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(ABC Action News)   Naked, drunk and wandering the streets is no way to go through life, 10-year-old   (abcactionnews.com) divider line 54
    More: Florida, Hill Street  
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8163 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Feb 2013 at 6:43 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-16 03:34:03 PM
Naked, drunk and wandering the streets is no way to go through life, 10-year-oldboy

There, much better.
 
2013-02-16 05:00:07 PM
The deputy asked Byrd if she had been drinking and she responded, "Yeah, I'm drunk as hell" and sat back down on the couch and passed out.

This is a very sad story but when I got to that part I laughed my ass off.

Was that wrong? Should I feel bad?
 
2013-02-16 05:30:22 PM
Was this article written by an intern? Jesus...
 
2013-02-16 06:25:59 PM
We all gotta start somewhere
 
2013-02-16 06:46:39 PM
Uh, subby, you do know that Florida tag trumps all?
 
2013-02-16 06:49:54 PM

quatchi: The deputy asked Byrd if she had been drinking and she responded, "Yeah, I'm drunk as hell" and sat back down on the couch and passed out.

This is a very sad story but when I got to that part I laughed my ass off.

Was that wrong? Should I feel bad?


I'm right there with you. For some reason I started giggling at "Deputies arrived at the home and also witnessed Byrd asleep, but a man was now sitting next to her looking at a phone."

ZOMG, there was a phone! And a man was looking at it!
 
2013-02-16 06:50:41 PM

quatchi: The deputy asked Byrd if she had been drinking and she responded, "Yeah, I'm drunk as hell" and sat back down on the couch and passed out.

This is a very sad story but when I got to that part I laughed my ass off.

Was that wrong? Should I feel bad?


No, you should feel badly!  Look up "adverb" vs. "adjective."
 
2013-02-16 06:52:06 PM

No Time To Explain: Uh, subby, you do know that Florida tag trumps all?


Farks retiring the the Florida tag as it has become clearly obvious that every state in this union has it's fair share of stupidity.
 
2013-02-16 06:53:08 PM
"The boy later told investigators that he had been drinking Christian Brother's Brandy for most of the day "

You know, for some reason I would have thought a bottle of Erk and Jerk would have been the main culprit. Christian Brothers is kinda pricey ain't it?
 
2013-02-16 06:53:16 PM
"Get your naked ass over here"
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-16 06:54:19 PM

apoptotic: ZOMG, there was a phone! And a man was looking at it!


Yeah, that one made me blink and have an ".....Aaaaaaaaand?" moment.

BarkingUnicorn: No, you should feel badly!  Look up "adverb" vs. "adjective."


Sorry 'bout that. Now I feel even worser.
 
2013-02-16 06:56:56 PM

Count Dyscalculia: "The boy later told investigators that he had been drinking Christian Brother's Brandy for most of the day "

You know, for some reason I would have thought a bottle of Erk and Jerk would have been the main culprit. Christian Brothers is kinda pricey ain't it?


Not for brandy

/well, really not for any liquor
//my ex was a big fan
 
2013-02-16 06:58:49 PM
Today really has been a shiat day for kids on Fark.
 
2013-02-16 07:01:25 PM
Son?
 
2013-02-16 07:02:42 PM
It's alright.
We've all been there.
 
2013-02-16 07:03:28 PM
www.baynews9.com

What a Byrd in the hand might look like.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-02-16 07:04:06 PM
It's worked for me so far.
 
2013-02-16 07:04:09 PM

paulseta: Was this article written by an intern? Jesus...

→"

The deputy could smell alcohol on her breathe. "←

Was exactly what I was thinking...
 
2013-02-16 07:04:11 PM
i291.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-16 07:05:19 PM

BarkingUnicorn: quatchi: The deputy asked Byrd if she had been drinking and she responded, "Yeah, I'm drunk as hell" and sat back down on the couch and passed out.

This is a very sad story but when I got to that part I laughed my ass off.

Was that wrong? Should I feel bad?

No, you should feel badly!  Look up "adverb" vs. "adjective."



Says someone who never felt quatchi.
 
2013-02-16 07:06:39 PM
Byrd is described as a caregiver (babysitter?) and the man as just a man. Where are the parents of the boy? Why no mention of them?
 
2013-02-16 07:09:37 PM

BarkingUnicorn: Was that wrong? Should I feel bad?

No, you should feel badly! Look up "adverb" vs. "adjective."


No.  Look up "linking verb" versus "action verb".

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/bad-versus-badly.aspx
 
2013-02-16 07:13:31 PM
No Time To Explain:

subby, you do know that Florida tag trumps all?
 
2013-02-16 07:17:19 PM

buserror: BarkingUnicorn: Was that wrong? Should I feel bad?

No, you should feel badly! Look up "adverb" vs. "adjective."

No.  Look up "linking verb" versus "action verb".

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/bad-versus-badly.aspx


Good link.
 
2013-02-16 07:22:45 PM
I'd hope by then my boys would be able to handle their hootch better than that...
 
2013-02-16 07:23:27 PM
Did the man sitting looking at the phone just magically appear? The story says this like he just magically dropped out of the sky and had never been seen before right that second.

The kid is lucky he's not dead, with that BAC.
 
2013-02-16 07:24:00 PM
I am impressed that a 10 year old can drink all day, blow a .108 and still be sober enough to explain to the police what happened.  Bright future he has!
 
2013-02-16 07:25:06 PM

proton: No Time To Explain: Uh, subby, you do know that Florida tag trumps all?

Farks retiring the the Florida tag as it has become clearly obvious that every state in this union has it's fair share of stupidity.


Can every state show an example of lunacy? Sure.

Can any of the other 49 even come close to matching the concentration and frequency displayed by America's wang? Nope.

Hell, even though I saw the Sad tag, I had to click because I just KNEW this had to be Florida.
 
2013-02-16 07:26:32 PM

Gyrfalcon: Did the man sitting looking at the phone just magically appear? The story says this like he just magically dropped out of the sky and had never been seen before right that second.

The kid is lucky he's not dead, with that BAC.


Last night I saw upon the couch
A little man with his cell phone out
He had his phone out again today
Oh how I wish he'd go away
 
2013-02-16 07:27:44 PM
I learned it from watching you, dad.
 
2013-02-16 07:28:57 PM

buserror: BarkingUnicorn: Was that wrong? Should I feel bad?

No, you should feel badly! Look up "adverb" vs. "adjective."

No.  Look up "linking verb" versus "action verb".

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/bad-versus-badly.aspx


Verbs.

www.socialmeteor.com

That's what's happening!

/TY, now I feel good again.
//Not only was I right but Donald Trump is wrong. Bonus!
 
2013-02-16 07:31:46 PM
It's only public indecency if the boy's hairy.
 
2013-02-16 07:37:03 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: my ex was a big fan


At least you didn't waste too much money.
 
2013-02-16 07:39:37 PM
The report stated that after Byrd woke up, she was lethargic and appeared intoxicated. The deputy could smell alcohol on her breathe.

/On her breathe? Really? Was she wearing rogue too? Where do they get these typists?
 
2013-02-16 07:46:56 PM
I think TFA may have gotten the kid's BAC wrong...
 
2013-02-16 07:48:51 PM

berylman: I am impressed that a 10 year old can drink all day, blow a .108 and still be sober enough to explain to the police what happened.  Bright future he has!


So what's his Fark username?
 
2013-02-16 07:49:58 PM

gas giant: I think TFA may have gotten the kid's BAC wrong...


BACDOMGWTFIMHO
 
2013-02-16 07:55:51 PM

quatchi: The deputy asked Byrd if she had been drinking and she responded, "Yeah, I'm drunk as hell" and sat back down on the couch and passed out.


Count Dyscalculia: "The boy later told investigators that he had been drinking Christian Brother's Brandy for most of the day "


So they had both been drinking - sharing, perhaps? - and she blacked out while he was still conscious enough to at least wander around drunk.  Congrats, lady, you've just had a 10-year-old out-drink you.
 
2013-02-16 07:58:08 PM

dbirchall: quatchi: The deputy asked Byrd if she had been drinking and she responded, "Yeah, I'm drunk as hell" and sat back down on the couch and passed out.

Count Dyscalculia: "The boy later told investigators that he had been drinking Christian Brother's Brandy for most of the day "

So they had both been drinking - sharing, perhaps? - and she blacked out while he was still conscious enough to at least wander around drunk.  Congrats, lady, you've just had a 10-year-old out-drink you.


You have found a new level of Sad for this story.
 
2013-02-16 08:32:13 PM
was it a boy or a girl??? the sex changed halfway through the farken story lol

god dam that article was shiat
 
2013-02-16 08:34:12 PM

Count Dyscalculia: BACDOMGWTFIMHO


WTFBBQBACLOLIANALYMMVATVTCIPLSDRSVPBYOBQWERTY
 
2013-02-16 08:57:02 PM
I didn't start doing that kinda crap until I was like 12.
 
2013-02-16 09:11:44 PM

Bit'O'Gristle: The report stated that after Byrd woke up, she was lethargic and appeared intoxicated. The deputy could smell alcohol on her breathe.

/On her breathe? Really? Was she wearing rogue too? Where do they get these typists typeists?


/ftfm
 
2013-02-16 09:23:29 PM
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-16 09:49:32 PM

No Time To Explain: Uh, subby, you do know that Florida tag trumps all?


You would think the modmin folks would just automatically change it.
 
2013-02-16 09:51:26 PM

brandent: No Time To Explain: Uh, subby, you do know that Florida tag trumps all?

You would think the modmin folks would just automatically change it.


Then again maybe they too are drunk, naked, and wandering the streets.
 
2013-02-16 10:48:14 PM
Actually, these were happier circumstances than I imagined from the headlines. Getting drunk with your caregiver and then wandering outside because you heard a noise and thought it was your friend is better than getting picked up by a pedophile, given "Jesus juice," and then being molested while you are kind of out of your wits, which is where I thought this was going.

/not a font of faith in humanity, me
 
2013-02-16 10:55:11 PM
Is he gonna acknowledge "I learned it all from you, Dad (or Mom)?"

/he'll be quite the "party animal" when he's a teenager
//should have been hanging out with a girl named Brandy
//oh, and is somebody helping him try to be the youngest alcoholic on record?
 
2013-02-16 11:17:49 PM
Next time......

farm1.staticflickr.com
 
2013-02-17 12:17:01 AM
He's going to fit-in well with most any downtown AA group.
 
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