with her other than her crippling immaturity.


A scientist lacking people skills?  UNPOSSIBLE!

Chances are, you either gave up an incredible asset to your team, or dodged a massive bullet.  I doubt there's much middle ground there.
 
2013-02-19 11:21:18 AM

xalres: You forgot the part where you have to sit in the lobby transcribing information off your resume onto a poorly designed paper form for a half hour before the receptionist will even tell the recruiter that you're there.



In your letter, put a footnote that says that if they have forms they wish you to fill out before an interview would they please email them to you.
 
2013-02-19 11:27:32 AM
This is a tough one because I know that instant feedback is always appreciated, but asking this question during an interview is really taboo.

Maybe the question is taboo, but godammit, interviewers should really give the interviewee at least a hint on how well it went, and not that subtle of one. I know there are some standard hints, but in a better world, the interviewee would pretty well know what the opinion upon leaving.
 
2013-02-19 11:28:19 AM
What I'm trying to point out is that for the vast majority of positions open, hours are discussed, if not even placed prominently in the advert (online or print).   And, the average person doesn't get to negotiate hours.  Good for you if you did.  The biggest reason, IMHO, that we have such a problem filling so many skilled positions is of lack of work ethic.
 
2013-02-19 11:28:57 AM
We were interviewing a man from China regarding a software job here in the US.  He was not living in the area, so traveled to our city for the interview.  DURING the interview, he asked one of the interviewers that if he was offered the job, whether he could live with that person while he found a place to live.  Always a little awkward.
 
2013-02-19 11:30:19 AM

DarkVader: GalFriday: WhippingBoy: GalFriday: I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview.  I wouldn't let him and she almost cried.  She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.

Sounds like the poor girl had a debilitating mental illness and was trying her best.
At least you get to feel superior to her, and show the internet how cool you are.

Bring it on ITG!

What I had was a highly educated and well-trained serologist in front of me.  There was nothing mentally wrong with her other than her crippling immaturity.

A scientist lacking people skills?  UNPOSSIBLE!

Chances are, you either gave up an incredible asset to your team, or dodged a massive bullet.  I doubt there's much middle ground there.


I have NEVER hired a scientist for their people skills, I expect them to have little to no social skills.  These people very rarely interact with each other, let alone the rest of the office and NEVER the clients.  But, if she is going to cry when she has to interview without her dad there, what is she doing to do if she has to give testimony in open court, or even closed court where her father most certainly would not be allowed?

I think I dodged a bullet.
 
2013-02-19 11:31:14 AM

abigsmurf: doczoidberg: I remember when I was looking for a new job, I sent out so many resumes and applications that I couldn't even remember them all.

Once or twice, I got called to an interview not knowing what the hell the position even was.

I didn't get those jobs.

Something far worse: sent off loads of applications, got a call asking for me to come in to talk about a job. Got all nervous, prepared for the interview, suit dry cleaned etc.

Did a quick check of the business before I left so I knew what they did... It was an agency. They'd acted like it was an actual job interview just so they could get my name on their books. I was mildly vexed to say the least.


My coup de grace with a placement agency was finding out the cute little thing I was interviewing with was a bartender at a karaoke bar I got thrown out of in the city where I went to college.

She distinctly remembered the incident where some rotund woman pouring her heart out for a torch song and my measure of cheering after she finished was markedly over-exuberant and apparently made her cry.

I told the interviewer that she remembered more about the night than I did.

Had it been a real job interview I might have expressed some remorse.  But fark it....if they are going to allow people to sing "Landslide" and keep whiskey in the same place then they're just going to have to live with the results.  And as a bartender she's just as responsible as anyone else in the chain of shame.
 
2013-02-19 11:37:08 AM

Ant: DarkSoulNoHope: "Are you a company that tells me I work weekdays only, but will you still ask me to come in for Saturday and Sunday work and late night meetings, even when you know I will have other plans?"

I don't see a problem with this. Work is not life. A person should be able to plan stuff after work and on weekends without that person's employer feeling that they own all of their employees' time.


I wish you were my interviewer. I went for a bank job interview a few months ago, they really seemed concerned with me not giving a "10" of the 1 - 10 rating questions this woman gave on "Please rate how good you feel about being called in on times you're not scheduled for" and asked for a response (none of the other rating questions required a response, even though I didn't give all "1s" or "10s") which I politely told her, "Well, if I'm already on vacation and get the phone call to come in when I scheduled it far in advance with the company, I wouldn't be too keen on saying 'Ok, I'm coming in.' Otherwise, I am fine with you calling me in when I am needed." Beyond that the interview seemed fine. I didn't get the job.
 
2013-02-19 11:43:56 AM

WTFDYW: Invisible Dynamite Monkey: Rickenbacker: Not at all surprised someone asked about having to work every day.  It's amazing the young ones I see who come in and want to dictate what hours they will work during the interview.

Not a millennial here but I'm not going to work at a company that doesn't give me flexible hours. Not spending an extra hour a day in my car so I can be at work at a certain time. I'm either in early and out early or in late and out late. I have better things to do. Sometimes that includes learning things for my profession in my free time. I also know there's always someone else who will be flexible for me.

/jobs that have been flexible with my time, I've been flexible with their time.

Sorry pal. You aren'r so speacial that we have to dance around your schedule. THe company doesn't depend on YOU and you alone. Get over it and keep job hopping.


I spend an evening or two a month at professional group meet ups relating to my profession.  I work on my own projects in my spare time that are often directly relatable to work.  My employer gets things from me outside of the standard 8.5 hour day.  And if some place isn't going to give me the flexibility to start and end my day +/-2 hours from the standard day someone else will.  The biggest mistake I ever made early in my career was thinking I couldn't do better in my career.  Until the economy goes to crap for my profession I'm going to ride it for what it's worth.
 
2013-02-19 11:44:08 AM

Look Of Disapproval: We were interviewing a man from China regarding a software job here in the US.  He was not living in the area, so traveled to our city for the interview.  DURING the interview, he asked one of the interviewers that if he was offered the job, whether he could live with that person while he found a place to live.  Always a little awkward.


I would have jumped on that. I would have agreed to have him live with me provided he become my manservant in his off hours.
 
2013-02-19 11:44:13 AM
FTA "Did some of these questions surprise you? I know I was surprised as I read through this list, which was compiled by OfficeTeam, an administrative staffing company."

Temp agency. Enough said. Those places tend to draw in some true morons, so I'm not too surprised by these 10 questions.
 
2013-02-19 11:45:38 AM

Skarekrough: My coup de grace with a placement agency was finding out the cute little thing I was interviewing with was a bartender at a karaoke bar I got thrown out of in the city where I went to college.


img.youtube.com

"I got thrown out of a bar in New York City!"

/nice story though
//Would hate to hear her story on how she got the job, "I was a bartender and they thought it meant that I am a good listener, so they hired me as an interviewer!"
 
2013-02-19 11:47:32 AM
"Never mind these questions.  Your secretary is HOT!!!"
"Can I have that lamp?"
"Do you have a business card?  I need something to spit my gum in."
"Is there a bathroom around here?  ...Oops.  Too late."
 
2013-02-19 11:50:54 AM

xalres: poot_rootbeer: xalres: I've sworn off dealing with recruiters with a face to face requirement because more often than not it's a massive waste of time. You waste the time and gas to get to their offices, waste $8 - $15 to park in the parking structure because they don't validate, only to have a 5 minute conversation with the head recruiter about your career goals before they sit you in a room and have different guys come in and pitch jobs at you that either don't meet your requirements (salary, location, contract instead of full-perm) or you're unqualified for (I'm looking for a .NET position, what makes you think I can also program in Java? Is it in my resume?).

You forgot the part where you have to sit in the lobby transcribing information off your resume onto a poorly designed paper form for a half hour before the receptionist will even tell the recruiter that you're there.

Never again.

RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!!

Ahem...yeah I totally forgot about that part. They have a printer and an electronic copy of my resume don't they? What's the point of doing that?

Not really looking forward to starting that whole process again but...ehhhh just eff this place.


I am going through this right now and it really is ridiculous.  There are a few recruiting companies that really seem to care and have good relationships with many area employees, but I would love to see some documentary on how some of these resume mills make their money.

If you are looking for a Job in IT and heaven forbid post a profile online, you will get hundreds of solicitations for jobs all over the damn place, even though you specifically checked the Boolean "Will not Relocate".  It's amazing the cut that they take, yet so many in house HR departments are so inept, you need to co through a recruiter to get a job.  I think most people not in the industry would be even more taken back on the process.  

You reallyneed to be doing pre-pre screenings, to find out what job is being pushed on you, "its never in the recruiters description", as you can be sunk being submitted multiple times from multiple agencies.
 
2013-02-19 11:53:34 AM
I'm lucky enough to not be in a "omg i need a job right now!" situation, but when I do the occasional interview, I consider it an interview on both sides. I'll tell you my skills, but you tell me why I'd want to work for you.  For me, my career is about a lifestyle - not just cold hard cash.

My main thing I've always tried to get across is that even if I go corporate, I refuse to do 9 to 5 and that can't be an expectation for me. I work 7 days a week during high season, but I arrange my own hours so that my life can function. Then when low season happens of course it is important to be in the office on occasion to get shiat done, but if I can be home in time to make dinner for my man or come into work late so I can clean the house or walk the dogs,  that is far more important to me. I find, particularly if you are on the managerial or director level, 9-5 to be very quaint. We have all this technology at our finger tips, we don't need to be in a cubicle 40 hours a week any more.

And I don't do suits. It's one thing if I have a big meeting and its quite another if I'm in the office doing paperwork.

I explain to them my needs for a company: Does this company accept new ideas? Is there a hierarchy? Who would I report to and what would be their expectations of me? Who is in control of my budget? Who would my team be? Most importantly, how will these people accept my role and expectations of them (considering I'm not the typical corporate type)?

I've never not been offered a job even after having said my spiel about my hours and about my expectations for the company I interview with. I find many HR people are actually impressed when I tell them of my desire for "career as a lifestyle" mindset.
 
2013-02-19 11:54:35 AM
I work for a software company. When I went to apply for the job, the whereabouts of the office was unknown. It still is, too. I was told to find the company's website. not an easy task. Then apply on line. One of the most poorly designed websites I finally found had me clicking everywhere. I discovered I would need to download a PDF, then fill it out, then return it via email. then wait. and they called like the next day and wanted me to come in an interview. then, and only then, was I given the location of the office. They don't like walk ins.
Been here almost 12 years. They gave me a DOS test, which I failed and said I wouldn't have been hired but because I worked at a deli counter for 12 years, they would hire me based on customer service skills.
I've seen the kind of customer service geeks give, and it's not nice. Me, I know what it feels like to be a n00b, so I'm patient. So here I site, hidden away in a secret location in between the DHS and the National Guard offices helping little old ladies with AOL accounts attach files and download forms and figure out the num lock keys. All in all, I'm glad I have a job that is moderately challenging, while letting me play white night all day.
Pretty good deal.
 
2013-02-19 11:57:31 AM

abigsmurf: GalFriday: I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview.  I wouldn't let him and she almost cried.  She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.

You did check he wasn't there because of health issues first right? If he was there acting as a helper, you'll have given her a pretty horrible experience.

"and she had this white cane and didn't remove her sunglasses to meet me! I kicked her right out into the street and she just started sobbing quietly! Serves her right for being so rude!"


You're a helicopter parent, aren't you?
 
2013-02-19 12:02:54 PM
After having done a gazillion or so interviews over the past few years, I deffinitely can say what is wrong with the interview process and hiring proctices today...


1.  Too many people lie or exagerate on their resume.  This is a REAL problem.  Because it has gotten companies so untrusting that they will grill you uneccessarily hard to make sure you're not one of those liars.  I've actually had to sit there and write JavaScipt on a pad and paper, or PHP on a white board, and explain how the code works. (Seriously?!)

2.  Many companies don't want to interview someone unless they are reasonably sure there is a point to it.  It's a waste of their time to try to screen all these people... So they let recruiters take care of the initial screening.  In many cases, the recruiter doesn't know anything about the position other than the buzz words they were told to ask about.  It also happens where a recruiter will set you up for an interview, and can tell you nothing about what the job entails.  Something like, "you know, typical JavaScript, CSS..."

3.  Companies don't know what they are really looking for.  Here is a scenerio:  I got hired to take on small projects, where using the full .NET with MVC3 was just entirely too bloated for the simplicity of the web pages (simple forms and stuff).  They brought me on to work in old school PHP.  Once I get in the door, I come to find that they have no means of executing PHP code.  So, I had to get that all set up for them on their IIS server.  They had no testing environment.  Had to set that up too.  Then I find out that the technology director doesn't agree with the guy who hired me about how my code should be written.  He wants to use the Zend MVC framework for PHP.  Which, for the record, is even more bloated than .Net.  Then they abruptly lost the client for whom I was supposed to be making these pages in the first place, and let me go.

4.  Many companies are not really thrilled about hiring people full time.  It's all about getting "this project" done, and that's it.  You could walk in after lunch, and have no contract...  Or even worse, the company will string you along by offering you a full time position, and back out when your current project is completed.  I had that happen twice...  They don't want any liabilty or responsibility to the employee.  So, they hire you as a contractor.  Granted, you can make good money as a contractor.  But lack of security, insurance, sick days, vacation time, etc...  It gets old after a while.  I know there are contracting houses that DO offer those things, but it's getting increasingly hard to find.

So, zoom ahead to my story today...  I started working where I am now back in December. Full time.  No contract.  I'm much happier this way.
 
2013-02-19 12:05:27 PM
It's times like these I'm actually glad I'm disabled.

poorly designed workspace + heavy equipment + pitbull lawyer = farked up pelvis for the rest of my life, and lots of pain, but I don't have to put up with those shenanigans anymore.
 
2013-02-19 12:06:59 PM
It's funny, though - it's inappropriate to say, "I need to scratch my balls.", but when you go ahead and just do it without saying anything, they're just as offended.
 
2013-02-19 12:11:10 PM

xria: Rickenbacker: Not at all surprised someone asked about having to work every day.  It's amazing the young ones I see who come in and want to dictate what hours they will work during the interview.

I negotiated a 30 hour work week last time I interviewed. And working from home a couple of days a week. A couple of the other guys negotiated relocation packages, which is like an advance you don't have to pay back.

I guess if you are applying to be an anonymous cog in a corporate machine maybe the idea of the interview is to prove you will be able to fit in that regime and these sorts of recommendations might be useful.


That's not an interview. That's a job-offer discussion.
 
2013-02-19 12:14:27 PM

durbnpoisn: After having done a gazillion or so interviews over the past few years, I deffinitely can say what is wrong with the interview process and hiring proctices today...


1.  Too many people lie or exagerate on their resume.  This is a REAL problem.  Because it has gotten companies so untrusting that they will grill you uneccessarily hard to make sure you're not one of those liars.  I've actually had to sit there and write JavaScipt on a pad and paper, or PHP on a white board, and explain how the code works. (Seriously?!)

2.  Many companies don't want to interview someone unless they are reasonably sure there is a point to it.  It's a waste of their time to try to screen all these people... So they let recruiters take care of the initial screening.  In many cases, the recruiter doesn't know anything about the position other than the buzz words they were told to ask about.  It also happens where a recruiter will set you up for an interview, and can tell you nothing about what the job entails.  Something like, "you know, typical JavaScript, CSS..."

3.  Companies don't know what they are really looking for.  Here is a scenerio:  I got hired to take on small projects, where using the full .NET with MVC3 was just entirely too bloated for the simplicity of the web pages (simple forms and stuff).  They brought me on to work in old school PHP.  Once I get in the door, I come to find that they have no means of executing PHP code.  So, I had to get that all set up for them on their IIS server.  They had no testing environment.  Had to set that up too.  Then I find out that the technology director doesn't agree with the guy who hired me about how my code should be written.  He wants to use the Zend MVC framework for PHP.  Which, for the record, is even more bloated than .Net.  Then they abruptly lost the client for whom I was supposed to be making these pages in the first place, and let me go.

4.  Many companies are not really thrilled about hiring people full time.  It's all a ...


The way to fix number 1 is for companies to quit lying about job expectations and requirements.  When they require 5 years experience to qualify for an entry level position, people are going to lie.   Companies have gotten lazy when it comes to their responsibility to the employees, you can't blame applicants for trying to bypass the bullshiat requirements when they know they're bullshiat.
 
2013-02-19 12:16:11 PM
As a straight, white man, the best interviews are, of course, with other straight white men.
The receptionist leads you into the interview room and says "Mr. White, you're 10:00 interview is here". He'll look up, and instantly you'll see the sparkle in his eyes.
As soon as the door is closed, he breaks out the bourbon, and you spend the rest of the "interview" talking about golf or how much you'd both love to bang the receptionist.
Once in a while, you'll talk about work-related stuff (like how he'll get Rajinder or Denise to do all the crap jobs, or how Monday mornings [hangover] and Friday afternoons [happy hour at the titty bar] will be spent in special, offsite "training" sessions).
 
2013-02-19 12:18:09 PM
As far as the comments I see here about recruiters...  Oh, lord...  I purposely stopped even bothering with any unsolicited calls from someone like, "I found your resume in our database."

And the whole thing with having to fill out a job application like you're applying at Burger King, is completely absurd.  What do they do with that application after you fill it out?  Do they enter it into a system?  Do they just put it on file?  If so, why not just use my resume?!

So, then you sit there with the recruiter, who brought you in "specifically for this one job", only to find out there really IS no job.  They just want you in the system.

Then, if they DO find you a position, the recruitering firm is bound by the conditions of the company hiring them.  So, if you have one job at $50/hr, with benefits, it doesn't mean that when that contract ends, the recruiting firm will get you those same perks for the next contract.  And that, to me, is bullshiat.  It means that they have no loyalty to you at all.  You should feel priveledged to be working for them.
 
2013-02-19 12:19:25 PM

Cuyose: I am going through this right now and it really is ridiculous.  There are a few recruiting companies that really seem to care and have good relationships with many area employees, but I would love to see some documentary on how some of these resume mills make their money.


It's really fascinating, especially in IT. A few months ago, I went through a recruiting agency for software development and the agency I used was actually interested in matching my skillset with what employers are looking for. They got me a nice job that I genuinely enjoy.

A different agency pretty much told me to lie on my resume to up-sell my Oracle skills, even though my only experience with PL/SQL was one class in college 2 years ago. Everything since then had been MS SQL/T-SQL. While the languages are similar, there still a huge gap between knowing the ins and outs of SQL server and Oracle. He wanted me to make all these changes to my resume, add focus to tech that I only had marginal experience with.

After the call, I just blocked his number. Google voice is awesome. Here's a protip:  NEVER POST YOUR REAL PHONE NUMBER TO A CAREER WEBSITE.

/Number was posted to Hotjobs, Careerbuilder, etc etc.
//Leave it on Do not disturb.
 
2013-02-19 12:23:28 PM
durbnpoisn:
1.  Too many people lie or exagerate on their resume.  This is a REAL problem.  Because it has gotten companies so untrusting that they will grill you uneccessarily hard to make sure you're not one of those liars.  I've actually had to sit there and write JavaScipt on a pad and paper, or PHP on a white board, and explain how the code works. (Seriously?!)

Software companies do this not only to verify you actually understand how to code, but also to see how you think about coding. I can't freehand code to save my life, but I understand the proper way to sort an array or execute a SQL statement and being able to explain what I was trying to accomplish is just as important to them as being to memorize a languages' API and syntax.
 
2013-02-19 12:24:29 PM

durbnpoisn: As far as the comments I see here about recruiters...  Oh, lord...  I purposely stopped even bothering with any unsolicited calls from someone like, "I found your resume in our database."

And the whole thing with having to fill out a job application like you're applying at Burger King, is completely absurd.  What do they do with that application after you fill it out?  Do they enter it into a system?  Do they just put it on file?  If so, why not just use my resume?!

So, then you sit there with the recruiter, who brought you in "specifically for this one job", only to find out there really IS no job.  They just want you in the system.

Then, if they DO find you a position, the recruitering firm is bound by the conditions of the company hiring them.  So, if you have one job at $50/hr, with benefits, it doesn't mean that when that contract ends, the recruiting firm will get you those same perks for the next contract.  And that, to me, is bullshiat.  It means that they have no loyalty to you at all.  You should feel priveledged to be working for them.


You go in their database and never leave. I still get calls from Mr. Santa Monica Office, or, as I have him marked in my phone "DO NOT ANSWER! DICKHOLE ALERT!", despite my repeated refusals to work with his company. The "job application" you fill out is most likely so the data entry monkeys who put it into the system only have to work with one format for every applicant.
 
2013-02-19 12:26:20 PM

YodaBlues: durbnpoisn:
1.  Too many people lie or exagerate on their resume.  This is a REAL problem.  Because it has gotten companies so untrusting that they will grill you uneccessarily hard to make sure you're not one of those liars.  I've actually had to sit there and write JavaScipt on a pad and paper, or PHP on a white board, and explain how the code works. (Seriously?!)

Software companies do this not only to verify you actually understand how to code, but also to see how you think about coding. I can't freehand code to save my life, but I understand the proper way to sort an array or execute a SQL statement and being able to explain what I was trying to accomplish is just as important to them as being to memorize a languages' API and syntax.


I'm always a bit skeptical when someone can freehand a complete, useful program on a whiteboard with absolutely no syntax errors. I've found that in the majority of cases, extreme book-smarts generally translates to "mostly useless when dealing with real-world problems" (there are exceptions, of course).
 
2013-02-19 12:27:34 PM

GalFriday: WhippingBoy: GalFriday: I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview.  I wouldn't let him and she almost cried.  She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.

Sounds like the poor girl had a debilitating mental illness and was trying her best.
At least you get to feel superior to her, and show the internet how cool you are.

Bring it on ITG!

What I had was a highly educated and well-trained serologist in front of me.  There was nothing mentally wrong with her other than her crippling immaturity.



Did she have the serums to prove it?

//chicka-chicka....
 
2013-02-19 12:27:50 PM

durbnpoisn: After having done a gazillion or so interviews over the past few years, I deffinitely can say what is wrong with the interview process and hiring proctices today...

1.  Too many people lie or exagerate on their resume.  This is a REAL problem.  Because it has gotten companies so untrusting that they will grill you uneccessarily hard to make sure you're not one of those liars.  I've actually had to sit there and write JavaScipt on a pad and paper, or PHP on a white board, and explain how the code works. (Seriously?!)


This isn't helped by insane shopping lists of skills that few people going after low level dev jobs would have (especially for web developers).

"looking for graduate web developer, must know HTML 5, CSS, JS, JQuery, Java, Flash, PHP, VB.net, perl, mysql, mssql, Linux, Windows server, Active Directory, our proprietary CMS. Must have 2 years professional experience"

Someone coming out of university may have half of those skills, a reasonably skilled one around 4/5th. Annoys the hell out of me.
 
2013-02-19 12:30:29 PM
How about "don't attempt to negotiate a salary that is CLEARLY outside of the range listed in the written job posting".

It makes me think you didn't read the job description, or you're an idiot, or you're a schemer.  All of these are bad.
 
2013-02-19 12:30:34 PM

abigsmurf: durbnpoisn: After having done a gazillion or so interviews over the past few years, I deffinitely can say what is wrong with the interview process and hiring proctices today...

1.  Too many people lie or exagerate on their resume.  This is a REAL problem.  Because it has gotten companies so untrusting that they will grill you uneccessarily hard to make sure you're not one of those liars.  I've actually had to sit there and write JavaScipt on a pad and paper, or PHP on a white board, and explain how the code works. (Seriously?!)

This isn't helped by insane shopping lists of skills that few people going after low level dev jobs would have (especially for web developers).

"looking for graduate web developer, must know HTML 5, CSS, JS, JQuery, Java, Flash, PHP, VB.net, perl, mysql, mssql, Linux, Windows server, Active Directory, our proprietary CMS. Must have 2 years professional experience"

Someone coming out of university may have half of those skills, a reasonably skilled one around 4/5th. Annoys the hell out of me.


I've seen resumes where people have claimed to have "20 years experience with C#".
 
2013-02-19 12:34:04 PM

WhippingBoy: YodaBlues: durbnpoisn:
1.  Too many people lie or exagerate on their resume.  This is a REAL problem.  Because it has gotten companies so untrusting that they will grill you uneccessarily hard to make sure you're not one of those liars.  I've actually had to sit there and write JavaScipt on a pad and paper, or PHP on a white board, and explain how the code works. (Seriously?!)

Software companies do this not only to verify you actually understand how to code, but also to see how you think about coding. I can't freehand code to save my life, but I understand the proper way to sort an array or execute a SQL statement and being able to explain what I was trying to accomplish is just as important to them as being to memorize a languages' API and syntax.

I'm always a bit skeptical when someone can freehand a complete, useful program on a whiteboard with absolutely no syntax errors. I've found that in the majority of cases, extreme book-smarts generally translates to "mostly useless when dealing with real-world problems" (there are exceptions, of course).


This is the truth, while being able to do the SQL stuff is second hand to me and I could probably white board it or freehand it, I am not a coder, and when a position specifies 3 yrs+ experience in C++, javascript, vb script, python, ruby..etc, but in actuality you are usually piggybacking on an established framework with libraries and understanding how basic function calls and logic works in any object oriented language is enough to get you rolling and productive.

Ive learned not to worry about it in interviews and as always if asked questions like those, talk your way through EVERYTHING while you attempt to work through it.  In this day and age, anyone with the motivation and experience can google an example of what they are trying to accomplish and work it out.
 
2013-02-19 12:38:31 PM
6. "Can I set my own hours?"

9. "Do I have to be at work every day?"


These aren't all that strange, when taken in the proper context... Many places are moving to at least a partial tele-commute schedule, and this falls right in line with that. The questions could have been worded better, but I would be surprised if these two questions aren't relatively common.
 
2013-02-19 12:44:04 PM

Mikey1969: 6. "Can I set my own hours?"

9. "Do I have to be at work every day?"

These aren't all that strange, when taken in the proper context... Many places are moving to at least a partial tele-commute schedule, and this falls right in line with that. The questions could have been worded better, but I would be surprised if these two questions aren't relatively common.


The last time I've been to my company's office was 13 months ago.  All of our work is done on the clients' sites and then the rest of the time we're doing database updating.
 
2013-02-19 12:44:05 PM
Interviewed with a company one time and at the reception desk is a big countdown clock, I asked what is the countdown for?  Apparently a full blown SAP implementation in 6 weeks.  Interviewed with 6 folks that afternoon and the next day.  This was a big company also.  Average tenure about 5 months.  My main would be manager started about 2 weeks before the interview.  His manager had been there about 1 month.  Most of the peer group, 6 months or less.

Met the IT lead for the SAP implementation, consultant, leaving in about 8 weeks

Could not leave fast enough, declined the invitation for final interview

My question should have been "are you all bat shiat crazy or is it just me?"
 
2013-02-19 12:45:09 PM

cefm: How about "don't attempt to negotiate a salary that is CLEARLY outside of the range listed in the written job posting".

It makes me think you didn't read the job description, or you're an idiot, or you're a schemer.  All of these are bad.


You mean, "don't attempt to negotiate a salary that we CLEARLY stated as  competitive".  I rarely see the actual salary range stated in the job posting.
 
2013-02-19 12:46:12 PM
Basically, it can be summed up as HR sucks.
 
2013-02-19 12:49:38 PM

Girion47: Mikey1969: 6. "Can I set my own hours?"

9. "Do I have to be at work every day?"

These aren't all that strange, when taken in the proper context... Many places are moving to at least a partial tele-commute schedule, and this falls right in line with that. The questions could have been worded better, but I would be surprised if these two questions aren't relatively common.

The last time I've been to my company's office was 13 months ago.  All of our work is done on the clients' sites and then the rest of the time we're doing database updating.


I've never seen my company's office, and have never met my boss in person.
 
2013-02-19 12:51:48 PM

BarkingUnicorn: nickerj1: It's obvious that article was written by a woman.  "Do you want to take a ride in my car?" wouldn't put me off from an interviewee as I'm a guy. It's kinda weird, but wouldn't be an instant "don't hire them".  If in the interview we got to talking about cars and he asked it, it wouldn't even be weird.

I'm trying to find a job-related reason to ask such a question.


I always put a "Hobbies/activities" section on my resume.  Back in the day, when I was fresh out of college, every single interview brought up my hobbies listed.  Interviewers like to feel out your personality, and it's especially useful for some jobs/companies if you find common ground there.  If the interviewee had "restoring old cars" or "rally racing" or something on there, and I asked them about it, and then they offered to give me a ride in their car, it wouldn't be weird.  I'd probably defer the ride to after they were hired though.
 
2013-02-19 12:54:21 PM
I had the fortune to find work for a small businessman for whom you had to jump through several easy and unconventional hoops to prove that you actually read the job posting (answer questions in the form of resume formatting / etc).  The posting was incredibly sardonic in tone (basically mocking everyone who didn't read through the simple instructions for replying).  I thought it was hilarious and had a genuinely good time responding to it not even caring if I got the position because I was just happy there was a real person trying to find help apart from the sea of synergy.

The job description?  Rented Mule Wanted.  (basically doing some menial labor while 'actually knowing computers' for other stuff)

Needless to say, I got the job and I get paid decently for what I do (probably the best job I could get in these parts), but it's hardly a career and I still don't know what I can do to be a better provider @ home.  We'd like to move back closer to family and we can't since I can't shoot anywhere near my wife's salary (there is a huge dry spell for her field right now so she's lucky to have the job she does).

/start a business?
//I've seen the dumbest motherfarkers somehow stay in business
 
2013-02-19 12:54:49 PM

FatherChaos: "Do you have a business card? I need something to spit my gum in."


Hilarious.  I can picture this happening.
 
2013-02-19 12:56:59 PM

WhippingBoy: Girion47: Mikey1969: 6. "Can I set my own hours?"

9. "Do I have to be at work every day?"

These aren't all that strange, when taken in the proper context... Many places are moving to at least a partial tele-commute schedule, and this falls right in line with that. The questions could have been worded better, but I would be surprised if these two questions aren't relatively common.

The last time I've been to my company's office was 13 months ago.  All of our work is done on the clients' sites and then the rest of the time we're doing database updating.

I've never seen my company's office, and have never met my boss in person.


I kind of like it.  I met my boss during orientation, the interview was over the phone, and I haven't seen my bosses since January of last year.   With Office communicator, email and IP phones, going into an office is pointless.
 
2013-02-19 12:57:46 PM

payattention: Skarekrough - If they fire me then so be it.  It's better to get it over now than dance around it and be stressed about it for years before it happens anyway.

Gods, where was this advice six years ago?!?

I was just fired from a non-profit because the biggest wig there is a lying, back stabbing moron. It was my own naivete and desire to be a good employee for someone who most definitely did not deserve it that kept me there. I spent 6 years working myself into a massive flair-up of my depression, my anxiety, and adding panic attacks which I had never had before. I injured myself working for him and then got turned down because there was 'no evidence of injury'. Well I guess my back would have to fall out of my body, then he might get it? No way.Then, he fires me for some made up crap because he knows that, since I was the videographer for the company, I have proof of his lunacy and his stupidity. He also knew I was getting to the point where I was about to become 'indispensable', and he would therefore run the risk of me going to the real boss, the board of directors, so better to get rid of me now.

/he has no idea I have made copies of the times where he showed his ass. If he disputes the unemployment, I guess I will be using my editing skills to create a little video of who is running that place. And my selling skills to get most of the local networks to air it.
// I am 50, I do not have an expensive piece of paper, I cannot be a wage slave for you. I have skills and talents aplenty, but they are not blue-collar, nor are they useful in a manufacturing setting. Which is where all those without expensive pieces of paper end up. I can not work in a manufacturing setting because I cannot stand for long periods. (Fifteen years of land surveying work destroyed my arches and my knees).
/// in short, I am doomed. Those hateful pain pills will run out and the doc said she would not give me any more. I have to go to some specialist (translation, someone who demands more money than the doctor did) so they can create a 'pain management plan' (translation: You will be shelling out more and more money on a regular basis now) which will address one of my problems. I cannot afford to address any of then.
//// Anyone got some Seconal, or some Darvon I can use? I am thinking 20 will do the trick, if I take them all at once...


You might consider making a professional, non-threatening report to send to some of the board members, anyway. Many of them are probably ignorant that this entire thing is taking place.
 
2013-02-19 12:58:01 PM

WhippingBoy: I'm starting to understand why "millennials" are having such a tough time finding jobs...


Based on my experience, stupidity comes in all ages. I'm not involved in hiring at my company, but my direct supervisor is and we've had some real "interesting" candidates. My favorite was the guy who obviously used a cover letter template and didn't bother editing things like "enter company name here." I have noticed Millenials are more likely to have things on Facebook that are big no-nos to potential employers. If my boss found a really good (and by good, I mean bad) one, she'd forward their profile to us to mock mercilessly. There's a reason why I keep my FB private.
 
2013-02-19 01:00:31 PM

Cuyose: WhippingBoy: YodaBlues: durbnpoisn:
1.  Too many people lie or exagerate on their resume.  This is a REAL problem.  Because it has gotten companies so untrusting that they will grill you uneccessarily hard to make sure you're not one of those liars.  I've actually had to sit there and write JavaScipt on a pad and paper, or PHP on a white board, and explain how the code works. (Seriously?!)

Software companies do this not only to verify you actually understand how to code, but also to see how you think about coding. I can't freehand code to save my life, but I understand the proper way to sort an array or execute a SQL statement and being able to explain what I was trying to accomplish is just as important to them as being to memorize a languages' API and syntax.

I'm always a bit skeptical when someone can freehand a complete, useful program on a whiteboard with absolutely no syntax errors. I've found that in the majority of cases, extreme book-smarts generally translates to "mostly useless when dealing with real-world problems" (there are exceptions, of course).

This is the truth, while being able to do the SQL stuff is second hand to me and I could probably white board it or freehand it, I am not a coder, and when a position specifies 3 yrs+ experience in C++, javascript, vb script, python, ruby..etc, but in actuality you are usually piggybacking on an established framework with libraries and understanding how basic function calls and logic works in any object oriented language is enough to get you rolling and productive.

Ive learned not to worry about it in interviews and as always if asked questions like those, talk your way through EVERYTHING while you attempt to work through it.  In this day and age, anyone with the motivation and experience can google an example of what they are trying to accomplish and work it out.



I'm deffinitely not saying I'm an expert with whiteboarding code either...  The last time that happened, the guy asked me to write a PHP function to pick 5 random letters out of a string and output.  Not a complicated function.  But, I generally don't remember all the little fiddlybits with the syntax.  I just exaplained that along the way, and I did just fine...  In the real world, I would find a similar function in my own libraries, or Google it, and voila!  Nice working function.


"looking for graduate web developer, must know HTML 5, CSS, JS, JQuery, Java, Flash, PHP, VB.net, perl, mysql, mssql, Linux, Windows server, Active Directory, our proprietary CMS. Must have 2 years professional experience"


Yeah,  seriously.  Then you go for the interview, and they ask about C# and MVC3.

Another one of my favorites is, "Junior LAMP developer", that pays like $25/hr.  Where the hell are you going to find a "Junior LAMP developer"?  If you even know what that acronym means, you are already way beyond Junior level.


You go in their database and never leave. I still get calls from Mr. Santa Monica Office, or, as I have him marked in my phone "DO NOT ANSWER! DICKHOLE ALERT!", despite my repeated refusals to work with his company. The "job application" you fill out is most likely so the data entry monkeys who put it into the system only have to work with one format for every applicant.

I've gotten so annoyed by that sort of thing that I write back to the recruiter saying, "Where on my resume does it say I'm anywhere near San Diego, or North Carolina?!"
It's even more amusing when they are offering a 6 month contract.  Right...  I will relocate my family for a 6 month contract.
 
2013-02-19 01:02:21 PM

DarkSoulNoHope: Other disastrous questions to ask during a job interview:

"I got fired for not making my sales goal at my previous job, does this disqualify me from consideration?"

"Are you a company that tells me I work weekdays only, but will you still ask me to come in for Saturday and Sunday work and late night meetings, even when you know I will have other plans?"

(Chick Fil-A Interview) "Is it alright that I'm Jewish?"

(Synagogue Volunteer Interview) "Is it alright that I'm Muslim?"

(Hot Topic Interview) "Well I'm not comfortable to come here and need to ask for a job, but I have to know first, is it too much to hope for that you get some *real* Goth music CDs on those shelves once in a while?!"

(Muslim School Interview) "So, have you accepted Christ as your lord and savior?"


Having been to Chik's HDQ and seen them open/close meetings with a prayer, I don't think they hire anyone who does not acknowledge Jesus as Lord and Savior.

So that one is a pretty valid question.
 
2013-02-19 01:02:32 PM

Girion47: The last time I've been to my company's office was 13 months ago.  All of our work is done on the clients' sites and then the rest of the time we're doing database updating.


But did you give your boss a ride in your car?   ;-)
 
2013-02-19 01:06:37 PM

WordyGrrl: abigsmurf:  Something far worse: sent off loads of applications, got a call asking for me to come in to talk about a job. Got all nervous, prepared for the interview, suit dry cleaned etc.

Did a quick check of the business before I left so I knew what they did... It was an agency. They'd acted like it was an actual job interview just so they could get my name on their books. I was mildly vexed to say the least.

I had the same thing happen, though I didn't find out it was a headhunter agency until I took the day off (without pay) from my temp job for the "interview." After about 30 minutes of "interview chit chat," the gal finally revealed that they were a headhunter agency and wanted to charge me $4,000 for them to find me a job. "Most young people just put it on their credit card," she said.


Wow.  I would have to resist the urge to ask how many people punch them in the face after making such an asinine proposal.
 
2013-02-19 01:07:40 PM

durbnpoisn: And the whole thing with having to fill out a job application like you're applying at Burger King, is completely absurd.  What do they do with that application after you fill it out?  Do they enter it into a system?  Do they just put it on file?  If so, why not just use my resume?!


One I ran into last fall: I filled out a complete job application online when applying for the job. My resume was still a must. I then filled out another job application when I went in for my first of 3 interviews. But the time they'd gotten around to the 3rd interview, I'd been offered and accepted another job.
 
2013-02-19 01:07:49 PM

mcreadyblue: Having been to Chik's HDQ and seen them open/close meetings with a prayer, I don't think they hire anyone who does not acknowledge Jesus as Lord and Savior.

So that one is a pretty valid question.


Actually it's not, it can be seen as a form religious discrimination in hiring practices and is against the law.
 
2013-02-19 01:16:23 PM
Telecommuting one day per week is now a job requirement for me.  Either that or a boatload of money.
 
2013-02-19 01:17:16 PM

StrangeQ: WordyGrrl: abigsmurf:  Something far worse: sent off loads of applications, got a call asking for me to come in to talk about a job. Got all nervous, prepared for the interview, suit dry cleaned etc.

Did a quick check of the business before I left so I knew what they did... It was an agency. They'd acted like it was an actual job interview just so they could get my name on their books. I was mildly vexed to say the least.

I had the same thing happen, though I didn't find out it was a headhunter agency until I took the day off (without pay) from my temp job for the "interview." After about 30 minutes of "interview chit chat," the gal finally revealed that they were a headhunter agency and wanted to charge me $4,000 for them to find me a job. "Most young people just put it on their credit card," she said.

Wow.  I would have to resist the urge to ask how many people punch them in the face after making such an asinine proposal.



Next time someone says something like that, remind them they get paid by commission from where THEY place YOU.  Never EVER give someone money out of pocket to get you a job.


Here's another good horror story:
I interviewed up in New York City.  The company seemed pretty good, and all my interviews went well.  But I already had a pretty good job, and I wasn't desperate.  So I wasn't too thrilled - especially since I would HATE commuting to NYC.
But a couple of days later, they really started pushing for me to take the job.  "We'll give you more money.  We'll buy you a laptop.  We'll pay your travel expenses!!".
The vice president of the company even called me personally to really push the point.  So, after all, I gave in and accepted the job.
He sent me out the offer letter.  I was ready to sign it, send it back, and give notice at my current job.
Then the VP calls me and tells me that the board cut his budjet and he has to retract the offer!!

I was like, "WHAT?!? After all that?!"
 
2013-02-19 01:25:01 PM

Mikey1969: Girion47: The last time I've been to my company's office was 13 months ago.  All of our work is done on the clients' sites and then the rest of the time we're doing database updating.

But did you give your boss a ride in your car?   ;-)


No, just my cute co-worker to the after orientation open bar/free sushi thing the company put on.
 
2013-02-19 01:34:23 PM

WhippingBoy: Girion47: Mikey1969: 6. "Can I set my own hours?"

9. "Do I have to be at work every day?"

These aren't all that strange, when taken in the proper context... Many places are moving to at least a partial tele-commute schedule, and this falls right in line with that. The questions could have been worded better, but I would be surprised if these two questions aren't relatively common.

The last time I've been to my company's office was 13 months ago.  All of our work is done on the clients' sites and then the rest of the time we're doing database updating.

I've never seen my company's office, and have never met my boss in person.


That. Is. Awesome.
 
2013-02-19 01:37:15 PM

vudukungfu: I work for a software company. When I went to apply for the job, the whereabouts of the office was unknown. It still is, too. I was told to find the company's website. not an easy task. Then apply on line. One of the most poorly designed websites I finally found had me clicking everywhere. I discovered I would need to download a PDF, then fill it out, then return it via email. then wait. and they called like the next day and wanted me to come in an interview. then, and only then, was I given the location of the office. They don't like walk ins.
Been here almost 12 years. They gave me a DOS test, which I failed and said I wouldn't have been hired but because I worked at a deli counter for 12 years, they would hire me based on customer service skills.
I've seen the kind of customer service geeks give, and it's not nice. Me, I know what it feels like to be a n00b, so I'm patient. So here I site, hidden away in a secret location in between the DHS and the National Guard offices helping little old ladies with AOL accounts attach files and download forms and figure out the num lock keys. All in all, I'm glad I have a job that is moderately challenging, while letting me play white night all day.
Pretty good deal.



We were hiring and had gone to a job fair at NJIT.   During the Job Fair we make little notes on the resume (NG = No Good, BC = Bad Communication) so the bad ones all go in one pile and the others we call for Phone interviews, then narrow it down to an in house.


So for two or three days we get swamped with kids.  We have standard questions, goal, all that stuff.  One kid NAILS the interview, but we didn't have him on the schedule.  We just found a time for him and lucky us.


We wrote up the job offer and I went through all the files to find his resume for an address or something.  Finally found it and in the top was the note 'ass'


Kid just snuck in, nailed the interview and was going to get the job until I found out that at the job fair we thought he was and 'ass' and never called him for the phone or in house.


 
2013-02-19 01:41:35 PM

Girion47: BarkingUnicorn: GalFriday: I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview.  I wouldn't let him and she almost cried.  She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.

Sounds like you violated the ADA. ;-)  Disabled people are allowed to have helpers during job interviews.

You would think they would arrange that prior to the interview if they were going down that route.  She can't really violate the ADA if she wasn't notified of the disability.


But they can still get the lab to cut a check for denting her delicate psyche...
 
2013-02-19 01:44:10 PM

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: After hours, who says it;s restricted to the restroom?


I like you - thanks for the lulz.

Related subject: I just got back from an interview for an IT job. It went pretty well. I did NOT ask for the busty receptionist's number, so at least I got that going for me.
 
2013-02-19 01:51:01 PM

CtrlAltDestroy: The current 30-50 somethings don't get to biatch about the current teen and 20 somethings. You and your peers raised them.

/Not that every generation doesn't complain about every following generation anyway.
//Interviews as a tradesman sound easier than those in the business world.
///Grateful for that.


I'm 35 years old.  I didn't raise any of these 'em.
 
2013-02-19 01:51:04 PM

xalres: abigsmurf: doczoidberg: I remember when I was looking for a new job, I sent out so many resumes and applications that I couldn't even remember them all.

Once or twice, I got called to an interview not knowing what the hell the position even was.

I didn't get those jobs.

Something far worse: sent off loads of applications, got a call asking for me to come in to talk about a job. Got all nervous, prepared for the interview, suit dry cleaned etc.

Did a quick check of the business before I left so I knew what they did... It was an agency. They'd acted like it was an actual job interview just so they could get my name on their books. I was mildly vexed to say the least.

I friggin hate it when they do that. I've sworn off dealing with recruiters with a face to face requirement because more often than not it's a massive waste of time. You waste the time and gas to get to their offices, waste $8 - $15 to park in the parking structure because they don't validate, only to have a 5 minute conversation with the head recruiter about your career goals before they sit you in a room and have different guys come in and pitch jobs at you that either don't meet your requirements (salary, location, contract instead of full-perm) or you're unqualified for (I'm looking for a .NET position, what makes you think I can also program in Java? Is it in my resume?). I really wish I could just work directly with companies but being in IT pretty much means everybody feels like they have to go through an agency.

I had a recruiter who insisted I drive from the San Gabriel Valley to meet with them at their office in Santa Monica after I got off work. He couldn't understand why I balked at spending what promised to be 2 1/2 hours in rush hour L.A. traffic just to have a 30 minute meeting. I had to hang up on him because he wouldn't take no for an answer.


The face to face requirement is typically to weed out anyone fishing for relocation or a visa or something.  Recruiters HATE it when a candidate springs that on the client after being submitted for consideration.

Yes, it's bullshiat and I also hate it.  Just saying there is a reason they do it.
 
2013-02-19 02:00:13 PM

WhippingBoy: Girion47: Mikey1969: 6. "Can I set my own hours?"

9. "Do I have to be at work every day?"

These aren't all that strange, when taken in the proper context... Many places are moving to at least a partial tele-commute schedule, and this falls right in line with that. The questions could have been worded better, but I would be surprised if these two questions aren't relatively common.

The last time I've been to my company's office was 13 months ago.  All of our work is done on the clients' sites and then the rest of the time we're doing database updating.

I've never seen my company's office, and have never met my boss in person.


Sounds like your boss is sitting in his dark office right now stroking a white cat.
 
2013-02-19 02:02:54 PM

DarkSoulNoHope: WhippingBoy: Girion47: Mikey1969: 6. "Can I set my own hours?"

9. "Do I have to be at work every day?"

These aren't all that strange, when taken in the proper context... Many places are moving to at least a partial tele-commute schedule, and this falls right in line with that. The questions could have been worded better, but I would be surprised if these two questions aren't relatively common.

The last time I've been to my company's office was 13 months ago.  All of our work is done on the clients' sites and then the rest of the time we're doing database updating.

I've never seen my company's office, and have never met my boss in person.

Sounds like your boss is sitting in his dark office right now stroking a white cat.


At least we hope it's a cat. We can't see under his desk from here.
 
2013-02-19 02:10:38 PM

Girion47: Invisible Dynamite Monkey: Rickenbacker: Not at all surprised someone asked about having to work every day.  It's amazing the young ones I see who come in and want to dictate what hours they will work during the interview.

Not a millennial here but I'm not going to work at a company that doesn't give me flexible hours. Not spending an extra hour a day in my car so I can be at work at a certain time. I'm either in early and out early or in late and out late. I have better things to do. Sometimes that includes learning things for my profession in my free time. I also know there's always someone else who will be flexible for me.

/jobs that have been flexible with my time, I've been flexible with their time.

Unofficial flexibility is great.  Maybe I don't want to take half an hour for lunch, I'd rather get in at 8, leave at 4.   If I get hungry I can eat at my desk and not slow work down, a granola bar doesn't take 30 minutes to eat.


THIS. My office used to have a strict "start at 7:30, leave at 4:30" rule, but eventually it got a lot more flexible. My assistant, a fantastic engineer, just cannot come in at her scheduled 8:00 in the morning if her life depended on it. She works over in the evening to make up the time though, and does enough work for two people, so it doesn't bother me.

Had one woman interview for an engineering position, and when I asked her if she had designed an interchange before (this is a highway design position, btw), she asks "what is an interchange?". She didn't get the job...
 
2013-02-19 02:20:26 PM

Bendal: Had one woman interview for an engineering position, and when I asked her if she had designed an interchange before (this is a highway design position, btw), she asks "what is an interchange?". She didn't get the job...


That's scary.
 
2013-02-19 02:27:28 PM

Proletariat In Charge: cefm: How about "don't attempt to negotiate a salary that is CLEARLY outside of the range listed in the written job posting".

It makes me think you didn't read the job description, or you're an idiot, or you're a schemer.  All of these are bad.

You mean, "don't attempt to negotiate a salary that we CLEARLY stated as  competitive".  I rarely see the actual salary range stated in the job posting.


I hate that. All companies do it these days. Probably because they don't want to put in the job description for a Retail Manager, "Must do $250,000 in sales a year" along with "Salary: $25,000 annually". They wouldn't get any people (cept for the really desperate ones, who probably don't have the experience) to apply for the job.
 
2013-02-19 02:32:51 PM
What's with the "Please write down your salary expectations?" question ... uhhhhhhhh ... you really want ME to fill in what my salary expectations are? Why don't you tell me what you're willing to offer?

It's like going to a used car dealer without any prices on the car and then expecting someone is going to offer you $10k for a 1986 Yugo with 4 flat tires.

Fail.
 
2013-02-19 02:42:45 PM
I always thought the correct answer when someone asks of salary expectations was to say "Open".

Although, I have had my share of times when that answer didn't cut the mustard, and I had to actually give a number.  In those cases, I would say, "Well, my last position I was making $suchAndSuch", and start from there.

$suchAndSuch > $myActualSalary, unless there was no way they could do that.
 
2013-02-19 02:44:09 PM

FizixJunkee: I'm 35 years old.  I didn't raise any of these 'em.


Maybe not. But as I did say in that post, your peers did. No tree, no apple to fall from it.

/Gen Y/Millennial
//Doing well for myself, professionally.
 
2013-02-19 02:44:44 PM
Salary expectations? I usual write either a) the advertised pay if there is one, or b) the state minimum wage.
 
2013-02-19 02:53:28 PM

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: Salary expectations? I usual write either a) the advertised pay if there is one, or b) the state minimum wage.


Why would you put minimum wage when you know the job is worth (for example) 13-18 dollars per hour? That's just lowballing yourself.
 
2013-02-19 02:53:53 PM

durbnpoisn: I always thought the correct answer when someone asks of salary expectations was to say "Open".

Although, I have had my share of times when that answer didn't cut the mustard, and I had to actually give a number.  In those cases, I would say, "Well, my last position I was making $suchAndSuch", and start from there.

$suchAndSuch > $myActualSalary, unless there was no way they could do that.


I agree with this. With companies eliminating raises these days and blaming it on phantom hardships (which most likely don't exist when the company newsletter states "3rd Qtr Record Profits!"), you need to over exaggerate your current salary in order to see if you can get a higher one in the new position.
 
2013-02-19 02:54:02 PM

durbnpoisn: 1.  Too many people lie or exagerate on their resume.


I have the exact opposite problem. I tend to under-estimate my abilities. I'm not too good in interviews (nerves, social anxiety even) and am desperately afraid of being caught out if I pad my resume. But, I'm a quick learner and can figure things out on my own.

Example- I worked a few days for a video transfer place- they digitized VCR tapes onto DVDs. They used a script in Photoshop to import frames of the videos to make chapter listings for the DVD. On one of their 4 machines the script didn't work. I had never used Photoshop, per se, before, much less scripts for it, but I took a look, and found the problem- the paths it was using were wrong. Corrected it and increased their production by 33%!

I like to fool around with automating tasks. One job I had (retail helpdesk), we had to run various SQL commands during yearly inventory to clear the inventory tables and such. I poked around and found 'isql', the command line version. A few batch files and a little Qbasic later, and I had a handy program that could do in seconds what the other techs took a half hour to do.

I'm good with computer hardware too. Built several computers, even a TVPC (it's a 'Home Theater PC', but I don't really have a "home theater", just the TV, so...). A job doing computer repair and custom builds would be great... but I don't deal well with customers directly. (Like many nerds/geeks, I'm socially... awkward. I prefer computers to people.)

Also, I don't have any real 'formal' training. Combine that with my poor interviewing and dislike of padding my resume, and I can't get hired, although I could probably do a lot of the jobs out there, with minimal training. Anyone in the Milwaukee area need a smart guy who both likes working with computers and is good at it, but doesn't interview well or like dealing with customers?
 
2013-02-19 02:59:12 PM

lackadaisicalfreakshow: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: Salary expectations? I usual write either a) the advertised pay if there is one, or b) the state minimum wage.

Why would you put minimum wage when you know the job is worth (for example) 13-18 dollars per hour? That's just lowballing yourself.


I ain't worth shiat.
 
2013-02-19 03:10:20 PM
Does this skirt make my dick look fat?
 
2013-02-19 03:13:26 PM

seadoo2006: What's with the "Please write down your salary expectations?" question ... uhhhhhhhh ... you really want ME to fill in what my salary expectations are? Why don't you tell me what you're willing to offer?

It's like going to a used car dealer without any prices on the car and then expecting someone is going to offer you $10k for a 1986 Yugo with 4 flat tires.

Fail.


This is done so often, you may appear unprepared if you're uncomfortable with the question. When you have a certain range of talent, charisma and experience, there's no need to lowball yourself unless you really really need the job.  Research the market value for similar positions in the area.

/you also have to do your own annual reviews now
 
2013-02-19 03:22:45 PM
THIS topic makes me grumble, grumble, grumble.

1)  HR people are overpaid word finders.  They don't know shiat about the jobs they post, and if you don't know shiat about it, you shouldn't be in charge of finding someone for it.
     a)  They wanted someone to teach classes to government employees, classes I'm very well accustomed to as I worked for the gov.  They wanted someone with a degree in Education, Psych., or English.
          I have a Master's in Linguistics and used to teach English at a community college and university.  I did not get considered for the job because I did not have the degrees they were looking for.
2)  Apparently, the corporate world finds my previous work as a teacher and manager of a division for a large city inefficient for their "very different work environment."  That's what the lady at the temp
     agency told me.  So, here I am farking around on Fark at my corporate temp job that is so ridiculously easy, I have time to fark around on Fark.  And here is the big difference between the government
     job and the corporation: Money.  The corporation has more money.
 
2013-02-19 03:23:06 PM
Sim Tree - You might consider making a professional, non-threatening report to send to some of the board members, anyway. Many of them are probably ignorant that this entire thing is taking place.

Which, interestingly enough, is why I see no reason to try that. They live in a bigger bubble than he does, and they do not like people making waves. That's why I thought about what I mentioned. Trust me, you want something to change at your workplace? Get the client base riled up. Nothing gets the brass to alter their way of life like threatening their income. For myself, it is over. I am tired of working myself into an early grave for people who don't give a crap about me except when I am making them look good (and the people who I made them look good to are present, otherwise, I don't even get that). What kills me is their statement that they 'like to 'do things' for their staff. Things like buying cheap snack foods that are overloaded with sugar to make sure we all become diabetics. Things like giving us all stupid little calendar books and other cheap and useless trinkets. I once mentioned that if they wanted to reward us for doing a good job, they could give us a raise. You would have thought I said i was going to run up the hall and gun down the entire staff and then burn down the building. Face it, to be a successful in the business world, you have to be less than human in order to do the disgusting things you have to do to be a success. I am just not that evil, nor do I want to be.

//Still no word on those Seconals?
///a gun would work,  but its looking like I won't be able to get one of those either.
//// figures... can't get a job, can't remove myself from the equation... lovely
 
2013-02-19 03:28:34 PM

payattention: Sim Tree - You might consider making a professional, non-threatening report to send to some of the board members, anyway. Many of them are probably ignorant that this entire thing is taking place.

Which, interestingly enough, is why I see no reason to try that. They live in a bigger bubble than he does, and they do not like people making waves. That's why I thought about what I mentioned. Trust me, you want something to change at your workplace? Get the client base riled up. Nothing gets the brass to alter their way of life like threatening their income. For myself, it is over. I am tired of working myself into an early grave for people who don't give a crap about me except when I am making them look good (and the people who I made them look good to are present, otherwise, I don't even get that). What kills me is their statement that they 'like to 'do things' for their staff. Things like buying cheap snack foods that are overloaded with sugar to make sure we all become diabetics. Things like giving us all stupid little calendar books and other cheap and useless trinkets. I once mentioned that if they wanted to reward us for doing a good job, they could give us a raise. You would have thought I said i was going to run up the hall and gun down the entire staff and then burn down the building. Face it, to be a successful in the business world, you have to be less than human in order to do the disgusting things you have to do to be a success. I am just not that evil, nor do I want to be.

//Still no word on those Seconals?
///a gun would work,  but its looking like I won't be able to get one of those either.
//// figures... can't get a job, can't remove myself from the equation... lovely


If you really want to die, go hang out in a ghetto, someone will oblige you.
 
2013-02-19 03:44:05 PM

payattention: Sim Tree - You might consider making a professional, non-threatening report to send to some of the board members, anyway. Many of them are probably ignorant that this entire thing is taking place.

Which, interestingly enough, is why I see no reason to try that. They live in a bigger bubble than he does, and they do not like people making waves. That's why I thought about what I mentioned. Trust me, you want something to change at your workplace? Get the client base riled up. Nothing gets the brass to alter their way of life like threatening their income. For myself, it is over. I am tired of working myself into an early grave for people who don't give a crap about me except when I am making them look good (and the people who I made them look good to are present, otherwise, I don't even get that). What kills me is their statement that they 'like to 'do things' for their staff. Things like buying cheap snack foods that are overloaded with sugar to make sure we all become diabetics. Things like giving us all stupid little calendar books and other cheap and useless trinkets. I once mentioned that if they wanted to reward us for doing a good job, they could give us a raise. You would have thought I said i was going to run up the hall and gun down the entire staff and then burn down the building. Face it, to be a successful in the business world, you have to be less than human in order to do the disgusting things you have to do to be a success. I am just not that evil, nor do I want to be.

//Still no word on those Seconals?
///a gun would work,  but its looking like I won't be able to get one of those either.
//// figures... can't get a job, can't remove myself from the equation... lovely


Seriously, man. Everyone needs to get their information from some source. If the upper management is collectively going rogue to hide something from the board, the board has no way of finding out about it directly. Everything goes through the game of telephone. At least consider it. If you've already lost the job, what would you have to lose from simply telling them why? Consider it an exit interview in reverse.
 
2013-02-19 04:25:10 PM

Sim Tree


If you've already lost the job, what would you have to lose from simply telling them why? Consider it an exit interview in reverse.


And be sure to provide verifiable corroborating information so you don't look like the bitter loner who just got fired.

The phrase "I have reason to believe that my termination was unlawful in this jurisdiction" may help, too.
 
2013-02-19 04:34:48 PM
Do I have to wait a whole year before I can take a vacation?
 
2013-02-19 04:44:26 PM

YodaBlues: mcreadyblue: Having been to Chik's HDQ and seen them open/close meetings with a prayer, I don't think they hire anyone who does not acknowledge Jesus as Lord and Savior.

So that one is a pretty valid question.

Actually it's not, it can be seen as a form religious discrimination in hiring practices and is against the law.


Thats one big reason companies use a recruiter.


I've had recruiters tell me a company is looking for a minority or younger applicant. Saves both me and them time.
 
2013-02-19 04:47:18 PM
Girion47 - If you really want to die, go hang out in a ghetto, someone will oblige you.

Yep. As a older white guy, that should do the trick. However, I live in an area that the rest of the city feels is 'ghetto'... so I guess I should go to the 'ritzy' section of town. They are mostly gun-toting Republicans and would have no qualms about shooting some 'lefty-looking, non-conformist-acting, librul hippy' in the face. And the irony of it is that's where most of the 'upstanding' people who work where i used to work reside...

Sim Tree - ...what would you have to lose from simply telling them why?

I was informed that I would get a good referral from the boss... the implication was 'as long as you just leave and don't say anything'. I do not have the strength, the knowledge, or the money to challenge these people. Plus, even if I wanted to, how do you think the hiring world is going to look at me once they find out I am trying to take my old employer to court? Would you hire someone that has established that they will go to every applicable agency in the county, state and country if they feel they are being mistreated? Despite the wonderful 'whistle blower' clause making the rounds these days, businesses do not take kindly to people who have done this, regardless of what they may say in public. I appreciate the advice though. And, I might decide to try it. However, these people are all 'cut from the same cloth', so to speak. They will be more likely to defend their own rather than accept some non rich person's account of anything. (the 'poorest' person on that board owns three businesses and just bought his three kids new cars... they are all grown, BTW.)
 
2013-02-19 04:52:47 PM

WordyGrrl: I had the same thing happen, though I didn't find out it was a headhunter agency until I took the day off (without pay) from my temp job for the "interview." After about 30 minutes of "interview chit chat," the gal finally revealed that they were a headhunter agency and wanted to charge me $4,000 for them to find me a job. "Most young people just put it on their credit card," she said.


Ew, that was a scam. Very similar to the tactic used by certain national dating agencies. Once you pay them, they may or may not do anything to find you a job besides sending you generic job ads. Why bother expending the energy when they've already got your money, and have already demonstrated they're not interested in up-front reputation.
 
2013-02-19 06:04:34 PM

WhippingBoy: As a straight, white man, the best interviews are, of course, with other straight white men.
The receptionist leads you into the interview room and says "Mr. White, you're 10:00 interview is here". He'll look up, and instantly you'll see the sparkle in his eyes.
As soon as the door is closed, he breaks out the bourbon, and you spend the rest of the "interview" talking about golf or how much you'd both love to bang the receptionist.
Once in a while, you'll talk about work-related stuff (like how he'll get Rajinder or Denise to do all the crap jobs, or how Monday mornings [hangover] and Friday afternoons [happy hour at the titty bar] will be spent in special, offsite "training" sessions).


Bourbon?  I had to settle for cognac at my last interview.  The receptionist even made me wear a condom!

Things just aren't like they used to be.
 
2013-02-19 06:18:09 PM

WordyGrrl: abigsmurf:  Something far worse: sent off loads of applications, got a call asking for me to come in to talk about a job. Got all nervous, prepared for the interview, suit dry cleaned etc.

Did a quick check of the business before I left so I knew what they did... It was an agency. They'd acted like it was an actual job interview just so they could get my name on their books. I was mildly vexed to say the least.

I had the same thing happen, though I didn't find out it was a headhunter agency until I took the day off (without pay) from my temp job for the "interview." After about 30 minutes of "interview chit chat," the gal finally revealed that they were a headhunter agency and wanted to charge me $4,000 for them to find me a job. "Most young people just put it on their credit card," she said.


Why are you people not checking into the company in advance?  Even if not to weed out scammers, managers like it when you know something about the company when you show up.  You should be researching them as part of your normal interview preparation.
I get recruiter emails a lot, where they have a great job with "one of their clients".  I don't even talk to them on the phone until they send me the name of the company and a specific job description.  (I love when the description they send me is like, "The Software Engineer III develops software solutions with a variety of technologies, communicates with product management, provides time estimates, and is responsible for creating new features as well as supporting existing solutions".  Gee, is that what a software engineer does?)
 
2013-02-19 06:27:18 PM

durbnpoisn: You go in their database and never leave. I still get calls from Mr. Santa Monica Office, or, as I have him marked in my phone "DO NOT ANSWER! DICKHOLE ALERT!", despite my repeated refusals to work with his company. The "job application" you fill out is most likely so the data entry monkeys who put it into the system only have to work with one format for every applicant.

I've gotten so annoyed by that sort of thing that I write back to the recruiter saying, "Where on my resume does it say I'm anywhere near San Diego, or North Carolina?!"
It's even more amusing when they are offering a 6 month contract. Right... I will relocate my family for a 6 month contract.


I love the guys who email my college address and are like "I found your resume in our database and think you'd be a great fit for this entry level job for $35k/year"  Jesus guys, if you think the resume you got from me in 2004 is indicative of my current skill level, how can I be a "great fit" for any job?
Or: Why would I want to work for the software company that's not smart enough to sort search results by timestamp and/or discard expired documents?
 
2013-02-19 06:33:36 PM

serial_crusher: WordyGrrl: abigsmurf:  Something far worse: sent off loads of applications, got a call asking for me to come in to talk about a job. Got all nervous, prepared for the interview, suit dry cleaned etc.

Did a quick check of the business before I left so I knew what they did... It was an agency. They'd acted like it was an actual job interview just so they could get my name on their books. I was mildly vexed to say the least.

I had the same thing happen, though I didn't find out it was a headhunter agency until I took the day off (without pay) from my temp job for the "interview." After about 30 minutes of "interview chit chat," the gal finally revealed that they were a headhunter agency and wanted to charge me $4,000 for them to find me a job. "Most young people just put it on their credit card," she said.

Why are you people not checking into the company in advance?  Even if not to weed out scammers, managers like it when you know something about the company when you show up.  You should be researching them as part of your normal interview preparation.


My headhunter encounter happened in the mid-90s, and the company didn't have any sort of internet presence yet. At the time, most of my resumes went out by snail mail to damn near any company advertising in the want ads. But to this day, I refuse to apply to any company with "agency" in the title.
 
2013-02-19 06:37:01 PM
Some of these are not stupid questions per se, but they're treated as such.

3. "Do you allow midday naps?"

Plenty of people take midday naps at work, without asking, and without making up the time.  I'm guessing the person who asked this was trying to determine if he could take 30 minutes in the afternoon to nap, and then work later, because it made him more productive.  I don't see how that can be a problem, but the mere suggestion of "naps" can get you labelled as lazy.  That's stupid.  The guy didn't ask if it was OK to embezzle.

6. "Can I set my own hours?"

Same basic thing.  I wouldn't assume this means, "Can I just work one hour a day if I want?"  It's more like, is it possible to determine what set of hours is best for everyone?  If you have to work directly with your coworkers, 8 hours a day, then yes you have to work the same hours.  If not, you don't, but some employers still think strictly in the mindset of "be here by 8 at the latest, never leave before 5 at the earliest, no matter what."  Even if there is no reason for it.  The goal ought to be getting the most productivity out of happy employees, not getting everyone to line up their pencils in straight rows on their desks.

7. "What job is this for?"

Sure, you should know what job you're going for.  I have plenty of stories of people who interviewed for a job, were hired, and then found out that they were dropped into an almost completely different, far worse, job.  And the employer didn't see any problem with this.  So although I wouldn't ask, "What job is this for," I would feel comfortable probing to determine just what the job will actually entail, regardless of the blurb.  I had something like this happen to me once; when, 18 months later, I announced I was leaving, my manager was stunned--hurt, even.  "But why would you leave?"  I was able to bring up several points made during our interview, and remind him of the kind of work he told me I would do, and I had reminded him of this several times, and none of it ever happened.  OK he still thought it was "wrong" and "unfair" of me to leave, but I felt a lot better having those points established.

10. "How do you think I did on the interview?"

Again, clearly not a good question to ask.  But it's infuriating when you go through a lengthy interview process, and you never hear anything back from the company.  Not days, not weeks, not months later.  When does an employer ever tolerate that kind of behavior from an employee?  I remember one case where I never heard back from them, and when a couple of pals asked what I thought about other jobs they listed, I shared my story and recommended they stay away.  If they behave that way during the interview process, who knows what they'll do once you're hired and they feel they own you.

Having said all that, I also know that there are a lot of clueless people who say a lot of clueless things in interviews.
 
2013-02-19 07:18:29 PM
I got a job as a camp counselor after telling the director, upon being asked how I was with children, that I make them cry more often than they should.
 
2013-02-19 07:33:36 PM

serial_crusher: I love the guys who email my college address and are like "I found your resume in our database and think you'd be a great fit for this entry level job for $35k/year"  Jesus guys, if you think the resume you got from me in 2004 is indicative of my current skill level, how can I be a "great fit" for any job?
Or: Why would I want to work for the software company that's not smart enough to sort search results by timestamp and/or discard expired documents?


Just cause they found your resume doesn't mean they read your resume.
 
2013-02-19 07:53:17 PM
Can I clean my rifles during lunch time?
 
2013-02-19 08:01:15 PM

Deep Contact: Can I clean my rifles during lunch time?


If you worked for a guns and ammo store, they would actually like this extra unpaid effort on your part!
 
2013-02-19 08:09:12 PM

nickerj1: I always put a "Hobbies/activities" section on my resume.


The last guy I interviewed had a hobbies section on his resume and my immediate reaction was "there's no way 'neuroscience' is one of his hobbies."
 
2013-02-19 08:15:25 PM

GoldenEagle: nickerj1: I always put a "Hobbies/activities" section on my resume.

The last guy I interviewed had a hobbies section on his resume and my immediate reaction was "there's no way 'neuroscience' is one of his hobbies."


You can't really be sure. Was it this guy?

mimg.ugo.com
 
2013-02-19 08:40:02 PM

Skarekrough: cfreak: Rickenbacker: Not at all surprised someone asked about having to work every day.  It's amazing the young ones I see who come in and want to dictate what hours they will work during the interview.

As an IT worker it amazes me that there are still businesses who think my job is 9 - 5 and then turns around wanting late meetings, weekend work, etc.

This to the n'th degree.

I work a job now where they will dock pay and bonuses if I'm late or leave early.

They wanted me to come in on Saturday and rebuild someone's email.  I told them they would need to schedule their tragedies during business hours otherwise they would need to review their policy regarding my attendance.

If they fire me then so be it.  It's better to get it over now than dance around it and be stressed about it for years before it happens anyway.


Wouldn't getting fired make it much harder to get another job?

Interviewer: Why did you leave your last job.
Candidate: I was fired.
Interviewer: Buh-bye!
 
2013-02-19 08:43:49 PM

WhippingBoy: GalFriday: I just interviewed an idiot this morning that brought her dad with her to sit in on the interview.  I wouldn't let him and she almost cried.  She graduated college in 1998 so she is at least 30 years old. Then during the interview, she only gave one word answers and didn't ask any questions.

I am not hiring her.

Sounds like the poor girl had a debilitating mental illness and was trying her best.
At least you get to feel superior to her, and show the internet how cool you are.


Yes. It sounds like social phobia.

I also suffer from social phobia and was long term unemployed because I couldn't sell myself effectively in an interview. In fact I couldn't even get an interview because I couldn't talk to anyone on the phone. I finally got treatment and then a job.

A lot of people assumed I was just a slacker who didn't want to work.
 
2013-02-19 08:49:10 PM

DarkSoulNoHope: Other disastrous questions to ask during a job interview:

"I got fired for not making my sales goal at my previous job, does this disqualify me from consideration?"

"Are you a company that tells me I work weekdays only, but will you still ask me to come in for Saturday and Sunday work and late night meetings, even when you know I will have other plans?"

(Chick Fil-A Interview) "Is it alright that I'm Jewish?"

(Synagogue Volunteer Interview) "Is it alright that I'm Muslim?"

(Hot Topic Interview) "Well I'm not comfortable to come here and need to ask for a job, but I have to know first, is it too much to hope for that you get some *real* Goth music CDs on those shelves once in a while?!"

(Muslim School Interview) "So, have you accepted Christ as your lord and savior?"


One more...

"errr, ya couldn't lend me fifty bucks could ya maaaate?"
 
2013-02-19 08:53:46 PM

nickerj1: It's obvious that article was written by a woman.


The big "Melissa" in the article headline next to a sketch of the author must have tipped you off, eh?
 
2013-02-19 08:57:33 PM

kg2095: Skarekrough: cfreak: Rickenbacker: Not at all surprised someone asked about having to work every day.  It's amazing the young ones I see who come in and want to dictate what hours they will work during the interview.

As an IT worker it amazes me that there are still businesses who think my job is 9 - 5 and then turns around wanting late meetings, weekend work, etc.

This to the n'th degree.

I work a job now where they will dock pay and bonuses if I'm late or leave early.

They wanted me to come in on Saturday and rebuild someone's email.  I told them they would need to schedule their tragedies during business hours otherwise they would need to review their policy regarding my attendance.

If they fire me then so be it.  It's better to get it over now than dance around it and be stressed about it for years before it happens anyway.

Wouldn't getting fired make it much harder to get another job?

Interviewer: Why did you leave your last job.
Candidate: I was fired.
Interviewer: Buh-bye!


When you have all day to look for a new job and can be available for an interview and have all the extra time to add new skills to your resume.....eh, not nearly the hindrance you might suspect.

And the conversation scenario you set up....it's a nice fantasy.  As a headhunter you are required to come to the table with a certain number of candidates for them to pick from so it behooves you to be nice to potential candidates.  Even if the candidates don't work out you never know if something will come across your desk the next day, next week, or next month or year for which they are a perfect match.  So even if the departure wasn't under the best conditions it is in the best interest to keep you in their good graces.

So, back to the fryolator with you.  There's alot there to digest so try and not to ignore the buzzer and don't forget your hairnet.
 
2013-02-19 09:40:51 PM

abigsmurf: durbnpoisn: After having done a gazillion or so interviews over the past few years, I deffinitely can say what is wrong with the interview process and hiring proctices today...

1.  Too many people lie or exagerate on their resume.  This is a REAL problem.  Because it has gotten companies so untrusting that they will grill you uneccessarily hard to make sure you're not one of those liars.  I've actually had to sit there and write JavaScipt on a pad and paper, or PHP on a white board, and explain how the code works. (Seriously?!)

This isn't helped by insane shopping lists of skills that few people going after low level dev jobs would have (especially for web developers).

"looking for graduate web developer, must know HTML 5, CSS, JS, JQuery, Java, Flash, PHP, VB.net, perl, mysql, mssql, Linux, Windows server, Active Directory, our proprietary CMS. Must have 2 years professional experience"

Someone coming out of university may have half of those skills, a reasonably skilled one around 4/5th. Annoys the hell out of me.


Don't forget the classic: Must have 5+ years experience with Visual Studio 2012
 
2013-02-19 09:48:24 PM

Max Awesome: Does this skirt make my dick look fat?


You need to dress conservatively for a job interview. Your skirt should not be so short that your dick is visible.
 
2013-02-19 09:55:12 PM

Skarekrough: kg2095: Skarekrough: cfreak: Rickenbacker: Not at all surprised someone asked about having to work every day.  It's amazing the young ones I see who come in and want to dictate what hours they will work during the interview.

As an IT worker it amazes me that there are still businesses who think my job is 9 - 5 and then turns around wanting late meetings, weekend work, etc.

This to the n'th degree.

I work a job now where they will dock pay and bonuses if I'm late or leave early.

They wanted me to come in on Saturday and rebuild someone's email.  I told them they would need to schedule their tragedies during business hours otherwise they would need to review their policy regarding my attendance.

If they fire me then so be it.  It's better to get it over now than dance around it and be stressed about it for years before it happens anyway.

Wouldn't getting fired make it much harder to get another job?

Interviewer: Why did you leave your last job.
Candidate: I was fired.
Interviewer: Buh-bye!

When you have all day to look for a new job and can be available for an interview and have all the extra time to add new skills to your resume.....eh, not nearly the hindrance you might suspect.

And the conversation scenario you set up....it's a nice fantasy.  As a headhunter you are required to come to the table with a certain number of candidates for them to pick from so it behooves you to be nice to potential candidates.  Even if the candidates don't work out you never know if something will come across your desk the next day, next week, or next month or year for which they are a perfect match.  So even if the departure wasn't under the best conditions it is in the best interest to keep you in their good graces.

So, back to the fryolator with you.  There's alot there to digest so try and not to ignore the buzzer and don't forget your hairnet.


Wow. You're tough.
 
2013-02-19 10:21:25 PM

kg2095: Skarekrough: kg2095: Skarekrough: cfreak: Rickenbacker: Not at all surprised someone asked about having to work every day.  It's amazing the young ones I see who come in and want to dictate what hours they will work during the interview.

As an IT worker it amazes me that there are still businesses who think my job is 9 - 5 and then turns around wanting late meetings, weekend work, etc.

This to the n'th degree.

I work a job now where they will dock pay and bonuses if I'm late or leave early.

They wanted me to come in on Saturday and rebuild someone's email.  I told them they would need to schedule their tragedies during business hours otherwise they would need to review their policy regarding my attendance.

If they fire me then so be it.  It's better to get it over now than dance around it and be stressed about it for years before it happens anyway.

Wouldn't getting fired make it much harder to get another job?

Interviewer: Why did you leave your last job.
Candidate: I was fired.
Interviewer: Buh-bye!

When you have all day to look for a new job and can be available for an interview and have all the extra time to add new skills to your resume.....eh, not nearly the hindrance you might suspect.

And the conversation scenario you set up....it's a nice fantasy.  As a headhunter you are required to come to the table with a certain number of candidates for them to pick from so it behooves you to be nice to potential candidates.  Even if the candidates don't work out you never know if something will come across your desk the next day, next week, or next month or year for which they are a perfect match.  So even if the departure wasn't under the best conditions it is in the best interest to keep you in their good graces.

So, back to the fryolator with you.  There's alot there to digest so try and not to ignore the buzzer and don't forget your hairnet.

Wow. You're tough.


*nods*

Internet tough.....
 
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