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(NJ.com)   Not sure how someone winds up with the name "Jetta Disco," but she's made the best of it by winding up as a spokeswoman for the Coast Guard, resulting in "wait, what did I just read?" moments in articles   (nj.com) divider line 112
    More: Strange, New Jersey State Police, Sayreville, marinas, Jetta Disco, barges  
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8597 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Feb 2013 at 10:35 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



112 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-02-17 10:05:13 PM  
"CPR was unsuccessul".

I would think compression would be the last thing he would need.  Just reinflate and fluff.
 
2013-02-17 10:13:40 PM  
I remember the old "porn star name" game, where the first name was the name of your first pet, and the last name was the name of the street you lived on as a kid.  Clearly, this is something similar.

To determine your Coast Guard Spokesperson Name, use the model of the first car you owned, and the place you met your significant other.

/Spokesman Valiant Chatroom reporting for duty!
 
2013-02-17 10:31:58 PM  
Spokeswoman with stupid name speaks, but has no information on subject she is speaking about.
I can see one obvious spending cut that wouldn't leave people without necessary services.
 
2013-02-17 10:43:55 PM  

dbirchall: I remember the old "porn star name" game, where the first name was the name of your first pet, and the last name was the name of the street you lived on as a kid.  Clearly, this is something similar.

To determine your Coast Guard Spokesperson Name, use the model of the first car you owned, and the place you met your significant other.

/Spokesman Valiant Chatroom reporting for duty!


Spokesman Escort Church here.

/that is way better than I ever got on the old porn name game
 
2013-02-17 10:45:24 PM  
Colt Stairwell reporting for duty.
 
2013-02-17 10:45:46 PM  
Hmm so my porn name would of been Samantha Queensland - not bad for being a guy! Err wait..
 
2013-02-17 10:45:51 PM  

"Coast Guard spokeswoman Jetta Disco said the man was a contractor for Hydro-Marine Construction. She said the Coast Guard is investigating the exact cause of the incident, which is still unclear."


Maybe he should have been warned not to rock the boat, baby, or not to tip the boat over.


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-17 10:46:20 PM  
lh3.googleusercontent.com

Not what you were expecting.
 
2013-02-17 10:47:24 PM  
Chief Petty Officer Cutlass Villa reporting for duty.
 
2013-02-17 10:48:45 PM  
Well, I guess that's the last time I post a naked college girl with a cat's head in a scissor grip in a panty thread.
 
2013-02-17 10:48:59 PM  
My Coast Guard Spokesperson Name (TM) is Grand Am Rehearsal. But you can call me Pontiac. I am, after all, 1/32 Native American.

/ Yay Diversity!
 
2013-02-17 10:50:12 PM  

dbirchall: I remember the old "porn star name" game, where the first name was the name of your first pet, and the last name was the name of the street you lived on as a kid.  Clearly, this is something similar.

To determine your Coast Guard Spokesperson Name, use the model of the first car you owned, and the place you met your significant other.

/Spokesman Valiant Chatroom reporting for duty!


Luv Cart Return

/my name sucks
 
2013-02-17 10:51:37 PM  

themasterdebater: Hmm so my porn name would of been Samantha Queensland - not bad for being a guy! Err wait..


What auto company manufactures a car called the Samantha?
 
2013-02-17 10:52:30 PM  
I guess that would make me spokesperson Hummer Stripbar.
 
2013-02-17 10:52:30 PM  
Mazda La Suiza...
 
2013-02-17 10:53:22 PM  
Monza Debate Tournament
 
2013-02-17 10:53:46 PM  
Grand Am Nowhere ready and waiting!
 
2013-02-17 10:54:12 PM  

HotWingAgenda: themasterdebater: Hmm so my porn name would of been Samantha Queensland - not bad for being a guy! Err wait..

What auto company manufactures a car called the Samantha?


Forgot to answer my roll call:  Protege Crewteam
 
2013-02-17 10:54:38 PM  
My Coast Guard spokesman name is Escort Neighborhood.

That's... unfortunate.
 
2013-02-17 10:54:45 PM  
Hrm.  Mustang N/A doesn't have much of a ring to it.  Because I don't currently have a significant other, you insensitive jerks!
 
2013-02-17 10:55:15 PM  

themasterdebater: Hmm so my porn name would of been Samantha Queensland - not bad for being a guy! Err wait..


My porn star name is Dixie Columbus, sounds sort of womanly as well.

No SO at the moment so not sure if I can play this one, but if I went with my last ex...

Wrangler Airport
 
2013-02-17 10:55:27 PM  

lifeboat: My Coast Guard spokesman name is Escort Neighborhood.

That's... unfortunate.


Teeeeehehehehe
 
2013-02-17 10:55:45 PM  

lifeboat: My Coast Guard spokesman name is Escort Neighborhood.

That's... unfortunate.


Better than the other way around.
 
2013-02-17 10:56:52 PM  
My porn name would be perfect for a certain niche market:

Mini Club

Anyway, great idea, dbirchall!

/actually, it wasn't really a club so much as a boozer
 
2013-02-17 10:58:20 PM  
Oops, that would be Coastguard Spokesman name.
 
2013-02-17 10:59:06 PM  
The VW Jetta was named after the jet stream and the Golf was named after the golf stream.
 
2013-02-17 10:59:07 PM  
Fury EHarmony reporting for duty.
 
2013-02-17 11:02:01 PM  
Grossman, wasn't that one of the guys on Chips?
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-02-17 11:03:18 PM  
There's a Navy spokesman named Lt. Commander Kafka. He used to give briefings about Guantanamo trials.
 
2013-02-17 11:05:33 PM  
Anglia Office, going for my commission......
 
2013-02-17 11:06:40 PM  
Horizon Nudie Bar ... uh I mean Horizon Gentleman's Club on deck.
 
2013-02-17 11:09:06 PM  
Never owned a car and have no SO.  Oh well.

I did know a Commander in the Navy whose name was Lex Luther... though Google says he's a Captain now, and I learn that his given name wasn't really 'Lex'.  Too bad.  But that's what he has put on his nametags, anyway.  I guess he still goes by Lex.  Ha.
 
2013-02-17 11:10:40 PM  
perezsolomon.com
 
2013-02-17 11:11:35 PM  
Caprice Gasbar reporting for duty!
 
2013-02-17 11:12:22 PM  

nymersic: Never owned a car and have no SO.  Oh well.

I did know a Commander in the Navy whose name was Lex Luther... though Google says he's a Captain now, and I learn that his given name wasn't really 'Lex'.  Too bad.  But that's what he has put on his nametags, anyway.  I guess he still goes by Lex.  Ha.


A co-worker of mine was in the air force with a Captain Kirk
 
2013-02-17 11:12:34 PM  
Mustang Beach reporting for duty!
 
2013-02-17 11:13:27 PM  

dbirchall: I remember the old "porn star name" game, where the first name was the name of your first pet, and the last name was the name of the street you lived on as a kid.  Clearly, this is something similar.

To determine your Coast Guard Spokesperson Name, use the model of the first car you owned, and the place you met your significant other.

/Spokesman Valiant Chatroom reporting for duty!


Another Valiant owner!  Mine was a '66
 
2013-02-17 11:17:09 PM  
Charger Arsaga, present and accounted for!
 
2013-02-17 11:23:31 PM  
Chief Malibu Kodiak
 
2013-02-17 11:24:40 PM  
  .....  I just want to say that my wife's name would be Probe Busch (Gardens) with this naming scenario.. PERFECT! =D
 
2013-02-17 11:25:22 PM  

Donkey Hodie: dbirchall: I remember the old "porn star name" game, where the first name was the name of your first pet, and the last name was the name of the street you lived on as a kid.  Clearly, this is something similar.

To determine your Coast Guard Spokesperson Name, use the model of the first car you owned, and the place you met your significant other.

/Spokesman Valiant Chatroom reporting for duty!

Another Valiant owner!  Mine was a '66


'65.  My folks bought it new and gave it to me when I was old enough to drive.

Donkey Hodie: [perezsolomon.com image 591x580]


But she got hitched and is now Marijuana Pepsi Sawyer-Clardy, or just "MP Sawyer-Clardy" for short.
 
2013-02-17 11:25:58 PM  
Chevy lake PRESENT!
btw, my porn name is Stacy southview. And I'm a guy. Embarrassing.
 
2013-02-17 11:33:34 PM  
Tempo Bookstore checking in!
 
2013-02-17 11:35:07 PM  
Petty Officer Rampage Shanghai Tunnels!
 
2013-02-17 11:35:57 PM  
Impala Nightclub.
 
2013-02-17 11:39:30 PM  
Escort PT Field reporting for doody!

Actually... my second car (a slightly newer Escort) was at the PT field that day too. Hrm...
 
2013-02-17 11:40:20 PM  

robxiii:   .....  I just want to say that my wife's name would be Probe Busch (Gardens) with this naming scenario.. PERFECT! =D


awesome.
 
2013-02-17 11:41:45 PM  

dbirchall: Donkey Hodie:
Another Valiant owner!  Mine was a '66

'65.  My folks bought it new and gave it to me when I was old enough to drive.


I bought mine in '86 from a little old lady in my neighborhood who only drove it to church and the grocery store.  It had 19k miles on it.  She sold it to me because I mowed her lawn, and because she hadn't driven it in six months and didn't want to keep paying insurance for it.
 
2013-02-17 11:41:47 PM  
What a disco in a stretch Jetta might look like
www.avolarlimo.com
 
2013-02-17 11:42:23 PM  
Jetta Disco is pretty good as maritime spokespeople names go, but it's not nearly as manly as DoD spokesman, Lieutenant Commander Flex Plexico
 
2013-02-17 11:43:36 PM  
Shame there's no voting...
 
2013-02-17 11:47:18 PM  

jtown: [lh3.googleusercontent.com image 250x250]

Not what you were expecting.


www.imgderp.com
 
2013-02-17 11:47:32 PM  
Escort Dogpark!!
 
2013-02-17 11:50:53 PM  
Topaz Rave present and accounted for.
 
2013-02-17 11:56:49 PM  
Horizon Pride (or Horizon Chatroom if that counts as meeting). Horizon Pride is OK? Not as cool as Jetta Disco, however. My wife is Rambler Pride. How convenient we share the same last name.
 
2013-02-17 11:58:26 PM  

fusillade762: Impala Nightclub.


Works as a stripper name, too.
 
2013-02-17 11:58:44 PM  

TuteTibiImperes: themasterdebater: Hmm so my porn name would of been Samantha Queensland - not bad for being a guy! Err wait..

My porn star name is Dixie Columbus, sounds sort of womanly as well.

No SO at the moment so not sure if I can play this one, but if I went with my last ex...

Wrangler Airport


So you've got a male porn name as well!
 
2013-02-18 12:00:42 AM  
Elantra Beanfield

REPORTING FOR DUTY SIR!
 
2013-02-18 12:01:09 AM  
Cutlass Sex Dungeon
 
2013-02-18 12:02:29 AM  

Nunpoo: Cutlass Sex Dungeon


That sounds about right. Sex Dungeons should have a cutlass on hand.
 
2013-02-18 12:16:07 AM  
 Rear Admiral Boomer Stufflebeem.
 
2013-02-18 12:17:37 AM  
Sunbird School.

I guess it doesn't work for everyone.
 
2013-02-18 12:24:51 AM  
Shadow Lavalife here.

Sounds like a dating site for the Illuminati.
 
2013-02-18 12:44:27 AM  
Beetle Frontdesk
 
2013-02-18 12:45:58 AM  
Sundance Lawrence St House

I'm okay with this, and this is totally gonna get broken out at work tomorrow.  So thanks in advance,dbirchall!
 
2013-02-18 12:48:20 AM  

casual disregard: Sunbird School.

I guess it doesn't work for everyone.


Sunbird Linux Users Group agrees with you.
 
2013-02-18 12:49:11 AM  

Jabberwookiee: Topaz Rave present and accounted for.


Now THERE is a proper stripper name!  Or My Little Pony character.  Same thing.

http://brunching.com/pornorpony.html
 
2013-02-18 12:50:53 AM  

megarian: Grand Am Nowhere ready and waiting!


Hey, we must be related! I'm Windstar Nowhere!

/Yeah, drove my parents' old minivan as my first car
//so pimp
 
2013-02-18 12:53:56 AM  

StreetlightInTheGhetto: Jabberwookiee: Topaz Rave present and accounted for.

Now THERE is a proper stripper name!  Or My Little Pony character.  Same thing.

http://brunching.com/pornorpony.html


Not a bookmark...

/oh, who am I kidding...
 
2013-02-18 12:54:54 AM  
Silverado Greenbrair reporting for duty!
 
2013-02-18 12:57:02 AM  
I win this game every time.
Porn name: Kitty Via Caterina.
US Coast Guard Spokeswoman name: Datsun Knuckleheads.

/where do I pick up my prize?
 
2013-02-18 01:00:15 AM  
Mustang Lexington reporting for duty.
 
2013-02-18 01:22:42 AM  

Nina9: /where do I pick up my prize?


In my pants.

/sorry, couldn't resist
 
2013-02-18 01:26:55 AM  
I have a coonhound/pit bull mix named Jetta.
And I have a Cairn Terrier named Disco.
And I served in the United States Coast Guard for three years. Semper Paratus.
What all this means, I have no idea.

It's a white woman? Imagine that.
 
2013-02-18 01:28:05 AM  
My coast guard spokesperson name is Explorer MUD. Sounds kind of cool, actually.
 
2013-02-18 01:37:11 AM  
Chevelle Cogen-Plant at your service
 
2013-02-18 02:02:11 AM  
Just wanted to jump in on this action...

Oldsmobile Laboratory reporting for duty!
 
2013-02-18 02:15:21 AM  

dbirchall: I remember the old "porn star name" game, where the first name was the name of your first pet, and the last name was the name of the street you lived on as a kid.  Clearly, this is something similar.

To determine your Coast Guard Spokesperson Name, use the model of the first car you owned, and the place you met your significant other.

/Spokesman Valiant Chatroom reporting for duty!


Hmm old name is Venus Sand... no sir, I don't like it
but is Altima Kindergarten or Altima wedding better? (both legit for diff reasons), Nope, they are all bad =(
 
2013-02-18 02:17:39 AM  
Bogus, I just read the thread and all my names are worse. what bad luck
 
2013-02-18 02:18:09 AM  
Starlet Edgbaston.... Nice.
 
2013-02-18 02:19:25 AM  
Tracer Nowhere, USCG, reporting as ordered.
 
2013-02-18 02:27:21 AM  

dbirchall: I remember the old "porn star name" game, where the first name was the name of your first pet, and the last name was the name of the street you lived on as a kid.  Clearly, this is something similar.

To determine your Coast Guard Spokesperson Name, use the model of the first car you owned, and the place you met your significant other.

/Spokesman Valiant Chatroom reporting for duty!


Chevette Divebar, standing by.
 
2013-02-18 02:31:07 AM  
 MY coast guard spokesperson name is Capt. Datsun Dance Hall for my ex. Roadmaster Flat Iron for my ex gf. HHR Panera Bread for present gf.
 
2013-02-18 02:35:10 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: dbirchall: I remember the old "porn star name" game, where the first name was the name of your first pet, and the last name was the name of the street you lived on as a kid.  Clearly, this is something similar.

To determine your Coast Guard Spokesperson Name, use the model of the first car you owned, and the place you met your significant other.

/Spokesman Valiant Chatroom reporting for duty!

Luv Cart Return

/my name sucks


A Chevy Luv? Nice. I wouldn't mind having one of those, but I know there's no way I'd ever find one.
 
2013-02-18 02:42:39 AM  
Relative?

static.okayplayer.com
 
2013-02-18 02:48:36 AM  
Maxima Class

/I'm okay with that
 
2013-02-18 03:00:30 AM  

Rocknutts: MY coast guard spokesperson name is Capt. Datsun Dance Hall for my ex. Roadmaster Flat Iron for my ex gf. HHR Panera Bread for present gf.


How many first cars do you have?
 
2013-02-18 03:15:39 AM  
Hummer Munster.

REPORTING FOR DUTY SIR!!!
 
2013-02-18 03:19:42 AM  

dbirchall: I remember the old "porn star name" game, where the first name was the name of your first pet, and the last name was the name of the street you lived on as a kid.  Clearly, this is something similar.

To determine your Coast Guard Spokesperson Name, use the model of the first car you owned, and the place you met your significant other.



Gremlin Esperanto-Club Meeting, reporting for duty!
 
2013-02-18 03:25:31 AM  

Fark Rye For Many Whores: What a disco in a stretch Jetta might look like
[www.avolarlimo.com image 850x564]


Sorry, couches and a stripper pole do not a disco make.
 
2013-02-18 03:51:33 AM  
Laser rotunda, reporting for duty SIR!
 
2013-02-18 03:59:45 AM  
Accord Casino, good to go.
 
2013-02-18 05:13:19 AM  
Astra Nowhere / Astra Foreveralone, reporting for duty...
 
2013-02-18 05:39:47 AM  

dbirchall: I remember the old "porn star name" game, where the first name was the name of your first pet, and the last name was the name of the street you lived on as a kid.  Clearly, this is something similar.

To determine your Coast Guard Spokesperson Name, use the model of the first car you owned, and the place you met your significant other.

/Spokesman Valiant Chatroom reporting for duty!


Ram Wow.... I think I win.
 
2013-02-18 05:46:20 AM  
I've never owned a car so I went with my dad's.

Mini Bar!
 
2013-02-18 07:34:16 AM  
Awesome, my Coast Guard name is: 

Reliant Cubicle

First Car = Plymouth Reliant
Met My Wife = In My Cubicle (three jobs ago)
 
2013-02-18 07:38:04 AM  
Call me Celebrity McDonalds. Damn, that one sucks.
 
2013-02-18 07:54:16 AM  
Jetta Disco, Millionaire. I own a mansion und a yacht.

www.superyachttimes.com
 
2013-02-18 07:57:30 AM  
900 Brewpub is a very silly name.
 
2013-02-18 07:58:06 AM  
Missy Cedar.  Too bad I did all my porn as Woody Johnson.
 
2013-02-18 08:13:45 AM  
That's Petty Officer 2nd Class Jetta H. Disco, to you farkers.

sadpanda.us
 
2013-02-18 08:29:39 AM  
Chevette Tavern
 
2013-02-18 09:01:12 AM  
Hey, stop making fun of Jetta Disco.  It's a perfectly cromulent New Jersey name.

/Seaman Apprentice Altima Coffee Shop, reporting for training.
 
2013-02-18 09:01:27 AM  
Satellite Restaurant here!
 
2013-02-18 09:25:39 AM  
Sundance Bookdrive, aye aye sir!

/'tis a silly name.
 
2013-02-18 09:41:22 AM  
Naval Spokesperson name: Camry Cafe

Porn name: Oliver Beaver (I-love-her...)

Awesome!
 
2013-02-18 09:58:33 AM  
Petty officer Escort Paradise reporting for duty..
 
2013-02-18 10:06:11 AM  

dbirchall: I remember the old "porn star name" game, where the first name was the name of your first pet, and the last name was the name of the street you lived on as a kid.  Clearly, this is something similar.

To determine your Coast Guard Spokesperson Name, use the model of the first car you owned, and the place you met your significant other.

/Spokesman Valiant Chatroom reporting for duty!


Sentra Bob's Big Boy.

/LOL
 
2013-02-18 10:12:52 AM  
Disco Disco, Good Good!
 
2013-02-18 10:35:09 AM  
Antithesis J. Macaroon II in da house
 
2013-02-18 01:27:38 PM  
Uhhhh, Eclipse Backpage has the helm
 
2013-02-18 02:22:59 PM  
Tempest Bistro has arrived.
 
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