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(The Sun)   Dear Deidre, my boyfriend and I might be cheating on each other with same guy, on top of that my period is late and I don't know who the dad is (Not safe for work pic)   (thesun.co.uk) divider line 153
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39132 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Feb 2013 at 8:31 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-18 06:05:35 PM  
Dear Sandwiched, dear Sandwiched, you have no complaint...
 
2013-02-18 07:34:40 PM  
Good luck sorting that out.
 
2013-02-18 08:17:52 PM  
Jer-ry! Jer-ry! Jer-ry!
 
2013-02-18 08:20:04 PM  
I'll give them credit for a fantastic stock photo.  It could have been way, way worse.
 
2013-02-18 08:34:56 PM  
carbolicsmoke.com
"Meh."
 
2013-02-18 08:35:26 PM  
So wait, if everybody's schtupping everybody else in this little triangle, why the secrecy?
 
2013-02-18 08:35:40 PM  
Why do I keep hearing banjos when I read that article?

/ their getting closer
 
2013-02-18 08:37:10 PM  
If you're going to model lingerie for stock photos shouldn't your boobs be approximately equal in size?  That left one appears to have a bit of catching up to do.
 
2013-02-18 08:39:28 PM  
FTA: I'm talking about masturbation on my Facebook page today.

What a coincidence. So am I!
 
2013-02-18 08:40:07 PM  

Lenny and Carl: If you're going to model lingerie for stock photos shouldn't your boobs be approximately equal in size?  That left one appears to have a bit of catching up to do.


One day you will learn about perspective and angles. You will be amazed.
 
2013-02-18 08:40:57 PM  

iheartscotch: Why do I keep hearing banjos when I read that article?

/ their getting closer


Their getting closer what?
 
2013-02-18 08:41:04 PM  

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: So wait, if everybody's schtupping everybody else in this little triangle, why the secrecy?


Because they're not on vacation in Greece or Acapulco?

/no idea here either.
 
2013-02-18 08:41:12 PM  
abort.
 
2013-02-18 08:41:24 PM  
So the Sun is just putting up pics without an accompanying article?

Huh? There was an article? I'll check again...

Nope, still don't see an article.
 
2013-02-18 08:41:33 PM  
Does anyone really think these "Dear Deidre" letters are real?
 
2013-02-18 08:42:06 PM  

fusillade762: Does anyone really think these "Dear Deidre" letters are real?


No.
 
2013-02-18 08:44:09 PM  
Have you heard about the new Birth Control pill for Men?


It changes your blood type...


// The guys in this story might need one...
 
2013-02-18 08:44:38 PM  

Lenny and Carl: If you're going to model lingerie for stock photos shouldn't your boobs be approximately equal in size?  That left one appears to have a bit of catching up to do.


You also probably think the house at the end of the street is smaller than all the houses that are closer.

/Farking perspective, how does it work?
 
2013-02-18 08:46:01 PM  
(looks at pic.....)

i276.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-18 08:46:48 PM  
I like how she says neither guy is taking their relationship with her seriously, but, apparently the girl is.
 
2013-02-18 08:50:19 PM  
Well, at least two of them enjoy catching.
 
2013-02-18 08:50:24 PM  

iron_city_ap: I like how she says neither guy is taking their relationship with her seriously, but, apparently the girl is.


Excellent point!  The girl is getting with the two guys, but she's A-OK!
 
2013-02-18 08:51:04 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-18 08:52:33 PM  
They're missing a serious Eiffel Tower opportunity here.
 
2013-02-18 08:54:13 PM  
Not one of the people in the story should be left alone with a baby, let alone let raise one.  But at least one of them will, and so we'll get another generation of ignorance and, well, 'Je-ery Je-ery Je-ery'. (thanks, North_Central_Positronics, that little three word phrase says sooooo much.
 
2013-02-18 08:54:41 PM  
I'm standing by, waiting anxiously for Pocket Ninja to add something clever to this thread.

Shouldn't the boys invite the girl for a MMF threesome?
 
2013-02-18 08:55:36 PM  
One day you will learn about perspective and angles. You will be amazed.

Yeah, that must be the more likely answer.  Not that she's one of the roughly 46% of women with asymmetrical breasts.  Must be the angles.

http://www.tulsasurgicalarts.com/blog.php/2011/01/breast-asymmetry-h ow -common-is-it-and-what-can-be-done/

/I do so enjoy knowledgeable snark
 
2013-02-18 08:56:27 PM  
This is the apparent order of importance of issues in the article.
1. My boyfriend may be cheating
2. My boyfriend is gay
3. Pregnant, who's the baby daddy?
Sure, that seems right to me
 
2013-02-18 08:58:24 PM  

iron_city_ap: I like how she says neither guy is taking their relationship with her seriously, but, apparently the girl is.


Yeah, I was going to make the same point.  Woman has sex all over the house after her bf passes out drunk, but that's taking the relationship seriously?  My suspicion is that the letter is fake, but still, that response was all sorts of weak.
 
2013-02-18 08:58:52 PM  
As if this even happened.
 
2013-02-18 08:59:14 PM  

AirForceVet: Pocket Ninja


I thought he died.
 
2013-02-18 09:00:53 PM  

Lenny and Carl: One day you will learn about perspective and angles. You will be amazed.

Yeah, that must be the more likely answer.  Not that she's one of the roughly 46% of women with asymmetrical breasts.  Must be the angles.

http://www.tulsasurgicalarts.com/blog.php/2011/01/breast-asymmetry-h ow -common-is-it-and-what-can-be-done/

/I do so enjoy knowledgeable snark


My penis hangs to the left and one testicle is lower than the other, am I about to have a stroke?
 
2013-02-18 09:02:20 PM  
I always tell my girlfriends that I have no intention of being monogamous with them.

I always tell my boyfriends that I have no intention of being monogamous with them.

Saves time and misunderstandings...
 
2013-02-18 09:04:10 PM  

austin_millbarge: Lenny and Carl: If you're going to model lingerie for stock photos shouldn't your boobs be approximately equal in size?  That left one appears to have a bit of catching up to do.

You also probably think the house at the end of the street is smaller than all the houses that are closer.

/Farking perspective, how does it work?



I don't know...  the boob in the FRONT (her left) is the one that looks smaller.  So if it's a matter of perspective, that means she's even more lopsided than she appears.
 
2013-02-18 09:07:04 PM  

mrswood: This is the apparent order of importance of issues in the article.
1. My boyfriend may be cheating
2. My boyfriend is gay
3. Pregnant, who's the baby daddy?
Sure, that seems right to me


Funny that nowhere does she express concern for her own cheating.
 
2013-02-18 09:08:59 PM  
This was my favorite part <<His friend came on to me and we ended up entwined on the sofa and then we had sex all over the place - the floor, the kitchen... I did feel guilty when we had sex in the bathroom while my boyfriend slept soundly in the next room.>>

The rest of the sex was guilt free I guess, but bathroom sex just makes you feel you are cheating.
 
2013-02-18 09:09:00 PM  

Ellimem: Lenny and Carl: If you're going to model lingerie for stock photos shouldn't your boobs be approximately equal in size?  That left one appears to have a bit of catching up to do.

One day you will learn about perspective and angles. You will be amazed.


He isn't the only one without understanding of perspective and angles.  I have a feeling the woman who wrote the letter has some learning herself to do.  As in what if she was set up to be shared, by two guys working up to a three-way.
 
2013-02-18 09:09:20 PM  
She just wrecked her future hook ups as everyone now knows her fun hole has been hit by dudes who been up each other's fart hole.
 
2013-02-18 09:09:24 PM  

poison_amy: I don't know...  the boob in the FRONT (her left) is the one that looks smaller.  So if it's a matter of perspective, that means she's even more lopsided than she appears.


I think this needs to become a boob thread so we can evaluate the phenomenon of angles and boobie asymmetry.
 
2013-02-18 09:10:21 PM  
More importantly, why doesn't your boyfriend have a smart phone?


img.thesun.co.uk
 
2013-02-18 09:17:36 PM  
I don't know... but I like those boobs. Pretty damn good for british standards. Still waiting for the NSFW picture I was promised though :(
 
2013-02-18 09:18:25 PM  
Sounds like a perfect situation for a poly-relationship, I know a group like this works out well for them they are very happy.
 
2013-02-18 09:18:44 PM  
I have to congratulate Deidre for her professional decorum, in resisting the temptation to answer with: "AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAAA!!!!
 
2013-02-18 09:19:07 PM  
I enjoy how the columnist of this MOST ASSUREDLY NOT MADE UP STORY subtly encouraged the young lady to have her little problem taken care of.

DancingElkCondor: She just wrecked her future hook ups as everyone now knows her fun hole has been hit by dudes who been up each other's fart hole.


Yeah I think she's better off avoiding gents who are so squeamish about her past sexual history and so fundamentally ignorant about basic biology.  Someone who is freaked out because a woman had sex with a man who has had sex with another man is probably going to be awful in bed.
 
2013-02-18 09:19:40 PM  
Wow I'm gonna need more details in video form.

/hopefully they aren't hideous
 
2013-02-18 09:19:51 PM  
Life is a cabaret, old chum...
 
2013-02-18 09:20:55 PM  
Oh FFS just have a threesome and sort it all out!
 
2013-02-18 09:21:12 PM  

Lenny and Carl: If you're going to model lingerie for stock photos shouldn't your boobs be approximately equal in size?  That left one appears to have a bit of catching up to do.


Is this where we are now?  Now that women have appropriately coloured anuses and vaginas and nipples, thighs that don't touch, and no hair below the neck... we're going to start harassing them to have corrective surgery to match their breast sizes?

Is there a single person on the planet you'd actually deign to fark?
 
2013-02-18 09:23:48 PM  
Typical - she's cheating on him, but at the same time jealous that he might be cheating on her.
 
2013-02-18 09:26:26 PM  

Bored Horde: I enjoy how the columnist of this MOST ASSUREDLY NOT MADE UP STORY subtly encouraged the young lady to have her little problem taken care of.

DancingElkCondor: She just wrecked her future hook ups as everyone now knows her fun hole has been hit by dudes who been up each other's fart hole.

Yeah I think she's better off avoiding gents who are so squeamish about her past sexual history and so fundamentally ignorant about basic biology.  Someone who is freaked out because a woman had sex with a man who has had sex with another man is probably going to be awful in bed.


So to be good in bed you must have no moral standards and be willing to screwing someone who has dangerous sexual practices that can lead to life ending std's? Damn. I never knew that. There are a lot of people who died of AIDS who would disagree with you.
 
2013-02-18 09:27:37 PM  
The highlight of TFA for me:
Maria Fowler
 
2013-02-18 09:30:23 PM  
Looks like summer fruit to me.
 
2013-02-18 09:30:25 PM  
Go back to the age of 3. Make all different decisions this time. Everything you have done up until now has been wrong.
 
2013-02-18 09:30:38 PM  

Mija: Bored Horde: I enjoy how the columnist of this MOST ASSUREDLY NOT MADE UP STORY subtly encouraged the young lady to have her little problem taken care of.

DancingElkCondor: She just wrecked her future hook ups as everyone now knows her fun hole has been hit by dudes who been up each other's fart hole.

Yeah I think she's better off avoiding gents who are so squeamish about her past sexual history and so fundamentally ignorant about basic biology.  Someone who is freaked out because a woman had sex with a man who has had sex with another man is probably going to be awful in bed.

So to be good in bed you must have no moral standards and be willing to screwing someone who has dangerous sexual practices that can lead to life ending std's? Damn. I never knew that. There are a lot of people who died of AIDS who would disagree with you.


Bisexuals are disgusting?  Please proceed, Governor.
 
2013-02-18 09:30:44 PM  

remus: Have you heard about the new Birth Control pill for Men?


It changes your blood type...


I'm not sure I get it. Is the joke that someone thinks a paternity test is a test of blood type?
 
2013-02-18 09:30:44 PM  

poison_amy: austin_millbarge: Lenny and Carl: If you're going to model lingerie for stock photos shouldn't your boobs be approximately equal in size?  That left one appears to have a bit of catching up to do.
You also probably think the house at the end of the street is smaller than all the houses that are closer.
/Farking perspective, how does it work?
I don't know...  the boob in the FRONT (her left) is the one that looks smaller.  So if it's a matter of perspective, that means she's even more lopsided than she appears.


It's called foreshortening. It isn't so much that it's in the front, it's that it is pointing towards the camera.
She's also standing at an angle that exaggerates the effect.

Lenny and Carl: she's one of the roughly 46% of women with asymmetrical breasts.


The angles and her position are right to create the illusion that her breasts are different sizes.
They may also actually be different sizes, but usually the difference is so small that it's hard to tell if the woman is wearing a bra.
 
2013-02-18 09:31:45 PM  
Is this where we are now?  Now that women have appropriately coloured anuses and vaginas and nipples, thighs that don't touch, and no hair below the neck... we're going to start harassing them to have corrective surgery to match their breast sizes?
Is there a single person on the planet you'd actually deign to fark?


Easy there, Galahad.  I said it was an undesirable quality in a lingerie model, not a crippling disfigurement.  I'll give you a million dollars if you can find any variation of "unfarkable" in my post.
 
2013-02-18 09:40:58 PM  
No Florida tag?

Oh, must be fake.
 
2013-02-18 09:40:59 PM  

walkerhound: iheartscotch: Why do I keep hearing banjos when I read that article?

/ their getting closer

Their getting closer what?


Whose getting closer.
 
2013-02-18 09:42:12 PM  
Ahhhh, I see the missing piece of the puzzle.  Look closely at the picture.  Look at her shoes!!  That is not the woman who wrote the letter, it is the "man" she was shagging!!  After 2 bottles of wine, she wouldn't have been able to tell another woman from Abe Vigoda.  The whole thing is a setup on the part of her clever boyfriend, who knows she is knocked up but wants to get rid of her and make her think it is her idea.

Well, which is more plausible, my idea or the idea that this actually happened as written?
 
2013-02-18 09:47:47 PM  
Love between two people can be a beautiful thing.
You just have to be between those two hot, ripe, horny people.
 
2013-02-18 09:47:49 PM  
Of all the agony aunts, Deirdre has the best imagination.
 
2013-02-18 09:52:28 PM  

Lenny and Carl: Is this where we are now?  Now that women have appropriately coloured anuses and vaginas and nipples, thighs that don't touch, and no hair below the neck... we're going to start harassing them to have corrective surgery to match their breast sizes?
Is there a single person on the planet you'd actually deign to fark?

Easy there, Galahad.  I said it was an undesirable quality in a lingerie model, not a crippling disfigurement.  I'll give you a million dollars if you can find any variation of "unfarkable" in my post.


Yeah, but I doubt they are as lopsided as you suggest.  One is full-on, the other is profiled.  Because of her posture, her left shoulder is up high, which will pull that breast up, while her right shoulder is down, which will let that breast fall more.  And since she is wearing a bra, the right breast can't just hang, so all the "droop" is going to fill the cup; for the right all the slack is going toward the shoulder, and not in the cup.  But her hips are canted the other way, so the breasts are still being pulled in opposite directions, but the hips bring them back down in line.  If she kept her shoulders in the same position  but stood wither her hips level, you would swear she has a very bad case of scoliosis.  Make her stand normal, full on to the camera, and I doubt you could tell any real difference
 
2013-02-18 09:53:13 PM  
the

it fits.
 
2013-02-18 09:55:04 PM  
I would plow the model in that picture like paul bunyan's ox.

/ Lopsided tits and all
 
2013-02-18 09:56:33 PM  
So there are two two-timers and one double two-timer?
 
2013-02-18 09:56:55 PM  

Bored Horde: Bisexuals are disgusting? Please proceed, Governor.


Just the dudes.
 
2013-02-18 09:58:13 PM  
... fap?
 
2013-02-18 10:00:47 PM  

mcmnky: The highlight of TFA for me:
Maria Fowler


I agree. I clicked, then I right clicked.
 
2013-02-18 10:03:45 PM  

SmithHiller: So there are two two-timers and one double two-timer?


Dude?  You'd plow his ox?
 
2013-02-18 10:04:13 PM  
...and on to more advanced anatomy critique:

Her Legs !!!
One is definitely longer than the other!!!

/why no fall down go boom?
//Boom!
 
2013-02-18 10:06:30 PM  
I often wonder why her advice isn't more like, "Is there a loaded handgun nearby that you could put in your mouth, or perhaps a length of rope or some cyanide?"
 
2013-02-18 10:06:52 PM  

finnished: Typical - she's cheating on him, but at the same time jealous that he might be cheating on her.


She didn't mention jealousy; she's just confused.
 
2013-02-18 10:09:20 PM  
If these two guys have been exchanging naked pictures, gay or straight, neither of them is treating your relationship seriously nor likely to prove an involved and caring dad. Being a single mum in such circumstances is tough.

As opposed to being a single mom who  farking cheated. Yeah. She's serious and likely to prove an involved and caring mom! Go, Diedre!

/The fark is this shiat?
 
2013-02-18 10:09:55 PM  

antidisestablishmentarianism: poison_amy: I don't know...  the boob in the FRONT (her left) is the one that looks smaller.  So if it's a matter of perspective, that means she's even more lopsided than she appears.

I think this needs to become a boob thread so we can evaluate the phenomenon of angles and boobie asymmetry.


I just checked in the mirror... I think mine are pretty much the same size... but oddly enough, one is about a quarter of an inch HIGHER than the other.  I never noticed before.
 
2013-02-18 10:13:00 PM  

vudukungfu: Love between two people can be a beautiful thing.
You just have to be between those two hot, ripe, horny people.


LOL : )
 
2013-02-18 10:13:50 PM  
I'm talking about masturbation on my Facebook page today.
 
2013-02-18 10:18:36 PM  
They work in a call center. This kind of behavior shouldn't be all that surprising.
 
2013-02-18 10:19:26 PM  
You got what you deserved, whore.
 
2013-02-18 10:20:26 PM  

MBooda: Dear Sandwiched, dear Sandwiched, you have no complaint...


I think that's the first Prine reference I've seen on Fark. And now that song will be stuck in my head for the rest of the evening.
 
2013-02-18 10:21:11 PM  
Love the nitwits answer that the b/f wasn't taking the relationship serious......but the slut got nailed on the couch and totally isn't to blame, and if she's not pregnant she's lucky and in the clear.

Just when you think idiotic women cannot get more idiotic.
 
2013-02-18 10:23:21 PM  
If you really get advice from a newspaper that reserves page 3 for pictures of women who are naked and big breasted, then you're more farked than you realize.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-02-18 10:25:16 PM  

stuhayes2010: More importantly, why doesn't your boyfriend have a smart phone?


[img.thesun.co.uk image 620x930]


Why should he have a smart phone? There isn't one smart gene in their entire pool. What possible use could they have for it?
 
2013-02-18 10:25:22 PM  
1) I find it odd that any man would look at that picture and think about lopsided breasts.
2) The advice makes no mention of the extreme wrongness of the cheating girl (I realize it's self-evident but I'm used to the Dear Abby moral compass type advice).
 
2013-02-18 10:25:57 PM  
if she chose high heels over wingtips this never would have happened.
 
2013-02-18 10:27:16 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: finnished: Typical - she's cheating on him, but at the same time jealous that he might be cheating on her.

She didn't mention jealousy; she's just confused.


Yeah, sure. The cell phone just fell into her hands and opened up in the right menu option. I've heard that before.
 
2013-02-18 10:28:26 PM  

PsiChick: If these two guys have been exchanging naked pictures, gay or straight, neither of them is treating your relationship seriously nor likely to prove an involved and caring dad. Being a single mum in such circumstances is tough.

As opposed to being a single mom who  farking cheated. Yeah. She's serious and likely to prove an involved and caring mom! Go, Diedre!

/The fark is this shiat?


I've 100% had it with the single mom worship, dad hatred... makes my head hurt
 
2013-02-18 10:29:15 PM  
Really the only problem I see is the dishonesty. I'm mean really. Although there was a movie sorta like this.
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-18 10:31:49 PM  
*looks at picture on article*

notbad.jpg

Sounds like these three are missing an opportunity for a threesome. The guys won't even have to worry about the balls touching.
 
2013-02-18 10:33:06 PM  

mrswood: This is the apparent order of importance of issues in the article.
1. My boyfriend may be cheating
2. My boyfriend is gay
3. Pregnant, who's the baby daddy?
Sure, that seems right to me



Approves
ecx.images-amazon.com
/hot like Sally Bowles
 
2013-02-18 10:36:30 PM  

Alexei Novikov: *looks at picture on article*

notbad.jpg

Sounds like these three are missing an opportunity for a threesome. The guys won't even have to worry about the balls touching.


That's the only fun kind, wut?
 
2013-02-18 10:39:11 PM  

NameDot: PsiChick: If these two guys have been exchanging naked pictures, gay or straight, neither of them is treating your relationship seriously nor likely to prove an involved and caring dad. Being a single mum in such circumstances is tough.

As opposed to being a single mom who  farking cheated. Yeah. She's serious and likely to prove an involved and caring mom! Go, Diedre!

/The fark is this shiat?

I've 100% had it with the single mom worship, dad hatred... makes my head hurt


...You do know this is fake, and most single moms\absent dads are nothing like this, right?
 
2013-02-18 10:39:53 PM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Really the only problem I see is the dishonesty. I'm mean really. Although there was a movie sorta like this.
[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 189x267]


Really? I was thinking of something else:

i2.listal.com
 
2013-02-18 10:41:06 PM  
Menages a trois DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!
 
2013-02-18 10:41:43 PM  

FARTNOISE FARTNOISE JUNIOR: MBooda: Dear Sandwiched, dear Sandwiched, you have no complaint...

I think that's the first Prine reference I've seen on Fark. And now that song will be stuck in my head for the rest of the evening.



Also, this.
 
2013-02-18 10:44:40 PM  

belhade: tinfoil-hat maggie: Really the only problem I see is the dishonesty. I'm mean really. Although there was a movie sorta like this.
[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 189x267]

Really? I was thinking of something else:

[i2.listal.com image 720x574]


Well your example was consensual everyone knowing what's going on and well in Plan B that's not the case.
 
2013-02-18 10:46:55 PM  

DancingElkCondor: She just wrecked her future hook ups as everyone now knows her fun hole has been hit by dudes who been up each other's fart hole.


The story is obviously fake in the genre of Dear Penthouse Forum, I never thought this would happen to me...... That being said, DancingElkCondor, that is one of the funniest things I have read all year. Thank you sincerely for the lulz.
 
2013-02-18 10:49:00 PM  
I feel stuck in some warped love triangle.
I feel
stuck in some warped love triangle.
I feel stuck in
some warped love triangle.
That's because you are.
That's
because you are.
That's
because you are.

Quit calling me I'm not the one.
 
2013-02-18 10:52:41 PM  

thorthor: DancingElkCondor: She just wrecked her future hook ups as everyone now knows her fun hole has been hit by dudes who been up each other's fart hole.

The story is obviously fake in the genre of Dear Penthouse Forum, I never thought this would happen to me...... That being said, DancingElkCondor, that is one of the funniest things I have read all year. Thank you sincerely for the lulz.


Yeah the story is probably fake, but these type of things do happen in real life, and more than you would think. I have known a couple of women who had done this with a man and a woman that were in a relationship, and were hetting money and gifts from both of them.
 
2013-02-18 10:53:35 PM  

belhade: tinfoil-hat maggie: Really the only problem I see is the dishonesty. I'm mean really. Although there was a movie sorta like this.
[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 189x267]

Really? I was thinking of something else:

[i2.listal.com image 720x574]


Ahh, before Lara Flyyn Boyle turned into a plastic surgery nightmare...
 
2013-02-18 10:54:15 PM  
What I thought of:

lh5.googleusercontent.com
 
2013-02-18 10:57:51 PM  

Lenny and Carl: If you're going to model lingerie for stock photos shouldn't your boobs be approximately equal in size?  That left one appears to have a bit of catching up to do.


Posture: How does it work?
 
2013-02-18 10:58:08 PM  

stuhayes2010: More importantly, why doesn't your boyfriend have a smart phone?


[img.thesun.co.uk image 620x930]


My first impression upon opening TFA was "No wonder Deidre is a make-believe porn advice columnist, she's a farking butterface."

/I know, studman69 here.
 
2013-02-18 10:59:23 PM  

Lsherm: belhade: tinfoil-hat maggie: Really the only problem I see is the dishonesty. I'm mean really. Although there was a movie sorta like this.
[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 189x267]

Really? I was thinking of something else:

[i2.listal.com image 720x574]

Ahh, before Lara Flyyn Boyle turned into a plastic surgery nightmare...


Damn, she did mess herself up. I hadn't seen or heard anything about her for years, then I saw her in that movie "Life is hot in cracktown" and was thinking that whoever did her makeup for the movie did a very good job.  Then a few weeks later I saw a paparazzi picture of her out on the town a few weeks later and realized that the makeup people for that movie didn't have to do very much.
 
2013-02-18 10:59:39 PM  

MBooda: Dear Sandwiched, dear Sandwiched, you have no complaint...


I get this reference.
 
2013-02-18 11:00:19 PM  
Dump the biatch and make the switch.
 
2013-02-18 11:01:52 PM  
People having problems because they cheated?  Here's me trying to care.

i284.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-18 11:05:27 PM  
Young lady, you get to live every slashfic writers dream:  watching two hot dudes have sex.  Shut up and enjoy it.
 
2013-02-18 11:10:36 PM  

Lsherm: I'll give them credit for a fantastic stock photo.  It could have been way, way worse.


not sure that's really "stock" photography. a search on istockphoto for "checking boyfriend's cell phone for gay porn while dressed in full lingerie" doesn't yield any results. this is more like carefully staged photography.
 
2013-02-18 11:13:12 PM  

Lsherm: I'll give them credit for a fantastic stock photo.  It could have been way, way worse.


Why does it look like she's got a maxipad glued in there?
 
2013-02-18 11:17:57 PM  

JerkStore: I'm talking about masturbation on my Facebook page today.


yeah, that's what i always wanna talk about....
 
2013-02-18 11:18:44 PM  

poison_amy: austin_millbarge: Lenny and Carl: If you're going to model lingerie for stock photos shouldn't your boobs be approximately equal in size?  That left one appears to have a bit of catching up to do.

You also probably think the house at the end of the street is smaller than all the houses that are closer.

/Farking perspective, how does it work?


I don't know...  the boob in the FRONT (her left) is the one that looks smaller.  So if it's a matter of perspective, that means she's even more lopsided than she appears.


Single people problems.

/married
 
2013-02-18 11:20:06 PM  
Throuple!
 
2013-02-18 11:22:32 PM  

MemeSlave: Lsherm: I'll give them credit for a fantastic stock photo.  It could have been way, way worse.

Why does it look like she's got a maxipad glued in there?


cameltoe protection.
 
2013-02-18 11:24:17 PM  
The couple in question.

www.tobiasfunke.com
 
2013-02-18 11:33:52 PM  
Invest in a strap-on and invite them both over, each should have the opportunity to be spit roasted.
 
2013-02-18 11:34:41 PM  

Lsherm: I'll give them credit for a fantastic stock photo.  It could have been way, way worse.


(c) lh3.ggpht.com
/now with less NSFW aftertaste
//now with more SFW flavor
 
2013-02-18 11:36:22 PM  

hechz: Throuple!


I just throuple little in my mouth.
 
2013-02-18 11:39:08 PM  

Deacon Blue: AirForceVet: Pocket Ninja

I thought he died.


So sad.  :(

You jerk!  I can't believe you brought that up!   Too soon.
 
2013-02-18 11:47:16 PM  

DreamyAltarBoy: Invest in a strap-on and invite them both over, each should have the opportunity to be spit roasted.


You sir are a genius and a gentleman ; )
 
2013-02-18 11:50:02 PM  
Dear Easy Jane.  Eat what you cooked, sugar.
 
2013-02-18 11:53:09 PM  
Dear Easy Jane.  Eat what you cooked, sugar.
Careful.  To a woman that stupid this might be construed as advice to eat her young.
 
2013-02-19 12:01:12 AM  
I have this on my iTunes, and am almost sure I've made a John Prine reference on fark before. I'm not sure if I'm proud or ashamed of this fact...
 
2013-02-19 12:04:10 AM  
Sounds uber fake.
 
2013-02-19 12:04:57 AM  
i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-02-19 12:06:39 AM  

Lenny and Carl: If you're going to model lingerie for stock photos shouldn't your boobs be approximately equal in size?  That left one appears to have a bit of catching up to do.


studman69.png

//or trollface.rgx?
 
2013-02-19 12:06:44 AM  

boozehat: Deacon Blue: AirForceVet: Pocket Ninja

I thought he died.

So sad.  :(

You jerk!  I can't believe you brought that up!   Too soon.


I understand that you're kidding, but I gotta say that even the thought of pocketninja dying threw me for a loop.  I'm pretty sure he's either a writer or a professor (English, literature, something like that), but that's just me pulling things out of my ass.  For all I know he's an inmate at a hospital for the criminally insane.  Come to think of it, my second guess is the more likely scenario.

Since we're talking about too-smart, too-funny people, here's a shout-out for my old buddy doglover.  His posts alone are worth the $5 a month.
 
2013-02-19 12:07:03 AM  

Acharne: Lenny and Carl: One day you will learn about perspective and angles. You will be amazed.

Yeah, that must be the more likely answer.  Not that she's one of the roughly 46% of women with asymmetrical breasts.  Must be the angles.

http://www.tulsasurgicalarts.com/blog.php/2011/01/breast-asymmetry-h ow -common-is-it-and-what-can-be-done/

/I do so enjoy knowledgeable snark

My penis hangs to the left and one testicle is lower than the other, am I about to have a stroke?


Up to you; there are tissues in the bathroom for when you're done.
 
2013-02-19 12:07:31 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: DreamyAltarBoy: Invest in a strap-on and invite them both over, each should have the opportunity to be spit roasted.

You sir are a genius and a gentleman ; )


And you are a lady after my own heart.

It just seemed the best way to play.
It's always better when everyone swings both ways.
 
2013-02-19 12:16:33 AM  

siyuntz: I have this on my iTunes, and am almost sure I've made a John Prine reference on fark before. I'm not sure if I'm proud or ashamed of this fact...


You are what you are
and you ain't what you ain't.
 
2013-02-19 12:19:45 AM  
24.media.tumblr.com

/just watch out for hedge clippers
 
2013-02-19 12:58:43 AM  

ramblinwreck: mrswood: This is the apparent order of importance of issues in the article.
1. My boyfriend may be cheating
2. My boyfriend is gay
3. Pregnant, who's the baby daddy?
Sure, that seems right to me

Funny that nowhere does she express concern for her own cheating.


The boyfriend wasn't meeting her emotional needs so that makes it okay.
 
2013-02-19 01:05:48 AM  

poison_amy: antidisestablishmentarianism: poison_amy: I don't know...  the boob in the FRONT (her left) is the one that looks smaller.  So if it's a matter of perspective, that means she's even more lopsided than she appears.

I think this needs to become a boob thread so we can evaluate the phenomenon of angles and boobie asymmetry.

I just checked in the mirror... I think mine are pretty much the same size... but oddly enough, one is about a quarter of an inch HIGHER than the other.  I never noticed before.


If you need verification...
 
2013-02-19 01:09:15 AM  

DreamyAltarBoy: tinfoil-hat maggie: DreamyAltarBoy: Invest in a strap-on and invite them both over, each should have the opportunity to be spit roasted.

You sir are a genius and a gentleman ; )

And you are a lady after my own heart.

It just seemed the best way to play.
It's always better when everyone swings both ways.


I wouldn't be in a threesome if everyone didn't play that way and I've been in quit a few threesomes in my day : )
 
Ehh
2013-02-19 01:14:15 AM  

weemonkey: mrswood: This is the apparent order of importance of issues in the article.
1. My boyfriend may be cheating
2. My boyfriend is gay
3. Pregnant, who's the baby daddy?
Sure, that seems right to me


Approves
[ecx.images-amazon.com image 500x500]
/hot like Sally Bowles


Just what I was thinking.
 
2013-02-19 01:19:55 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: DreamyAltarBoy: tinfoil-hat maggie: DreamyAltarBoy: Invest in a strap-on and invite them both over, each should have the opportunity to be spit roasted.

You sir are a genius and a gentleman ; )

And you are a lady after my own heart.

It just seemed the best way to play.
It's always better when everyone swings both ways.

I wouldn't be in a threesome if everyone didn't play that way and I've been in quit a few threesomes in my day : )


Hi Ms Maggie :)
 
2013-02-19 01:24:11 AM  

JulietRomeo: tinfoil-hat maggie: DreamyAltarBoy: tinfoil-hat maggie: DreamyAltarBoy: Invest in a strap-on and invite them both over, each should have the opportunity to be spit roasted.

You sir are a genius and a gentleman ; )

And you are a lady after my own heart.

It just seemed the best way to play.
It's always better when everyone swings both ways.

I wouldn't be in a threesome if everyone didn't play that way and I've been in quit a few threesomes in my day : )

Hi Ms Maggie :)


Well I thought you disappeared. How ya been?
 
2013-02-19 01:31:27 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: JulietRomeo: tinfoil-hat maggie: DreamyAltarBoy: tinfoil-hat maggie: DreamyAltarBoy: Invest in a strap-on and invite them both over, each should have the opportunity to be spit roasted.

You sir are a genius and a gentleman ; )

And you are a lady after my own heart.

It just seemed the best way to play.
It's always better when everyone swings both ways.

I wouldn't be in a threesome if everyone didn't play that way and I've been in quit a few threesomes in my day : )

Hi Ms Maggie :)

Well I thought you disappeared. How ya been?


Busy like nobody's business! I'll catch ya on the emails in a sec :)
 
2013-02-19 03:28:34 AM  
f these two guys have been exchanging naked pictures, gay or straight, neither of them is treating your relationship seriously nor likely to prove an involved and caring dad.

In all fairness, literally the same thing can be said of the woman writing in.  If she's incapable of the basic level of simple farking honesty and maturity to commit to one mate and tell the other she's leaving (or tell 'em both and start an open/poly relationship, the operating factor here is the honesty and the attempt to get her shiat straight, not monogamy) then she's not treating  either  relationship with the seriousness it's due and will in all probability make a godawful farking mother.

The "get a pregnancy test, then an abortion" advice is still valid either way, though, I guess.
 
2013-02-19 04:21:41 AM  

joshik72: Life is a cabaret, old chum...


I was surprised a Cabaret reference took so many posts to appear. It was the first thing I thought of.

Wasn't that movie supposed to be so shocking a decadent when it came out? I thought it was a great musical, but I didn't find any of it shocking when I finally got to see it a few years ago.

/Michael York is YUMMY in it
 
2013-02-19 04:31:34 AM  

geekbikerskum: Young lady, you get to live every slashfic writers dream:  watching two hot dudes have sex.  Shut up and enjoy it.


This!!!
 
2013-02-19 04:35:50 AM  
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OneTrueThreesome
 
2013-02-19 05:05:14 AM  
poison_amy:
I just checked in the mirror... I think mine are pretty much the same size... but oddly enough, one is about a quarter of an inch HIGHER than the other.  I never noticed before.

Do you want a second opinion on that?

/EIP
 
2013-02-19 05:33:46 AM  
NSFW? Where do you work, a Mormon temple?
 
2013-02-19 06:08:50 AM  

Skyrmion: I'm not sure I get it. Is the joke that someone thinks a paternity test is a test of blood type?


Before DNA tests, decades ago, blood-type tests were used as crude paternity tests.

They couldn't confirm paternity, but they could rule it out in some cases.

For example, if the mom is Blood Type O, the child is Blood Type A, the father MUST be blood type A or AB.  If he's O or B, he's not the father.

It's crude, but before the rise of DNA paternity testing in the late 1980's, it was what was available.
 
2013-02-19 07:11:42 AM  
Im totally thinking
'i260.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-19 07:52:07 AM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
"Brad!"
"Janet!"
"Rocky!"
"... "
 
2013-02-19 09:39:55 AM  
Well I find this a very typical little Island problem.....those limeys, always calling each other their "mates."  Well what do you expect, luv, he's my mate you know?
 
2013-02-19 12:15:36 PM  

finnished: Typical - she's cheating on him, but at the same time jealous that he might be cheating on her.


So farking this! And they complain about double-standards.

Had a whore of a gf who had been lying and cheating on me for years. I always wondered why she was nervous whenever I talked to another girl, and was downright biatchy whenever I mentioned one of them in conversation.

/yeah, glad she's gone
//I've since hooked up with most of the girls she tried to fark while we were together
//they liked me better, and they are much hotter than she was
 
2013-02-19 12:23:06 PM  

turboke: poison_amy:
I just checked in the mirror... I think mine are pretty much the same size... but oddly enough, one is about a quarter of an inch HIGHER than the other.  I never noticed before.

Do you want a second opinion on that?

/EIP


you may or may not have email...
 
2013-02-19 01:00:33 PM  

Silverstaff: Before DNA tests, decades ago, blood-type tests were used as crude paternity tests.


"What's your blood type?" used to be a common experiment in high school biology.  One reason that went away in the 1980s was the number of kids who discovered that one or both of biological parents was not their biological parent.  Either they were adopted and their parents had never told them, or they were a "milkman baby".

The biggest reason, of course, was fear of blood-borne illness and having a bunch of untrained high school kids sticking their fingers to obtain blood samples.
 
2013-02-19 05:16:57 PM  

poison_amy: turboke: poison_amy:
I just checked in the mirror... I think mine are pretty much the same size... but oddly enough, one is about a quarter of an inch HIGHER than the other.  I never noticed before.

Do you want a second opinion on that?

/EIP

you may or may not have email...


Hmmm, uh, I do, and I would be more than happy to admire them...
 
2013-02-19 11:41:32 PM  

stuhayes2010: More importantly, why doesn't your boyfriend have a smart phone?


[img.thesun.co.uk image 620x930]


Count me in. I'll shag that broad.
 
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