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(Orlando Sentinel)   Old and busted: designated driver. The new hotness: designated texter   (orlandosentinel.com) divider line 22
    More: Florida, Expressway Authority, Florida Department of Transportation, Oak Ridge High School  
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2739 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Feb 2013 at 3:34 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-18 08:47:10 PM
I wonder how well this will go, when you are driving a drunk home and he does your texting to your wife about where you are and when you'll be home.

Get to the door and the wife is holding the phone with the message "I'll get home once I'm off this hooker.  Now shut up $%#$."
 
2013-02-18 09:18:08 PM

lack of warmth: I wonder how well this will go, when you are driving a drunk home and he does your texting to your wife about where you are and when you'll be home.

Get to the door and the wife is holding the phone with the message "I'll get home once I'm off this hooker.  Now shut up $%#$."


that's a designated dexter.
 
2013-02-18 09:56:51 PM
I let sober people handle all my -exting needs. "I'm too drunk, man, send this girl a picture of your penis."
 
2013-02-18 11:08:12 PM
ONE TIME my friends and I played cellphone roulette.

Someone else dials a number rom your phone book and you get to talk to them.  Assholes called my sister at 2am on a Tuesday.

We then instituted the 'no family rule' for the rest of the round.
 
2013-02-18 11:46:52 PM

Zarquon's Flat Tire: ONE TIME my friends and I played cellphone roulette.

Someone else dials a number rom your phone book and you get to talk to them.  Assholes called my sister at 2am on a Tuesday.

We then instituted the 'no family rule' for the rest of the round.


It could have been worse. What if she was mad you didn't invite her?
 
2013-02-18 11:54:00 PM

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: I let sober people handle all my -exting needs. "I'm too drunk, man, send this girl a picture of your penis."


I've never done that specifically, but yeah who hasn't handed a phone off to a friend because they were too drunk to text?
 
2013-02-19 03:39:30 AM
The worst is when Im drunk texting some chick, and I hand off the phone to my wife...
 
2013-02-19 03:43:31 AM
That kid sounds like Eddie Haskell.
 
2013-02-19 03:45:31 AM
There is no feeling like waking up drunk and looking at a regretful call or text history.

"Oh shiat."
 
2013-02-19 03:46:58 AM
You cannot do that when dating. This is like showing that you are not into her during sex and dating.
 
2013-02-19 03:47:42 AM
Last summer I received a text from a friend at around 2 am telling me that my "gyardog bit him and the leg"

Apparently he had stumbled into the wrong backyard thinking it was mine and their dog was none too pleased.
 
2013-02-19 03:53:26 AM

harrydorcas: You cannot do that when dating. This is like showing that you are not into her during sex and dating.


Reading that article was like reading a Maxim author's book report on a Marie Claire article that was based on absolute shiat.
 
2013-02-19 04:09:03 AM
How does this work if you're the only one in the car?
 
2013-02-19 04:16:58 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: How does this work if you're the only one in the car?


It's a little more complicated. You simply stop texting drivel to dimbulbs.

Can't wait for the promised NFC functionality that will disable certain smartphone services on a location basis. Because apparently we're 'intelligent' enough to figure out how to follow/spout badger sputum on twitter but not enough to put the thing down when we need to...
 
2013-02-19 04:47:20 AM
got a fancy schmancy phone. just talk to it and it texts itself.

/ too bad i got no one to text to
 
2013-02-19 05:33:33 AM
Read that at first as "designated teacher."

Leaving disappointed.
 
2013-02-19 06:25:13 AM

KrispyKritter: got a fancy schmancy phone. just talk to it and it texts itself.

/ too bad i got no one to text to


Them: Hey, uhhh, what was that text you sent last night?
You: ???
Them:  It says, "Huhghagagh aghagh ahgag ass cock"
You: Oooh.  Drunk Speech-to-Text
 
2013-02-19 07:15:50 AM

Zarquon's Flat Tire: ONE TIME my friends and I played cellphone roulette.

Someone else dials a number rom your phone book and you get to talk to them.  Assholes called my sister at 2am on a Tuesday.

We then instituted the 'no family rule' for the rest of the round.


And that's one reason why I keep my phone muted when I sleep.

I'm not important enough to need to answer a phone at night.
 
2013-02-19 07:32:37 AM
Because it's extremely necessary to read and reply to every text you receive when you receive it. Texts, by their nature, are not urgent...if someone needs to talk to me right now, they will call. I hate texting anyway- I'd rather have human contact.
 
2013-02-19 08:14:53 AM
weknowmemes.com
 
2013-02-19 09:01:49 AM
Katie Couric covered this back in '09. Hell it's even in one of schmoyoho's legendary Auto-Tune the News videos.
 
2013-02-19 11:18:01 AM
sure could've used a designated texter a few weeks ago after getting my drunk on

I really liked that girl
 
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